Alts - Start Anew

by Flint Sparks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 3103

Rainbow Dash is doing what Rainbow Dash does best, second to flying and third to pranking, and that happens to be taking a nap. Unfortunately, her old bragging line, "I could do a Sonic Rainboom in my sleep!" turns out to be true when Rainbow Dash, lo behold, does a Sonic Rainboom in her sleep.

Oh, and she somehow splits into fragments of herself. That's probably important.

Read the next in the series!
Red!
Orange!
Yellow!
Green!
Blue!
Indigo!
Violet!
Black!
White!
Rainbow!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-13 02:23:26 UTC

It begins

“Oh Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy whispered as her cheeks gradually turned pink. Her wings fluttered at her sides as she resisted the urge to fan them out and pounce her one true love. Cyan orbs stared into her blue eyes, staring into her soul. “I… I feel the same way!”

Sunlight, trickling into Fluttershy’s bedroom, dimmed as a convenient cloud passed by. The romantic lightning gave the shy Fluttershy the courage she needed.

Fluttershy closed her eyes as she puckered her lips, waiting for the cool sensation of cyan fur brush against her cheeks. She turned her head and felt her lips interlock with Rainbow’s; she moaned and loosened her jaw, wings stiffening, and—

“Hey Fluttershy, what are you doing?” a voice asked from her windowsill. Fluttershy squeaked and shoved her Rainbow Dash doll™ under the bed as she turned to face the real Rainbow Dash, currently touching down beside her.

“Uh… nothing!” Fluttershy scooted back, using her body to shield the doll from sight. “So, uh, Rainbow Dash? Did you see anything?”

“Nope.” Rainbow Dash shook her head and frowned. “I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again.”

Fluttershy squeaked.

Rainbow trotted back to the window and opened the blinds, drawing the sunlight in. She rested her forelegs on the windowsill and stared up at the clear, blue sky. “You know, it’s beautiful outside… too beautiful.” She turned back to Fluttershy and narrowed her eyes. “I think you would know a thing or two about that.

Fluttershy blushed as her heart hammered in her chest. Can it… can it be? Is this really happening? “Oh Rainbow Dash… I didn’t know you felt the same way.”

“Well, of course!” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof as she averted her eyes. “We’ve known each other since, like, forever! You know, I know, we all know… Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty obvious.”

“Oh you…” Fluttershy chuckled. She raised her eyes from the ground as Rainbow Dash returned her gaze to her. The two stared into each other’s eyes, their souls singing to each other. “Maybe… maybe we should…” she said as her cheeks burned.

“Take it to the next level?”

Fluttershy nodded, slowly. She crept forward, leaned forward, and tilted her head…

“Great!” Rainbow Dash pounded a hoof on her other hoof. “I’ve always wanted to prank Rarity with you! Think you can sneak some itching powder into the spa?”

Fluttershy jolted and blinked. “Uh, um, excuse me?”

“What.”

Fluttershy frowned and cocked her head. “T-the next level?”

“Yeah! Remember that stuff about too hot and stuff? Rarity is soooooo obnoxious about it!” Rainbow Dash complained as she walked circles around Fluttershy. “Yeah, like, I get she’s crazy hot, but she’s, like, too hot! You get me?” Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy and waited for a response.

“...”

“Fluttershy, why are you pulling out a butterfly net?”

“Ugh…” Rainbow Dash groaned as her consciousness surfaced from the waters of oblivion. Feeling the sensation of soft cloud underneath her, she rolled over and picked herself up with aching limbs. The bright light blinded her, forcing her to blink until her eyes adjusted.

“Where… Where am I?” Rainbow Dash shook her head and took in the sight before her: an endless sea of clouds and a single, massive rainbow overhead. The twilight sky above her sparkled with a single constellation of stars that formed… a star.

The cloud she stood on, approximately the size of Pinkie Pie after hitting the all-you-can’t-eat-buffet on a Sunday night, shifted as something landed behind her. Rainbow Dash whipped around, preparing for a fight, only to be booped on the nose.

“Well hello!” a screechy voice greeted. Rainbow Dash reared back as she took in the sight of tiny gremlin-like creature dressed in green clothing waving at her. “Fancy seeing a little winter-snapper like you up in these skies!”

“Winter-snapper?” Rainbow Dash said, cocking her head. She raised an eyebrow as she asked, “What are you, anyway?”

The little gremlin waved his hand and chuckled. “Oh, me? I’m a leprechaun, lassie! And this—” he waved to the cloudlands before them “—is where I hid me pot of gold, you see!”

“Oh cool, gold,” Rainbow Dash said as she inspected a hoof, wondering how in Equestria she had even arrived in such an odd place. She put her hoof down and began looking over the edge of the cloud. “So, uh, know the way back to Ponyville?”

The leprechaun gawked. A moment later, or more appropriately five minutes as Rainbow Dash bit her tongue and wondered if she had broken the poor creature, the leprechaun shook his head. “But… you don’t want me pot of gold, lassie? You aren’t here to steal muh gold coins?”

“Uh, nope?”

The leprechaun shook his head, puffed out his chest, and smiled with brown teeth. “Well, lassie, aren’t you the generous one!”

“No, that’s Rarity’s thing—”

“So how about I give you the next best thing?” the leprechaun asked, snapping his fingers for emphasis. “A free wish for a gentle, honest, generous lass.”

“I’m not—Wait, did you say a free wish?” Rainbow grinned as she leaned down, bringing her eyes level to the leprechaun. “What kind of wish?”

The leprechaun leaned forward, touching his nose to her snout, and grinned a grin grinnier than her grin. “Any wish.”

Well… Rainbow Dash’s thoughts begin to spiral through all the possibilities. I could totally wish to be a Wonderbolt, but I’m already the fastest in Equestria. It’s only a matter of time, so it’d be a complete waste of a wish for whatever I want. Hm… what would Twilight wish for?

Images of her friends flickered through her mind. Rainbow stomped her hoof as it came to her. Of course! DUH!

“Okay, I got a wish for you,” Rainbow Dash said as she stood up and puffed out her chest. “Since I’m already going to be the fastest, richest, and famous-est, I have a better idea! I wish that I could, er… how do I put this?” Rainbow rubbed her chin.

“What do you mean, lassie?” The leprechaun scratched his beard, grabbed a random cheeto that fell out, and ate it. “You already have the athletic build. Do you wish to be the best fibber in all the land? All the stallions… or whatever you’re into? Or…” The leprechaun lowered his hand and smirked. “I see… you aren’t the brightest shamrock in the patch, are you lassie?”

“Er, uh, no?” Rainbow Dash scratched her mane. “Well, that would be cool and all, but I already have Twilight to do the egghead stuff. I meant more like… well, you see I’m totally cool and awesome, but so are my friends! Just… less cool and awesome, and I don’t get it. Like, I wish I could just ‘get’ them for once, and they’d get me too. ‘Cause they’re pretty weird and stuff.”

“Tsk, lassie. Seems like you have the emotional range of a teaspoon,” the leprechaun said as he pulled out a bubble pipe. “Why don’t we… open you up a bit?”

“Yeah, sure!”

The leprechaun raised his hand and snapped his fingers. A bright light exploded behind him.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened as the single constellation in the sky fell apart, each star falling toward… her. The vast rainbow above her dissolved as the stars passed by, each stealing a single strip of its own, before looping above and falling once more. Feeling the intense heat of imminent impact, Rainbow Dash shut her eyes.

It suddenly occurred to her that Fluttershy was kinda hot.

Red

“Please, stop!”

Whack!

“I-I’m s-sorr—”

Whack! Whack!

“I’ll do a-anythi—”

Whack!

“I don’t care!” Rainbow—or more accurately, “Scarlet” to suit her coat of luminious red—Dash barked as she punched, yet again, the face of the stallion underneath her. “I’m in a bad mood, and you looked at me funny. In my opinion, that’s enough.

Filthy Rich stared up at her, deadpan. “What does that have to do with any—”

Whack!

“Shut up! Your talking annoys me!” Scarlet smiled wide as she raised her hoof again. Ever since the separation she had been feeling unsatisfied. There was so much that disinterested her, and she only felt alive during a good fight. Unfortunately, Scarlet had been unable to find a single pony in all of Ponyville that could challenge her. At this point she was starting to contemplate murder just to get the royal guard to come and put her down. Then again, they don’t really have a track record of being worth a damn.

“About time this dive got somepony interesting.” Scarlet perked her head up, her grin fading slightly. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. Like an echo from the past reaching into the present, or some other bullshit like that. Scarlet looked behind her and smirked when she saw her old friend.

With a final stomp into Filthy Rich’s kidneys, Scarlet said, “Hey G. How’s it hangin’?”

Gilda raised an eyebrow. “Well that sucks. Here I thought I met somepony who could possibly compare to how cool I am, and you turn out to just be some weird stalker? Lame!” Gilda started walking past the red mare before the pegasi’s blood red tail smacked her in the face.

Putting her face only inches away from the annoying red mare, Gilda said “You trying  to start something, punk?”

Scarlet cocked an eyebrow before slamming her forehead into Gilda’s forehead. “That’s for calling me some fangirl you bitch. And this,” Scarlet said while jumping on Gilda’s tail, “is for not recognizing me.”

Gilda whipped around with her wings at full extension. Before she could scream though, Scarlet stated, “I know our senior year of Junior Speedsters was raunchy, but not enough to get a wingboner upon seeing each other.” Scarlet danced away as Gilda crashed onto the stones under hoof, the scraping of the claws getting Scarlet to grit her teeth.

“Who are you?” Gilda huffed as she glared at the red pegasi. She had to admit there was something strangely familiar to her. However, it didn’t really matter. Gilda was going to make the twat pay regardless.

Scarlet sighed as she leaned against a wall. “You know, fuck you G. After the last time we saw each other, I should be the one forgetting your name. Especially since I’m only supposed to see you when I decide not to be lame. I should kick your ass just for that.”

Gilda furrowed her brows. The lines sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite- “Rainbow Dash?” Gilda said with a shocked tone.

Scarlet let out a sigh as she grit her teeth. “Yeah. Though that name doesn’t quite fit anymore. Besides, Scarlet is far more awesome.”

“Can’t say I complain, even if you’ve turned into a stone cold bitch.”

“Like you?” The two laughed as they also glared at each other. “So what brings you into this weak ass town G? Here to hit on a few mares?”

Gilda put a claw around Scarlet’s throat, growling at her. “I wouldn’t do that G. Remember what I did last time you put our heads together? Don’t think I won’t do it again. I like the pain.”

Gilda huffed as she dropped Rainbow. “Fuck you. You know my filly foolin’ is a secret. Besides, I’m here to get some supplies before I get flying to the Crystal Empire. I get to be an alternate for the team there.” Gilda smirked as she turned her head up at Scarlet.

“Sounds like you’re on bottom as always then.” Scarlet watched as Gilda scowled deeply, unable to stop from chuckling as she felt herself get excited. Yeah, get angry. I can’t wait.

Gilda snarled, “What do you mean on bottom?”

“In sex, or in competition?” Scarlet chuckled as Gilda’s veins could be seen in her eyes. “Don’t pop a blood vessel G, I get what you mean. You might be an alternate for the games, but just like in Junior Speedsters’ tests, getting mares, and even now, I beat you because I am main string for my team.”

Gilda huffed, steam coming out of her mouth. “Come on Rainbow, why don’t we blow this town, go for a flight? I would rather not have to kick your ass right after you became cool.” Gilda put on a forced smile as Scarlet started to laugh uncontrollably.

“Oh, is someone getting too excited? Careful G, you don’t want anypony to see your di-”

“Craaaaw!” Gilda slammed into Scarlet, crashing down the street as they tumbled along. Scarlet had already been ready, and went from bundled in her wings to full extension, her hooves coming up into Gilda’s beak.

“Now this is more like it!” Scarlet took to a low flight, passing through the legs of other ponies. After she heard Gilda slice the paving stones behind her, Scarlet yelled, “Miss me, miss me, now ya gotta kiss me!” Scarlet let out a long peel of laughter as she slammed into the doors to Sugarcube Corner and stood behind them, ready to attack the moment they reopened.

Gilda started climbing further into the skies, shouting back, “I’m gonna keep you to that!” Gilda paused for a moment at the top of her ascent, smiling to herself as she thought about how similar this was to the good old days. Maybe even have a shot at getting Scarlet to go out with me now? Of course, first I have to win. Gilda took one last breath before she put herself into a tight knit spin, claws forward, and crashed through the door. Gilda slammed Scarlett onto the ground, one claw firmly choking out the red mare, the other raised threatenly.

“Now about that kiss?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Gilda was shocked, and for a moment let up on the crushing force she had on Scarlet. Scarlet smiled, but then shifted, allowing one of her wings to spring out from under her, right into Gilda’s eye. “Augh!”

Scarlet felt the grip almost come off and twisted her body, bringing her other wing out as her hooves met the floor. The wing smacked Gilda off, but the griffin was quickly sent stumbling back the other way as Scarlet jumped and swiped her with a hoof before landing on a table.

Crack

Scarlet fell to the ground as the table’s leg broke and the whole thing came down. Gilda sliced through the table just as Scarlet was recovering, blood covering her claw as the red mares wing got sliced open. Gilda whipped her tail around and grabbed one of Scarlet’s back hooves, pulling her back down to the floor. “You’re not going anywhere. I still have a kiss to get.” Gilda pulled Scarlet closer, but the red mare only allowed the griffin to kiss her hoof. Gilda responded in kind by punching Scarlet across the room.

Scarlet glanced next to her at the open door, and then back at the space between her and Gilda. “Catch me if you can.” Scarlet’s wings opened, blood splattering the nearby ponies, and she shot off through the entrance. Gilda grinned as she took off after her.

“You know, you’ve done a pretty good job at keeping up to me. I mean in fighting, not speed of course.” Scarlet dodged around the town hall, giggling as Gilda crashed into a flagpole. “I guess you’ve let your agility slip too.”

“Scarlet, you shouldn’t keep flying!” Gilda continued to chase Scarlet, wiping away occasionally the droplets of blood that got onto her feathers.

“It is pretty rare to find a mare that fights as well as you. Hey G, you still got the hots for me?” Scarlet switched directions and stuck her tongue out as she passed Gilda.

“Of course I do! Why do you think I need to put you down before you do something stupid.” Gilda almost slammed down onto Scarlet as she stopped on top of her house.

“Hm, now that I think about it, you are pretty cool. Not only that, but you are fairly pretty. You know what, I could always use someone to bandage my wounds, or,” Scarlet said with a sultry tone added, “make them.”

Gilda stopped flying as Scarlet started to pick up altitude. ”You need to stop. As much as I like you thinking of us being together, it’s not gonna happen if you end up making yourself lame. And I don’t mean that as I normally do.”

Scarlet rolled her eyes as she stopped flying upwards and copied Gilda’s death spiral. Scarlet whispered to herself, “But then I wouldn’t be able to show you the proper respect my girlfriend deserves.”

Scarlet changed directions for only a moment, not losing any momentum as she dodged Gilda’s claws and put in the final wingbeat for her sonic rageboom. One, two, three, four, five. Six! With each hit Scarlet made one point of a star starting from the top. Blood rained down on the ponies below as they watched in horror, and when Scarlet got back to the top for her sixth blow, she tackled Gilda and herself the last 50 feet into the roof of the Ponyville Hospital, splitting the star in half. Scarlet felt the pain, felt her body warn her, but to her it wasn’t a warning. It was absolute bliss, a sign of a good fight.

Scarlet stood up, splinters of wood sprinkling on her back, the area filled with a red haze. Nurse ponies were standing around staring at the two wounded friends. Blood was gurgling in Gilda’s mouth, and her wings were heavily lacerated from crashing through the ceiling. Scarlet felt the trickle of her own blood down her right side, the wing having almost been ripped apart due to stress. Scarlet looked around at the staff and snarled at them, “What are you waiting for? Don’t you see we need help?”

The staff nodded and doctors started calling for different pieces of medical equipment and for more nurses to come and help clean up the mess. Scarlet bent down to Gilda’s ear, smirking, even though the impact was catching up to her as well and filling her mouth with blood. “Friday, seven o’clock. If you’re late, I finish the job. Blink twice for yes.”

Gilda blinked once, looking into the bloodshot eyes, the almost crazy grin, and the beautiful red hair. I’m going to die. I’m totally going to die in this relationship. However, worth it if it means being in the coolest relationship ever. Gilda blinked again, and Scarlet nuzzled her muzzle against Gilda’s beak before softly saying, “There’s your kiss, and thanks for the fight.”