Y'know, it's funny how shit works; one minute I'm happily toking after a hard day, the next I get a knock at my door; about a week ago I was informed I am to be a host family for Rainbow Dash; a sky blue, rainbow haired Equestrian girl who eats all of my food. On a side note, how the hell does she stay in such good shape? I quietly ponder, opening my eyes for the first time today. Instinctively, I grab my iPhone off of it's charger, and check the time; 6:30 A.M. "Ughhh" I audibly groan, looking outside and confirming I woke before the Sun. I need to start breakfast or I'm going to be late...Wait, since when did I care about th-
"Yo, Hunter wake up and make me breakfast! And hurry up, I'm still really tired!", Dash whines, barging into my room unannounced.
I sit up, still in a haze from the night before; I passed out after only smoking a bowl... Scratch that, I only took a hit? I look over at my desk, finding a completely full bowl pack. I return my gaze back to RD, only to find her blushing extremely hard and staring at my... "Oh shit!", a light goes off in my head and I realize what she's looking at; my long time enemy, morning wood. Thinking fast, I use my pillow to cover my stiffy, "S-Sorry, Dash I didn't mean to do this, I swear!"
"...", Rainbow can't even form an audible sound, instead she is biting her bottom lip, and is completely frozen in place.
"Yo, Earth to Rainbow Dash?" I wave my hand in front of her eyes, expecting a response. "Dashhhhh? If you don't respond I"ll have to do something drastic!" Still no response. After making sure I was no longer hard, I stand up and put on a pair of jeans. With Dash still stuck in place, I decide to shock her out of that trance. Slowly, I walk over to Dash and press my lips to hers; she puts up no resistance, and allows my tongue entry to her mouth. Wow, didn't think she'd be this easy. Dash's tongue continues to dance with my own for a few seconds, eventually she pulls away.
"WHA- What happened? A-And why are you kissing me?!? Blech, I got loser on my tongue! I might contract your stupidity!" though RD shouts in anger, her cheeks are redder than a tomato and her terrible acting say something else entirely.
"Not my fault you were stuck staring at my dick." I dryly respond, followed by a brief laugh. "Come on, let's get you food so you don't freeze again."
Dash puffs out her cheeks at me, her face still redder than a tomato; obviously still thinking about what just transpired. She silently follows me, although it's a little too close for comfort... "Hey, Dash, any reason why you're following so close this morning?"I calmly ask. No answer. Rainbow slings her arms over my shoulders (the fact that she has to be a good six inches shorter than me adds to the cuteness), and presses tighter up against my back. Step by step, she follows me in complete silence, burying her face in my upper back.
Eventually we reach the kitchen, and Dash wraps her arms around my waist for a brief second before she takes her seat. "Uhh okay, hugs aside, what would you like for breakfast?"
Rainbow has a goofy grin plastered on her face, and she quietly mumbles, "I-If it's n-not too much trouble, some scrambled eggs and yogurt would be an awesome way to start the day."
I flash a cocky grin, "Coming right up, milady." I mockingly bow before her, and continue preparing breakfast. In no time the eggs are done, and I serve the mare what she asked for. I take my seat across from her, a big bowl of Reese's Puffs in front of me.
"S-So, you going to school today?" Dash speaks up.
"Nah, I have conditioning after school again and I don't feel like going. Besides, I got weed to smo-" I catch myself all too late, Rainbow's attention already focused on me.
She cocks an eyebrow and asks, "What to what? You humans are weird if you smoke dandelions and thistles! I mean, I've heard of that tobacco, but not this... This is a new low, even for you!"
Yet, no scolding for cutting class. "Dash, that's not what I'm talking about..." I let out a breath of relief and dead pan.
"Then what are you talking about? As my host family, you have to inform me of all your human customs! Also, I'm hungry again!" Dash proudly beams, holding up her empty plate.
"Okay, first, how the hell do you eat so quick? And second, I'm not telling you what weed is." I lift another spoonful of chocolate-peanut buttery goodness to my mouth.
"Come on! You're such a buzz kill, no wonder you never get laid!," the blue mare laughs, though her anger is still there.
"Quit making it sound like I'm a damn virgin! I get laid sometimes... It's just been a while. And don't mention anything about weed when the Coordinator comes by again, she said she had a surprise for us. I really hope it's a reimbursement check for the six grocery runs I've had to do in the last seven days." I stare at Rainbow for a second; she averts her eyes to the left and whistles innocently.
"W-Well look at the time! I gotta go, umm. go do my morning exercises!" RD says, trying to weasel her way out of helping with the dishes.
Not this time... I go and block the only exit, "Dash, get back to the kitchen."
"Nope!" is the only reply I get before being pushed on my ass. For such a small figure, she's insanely strong... Better go start on those dishes. Might as well set up a prank for Dashie while I'm at it as well...
A mischievous grin worms its way onto my face, and a high pitched, maniacal laugh follows. Oh man, I know exactly what I'm going to do...
