How more cool can this day get?
A normal day in Equestria! So peaceful, safe, productive and- BOOOOOOORING!
Well, except for one pony, Rainbow Dash, who at the moment was lamenting about the lack of excitement happening in Ponyville, or Equestria in general. Currently laying in one of the many high clouds above Ponyville, the same ones supposed to be cleared out for the morning by her too.
“Uggggh! Everypony and everything is going about their business with no trouble, invention, idea, or anything for months! Where are all the crazy and chaotic stuff that happens on a daily basis here!?”
This 'business' be more of an effective excuse for boredom, if Rainbow Dash did not skip on those exact “boring” duties that everypony had to do, but she was too bored and angry to care about her hypocritical complaining.
“Even Discord is infected with the boring disease, doing nothing but doing whatever ‘royal’ duties he has to do for the princess! I’m even starting to miss his old self.”
She rolled over on her cloud to see a glare from the said draconequus, mere inches from her face and laying on the same cloud.
She promptly fell over.
“AHHHHHHH! Discord what are you doing!?”
Discord ignored her screams, and just huffed in annoyance, “I may be a reformed spirit of chaos, but I will not let my name be smudged or insulted! I must know why I be talked about in such a rude manner by one of my best-est friends!”
Saying this while doing dramatic hand gestures did not help RD’s irritation with him. Discord rolled his eyes at this, he did not appreciate his complaints to be looked over.
“Whatever Dip-cord-”
“gasp! Such language Rainbow Dash! A ‘lady’ such as yourself should frame from such words!”
Discord interrupted with mock surprise, Rainbow’s eye twitched at the annoying spirit, and turned around from him to nap again.
“Be annoying all you want! Even that is not helping with my boredom! So just let me complain and go bother someone else!”
“What kind of a friend do you think I am Shutterfly!? I am the number-one cure for such a terrible state!”
Rainbow Dash kept her face turned away from Discord, trying to shut her eyes and block out the noise. He started to get impatient, and snapped his fingers, turning himself into a genie connected to a lamp in Rainbow’s hooves.
“What do you desire my dear? What can my PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS do to cure your boredom?”
She was going to respond with another quip, but she put her hoof on her chin in thought He may be obnoxious, but he has powers to create ANYTHING! And is willing to bring something really awesome for me! She grinned madly at that thought, making the ‘genie’ raise an eyebrow in curiosity and a little fear.
“I want you to bring the most awe- no - COOL thing to Ponyville! Someone that will never stop running out of coolness for me or the town!”
"Your wish is my command!"
Her eyes gleamed in anticipation for the chaotic being to us his powers to such for such a desire, his eyes were glowing white, the clouds in the sky formed a tornado-like form, and a bright blue pillar of light shined from the heavens themselves! Suddenly, It seemed as if a ball of light was floating down to the pegasas, as she started to shake her hooves in excitement, it seemed as if all of Equestria was about to witness a great revelation….!
….Until it all went back to normal in a split second as if nothing happened.
“Meh, could not find anything”
The draconequus shrugged, back into his ‘normal’ form, and was about to flash away when something rainbow-colored grabbed him from behind his neck.
“What do you mean you ‘could not find anything’!? The enter world, no, universe does not have anything cool!?”
“Nope…. well there was this one thing that claimed to be cool incarnated as his entire world praised him for it, but I thought that was too boring for somepony like you.”
Dash started to thrash the beast’s neck around like a limp noodle, annoying the victim in question.
“What!? I did all I could… mostly”
“Summon it”
“Whaaaat?”
“Bring it here in Ponyville!”
“I can’t hear you, as if the rudeness of somepony got in the way of your words”
Discord picked his ears to pull out a mini screaming multi-colored pegasus which he flicked off.
“Ugggggh fine! Please Discord can you summon this awesome ‘thing’ to Ponyville?”
“That is ‘Mr.’ Discord to you!”
“Don’t push it”
“Fine fine!”
Discord, satisfied with Dash’s compliance, snapped his fingers, and Rainbow Dash stared at the town below…. nothing happened….
“Where is it!?”
“Well universal teleportation might has given it symptoms of nausea, headache, and a minor case of death”
“IT’S DEAD!?”
“Hey! I am 49% - ish sure it survived! Don’t you have faith in me!?”
“Why did you not tell me! How am supposed to-”
Suddenly a sound of… music could be heard getting louder from the ground, and the two arguers looked down in curiosity at what was causing such a sound so, COOL!
Both their eyes widened in awe as the most CHILL and COOL being was walking down the market of Ponyville like he owned the place. Thy floated down closer to witness what this thing was doing.
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Cool Guy was have a chill day, well not as chill as he wanted it to be, ever since his killing of Mr. Funk no one could rival his coolness by even a fraction. He needed to awe someone or something different with his own coolness.
Many times the entire population of Earth wanted to make him president of the world for his contributions of coolness to it, but he promptly refused every time, wanting something different than even such a title as that.
While doing his swagger down the streets of a local Californian neighborhood, with less chill than normal, he recoiled at the bright while portal that suddenly appeared in front of him. Without hesitating a moment, he swaggered through that portal, knowing it was his cool destiny to do so….
as Cool Guy.
The last thing he heard, was one lone man staring in shock and sadness at the departure of his hero, “Why Cool Guy? Where are you going? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?”
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Productive, yet bored, citizens of Ponyville in the market could only groan at the lack of surprise or excitement in their lives, even the CMC on the weekend had absolutely no ideas to get their cutie marks as they just laid in the grass like slugs, eyes half-lidded.
The Mane Six, besides a certain cyan pegasus, were currently were doing their normal day-to-day activities with no spunk in them:
Rarity was finishing the last of the ordered clothing with less passion in her crafting. Pinkie Pie, with no birthday parties or any holidays for the entire week ahead of her signed as she sat at the cash register of the Cake’s shop. Fluttershy, even with her appreciation of peaceful times with no evil villains, wished also for anything to happen, as all she had to do for awhile was to shop for her animals. Applejack, with her stand up, had drastically less of a pip in her step when greeting customers. Finally, the new princess of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle, could only dream of paperwork and political meetings, as she was reading the current novel she had, for the sixth time that day on a bench, with her assistant leaning on said bench groaning in mock agony.
It seemed as if this torture would continue, if not for the cool presence that flashed right before them, in the middle of the market, all eyes staring at the strange biped in all its glory.
There were many different reactions from the ponies currently frozen in place: shock, fear, interest, excitement, curiosity, but the number one thought on all the ponies, and dragon, in the market was present,
So… cool
As if time itself un-paused itself from the shock, the sound of a drink falling from a magical grasp and spilled over the grassy ground. The mare who dropped it, Lyra, stood up, with no trouble balancing on her back legs in a bipedal fashion, pointed to the masked creature and said:
“It’s Cool Guy! Hello Cool Guy!”
The ‘Cool Guy’, as named by the swooning fan-mare, finally moved after hearing this, with the speed of cool, pointed at all the staring ponies, and swaggered down the streets of Ponyville, with one hand in the air and another at his crotch.
As if the cool messiah knew what to do to bring cool to this bored town, he walked with extreme coolness throughout the market, using his cool powers by pointing at the locals, projecting his coolness one-by-one at them, and conducting crazy moves around the town in flashes.
Everyone of them pointed back with as much vigor, even Fluttershy and her shyness with strangers and strange creatures, did not hesitant to point back with her hoof as she walked with the swagger in her step with Cool Guy.
The CMC cheered out, “Cutie Mark Crusaders Coolness Followers! Yay!”
and they proceeded to make exaggerated hoof-gestures throughout the market, swinging their heads in tune to the rhythm produced by the Cool Guy.
With appreciation for this praise, once in a while Cool Guy will stand still with his hands up as he allowed the various mares and stallions to rub themselves against their savior, moaning in ecstasy.
Not even the emotionally stoic Big Mac was powerful enough to resist such seductive temptation as he entered in the glorious embrace of cool.
In the distance, one mare was able to control herself to join the merriment, as she had to force her assistant to stay put.
“Come on Twilight! I have to take partake in his coolness!”
“Spike I understand! But you have to send this letter Celestia to inform her of such a grand event!”
Twilight then scratched the rest of the letter in slight rush, and Spike immediately made it vanish into gray smoke. Instantly the two rushed out to the cool that is Cool Guy, as whatever worries they had disappeared with the letter.
