A tour in Equestria

by mehperson

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sapphire Shores, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 976

A tour of a TRUE normal day in Equestria.

You have heard of the mane 6's norm of the day, so how about the rest? Get ready for ingenius vocabulary and a few vulgarities. Similiar to A 'Normal' day in Equestria but with different jokes and a tour group.

Published 2014-05-28 13:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-28 13:40:01 UTC

EPIC TOUR

Let us start simple....

"Class, hand up your grammar homework,"instructed Cheerilee in a stern voice.

Scootaloo said that she did not do her homework, enraging Cheerilee to evolve into the flaming RAPIDASH .

Scootaloo decided to write on the whiteboard of majesticness. It read:

' Aye ame ur ma.'

The class burst into fits of laughter, literally.

ANYWAY

Teleports tour group to a wedding proposal.

"Will you marry me?" a young stallion asked to a beautiful mare. The mare gasped before declaring to be in love with another stallion.

"But who?" the brokenhearted stallion asked.

"It. Is. YOOOOU. I love you!" the mare announced.

"Marry me!" the stallion cheered.

"Nope." the mare said.

"But you just said that you loved me!" the stallion cried.

"But I am already married. To this fine stallion," the mare said pointing her hoof to another stallion before floating into space. "I love you," the mare announced once again to the lonely stallion."I will never forget you."

ANYWAY! TO AN AUDITION STARRING SAPPHIRE SHORES!!

"AHhhhhhhhh!" Sapphire ended her song and the crowd did a standing ovation. The judges were thoroughly impressed and decided to let Sapphire continue. However, a moment hit Sapphire. Literally. She got it off and told the judges that she can not continue. When asked why, Sapphire told them these words,"I will continue my family tradition of breaking through doors."She exited the concert hall and went to The place where you can break through doors and nopony will give a fuck.

Everypony was door fighting (hu hua!)

Everypony is fatter than lighting (hu hua)

jnhnihrbdhbhewoing

ehniederjch jbing

That was for the sake of rhyming.

Everypony was door turd fighting

Everypony was door turd fighting.

Fun fact: Sapphire Shores' family always was in conflict with Princess Door, a secret princess.

Meanwhile, in the palace of Princess Doors of Dooriness......

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSS.DOOORS.DOOOORS!!!"

Doors.

In Sugarcube Corner.....

"Why does the place smell like something burning?" Mrs Cake asked. They suddenly realised that something was burning. But by then, it was already too late. KABBBBBOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!. It was concocted ( see, I have vast range vocabulary) by the evil Sweetie Belle who had taken over any places in Equestria. The pony whom (and grammar) were captured by Sweetie Belle were filled with potatoes. Bad potatoes. Bad.

In Twilight's palace....

"Where is the subway?"asked Twilight.

"You never asked!"Spike snapped.

They stared at each other and they had a staring contest. Their eyes burned so much that their eyes began shooting out LASERS.

Anyway....

Rarity stared at a potato. She fried it with her eyes. She became a chef. Scootaloo was the potato. Cheerilee is an evil teacher who transforms her naughty students into delicious potatoes. Apple Bloom, however, is an exception. She turns Apple Bloom into an apple blooming (pun intended).

Ok moving on......

Babs Seed stood then flew then did a triple rainboom. By farting. It was so simple..... and smelly. It smelled like seeds. She flew over all of Equestria, making every town smelly. Sweetie Belle manufactured artificial fart and tortured her prisoners with it. It was based on Bab Seed's triple rainboom from a fart. Sweetie Belle, you are an evil bastard that can take over the entire world, even beyond Equestria. You have the power.

Nevermind......

An eery presence was felt when Princess Trollestia came. She bean squirting ink everywhere, provoking an evil spirit. When everypony saw the graffiti, they screamed. It was a painting of Princess Trollestia herself. Everypony hide. She can not beat Sweetie Belle, though.

LET US LEARN!

This is the alphabet:

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm. Know you know your qwe, now sing along with me or else I will blast your head off!!!!

In a dirt palace....

"But ew kjfnmdskc is in deep shit!" a young princess informed her sister that ran away ( frozen reference intended... and elsa lets her sanity go. Good movie and video. Their media types are shown respectively)

"I do not care! Go get me a subway!" her sister declared

"No." the former ( the first one mentioned in this situation)

"Get out you idiot!" the latter shouted ( the second one in this situation.)

"No" the former said.

The latter slammed the door behind her.

"I DO NOT GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! THE EAR RAPE NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY!" the latter shouted in a melodious voice.

That was vulgar....

"I am bored." Author 2 declared. In case you are wondering who is Author 2, she is my clone that writes sane stories.

TO PRINCESS CELESTIA

She was dancing. Seriously. She was twerking on the steps, her bed, on her table that is on my head, in front of the guards and even on the chandelier! She began licking a hammer. She was the new Miley Cyrus. She sat on a wrecking ball, naked. She posted it. Children lost their innocence and began shooting random ponies and team up with the already powerful and evil Sweetie Belle.

Above their heads was howl's moving castle.

TO PRINCESS LUNA

Princess Luna was on the moon. Why? This is what happened.

Princess Celestia was drunk and began banning people to the moon. She banned her alarm clock, her telephone, a random guard ( please be Flash Sentry. LOL also known as laughing out loud. I do not have a crush on Twilight, by the way),a silver spoon, a fork, a diamond tiara, a bed, a piece of paper, an electrical circuit, a cart, a chicken and her mom. Princess Luna tried to stop Princess Celestia. She tasered Princess Celestia in the flank. Princess Celestia banned her to the MOOON. She became DESMOND THE MOON BEAR ( asdfmovie reference)

TO PRINCESS MI AMORE CADENZA also known as Princess Cadence.

She was well doing something with Shining Armor.

ANYWAY

Teleporting the tour group to base.

The words of the day is..... evil, doors, random and moon.

THE END