life is good:life is harsh
As Octavia walked through her now-lonely apartment, cleaning up the odds and ends from the past few months, she stumbled upon a book beneath a pile of papers. She looked at the old tattered book and flipped it over and read the cover, as she realized what she was looking at, a tear worked its way down her cheek. Against the sadness welling up inside her she decided to read what her dear friend had left behind.
As she opened the cover a note fell out and onto the floor. She picked it up and it read,
“Dear Octavia, If you are reading this than you have found my journal that I have left behind for you. I know our relationship didn’t work out in the end, but I recorded the entire relationship in this book. Hoping it finds its way to you, I would like you to read it. Just because we didn’t end up in the way we hoped for, that doesn’t mean you can’t remember the joyful memories we shared. With this I part you.”
Your Dearest friend
Lyra.
Octavia started to cry but she forced herself to turn the page and read the first entry.
“Octavia, I remember the first time we met, when I saw you on that day I knew there was something special about you. I Just watched your graceful movements as you walked down the bustling street. At first it was a weird feeling because until now I have never felt this way about another mare before. As the days went by I was working up the courage to ask you but I never was able too until that one day.”
Reading this wasn’t what Octavia had expected to do that day, but once she found it she just couldn’t stop the tears of joy and sorrow that she wept.
“That one day….I just couldn’t help myself from realizing that today you looked even more beautiful than I ever thought you could. That one day.. When I finally asked you…As you were just leaving the shop I walked up to you and asked….
Octavia was crying harder than she thought possible as she recalled that one day ...the day Lyra had finally asked her.
“I was just simply overjoyed when you responded with a yes, I almost couldn’t contain myself because that this had finally happened. As we walked out together and down the road talking, I knew inside that this was very special and I knew I would cherish this forever….”
As Octavia kept reading she cried even more, which isn’t how she normally is, She was wondering how much her friend had written in this journal so she decided to check. As she flipped through the journal she realized that almost every day she recorded something. For some reason something was bothering her, and then she realized that she had been sitting there for the better part of the morning, and between her cleaning and the journal, she completely forgot about eating breakfast.
She stood up to go get some food but then realized that for the past few days, she was so sad when she busied herself with cleaning she also forgot to buy food. As she got ready to leave and go to the store she took a glance into the den and saw the book lying there on the table. As she forced herself to be cheerful, she walked out and shut the door behind her.
As she walked down the crowded street, she greeted the few ponies that knew her. She walked further down the street and into the store and she was greeted by the friendly stallion working behind the counter.
She slowly walked down the aisles taking the things off the shelves that looked even remotely appetizing, she then remembered how her and Lyra always used to come here to get groceries. As she walked back up to the counter to pay for the food, The stallion behind the counter had a friendly smile on his face.
“Well hello there, did you find what you were looking for?”
Octavia shrugged and handed him the bits, taking the bags of food off the counter.
“Excuse me, is something bothering you?”
Octavia forced a smile onto her face “Oh nothing, I am fine” She walked out of the store and sighed. Everypony around this part of town knew what happened, how could he not?
As she walked back into her home and put the food away she looked at the book sitting on the table. With a sigh she walked over, sat down, and continued to read.
“Seeing you just gave me this good feeling inside, like we were meant for eachother, I loved that I was able to see you every day to admire your beauty. I loved how we always were together; I even thought it was funny because every pony would know, If one of us was there, the other would be too. I just loved how whenever I would wake up you would be there, and how no matter what we would always stay together.”
When Octavia noticed the date of the next entry she couldn’t help herself from smiling. She remembered that day pretty clearly, and she always would…
“I am just simply ecstatic that you suggested that we should go on a little date out tonight. But as I was asking where we could go, you answered my question when you said that it doesn’t matter as long as we're together. After that I was just so happy, I almost couldn't contain myself. Once we decided on a place to go I was wishing that this night would just never end. I was thinking to myself, “just don’t screw it up“. As we entered the fancy restaurant I realized that you truly did love me, paying all the money to go to a restaurant like this must have taken some large amount of foolishness…or just plain love. As we sat down at the table we were surprised to see our friend Bonbon there along with her stallion friend sitting in the booth right next to us. As we talked she introduced her stallion friend: he had a light brown coat with dark brown mane, and she said his name was Braeburn. We all continued to talk and have a good time: we ate, talked ,and laughed together and all had a good time.
“After dinner we departed from our friends and walked to the park. This was all a new experience for me, since I have never been to the park at night. As we laid down together on the cool grass we looked up into the night sky and watched the stars. Together we laid there for a while until I looked at you and we kissed. It just felt so good, kissing you in the park by moonlight. It wasn’t our first kiss but every time we kissed it just felt so magical, like it could just never stop. After kissing for about five whole minutes, we laid back onto our backs and gazed up at the sky. Just as we looked up, a shooting star flew across the night sky. As we looked at each other we knew that neither of us needed to make a wish, ours had already come true.”
Octavia couldn’t help smile when she read this, She still remembers that night. She always loved when her and Lyra went out on dates together, but that first one was one she would always remember, It had a special place in her heart, and she knew it would stay there.
“We got up slowly and made our way back to your apartment, on our way there we kept looking at each other and smiling. I loved spending time with you, just as much as I knew you liked spending time with me. When we walked in I couldn’t help realize how clean your apartment was compared to mine. I know I thought this every time I walked into it considering that my apartment was always a mess. When I realized the time I suggested that we should go to bed, and you gladly accepted the idea. We walked into your room and we settled ourselves into the bed. We embraced each other in one more kiss before you turned off the light and we fell asleep.”
As she finished up that entry she realized that it was already midnight, and that she should probably get some rest. As she got into bed, she realized how lonely it was to be alone at night, and she knew that feeling would probably never go away…
BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! Octavia grudgingly turned off the annoying alarm. She wondered why she had bothered to set it considering she had nothing planned until next Saturday. She decided to get up and actually eat breakfast for once. She walked into the kitchen and pulled out of the cupboard a box Pon-E-O’s. Octavia wondered why she even bought cereal anyway, to her they all just tasted like soggy oats. Soggy oats and milk; not what she considered a breakfast but it would have to do. After breakfast she decided to take a walk through the park that her and Lyra would always go to.
Remembering the time she spent with Lyra by actually going to the places they went to seemed to be more cheerful than the diary, but she knew when she got home she would be absorbed into the book for the rest of the day. She decided to take the most time possible before heading back. Walking through the park she tried to concentrate on things like the birds singing and other ponies she met that were there too. But in the back of her mind she knew that all she really wanted to just read the journal instead of doing other things. After walking around the park for a while she decided to go back home but then she bumped into her friend Bonbon.
“Oh hey there Octavia its nice to see you.”
“Its nice to see you too Bonbon” said Octavia, putting on the fake smile she knew too well from the last few days.
Bonbon, always having a cheerful attitude didn't seem to notice that Octavia’s behavior was quite pathetic. “Anyways, why have you been cooped up in your apartment for the past few days”
As Octavia explained to her friend about the journal that Lyra had left and what she had read so far, Bonbon had this odd look on her face.
Bonbon sighed, “I knew you would find it eventually.”
“What! You knew the whole time that she had left that for me?”
“Octavia, everypony knew, we didn’t want you to be too depressed after she left.”
Octavia let out a long sigh because she knew her friend was right, she would be very depressed if she read it just after Lyra left. “I know you didn’t want me finding it at first for a while, but it has been six months since she left--Six Months!, why didn’t you tell me sooner.”
As Bonbon held back her tears Octavia apologized for being so rude to her.
“Oh, its okay Octavia, I know that you loved her, and I probably should have told you sooner anyway.”
“So Bonbon, have i missed anything in the past few days?”
Bonbon with a puzzled look said “Octavia you should probably take a break from the journal and your house if you don't know what's been going on for the past few days”
“Well have i missed anything?”
“No, but you do remember that Vinyl’s Birthday is next week?”
“Oh I completely forgot about it, I’m sorry Bonbon, I assure you I'll be there. What day was it, Tuesday?”
Bonbon rolled her eyes slowly “Octavia its Thursday, not Tuesday.”
Octavia tried to keep smiling as she said bye to her friend. On the way back to her house She smacked her hoof against her face yelling “STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!” Octavia knew her social life would be in ruin if she got too absorbed into the journal, she also knew that she had to finish it just to get it over with and move on in life, In the back of her mind she knew that if she didn’t , she would go insane.
She knew that she had to manage her time between the journal and life, because if she didn’t, things could end badly. She thought that it might be a good idea to get Vinyl something now instead of later in case she forgot about it later. She then walked to the local store to pick out a gift. She browsed the dull items upon the gray shelves. She knew that Vinyl, like herself and a countless number of her friends, liked music. The thing was almost everyone would get her something music-related, so Octavia tried to think of something to get her that would mean more than that. They had been friends for a long time and she wanted to get something to let her remember that. She skimmed the isles looking for something but nothing seemed good enough.
Octavia came to the solution that this store just didn’t have what she was looking for, so she pondered the thought of making her something, but she was horrible at those kind of things. As she walked back to her apartment she knew finding a gift for her friend was going to be tough, but will she be able to find something?
Octavia settled herself into her living room couch as she was wondering what to do: read the journal, or try to find a gift for her friend. Then an idea popped into her head. A long time ago, when Octavia was little, both her and Vinyl were in music school together. They made a song together but were only given one copy of it, and vinyl wanted her to have it. She knew that this would be the perfect gift for her, now she just had to find it. As she searched through the piles of random junk around her apartment she found some stuff she was looking for earlier, but that she didn’t care about now. All she wanted was to find that song.
Octavia then realized it would be a lot easier if she could remember what it was recorded on. She knew it was such a long time ago….but how long. She was searching through her older things: records,8 track, and even through the scrolls for the old player piano in her basement. And then she saw it, an old grayish white cassette sitting on one of the shelves in her bedroom. She was relieved to have finally found it, even though she might forget about it once she started to read more in the journal.
“We woke up together, as we usually did, but today you said that you had something nice for us planned. I was excited even though I had no idea what you had on your mind”
Octavia thought to herself Lyra you were just so silly, I wasn’t thinking that crazily that day, even though some days she didn’t know what went on inside her head herself.”
“As you guided me through a section of the town I didn’t know very well you told me to close my eyes and take your hand. I had no idea what you were planning to do but I knew it would be something I would remember. When you told me to stop I had no clue where we were but I could hear a few ponies doing something around us. I really wanted to know what you were doing so I asked if I could open my eyes. After you said yes I opened them to see a camera-pony
getting ready to take a shot. You told me to kiss you, I obeyed. We embraced in a kiss as the pony took the shot. When we were done I looked and saw a tear making its way down your cheek. Once I realized this I started to cry and we kissed some more…”
As Octavia closed the book, she looked up with teary eyes at the photo that was hanging on her wall and said to herself. “Lyra, how could I have let it end that way… You know I would have switched places with you in a heartbeat.” As Octavia broke out into tears she asked herself, ”Why…”
Friends should never be alone
Bonbon knocked on the door…No answer.
“Octavia? Are you there?”
Still no answer. Bonbon pushed the door open and made her way inside the apartment. It was a little cleaner than what it was last time, but it still was a noticeable mess. Clearly Octavia had not yet gotten around to cleaning, Bonbon could only guess why. As she made her way into the den, she saw Octavia lying on the couch asleep with a book lying on top of her face. Bonbon couldn’t help herself chuckle, well at least until she realized what the book was…When she realized this, she wasn’t surprised in the least, but she tried to arouse her friend from her sleep anyway.
“Octavia, wake up.”
“Wh’, Wha’, What? Bonbon? Why are you here?”
“Octavia, its 2:00 in the afternoon, you have been asleep all day”
“Oh… I‘m sorry Bonbon, but why exactly are you here?”
Bonbon rolled her eyes while Octavia looked at her with a quizzical expression.
“Octavia, you do remember that Vinyl is the guest DJ at the club on the other side of town and we promised that we would be there to support her.”
“Oh, I knew that” Octavia put on her infamous fake smile, “Did you really think that I would forget.”
“Yes Octavia, I knew you would forget, so get ready so we can get there on time”
“What’s there to get ready? It’s a club, not something formal.”
“I know that, but you can at least take a shower…considering you haven’t taken one in the past 2 weeks.”
“I didn’t think anypony would notice.” Bonbon glared at Octavia, “OK maybe some people have noticed”
“Octavia, just about everypony has noticed, now just take a shower so we wont be late”
“Ok then” Octavia got up slowly and made her way to the bathroom.
Octavia turned the knob and let the cool water soothe her as it ran through her mane. Even she was starting to get concerned with herself, she knew Lyra hadn’t meant for the journal to be such a problem, but it was turning out to be a big one. She really did miss Lyra, so it was nice to remember the good old days when they were together, but she didn’t need to obsess over it, and act like it was the only thing that mattered. Octavia knew it wasn’t, her friends mattered too, and they should matter more than a journal filled with old memories. She knew she needed to spend more time with her friends to make up for the already large amount of time she spent reading the journal. At least she would be attending this event and vinyl’s party, because she was one of the ponies that she neglected most of all. Octavia was starting to feel really bad as she realized just how much she was neglecting her friends. These thoughts were beginning to depress her but luckily Bonbon broke the silence.
“Octavia, are you almost done, we really should be heading out soon”
“I am almost done, I’ll be out in a minute.” Bonbon was still waiting impatiently in the kitchen
Octavia finished her shower and dried herself off, and looked into the mirror. This really is starting to become a problem. She mumbled to herself. She was starting to get rings around her eyes from the lack of sleep, her mane was much longer than it should have been, and her overall appearance was lacking the brightness that it used to have.
Octavia brushed her mane into its usual style, but ended up realizing that it was just too long. She decided to just have it natural, like most ponies do. She was thinking about what to do for the rings around her eyes, but Bonbon impatiently yelled,
“Octavia! Hurry up in there!”
“OK” Octavia yelled back. She opened the door and walked down the hallway into the kitchen where Bonbon was still impatiently waiting.
“There you are Octavia…Hmm, having your mane back like that on you doesn’t really look that bad.”
Octavia tried to hide her blush, but it showed through. Bonbon laughed a little as they walked out the door. Almost at last minute, Octavia grabbed her pair of shades off the counter. At least I have something to cover my eyes. She thought as they left the apartment
Octavia was beginning to be glad to be away from the journal, just the temptation of reading it would have driven her mad. She was more glad to be able to make up for the lost time with her friends. She was really annoyed with herself not only with how she was treating her friends, but how she entirely forgot about one of her best friend’s birthday. She loved Lyra, but past relationships shouldn’t mean more than present friendships. Octavia knew that what she was doing was wrong, and that she should try to stop it at all costs, but before she can stop it, she must fix what was already broken.
Octavia must have been thinking for too long because just as she finished her last thought, they were already at the club.
“Ok Octavia, this is Vinyl’s big night, so just stay cool and congratulate her when it’s over.
Octavia and Bonbon sat a table with a few other ponies that gave them puzzled yet slightly annoyed looks. Since this was club, most of the ponies were on the dance floor except for the select few that were either too tired already or just didn’t want to. The regular dj played music for about an hour before the owner of the club came out onto the floor.
“Tonight we have something special for all of you ponies out there, as our guest dj for the night, we have Canterlot’s very own Vinyl Scratch!” He walked off and Vinyl came up to the table as about half the ponies in the club cheered.
Throughout the night, the two ponies talked and listened to there best friend play music. By the end of the night they all congratulated Vinyl for doing it but she just shrugged and said it was nothing. After the night was over, the three friends walked down the streets of Canterlot back to their homes. They decided to walk together just for the sake of it and they all agreed. Vinyl’s home was first, the friends said goodbye as Vinyl walked into her house.
Since Bonbon’s house was closest they decided to go their first, on the way there Bonbon talked to Octavia and that she shouldn’t miss Vinyl’s party. As they neared the house the two remaining friends said there farewells as Bonbon entered the house and Octavia began the journey back to her apartment. Octavia’s house was the farthest away so she had to walk two miles to get back. As Octavia walked, she thought about how good the night was, how good friends she had, and of course, Lyra…
Octavia sighed as she neared her apartment, the night was beautiful, it was just like the night of their first date. The cloudless skies and the full moon just made a great sight. Oh how she loved that first night, Octavia doubted that any night could get better than that. She opened the door and walked into her den and laid down onto the couch. She would have walked to her room but she was just too exhausted to walk much further. The expensive couch soothed her muscles as she started to relax. She took one glance over to the table beside her but more importantly the book on top of it. She smiled as she fell into a deep sleep…
March 7th
Octavia… Why? “ Octavia, you are by far the most stubborn mare I know.(And the most beautiful.) How could you believe that that wasn’t all an accident?”
“It all started last night, We went out to eat at the restaurant we always went to. After you left for a short while a stallion came up to me and sat down. I looked over at him and kindly said that that seat was taken by someone. All he did was respond with, I don’t see anyone. After that I told him to please leave but he just wouldn’t. And then he started hitting on me, I was utterly appalled and tried to leave when he grabbed my leg and pulled me closer. I had tried to pull away more than once but he kept tightening his grip. He then started to try to kiss me right as you walked around the corner of the hallway with a gasp. He saw you standing there and gulped, but before he could escape you trotted over to us and grabbed him by the neck and threw him onto the floor. You then looked me over with a frown and turned back to the stallion. By now most of the ponies throughout the restaurant were now watching us. You picked him up off the floor by his throat and smashing his face into the counter, all the while knocking over stools, tables, and chairs. By now a Police Pony that was outside burst into the building and trotted over to you. Before he could do anything you took the stallion and threw him into the officer and sending them both crashing into a table by the front window. Before either of them got back up you took my leg and forcefully dragged me out of the restaurant and down the bustling street.”
“You hadn’t said a word as you stormed home, clearly fumed by the day’s earlier happenings. The walk back home was exhausting because it was a long way and it didn’t help that you were practically running with me being dragged along. When we got to your apartment you walked swiftly into your room and slammed the door behind you. All I did was sit in the kitchen with a puzzled look on my face, I knew what it looked like, but did you really think it was true?
“the next morning when I awoke you were sitting at the kitchen table alone, I grudgingly got up and walked into the kitchen. I thought you would have at least said something but you didn’t, not even a word. It felt weird, we were sitting at the table together, but I was alone.”
“After a while you got up and made your way to the door, you walked out without even the slightest parting gesture. At that moment I decided to take a walk, I had no clue where to go but it was better than sitting around while you were away. I walked down the streets of Canterlot, I had the whole day to waste so I decided to go to the park. It was a beautiful day, many couples were out at the park today, and they all looked nice together too. I made my way to the hill where we always used to sit, I walked over to the table that had a couple sitting at it. I recognized the couple as I asked if I could sit there with them, in fact we actually ate lunch once here with them before.”
“As the stallion said yes I sat down and looked up at the sky and down into the park. I saw little fillies playing and couples eating, I admit that I was jealous, even though we had done it many times before. After a few hours the couple left and I was alone with my thoughts ounce again, I spent a countless while thinking of you and cursing what had happened the day prior. All I wanted was you back, I was just so angry at that stallion for what he did, and he did deserve what you did to him”
“A little while before it started to get dark I heard a familiar voice from behind me, it was Bonbon. She asked me why you weren’t there and all I said was that something had happened. After a few later inquiries, I gave in and explained the whole story to her. She also agreed with me that the stallion had got what he deserved, but she was annoyed with you for thinking of it in the wrong way. I then asked her if she could talk to you, it was the only way I could think of to get you back…”
Octavia sighed as she remembered that day, as she looked back on that day, now she knew that she should have trusted Lyra then, and now she regretted it now. Thinking back to that day was a pain, probably one of the 2 worst memories of their relationship.
“Octaviaaa!!!!”
“What do you want bonbon?” Octavia replied lazily.
“Octavia, we need to talk!”
“About what?”
“You know what! Right now there is a lonely mare sitting in a park not knowing what to do for 15 hours, and do you know who that mare is? Lyra, the one pony out there who most surely loves you, and nopony else! She has been at the park wondering what would happen between you two…”
“But”
“No buts, I know what you saw there, and what you think, but that is no reason to think the one pony out there who loves you with all her heart doesn’t. Octavia… FIX IT!” Bonbon slammed the door on her way out…
Octavia hated that conversation that she had with Bonbon, she would have never done that if she knew it wasn’t going to last. She kept reading…
“I slowly got up from the table grudgingly, I had managed to fall asleep on the park and by judging the moon it was about three in the morning. At that moment I decided to go back home, I hadn’t seen Bonbon after she left to talk to you but it wasn’t worth sleeping in a park to wait for any sort of response. I packed up my journal and left. It was a long undisturbed walk home, it was 5 miles but I didn’t run into anyone. I was wondering what happened when Bonbon talked to you when I walked up to your apartment doorstep, I knocked on the door… no answer. I slowly pushed the door open soundlessly and walked in. You must have heard me come in because you looked up as I walked into the kitchen. As you saw me there your eyes lit up, you jumped up of the couch and hugged me as tightly as you could, saying that you were so sorry that you didn’t trust me.”
“That night I was so happy, It may have been just only a short while that we were separated, but it felt like an eternity. As we curled up together in the bed together you fell into a deep sleep. I finished writing in my journal, set it beside the bed and fell into a deep sleep, but this time with you…”
Octavia closed the book, and with teary eyes slowly started to doze off…
“Octavia…”
“Octavia…”
“OCTAVIA!”
“Wha, Wha What?” Octavia looked around curiously after being aroused from her sleep. Octavia peered into her apartment with blurry vision for a moment before rubbing her eyes. Nopony was there, Not a single soul was there besides herself. Her dimly lit house was as sound as late winters night. Octavia was totally confused, until she looked at the clock on the wall…
It was 9:30, and Octavia knew something wasn’t right, but then it clicked…
Before her mind could compute anything more she had grabbed a small package and was out the door. She ran as fast as she possibly could, and there was nopony on the lone streets to stop her.
After about half an hour of running, she recognized the familiar street, and then the house… It wasn’t much of a house, It was white with a black roof, but in the dim light it all looked like a pale grey. To most ponies the house would have seemed like an ordinary house on an ordinary street, but to Octavia, it was something special.
It all started some 20 years ago, Octavia’s parents had just moved into this part of the city with their daughter. In the house across the street was a white house where a small family lived. To Octavia, it was just a neighbor with a small filly only a few years younger than herself. But a few months after the family moved in, the parents of the young filly were going on a trip, but they couldn’t bring their daughter. So a few days before they left, they asked their new neighbors to take care of their daughter for the week. It was a great plan, their kids already had gotten to know each other and were decent friends. The parents dropped their kid off the next Friday and left, All was fine for a while until the night off the sixth day. That day, the little filly asked her friends parents when hers will be back, they kissed her on the forehead and said tomorrow.
The next day when the parents didn’t show up the kid asked again. All the ponies said was that they were probably just running late. It went on for another week until the news came. They were all shocked by what they had heard, but the kid kept asking, “When will I see my Mommy and Daddy?”
The kid didn’t know, but her parents had died in a tragic accident on the trip back. The whole neighborhood was devastated, but the kid kept asking…
After a few days the little filly was put up for adoption, and she still kept asking.
Another hopeless week passed by until a middle aged couple came up to the Adoption Center. When they saw the kid they knew she was perfect. They asked her for her name. and she responded in a stuttered childish tone, “My name is Vinyl Scratch”
Soon after the couple and their new kid moved into the white house on the short drive. The small filly grew up there, never knowing what had happened to her real parents.
And that is why Octavia, from that fateful day, vowed to always watch over her friend.
Octavia rushed up the stairs to the house just as a familiar pony walked out. It was Bonbon, surprised to see Octavia there almost fell down the stairs as the mare ran past her. Octavia rushed into the house just in time to catch the pony she ran 5 miles for walking up the stairs.
“Wha? Octavia?!”
“Vinyl, I am so so sorry that I missed your party”
“Oh, its okay, at least you came to see me-
“No! It’s not okay Vinyl, I was too concerned with what happened in the past to care about the future, along with my loving friends that are in it”
“What?” Vinyl asked puzzled.
“Here, just have this” Octavia said as she handed the small package to her friend.
“What is it?: Vinyl asked,
“Just open it!”
Vinyl slowly opened the small package carefully as Octavia watched anxiously.
“OH Celestia, Octavia, are you really giving me this?” “I remember when we made it in music school together all those years ago, And I told you to keep it because I was going away for the summer.”
“Did you really keep it this long?”
“Yes Vinyl, and now its yours, So you can remember all the years we shared as friends when we were little fillies”
As the two mares smiled, they embraced each other in a tight hug. They hugged for a while, not noticing their friend walking away from the window… Smiling.
