The Devil in Me

by Sleep Sonata

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Nightmare Moon, Tragedy
Length: 10752

Mine is not the lesser light. I am not subordinate, and I am not her sister.

Sombra may have had a point. I do live in my sister's shadow. Does she deserve such praise. It was I after all who defeated Sombra, and she could not have possibly defeated Discord on her own. I am her equal if nothing else. So why does she recieve praise and adoration, and I neglect?

Make sure you see Fall of the Crystal Empire before reading.

Cover Art

Published 2014-05-28 03:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-19 15:41:25 UTC

Seize the Day

“Well, that went over better than I had anticipated.” Celestia said slumping in her bed, exhausted after the days events. “I didn't suspect ponies to go back to their lives so quickly. You’d think losing an entire portion of Equestria would cause more of a commotion.”

I stood, slumped against the frame at the entrance to my sister’s chambers. “They surprised me as well, but I suppose it’s understandable. Few of our subjects, have ever seen any of the Crystal Empire ponies; or their exports, let alone been to the empire itself.”

“I suppose. Still, we need to find them. Come morning we shall dispatch search parties to the north.” I was ready to agree and depart, but then an idea occurred to me.

“Sister, why not begin the search now?” Celestia turned to face me, looking quizzical.

“Luna, you've just begun the night. How can expect our guards to search in the darkness?”

“I had planned on sending my thestrals out for a preliminary search. Maybe we could…” With a wave of her hoof, she cut me off. Mid sentence, without warning.

“Sister, I appreciate your offer, but I can not send your thestrals as our search.”

Where would I have begun? Denying me, her own sister, the right to utilize her night for the sake of the Crystal Empire?! I would snapped back had she not resumed. “Given their history, I would not trust them to leave Equestria unsupervised. I do not wish a repeat of Nocturna.”

Deep breaths. If I was to convince her to allow my thestrals to act on her behalf, I needed to collect myself. I donned a calmer complexion. “You can have my word that they will remain obedient. Besides, if we rotate the search parties between night and day, we will maximize their effectiveness.”

“I’m still concerned. How can you be sure they will remain obedient?”

Can I be sure they will remain obedient. Does she really not trust me? “Tia, they are groomed from birth to be soldiers. Every filly and colt.”

“I’m still reserved on using them. We will defer this until tomorrow.”

“Celestia please. Can you not trust me this one time? I have always trusted you….why do you insist on...”

“I said no, Luna. Good Night.” Again she cuts me off, and she has resigned to her slumber. I decide to depart, before my temper gets the better of me.

Atop the castle turrets, one can observe much of Equestria. The vistas are especially beautiful during my night. The rivers that merely flow during the day, now sparkle and glisten in my moonlight. The lanterns that dot the landscape are mirrored by the stars embedded in the sky. I take great care in the constellations, seeing as they are what seem to attract the ponies that do stay awake to enjoy the cool night air.

Still, I can not get the day’s events out of my head. I was the one who defeated Sombra, and it was I who saved Celestia was hindered with dark magic, and yet….yet, she still refuses my help in the search. Why does Celestia distrust me so? Why does she not want my help?

Had it not been for the breeze bringing cool air, my blood would have boiled. I had expressed anger before, even towards my sister, but it was fleeting. But this was different. She refused to let me use my night for a great good, for no other reason than she distrusted my soldiers. Why, because they thestrals? Because they were nocturnal? Try as I might, I could not make sense of my sister’s logic. She simply had none.

“Poor thing. How do you live with yourself knowing you’re always under her hoof.” The voice appeared as if out of nowhere. I searched frantically, whipping my head in a vain attempt to discover my tormentor.

“Show thyself! Your princess commands you!”

The voice only cackled and I whipped my head around, becoming more and more frantic with each second.

A twinge of pain strikes through my head, making me flinch and stumble to my knees. I brace myself on the birdbath by the railing, but when I saw my reflection in the pool, it the face I saw was not my own.

“Luna, if that is how you feel towards your own kin….Then I do understand why Celestia detests you, she must feel the hatred you have for her deep in your bones.” The face was speaking to me, revealing her fangs as she did so. “But I know you better than that. You obviously care more about everyone than she does.”

It takes more than these simple ‘jump scares’ to terrify the princess of the night, but I was shaking at the sight of this mare. She bore armor, cat like eyes, and fangs which seemed more fit for a bat. And this was my reflection. Could she be…?

“Oh don’t be scared of me, my dear. I don’t bite.” Her sarcasm did nothing to ease my fear. I could not let her control me.
“W-Who are you? Explain thyself, fiend!”

The voice laughed again and I snapped my head back towards the sky. I tried very hard not to show any fear,but it was very difficult.

My outburst elicited only a tsk tsk.. “No need to be so formal. We are very familiar with each other.”

“I know no mare who seems so grotesque as yourself.”

“Oh Luna, why so rude? Is it because of what Celestia said to you?”

She could not have possibly known about our conversation. We were alone.

“What are you talking about?” I must have had a pained expression on my face, because the voice laughed again; this time the laughter sent chills down my spine.

“I was there dear. I felt everything you did, every pulse of hatred, every jolt as she told you how she distrusted your soldiers.”

She was there! But how? If anypony else had entered Celestia’s chambers, one of us would have noticed. “How do know of our dealings!? Where did you hide?!”

She let out a genuine laugh, which only added to my frustration.

“Oh I wasn't hiding. Celestia could see me plain and clear.” I raised a brow. She would not speak plainly. “I am you, Luna. And you are me. We are closer than any mistrusting, non-loving, sister.”

That was enough. in a fit, I swung my hoof, and toppled the bird bath onto the floor. My heart was racing, and I couldn't see. I did not realize that this was the magic that the voice seemed to posses.

One of the thestral guards came into my room, weapon at the ready. “Princess, we heard a crash. Are you alright?”

I was as startled by them as I was by the reflection. I composed myself, so as not to arouse their fears. “Yes, your princess is fine. There is nothing in here to investigate.” With that, they departed for the door.

She is me, and I am her. Closer than any sister. These words are poisonous. I need to rest to dispel them from my mind. I could afford to miss this one night.

In the midst of my slumber, I was blinded through the cracks in my eyes by sister’s sun. It was startling at best, painful at it’s worst. I fought the urge to cover my eyes, but instead threw the blanket over to shield myself. Is this how normal ponies greet the day? What a horrible way to begin every single day.

Eventually, I gathered enough courage to slip out of bed, and continue my efforts from the previous night. Celestia was tired yesterday, and just wanted to retreat to her sleep, rather than deal with the empire. Now, after a full night’s rest, she’ll be much more reasonable.

I made my way to the bath, about to make myself presentable to world. As I was about to open the door, I froze, dead in my tracks. I had every intention of going in that room, but my body was stiff, steadfastly refusing to obey my will. Why? Why couldn't I bring myself to enter the bath?

I remembered that night, and the awful nightmare I’d had. Was I too scared to see my reflection, lest it show that horrible hag again? No, that was foolish. That was but a delusion in my exhaustion. She wasn't real, and I had nothing to fear.

I threw the door open, and was immediately confronted with the mirror. I still stood still, not taking another step while locked in gaze with myself. And that was all. It was my normal face. Same eyes, ears, and mane that I was born with. Nothing unusual or evil about me. Such a silly thing to have fretted about.

As I exited my own room, I could see Celestia leaving hers at the same time, though she look much less prepared to take on the day. Her mane was less and mane than a collection of colors flowing whichever way they pleased, and her eyes stared straight ahead, fixated on nothing in particular. In front of her floated a cup of what I assumed was tea. I would have recommended coffee for her condition. “Good morning, sister! A busy day awaits us!”

“Mph.” At least, that’s what I thought she said. I doubt she could fully know what she was saying. She kept sipping her tea, erstwhile I snuck off to take on the day. How odd I should be the one so eager to put sunlight to use.

In the throne room, I found myself in the company in the company of Celestia’s military advisers, all of whom look somewhat puzzled by my arrival. “A good morning to you, your majesty. Do you the whereabouts of Princess Celestia?” General Firefly spoke up. His question was valid.

“My sister is still recovering from the events of yesterday. She will be with us when she is willing and able.” They understood. I myself didn’t know for certain when Celestia would be coming to the throne room. She looked quite fatigued, so I thought it safe to take on her duties in the meantime.

As I took my place on my throne, the general presented me with a map of Equestria, now complete with a barren northern border. The area where the Crystal Empire had been was covered up with several pieces of parchment. It would have to do until the cartographers could update the maps.

“Princess, we have readied scouts to search the northern tundra for any signs of the empire. They've been given orders to scour for any signs, magic or not, day and night, as to the whereabouts of the empire. We need only your word to send them on their way.” The general’s plan did meet with my approval. However…

“Send them on their way. However, inform them that they need not trouble themselves with nighttime searches. I will send my thestrals to take on that task.” My remarks were received with puzzled looks from the officers. It reminded me of the unpleasant talk I’d had with my sister.

“Princess, I mean no disrespect, but are you sure they can be trusted in such a remote part of Equestria? They will be many days communications away.”

“You needn't trouble yourself with those thoughts, general. You have my assurances that the Thestrals will be diligent and thorough in their search.”

The look I received was not one of assuaged concerns. “I do not doubt their abilities. But I cannot help but wonder what would happen if they were to start another nation. If our history has taught us anything, it’s that their ventures always result in suffering.”

These fools too? How dare they! Oh well. They can not disobey a princess. “I understand where fears come from, but I am here to tell you that they are unfounded. You may send your scouts out at once, and inform them of the thestral’s involvement.”

“How does Celestia feel about this plan?”

“Must my sister approve of every action that occurs in our nation? Send them.”

With a bow, they departed on their mission, and I was left to congratulate myself for taking initiative on such an important. Celestia will see, she’ll understand. With her ponies working the day, and mine the night, the Crystal Empire will return by Hearth’s Warming.

Best Laid Plans

Responsibility can seem like an intimidating prospect. Knowing that any shortcomings in execution can have major repercussions, all of which fall squarely on your shoulders, is certainly a frightening thought. But the rewards can make those risks seem petty. Imagine the expression on my sister’s face we she sees the Crystal Empire return to it’s proper place, and through my own efforts!

Or the citizenry. The joys I will see in Celestia will be nothing compared to their enthusiasm! They will be able to see all of the cultural heritage in the empire, and be able to taste those sweet crystal berries once more. Maybe there will be a holiday to remember the day. Ponies will attend masquerade balls, giving sweets to the children so that they will always remember what was almost lost forever. All I had to do was make sure the search was successful, and with the ponies working the day, and my thestrals the night, it would take no time at all.

I sat in the throne room beside my sister, listening to the minister of commerce brief us on the economic effects of the empire’s disappearance. The empire had vanished not three days ago, and already thirty percent of merchants lost their income, and that was in Canterlot alone. I could have only guessed what the figure was in other cities.

“Thank you, Minister. We will use what you’ve told us to our utmost ability.” The minister bowed to my sister and I, and left the throne room, along with the rest of those present. His was the last briefing of the day, although it was far from the most cheerful.

General Firefly had informed that the empire had taken roughly two thousand stallions from the army, which meant we would need to divert yet more guards from the southern border to the new frontier, making our line against the changelings that much weaker.

What’s more, we discovered that Sombra had not only taken the Crystal Empire, but it’s most valuable artifact, the crystal heart. The heart had been used in conjunction with the elements of harmony in maintaining Equestria’s balance of magic. Now that it was gone, we needed to find a new way complement the elements, and keep Equestria’s magic stable.

Celestia let out a heavy sigh. Maintaining her composure in these times must have been exhausting. “What news do you have of the search, Luna? I hope it is nothing too distressing.”

“We are sweeping the frontier from east to west, but I have not received any notable reports thus far. Once the frontier is search, we will begin to push north into the tundra.” Her reaction was that of indifference, which I could understand. As long as she didn’t hear anything devastating, she could still rule. “Tia, you've been able to maintain order is Equestria so far. There is no need to worry yourself to the point of exhaustion.”

“Thank you Luna, but I’m more worried about the crystal ponies. Just the fact that we don’t know where they are is the most unsettling part.” She stared out through one of the window frames. The ones that did not have stained glass were left bare, and one could see a good distance off into Equestria. Now, we could see the pegasi moving the show clouds above Canterlot.

“Why don’t you rest, Tia. Winter is coming, which means the nights will be longer, and I’ll be able to take on more duties. You deserve to sleep.” She didn’t speak, but I knew she’d heard me. I saw her move off to her chambers, leaving me alone in the throne room.

She didn’t seem as curious for details as I would have thought. The better for me, since she never wanted to use my thestrals to begin with. In her state, it’s probably best that she didn't.

I felt then that I should relax myself as well. I still had to prepare the stars and touch up fog in certain areas, but I could afford to take a bath before hand. It’s not like anypony would be waiting on me to start the night.

The bath would take a while to draw, so I decided to ready my mane before I got in. I didn't quite feel like drying it before I raise the moon. I looked in the mirror, towel at the ready, but I could not get it into the proper fold. I knew what to do, but for whatever reason, I could not manipulate the towel with my magic. I tried with my hooves, but the longer I tried, the less coordinated I became. Eventually, I was forced to hold myself on my sink, barely able to stand.

“Luna, you don’t look very well. Lying for that long is exhausting, isn't it?” That voice was familiar, but I could not place it with a face. I saw her in the mirror. The witch I saw in my reflection. “Don’t worry. The fatigue will go away shortly. I had to force my way out to see you.”

“Speak clearly, hag! I am no liar!” MY authority did not seem to intimidate her, as it should have. She seemed rather amused.

“We don’t keep secrets, Luna. How can we?”

“I do not keep secrets from my sister.”

“Oh I’m much more to you than a sister.” I was no less confused. “Besides, is Celestia really your sister? I’d say you’re more like a pet to her.”

“Silence!”

“She doesn't even consider the thought of you acting on your own. How can she possibly see you as a princess?”

“Luna!” I was snapped back to reality by my sister’s voice. I whipped my head to face her at the doorway, and just as quickly looked back the mirror, but the witch was gone. “Luna, the water!”

I felt water on my hooves just then, and saw myself surrounded by a puddle of water. I had let the bath overflow! I frantically turned off the faucet, although I’m not sure now what that was supposed to fix. “What happened? Why did you let the bath overflow?”

“Tia, I was...I saw… she...ahh!” I couldn't use my mind, so my body fled into my chambers, slamming the door as I ran. I could hear Celestia call to me, but I ignored her. I curled up in my bed, cradling my throbbing head in my hooves. What was I seeing? “Cursed witch! LEAVE ME BE!”

Author's Note

I wrote this a while ago, but apparently I forgot to upload it. Derp :P

Family Feud

When did I sleep that night? Did I even sleep? I must have, since I’m now waking up. It was anything but peaceful though. I had had the most wretched dream. The hag I’d seen in the bird bath was back, taunting me and trying to turn me on my sister. Thank heavens that nightmare was over.

A rapping on my chamber door brought my mind out of itself and into reality. It must be Celestia, come to remind me of the meeting with General Firefly. I hadn’t forgotten. I was responsible for the search, after all.

“Luna, are you alright?” Am I alright?

“I may be the Princess of the Night, but I am perfectly comfortable operating during the day, Tia.”
She nudged the door, and I could see the concern in her voice was the same as that in in her eyes. “I was just concerned for you after last night.”

“Why sister, I slept as sound as a foal.”

“That must’ve been after you were screaming at that ‘cursed witch’?”

“Oh I may mumble in my sleep, but it was just a dream sister.”

“It wasn’t, Luna. We’ll discuss it later, but we have other matters to discuss before we come to that.” She must have been referring to the General.

I managed to prop myself onto my hooves with a somewhat regal appearance, despite not taking my bath last night... I think. I met Celestia in our common room. She was standing facing the balcony. looking in the direction of the former Crystal Empire.

“I will speak with the General at once about the search. I expect to have made excellent progress since…”

She whipped her head to face me, her empathy gone, and replaced by consternation. “You will not be speaking to General Firefly today.”

“I beg your pardon sister, but I must be briefed on our search progress.”

Her tone hardened, and her volume raised. “You sent your Thestrals out on the search against my wishes!”

Of course I was taken aback. I don’t know how she had found out, probably leaked to her by one of the guard patrols that had bumped into a returning thestral. I could make her see, though. “Calm yourself. The thestrals have allowed us to cover double the area that your guard alone would have been able to sweep. I can’t see any reason why we should not have used them.”

“I gave you my reason.” Her retort took me by surprise. “I don’t trust them so far from Equestria, and that is the end, Luna.”

I was speechless. We were making progress, and there no sign of a potential mutiny, or any dissent at all. “Tia, please. I’m trying to…”

“I’ve already recalled the Thestrals. Good day, Luna.”

What was happening to our kingdom? First the Crystal Empire disappears, then this cruel delusion tortures me, and then Celestia becomes incapable of reason. The entire world was falling apart.

“Still think you’re equals?”

I would have snapped back, but honestly, what more could she do to me? My sister doesn’t trust me, so now I’ll never be trusted in court. Just forever her bumbling sister, fiddling with a night that nopony ever bothers to watch. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Oh, the hostility from last evening is gone. Why the sudden change of heart, Luna?”

Like I owed her an explanation. “Tis none of your concern, and you will not address me in such an informal manner.”

“Then how shall I address you, Princess? I’ve known you intimately for a long time. It’s only for i get to use your name, isn’t it?”

Questions, questions, but I knew that she wasn’t looking for those answers. “What do you want? I’m quite indisposed at the moment.”

A snarky chortle, she really had not respect. “Yes, the search for the crystal empire. Sorry I couldn’t stop Sombra from taking it with him, but at least I rid us of him.”

“What do you mean, you rid us of him?” The statement genuinely had me dumbfounded. Celestia and I were the only ones battling Sombra. No pony else was around. “Celestia was the one who vanquished King Sombra.”

“Is that what she told you? Well then, who am I to argue with the Princess of the sun?”

I reflexively stamped my hoof into the floor. I don’t know how I’d hoped to intimidate her. I didn’t even know where she was. “Speak plainly, knave!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you’d remember.”

“Remember what, exactly?”

She gasped with joy, about what I was reluctant to inquire. “Oh praise the moon, I have a story for you! You see dear, you were injured in your encounter with Sombra, but Celestia was more so. In all honesty, even a powerful princess like yourself, couldn’t hope to defeat the Crystal King on your own. So I...borrowed your body.”
I shook my head in disbelief. How could such a thing even be possible? Starswirl never even experimented with possession. “What are you?!”

“So rude, dear. I am not a what, but a who. But I will have to answer that question some other time. I believe a member of the thestral guard wishes to speak with you.”

As if on cue, a knock rattled the door to my chambers, followed by a low voice with a harsh growl requesting an audience with me. With all of these happening, I wasn’t sure I was even competent to speak to anypony, let alone govern. The voice was gone, but the thought of her never left my mind.

Author's Note

This is just a little something to hold you over while I begin another project. I haven't forgotten about this.

If at First You Don't Succeed...

Mornings were always hard, but this one seemed especially brutal. I couldn’t look at anything without my eyes screaming in pain from the torrents of light. All day yesterday I’d been thinking of how to help with the search, while also dealing with the Nightmare. I hadn’t found a way to help, and the hag still hadn’t gone away. I’d lost so much sleep and accomplished so little.

If waking up was a challenge, removing myself from bed was ordeal. Whatever sleep I do get now occurs in intervals of no more than two hours, so it isn’t appropriate to call my sleep ‘rest’. In spite of this, I was reluctant to leave my bed.

When I arrived at the common chamber, Celestia was there, having what I assumed was her morning tea. She needed to look twice in my direction before she realized that it was me out of bed at that time of day. “Luna? This is a surprise. Did I wake you up?”

I hadn’t heard a sound. I thought my insomnia would’ve woken her up. “No no, I just didn’t sleep well.”

“Do you want to see the physician? I’m not sure what she can do for the princess of dreams, but you could try.”

“No thank you sister. I’ll be alright. I have some other duties I need to tend to anyways.”

“Ok, but don’t let that get in the way of your health.”

“Yes yes Tia, I know.” I left the room without a word more. I didn’t want to be irate, but I did have one very important matter to attend to.

I made my way to the briefing room on the first floor of the castle. I had woken up late enough that the Royal Guard had finished their briefings, and would not be using the room for the remainder of the day. I decided, at the request of Captain Sagittarius, to use the room for the Thestral Guard.

Inside, I’d assembled the 5 Regional Commanders, each one rubbing the sandmare’s grains from their eyes. I suppose most of them were still waking up, which they had all done once I stepped into the room.

“Princess Luna, We are honored that you summoned us to your presence.” Captain Sagittarius, Captain of the Capital division, and the rest of the captains greeted me with a shallow bow, before returning to their formal postures. “However, none of us are clear as to why you summoned us here.”

“And that is why we are meeting now. I apologize for disturbing you sleep cycles, but I have a very important task for you all.” None of them so much as blinked during my pause. “I need you to resume the night search for the Crystal Empire as soon as possible.”

Even ponies as composed as these were visually perplexed by what I was asking them to do. “But Princess,” Sagittarius spoke up again. “Princess Celestia ordered us to halt night time searches. The ranks will be as confused by this turnabout as we are.”

“Yes, I understand that this is an abrupt change of policy...again. But it is necessary. Celestia is not convinced of your loyalty to Equestria, but I am.” The empty stare of the officers made me realize that I was speaking at a rather quick pace. I resumed at a more modest tempo. “Therefore, you will not be collaborating with the Royal Guard on the search.”

“Your Royal Highness, I am confused.” Captain Gemini addressed me this time. “How are we supposed to run a coordinated search if we don’t collaborate with the Royal Guard? I’m assuming they’ll be doing daytime sweeps.”

“You need not worry,” I assured them with a grin. “I will take care of the search areas for the Royal Guard, so as to match your progress so far.” The looks from the officers were less than reassured. “Are there any questions?”

Sagittarius spoke for the group once again. “No your Royal Highness, but I think we are all concerned about Princess Celestia. She halted our search before. She won’t be pleased to hear we’ve resumed without her consent.”

“I will worry about my sister’s reaction if that time comes. If the Royal Guard finds the Empire first, then our searches never took place. If you are the ones to find it, I don’t believe Celestia will be concerned with our methods.” The officers rendered a salute, and I dismissed them to their duties. The search will be on again.

My logic was sound, and my officers loyal. All I had to do now was keep Celestia out of the search effort. Everything would be perfect.

Author's Note

I'm not slow, just lazy. Twitch streaming is taking over my life, man.

Share the Load

Had I bothered to sleep, I would’ve been refreshed, like a new mare. I had all the documents ready for the search, and I trusted my captains would be discrete in their endeavours. Better still, I had yet to see the Nightmare.

But I couldn’t, no. There was still much to be done this day.

In my rush out of my bedchambers, I caught a glimpse of myself in a tall mirror. My normally flowing mane seemed to hang lower than normal, with less gleam than usual. My eyes betrayed my lack of sleep, bloodshot and shadowed. The kindest way to describe my appearance would be worn out.

But it would all be worth it; the sleeplessness, the diligence, the effort.

The lies.

Tia would come around eventually, she always does. She’s still stressed about the state of affairs in Equestria, what with an entire empire vanishing into thin air. Many ponies lost their livelihoods with the disappearance. But she didn’t need to do everything. I would be easing her mind by simply lending a hoof, even if she didn’t think she needed it.

I did get a few strange look walking down the halls, along with the traditional bows. It didn’t matter. What would they do to their princess? I had important royal business to attend to.

I passed by General Firefly in by the armory. He was inspecting the armor for damage, as he did every Wednesday. It would appear that he found a few specimens, as I knew he would. “Good morning General.”

His demeanour spoke of annoyance, but his utter frustration could not help but bleed through his brow. “I wish I could say it was, Princess. I know the stallions are out searching, but even that isn’t an excuse for the state of their equipment. Look at this!” He presented me with a breast plate, normally polished and smooth, adorned with dents, and I believe I saw a hole caused by folding. “This must be deliberate, but I haven’t the faintest idea why they would abuse their equipment in such a way.”

“I suppose the search is quite a bit more intensive than we believed. I don’t think anypony in particular is to blame.”

The General hoisted a piece onto his back. “I suppose, but I will question the stallions who used these items first. It’s not the most we have to worry about.”

Firefly went on his way to the barracks. I got the impression he was going to be more harsh than he would have led me to believe. More importantly, he was going away from my destination; his office.
If one could call such a place an office. I’m almost certain the General has spent more hours awake here than in his own bed. I never mentioned it to him, but I wouldn’t hesitate to give him a holiday at the first opportunity. He certainly deserved it.

Which is why I must do this. I couldn’t get control any other way. I slipped my documents into the General’s inbox, removed the appropriate folder, and proceeded on my way back to my chambers, to plan the next night of course.

And what a night it would be. Celestia would sleep soundly for once, and the Royal Guard would discover that they were progressing on their search at an astonishing rate.

But that would come in time. At the moment, I felt a need to relax. I’d gone through a lot to get those documents in order. I deserved a bath, since the last time I tried it didn’t end very well.

I returned to my chambers, and Celestia had still not roused. At nine o’clock, this was unusual, but understandable. She’d been up late as I was up early. Neither of us could keep to a schedule anymore. No matter.

The bath took a few minutes to draw, so I kept myself company with a cup of tea. Celestia always kept a few bags in our chambers, incase the servants weren’t around, or awake. I helped myself to them every now and then, but she always had some strange flavors in hers. I’d picked one up by accident this time; mint. However, I felt like I could drink it. It certainly helped me get over my sleepiness.

The bath was ready, and I slipped into the water. The hot water met my cool skin, and the two meeting sent a rush of feeling throughout my body. It was as if I’d wrapped myself into the warmest quilt ever stitch after a day out in a winter’s night. Eventually, I acclimated to the new ambient temperature, and I began to drift into a sleep.

“Well done Luna. Well done!”

Of all the times for her to disturb me, it had to be after my moment of triumph. “Thank you, now I believe I’ve earned some time to myself.”

“Oh of course, where are my manners. I’m just so thrilled you’ve worked up the courage to defy your sister! This is a great day for both of us!” Her incessant cheering had broken my slumber. Why must I, of all ponies, be burdened by her presence.

“Do you mind! And I am not ‘defying’ Tia. I’m just helping her with her royal duties, as is my duty.”

“I thought she didn’t want your help? She pushed you away.”

“Tia is exhausted from stress. She doesn’t know what she needs right now.”

“But you do.” That was the first sensible thing I’d ever heard her say. “And you knew exactly how to do it. Vandalising the armor was a brilliant distraction. And I agree, Firefly could use a break.”

I didn’t want to be reminded of what I had to do. But it did work, and the General wouldn’t dare question me even if he did know. “Thank you for your encouragement. Now please go. I deserve time to myself. Alone.”

“As you wish, your Royal Highness.” She left, and all I had to do was ask. If only I could do the same with Tia. I would ask to help, and she would say yes. Ah well. I had that sorted out anyway. No need to dwell on it.

There be Monsters

One month. Thirty days of covering my tracks, deceiving the guard, lying to my sister, and working my own thestrals in spite of their own reservations. Seven hundred and twenty hours spent falsifying schedules, and ordering away servants with no clear reason. In no other way can I think of a less royal way to carry out my duties.

But at least I hadn’t seen the Nightmare in that time.

But it appears that all of that time was wasted, for everyone involved. The Royal and Thestral Guards had swept the entirety of the northern frontier all the way to the Frozen North. And yet, all of the search teams came back with nothing more than reports of injuries and broken equipment. No crystal, no ponies, no empire.
Celestia had lost hope over a week before the searches were called off by General Firefly. She spent most of her time away from Canterlot, at meetings with ambassadors or tending to matters with her academy. I hadn’t given up as early as she had. Counterfeit schedules still made their way to Firefly’s desk. But I knew that when the search plots were less than 2 miles from the border of the North, there was nothing left to find.

The guards knew it as well. Reports no longer overflowed with sightings of a vague shape in the distance, or the faint sound of crystal music. Most came back with ‘Nothing found’ or no writing at all.

The citizenry had adapted to a lack of crystal products. Southern orchards had grown considerably to fill the vacuum in the market for crystal fruits. Textile manufacturers and fashion designers had learned to make the most with cotton and silk. Some even used magic to enhance their qualities, though their quality was still lacking compared to the old crystal variety, which now sold for hundreds of thousands of bits per yard.

I wasn’t disappointed in the Guard, or even with myself. I knew that they had searched to the utmost of their abilities, and if they covered all that areas and found nothing, then the Empire simply wasn’t there to be found. It was saddening, but I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on such a failure. Equestria needed us.

Another night complete. Uneventful, as par for the course. The most I can say that happened was a lucid dream I ran into. An earth pony was running around giving herself and everyone she knew wings and a horn, singing ‘Long Live the Princess’ as she went. It was quite humorous to see, although I do hope she didn’t really long for such a fantasy.

That the most interesting out of a week of dreams. Most were either power fantasies, romances, or just empty space; no dream at all. It had gotten to the point where I just decided to turn in myself, since nopony seemed to need an intervention of any kind. It was relaxing, if dull.

Waking from the dream space is always jarring. It feels as I would imagine one would wake from death; moving from one existence to the next, with a sudden gasp for air. Although based on my observations, this is how most ponies awaken from their own dreams. Maybe the comparison is more apt than it would first seem.
It is more shocking when one awakens to utter darkness when they expect piercing sunlight, and the darkness seems strangely soft and welcoming, at least for the eyes. The resistance to awakening is almost nonexistent, as moving from the darkness of the dreamscape to the darkness of reality isn’t noticeable in the slightest. I am a new mare, and yet I am different from who I was mere minutes ago, occupying a completely different reality. Even as Mistress of the Night, what I describe is not a phenomena I understand fully. Perhaps there is something to be said for the phrase, ‘ignorance is bliss’.

With this anomalous energy now in me, I decided to embark on an expedition around the castle, and see what activities transpire while Celestia and I perform our own duties. We don’t usually bear witness to the events that prepare the castle for a day, but with little else to do until sunrise, I could afford to explore, maybe even learn.
At least, that is what I would have done, had I not forgotten the fact that the rest of Equestria was not as eager to explore the pre-dawn as I was. The only hoofsteps to be heard in the halls were mine and the echoes they made. I mistook them at first for companionship, but I eventually grew accustomed to the noise after the fifth time I made that assumption.

I was considering venturing back to my chambers, having failed to find anything of interest, when I noticed a single open door. It wasn’t one of the usual ornate decorative doors that led to an official space, which required a guard and ten minutes to open. This one resembled something one might find leading to the kitchen, it’s only decorative piece being the door knob.

I approached the ingress to read the plaque next to it. Library: Free Access. “How quaint.” I thought aloud. This was the library Celestia had set aside for the castle staff and visitors to go through in order to enrich themselves. Perhaps I would learn something after all.
Inside, my mind took me back to my younger days, studying under Starswirl. Back then, I was but an inattentive filly. Books, books everywhere, and nothing good to read. It’s astonishing that even after having several generations of experience in this world, I still stumbled across intriguing facts hitherto unknown to me. Clover the Clever, bless her, had an encyclopedia of all of Equestria’s known fauna. Manticores, timberwolves, and parasprites were all detailed from their appearance to their diet. How she compiled all this information without coming to harm herself still baffles me. If I were in her position I wouldn’t be able to look at one of these beasts for a second before scrambling for the nearest hole to cower in.

Moving a hoof along the bookshelf, I noticed a volume authored by Starswirl himself. The texted inside was even scribed by him, making it very special indeed that such a volume would be in the Free Access library. Normally these stay amongst Tia’s private volumes. Curious.

This alone interested me enough to look inside. Whatever information was here, Tia must want people to be able to see it.

I folded the book open, not caring which page my eye fell on. I was curious to see what was of interest to the pony who last saw this volume.
It fell with not a crack into a map, sprawling both pages. It was instantly recognizable as a map of Equestria, Canterlot perfectly in the center. I saw other familiar names as well, although several cities, including Manehatten, were conspicuously absent. This map must be very old indeed.

Very elegant as well. Modern cartography is much too concerned with accurate projections to be bothered with making them pleasing to the eye. This one was filled with characters representing their respective locales; a farmer for the south, a fisherpony from the east, and even Celestia herself, poised over Canterlot.
Except for one area, one so obviously left blank. There was nary a figure nor a symbol representing the frozen north. Just text on the plain paper; ‘There be Monsters’.
I guffawed at the text. Even to an immortal such as myself, this was comically archaic. ‘There be Monsters’! I felt as if I were looking at a prop for a play! Perhaps I would find Canterbury Tails on the next page!

I couldn’t keep going, I would make a fool of myself should anypony wander by, and hear my unrestrained laughter. I slid the book back into it’s place, and made my way out of the library, snickering all the while. ‘There be Monsters’. I couldn’t get over it! I would still be chuckling over dinner tonight. Perhaps I could get Tia in a good mood for once.

One Small Step

You’d have thought that tending to every function of your kingdom would make one ravenously hungry, to the point where even our humbling dining hall would be empty within the hour. At one time, that may have been the case. Tia is better than she once was, but her eating still seems mechanical, her fork pacing between mouth and plate with the regularity of a metronome.

Previously I would try in vain to snap her out of the trance. Dinner just seemed like another item to tick off the itinerary. But I was never one to give up easily. “Have you been into our free access library recently, sister?”

She maintained her rhythm, but when her utensil was busy, she found time to speak. “Not recently.”

“Curious. I wandered in there this morning out of boredom, and noticed one of Starswirl’s volumes among them. I’d have thought you kept those in our study.”

This seemed important enough to get her attention. She gazed to a corner of the room, as if pondering to herself. “I don’t recall moving one. Which volume was it?”

“Oh, I didn’t examine it too closely. The page I opened to was an antique map of Equestria. I didn’t really look at much else.”

She glanced back down at her food, remembering why she was here. “I’ll need to investigate that. Starswirl’s books are much too old and delicate to be left out for the public.”

She had a point. I would hate for such a compendium of knowledge to be damaged as well. It’s a shame layponies wouldn’t be able to access it directly though. “I found the map quite humorous. I caught myself enamoured with it all day.”

This fact did not break her eating cycle. “How so?”

Remembering in more detail made me resume my chuckling. “Well, the regions seemed to be represented by caricatures of the ponies that lived there. Farmers, fisherponies, among others. Some of the newer cities simply weren’t there!” She continued her meal, unabetted. “The Frozen North simply made my week. It was completely blank except for the text, ‘There be Monsters’!” She glanced up, but I feel is was only to see my juvenile reaction. Her expression was more of concern than joy.
“Monsters? Are you sure it wasn’t a childrens book you were reading?”

Perhaps I was mistaken at first. She might have been amused. Her tone was flat, but at least I knew she saw humor in what I’d found. That was my goal. “It set the mood for the entirety of my day. I only hope it carries over into sleep.”

“I as well. Speaking of, I’ll be retiring for the day. Let me know if the dreams you see are as amusing as that book.”
With a nod, I bid her farewell for the night. Today had been a good day. I’d finally found something both Tia and I found joyous, however small it was. That it was a small step towards normalcy, but at least wasn’t slumping into despair anymore. That meant the world to me.

I would say I had earned an evening in the bath. I had been so busy worrying about the kingdom, I hadn’t been worrying about my own health. Is it not important to ease tension regularly?

“Good idea, Princess! Although I prefer it scalding hot.” Well, I suppose I wouldn’t get the chance now.

“Well this bath isn’t for you, is it? We may share a body, but that is not an invitation to indulge yourself in my pleasures.”

“I’m sorry, mother dearest,” she pouted. “I was just wondering how you were going to thank me.”

“Thank you for what? I think I’d know if you did anything worthy of praise.” I let out a satisfied sigh, as I let the water envelope me up to my neck. “When was the last time you ran a nation?”

“Well, having my own body would make it easier, if I didn’t have to borrow yours constantly.”

I was about to remain silent and pretend to be asleep, but then I realized…”What do you mean, constantly? You only possessed me once.” She remained uncharacteristically silent, which did nothing to ease my concerns. “Correct?”

“Oh, what an unfortunate slip of the tongue. I may have taken liberty with you while you slept once or twice.” I bolted upright, and instinctively looked for her in my reflection. She was there, innocently looking away, attempting to prevent eye contact with me. “Or maybe several times.”

There was no use becoming livid. I attempted to regulate my breathing, so as not to concern anyone by raising my voice. With a temper such as mine, this was difficult. I could only speak through gritted teeth. “What did you do?”

“Nothing at all.” The insolent wench! I would’ve lashed at her in my reflection had I not know it would be meaningless. I could only continue my disapproving stare, like the mother she mocked me for being. “I was only helping you dearest. Why would I do anything else?”

I could only slump back into my bath. Why indeed? Nothing seemed to be wrong in the castle. Whatever she did, I wasn’t suffering for it, yet.

“Let it leave your mind, Luna.” Her tone changed drastically, from a malevolent adolescent to soft lady. “You’re right. You deserve this time to relax. I won’t burden you with any more troubles. Just remember how you made Tia feel today. That should help.”

I would have dismissed her had that not been an attractive proposition. I reclined back into the water, recalling the smile that had graced both Tia and I that evening. It was bliss. I would have fallen into slumber had I not been jolted by a knock on the door. Before I could respond, one of my ladies-in-waiting entered, bowing before giving her news.

“Apologies your Royal Highness, but you are due to begin the night soon.” She was right! I had almost forgotten my central duty! How could I! I thrashed about attempting to become fully awake, but my mind soon got the better of my body, and regained control.

“How soon?” I inquired.

“Within the hour, your Royal Highness.”

A glance at the closest clock informed me that the hour had just begun. I had time to enjoy my bath a little longer. “Thank you. I will begin as soon as possible.” With another bow, she turned to leave, and I was left to finish my relaxation, in silence this time. The only thing I heard was Tia’s chuckling from dinner. Thank you Nightmare, for reminding me of that event. You deserve that much at least.

Golden Opportunity

Have you ever seen a perfectly still world? One where absolutely nothing is moving, nothing is alive? If you were to look up, you would see nothing but stars. Every one of them in exactly the same place that they were the previous night, and every single night after. As eternal as the cosmos themselves. No wind, no creatures, no sound, only the stars.

This is the goal I strive for every night. Some nights are more successful than others.I may be Princess of the NIght, but I must allow the pegasi to commence a storm of some sorts, if there is not enough time during daylight to allow it. Other aspects beyond anypony’s control may arise, usually in the form of the wildlife, communicating with each other in various parts of the world.

I remember a philosopher who once said that everything in our corporeal world is an imitation of a theoretical, perfect object, which cannot exist on earth. Even a concept as broad as ‘the night’ will fall in the category of imperfect things.
But that doesn’t stop me from trying.

“Tia! I’m leaving!” Celestia was less than pleased with the volume of my voice.

“Yes yes, Luna, go. You needn’t use the royal whee when the rest of us retire.” She slunk off to her bed. Sleepy ponies are always moody ponies.

As I prepared to take off from the balcony overlooking Canterlot, a familiar voice rang in my ear. “Just this one time, your Royal Highness?”

Night after night, she nagged in my head to be allowed to help with the nocturnal preparations. And night after night, I refused her. Tonight was different, in that I was still going to refuse her. Cloudsdale had no weather scheduled around Canterlot that night, there were no events scheduled, and most importantly, it was the Winter Solstice. I was not going to let this slip opportunity for the perfect night go to anyone else.

“I think not. This is going to be the perfect night, I will make sure of that.”

I couldn’t see her, but her silence communicated everything I needed to know. I felt a little regret saying no to her, but the feeling dissipated quickly after I took flight.

Winter is the best time of year to have to perfect night. Not merely from the standpoint of preparations, but from the enjoyment I get. Most ponies shelter themselves from the frigid winter air, especially when the sun is not out to warm them with it’s rays. But they would not sleep as well as the do without knowing what is outside. Still, I enjoy being outdoors. It get’s lonely at times, but the Nightmare has helped recently with her colorful commentary.

I alighted on the edge of a cliff overlooking the city. The night lights were few, all of which were dwarfed by the plethora of stars scattered overhead. Every single one was perfect, constantly shining, never moving.

But I had work to do. I had declared that this was to be the most perfect night, and I will swim through a sea of eels in Tartarus before I would go back on that declaration.

“I am ready. Let us go forth, Nightmare! This opportunity will not slip me by!”

“Words, words, words” she stabbed back. “I want to see it!” With such encouragement, we launch into the night sky and set to work.

Top priority was the sky. Should anypony decide to partake in the night, that would be the first thing they would see. Since clouds no longer obstructed anything, the black sky was a completely naked canvas on which for me to paint.

I used my usual assortment of constellations; Sagittarius, Orion, Cancer, and so on. With a simple direction of the horn, I was dotting the obsidian void with the most perfect of diamonds. During the day, the only decoration would be those monotonous clouds, with the occasional bird or pegasus flying overhead. Aesthetically, this is much more pleasing. Pretty soon though, I ran out of ideas. I didn’t usually have this much free sky to work with. I was a painter with too great a canvas!

“You forgot the dippers, dear.”

I had? I had. Curses! And I still had another hemisphere to complete! “How could I have missed it! OH! I must get this night perfect, and there is yet a whole other sky to complete!!”
“Leave it to me dear. You go ahead and add the bears. I’ll handle the rest.”
She confused me. “Please explain. What could you do?”
“Same thing I did with the armor.” she clarified. “You’re tired, but I can keep going. Don’t worry, I know how you like the stars arranged. It will be perfect.”

I wanted to make absolutely sure that every detail was perfect, and only my touch could ensure that. She was right though, I didn’t have the constitution to make the southern skies with the same passion I had so far. “I would rather finish myself, but even an inexpertly finished night is preferable to unrealized perfection.”

“Oh ye of little faith. I’ve been with you a long time. I’d humbly say I can make this night as well as you would have.”

A boastful claim indeed, but I had more to lose. “Very well, I will add Ursas Major and Minor, then you do what you must.” Adding the two ladles took a considerable amount of time for a dozen stars, but since I would not be doing the rest, I could afford to exert myself just a smidgen more.

Finally, I was finished. All of northern equestria had the most beautiful sky I had ever created. Crisp air, shimmering brooks, singing winds, and of course the jeweled sky. All inviting ponies of all races to enjoy its tranquility. Now it was time to turn over the reigns. “All right. Your turn, Nightmare.”

“You will not be disappointed. Please land before I begin. It will make the transition less hazardous.” I didn’t ask why. My only concern was finishing this night. I did as she suggested, and I felt my eyes grow heavy as I touched down. In an instant though, I felt as fresh as ripened fruit. No fatigue, no ache, or anything of the sort. I tried to move my joints to see if this was real, but nothing happened. I tried to look down, but my eyes too were unresponsive. Before I could react to my loss of control, I had taken off, and was hurtling toward the southern sky. I was terrified at first, unable even to cry out in fear, until I realized I felt no exertion from the flight. I wasn’t in control, but neither was I taxed by it. It just seemed to happen of its own accord. Only then did I realize Nightmare’s intention.

“This is surreal.” I tried to speak aloud, but again, my lips were not my own. I did hear my voice, but not through my ears. My senses were gone, yet they were there.

“This is incredible!” That did come from my lips, but the words were not mine. “I feel the cold on my skin, and I taste the night air! Oh what delights you’ve kept from me!”

She was me, and I was her, as it were. “There is a price to this experience. Remember the night.”

“Of course of course. We are on our way to the southern skies. But the destination is only one part of the journey. Let me at least enjoy the trip.” If she was going to make good on her promise, I suppose she did deserve at least that much.

“So what do I do then?” I had to ask. “Am I just a spectator now?”

“That is all you are at the moment. Feel free to take well deserved rest while I work.”

I’d seen the south enough that the journey she was taking did not interest me too greatly. I only cared to see it once she’d finished her detailing. I slipped into a slumber as my night made itself.

“Wake up. Your night is finished.” I may not have had a body, but the transition from sleep to reality was no less nauseating. I attempted to rub my eyes, but vainly, seeing as I had neither hooves nor eyes at the moment.

When I was finally able to see, after Nightmare had directed my gaze skyward, At first, I didn’t react. It was exactly as I had planned it to be, no more, no less. The stars, each with the appropriate size, hue, and luminosity, were arranged in the same constellations as I had always done, immaculate and unchanged. Once I had been given the chance to observe the entire sky, I ask my eyesight be directed downward, towards the landscape. Again, everything was as I expected, not at all dissimilar to the north I had created. In the south though, it was winter, so the necessary changes were made. Instead of snow, grass grew dotted with dew, and the insects were active, now that the sun was not bearing down on them. It was my night, as it should have been.

As I mulled over the sky, and my own thought, the significance began to grow. It was exactly as I wanted it, as how I would’ve done it. Perfect, flawless, and beautiful. But I didn’t make this. Nightmare did. She did make it as I would have, to the tee. She even reduced the output of certain springs, so that the streams and rivers they feed would make less noise a they flow. She was true to her word.

“Is it to your liking, your Royal Highness?”

It isn’t befitting a princess to be at a loss for words, but I struggled nonetheless. “It’s exactly as I imagined. You did it. You made a perfect night.”

“No,” she corrected me. “I did one half. We made the perfect night.”

Author's Note

No this didn't take seven months to write. I just sat on half of it and then finished the other half because life things happened I'd rather not discuss. I'll try to be regular like I was before, if anyone still reads this.

Minor Inconvenience

A hard day’s night I believe is the proper term. Every inch of me ached from my flank to my horn. That said, it merely meant that I had put my heart and soul into crafting the previous night, something I was all too happy to suffer for. That was what I kept telling myself as I attempted to stand up.

“Goodness, I didn’t realize I would take such a heavy toll on you.” Were I not so focused on my ‘left hoof, right hoof’ routine, I might have said something back, but all I cared about at the time was getting to breakfast. We hadn’t eaten when we returned from crafting the night before. Both of us simply collapsed into bed upon arriving back at the castle. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen again when I was supposed to be awake. That day Tia wanted to go and inspect Cloudsdale’s various weather factories, leaving us in Canterlot to our own devices.

But what to do? I had purposefully scheduled no responsibilities for myself on this day, knowing that I would be exhausted from crafting the night before. Since I had nothing to do, and nothing was supposed to happen, I reasoned that the best thing for me to do was nothing.

Mulling it over, I noticed the bath out of the corner of my eye. Perfect! A hot bath would be perfect for relaxing my aching muscles. I could stave off the hunger for a little longer. This felt much more pressing.

I began to run the bath, and the sound of the rushing water immediately started lulling me back to sleep. I couldn’t slip away just yet. The bath had to actually fill first, but my impatience told me to go ahead and sleep anyway. And so I went, off to my own little world.

In all honesty, I don’t remember the dream itself vividly at all. I’m not sure I even had a dream. What I do remember was waking up, and the bath water being frigid. “Heavens above!” I exclaimed aloud, the now ice cold water having sent a chill through my already heat starved body. “How long was I asleep?”

“About two hours, give or take.” It was Nightmare.

“TWO HOURS!? And you didn’t think it reasonable to wake me?!”

“Pardon me your Royal Highness, but I have business to attend to as well.”

Suspicious. “What do you mean? What could have possible had to do while I was aslee…” It was an uncomfortable epiphany to say the least. “What did you do with my body?”

“Nothing heinous, I assure you. I simply had some chores that I needed to tend to, much as you do Princess.”

“You don’t take control unless I explicitly consent to it. Was it so urgent that you had to rob me of my bath?”

“Of course. I didn’t realize it would rob you of your leisures. Forgive me.”
I didn’t really forgive her, but drawing another bath was not the biggest inconvenience she could have caused me. “Now you know. Don’t do that again.” I ran the water again, this time making sure I was conscious for the entire time. Two hours less I now had, and I still didn’t know what exactly she had done. I didn’t think much of it at the time. After all, she’d never done anything terrible before.

Author's Note

Just a small update. I would have worked on more, but as you all know, writing is slow and math is hard.