Standby for Titanfall

"Day Two: IMC Pilot Ramsey Oppenheimer, I got only three hours of sleep last night and when I woke up I found that the wolves that I have killed are not wolves made of meat and bone but instead made of wood and leaves. At first I thought it was because I was still in shock from the traumatic events that happened yesterday but seeing the destroyed wooden wolves first hand, it only proves that this world is so alien to the normal verdant planets the IMC usually discovers. Further observations that I have made when I woke is that my Atlas has picked up a large signature while I was sleeping on its radar and although I can not verify it at the time it was a large enough of a blip to make it known and for a moment I thought it had picked up on a voice but any further attempts to scrub, enhance or modify the recording only proves to be a waste of time."

"Notes on the local wildlife: The wooden wolves seem to act like normal wolves back on Earth but can take a much larger beating for not having the usual sensory nodes in the mode that is attuned to having flesh, a strange chicken/snake thing was in my cave when I woke up and when killed its meat tastes way better then normal chicken when cooked, a large four headed lizard resides in a nearby swamp and mistook my Atlas for a saltlick and is now nursing a set of bruised heads, and lastly I have encountered a lion that has undergone an immense amount of mutation or an evolutionary response as it now has bat wings and a scorpion tail. I dub this thing a Uberlion and these things are extremely aggressive when provoked and are highly territorial. The latter part I know is that when I tried to carve into a second snake chicken it started to growl at me from my left, and when I lowered said chicken snake to the ground and let it be it stopped growling and left me alone. Note to self make a map of this place. PS: Find a way to hide the titans from any aerial view and from anything that could come from the ground."

"This is IMC Pilot Ramsey Oppenheimer, signing off for now."

Turning off the recorder for the day I lean back against the stone wall and put a hand to my face and sighed heavily. The local wildlife here all seems to be made to kill everything that moves, both flora and fauna are killers, I saw a planet lure in a chicken snake up to its petals before lashing out and biting its head, not letting go until it ran out of air and died. What came next was what I can now legally call a choking vine, it looks just like all the other vines that you would normally find in a jungle biome but this plant is different, it blends into normal vines and when its victim comes up underneath it, the 'leaves' on it, reach down and latch onto said victim to prevent them from running away while the vine itself strangles them to death, what they do with their bodies I do not know and I really don't want to know.

Looking at my new and improved firepit I saw the strips of chicken snake roasting nicely on the fire, the feathers from said chickens I have killed are just about as useful to me as a solid block of lead, and at this moment I could use some lead to replace any bullets I may have used or misplaced. Around my cave it was still the same, rifles in one pile, ammunition in another and separated by shell, bullet or charge pack, two separate piles of grenades, a few satchel charges and arc mines, and lastly a pile of pistols and anti-titan weapons. I know that I would have to go hunting again for more food and that I needed supplies badly, there is only so much a couple of survival kits can do and I need more metal and wood.

'During my fall I saw several towns scattered about so I can only guess that these colonists wanted to be separate as to not instigate one another and cause a fight to break out.'

Getting off the stone that serves as my stool I went over to the pile of pistols and grabbed Miko's Mk. V Smart Pistol, I felt water start to form in my eyes as I handled her favorite weapon, she made the modifications to have a better targeting computer, the same targeting computer that she used to berate me about being better at me when it came to calculus. She was right, my math is shit when it comes to this damn pistol. Pulling the magazine from its housing I saw that it was a full clip and a bullet was in the chamber, putting it back into its holding space I look down the sights one time before holstering it before moving onto to grab a RE45-Autopistol and a few arc grenades, knowing that an explosion from a satchel charge or a frag would alert everything to my presence and I am trying to maintain a low profile or as low as it could possibly get in a situation like this.

Heading out the cave I saw my Atlas get up from its kneeling position to try and follow me but with a quick wave of my hand it went back to Guard Mode and stayed behind, it would be hard to maintain a stealth mission with a metric ton of solid metal stomping behind me through the forest on my tail.

'I think the nearest town is....that way?' my thoughts this morning are a bit jumbled but after looking in the possible direction of the town I took a deep breath, said my prayers that I find some colonists that would be 'willing' to part with an ax, a saw and a nail gun.

My first steps to the town I can feel that today was going to be a good day for me, and hopefully the rest of my stay here until an IMC ship comes along and picks me up.

Ponyville, Dawn

At the same time as I was making my move, a very groggy and if not tired purple unicorn was just now waking up from her morning slumber, her mane disheveled, a bad case of morning breath, and her favorite book was resting on top of her head, her horn barely poking over the top of said book.

Yawning to herself as the sun's early light peaks its way through the window she rose from her bed, the book using her face as resting place slide off and landed on the floor with a soft thud and closing shut at the same time. The young mare's horn glowed a light purple, levitating the blankets off of her body as she rolled out of bed and dragged herself to the bathroom, her head suffering from a severe case of bedmane and she was groaning the entire time while uttering out the words "coffee".

It was when she was in the bathroom cleaning herself up and making herself proper for the day ahead, a small purple lizard walked out of the same bedroom, more lively then the unicorn that has just walked out but was still tired from last night's events that has transpired while he was stacking the bookshelves with new books.

As the young dragon stumbled into the kitchen after falling down the stairs and knocking his head against a bookshelf, dislodging a rather large tome from its snug home and found a new one on top of the purple drake. He wheezed for a second before pushing the heavy door stopping tome off of him, giving said tome a disliking kick before resuming his journey to the kitchen to find everything right where it belongs albeit the coffee pot was not turned on.

Grabbing a stepstool the dragon moved it over to the coffee pot and grabbed a can containing the coffee grounds before pouring it into a strainer and following after it was a pot of water before he closed the lid and turned it on. The sounds of the coffee pot being turned on alerted the purple mare on the second floor that her precious life source was being made and that her number one assistant was the one who made it, her ears swiveling around at the sound of buttons being pushed and a loud beeping noise signifying that the brew is done.

"Spike! Is breakfast ready yet?"

During the time it took the still groggy mare to make her way downstairs and to the kitchen her assistant, Spike, has made an assortment of food for both himself and his older sister. Laid on the table was pieces of toast, butter, jam, a bowel of gems, oat cereal, waffles and another bowel of gems.

"Yes Twilight, its ready!"

When Twilight went past the threshold of the doorway her sour morning mood was immediately lifted when she saw then smelled the heavenly aroma that frown turned upside down and sat down across from her little brother and started to dig in while levitating the morning's newspaper into her field of vision.

Early Night Meteor Showers or Strange Magic in Use?

Early yesterday night several ponies and gryphons saw in the night sky a strange phenomenon that has caused quite a scare in a fairly large number of ponies, many of them saying that it has not only disturbed them from their sleep but the resulting short earthquake that came after the aurora-like lights in the sky came to an end. Nopony knows as to what is the source of the strange lights but one thing is certain about last night, many ponies lost some sleep to calm down their foals from the resulting quake. When we spoke to the princesses about this, Princess Celestia said that she has nothing to say on the matter since she does not know enough to leave a comment while Princess Luna, the recently returned princess after her exile to the moon, has told us here at Neighsayer Daily that she may have found underneath the phenomenon a strange series of metal statues depicting strange warriors of an unknown race of different species. She has yet to figure out who these statues belong to or even what species they were created by but one thing is certain, the Whitetail woods now has some history behind its beautiful trees.

On page Six we have news that Spitfire may be a le-

At that part Twilight closes the newspaper and takes a sip from her cup of coffee, her mind now working to understand what she has just read. She was asleep at the time when the earthquake happened and the bright lights in the sky, what she is trying to figure is where the statues are located, what do they mean and who do they represent. Another thing her mind is racing through is that what could have caused the disturbance in the sky, she knows that Discord is back in stone after escaping when a bunch of fillies and colts were on a fieldtrip and it wasn't Luna cause even she doesn't know what caused it.

"So Twilight, what do you have planned for today? More book reading or are you planning on finding those statues that Princess Luna found last night?" the young dragon asks while nomming on a piece of toast, the golden brown piece of bread being torn to pieces in those razor sharp teeth of his but what has caught his undivided attention was on the back of the newspaper, particularly the news article on a certain white unicorn mare with a purple mane and tail in a spring style.

"Well" Twilight started before taking a nibble from her toast and a nom from her oat cereal before going where she left off "I was thinking on checking out those statues that Luna found but seeing how its in the Whitetail Woods and it boarders on the Everfree Forest and well...I rather not go in there alone like last time."

"Oh you mean the time you got lost and a cockatrice petrify you solid?" Spike said with a smirk on his face, obviously enjoying his older sister's discomfort at that old memory that happened a few weeks ago.

"Yes Spike, that time. But this time I will be asking the girls if they would accompany me to check it out, you could come to if you want." Twilight says and with a grin she levitates a the large tome that he had knocked off earlier and with a gentle flash of her horn the heavy book floated back to its resting place before her horn turned off.

Shaking his head he grabbed his plate along with any of the empty ones and waddled his way to the sink before dropping off the dirty plates into the soapy water.

"Nah, I'm good Twilight, I think I had enough adventures for one year and I would like to keep my scales attached to my body this time." and with that Spike went back to what he was previously doing the other day before the meteor show knocked down half the books in the library, helping Rarity with her clothes.

"Alright, take care and tell Rarity that I will need my dress stitched up, you know the one I am talking about right?"

"Yeah, the yellow one that you danced badly in?"

"Yes...that one...wish you would stop bringing up the humiliating events in my life up every time."

"Sorry, just sorta happens."

"It's alright, try not to get into too much trouble now Spike."

And with that the two separated, Spike went off to Rarity's boutique and Twilight went to Sweet Apple Acres to ask her friend Applejack and Rainbow Dash to accompany her with the probability of Fluttershy to go into the Whitetail Woods with her.

Unknown Forest, Time: 8:36AM

"Alright Ramsey...this forest has seemed to calm down, no more predators to ambush you and no more soft and cuddly rabbits to trap and kill for rations, just yourself and the trees." I muttered quietly to myself, for the past two hours I have been moving in a crouch, keeping my head low and my eyes peeled for I have been ambushed two times already since I first left the safety of my cave outpost. The first ambush was another of those Uberlion's and it was quickly dispatched with the well timing punch of my Atlas, the damn head exploded into the dirt when it got bloody ground pounded and its corpse is being put to use, Atlas is roasting its freshly skinned and gutted body over a large roaring fire. And as for the second ambush, a chicken snake was about to fall asleep but I accidentally stepped on its tail and woke it the fuck up, damn thing let out a loud ass shriek and was staring at me with all its soul, which it now makes a lovely chicken snake stew-in-waiting. One thing I learned about the tails of those things is that they can make a really good jerky if my survival knowledge serves me right that snake meat is hardy and full of proteins and is bitter if not cooked right.

Stopping in the tall grass I peered left and right before turning on my Active Radar Pulse, and everything turned a slight tint of blue but soon enough on the edges of my vision I saw an orange body moving towards me and when I recognized what it was I put away my smart pistol and pulled out my data knife, and readied it. Just as it was about to poke its head into the patch of tall grass I was in the wooden wolf perked its head up and looked away from me and into the direction I was going in before letting out a low growl and bolted off into parts unknown.

Poking my head through the tall grass I saw that it wasn't any intelligent life but instead it was a bear, a brown bear to be precise and it was standing there on all fours, looking at me in wonder and before I could remember what it said in the survival handbook on what to do when you've encountered a bear, it slowly walked up to me and gave me a whiff, its wet nose brushing against my neck before it moved back and nudged me with its nose, something that I would have expected to come from a dog and not a several hundred pound bear to do but at least it comes to show that this bear is trained in some manner.

'Man, what I wouldn't give for Blisk to be here to help make sense of all this shit. I wonder what would surprise me next? Talking dogs? Actual dragons from the old story books? A god walking among the common folk?'

Looking at the bear I can clearly see that he isn't just a common brown bear but one that has been tamed by man, the way his fur looks, the docile treatment, the adorable way he rams his head into my back to lead me to his master. Being nudged by a bear is one thing but to be directed on where to go by a bear is another matter, this bear was smart, clean, well kept and does not have bad breath, all of those things that should not go together for a beast of the forest and mountains but here it is, a smart helpful bear leading me to civilization, and I don't have any bear snacks to give.

"Bear, it would be nice if you lead me to your home instead of wherever it is we are going." I said, hoping that this bear would understand my words and lead me to his master's lair. And just like that I felt the bear's head nudge my right leg a few times before I took the hint that he understood what I had just said and with that I followed close behind said bear.

'Great, he understands English, now all I need is a tacky hat, a long tie, and teach him to speak English and walk on two legs and get him a sidekick and I can re-enact Yogi Bear.'

Taking a walk with a bear is something I did not expect to happen in my life but seeing how it is happening and that said bear is happily rubbing his head into my right hand expecting to be petted I can clearly say that my life is officially fucked sideways and off the rails. One does not simply survive vaporization in a giant robot suit only to be thrown into the universe's asshole and shat out onto a random verdant planet.

Before I could think on what could possibly surprise me at this point my vision clears up from the low lighting of the forest to a much more clearer focus as my eyes adjust to the increase in brightness and with it I see that the bear has indeed led me to his master's home, a wooden cottage by a stream with a pen for chickens. What really caught my attention was that there was multiple bird nests hanging in the trees above me and around the cottage, there was animals running around left and right and there was a dog house sitting on a small platform with a ramp leading up to it.

Staring at this cottage has started up my thought process and with it my helmet started its analysis on the building ahead.

"Planet: Unknown, Location: Unknown, Building: Cottage, Structural Material: Wood, Stone foundations, Ceramic plates for roof, Glass for windows. The building appears to be a reminiscent of Earth's more comfortable and modest homes for those willing to live in the rural outbacks. Basing on initial scans this building would seem fitting and comfortable for retirement. I recommend you buy one when your contract with the IMC retires in sixteen years, eleven months, three weeks and seven days. Warning, this building may belong to Frontier Militia or unrecorded colonists, approach with caution."

Taking my Titan-OS's advice into consideration I kept my smart pistol at hand and very slowly walked up to the front door of the cottage, my finger resting on the safety switch and standing to my right was the brown bear in which I have named Yogi.

Creeping along the grass line slowly my foot steps left a small impression in the soft grass leaving behind a rough boot-shaped dent but it was quickly covered up by the bear, seemingly wanting me to go into the building ahead which makes me worried for a second since bears shouldn't be this smart unless they have been genetically modified or trained by a very patient and highly intelligent trainer. Once I was at the front door I encountered my first problem of the day, the door would scrap against the top of my helmet and antenna, something that I find strange since all homes out in the frontier and in the core worlds were built to a standard to include people of all basic heights to the maximum of seven feet tall but this door was at six feet tall flat, not an inch taller or an inch shorter.

My second problem was that the door was closed and probably locked and I didn't have the key, and with that in mind I looked around in all the usual hiding spots that one would hide a key, I checked under the greeting mat, above the door frame, under the flower pot, in the flower pot, in the flower, and lastly under the separate stone slab that is under the greeting mat. Just when I was about to give up on finding a safe means of entering the cottage I placed my hand on the doorknob and twisted it before pushing inward and almost as if by magic the door slowly swings open to reveal the interior.

"Okay...that is strange but I'll take it. Now, onwards to adventure and whatever else comes afterwards." I said quietly before poking my head into the humble cottage, looking for any sign of life with my pistol at the hip pointing inward.

"Hello? Anyone inside? Anyone speak English or French or even German? Anyone alive at all? No? Alright then." I said and after three minutes of standing at the door with my dick in my hand figuratively and once it was about to press onto four minutes I stepped through the portal leading into the unknown person's home and looked around to get comfortable with my surroundings.

Before I even had a chance to properly explore this person's home, the bear Yogi decided to follow me in but there is a slight problem with that. He got stuck in the doorframe. With the roll of the eyes and the unhearable sigh coming from me I walked back to the struggling bear, his front half managed to get through the door but apparently his larger back half couldn't even fit.

"Come on big boy get your fat ass in here!" I partially shouted, tugging on both front paws of the bear as it let out a whine of sorts before I felt a little bit of give from the bear but he was still stuck in the frame. "Suck it in Yogi, I said suck it in!" again a little bit of more give came my way but he was still stuck but at least I think it was almost over cause there is no way I can explain this to anyone that lives here that a bear broke into their home and got stuck in the process. "Squeeze those cheeks together, squeeze 'em! Come on big boy I believe in you just squeeze your back half tighter then a virgin's cunt and you'd be home free!" and at that I heard, then felt a pop before falling backwards, with the bear falling on top of me.

Now, most people at this point would be freaking out that a several hundred pound bear laying on top of you but for me, this was almost familiar. Getting crushed by something heavy is almost a common thing for me, I got stepped on by a Stryder, rammed by Dragon upon titanfall, almost stepped on by a Leviathan and promptly punted by an Ogre and every time that happened it was because they were heavier then me, so a bear I could handle. That and I once dated a fat chick which ended up with me gasping for air after being sat on by accident.

"Dude...get off...your fucking heavy..." I said and waited for two minutes before adding a "....please?" to it, and that did the trick as the bear got off of me, licked my helmet before sitting there looking around with childlike curiosity as it was my turn as well to look around the house.

Well whoever lives or used to live in this home sure as hell loves animals, this crazy bastard has bird houses absolutely everywhere. There are birdhouses in the kitchen, in the living room, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, in the spare bedroom, and even in the closet. And with each search of every single room I was met with the same thing as I did with the first door, it was six feet tall and I have bumped my head against the top so far six times and it was starting to grind on my nerves. The kitchen was small and the wooden table and chairs but all of them were not meant for me or for any tall human for that matter and my guess was they were meant for small people.

Next room was the bathroom, and that was what tripped my mental alarms that this is not a human settlement. The toilet was practically a few inches off the ground like the ones you would find in Japan back on Earth, and my god the toilet paper was not standard-issue four-ply or as what both the grunts and pilots have learned to call it 'Sandpaper Ass Cleaner', it was soft, delicate, something that a women would use since most can't handle the four-ply. I found in that bathroom over ten brushes, a crap load of shampoo's and conditioner's that I thought that this person is running a spa or bath house. After that was the guest room and the bed is like a slightly smaller version of my bed back on the Sentinel and the Colossus, the room was almost up to Spartan standards with the exception of the girly wallpaper and rugs but it seemed comfy enough to lay down on.

After that was the main bedroom and that made my hypothesis about this place not being belonging to any humans was right. The bed was once again too girly for man to comprehend, the wallpaper was a type of yellow you would find to be the color of butter, the carpet was green like grass and the picture frame on the already small table next to the bed didn't even hold a human being or anything resembling one, but it did have something that I know of and I had to grab and lift up the picture to my face to be sure.

'Horse...with wings...somewhat surrounded by five different horses with wings or horns...and their the bloody color of the rainbow along with their hair....well shit one of them does have a rainbow for hair. Looks like I just lost ten credits to Blisk if I can ever find him.'

As I stood there trying to get my brain to restart, the sound of a door opening downstairs did it for me as my mind went from 'What the fucking hell did my titan land on' to 'I got to bloody hide.', and hide I did, I would have went for hiding under the bed but I was too big to do that and there was plenty of stuff underneath it so that option was out, I could hide in the corner of the room with my data knife anchoring me to the wall long enough for the 'horse' in question to trot or gallop or whatever it is they do for movement and go on by then drop down to make a run for it but the size of the room killed that option faster then the explosion at Demeter so that left me with one option.

The closet, and yes, I hide it in, and no, it did not make me gay or a closet case. The only closet case I have is that I love crapes and I did not let any other pilot or grunt to find out about it, that's my little secret and it will die with me. Hiding in a closet is one thing but to be hiding in the closet that belongs to a horse is something that will take getting used to.

"Angel I'm home and I brought-oh Mr. Bear how did you get in here?" a gentle and yet fragile female voice said as I heard heavy steps come downstairs. To me the voice was female but what she said is incomprehensible since its an alien.

'Oh crap...I forgot about the intelligent bear...hopefully he doesn't stab me in the back.'

"A d-diamond dog? H-here? I gotta go tell the others about this!" and like that I heard the sounds of the heavy steps was gone and was replaced with the bear poking his nose into the closet.

'Fucking traitor!' I shouted in my head as I dropped from the ceiling in the closet, landing on my feet before quickly exiting the enclosed space and just as quickly crawling out of the second story window and landing feet first on the soft grass and into the backyard. I know that I have said that this girl...horse....whatever the hell it is loves animals but this is just fucking ridiculous. There was chickens walking around as if they owned the place, badgers and skunks milling around, birds chirping and flying everywhere and Yogi Bear is sitting upstairs looking down at me.

Taking the betrayal in stride I made my next course of action to leave the crazy animal house and head straight to the town that is on the edge of the horizon, it was a fair distance away from the cottage and it was past the river so I can guess that this person...horse....alien thing lives out here alone with the exception of the bountiful amount of pets she has. I think I also might have found a new temporary viable source of meat and fish from this cottage as well.

'Next stop, probable horse town, after that, cave to sleep and eat freshly skinned and cooked chicken snake and take a mean shit.'

It took me four minutes to reach the outskirts of the town from the horse's cottage and well, it lives up to the standards of that cottage because everything looks like it belongs in a history museum. Every single house looks like the standard buildings in the semi-intelligent era of Earth when it was just barely beyond the renaissance...that or these horses are in the middle of their renaissance...and me being here might mean I am there version of an angel...or a devil, hopefully the first cause I do not want to be crucified and left to rot in the sun while I am still alive.

One thing I learned in my pilot training is that being stealthy has its advantages and among those advantages was how to walk on egg shells and not alert anything such as human beings or the Dragons on Planet Leviathan. Another advantage was that I was trained in the parkour section of the pilot certification program and its a good thing too because I highly doubt that these ponies look up.

Crunching on some leaves I made my way to the outer edges of the town, my helmeted head on a swivel, my eyes moving about like a hawk searching for prey but in this case its horses that are all colors of the rainbow with a few having horns or wings or horns and wings if the picture in the cottage has any shred of proof to it. If anyone was watching me at this very moment they would think I am being a creepy stalker following his ex but in my case I am creeping about looking for anything not nailed down so I can acquire free items and materials to make my life here easier while I wait for evac.

It was easier said then done because when I arrived to the first building I peered around the corner to see more horses and the color variation between each one was enough to hurt my eyes and their faces...they were talking, and by talking I mean speaking in a language that I couldn't understand and probably could never know of without a translator of some sort.

"What the hell...horses....horses everywhere and of every color of the palette known to man and probably several known to monkeys. Is that, is that horse with a horn using some sort of anti-gravity device to lower that crate to the ground? What the hell is going on! And that horse is in the air! Great! Now I am dealing with horses that can fly with wings and horses with telekinetic powers, this is bad if not worse then fighting Dragons and Militia, I got to get what I came here for then get the hell out of here." I said and when I did say that I saw a few of those horses stopped what they were doing and immediately looked in my general direction and my eyes caught hold of six horses like the ones in the photo staring over here and I immediately duck behind the wall and quickly moved away while turning my A.R.P and just in time too because by the time I was behind the next building the six horses were right where I used to be.

'Great, my helmet mic is still on...bloody brilliant on my part. Well at least I managed to evade them for the time being but I bet they are onto me now...better play it safe and be quiet as the grave or self I will be ending up in one.'

Ducking under a windowsill and moving around a trashcan I came across the sight of little horses of all three types running around and laughing, many were playing childish games while three of them in particular were by themselves sitting under a tree and they looked like they were plotting something. That actually made me laugh inside, horses plotting something, I am not sure what would be more humorous at the moment, the horses being successful in their plot or seeing it play through till completion.

Silently moving through the back streets of the town I had to hide behind walls and trashbins to avoid being caught and so far I was doing a good job, except that I bumped into one horse on accident and it was a grey colored winged horse, the eyes on it were gold colored and the mane was dirty blonde but the key feature of this horse is that one eye is looking in a completely different direction and the strange thing is that this horse looks adorable.

"Hiya doggy! What'cha doin' all the way here from your mines in the gorge?" I saw the gray 'mare' open 'her' mouth and the words came tumbling out but I couldn't understand a word 'she' was saying but I just couldn't help myself as I raised my left hand to her head, placed my hand on 'her' mane and started to pet her, and well lets just say that I have somehow found this horse's weakness.

As if on queue she sat down on her hind legs as one of them starts to kick like a dog and her head leans into my hand trying to get me to keep petting her. Raising an eyebrow under my helmet I keep on petting the horse while gauging her height, it was at least give or take four-four and a half feet tall and I could guess that those wings aren't solely for looks but those eyes of hers...she could use some corrective laser eye surgery or a good whack to the back of the head to realign those eyes of hers.

'Okay I can officially say that this planet is beyond strange, horses with horns, wings or without either of the two, horses that act like dogs when petted, and for fucks sakes the wild beasts in the woods are ugly as sin and taste amazing at the same time.'

This went on for a few minutes, I scratched the back of her ears and rubbed her mane and she panted happily, tail wagged back and forth, wings flapped weakly while slowly extending outwards to full length and lastly her back leg kicking at the air. As this continued I slowly moved around the happy horse while still petting her before finally rushing off, letting her still think I was there until I was already gone, and I was glad I left cause I started to hear a stampede of hooves behind the two of us and by the time I was gone and standing near a giant gingerbread house they have arrived to see nothing more then a really happy winged horse staring off in two different directions.

Now, this house looks like a gingerbread house, smells like a baked goods store, and tastes like wood means that this building is not confectionary goodness but is instead a really convincing baked goods store that is probably the cause of several horses and/or people losing some teeth due to biting down on it. Staring at the wall I turned on my A.P.R. and looked inside, I saw in the room and located yet another horse but with the exception that this one is a bit round and chunky, had a poofy mane and tail, and was somehow balancing a large platter of something on her back before sliding it away into what I can hope is an oven. Looking around I saw another horse but this time sitting down and reaching out with one leg before pulling it back and dumping something into an object before handing a bag of sorts to another horse opposite of him I think, and then the horse closest to me in the building goes to the stallion and hugs him from behind and my vision returns to normal colors as I feared what I was about to see.

'Bakery it is...now to go around it and find a supply storage or a tool store if they have one.'

Sneaking around a bakery is easy since the loud noises of metal scraping against metal, the occasional chatter and the fact that people always use the front door unless they are doing some dirty deals or doing drugs. Scurrying around yet another building and a few horses that weren't paying much attention to their surroundings, a few flying horses were moving things from a trailer that is also floating, and I see two horses sitting on a bench, one laying on it a horse would normally lay down while the other one is sitting like a human being while sucking on what I think is a slushie.

My next stop was luckily what I think is the town's blacksmithing building if my ancient history classes in the simulators were correct, it would have a large assortment of tools hanging around and not nailed down or under a display glass, I would have just to go in and grab what I need and quickly extract myself before things get to rough.

Using the back door that was apparently constructed near the forge and ore smelter, something that probably shouldn't be done but I don't know anything about building construction besides deconstruction with explosives or a titan falling down on top of it. The sounds of a hammer hitting metal quickly filled my helmet as my visor adjusted immediately to the lowlight in the building, the only source of heat and light is the roaring fires within the smelter and forge and sitting by an anvil wearing a brown thick apron and a large hammer being held somehow in a hoof.

'Apparently these horses can hold objects in their hooves instead of just their mouth. How they can do something like this I can not say but I can speak for Blisk on this one. Things have gone tits up.'

Sliding along the wall and turning off my helmet's light as to not give myself away I shifted my hands onto myself, rather not let the horse with the heavy hammer know I'm here and use that as an impromptu club and crush my balls with it, I have enough painful memories that include my balls. Most recent testicular injury involved a heavy-duty taser, some booze, and a dare.

Looking at the wall containing all the tools my eyes spot a large saw with sharp teeth and it looked perfect for cutting wood, and resting next to it on a hook was a woodsmen ax and a few columns away was a normal hammer for nails, now I just got find some nails or just use wood that interlocks with other pieces of wooden planks like Linken-Logs.

Said nails I am looking for, they are currently unavailable cause they are cooling off and from what I can see they are approximately sixty-four of them and the looks I am giving them would make some people wonder if I am insane or not. The horse working the anvil on the other hand let out a loud snort and continued to hammer away, the wedge of metal I can guess he is working on is a sword blade and I can safely guess that its not meant for me, hopefully.

Turning on my A.P.R. I see that the stallion is still hammering away, completely oblivious to my presence and with that ignorance in mind I quickly scuttled my way around the forge, grabbing the saw, axe, hammer and the cooling nails but the problem with those was that the leather bag I placed them in was starting to overheat and soon enough caught fire. I had to quickly dump it into the water bucket near the stallion cause if I didn't I might have set the rest of the place on fire but still he ignored me and kept on working.

Checking my mission clock it said it was now ten-thirty in the morning and that I have all my mission items and only one alien horse saw me and I think I left a good enough impression on the grey one that I come in peace and can offer good head rubs.

Turning around and going out the back door my head was still focused on the blacksmith horse hammering on the anvil to not notice that waiting on the other side of the door was the grey horse from earlier and standing beside her was a butter yellow horse with wings and a pink mane, and this horse looked scared shitless just by being in my presence.

'That and just about every other grunt and low-grade pilot out there.'

"Hiya big doggy! Look I brought a friend!" I still couldn't understand a word being said but from the way her jaw was moving up and down and that she raised a hoof and pointed at the yellow winged horse followed by a smile that I thought was impossible since horses don't have much in facial features department but seeing it happen right before my eyes cements the idea that shit will never make sense to me ever again.

My response to being talked to by an alien winged horse with another of her kind next to her was to wave my left hand slowly before moving even slower around them. Their silent stares were starting to make me nervous, I do not do well under the scrutiny of others and having aliens do it only seemed to magnify it by a magnitude far greater then an Ogre power core. Still moving quietly around the two mares I stumbled into something followed by me following over on top of it only for my hands to land on something soft, possibly furry, and most definitely warm.

Looking up from where I had fallen I am helmeted face-to-muzzle of an orange horse, I am not sure what I tripped over but I somehow ended up toppling this horse and landed on top of her, and how do I know its a her? Well from the location of my leg I don't feel a twig and berries but instead two bumps and a sudden drop so that was the only indication I needed to the alien is a she. Staring at the orange mare I quickly got back up before pulling the mare back onto her hooves with a firm pull up on her right forehoof, the strange thing that came with this horse is that she was wearing a cowboy hat, now my head just wanted to explode from the things I have seen today. So far I have encountered a grey dirty blonde maned flying horse, a golden blonde normal horse, a yellow pink maned flying horse and now looking at the one who is currently scribbling something down on a piece of paper with a free-floating quill and inkwell is purple.

'God, I know you know that I never much believed in you, but right now, at this very moment, please keep my sanity in check before I explode into an anxiety attack along with a midlife crisis.'

"Er....hello there....strange...little...horses...um...I am just gonna be heading out now.....soooo......cya." I said before moving again, keeping my eyes on all the horses, my vision not one leaving the alien horses out of sight cause I do not want to be ambushed by them and just because they be horses doesn't mean that they can't pull something out of their ass and surprise me like a few pilots have done in the past.

About a few feet away from the horses I can see that they are following me now, and I know that they are right behind me because I kept feeling something poking and prodding me, something that the medics and doctors did when I came in before and after my pilot training. Turning around I quickly snapped my arm back and grabbed the quill that was poking me before snapping it in half and dropped it before turning back and walking forward, the effect of me breaking that quill was what I think is the equivalent of human group gasping, but it was short lived cause a light blue flying horse with the rainbow hair was flying in my face, managing to keep up and not hit any obstacles in the way. The actual horse responsible for poking me was the pink one with the craziest mane I have ever seen, it was beyond messy and she was holding a large stick in her mouth.

Smiling smugly under my helmet I slowly changed my direction and was now in the path of a tree, something the cyan flying horse never saw since she was too busy glaring at me and bad mouthing me, well I think bad mouthing since an angry stare followed by words is usually a sign of being insulted with words. That angry glare was short lived as she ran into the tree ass first, yelping quite loudly and since she stopped moving and I haven't, I have ended up moving under her and with how heavy she seems to be from the lack of motion, she got stuck on my helmet when my antenna is somehow holding her in place.

This was amusing as hell, not only did is this cyan flying mare flailing around like an idiot, but her friends if I can call it that are now moving a bit close and around me in a circle trying to remove her from my head but so far all attempts have failed. I see the white mare with the horn glow a tad bit before stopping with what I think is a fizzle sound and a confused as hell look on her face, then the same thing was attempted by the purple mare with the horn but her look of confusion was rapidly changed to one of curiosity as she levitated a fallen tree branch over to me and let it come into contact with my arm before it lost the purple aura around it as it fell to the floor and I just raised an eyebrow at that before reaching up with both arms to pick up the cyan horse before staring at her intently, her wings flapped wildly but nothing happened and then she gave me a look of shock and tried again before looking scared, her tail tucked between her legs in a defensive manner and I just laughed at this before putting her on the ground and kept on trucking before finally thinking I have led them off course long enough to finally return back to base camp.

'And now....plot course to camp!' my mind said and with that I made an immediate left turn and ran up a tree before running along the many branches and trunks in the forest, trying my best to evade and lose the following horses. Fun fact about using my jump jet in a forest full of flammable objects on a planet filled with strange alien horses living in renaissance style houses, very hot plasma exhaust doesn't easily set thing on fire as they normally did back home. Another fun note, losing the local wild life is easier said then done but after diving into the river and sinking to the bottom and crawling all the way back up river back to camp took the better part of the day and afternoon into the night was enough to lose them for now.

Crawling out of the riverbed and rolling onto the edge while opening my external vents to recycle air I let out a loud sigh of relief and with my hands feeling myself up to grab the things I have stolen and confirming that they are still on me I can release a grin before laughing to myself in victory at my progress at surviving the alien world.

"Huston, we have nooo problem." I said once I was back in my cave, the axe, hammer, saw, and sixty nails were all by the fire, drying off from their dunk in the cold water along with myself, the report I got from a MRVN that was stored in a modified Militia Atlas, this one was rebuilt to be a cargo ship crate mover but it has long since been modified to be combat ready but it still held a at-the-ready Mk. III Mobile Robotic Versatile Entity Automated Assistant and I was glad that there was one here because I am now using it for a simple purpose: To order the nine other titans to act as security while I am gone, and so far it is working swimmingly.

Grabbing a recently smoked fish on a stick I remove my helmet, mess my hair up with my left hand before chomping down on the fish and humming in delight to myself, the one thing in this world that can't go wrong is dinner and it is not disappointing me in the slightest.

"Today, today is a good day." I said to myself before sitting back against the crackling fire, the MRVN standing at the cave mouth working on a cut down tree that an Miko's Ogre has ripped out of the ground, the task I had given it was to turn that tree into strong planks to keep the elements of the wilderness out and the warmth in. The next task I would have given it was to make a ventilation shaft so the smoke doesn't kill me.

So far...life is crap and good at the same time.

Canterlot Castle, Night

"Sister, how many times have I told you, if those statues you have found are still there by tomorrow morning then I will send out a small platoon of guards to secure them and send in chariots to ensure that they get here safely but for now please get some rest, your working yourself up all over again." Celestia said as she walked along side her sister, neither of the two were looking at the other as their thoughts were currently on what was said the previous night and from what her student has sent to her via letter earlier in the afternoon.

"I know, I know, but please listen to me this time. I just want a small group of guards there just so nothing bad happens to them while we wait for the dawn to come. And from what your student has written, the possible creator of these statues is a diamond dog wearing some sort of enchanted clothes and armor and made off with some tools made by Claw Hammer." Luna said before thinking on Claw Hammer, remembering clearly the stallion that just barely graduated from the royal guard academy because of his problems with pay attention to the world around him when he is focused on a current task.

"Yes...Claw Hammer, Ponyville's resident blacksmith and an auxiliary royal guard if I am not mistaken, but what puzzles me is that how he didn't notice a few of his tools was stolen from him while he was there making them." the mere thought of thinking on how badly a guard she watched doing drills and practice in the field messing up royally in a small town making tools.

"Maybe he was busy making something and couldn't pay attention to the world around him, like how you are when your busy reading a book written by Pen Stroke." Luna said with a smug look on her muzzle, Celestia looking away as if she doesn't know what she is talking about.

"But for now, I will let your request for guards to be posted by those statues go accepted for now, but only your night guards and only your best for this one. Do not pick more then five for this one Luna." Celestia says with a sigh, knowing that if she keeps refusing her sister on such a simple request that she will just keep getting pestered till she can't take it anymore and snap at a pony that probably doesn't deserve it.

"Huzza! Private Requiem, Lieutenant Blossom, go to the barracks and pick up Nightshade, Bitterroot and Morningstar and tell them to suit up and fly out into the Whitetail Woods at the spot on the map and guard the ten statues until dawn comes and Celestia's guards arrive to relieve you." the lunar princess says to her two guards and with a salute from the two they beat their leathery wings before flying off to the barracks with all possible speed to grab the other three and to head off into the woods.

Whitetail Woods, Night

Flying over the tree tops of Whitetail Woods, Lieutenant Blossom and her entourage of four underling guards soar through the forest of green leaves as they rapidly approach to their target location. Private Bitterroot let out a small yawn as his messy beige mane flutters in the wind as Morningstar sails past him, her light grey and blue mane snaking behind her before she corkscrews back to her position in the flying group with a snicker as she sticks her tongue out at Nightshade.

"You know Lieutenant, I think this task of guarding some clunky statues is a waste of our talents as night guards." Private Morningstar said with a yawn, not too pleased that her early shift was interrupted to leave the safety and warmth of the palace walls behind to go out roughing it in the woods for something stupid and mundane like more statues to be added to the gardens.

"Private Requiem, please inform Private Morningstar as to why we are out here." the lieutenant said with a smirk on her muzzle, knowing full well that her favorite recruit will set matters straight with minimum effort on his part.

"Ma'am, with pleasure. Morningstar, we are out here because of the importance of the mysterious ten statues created by an unknown being, possibly a highly intelligent diamond dog that is probably living on the surface instead of living with a pack or clan below ground. These items of importance are classified by both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna because they appeared at the exact same time as the phenomenon that happened last night." the young stallion said before giving a quick salute, his eyes spotting the clearing on the map he was given and waved over Blossom before pointing it out and let his commanding officer take the lead and land first.

"Brownnoser..." Morningstar mumbled before dropping into the trees and landing on the ground in the clearing alongside with the other four, all of them looking around trying to find the so-called 'statues of importance' that their princesses has dubbed of great value but from the look of things around them, there is no sign of trace evidence that they have even existed.

Looking around the large clearing, the five night guards searched up and down, high and low for their statues but ended up with empty hooves, that is until Bitterroot got lucky and found the large dents in the ground where the statues have been and when he found the small trenches where they have moved lead off to the mountains and Ghastly Gorge.

"Hey, LT. I found something! I think these statues we are lookin' for have been moved away over to the Gorge." he said in his usual baritone, the somewhat thick-set stallion pointing in the direction of the gorge along with the large dented ground obviously pointing to their quarry.

"Nice one private, come on fella's lets go found our prey!" Blossom said before flashing her fangs to her subordinates, and after a second they too flashed their fangs and followed after their officer, their thundering hoofsteps scaring away the weaker wildlife.

A few minutes of galloping in the direction of the dents in the ground soon ended up with them at a river and the Everfree Forest and Whitetail Woods bordering each other and waiting for them across the river, more dents.

With a flick of their wings and a short flight across they resumed their galloping after their target, all of them getting excited at the thought that they will finally find what they are looking for and get an early break.

What they found was a cave naturally made into the mountain side with eight of the ten statues put in a round shape around the cave entrance, with the ninth resting half way up the mountain and resting there for no clear reason and the thought of how it got there is confusing Blossom to no ends.

"We found them at least, and we have our thief in the cave, lieutenant, what do we do?" Requiem said while fidgeting in place, the sight of what they have been searching for is within view and the dog responsible for stealing those tools from a fellow guard was also here.

"Private, wait...I only see nine statues...where is the tenth one?" Blossom said quietly before hearing the sound of something heavy stepping behind them, and when she turned around and stopped dead in her tracks, her wings sagging to the sides along with her ears folding back and at the sight of their commanding officer being scared shitless the rest of her subordinates did the same and looked behind themselves only to see the tenth statue standing over them, a large blue eye staring at them along with two smaller ones connected to the large eye and resting above it was another blue eye and being held in its metallic hands, was a strange bulky object and at its tip it started to crackle with energy, a weapon Blossom just realized.

All five started to back up and quickly backed up into a bush only to be stopped dead in their tracks as Morningstar steps onto something metallic and before she could see what it was, they are all hit in a large cloud of electricity before falling over twitching in both pain and in a nerveless heap of flesh and bones.

Before losing consciousness, Lieutenant Blossom's eyes see the diamond dog they are looking for standing over her, shaking its head before raising a foot and bringing it down on her head, turning the light glow of the night into the darkness of the void.

Location: Forest Cave, Time: Night

I take that back, this day was good, until these ugly ass horses came here to attack me until one of them stepped on an arc mine and alerted me to their presence.

"Huston, we have a problem, and boy are these horses ugly as sin!" I said while dragging them to the other eight titans before putting them under their feet, pinning them in place until I decide what to do with them in the morning.