The Post-Breakfast Feud

by Stellafera

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 1798

Pinkie Pie and Rarity argue through lemony narration.

Pinkie Pie and Rarity argue through lemony narration. Now, the only question is, what on earth are they arguing about?

Thanks to MLP Vector Club for the vectors of Rarity and Pinkie Pie in the cover art.

Published 2014-05-28 02:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-28 02:30:02 UTC

The Post-Breakfast Feud

It's a shiny morning in Ponyville. The sun is everywhere, filling most ponies with its happy rays. Too bad there is one certain, prissy exception with a paddle brush.

Ponyville is a lovely place with many considerate ponies in it. Despite how near it is to cultural stars like Canterlot, it still has a sweet little small town charm. Other than that excessively pink creature residing in the cake shop, who is sweet only in tooth.

This mare believes in the nice stroke, the petting-the-big-dog stroke. This time, when she's mad at Pinkie Pie, she attacks her mane with the killing-the-corgi stroke.

Ms. Pie, as she is called, boasts of her low maintenance mane-style and believes that the quality of her mood will be reflected in her balloon-esque curls. This is demonstrated through the knocked-over can of Rarity's volumizing spray on the bathroom counter at Sugarcube Corner.

Somepony named Rarity forgot to moisturize. Moisturizing is one of her core beauty rules unless she feels insulted. Why, then Rarity won't let anything stand in her way. Her way with a super stressed out her.

Ms. Diane Pie is wasteful in her application of the spray, consuming almost the entire bottle of expensive hair product.

Rarity sure is concerned about the foundation, though. She cakes it on because looking pretty is much more important to her than not having her skin rot off.

After concluding work on her mane, Ms. Pie slams both the flooring and painted wooden door with a bounce as she leaves for Fluttershy's cottage. Presumably Ms. Pie plans to jabber at her patient friend about streamers or something.

Actually, it's not just the core of the facial care stuff that's all seedy and full of arsenic. Rarity trots out of Carousel Boutique to selflessly dump her biased complaints onto poor old Fluttershy. The punchline; she's the spirit of Generosity!

Blissfully, Fluttershy does not as of yet realize that she is about to be grilled by the famously unrelenting, hard-boiled mascot for good humor, but she will soon know the face of despotism.

Wait, wait, it gets even funnier. In classic comedic fashion, Pinkie Pie and Rarity oh so happen to bump into each other right in front of Flutter's house, which by the Pinkie Forecast reads mostly shenanigans with a high chance of antics. Wait, just kidding, Rarity wants this to be a drama, so no more laughs. Them forecasters...

If she cannot respect her friend Rarity when it comes to high-class events, can Ms. Pie manage to treat the time of her friend Fluttershy seriously? Apparently not.

Twilight Sparkle shared a quote with Rarity the other day. It was about insanity, but with a few slight alterations it is perfect for today's situation. The quote read, "Insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result". Ms. Pie is not insane, but she certainly doesn't learn from her errors. Besides, does a voice who somehow believes that Rarity would use arsenic to freshen up her face deserve to be heard?

Rarity spits out a lot of words to make herself sound smart so that she can treat Pinkie Pie like a filly. She doesn't want to have a grown-up debate so she makes the pony she disagrees with into a baby.

Ms. Pie resorts to argumentum ad equum.

She also thinks that Pinkie Pie doesn't understand foreign languages and doesn't know that that means "argument at the pony".

Ms. Pie really wants to thoroughly dig into her attempts at derailing the argument after Rarity points out a fallacy in hopes of moving away from the personal attacks.

Rarity isn't helping.

Pinkie Pie isn't either.

Rarity hears the door open.

Pinkie Pie hears the door open.

"Um."

Fluttershy!

Fluttershy, now Fluttershy can clearly see that-

"Please stop arguing, or I'm not letting you inside."

Rarity follows orders silently...

It is hard to resist temptation to insult Rarity again, but Ms. Pie holds her wits in long enough to walk 3 feet from the doormat into the house.

-For like 3 seconds.

She breaks down soon enough.

Then Rarity begins to rant all about Princess Cadence's party that she ruined.

Ms. Pie starts shouting over Rarity, since waiting for her turn to speak would involve her actually understanding manners.

"I said, I didn't want you arguing!"

Now that was loud.

For once, Ms. Rarity and Ms. Pie are in concert.

"I'm very disappointed in you two. Rarity, go to another room. I am talking to Pinkie Pie first."

Pinkie is really glad that Fluttershy wanted to listen to her side of the story first. Rarity, of course, doesn't notice that.

"Pinkie."

Rarity nastily eavesdrops on Pinkie beginning to spill her guts, or the beans, or her kidney beans because that's a nifty way of doing both. The truth goes like this:

Twilight Sparkle found out last week that "organizing birthday parties of her sister in law" was a royal duty as per a super duper obscure law, but Twi's no good at that, so she consulted the finest party pony in Ponyville to assist her. The first draft of the party was full of fun bouncy things and games, but after Twilight said that it had to be formal, Pinkie Pie was in a pickle.

Pinkie Pie, believing the best in her friends, chose Rarity to help make a few modifications to the celebration. She had no clue in her mind that Rarity's version of helping a pony is gobbling up everything and making it all Raritized. That's what evil books are for. Enough of that, though. According to a trusted draconic source, they give indigestion.

-Did you know that Rarity can do a pony's cutie mark talent better than them if it involves her being famous? She made almost all of her party supplies before Pinkie even asked, first of all, so that she could take over whenever she wanted to. After fancifying the party, she could become more high class and sip wine from glasses that only fancy ponies can use without spilling over. Quite the clever scheme until it went all pineapple shaped.

Even at the party, when Pinkie Pie or anypony else tried to be silly and a little out of the box, she shut them down. Everypony had to act all high society, not just be surrounded by it. Who needs more than two forks for a b-day; one for the first course, and one for the cake course? Sometimes Pinkie Pie likes to leave out the forks and just dive into the cake. See, that's fun. Rarity just made everypony miserable and took advantage of a friend in need.

That's why Pinkie Pie is so mad at her.

"Thank you, that was good... Now I want to hear Rarity's side."

Ms. Pie overhears this story due to the walls being very thin. She had completed her own side of the story, but neglected or was unaware of many aspects. Such as:

Twilight Sparkle had approached Rarity with a frightful expression, as the party planning was near deadline and Ms. Pie designed a party that, while inventive and lively, was an utter faux pas in the company that Princess Cadence was going to be in, and begged that Rarity get involved. Since the latter's schedule was very busy later in the week already, she began the work on the preliminary pieces of the celebration. Of course, she'd make a few changes with Ms. Pie's fun-loving guidance, but it didn't hurt to already have something to present to the mare.

Ms. Pie, as it turned out, asked her first, more out of necessity than desire. Despite begging for her friend's help, her prompt response to Rarity's designs was disgust. She snorted that it was intended to be a party, that Rarity's plans were "Oh so totally NOT what I wanted!", and in all but words declared that she did not in any way want to work with Rarity if it meant compromise, so Rarity had no choice but to make the rest of it without Ms. Pie's input.

Even at the party itself, Pinkie Pie chose to remain bitter. Her obnoxious attempts at returning the event to her original plans soured it for everypony attending, and indeed the party became a minor public relations scandal.

In conclusion, Ms. Pie's actions were selfish and childish, and that is why Rarity is so upset with her.

"Pinkie Pie, you can come back in now. Now that I have heard both sides of the story, I'll give them each to you and ask you what you think about that."

Something about laying it all out and kinda-on-purpose listening to Pinkie's side made Rarity open her mind about it all. She didn't really believe her words by the end, anyways.

Ms. Pie... no, Pinkie Pie gently opened and closed a delicate wooden door with the mist of contemplation. Then she did something that nopony expected; she took blame for eavesdropping on what Rarity said.

Rarity didn't want Pinkie Pie to take all the blame, so she confessed too, and was surprised by Fluttershy's smile.

"I thought that would happen. There's often little insects who want to live in my home and don't realize that sleeping in the walls is not okay, so they are so worn down that you can hear almost anything through them. Hearing the arguments from each other makes them stronger, I think, but you wouldn't really listen if you were in the same room, so that's what I did."

Fluttershy is one tricky rascal.

Although she may seem timid at first, Fluttershy's friends know her as a shrewd negotiator.

So, the twist was that Rarity was just trying to help all along.

To return to the thrust of the story, Pinkie Pie, in fact, is a smart mare with a keen eye for partying.

Of course, maaaaybe Rarity could've let Pinkie Pie add her own touches to the event.

And perhaaaps Pinkie Pie could have also realized that a celebration for a government official required a different tone than Rainbow Dash's bash at Ponyville...

Overall, Pinkie Pie can kinda see the point of where Rarity was getting at, though.

There is no such thing as perfection, and this is true for Pinkie Pie and Rarity. It is much more valuable to acknowledge mistakes rather than lose friendships over them, however, and losing your head is even worse. Thanks to a caring friend like Fluttershy, these mares were able to see that.

"No offense, but aren't you two forgetting something?"

They still, however, totally screwed up Princess Cadence's party.

Indeed, they will have to find some means of rectifying that situation.

Pinkie Pie and Rarity should totally plan a second birthday party TOGETHER to fix the last one!

No.