A dragon and a Princess Walk Into a Bar

by lunaisbestpony1

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Spike, Comedy, Random
Length: 1347

Spike and Luna meet one night at a bar in Ponyville, what ensues is a drunken conversation about nothing. What was once a dark, gloomy, and rather lonely night with nothing but shameful thoughts and a mug of beer, turns into a fun night of laughs.

Spike and Luna meet one night at a bar in Ponyville, what ensues is a drunken conversation about nothing. What was once a dark, gloomy, and rather lonely night with nothing but shameful thoughts and a mug of beer, turns into a delightful night of uneventful fun and alcohol fueled giggles.
Hope you like it!
Rated T for alcohol use.
Cover art by Follow Focus

Published 2014-05-28 07:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-28 07:40:01 UTC

Spike and Luna's Late Night Chat

The fizz at the top of the wooden mug bubbled over the sides of the container. Luna could smell the hazel liquid below, the intoxicating and familiar stench of alcohol. With the handle of the mug wrapped in her hoof, she slowly downed the drink. She would pause between sips to consider her newfound situation, downing more alcohol when her thoughts became too heavy.

It was with shame that she recounted the day’s events, and an earlier fight with her sibling. She had yelled at Celestia, called her names. And for what? Well, actually, that was a good question. She took another swig, no longer able to recall the subject of the fight, her brain too fuzzy with alcohol to care much.

She just sat at the dingy bar stool and scowled, beginning to consider her options when it came to distractions from the nights events. With some thought, she decided to meet up with somepony for talks and maybe more drinks, but she would have to leave this place to find any sort of fun or lively ponies to even chat with.

The bar she sat in was mostly empty. Besides her, there were only 3 others, all disinterested in the Princess hidden in plain sight beneath her black palace robes. The first two residents were a very drunk couple who had their lips locked, both laying on a battered booth in the unlit back of the store. The two could be heard giggling, although their forms were shadowed. The third was an overly sober bartender who sat behind the bar, eyes unmoving from a week old paper to which an unfinished crossword was slowly being filled out. Luna felt rather alone. Just her and a mug of beer.

She snapped her thoughts off the side track they had taken, and tried to remember what she had been thinking seconds before. What was she going to do again? Right, leave. She was about to get up when the sound of a door swinging open caught her attention. She turned.

Dripping wet from the outside rain, a small dragon stumbled into the bar. He sat next to Luna, not realizing who the mare was, then said to the tender, “Just some whisky please.” He buried his head in his arms and waited. Luna recognized the dragon as Spike. Twilight’s little brother/son/something. She yawned then leaned over to the kid.

“Spike,” She said drunkly, “why are you *hiccup* here? You shouldn’t be in a bar!”

She leaned on her hooves and did her best to give the boy a disapproving, princessy glare.

Spike raised his eyebrow annoyed before realizing who he was talking too. He looked through the black cloak Luna wore and gasped, “Is that you princess?”

Luna gave a bell clear laugh, “no, I’m the queen of Prance, what does it look like?” She giggled between a few more hiccups as the bartender slid Spike his drink. Luna pulled it away from the child, holding the glass high above her head with magic. “Spike, you soooo ain’t gonna have this. How would Twilight react? Her dragon drinking?”

“Princess,” Spike sighed, claw to his head in an exasperated stance, “with all due respect, I’m 22 years old. I think I can handle a bit of whisky.”

In her drunken state Luna gaped at the annoyed dragon, “Zounds child! We do not believe such tales!” Even in her old dialect, her words slurred “You are a baby!”

“A ‘baby’ who is also a dragon that ages through magical means only. I’m actually at the most responsible and mature state of my life. By pony standards at least. Now, give me my whisky baaack!” He whined the last bit, without a doubt proving his maturity.

Luna scrunched her brow, “fine, I will return your drink oh mature and adult child.” She waved her hooves about in a dramatic fashion as the cup floated down to Spike, “but if I ask Celestia, and she says that you should NOT be drinking,” she hiccupped, “than you’re in trouble.”

“Noted.” The dragon says. Then he changed the subject, “So what brings you to a bar? Especially here in Ponyville? Do you do this often?” He asked the lunar mare.

Luna shrugged, “Oh, I don’t remember that. It’s been far too many mugs. How many again tender?” She asked the crossword doing stallion.

“Nine.” The man murmured before going back to his game, “And Princess or no, they still need to be paid for.”

Luna snorted and pulled a felt bag of gold coins from her robe pocket, “but of course my subject. Keep em coming to me and my dragon friend, and you can have this whole bag.”

The stallion’s eyes bugged, he looked above his paper at the two and accepted the bag being levitated to his hooves. Then he stood and began pouring more drinks to replace Luna’s low-running mug and getting ready with another shot of whisky for Spike.

“So,” Luna yawned at the dragon as another mug was slid her way, “what brings you here dragon?”

Spike shrugged, declining the second shot of whisky and requesting a beer of his own before answering, “When the storm blew in, Twilight invited AJ and Rarity over for a slumber party, and well…I thought it best to leave. The two don’t really get along and I fear that their bickering could lead to trouble.” He sipped at his beer, “I just hope they don’t destroy anything, cuz I’m the one who has to clean things up.”

Luna snorted, “I doubt they will destroy anything!” She giggled, “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? A s’more or two falling on the carpet? Maybe dropping a vat of facial cream or feathers on the floor from a pillow fight?”

Spike shook his head, his own drunkenness showing through, “No, I’m talking,” he giggled, “magic induced explosions, strange blue boxes crash-landing in our attic, or, I don’t know, a tree pulled through the window.”

“A tree?” Luna laughed back.

“Hey, you never know!” Spike grinned.

The two friends spent the rest of the night chatting up a storm at the bar. Gossiping, joking, and just generally having fun. It was four AM when Luna passed out, slumped over in her chair, her face by a pile of mugs. The bar had stayed open on account of a ‘royal visitor’, but Spike knew it was really on account of a ‘royal budget’.

He shook his head, his vision spotty as the sun began to creep into the sky. Then he located a piece of paper and a quill and wrote out a letter to Celestia, who appeared at the bar mere minutes after the note was sent. The princess smiled at the dragon and thanked him for cheering her sister up and making sure she was safe after ‘their fight’. Spike wasn’t all too sure what she meant by that, but accepted the thanks none the less.

Spike returned to his library home after that, only to find a massive hole in the wall. He was picking tree branches off the floor for weeks after that, but insanely glad he wasn’t around for the bizarre events of a Twilight/Rarity/Applejack slumber party.

Luna woke the same morning in her bed and made amends with her sister, neither were resentful or angry at each other. It turned out a night away and time to talk with a new friend was just what Luna needed the stay sane.

‘Maybe’ the two found themselves thinking, ‘we should hang out more.’

Author's Note

Funny story about this fic,my teacher recommended to my class that we use this fun little thing:
http://creativitygames.net/random-word-generator/randomwords/1
as a prompt to write a short story. So I clicked the '3' button, and my fist set of words happened to be;

Beer
Moon
Spike

What can I say, I ended up writing a bar scene between Spike and Luna. I expanded it, and posted it here. Hope you liked it! Note, it still needs to be edited.