Fortresshy: The Nine Fathers

by Tatsurou

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Team Fortress, Comedy, Other, Fluttershy
Length: 57082

Red team finds a tiny filly in a paper bag. They decide to raise her their way. Hilarity, adorability, and explosions ensue.

Red Team had been given an assignment. It wasn't the usual sort of assignment. They were assigned to defend their base 'until further notice'...and then never received notice. All announcements sounded pre-recorded, and enemy assaults were few and far between. The enforced inactivity was slowly fraying the bonds of the team...

...until something unexpected arrived. A tiny creature appears one day in their fortress, in need of compassion and care. Somehow, she finds that in this group of strange individuals, as she becomes their baby.

-------------------
Crossover with Team Fortress 2.
Part of the PWNY-verse.

Edit: Since I get these comments a lot, I will say here, I've never played the game and don't intend to include much in the way of game mechanics, so please don't suggest such things.

Edit 2: FAN ART! for chapter 9 by G_Haze. Makes me so happy.
Edit 3: More fan art from G_Haze, This guy's amazing!
Edit 4: New fan art! by The Pyromanecer. Thanks so much!
Edit 5: More fan art by shiningkord98.
Edit 6: New Fan Art by The Pyromancer
Edit 6: More awesome fan art from G_Haze! So awesome! :rainbowkiss:
Edit 7: New fan art by Pioneering Author

Published 2014-05-29 07:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-29 01:58:17 UTC

1: Arrival of Cute

Medic slowly walked through the base, carefully stroking Archimedes, his pet dove. Despite the joy of yet another mission the team was given all together, the nature of the mission had left them all somewhat nonplused. Their mission had been to protect a newly constructed fortress from any and all invaders, nothing new for the RED team. However, enthusiasm quickly waned as they discovered a few things unusual about the mission.

First, it wasn't intelligence they were protecting, but the fortress itself. Second, there had only been one assault since they had been there, and that half-hearted. And third and hardest to deal with, their assignment was somewhat protracted. They were told to remain in position until further notice...and had received no communication since.

While the team was normally tight knit, the enforced inactivity was starting to strain the unity of the group. While normally each member of the team could entertain themselves between missions, the absence of anything to fight made each of their idle activities less and less satisfying, and they were beginning to get on each others nerves. If they didn't find something to distract and unite them soon, the team would likely tear itself apart as they turned on each other.

"Then again," Medic commented to Archimedes, "perhaps that is exactly why we are here. Perhaps our superiors are experimenting in psychology? Perhaps they want to see how long before we start killing each other, and which of us stays a team longest?" He laughed. "Dreck! They do not care about psychology, only explosions. Still, an interesting experiment. Perhaps I can study it myself?"

Archimedes suddenly flew off, following a large flock of doves. "Archimedes?" Medic asked, confused. He followed, deciding to see what could have caused such strange behavior in his pet. Was he seeking a mate? However, any natural, logical speculation was brought to a halt as he reached his bird's destination.

Archimedes and the flock he had joined were not the only animals at the destination point. A wide assortment of insects, small rodents, cats, dogs, and even a coyote had gathered peacefully, almost worshipfully, around a small paper bag. Medic tilted his head in confusion. While his studies hadn't progressed into animal behavior - preferring to focus on how to use medicine to warp nature rather than how nature normally worked - he was fairly certain this wasn't normal. Deciding to investigate further, he slowly approached the bag and poked it. The bag shifted back and forth, as though something was inside it. He pulled out his bone saw, just in case whatever was in the bag were dangerous...or unique enough to warrant dissection. However, all such thoughts left his head as the creature inside the bag popped its head out the top.

Medic stared at the creature before him, shocked at what he saw. The contrast of pink and yellow; the soft features; the huge smile that now became a nervous frown; the big, sparkling blue eyes that stared up at him from underneath the hanging pink hair... There was only one thing he could think to say.

"Bezaubernd," he whispered, slowly reaching forward and lifting the small creature out of the bag. He was quickly able to determine that the creature was some form of equine, and possessed small feathered wings. "A pegasus?" he asked curiously, carefully positioning her on one arm more comfortably so he could examine her more carefully. At least, he assumed the small creature was female, given the absence of male genitalia.

As he gently stroked the shivering filly to calm her down, her shakes subsided as she seemed to grow more comfortable with him. Looking over his elbow, she began to babble at the animals in something that sounded like baby talk. After a time, the animals left in their various ways, with the little one waving goodbye. Archimedes chose to land on her mane, just over her left ear, which caused her to giggle.

The more Medic examined the little one, the more adorable he found her to be. As she looked up at him with her big, beautiful eyes and a wide smile, he couldn't help but smile in return. He carefully carried her towards the kitchen, deciding that little ones of any sort were always hungry, so he would feed her.

Reaching the kitchen, he set her down carefully on the table before heading to the fridge. "Let's see what I can feed you, shall we?" he said aloud to her, opening the fridge door. Unfortunately, the fridge was completely empty save for four items: a BLU spy head kept alive on a battery; a bottle of Demoman's booze; an...unidentifiable object that had been added by Pyro; and a Sandvich. Only one of these objects was something Medic would risk attempting to feed to an infant of unknown species or origin. Even with his total disregard for life and proper medical practice, he had his standards. That, and the resupply station that brought them new supplies only resupplied foodstuffs when they were completely out. "Heavy will not like this," he muttered under his breath as he took the Sandvich from the fridge.

Setting the plate before the small filly, he smiled. "Eat up," he said encouragingly.

The filly carefully examined the Sandvich for a time. She then carefully ate the bread, chewing slowly. She then ate the lettuce and tomato with care, along with the rest of the vegetative matter. She then ate the cheese. She did not touch the meat.

Medic looked down at her speculatively. "Not a carnivore, hmm? I can fix that." His mind went to what he might learn from her insides if he was careful.

She looked up at him, her eyes big and pleading, one small hoof going to her tummy as it gurgled a little. Her ears were flat against her skull, her wings hung limp against her barrel, and her lip quivered.

Medic resisted the full power of her cute pleading for as long as he could...exactly 3.794 seconds. "Oh alright. I won't experiment on you. Just don't look at me like that. I haven't given myself a heart strong enough to take it yet. I'll find you more fruits and veggies..."

She smiled happily, walking up to the edge of the table to nuzzle into his chest. Smiling, he couldn't help but pet her soft, silken mane.

"Who took Sandvich?" Heavy bellowed from the fridge, making Medic and the filly jump in shock. "I vas going to eat Sandvich, but it is not here! Only I eat Sandvich, so where-" Having turned around, he saw the meat left on the plate, and gasped. "NOOOOO! Sandvich! You were taken too soon, and in pieces! Who vould do this? Why?"

The filly whimpered softly and quietly, cowering away from Heavy. A bread crumb tumbled from her muzzle.

Heavy stared at the filly for a time. "Oh," he said softly, "I sorry, malyutka. I not mean to scare you." Scooping her into his arms, he gently stroked her mane and cheek. "Please no be scared, Heavy not hurt you. Heavy keep you safe."

The filly looked up into Heavy's eyes apologetically. Making the connection to the plate, he chuckled. "Oh, you ate Sandvich? No worries. Heavy always let child eat first. But why no eat meat? Not grow big and strong like Heavy if you don't eat meat?" The filly wrinkled her nose as she turned away from the meat. Heavy let out a deep belly laugh. "You no like taste of meat? Heavy make taste better next time."

"Actually, friend," Medic interjects, "I believe her to primarily be an herbivore. I don't think meat would agree with her digestion."

Heavy thought about that for a time. "Oh. Then I make little pony lots and lots of fruits and veggies and milk, so she grow big and strong and eat enemies instead!" He glanced down at the filly nuzzling him. "You so cute," he said softly, once more gently stroking her. "You need somewhere safe to sleep."

"I was just thinking that," Medic spoke up. "She just appeared here out of nowhere, and I think it best if her introduction to everything here is gradual."

The filly yawned cutely, then stretched in a catlike manner. Heavy chuckled. "Look at her cute little wings fluttering. ...pony has wings?" At his comment, the filly hid behind her mane.

"Shy little one, isn't she?" Medic asked.

Heavy grinned. "Malyutka needs name. We call her Fluttershy!"

Medic paused. "I'm not sure if that's the best name for her..."

"Majority vote say it is!"

"Majority?" Medic asked, confused. "You say yes, I say no-"

"And Sasha say yes, so that two votes to one!" Heavy insisted, hefting his mini-gun. "Besides, she likes it."

His assertion seemed true. When he had said 'Fluttershy', the filly had perked right up. Medic looked at her closely. "...Fluttershy?"

The filly's eyes lit up, her smile beaming.

"See?" Heavy pointed out. "And I know where sleep. Fluttershy bunk with Sasha! She like the filly already."

Medic gazed at the now named filly, curled up at the base of the barrels of the mini-gun, already dozing. He nodded. "Can't argue with that."

Heavy chuckled, taking out his handkerchief and laying it over Fluttershy as a blanket. He then began to sing.

"Sp'yat us'talye ig'rushki,
Knizhki sp'yat ta-da-da-dam:..."

Medic couldn't help but watch as Heavy sang "The Tired Toys are Sleeping" to the dozing filly, smiling softly to himself. "Well, I did think we needed something to do to pass the time." Archimedes silently flew away, leaving Fluttershy to her slumber.

2: Fire and Music

He carefully stalked through the halls of this new fortress, the walls drab and grey, no color anywhere. He could bring color to this place easily. One wave of his Rainbow wand with the trigger held down, and the living color would fill the world again. But he wasn't supposed to, not yet. The demon in his ear got angry if he spread color at the wrong times. That, and his teammates did not understand the color as he did. They fled from it. Only the Blues came running to it, little cherubs dancing in his rainbows. If only they would come again, so he could once more dance in color...

He sighed as he rested his hand against the side of his head, making the mental effort to see the wood paneling before him in its drab brown, to see the flamethrower in his hand. It wasn't easy being Pyro. He knew that everyone thought he was a monster, a destructive beast that lived only to cause untold agony and reveled in the scent of burning flesh and the sound of screams. He knew how easily he could become such a monster.

But he didn't want that for himself. Just because he was good at being a monster didn't mean he wanted to be one. The rainbow land was his refuge from reality, from the truth of what he and his comrades were: puppets dancing to a monstrous tune of slaughter. He hid within his delusions of bright colors, magic, rainbows, and ponies. He was safe there. He was happy there. He knew the line where such fantasy ended and grim reality began...but he suppressed that knowledge, wanting only to find something to smile about.

He lowered his hand, shaking out both arms. He couldn't stay out of the rainbow land too long. For one, morbid thoughts always came to him when he did. For another, his teammates would notice if he wasn't his usual crazy, upbeat self. He turned, taking one last glance around the room. He saw Heavy, and Medic, and-

He stared at the tiny creature, yawning as she awoke. A pony, tiny wings fluttering, filled with the bright colors of the rainbow land. It was impossible. He had lived in his rainbow land long enough to know what it felt like, what it looked like, even what it tasted like...but he also knew it was delusion. And yet the colors of that delusion seemed to pour off the filly as though she were a living fragment of fantasy made living flesh and blood.

He had to be sure. Was such a creature real? Or had the line finally begun to blur for him, and his path to being a true monster set in stone? He quickly rushed forward and scooped up the filly.

Fluttershy stared up at the red creature holding her, and into his black face and glass eyes. She tilted her head this way and that, trying to understand what he was, why he had picked her up. He wasn't the Big One, who had sung her to sleep. Nor was he the Stinky One, who had found and fed her. But he seemed like them, somehow. Curiously, she sniffed him.

He had a very strong scent, similar to the Stinky One, but also smelled of smoke. He must be the Smokey One. The Big One and Stinky One had stood up as soon as the Smokey One picked her up, their movements nervous. She didn't really understand their words, but she heard them.

"Now, Pyro, friend," the Stinky One said, his big red hands moving carefully, "I know you can be...exuberant at times, but she is fragile. Please be careful."

"You not hurt Fluttershy, fire man!" the Big One said, smashing his fist into his palm.

The Smokey One stared at them for a time, then pulled her into a warm, tight, gentle embrace. Fluttershy smiled, nuzzling into his chest. He was nice. She liked him. She also licked him for good measure.

He couldn't believe it. Medic and Heavy were reacting to this...Fluttershy. They could see her. She was real. As unbridled joy filled him, he pulled her into a loving embrace. This little piece of paradise, this little piece of hope, this child of the rainbow lands...

He felt her nuzzle his chest. He felt her small tongue on his uniform. He gently stroked her mane. "Hnngaw!" he managed to force through his mask. He never really understood what the missions were about when they were assigned. All he ever knew was that his job was to prance around and 'spread rainbows' to anyone that wasn't on his team...and everything that wasn't the fortress. Now he had a new mission, a personal one.

This little one...he would protect her. He would take care of her. He would love her. And some day, she would guide him to the rainbow land.

As he let himself slip back into delusion, she remained unchanged in his vision, leaving colorful hoofprints in the drab grey world. As she wriggled in his arms, he set her down on the floor. She scampered away to explore, and he ran after her with Heavy and Medic, a smile somehow visible despite the gas mask.

Engineer sat calmly, his acoustic guitar resting on his knee as he gently strummed it. He had tried building a few things earlier, but with nothing serious to test his weapons on, he was left with only his guitar to pass the time. Not that he minded. His music was just as much a passion as his inventions.

However, as he finished readying himself to play, the autoguns set up around him swiveled, responding to movement. Hearing four distinct sets of footfalls - three he recognized as his comrades, one those of a small animal - he switched the cannons from 'auto fire' to 'track movement'.

Fluttershy ran up and skidded to a halt as she saw the metal constructs pointing at her, tilting her head curiously. She wasn't afraid, as she knew the Big One, the Stinky One, and the Smokey One were all right behind her and would take care of her. Instead, she walked up past them to sniff the man who sat amongst them. He smelled of the metal constructs, and of the wood and oils of his instrument. She heard the notes drifting from it, and sat to listen to the Music Man.

Engineer stared dumbfounded at what he saw, standing there sniffing him. "Well that's something I sure never expected to see," he said softly, shaking his head. He continued tuning his guitar, playing a few notes. When she sat down to listen, he chuckled, and began to play.

He watched the filly listen as he played over and over, her head waving back and forth with the music. Medic was the first to speak up. "This is...not your usual choice in music," he noted.

Engineer shrugged. "Fluttershy sure seems to like it," he replied, smiling.

Heavy blinked. "How you know we name malyutka Fluttershy?"

Engineer chuckled in response, shaking his head in wonder of coincidence. "Lucky guess," he said calmly, continuing to play. His smile widened as Fluttershy tilted her head back, her soft, sweet voice singing along to his music without words. "So where'd she come from?"

"I am not sure," Medic replied. "I found her in a paper bag inside the base, surrounded by other animals sitting peacefully, even those that normally preyed on each other."

"Heavy only met her in kitchen, where she ate all of Sandvich but meat."

Pyro leaned down to pet Fluttershy again, having nothing to add.

"Well, we might as well introduce her to the others...slowly," Engineer pointed out. "Don't want to overwhelm her. She's just a little filly, after all."

Medic looked at his technologically gifted companion carefully. "You know something," he said suspiciously.

"Do I?" Engineer asked calmly, continuing to play for the happily singing filly.

Fluttershy continued to sing along to the pretty music. The nice men were all around her, and she was safe. With no shadows in her mind, her heart, or in the world around her, she had nothing but hope for the future, and joy in her heart.

3: Orders, Secrets, Patience

Soldier marched determinedly on his patrol through the fortress, examining the plain wood and stone walls carefully for even the smallest of changes, occasionally rolling between alcoves on the assumption that enemies might be targeting him. Just because it had been an eternity since the last engagement - three days, in truth - he wouldn't let his skills wear away or his readiness weaken. He would always be constantly vigilant, for his own sake, his team's sake, and the sake of the mission...even if his team was a group of ungrateful bastards who didn't appreciate what he did for them, and half of them weren't even American! There were days he wondered why he put forth so much effort for these slackers.

And speak of the devil, as he thought of them, he saw four members of his team at complete ease when they should be at alert! Engineer was playing his guitar, and Heavy, Medic, and Pyro were gathered around him happily. There was another sound, but Soldier ignored it for now as he stormed up to them. "And just what do you think you're doing, you worthless maggots?" he bellowed in his parade ground voice. "Here we are in a new base with unknown dangers, and you lot are playing like you were back in boot camp! Get back to you-"

At that moment, something happened that Soldier would never have believed if he wasn't experiencing it. Heavy had him by the throat and was squeezing. "No shouting," Heavy said firmly. "You scare Fluttershy."

Soldier blinked. "Fluttershy?" He yelled again. "What the-" He chocked as Heavy applied pressure to his voice box. "What the hell is a Fluttershy?" he finished more quietly.

Soldier heard a quiet whimper. The pony in question slowly extended her head from behind Heavy's boot, staring up at Soldier in fear, shivering.

Staring down at her, Soldier did his best to maintain his self control. Despite his hardened disposition, his intense training, and his years of patriotic slaughter, there were some things that Soldier was helpless against...and one of those things was cute, fluffy animals. It was why he was so playful with and protective of Lt. Bites, his raccoon. And the filly before him was one of the most adorable little animals he had ever seen. Now, he worked hard - very hard - to make sure no one knew about this soft spot. He would only play with Lt. Bites when he was absolutely certain that no one could observe him, and then only in short bursts, and he actively avoided any area he might meet up with any animal smaller than a cougar. Unfortunately, he now found himself confronted with his greatest weakness distilled into its most potent form.

As Heavy released his throat, he stared down at the filly, doing his best to maintain his equanimity. "Didn't know we were running a day care," he managed to get out. "Where did she come from?"

"I found her in a paper bag," Medic explained. "No idea how she got there."

Soldier struggled not to picture the tiny creature in a paper bag. He could not afford to appear mushy in front of his men. "So? Why is she still here, then?"

"The bag was inside the fortress," Medic explained. "We are here to protect the fortress. Perhaps she is part of our mission?"

Soldier seized on this. "Right! Until we receive further orders on this matter, we will protect this filly in the same way we protect this fortress!" He leaned down over her. "Now then, Fluttershy-" He shuddered internally as he resisted the cuteness of that name. "This means you behave yourself, understood? No running off, no mischief, and you do what we say. Understand?"

Once Soldier had quieted down, Fluttershy had become much more comfortable around him. She smiled up at him as he lectured her on how she was supposed to behave. As he finished, she hopped up onto her hind hooves and kissed him right on his nose before falling back to all fours.

Soldier shot back to straight up. "None of that, now!" he said quickly, rubbing at his nose. As Heavy started laughing, he spun. "What are you laughing at, you Russian nincompoop?"

Fluttershy smiled up as the Loud One shouted at the Big One. When he'd bent over her, she'd seen the kindness in his eyes, half hidden under his helmet. It was why she had kissed his nose; she knew he was yet another who would take care of her and be nice. Once she knew that, his shouting didn't bother her as much, especially as the others didn't seem to mind him so much. She felt safe and warm, surrounded by the six red men.

Six? She'd only met five. The Stinky One, the Big One, the Smokey One, the Music Man, and the Loud One. But there was another here, standing behind the Music Man and leaning against the stone wall. He was red, too, but there were other colors around him, and the others didn't seem to notice him.

However, Fluttershy was sure of one thing. She had met five red individuals, and they all were nice and taking care of her. To her still unformed mind, that meant that red was good. This man was red, ergo he was good. Trotting up, she promptly began nuzzling his leg. The extra colors faded as he looked down at her in surprise.

Spy chuckled as he suppressed his shock. "This little one has some impressive abilities," he said calmly, gently scooping her into his arms.

Soldier jumped in shock and spun, as did the others. "Spy! Dammit frenchie, I've told you not to go invisible outside a mission! I've told you hundreds of times you only sneak up on the enemy!"

"And you still think I will listen," Spy replied calmly, chuckling. "But you are overlooking something rather intriguing, you gun toting moron. She walked straight up to me and nuzzled my leg...while I was cloaked."

Soldier blinked. "I fail to see your point."

"Much as you fail to see me when I am cloaked. Unlike this little one." Spy tenderly stroked Fluttershy's mane. "How did you do that, Fluttershy?"

As Fluttershy nuzzled Spy's chest, Medic spoke up. "Your cloak is designed to fool human vision, focusing on the human visual spectrum. It is possible her eyes see a different or wider spectrum, allowing her to see your cloak as a separate set of colors."

"Somebody explain this to me in military talk!" Soldier demanded.

"Fluttershy can point out invisible spies," Heavy chuckled. "That is impressive."

Spy rolled his eyes. "It seems I must reassess the order in which I had ranked all of your intelligences." Feeling Fluttershy squirm in his arms, he gently set her down...only for her to buzz her wings and zip off into the air. "She can fly, too?"

"Quick!" Soldier shouted. "After her!" The entire group immediately tromped after the flying filly.

Fluttershy giggled as she flew through the air, the Red Men chasing after her. This was a fun game! She continued to buzz around, eventually finding her way to a large tower. Curious, she flew up towards the top, coming eye to hole with a metal tube. She stuck her eye in to see what it was.

To say that Sniper was confused was an understatement. He had just finished cleaning his rifle before holding it up to check the sight, only to see a floating yellow and pink form appear through the scope. Pulling back from the scope, he saw the small creature looking in the barrel. He set his gun down.

He watched carefully as the small creature buzzed in and settled on his lap, nuzzling him. Uncertain, he gently stroked her mane. "Maybe I ought to switch to decaf," he said nervously. "There's a tiny pony in my lap."

"Is not the coffee!" Heavy shouted up from the base of the observation tower. "Fluttershy really is tiny winged pony!"

Sniper raised an eyebrow. "That so?" He gave her a firmer caress, now more sure that his senses weren't playing tricks on him. "And you flew up here just to see me?"

Fluttershy smiled up at him...and then her stomach gurgled. She whimpered, closing her hind legs and hopping from one foreleg to the other in his lap.

Easily recognizing what her movements meant, he quickly unscrewed one of his jars, lifted her up, and braced her hind legs on the rim of the jar while he held her up. "Go ahead," he said. "Let it out."

Nodding, Fluttershy closed her eyes. The top of the tower then echoed to the sound of tinkling, followed by a few plops. Fluttershy then let out a relieved sigh. Sniper pulled out a piece of toilet paper, wiped her clean, then dropped it in the jar before sealing it back up. "All better?" he asked her, setting her down in his lap once more. She nodded happily.

"If that was a fresh jar, may I have it?" Medic asked. "I can learn more of her nature from her leavings, so we can better take care of her."

Sniper shrugged. "Sure thing, Doc. Mind if I keep the Sheila up here for a while?" He handed the jar to Medic, who had climbed the ladder.

Medic smiled. "She certainly seems happy up here." Giving Fluttershy another pet, he took the jar and climbed down the ladder. "I will be in my lab if anyone needs me!"

As Medic headed out, Sniper smiled as he continued to pet Fluttershy. She sat in silence, enjoying his caresses.

4: Bombs, Brags, and Bitches

Demoman was drunk. Not big surprise.

Given his passion for alcohol and its lack of availability in his homeland, his preferred leisure activity when working for Mann Co. was to drink. Now, since he didn't believe in self control - much like the rest of the team - this meant he almost always drank to excess, until he was raving drunk. This, of course, had Soldier yelling at him for being drunk on duty, which he ignored. Besides, the stuff tasted great.

As he staggered through the fortress, he sang as he continued to swig from his jug.

"...Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees

Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees

And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.

O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize"

He took another swig from his jug before bellowing out the last two lines of his song.

"Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."

He held his voice on the last note, before ending on a loud belch. Chuckling happily, he took another swig from his empty jug. "Huh, need some more." He staggered into the kitchen, popped open the fridge, and grabbed his last jug. "I'm gonna need some more soon." As he turned around, however, he could only stare. "Then again, maybe I've had too much."

"And what possible reason could make the need for moderation in liquor percolate into the lump of rock you refer to as your brain?" Spy asked snidely from the his position leaning against the wall.

"I see a bunch of candy colored ponies on the table eating Heavy's fingers," Demoman replied drunkenly.

Heavy chuckled. "Still drunk, but only one pony." He laughed as Fluttershy playfully mouthed his massive finger.

Demoman nearly dropped his jug. "Really?"

"Had a hard time believing it meself," Sniper commented, leaning over to gently stroke Fluttershy's mane. "Right cutie, ain't she?"

Demoman staggered up to the table. He stared at the pony. Fluttershy stared back. He tilted his head. She tilted her head. He scratched his forehead. She pawed her ear with her forehoof. He shrugged his shoulders. She fluttered her wings. He rubbed his eyes. She covered hers with her hooves before uncovering them with a wide smile.

"I'm not drunk enough for this," he stated finally, taking a swig from his jug. Fluttershy promptly sucked on Heavy's finger again. "Hey! She's thirsty!" Scooping her up, he held the jug out to her. "Here you go, drink up!"

As everyone stood up and raced forward to stop it, Fluttershy took one whiff of the jug and fell back, seeming unconscious.

Demoman cracked up laughing as he set her down. "What a lightweight!" he bellowed with a laugh.

"Stupid drunk bomber not give Fluttershy booze! Bad for malyutka!" Heavy shouted, obviously angry.

"Chill!" Demoman slurred to them all. "I wouldn't actually give her any of my booze. I'm not that drunk." He took another swig from his jug. "Sides, she's fine." Leaning over, he rubbed the filly's soft belly.

Fluttershy squirmed, giggling, then cuddled up to Demoman's hand.

Setting his jug down, he stroked her mane. "About time there was something other than battle to smile about on one of these jobs."

Soldier said nothing to that, standing unnecessarily at attention. Spy smiled softly. Sniper lowered his hat, grinning. Heavy laughed happily. Engineer watched calmly. Pyro hovered protectively.

Medic watched in interest. At first, it seemed like we were here to see if we would tear ourselves apart. Now, Fluttershy seems to be pulling us closer and closer together. Only one other remains unclaimed by her charms...

"Yo! What's everyone doing all gathered in the kitchen? We get new food or something?" Scout leapt in, landing lightly at the table. His eyes were immediately drawn to Fluttershy. "...that's not food. Or at least I hope not. Don't think I could eat anything that cute."

As everyone else stared at him in shock, Fluttershy looked up at him with a huge smile. Her wings fluttered as she slowly rose into the air, managing to get her forehooves over his arm.

"Well hey there little lady," he said, slipping his other hand under her butt to stabilize her. "Like these gluts, huh? Yeah, no lady can resist 'em." He lifted her into his other arm. "Check this. HRNG!" He clenched his body as he attempted to flex his arm.

Fluttershy stared at the arm, poking at the muscle that still seemed puny.

"You like that, huh? Well, let me tell you a few things, um...what's her name?"

"Her name Fluttershy," Heavy said calmly.

"Fluttershy?" Scout asked curiously. "Sounds like a character from a TV show for little girls." He turned back to Fluttershy. "Anyway, Shy, let me just tell you a few stories about how awesome I am."

Fluttershy stared up at the Noisy One in interest, fascinated by the play of emotion, shift of expression, and energy of gesticulations he used as he told his stories. She couldn't really understand what he was saying, but she gathered that didn't really matter to him. He was saying and doing all this to entertain her - and he was entertaining - and he reveled in the rapt attention she paid him. There was something familiar, comfortable, about the way he went on and on about himself, making her feel absolutely safe in his arm. With the Jug Head, he was nice but had offered the Stinky Stuff. She didn't like the Stinky Stuff. But the Noisy One just wanted to talk, and wanted her to listen.

She liked that. She liked listening. She liked how happy he seemed to be that she was listening to his every word, even if she didn't understand any of them. Seeing that joy in him, she struggled against her drooping eyelids.

"-so anyway, then I pulled out my bat and Boink, down he goes like a sack of potatoes, head bashed in and there wasn't even any blood or hair on my bat. Must have just caved right in due to an absence of brains. He sure was an idiot if he walked right into that one, right Shy-" Scout paused in his rambling as he saw Fluttershy yawn, her eyes starting to droop. "Oh, you're tired? Here." Scout quickly pulled off the jacket he was wearing and wrapped her up in it. He then sat down in a chair, rocking back and forth as he held Fluttershy in his arms.

Fluttershy looked up at him, smiling widely, and then let her head fall against his chest, slipping into deep sleep.

Everyone else simply stared. Heavy was finally the first to speak up. "I not believe it if I not see it...Fluttershy make Scout shut up."

"She is truly a miraculous creature, my large friend," Spy added.

"You said it," Engineer added.

"Shush!" Scout hissed intently. "You'll wake her."

Engineer stared. "Did Scout just shush me?"

"He does have a point," Soldier whispered.

"Another miracle?" Medic suggested.

"I'll drink to that," Demoman whispered, taking another swig.

The group slowly and quietly gathered around the tiny creature who had so quickly claimed all of their hearts.

Helen stared carefully at the screen recording the feed from the new fortress. Her eyes were locked on the small creature wrapped in Scout's jacket. While everyone else who had seen the filly saw adorability, helplessness, or innocence...Helen saw opportunity and profit.

As she heard someone approaching behind her, she spoke up. "Yes, Pauline?"

Pauline shivered. Even after all this time, Helen made her nervous. "An unusual request has come from Fort Bumfuk," she began (the fortress so named because, as Soldier said, it was "in the middle of Bumfuk nowhere"). "It is in regard to their next food resupply."

"What do they want?" Helen asked, though she felt she could likely guess.

"They want...vegetarian baby food and...formula?" Pauline's confusion was plain in her voice.

"Grant it," Helen said without hesitation. "High quality stuff only. Straight from a farm, none of that factory made dreck. Also, increase the overall quality of all other foodstuffs we send them by 30%."

Pauline gaped. "B-but..." She covered her mouth before she could continue.

Helen rotated her chair around to stare at Pauline. "Yes?"

Trapped, Pauline spoke. "This...would increase Fort Bumfuk related expenses by 200%. Won't Mr. Hale have a problem with the...wasted funds?"

Helen chuckled. The sound sent chills down Pauline's spine. "Do you remember why we stuck them out in that fortress?"

Pauline nodded. "Unusual energy readings were detected. The fortress was built to analyze the readings, and the team was sent to guard the fort."

"And do you remember what we did to keep that overgrown ape Saxton from asking questions?"

"You...you told him that we were going to broadcast an underground show of what happens to the team in the fortress, and let people at home watch them fall apart and tear each other apart?"

"Exactly," Helen replied, a wide grin on her face. "All that matters to Hale as far as this project is blood and profit. And that filly right there-" She pointed straight at the image of Fluttershy, now tucked in beside Heavy's mini-gun Sasha, cuddled up to it. "Is worth more than all the Australium in Hale's vault! The strange energy readings we picked up? She's a mobile source. And as far as the 'show'?" She pointed to another screen, showing ratings for the show, with a sudden spike not long ago. "Viewership multiplied by ten when that filly showed up, and it's been steadily growing. Requests are already coming in from fans - fans - wanting figurines of Fluttershy, or of Heavy holding Fluttershy, or of Fluttershy singing with Engineer...just imagine the profit margins there! This show will be raking in billions before the month is out!"

Pauline's eyes widened. "People really love her that much?"

"Her, and those bumbling buffoons taking care of her. See how quickly they fell under her spell? How tender and compassionate they are with her? That sells big. Now imagine how well it'll sell, once that filly's a little older...when they have to fight to protect her?" Helen's grin was sadistic. "When they know in their heart of hearts...that one lost battle means they will never see her again?" She turned back to the screen. "Such authentic emotion from these cretins will make us trillions! So yes, I will authorize an extra few hundred thousand in expenses per month. Barely a drop in the bucket compared to what we'll get.

"Now go see to it."

Pauline shuddered, quickly leaving the room to see to the new orders.

Once she was alone, Helen grinned even wider. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, she thought silently. That filly came from somewhere...and no one would let such a helpless creature vanish without tracking her down. A Pegasus, a creature out of myth...obviously from a world of myth. The potential in such a world... And they won't come to retrieve her until they can return safely. And where they go...I can follow. And then the real profit begins.

Author's Note

I have decided that, at one point in the story, each of the characters will be getting a unique hat derived from my imagination. I have no idea if they will resemble anything from the actual game.

For various reasons, Scout's will be a lampshade.

5: Responsibilities

Heavy smiled as he carried a still somewhat drowsy Fluttershy back to the kitchen the following morning, Sasha strapped to his back. Fluttershy was still wrapped up in Scout's jacket, though she had one hoof out to pat Sasha. Heavy had tucked her in along with his mini-gun, and had rolled over several times to pet her each time her sleep began to be disturbed, lulling her easily back to sleep. Such instincts were ingrained in him after years taking care of his family back in the frozen regions of far northern Russia. He was rather surprised to find seven of his eight colleagues waiting for them in the kitchen. He wasn't sure if the bigger surprise was how patiently they were waiting for him, or the fact that Soldier was conspicuously absent.

As Heavy walked in, Engineer gently took Fluttershy from him and placed her in a carefully configured high chair, letting her sit comfortably while bracing herself on the food shelf that kept her in place. "Nice chair," Heavy said approvingly.

"Built it after you put her to bed," Engineer replied. "Thought it'd be a good place to feed her.

"Speaking of," Medic asked, "have we a plan on what we will feed her?"

"Got it covered!" Scout spoke up. "Check it out!" He pulled two large bags out of the fridge. "The food resupply showed up in the night, and it included some stuff for her!" He pulled out the contents of the bag. "Vegetarian baby food, and...goat's milk?"

"A good choice," Sniper spoke up. "While we don't know her exact natural diet or dietary needs beyond not eating meat, goat's milk is a good go to for any animal still needing mother's milk. It's milder than cow's milk, and has a good nutrient mix for any nursing critter."

"How you know all that?" Demoman asked.

"I used to hunt big game," Sniper replied. "Best way to learn that is to learn their behaviors. Talked to a few groups that took in orphaned critters to hand raise for zoos."

Spy smiled. "I didn't expect Mann Co to approve my request. I am pleasantly surprised."

Grunting happily through his mask, Pyro waved a huge package of diapers and a bag of baby bottles.

"All of it, it seems," Spy marveled.

"I know," Scout added, shaking his head. "And the other foodstuffs are like, 20% better at least. The lettuce is actually crisp!"

Heavy finished filling a baby bottle with goat's milk, capped it with the nipple, and scooped Fluttershy into the crook of his arm. "Drink up, Fluttershy!" he directed happily. Fluttershy, for her part, locked her mouth around the nipple and drank eagerly.

Medic finished opening and prepping a serving of the baby food. "Where do we keep the spoons?" he asked.

"Here," Spy said calmly, fishing a spoon out of a drawer. He paused to scrub it extra clean. He then handed it to Medic.

Fluttershy, meanwhile, had finished her bottle of goat's milk. Heavy then put her to his shoulder and gently rubbed and patter her back with a single finger. She let out a quiet burp. Sniper then took her from Heavy and quickly put her into a fresh diaper before setting her down in the high chair. At first, she wriggled a bit, not really liking the baggy limp on her rear end, but was quickly distracted by the spoonful of baby food Medic held out to her.

Medic smiled as she eagerly gobbled down the small mouthful. "So cute," he marveled quietly.

"Hey! I want a turn!" Scout complained, taking the spoon and scooping another mouthful for Fluttershy, which was just as eagerly accepted.

The spoon passed from hand to hand as each of them took a turn feeding Fluttershy. She plainly enjoyed every minute of it. Oddly, she was the only one who didn't jump at the sudden shout.

"What do you no good layabouts think you're doing?" Soldier bellowed as he came into the room. He glared around at them all. "I know I said we'd look after Fluttershy, but does it really take 8 grown men to feed one tiny filly? Are you all that incompetent that it takes all the brains the eight of you have put together to figure out how to work a bottle, a high chair, and a spoon? Besides that, do you really want to give her so much excitement that she returns her breakfast to you?"

The men gathered around the high chair actually managed to look abashed. While they had been excited about taking care of Fluttershy, Soldier was actually right that this was a bit over the top. Scout was the first to speak. "You're just upset you haven't got a chance to feed her yet," he quipped halfheartedly.

Striding forward, Soldier took the spoon from Demoman, spooned up the last bit of the food, and slipped it into Fluttershy's eagerly awaiting mouth, hiding a smile at the excited buzzing of her wings. "Any personal desires in the matter are entirely irrelevant. The point is that we need to be responsible in tending her, which means not having all of us hovering over her 24/7. Besides, we still need to protect and patrol the fort!"

"You are suggesting we work in shifts," Spy deduced.

"That's right! We each take care of her at different times, making sure she spends time with everyone. No one shirks duty on my watch! Not even doody duty!"

"I think Pyro and I could handle all diaper changes, whichever of us is available," Sniper spoke up. "Ever since I trained in Jarate, smells don't bother me at all. And Pyro's already got his gas mask." Pyro nodded eagerly in agreement.

"And I will handle disposing of the soiled ones," Medic spoke up. "The more samples I can get, the more I can learn, and the better we can take care of her."

"Right!" Soldier asserted. "Then those will be your duties at all times, should the need arise. The rest of us should take shifts-" He noticed Scout waving his hand. "...Scout, are you actually waiting for your turn to speak?"

"Well, if I interrupted you, you'd start yelling, and that'd upset Fluttershy," Scout pointed out logically.

Soldier stared for a time. "Go ahead," he said.

"Well, I know we're worried about Fluttershy being overstimulated, but she got really happy when you came in. I think she really likes having all nine of us around." He pointed to how Fluttershy was bouncing happily, buzzing her wings as her eyes swung from one to the other. "So maybe we should schedule in the shifts a time where all of us took care of her?"

Demoman grinned. "A sort of Family Time?" he suggested.

"Yeah," Scout said, obviously a little weirded out by thinking of the group as a family. A quick glance showed he wasn't the only one. "Maybe an entire day where we all take time for her?"

As everyone else nodded, Soldier spoke up. "Not a bad idea. We need her to be completely comfortable with all of us, and being completely comfortable with each other would be a good start to that. That leaves six days a week to divide into shifts. If we divide each day into three shifts, each of us can take a shift twice a week." As everyone nodded in agreement, Soldier marveled that - for once - they were working together outside of combat as a cohesive unit...a family, as Demoman had put it. "I suggest a morning, a midday, and an evening shift."

"One problem," Heavy countered. "Fluttershy sleeps cuddled up to Sasha. That mean I wake her up and put her to bed."

Soldier frowned. "I don't see the problem."

"Fluttershy is baby. She wake up when she wake up, sleep when tired. How we schedule shifts around random?"

Soldier blinked in response. "A valid point." He rubbed his chin in thought.

"How about we work with a three week schedule?" Engineer suggested. "With one day a week to Family time, that leaves 18 days to divide up between the nine of us. Two each."

Grinning, Soldier pulled out a notepad and began drawing up the schedule. He quickly filled it in before showing it to everyone. "Seem fair?" he asked.

They all looked at it for a time. They all eventually nodded. Spy spoke up. "I notice you scheduled today as the first 'Family' day," he commented, remaining silent on the fact that Soldier had actually labeled it that.

Soldier shrugged. "Well we're already doing that," he pointed out. "Might as well make it the full day."

Gurgling happily behind his mask, Pyro tied on an apron that read "Kill the Cook" and began preparing food for everyone from the new supplies.

Soldier glanced at his masked comrade nervously. "Can he actually cook?"

"Quite well, actually," Spy commented. "He is truly an artist of the flame."

"I know that, but what about food?"

Sniper chuckled. "No worries, mate. He'll do alright."

Nodding, Soldier sat down at the head of the table, idly lifting the now well fed Fluttershy from the high chair and wiping her face with a handkerchief. She giggled and nuzzled into his chest.

Author's Note

The next ten chapters will be one-on-one time between Fluttershy and each of the mercs taking care of her, as they each get their day. I haven't decided the order, so next chapter will be whoever everyone wants to see most. So...comment away.

6: Burning Passion

Pyro hummed happily to himself as he rapidly chopped meat, vegetables, and potatoes as he stood at the kitchen counter. He took his time with each chop, as he was in no rush to finish. The entire group had just had breakfast, after all, and he was preparing dinner. He'd decided a nice, rich, thick stew would be perfect for feeding the huge group. Besides, it let him show his skills in the kitchen off. Spy's recommendation placed him as the primary chef for the group, and he loved how easily his candy cane sunk into the mouths of BLU cherubs-

He paused, closing his eyes as he shook himself again. He didn't need the delusion here. He didn't want it here. He wanted to be normal, healthy, stable. He wanted to be a good parent to Fluttershy. She needed to grow up healthy if she was to take him to Rainbow Land.

Opening his eyes, he once more saw his knife, meat, and vegetables. He turned to his left. There she sat, the rainbow child that so disturbed and invigorated him. She stared up at him, the living rainbow pouring off of her in gentle waves, filling the air around her with foreign color. As he held his hand out to her, she nuzzled him. He gently stroked her head. His mind and body calmed.

He turned back to his work, cutting the ingredients to proper size. He then began braising the beef while he sautéed the vegetables and potatoes, getting everything to the right level of cooking while he prepared the stock. Here he let the rainbows back in carefully, watching the ebb and flow of Rainbow Land as it showed him right when to shift each and every lollipop to make the sparkles become the colors he wanted as they fell into the pot of gold, candies sparkling as they leaped from the pot before falling back in. Happily he added stardust, sprinkles, balloons, marshmallows, butterflies, and apple juice. Taking his mirror, he plunged it into the pot of gold to stir the sparkles into a rainbow slushie, perfect for toppings.

He felt the touch of a small hoof on his arm, and turned. Rainbow Land faded away slowly as he saw Fluttershy staring at the stock pot, her mouth beginning to water. He turned his eyes back. The stock had reached the right heat setting, and the seasonings he'd added were making it release a truly mouth-watering aroma...if his gas mask allowed him to smell it, at any rate.

He happily lifted his spoon from the pot, taking a very small bit of stock with it, holding it carefully over his hand. He blew through his mask several times to cool it, then held it out to Fluttershy to taste. It had been discovered the previous day that, while Fluttershy refused to eat anything made of meat, meat flavors were perfectly fine, and drew her in. So the meaty base of the stock for the stew was perfectly okay for her.

She blew on the spoon a few times herself, then carefully lapped the stock from it. She smiled happily, obviously loving the taste. Pyro smiled happily under his mask. He always enjoyed seeing the smiles he spread, whether with his food, his rambunctious behavior, or his rainbow wand...

He turned back to the pot, stirring a bit more as he made sure nothing stuck to the sides of the pot. Setting the spoon aside, he let the pot simmer to slow cook the stew till evening. He then began preparing a cold lunch for everyone. He struggled to keep himself from slipping back in.

It was hard, so very hard...so much harder than it had been. He'd always believed that Rainbow Land was a product of his own mind, and that conviction allowed him to control when he was in the delusion and when he was in reality. However, Fluttershy made him question. She was real, but she was of the Rainbow Land. Did that mean the Rainbow Land was real?

These questions made the line between the delusion and reality blur, as he began to wonder if it really was delusion. What could Rainbow Land be? If its energy poured from Fluttershy's body, she was from it. If she came from it, it was real. If it was real, then did he somehow slip into it when the world he knew was more than he could take? Where was Rainbow Land, then? Here and not here at the same time?

"HRRRGH!" he finally groaned out, clutching his head as he sank onto his rear, letting the floor catch him. The questions never stopped. He understood so much, could read the world so well. When the team had broken up before the onslaught of the robots, he had made several fortunes running various companies, though he hadn't enjoyed it. He was brilliant, but he couldn't communicate with anyone...and the questions tore his mind apart with their inability to find answers.

A concerned mewl came from his lap. Fluttershy sat there, her forehooves rested against his chest as she stretched up, nuzzling his mask as she stared worriedly up at him.

Pushing his own pain aside, he quickly stroked her mane and under her chin, struggling to reassure her. The more he thought about these things, the harder they were to answer or face...but just spending time with Fluttershy helped him to push it aside. As he held and caressed her, it almost felt like the rainbow light she gave off infused him, pushing aside his stress and replacing it with joy. Standing up, he held her under one arm as he finished making everyone's preferred cold lunch.

Setting them aside, he then prepped another dish of baby food for Fluttershy. They had all agreed that, since they had no idea what sort of creature she was really, they would feed her when she was hungry, until she was full, and then treat her like any infant. He'd felt her stomach rumbling under his hand, so he fished out a clean spoon and began to feed her, still holding her. She really liked being held while she ate.

Once she finished eating, he sat and cuddled her. She didn't like moving around too soon after eating, so he pulled out a coloring book. Laying it down on the table, he pulled out the crayons. He then colored with Fluttershy. She wasn't big enough to hold the crayons yet, but he got around that by doing a color-by-number style. He'd point to an area on the picture, Fluttershy would point to the crayon, and he'd use that color until she pointed to another. They both loved doing this as a leisure activity.

After a time, though, she began to futz, as she wanted to move. Setting her down, he pulled out what he had prepared for this moment. A brightly colored, fluffy ball quickly drew Fluttershy's attention. Seeing her looking up at it in wonder, he dropped it. As it bounced on the floor, it tingled.

Fluttershy ducked behind his boot, hiding from the noise. When it didn't come again, she stepped out carefully, staring at the ball. After a bit, she slowly walked towards it, and gently batted it with a hoof. It tingled as it moved in response to her hoof. She pulled back, but not as far. Walking forward, she batted it again. As she realized the noise came as a response to the ball moving, and she could move the ball, she became curious and excited. She began batting the ball rapidly in eagerness as she chased it across the floor.

Pyro laughed happily as he sat down to watch, keeping a careful eye on her as she played. Her innocent exuberance eased his troubled mind. Perhaps answers weren't as important as joy.

7: Explosive Intervention

Demoman chuckled as he took a deep swig from his jug before turning to the filly in his arm. "So, what should we do today, Fluttershy?" he asked before belching.

Fluttershy merely smiled up at him before nuzzling into his chest. She was perfectly content to be in his company, though she still wrinkled her nose at the scent of his breath, making him guffaw.

"Don't care, huh?" he bellowed. He rubbed his jaw. "Let's see...what's there to do around here..." He shrugged. "Might as well check on my mixes." Turning, he carried Fluttershy to an area of the fortress that lacked a roof but had highly reinforced walls and showed numerous signs of blast damage all over. Inside were several barrels, numerous jars of various chemicals, and various chemistry equipment. He grinned down at the filly. "This is where I make my bombs!" he proclaimed proudly. "Like it?"

Fluttershy gazed about the room in awe, her wings buzzing as she wanted to look around at all the shiny things.

Demoman waved his finger in front of her face. "No," he said quickly. "These things aren't toys." He set her down near one of the already full barrels. "Can you sit still and be good while I work?" When she nodded, he chuckled. "Good girl."

With that, Demoman got to work, pouring the contents of the various jars into the barrels and stirring, all along singing drunkenly as he continued to drink from his jug. He knew how to do all this, and he wasn't all that concerned. After all, if he made a mistake, he'd just respawn. And so he continued to drink from his jug repeatedly, becoming more muddle headed as he went.

Fluttershy, meanwhile, watched in curious interest. She didn't fully understand what he was doing, but could tell he was having fun. She wanted to have fun, too. However, he'd told her to sit still and be good, so that's what she was doing. However, the various smells were doing a real number on her curiosity. She really wanted to investigate what all the smells were.

Thinking carefully, she observed all his actions. She wasn't supposed to interrupt his work...but he hadn't been doing anything with the barrel nearest her, which had a very interesting smell. Her unformed mind came to the conclusion that said barrel wasn't involved in his work, and investigating it therefore wouldn't interrupt his work. The rationalization and decision made, she stood up and rested her forehooves against the barrel. She buzzed her wings, intent on flying up to investigate the barrel, only for the barrel to tip. Scared, she quickly pulled back, only for the barrel to tip back towards her. The off balance barrel continued to wobble until Demoman - in his drunken dance - bumped into the swaying barrel, dumping its contents over Fluttershy.

Demoman yelled in shock, quickly tossing what he was holding a safe distance away, where it exploded safely. He quickly scooped up Fluttershy. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" He muttered quickly. "I need to get you cleaned off, I need to get water-" He stopped. "Wait, some of these explode in water!" He quickly lifted the barrel. "Unlabeled? Which mix was this?" He quickly struggled through his head to figure out what Fluttershy had been soaked in, but he was so muddled by the drink that he couldn't remember. "Demo you bampot!" he shouted at himself. "What were you thinking, bringing Fluttershy to the bomb barrels? She's not tied to the respawner!"

Fluttershy looked up at him in both confusion and sorrow as the liquid she'd been soaked in sank into her mane and coat. She knew she'd been bad, and was worried she would be punished. However, the interesting smell continued to assault her nose, and she realized it was coming from her now. Curious, she gave her hoof an experimental lick.

Seeing this, Demoman reacted. "No, Shy, don't!"

As she pulled her tongue back into her mouth, tasting the liquid in her fur, she swallowed. She blinked for a bit, then promptly slumped over in unconsciousness.

Demoman shrieked in fear.

Engineer, passing by, quickly ducked his head in. "Demo, what happened?"

Demoman looked up. "Engineer! One of my mixes spilled on Fluttershy, and she licked some! Now she's unconscious, and I don't know what to do!"

"What?" Engineer demanded in shock. "How did that happen? Why don't you know what to do? I thought you knew everything about your mixes?"

"Because I'm drunk!" he wailed. "I can't remember what the mix was, so I don't know what I need to do to clean her off safely or detox her or...or..." Tears started to fall from his single eye. "I don't know what to do..."

Engineer rested a hand on the Scotsman's shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll fix this. First, we need to get a sample of the mix, then run it down to Medic for him to figure out what it is."

"Right," Demoman replied, trying to stand.

"I'll get it," Engineer interrupted, approaching the upended barrel. Kneeling down, he pulled out a flask to scoop some up...and paused. "Demo, does one of your mixes use fruit?"

Demoman blinked. "No..."

"Well, there's some kinda fruit skin at the bottom of the barrel."

Demoman came over to examine the barrel's contents. Curiously, he dipped a finger in the liquid, and brought it to his lips. He cautiously licked. Relief flooded his features. "Oh, this was one of my brew barrels."

"Brew barrels?" Engineer asked curiously.

"For brewing my own drinks," Demoman replied. "I left some apple skins in the bottom for stronger flavor."

Engineer blinked. "Are you saying...Fluttershy's been soaked in Applejack?"

"Yup," Demoman said. At Engineer's groan, he added defensively, "What? I loves me some good applejack." Engineer only face palmed. Demoman carried Fluttershy to the sink and began to wash her off.

Engineer stood up. "Well, I'll leave her to you then," he said calmly. "Just keep her out of this room, okay?"

Demoman nodded, and Engineer left. As he continued to clean the filly, he was lost in his thoughts, though. He'd lucked out that it was only some fermented fruit juices that had spilled onto Fluttershy. It could easily have been an explosive chemical mix, and then Fluttershy would have blown up.

"And unlike me," he said softly, "you don't get to explode twice." He didn't notice Engineer banging his head on the wall just outside. "I need to be more careful...for your sake."

He glanced at the jug sitting innocently on the counter. Sighing to himself, he stuck the cork in. "I need to cut back," he said simply. "I can't let my mind become so fuddled that I forget what is what. I can't let this happen again."

Once Fluttershy was completely clean of the jacked cider, he grabbed a towel to dry her off. "Gotta be responsible for you, baby," he said softly, stroking the now dozing filly's face. He was glad to see she recovered quickly, even if she was a real lightweight. "Gotta be good for you."

Still dozing, Fluttershy nuzzled sleepily into the caress.

9: Exploratory Cuteness

Medic smiled as he cradled Fluttershy in his hands. "Tell me, Fraulein, are we ready to study medicine?" He chuckled at Fluttershy's eager nod. "Well, the first thing we need to know to practice medicine is anatomy, so let's begin the lesson. I've prepared a study area, so just poke around and I'll tell you what's what. How'd that sound?" Fluttershy squee'd, her wings bussing. "Just be careful with your wings, don't want to make a mess." As Fluttershy smiled, folding her wings flat to her sides, he set her down in the prepared study area.

Looking around, Fluttershy poked a small, bulbous thing off to one side.

Medic smiled. "That is the appendix. Not sure what it does, but it's fragile, so don't poke it too much. No, Fluttershy, it is not a chew toy!"

Giggling, Fluttershy turned around, glancing at the sticky stuff getting in her mane and coat.

"That is blood, Fluttershy. Everyone has it inside them. It's often fun finding new and exciting ways to get it out of them, though." At Fluttershy's giggle, he added a caution. "Be careful of the intestines, though. Those are the loops and thick cord like things getting tangled around your hooves. If one of them breaks, then you'll have bowel fluids in the mix, and that's not nearly as fun. Stinks something awful, too." Medic then groaned. "Fluttershy, intestines are not for making necklaces. As cute as that looks, put them back."

Fluttershy giggled, disentangling herself as she poked at another large, bulbous thing.

"That is the liver," Medic explained. "It cleans the blood and recycles the dead blood cells." At Fluttershy's confused noise, he elaborated. "It takes things out of the blood that shouldn't be there, like alcohol." Fluttershy spread her hooves wide, and Medic laughed. "No, Demoman does not have an extra large one. However, I did improve its efficiency during his last physical."

As Fluttershy giggled, she glanced over at two other strange shapes, poking at them with a hoof.

"Those are kidneys. They filter out the blood." When Fluttershy pointed back at the liver, Medic laughed, pleased to see she was absorbing the lesson. "They filter out anything in the bloodstream that's no longer needed, including those things the body puts there as a natural function. It is called ultrafiltration."

Fluttershy nodded, turning to another large sack that sloshed.

"That is the stomach. It's where food goes after it's eaten, and where digestion begins." He reached in and tickled her tummy. "Right about here," he said as she squirmed. "Careful you don't break it, though."

Nodding, Fluttershy turned her eyes further into the study area, poking what looked like a pair of balloons.

"Those are the lungs. That's where air goes when you breathe."

"She learning good, Doctor?" Heavy asked.

"It seems like she is absorbing the lesson," Medic replied. "Children under the age of five do absorb new things far more rapidly than those who are older. Thanks again for helping me with the lesson."

"Is no problem, Doctor," Heavy replied happily. "Anything for Fluttershy-ooph!"

"Careful, Fluttershy," Medic cautioned. "That is the heart, which keeps us alive by pumping blood. And the metal thing is the interface for my Medi-gun, for both standard and overcharge healing. It's not good for it to be poked."

Fluttershy squeaked curiously, turning her eyes up to the large size medi-gun that hung down from the ceiling.

Laughing, Medic lifted Fluttershy out. "Want to see it in action?" Fluttershy nodded. "Finished studying anatomy?" Another nod. He set her down on a slab. "Alright, watch carefully." Swinging the medi-gun around, he switched it on.

Before long, Heavy's torso was completely sealed up. Even his uniform showed no signs of a hole. Heavy sat up. "That was fun, Doctor!" he said happily.

Medic grinned. "Glad you had fun." He turned to a happily clapping Fluttershy. "Glad you enjoyed the demonstration, too, Fluttershy. But now you need a bath." As she smiled up at him, waiting for him to pick her up, Medic turned to Heavy. "Aren't little ones supposed to hate bathing?"

"Only if it's not made to be fun, Doctor. You make it fun."

Nodding, Medic scooped up Fluttershy before carrying her over to a tub with a shower head suspended over it. He proceeded to use the comfortably warm water to scrub the blood and other fluids out of Fluttershy's coat, mane, and tail. She sat there in the tub, plainly enjoying the process. Once all the fluids were cleansed, Medic grabbed the shampoo that he'd mixed up for her coat and mane, proceeding to scrub that in. He couldn't help but smile at how luxuriant both looked once he was finished, and how soft they became. Once he'd washed the soap out, he grabbed the next bottle. "Spread your wings, please."

Smiling, Fluttershy spread her wings. Medic uncorked the bottle of feather soap he, Pyro, Engineer, Demoman, and Sniper had managed to formulate for the feathers of Fluttershy's wings. He carefully worked it into her small, downy feathers, gently working free any that had come loose and needed to be removed. Fluttershy, for her part, sighed happily at the ministration, needing Heavy to hold her up with one hand as she became completely relaxed from the gentle cleaning and preening.

Heavy suddenly belched, a small yellow feather coming out of his mouth. Catching it, he glance at Medic. "Perhaps we should have done preening before anatomy lesson, Doctor."

Medic glanced at the feather. "How did it get into your throat?" he wondered, continuing the preening. He glanced back at Fluttershy, seeing she'd almost dozed off. Shaking his head, he rinsed away the last of the soap before filling the tub with warm water. The added water woke her up as she began to splash a bit. Smiling, Medic lowered in a rubber ducky, which she hugged with a happy squee that was drowned out by the duck's noise.

Heavy shrugged. "She really likes animals," Heavy commented. "She need pet!"

"I don't think she's ready for the responsibility," Medic pointed out. "She isn't even old enough to take care of herself yet."

Heavy nodded. "I suppose. Though I think she might tame giant angry bear easy."

Medic raised an eyebrow. "And how do you arrive at that conclusion?"

"She tame us."

Medic paused, turning back to the happily splashing Fluttershy. "Perhaps," he murmured, smiling softly as Fluttershy ducked her head under the water to blow bubbles. "Perhaps."

10: Lighthearted

Heavy slowly opened his eyes, a huge grin already covering his face. Sitting up slowly, he turned to his left. There, in the little bed beside his, was Sasha, a blanket pulled up to cover his beloved mini-gun. And, curled up between the barrels and also covered, his even more beloved malyutka, Fluttershy. Stepping silently from his own bed, he gently removed Fluttershy from between Sasha's barrels, setting the filly down on his own pillow and covering her with part of the pillowcase. She barely stirred from the entire process. Since she wasn't awake yet, he took the time to tend to his mini-gun, gently polishing the entire construct and oiling the gears. Once that was done, he set Sasha down on his desk before turning to the window to watch the sun rise.

As the sunlight slowly marched across the room, a single shaft made its way up the bed until it shone gently on the back of Fluttershy's head, as Heavy had been careful to ensure that she was facing away from the window. He didn't want a ray of light shining into her closed eye to wake her up. However, the warm light of day on the back of her head was enough to make her stir and raise her head, blinking owlishly.

Heavy smiled widely as he moved to stand in her field of vision. "Dobroye utro, Fluttershy!" he said happily, sprinkling his native tongue into his speech with her as was his wont. "Did you sleep well?"

Fluttershy closed her eyes, rose to her hooves, and stretched like a cat, arching her back and spreading her wings as she silently yawned, her mouth opened wide before she relaxed her posture, looking up at him with a smile.

He chuckled as he scooped her up into his massive hands, where she was able to seat herself comfortably on his palm. "In that case, is breakfast time!" He clomped easily from his room towards the kitchen, noticing that - as usual - he was the only one up other than Soldier, who was playing with the teleporter in his room. Ignoring that, he walked easily into the kitchen where he gently placed Fluttershy into her high chair. "So Fluttershy," he asked good naturedly, "what you like for breakfast: milk or baby food?" He held up a bottle and a dish for her. She eagerly pointed to the bottle. "Alright!" he said, putting the dish away as he began heating up a bottle of goat's milk.

Once it was properly heated, Heavy checked the temperature to make sure it wasn't too hot by putting a drop on his own hand, and one on the carefully constructed temperature scale Engineer and Medic had designed because few if any of them had any idea of what was proper temperature for fluids being offered a child. Confirming both from his own experience and from the scale that it was proper temperature, he capped the bottle with the nipple and handed it to Fluttershy.

Smiling eagerly, she seized the bottle in her forehooves and positioned it to her mouth, latching onto the nipple and sucking eagerly. Heavy sat back to watch, staying close to make sure she didn't choke or have anything go down the wrong way. He needn't have worried, though, because she drank the entire bottle down without incident. When she set the bottle down, he scooped her up and rested her against a towel laid over his shoulder. Holding her there with one massive hand, he gently patted her back between her wings with one large finger. After a time, she let off a quiet burp.

That done, he returned her to being cradled in his hand. "So Fluttershy, what would you like do now?"

She tilted her head in thought, then pointed towards a shelf upon which several large print children's books were stacked.

Heavy chuckled. "You want me read to you?" At her eager nod, he went over to the shelf and scanned it, looking for a good title to read. In the end, he settled on her favorite, Clifford, the Big Red Dog. Settling her down on his leg, he opened the book where she could see the pages, and read it word by word, tracing the progress of the words with his finger. She followed along eagerly, although she often held up the story as she tried to pet the image of Clifford in the pictures. When that didn't work, she settled for petting Heavy.

He remained where he was until he had finished reading the entire story once through before closing the book. Picking up both book and filly, he returned the former to the shelf and - noticing a dampness - took the latter to Pyro for changing while he washed his hands. Once Fluttershy was changed, he took her to the kitchen where he made her a dish of mushy carrots, which she enjoyed immensely. He then picked her up carefully and carried her to the counter. Stoppering the sink, he filled it with three inches of water just slightly warmer than room temperature. He then divested Fluttershy of her diaper before setting her in carefully to wash the orange gunk from her coat. To distract her from any chance tugs of mane and coat that might hurt, he placed a small rubber ducky in the water with her. It had been made by Engineer, and had a voice chip inside. It floated and, when squeezed, quoted them in each of their voices.

"You are dead! Not big surprise!" Heavy always chuckled when his voice came out.

"UAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro's laugh, on the other hand, creeped him out even more coming from a rubber yellow duck.

"On your feet you worthless maggots!" Soldier's quote was indistinguishable from his normal voice, though humorous coming from a duck.

"It's time to practice medicine." Medic's words always seemed...unusually creepy coming from the duck.

"It needs to be about 20% cooler." Heavy had no idea who that was supposed to be, or why the voice reminded him of Scout, but Fluttershy was always happy when she heard it for some reason.

Once her bath was finished, he lifted her out and wrapped her in the towel. Then he pulled the plug, and let her watch the water drain away. She was always fascinated by that for some reason. Once the sink was empty, he dried her off gently but vigorously, getting all the water out of her coat, mane, and tail. Once he was finished, she shook herself a bit, and her coat, mane, and tail promptly fluffed up. Chuckling, Heavy brought out a brush. He then spent the next hour carefully brushing her, getting first coat, then mane, then tail to lay flat, her mane and tail once more curling fetchingly around her. He then put her diaper back on before carrying her back to his room.

Setting her down on the floor, he sat down across the room from her. Once he was braced, he pulled out a small ball, tossing it up and down. Before he could begin the game, however, a twittering heralded the approach of a close friend. "Red Army Robin!" he said happily as the little bird flew up to his shoulder. Reaching up, he gently stroked the bird. "Where have you been?"

The little robin twittered happily, fluttering its wings. It then paused, noticing Fluttershy staring at it in wonder. Heavy smiled. "This Red Army Robin. He's my pet. Want to say hi?"

Fluttershy nodded eagerly. The robin fluttered over to her, alighting on Fluttershy's shoulder under her mane. Smiling widely, she reached up and gently pet it with one hoof.

Heavy chuckled as he watched her playing with his pet. After a time, her eyes were drawn back to the ball in his hand. Smiling, he batted it gently towards her. As it bounced towards her, she reached up and batted the ball herself. However, she put too much force into it. It ricocheted off two walls to smack Heavy hard in the back of the head, releasing a balloon out of nowhere as he fell over.

Fluttershy (Ball) Heavy

Fluttershy meeped, staring at Heavy as he lay there. After a time, he sat back up, rubbing the back of his head. He then smiled at her. "Nice shot!"

Fluttershy smiled widely, and they proceeded to bat the ball back and forth for a time, although Heavy insisted Red Army Robin watch from the desk.

11: Chain of Command

Soldier grinned down at the diminutive filly that walked at his heel. "Fluttershy, I'm sure up until now your life with us has been uneventful!" he barked. "Everyone else who's been taking care of you is too soft handed, babying you and playing, but not me! No, I know what children need in their developmental years, they need adventure!" Seeing Fluttershy look nervous, he bent down to pet her. "Oh, don't give me that look! I'm not going to put you in any situation that's...too dangerous." He chuckled. "Besides, life here is hardly going to be peaceful at all times! You need to be ready for the kind of crazy violence that is normally a day to day occurrence for us!"

He gently chucked her under her chin with his right hand. "But you're still so little, so I need to make sure I only put you through something you can handle, so I looked back over what we have already done. That's sure to be a good selection, right?" He walked up to a rather large door. "Still, while we've fought other mercenaries, machines, and those crazy things my old roommate summons whenever he wants to throw us a party, none of those are readily available on demand...at least, not without spending more money than I'm willing to spend. But then I remembered one incident that was very easy to create, and one I'm sure you'll have fun with. As such..."

With a dramatic flourish, he threw the door open, revealing the ravening monster behind. "I have done nothing but teleport bread since chapter 8-I mean, for the past three days!" He didn't know why he said that bit about the chapter. Things like that just came out around Fluttershy. Kind of like how the ravening bread monster was coming out the wall. "And now we take up retroactively previously prepared defensive positions!"

Fluttershy looked up at him in confusion and made a confused cheep sound.

"...ah," Soldier said, as he remembered he was talking to a child and realigned his thoughts. "In words you can understand, this is the part where we run away!"

Squeaking happily, Fluttershy immediately began to run away, Soldier running at her side as they fled the rampaging bread monster. Eventually, they reached a foxhole, which Soldier dived into, and Fluttershy followed.

"Right!" Soldier said eagerly, grinning widely. "Now, we need to come up with a plan to bring that thing's rampage to an end. Don't suppose you have any ideas?"

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion for a bit, then let out an affirmative squeak before flying out of the foxhole.

"Wait!" Soldier called out, leaping out after her.

Fluttershy flew up in front of the rampaging bread monster and made a loud noise. The creature turned to face her and roared. She then proceeded to babble in baby talk, a scold plainly audible in her voice. To Soldier's surprise, the bread creature seemed to wilt a bit at the scold. Fluttershy then made a commanding noise, pointing at the ground with her forehoof. The bread monster's hind portion sank to the ground, quickly followed by Soldier's lower jaw.

Fluttershy then smiled, flew up to the head of the beast, and began petting it on the top of the crust, causing the hind portion to wag happily.

"...well blow me down," Soldier whispered. "Never thought of trying diplomacy. ...not entirely sure I approve, but I guess that's her style-"

Fluttershy then settled herself at the crown of the bread monster, seizing hold of two tentacles like reins with her forehooves. With a happy giggle, she brought her hind hoof down, making the bread monster bellow and begin rampaging again.

Soldier chuckled. "Or maybe she just wanted to ride," he muttered.

The bread monster continued to lunge around at Fluttershy's directive, chomping down on various aspects of the scenery. Fluttershy giggled happily, whether reveling in the destruction or the bouncy ride was unclear.

"Well," Soldier muttered under his breath, "if she can tame that thing, it'll make a nice pet for her. Although I'm not sure it would be worth the cost of what we'd need to feed it-"

Fluttershy kicked down with both hind hooves while whipping the tentacles in her grip. The bread monster opened its mouth wide, and a blast of green energy erupted, launching off into the distance and blowing up a mountain.

Soldier stared at the destruction for a time. When he regained his composure, his reaction was very predictable. "I want one!"

Giggling, Fluttershy made the bread beast exhale the green destruction breath several more times, clapping her hooves at each explosion. Unnoticed to her, the outer crust of the creature dried out with each blast and began to crack, as though it were going stale.

Soldier, however, noticed. "Fluttershy!" he called out. "Maybe you should-"

His words came too late, as after the last blast the bread monster collapsed inwards, collapsing into a pile of breadcrumbs and ash coated in green goo.

Fluttershy blinked, staring down at the pile she now sat on. She nudged it a few times, trying to make it move. Part of the pile crumbled further, turning to dust and blowing away. Seeing that, Fluttershy's eyes went wide and watered. Clutching her forehooves to her chest, she tilted her head back, ears and wings flat to her body, and let out a loud wail.

Soldier began to panic. He had no idea how to handle crying children, and he was pretty sure being the one to make Fluttershy cry was the easy way of becoming the target of a lynch mob, with his fellow team mates right at the head and gunning for his. He began thinking quickly, he tried to come up with a way to make her stop crying. He wasn't good at comforting, so hugging and saying 'there there' probably wouldn't work.

Wait! he thought to himself. I can just go make another one, a smaller one, and give it to her as a new pet. That will make her feel better! He stopped. No, that won't work. With the environment we live in, I don't want her learning the lesson that life is replaceable, that we'll get her a new one if she breaks something. Not the right lesson for a child. But it's not like I can revive the bread monster. We don't even fully understand why the teleporter does what it- His whole body froze up. "That's it!" Pulling out a large bag, he began shoveling the breadcrumbs, ashes, and green goo - along with Fluttershy's falling tears - into the bag. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. I'll make the big guy all better!"

Fluttershy looked up at him sad eyed, making a pathetic sounding query.

"Don't worry! I know what I'm doing!" Having filled the bag, he scooped Fluttershy up and ran inside. He then tossed the bag into the oven. "Bread gets baked, so we'll just rebake it!" He then yanked the oven out of the wall. "And we'll do it with science! The teleporter brings bread to life, so we'll combine that with the oven to raise the dead bread!" Tossing the oven onto the teleporter, he triggered it. In a flash of red light, the oven vanished.

Scooping Fluttershy up, he then raced into the room the bread monster had come out of. The other end of the teleporter seemed to be erroring or something. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. Your little friend will come out of there just fine-"

There was a bright flash, followed by an explosion. When the light and smoke cleared, a small black sphere sat on the teleporter.

Soldier decided to run with it. "And he's now much more durable!" Walking up, he rapped his knuckles against the ball, receiving a metallic clang for his efforts. "See? Metal!"

"Arf arf!" the sphere proclaimed, with a sound like a barking dog echoing through metal instead of bone.

Jumping back, Soldier saw that the sphere had opened large white eyes with small black irises and white pupils, along with a large mouth that covered most of its body and was filled with razor sharp teeth.

"Arf Arf!" it said again, more insistently.

Fluttershy walked up and made a quiet, interrogative squeak.

"Arf!" the ball said, bouncing happily.

Squealing happily, Fluttershy raced forward, hugging it. It then leapt out of her embrace and attempted to bite Soldier.

"Yikes!" he yelled, leaping onto a nearby cabinet. "That chomper needs a chain!"

Fluttershy grabbed hold of a string of much smaller black balls connected to the main body of the creature and tugged. It settled down, bouncing contentedly back to her side.

Soldier stared in confusion. "Well...that little fella is your responsibility now, Fluttershy!"

Smiling widely, Fluttershy nodded, cuddling the large bouncing black ball.

Author's Note

The original plan for this chapter ended with Fluttershy riding the bread monster. However, after a discussion with Feylon regarding the balance of the game, I thought about how unbalancing it would be to be able to field a tame giant bread monster on a whim. Which meant it had to go. The rest of the chapter evolved naturally from that. So now Fluttershy has a pet Chain Chomp.

12: Play Time

Scout laughed happily as he raced through the fortress, a happy Fluttershy desperately clinging to his shoulder. He had big plans for today. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with Fluttershy today, and had been waiting for his turn with bated breath since he gathered all the materials he needed. Reaching the room he had prepared, he slammed the door behind him before checking to make sure Fluttershy was still clinging to his shoulder. He looked up at her with his huge, infectious grin and grabbed hold of her with both hands, swinging her around happily. "Ready to play, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy giggled happily, clapping her hooves and fluttering her wings. It was obvious she liked being spun around like this. As Scout pulled her close, she nuzzled his face happily.

Still grinning, Scout set Fluttershy down and hauled over a huge chest. "Bet you're wondering what's in here, aren't you?" he asked. Fluttershy nodded eagerly. "Well, it's stuff I prepared for playtime!" Fluttershy squeed happily, bouncing up and down in eagerness. "Well, I hope you're ready," Scout laughed. He swung the chest open. "Ta-da!"

Fluttershy stopped bouncing as she stared into the chest. She had expected to see toys, board games, or something like that. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of brightly colored fabrics. She looked up at Scout and gave a confused squeak.

Grinning, Scout pulled out a camera. "You know, you're just too cute, Fluttershy!" he said eagerly, grabbing something out of the chest and sitting down near her.

Fluttershy looked up at him in confusion as he wrapped her in the fabric, pulling it on from her hind portion to her head. She tugged at the two long, floopy parts hanging off the hood. He then set her down on a small platform in the middle of the room. "Smile!" he said, snapping a picture.

A the picture scrolled out of the front of the camera, Scout cackled happily. "Perfect! Think you could do a little hop?"

Fluttershy stared up at him sadly.

His smile slowly lowered. "Guess you don't like this costume?" he asked. As she hung her head, he sighed. "Alright, we'll try a different one." Scooping her up, he gently stripped the bunny suit off her before setting her back down. Tossing the bunny suit across the room, he pulled another one out of the chest. "Maybe this one will be more to your liking?" He slowly slipped the new costume onto her.

She stared down at the white fluff that surrounded her form now in confusion as he took another picture.

Scout looked at her for a time. "Still don't like it?" he asked, surprised. "Huh. Thought we could have fun with this. Well, how about we give one more a try, huh?" At Fluttershy's accommodating nod, he gently removed the sheep costume, fishing around for another costume. Finding a good one, he pulled out one in all black. Gently lifting Fluttershy up, he slipped the costume onto her, added the hairband accessory, and then pulled out a black marker and drew on her face. She wriggled her muzzle as he did that. Once he set her back down, she turned this way and that, trying to figure out what he did, until her eyes fell on a mirror and she saw her reflection. A small smile spread across her face as Scout snapped the picture.

Scout grinned as he saw her smile. "You like this one?" As she nodded, he snapped another photo. "How about a few poses?" He continued to snap photos as she pawed at the air, rolled over onto her back, and meowed. Scout clapped for her. "You're really getting into it, huh? Just like cat costumes? I've got another one, though it's a bit simpler." Gently removing the costume, he laid it in the lid of the clothes chest, pulling out a few things to slip onto her.

Seeing the paw gloves, she turned to look at her reflection. Liking what she saw there, she turned back to Scout, raised one hoof, and just as Scout took the picture, she let out a "Nyah!"

Scout grinned happily, pulling a ball of yarn out and tossing it for her, taking pictures of her as she rolled around with it. "You're really getting into it now-" He paused, noticing the mirror. He smacked himself on the forehead. "I forgot about showing you how you look in each outfit, didn't I?" After a time of photographing her in the cat ears and paws, he put the bunny outfit back on her and set her in front of the mirror.

She stared at her reflection for a time, then let out a happy whinny. She then proceeded to hop around the room like a bunny as Scout took pictures. After that, he slipped her back into the sheep costume. Seeing herself, she squealed happily before toddling around, baa'ing happily. Scout continued to take pictures, taking a break to reload the film.

Setting down the camera, Scout scooped Fluttershy up to cuddle her. "Glad you're having as much fun as I am now," he said happily, petting the back of her neck. She happily nuzzled his hand, but then wriggled. It was plain she wanted a new costume. Chuckling, he set her down. "Alright, alright." He looked through the chest for a time. "Ah, here's a good one!" He pulled out the brown outfit, gently removing Fluttershy's sheep outfit before starting to slip her into the outfit.

"Ahem," Spy said from the door as he cleared his throat.

Scout spun to face him. "What?" Scout demanded, trying not to look too pathetic.

Spy blinked, taking in the room. "Are you..." His eyes fell on the discarded outfits. "Playing dress up with Fluttershy?"

Scout wanted to deny it. It was so uncool to admit, but if he tried to make an excuse, he knew Spy would enjoy every moment of tearing his web of lies to ribbons with his cultured mannerisms and frustratingly urbane French accent. "So what if I am?" he finally settled on, continuing to slip the costume onto Fluttershy.

Spy fell silent. He obviously hadn't expected that response. However, if he was surprised by Scout's forthright honesty, that was nothing compared to what his eventual response did to Scout. "May I...join you?"

Scout stared at Spy, completely flummoxed. He had never expected an activity he'd chosen to do to bring Spy asking, and asking politely, to join. On one hand, he wanted to tease Spy a bit about that, to get even for all the times Spy had tormented him for, well, being him. On the other hand, ever since Fluttershy had shown up, a new sense of camaraderie had pervaded the fortress, and everyone was finding ways to enjoy each other's company, even those they normally barely tolerated or outright disdained. Somehow, it felt wrong to disrupt that for petty revenge, especially right in front of Fluttershy. He couldn't quite decide which he wanted to do.

Fluttershy, however, made the decision for him as she leaped towards Spy.

Grabbing Spy's hand, she pulled him into the room. Scout and Spy both laughed. "Guess she wants you to join," Scout said, quickly snapping a picture. He then took a few more pictures as he and Spy both encouraged Fluttershy as she exhibited tanooki behavior.

After a time, Spy went to the clothes chest. "What else do you have?" As he looked through, he made a disappointed sound. "All costumes? No dresses or more normal outfits?"

Scout shook his head. "Nah. This was everything I could find for her."

Spy smiled. "I might have an idea." Pulling out some loose fabric from the bottom of the chest, he pulled a needle and thread from his pocket and began sewing. As he did, he began humming a tune, which soon became accompanied by a rhythmic thumping from outside the room.

"Nice tune," Scout commented. "What is it?"

"No idea," Spy admitted. "It just...came to me. Helps set the rhythm of sewing, though."

Scout glanced out of the room. "Hard Hat banging his head on the wall just outside probably helps. Wonder why he's doing that?"

"He has been acting strange ever since this petite pouliche arrived," Spy commented. "So, what do you think?"

Scout quickly turned to see the outfit Spy had made for Fluttershy.

Scout whistled. "Nice, Frenchie! She looks really good in that."

"Indeed," Spy pointed out. "Green is definitely her color."

A loud smack indicated that Engineer had just smacked his hand to his forehead. Ignoring that, Scout began taking pictures of Fluttershy.

"Go on, Fluttershy," Spy encouraged. "Strike a pose. Love the camera. Own the camera. Show the camera what a lovely little lady you are."

Smiling, Fluttershy raised up on her hind hooves, posing gracefully as Scout happily took more photos.

13: Silent Pleasures

Sniper sat calmly in the lookout, staring out at the view. He was up here every day, whether he was on duty or not. He was more comfortable at a high vantage point, regardless of whether he was there to snipe, draw, or indulge in other hobbies. He wasn't on lookout duty today, as it was his turn to watch Fluttershy. As such, he brought her up to the lookout tower with him, figuring a winged creature like herself would be just as fond of high places as he was. Admittedly, he found he was mistaken. The moment she looked down the ladder, she had crawled into his lap and shivered, whimpering.

Sniper, however, wasn't about to let it go at that. He simply held her, gently stroking her head and back, until she calmed down. Once she was calm, he held her carefully over the edge until she got used to the height. Once she no longer shook when she looked down, he tossed her upwards, to show her that not only would he always catch her if she fell, but that her wings would kick in instinctively in mid air. Once she realized and understood that, she was completely comfortable in the lookout, although she stayed off the ledge at his request.

Once Fluttershy was fine with the heights, Sniper had begun one of his favorite off duty pastimes up here, bird watching. Given how much Fluttershy seemed to love animals, he figured this would be a great activity to share with her. They shared a companionable silence as he scanned the sky for any sign of avian life. When he first spotted a bird, he pointed it out to her. She quickly stood up on the ledge to look. He started to offer her the binoculars, but then she let off a chirping whistle.

Sniper now sat back, his bird book to one side as he stared at the menagerie that had gathered around Fluttershy. "You know, you take the fun out of ornithology, Fluttershy," he commented. "As much fun as it is to spy all these rare bird species, no other bird watcher will believe me in that I spotted them, or in how. You even called up a dodo, and those are extinct!" He stared at the specimen in question. "Or, perhaps, just extremely well hidden."

The dodo squawked at him, and Fluttershy smiled sheepishly. She could tell there was no true rancor in his statement. Birds of all sorts from the southern latitudes - from albatross to yellowhead - were arranged around and on the little filly, the larger ones preening her as the smaller ones nested comfortably in her mane and tail. Fluttershy was plainly happy, and Sniper didn't really have the heart to scold her, even if he meant his harsh words.

Instead, Sniper pulled out a large canvas and began to draw what he saw before him. Normally he just drew landscape or the occasional bird or wild animal he spotted, but he had a much more interesting subject to draw now. "Hold still now," he said.

Fluttershy smiled, doing her best to hold still. The birds, surprisingly enough, seemed to catch her energy and also held still. Shaking his head in amazement, Sniper proceeded to draw the scene. He did his best to get every detail down in the black and white drawing, not making a single mistake. After a time, he lay the canvas down.

Fluttershy then lay down, most of the birds then flying away, a few circling around for a bit before nesting on the roof of the lookout to watch what happened next. The dodo seemed to vanish into nowhere. Sniper reached over and gently stroked her between her ears. She leaned into the caress, sighing contentedly.

Sniper then returned to watching the landscape, picking up his binoculars to see if anything was approaching. When nothing was in sight, he pulled out another canvas, looking around for something else to draw.

His eyes fell on Fluttershy, who had crawled over to the drawing of her and the birds. She had pulled out her crayons from the tiny saddlebags Spy and Engineer had designed for her to carry little things with her, and had begun to color the picture, holding one crayon in her mouth and one in the tip of each wing, her feathers wrapped around the shaft of the crayons. Sniper was torn between complaining about her using his sketch for a coloring book and amazement at her holding crayons with her wings. Realizing that he could probably reproduce the picture if Fluttershy was willing, he decided to focus on her amazing feat of physical dexterity that defied the laws of physics as he knew them based on available data. Seeing the perfect opportunity for another drawing and recording new physical capability of Fluttershy's, he proceeded to draw her coloring.

He was able to finish the drawing just before Fluttershy finished with her coloring. As he set his new sketch aside, she held up the picture for his approval. He could only stare in amazement. The colors were all completely within the lines and as detail accurate as crayons could be. He could easily distinguish each and every animal, and saw that she had grabbed his shading pencil for added details.

As he stared, Fluttershy looked up at him, clearly nervous. Smiling, he reached out and stroked her head again. "Well done, Shy," he said happily. "Can't wait to hang it up."

Grinning happily, Fluttershy set the picture down carefully before rolling onto her back, batting at his hand with her forehooves. He obligingly began to rub her belly. After a time, she began to doze off.

Smiling softly, Sniper scooped the drowsy filly into his lap, once more returning to his observations of the world around him. He'd often come up here to be alone, as most of the others were a bit too energetic for his tastes. The only other ones who knew how to take things slow and silent were Spy and Engineer. Unfortunately, Sniper never felt completely safe around Spy, given his habit of backstabbing, and Engineer always brought his guitar along. Now Sniper had no problem with music, but sometimes he just wanted to listen to the sounds of nature.

And now here was Fluttershy, with whom he could share the wonderful sounds...of silence.

14: Quantumn Engineering

Engineer lay back with a soft smile, gently stroking the filly sleeping peacefully in his lap. He'd spent the better part of the day wearing her out so she'd sleep peacefully now. There was something he needed to check, needed to be sure of. He was already 90% sure, but he needed to do one last thing to confirm. But to do so, he needed to have Fluttershy with him, he needed to otherwise be alone...and he needed her to be asleep. What he was going to do, he couldn't risk it having an effect on Fluttershy. It wouldn't be fair to her, or anyone else...but this was the only way to be sure. Once he was certain she was fast asleep, he pressed a button on a remote control.

A panel slid aside on the wall, revealing a device he had shown to no one else. The main aspect of the construct was a dispenser. However, a teleporter appeared to be riveted to the back of it. A television had been built into the top of the front, and what looked like the device that had been built for the Mann brothers to keep them alive was wrapped around the outside. Projecting from it were various other technical components that were too complex to interpret, even without some of their parts fading in and out of reality. He had even managed to scrounge some octiron out of the Luggage of a passing Wizzard for these, which appeared pitch black except through his special goggles - and to Pyro naturally for some reason - where it glowed with a light of an unknown color.

This was his pass-time machine. It's primary function was to work as a TV, which allowed him to watch any TV show that would ever be made, although he only watched the best ones. It had other functions as well, one of which he was going to make use of today. Tuning the device to do so and donning his special goggles, he tuned into the show he was looking for.

As he watched, he saw the energy that the device gave off...and saw the same energy emanating from Fluttershy, at the same frequency. This confirmed his suspicion: Fluttershy was the character from this show, as an infant somehow.

This didn't unduly surprise him. It wasn't the first time he'd came across the idea of stories having more reality than fantasy to them. This very device had, amongst its functions, the capacity to tap into other universes to track and retrieve various items, although it couldn't do so with living things. Once you came across the idea of alternate universes, it wasn't that big a leap to assume that every conceivable universe existed somewhere out there in reality. It only made sense that there was one out there that matched the story of this show. Actually meeting Fluttershy - and confirming that she was from an alternate universe this way - his main question that would likely never be answered was if there was some analogue to their world in Equestria. Probably not a TV show, but a game perhaps? He discarded the inquiry, as it was irrelevant to the current situation.

What he had discovered had revealed certain other facts to him, ones that were unpleasant to contemplate. However, he couldn't think of them in silence, he needed to voice them. Sighing, he turned off the pass-time, knowing he would likely not turn it back on for many years to come. He then turned to the still sleeping filly in his lap, gently stroking her mane as she breathed, her quiet sleeping noises sounding almost like a purr.

"So you're from another dimension," he said quietly. "Not surprising. I've been picking up that weird energy since we got here. Soldier's probably more right than he knows that our mission here is to protect you. It's not you we're here to protect, but whatever it is that allowed you to come through here...and you're the key to that. Someone wants to make use of it, whatever it is. Make use of you. But we won't let them. We'll protect you, no matter who we have to fight to do it.

"But someday it will all be in vain." Frowning, he pulled her gently into a cuddle, managing not to disturb her slumber. "We'll want to hold onto you for as long as we can, because you've become our baby. None of us could bring ourselves to let you go...but someday we'll have to, for your own good. You aren't of our world, and you're the only one of your kind here. We'll do all we can to make sure you grow up healthy...but you will grow up.

"You'll mature, become a teenager, and eventually an adult. And when that happens, you will have to return to your own world, wherever it may be. Whether because of some unknown dimensional phenomena or biological imperative, you won't be able to live a full life without others of your kind. Like the man raised by wolves, one day you will have to return to your own kind.

"And when you do..." His voice trailed off. He thought about how wrapped up in this little filly they had all become over the course of less than a month. He wondered how much deeper they would fall in love with this tiny angel over the course of years. There was only one conclusion he could draw from this. "And when you do...it will destroy us." He stroked her mane again as she slumbered. "We won't want to let you go, we'll care so much for you. We are nutcases, the lot of us, each with an insanity that preys on us, so easily turning us into monsters if we let it. But you heal us, make us whole...make us family. When the time comes, and you ask us to help you find a way back to where you came from...we will help, we will weep, we will say goodbye...and we will let you go.

"And we will die inside, knowing we'll never see you again. We will become our monsters without you. And yet, even if we all knew this, we would still send you away with a smile, a hug, and well wishes for your future, even as ours returns to the dreadful madness and slaughter that will one day consume our sanity."

Engineer continued to stroke her mane as she slept through his soliloquy. "But if in your sleep some bit of this remains in your mind, don't blame yourself for any of it. We have always been monsters inside, enjoying the daily slaughter of our lives, barely clinging to our last shreds of humanity. We were doomed to fall into the mad abyss eventually. Even all together, there was never any escape. Your presence has given us a slice of heaven before we fall to hell. And not one of us will have any regrets when the day comes when we have to say goodbye.

"Our greatest epithet, the greatest tribute and honor we could ever receive...is knowing that someday, when you have children of your own, you will tell them of us...and we will be remembered with love. That is all we could ask for, and more than we would have hoped for less than a month ago."

He lay back against the wall, gently cradling the beloved filly in his arms. "But you don't need to know all that yet. All you need to know now is to be a child, and that we all love you...so very much."

Fluttershy slept on in peace and contentment, wrapped in his love as much as his arms.

15: Speech

Heavy smiled happily as he held Fluttershy in his lap, seated at the table with the rest of the team. Pyro was at the stove, cooking up a massive breakfast for everyone. Soldier was browsing a weapons catalogue, while Demoman was drinking a glass of fruit juice and trying to pretend it was alcoholic. Ever since he'd managed to dry out from too much alcohol, he had been sparing in drinking any more. Sniper was calmly folding his napkin into a crane, and Spy was watching calmly. Engineer and Medic were discussing new devices to make for Fluttershy to help her grow and develop, especially for mental development, while Scout idly tossed a ball up and down, staring at Heavy and pouting. It had been decided that, since too many people trying to feed Fluttershy wouldn't be good for her, that Heavy - as the one who woke her up - would feed her breakfast on family days like today. Scout was the only one unhappy with this arrangement, thus his surly pout.

"Open wide!" Heavy crowed happily, making airplane noises as he brought the spoon of baby food to Fluttershy's mouth. She opened her mouth wide to eagerly accept the spoonful, not spilling a drop. "Fluttershy good malyutka for Heavy, yes she is!" he proclaimed, setting the spoon down as he burped her.

"She is a pony, yes?" Medic asked, watching.

"Yeah," Engineer confirmed. "What about it?"

"How can she burp?" Medic asked in confusion.

Everyone around the table tilted their heads in expressions varying from puzzlement to confusion, depending on their knowledge of equine anatomy. However, Fluttershy transpired to distract them from biological inquiries with a purely emotional moment. After she burped, she wrapped her forehooves around as much of Heavy as she could manage - which wasn't much - and spoke quite plainly, "Dada!"

The entire table gasped, dropping everything they were holding. Scout didn't even notice that his ball bounced off his head. "Did she just say...?" he managed to get out.

"Wuvoo, Dada!" Fluttershy said clearly in the silence, kissing Heavy on the cheek.

Heavy all but burst into tears. "She called me Dada! Fluttershy loves her Dada!" He held her close, now freely bawling his eyes out in joy.

"Hey!" Soldier complained. "How come you're Dada, huh? We all do just as much for her. How come we get relegated to Uncle status, huh?"

Fluttershy turned towards Soldier. "Dada!" she said again, reaching towards him.

Soldier's angry expression quickly morphed to a goofy one. "Well, as long as she respects the chain of command," he muttered, scooping her into a hug.

"What about me?" Demoman asked eagerly, spilling his juice as he reached across to Fluttershy. "What about me?"

Fluttershy happily hopped into the Scottish bomber's hands. "Dada!" she said, giggling as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

"I don't suppose..." Engineer began, leaning over Demoman's shoulder.

"Dada!" Fluttershy squealed, hopping up to kiss Engineer on the nose.

"How can she have so many fathers?" Medic asked in confusion.

"Dada!" Fluttershy called eagerly, hopping onto Medic's shoulder to balance precariously and kiss his ear.

"Never mind," he said happily, reaching a hand up to stabilize her.

Sniper stepped up to Fluttershy, not saying anything and just reaching out to stroke her as she nuzzled his hand and said, "Dada!" quite clearly. She then shouted "Dada!" as she leaped onto Spy's invisible face to nuzzle him into revealing himself as he suppressed his tears.

"Hey! What about me?" Scout shouted, bulling his way to Fluttershy. "Huh? Huh?"

Fluttershy giggled as she smiled up at Scout. "Bee Budda!" she said happily.

Scout scratched his head in confusion. "Bee Buddha?" he asked. "What does honey and religion have to do with it?"

"I believe she said 'Big brother'," Medic postulated.

"Bi Budda!" Fluttershy confirmed eagerly. Smiling, Scout stroked her mane eagerly.

Spy suddenly grinned widely. "Scout, clean your room!"

"Shut up, Frenchie!" Scout countered. "Where do you get off telling me what to do?"

"Well, I'm Fluttershy's Father, and you're her big brother..." Spy let the sentence hang.

"That don't make you my old man!" Scout snarled.

"No, but your mother might say otherwise," Spy jibed, quickly ducking Scout's swung bat.

Pyro had left the stove to come over, grunting inquisitively and pointing at himself. However, no one had heard him. Finally growling in frustration, he yelled, "HRRRRRGGGG!" and made flames leap from his hands as he charged through to Fluttershy before pointing at himself inquisitively.

As everyone else stood up to complain about Pyro's behavior, Fluttershy giggled and said, "Mama!" hugging Pyro's mask.

Everyone froze in confusion. Soldier was the first to speak up. "But I thought Pyro was..." His sentence trailed off, as while he - like the others - had never had any real idea what Pyro was, none of their concepts of the mysterious fire wielder included a second X chromosome.

Fluttershy giggled again as she sat back down. She pointed at Pyro. "He Mama!" she said happily.

Pyro seemed perfectly content with this as he "Daww!"ed through his mask, scooping Fluttershy into a warm hug.

Medic laughed. "If you are the mother, my fiery friend, then perhaps you should get back to the kitchen where you belong!" he joked.

Laughing through his mask, Pyro raced back to the stove before anything burned.

Fluttershy giggled and laughed. "Wuvoo, Dadas! Wuvoo Mama! Wuvoo bee budda!" She smiled widely as all those around the table pulled her into a huge, warm, family embrace.

16: Name Calling

It had been a few months since Fluttershy had started talking, and things had become more or less a matter of routine in the fortress as things returned to a semblance of normal. With her continued development, Fluttershy had become a great deal more self mobile, and more conscientious of herself. Between that and Engineer and Medic working together to design additional toilets in every bathroom specifically for her use, she was now out of diapers as she was able to make her way to a toilet in plenty of time to use them whenever she felt the need. Medic had found it amusing that the only thing necessary to potty train her had been the creation of a potty she could use on her own.

With Fluttershy's increased mobility, trying to assign her to a specific caretaker for a day at a time became impossible, as she tended to actively seek out whoever she wanted to spend time with at any given time, although she seemed naturally fair minded as no one got skipped over. It was determined that, since she was naturally obedient and stayed out of dangerous areas and inside the fortress when directed, she could be allowed to wander where she pleased. They had simply hung a communicator on a string around her neck for her to call for help if she needed, and there was no longer an issue. She certainly enjoyed the company of her family, and they enjoyed hers, so this in no way decreased the time she spent with them, although it did help build her independence, something a team of mercenaries like themselves were eager to encourage for her own sake.

This also had the side effect of encouraging more communal interaction as anyone who was off duty would add to their off duty activities following her around to see what she got up to. This had led to Engineer eventually seeking out Soldier for an explanation of an anomaly he finally had noticed.

"So what's up, Engy?" Soldier asked when the technically talented merc approached him at his post.

"I was wondering what you could tell me about Fluttershy's new pet," he asked casually.

"You mean the chain chomp?"

Engineer paused for a long time. "How did you arrive at that name for it?" he asked cautiously.

"It's got a chain growing out of its butt, and it chomps things. What else would I call it?"

Engineer groaned internally, shaking his head. "So...how did it come to be here?"

"I teleported bread."

Engineer frowned. "I thought we'd determined not to do that anymore."

"I wanted to give Fluttershy an adventure!"

Engineer could only shrug. "So how did that lead to the chain chomp?"

"Fluttershy tamed the 3 day bread monster, and made it start breathing green fire. It went stale and crumbled, and she started crying. I scooped the crumbs into a bag, tossed the bag in the oven, and tossed the oven in the teleporter."

Engineer stared in shock. "I'm not sure whether I should ask why or how."

"Fluttershy was crying!"

Thinking about that, Engineer could only nod. "Valid answer for both."

"Thought I could rebake the bread monster for her. Came out as a chain chomp, already tamed."

Engineer thought about that. There were two possible explanations for how a chain chomp - that he was certain was native to yet a third alternate dimension - came to be here. The preferable explanation was an equivalent exchange scenario, leaving a confused plumber jumping over a defunct oven somewhere. However, this didn't explain why the chain chomp was apparently already imprinted on Fluttershy, as Soldier pointed out. The only explanation that accounted for that...was that was how chain chomps were actually made. For some reason, the idea of the Koopa King teleporting bread was unnerving.

"Well," he said aloud, "as long as she's happy, I guess 'how it works' isn't really that important, is it?"

"Arf! Arf!"

Almost in response to the discussion, or so it seemed, the chain chomp in question hopped around a nearby corner, racing past the two mercs. The end of his chain was attached to a scooter, a gift Scout had made for Fluttershy. The filly herself was perched on the scooter, her fore hooves gripping the handlebars happily. "Vroom vroom!" she giggled happily as she zoomed past her adoptive fathers.

Both found goofy grins on their faces as they watched her zoom past. Both promptly denied the existence of such grins to themselves, while promising themselves to tease the other about their grin later.

Soldier nodded. "Any other questions, Engy?"

Engineer shrugged. "Not really. I seem to be the only one trying to figure out the 'how' of all of this, anyway."

"Why look a literal gift horse in the mouth?" Soldier asked in confusion.

"For her own good."

Soldier stared at Engineer in shock. "What do you-"

"Daddy!" Fluttershy shouted through her communicator.

At that sound, seven mercenaries dropped what they were doing - in the dangerous case of Demoman, literally - and raced towards where her communicator's FPS - a tracking system within the fortress that the team used to keep track of her and each other - indicated she was. Enginner and Soldier were the first to arrive on the scene.

Fluttershy looked up at Engineer and pointed sadly. "Chompy's stuck!" she whimpered sadly, indicating where her pet chain chomp had managed to lodge itself in the wooden wall.

"Arf!" Chompy confirmed, wriggling helplessly.

Engineer sighed. "Hold still," he told the chain chomp, "and don't eat my wrench." Wedging his wrench into the huge mouth, he began to lever against the wall.

At that point, the other five fathers of the merc group had arrived, shortly followed by the concerned mother and big brother, as Fluttershy had defined them. Glancing at this, Soldier groaned. "This isn't going to work," he growled.

"What do you mean, mate?" Sniper inquired.

As Engineer successfully levered Chompy out of the wall, dropping him off his ungnawed wrench, Soldier pointed at this. "Every time Fluttershy calls for 'Daddy', all of us drop what we're doing and run to her aid...when nine times out of ten, she only needs one specific one of us. If she scrapes her knees, she only needs Medic to treat them, see? So we need a way to know which of us she's calling for!"

"What would you suggest?" Medic inquired. "Nicknames?"

"She's old enough to learn them and distinguish!" Soldier pointed out.

"True," Spy admitted. "Her vocabulary's growing well, even if her syntax still needs work."

"So what names she use?" Heavy asked. "And what wrong with her syntax? Seem fine to me." Spy simply sighed, shaking his head.

Soldier thought for a time. "Well...how about 'Daddy M' for the doc? That's pretty specific."

Fluttershy giggled. "Daddiem! Daddiem!" she squealed happily, bouncing around Medic.

Medic smiled. "Well, I suppose that works."

"But if we do that, we have three 'Daddy S's," Heavy pointed out. "And I no like sound of 'Daddy H'. Sounds dirty for some reason."

"Well," Soldier contemplated, "we could always-"

"Big Daddy!" Fluttershy squealed happily, hugging Heavy's ankle.

Heavy grinned widely. "Heavy is Big Daddy! I like!"

Spy chuckled. "So she shall nickname each of us by how she perceives us? Fitting." Everyone then turned to Fluttershy, waiting for her to continue.

She glanced around at them all in thought. She then pointed at Demoman. "Boom Daddy!" she said happily.

Demoman cracked up laughing. "I like the sound of that!"

Fluttershy scrunched up her face in thought again, then pointed to Spy. "Poof Daddy!"

"Poof?" Spy asked incredulously.

"Cause you vanish!" Heavy interpreted boisterously.

"Or cause she thinks you're-" Scout's taunt was interrupted by a jab with a cattle prod from the frowning Spy.

"Let us assume our enormous friend is accurate," Spy continued. "Besides, from her, I will like it." He kneeled down to pet Fluttershy.

After nuzzling into the caress for a time, she then pointed to Sniper. "Bang Daddy!"

"Bang?" Sniper asked.

"Must be short for 'Bang, you're dead'," Engineer interpreted. "You know, headshots."

"Or would you prefer Piss Daddy for your Jarate?" Spy suggested teasingly.

"Bang Daddy it is," Sniper said hurriedly, before Fluttershy could latch, with childish glee, onto 'Piss Daddy'. If she did, he'd never escape it.

Fluttershy giggled. She then looked towards Engineer and thought for a time. Then she smiled widely. "Dadenji!" she cried happily.

Engineer smirked. "Sounds like she cribbed your nickname for me, Soldier."

Soldier grinned. "I guess that means I'm just Daddy!" he said happily.

"No," Sniper argued, "that should still be a general call for all of us. You need your own nickname."

"Only fair," Heavy agreed.

Soldier sighed and nodded. He then kneeled down towards Fluttershy. "Alright, Fluttershy, what will you call me?"

Fluttershy grinned widely and saluted. "Daddy Sir!" she said sharply.

Scout laughed, scooping up the filly and hugging her. "Maybe that should be what we all call you from now on!" he joked.

As Fluttershy wiggled free of the embrace to chase after Chompy - followed by most of the others - Soldier did his best to hold back his tears. She...she called me 'Sir', he thought, doing his best not to weep in pure joy.

17: BLUtiful Disaster, part 1

Helen smiled sadistically as she stared at the latest financial report regarding the televising of Fort Bumfuck. It had now been a few years since the pony had appeared, and sales and ratings were beginning to drop off. She had anticipated this. As cute as Fluttershy was, she was only that: cute. After a long enough time, even cute lost its sale value if there wasn't variety. And that had been one thing lacking in the footage of Fort Bumfuck. The mercs would go through their day, fooling around with their weapons, visiting the firing range to practice, or stuffing their faces, and every so often Fluttershy would join them and do something adorable that made them melt. Even that didn't provide an infinite source of funds when nothing changed.

Fluttershy hadn't even fussed when they changed from baby food to solids for her. She was just too accommodating a child for her own good, or more specifically, the show's good. Which, as it turned out, was her own good.

Helen was actually glad of the letter Ms. Pauling had left on her desk. She didn't have what it took to do what needed to be done for the good of the company. Helen knew that the moment she saw the Fluttershy plushie in Ms. Pauling's bag. She wouldn't be able to bring herself to do what was necessary. She'd be too concerned for the filly's well being. That was fine for the audience to be, but not the director. Only Helen could do what was needed to truly turn that small saccharine sapient into smooth, sibilant simoleons.

Her preparations were already well under way. While RED team had been playing babysitter, she had been continuously sending BLU team against Grey Mann's last remaining strongholds. Ever since his powerbase and hold on Mann Co had been broken, she had been determined to break his will completely, and force him into a position where he would negotiate on her terms. Smart as he was, he underestimated the value of dumb muscle...but she would never underestimate the value of intelligence.

Negotiations were already under way via one of her many puppets. So she could freely reassign BLU team now to another mission. She still found it hard to believe that the two teams so readily believed the story that those who had originally contracted their services - Red Mann and Blue Mann - were somehow alive again. It had been too easy to restore status quo where all power was in her hands. She almost pitied them.

However, with BLU team on the move, she had no time for such things. The real emotion on the faces of RED team had made huge sums of money. Well, anguish was an emotion, too. Smiling grimly, she attached the cords to her control panel that would allow her to broadcast through every RED receiver...and spoke.

Scout smiled as he stepped off his moped at the rendezvous point. He could already see that the one he was meeting was already there. "Hey, Ms. Pauling!" he called out happily.

The woman in question smiled as he approached. "Hey Scout. I have to say, I was surprised at your request. Didn't seem like the sort of thing you would think of."

Scout shrugged. "I guess I've changed. I suppose we all have." He glanced away. "Heard through the grapevine. Is it true you...quit?"

Ms. Pauling nodded. "Yes. You say you've all changed? Well Helen has, too. She's gotten worse. I...can't be a part of her plans anymore. But if I act against her, I know she won't hesitate to eliminate me. And I'm not like the rest of you. I can't fight against her. So...all I can do is remove myself. At least then she has to work around my absence, which will slow her down a little."

Scout sighed. "We're all gonna miss you, ya know?"

She smiled. "I know. I guess in my own way, I'll miss all of you, too." She held out the suitcase she had been holding in one hand. "Here's what you requested. I prepared it myself."

Grinning widely, Scout accepted the briefcase. "Thanks, Ms. Pauling! This is gonna be so great! Whoops!" He managed to catch it as it fell from his fingers before it hit the ground.

Ms. Pauling chuckled. "Don't worry, Scout. That case has some of Engineer's best shock absorbancy designs built in. You could beat someone to death with that suitcase and the contents wouldn't shift so much as a nanometer."

Scout chuckled. "Good thinking, Ms. Pauling." He set the suitcase on the moped. "See you around, maybe?" he called out to her as he gunned the engine back towards the fortress.

Ms. Pauling smiled as he drove off, but then sighed sadly. "I'll see you," she whispered, before turning to leave.

Scout happily drove back the fortress before heading to the Intelligence room. He wanted this to be a surprise, and no one would even think twice about an intelligence suitcase in the Intelligence room. Laying it carefully on the table, he then slipped back out. Now that that was prepared, it was time to find the subject of his attention.

However, it seemed that subject would find him, as the revving of wheels and a metallic "Arf!" informed him he was in for a visitor.

"Big Brother!" Fluttershy shouted happily as she leaped from her scooter, using the momentum to launch herself into Scout's arms. "I missed you! Where'd you go?"

Scout chuckled as he hugged her. "Had something to go do. An old friend to meet up with."

Fluttershy sniffed the air. "Do I get to meet her?"

Scout blinked, stunned anew at the effectiveness of Fluttershy's nose. "Probably not. She's going away for a while."

"Aww!" Fluttershy pouted, scrunching up her face.

Scout laughed, booping her on the nose. "You're just too cute, you know that?" Fluttershy giggled.

It was at that point Scout - and the rest of RED team - heard something that made their blood run cold. The voice of the announcer filled their ears from their comms.

"BLU team is invading. Protect the Pegasus."

Author's Note

Pretty sure I'm playing a little loose with the continuity of TF2 with what I've set up in this chapter, but I hope any die hard fans of the series can forgive some minor edits for the sake of a more enjoyably compelling story.

18: BLUtiful Disaster part 2, Accidental Badass

Fluttershy paced back and forth in the intelligence room, her only company the suitcase on the table, a dispenser full of her favorite snacks, and a few weapons that her family hadn't taken with to go fight. She didn't understand what had happened. A message she didn't understand from a voice she didn't recognize had broadcast from her communicator, her Big Brother had said "That bitch!" and stuck her in this room. Dadenji had come in and set up the dispenser for her, telling her to be moderate so she didn't spoil her dinner. Big Brother had told her that the suitcase was a surprise for later. Each of her other family members had come in to hug her, tell her everything would be okay, and leave something with their scent for her to keep her company. Then they had left and locked the door behind them.

She didn't like it. It reminded her too much of what one set of parents had done in one of the stories Big Daddy had read her. After the parents said goodbye to the children, the entire rest of the story had been the children trying to find out what happened to their parents. And then there was the sounds of gunfire and explosions from outside, interspersed with shouts and the occasional scream. She was afraid. Was something going to happen to her family? To her? She hugged Chompy close to her, whimpering. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her family. Why did this all have to happen?

Her ears perked up as she heard the sound of the electronic keypad. The passcode was being entered. Someone was unlocking the door. She looked up to see what had happened.

The door opened. At first, she thought it was Mama, coming to check on her...but something was off. There seemed to be a strange corona around Mama. She looked closer, focusing her gaze...and the red seemed to part to her vision. It wasn't Mama who stood there, but someone who looked like Poof Daddy, but blue. And they were disguised as Mama. Fluttershy backed away in fear as they looked at her.

BLU Spy stepped slowly and carefully into the intelligence chamber. Their mission was clear: capture the Pegasus. Obviously, the Pegasus - whatever that was - would be in the Intelligence room. So, while the rest of the team was distracting the RED idiots, he backstabbed the first RED merc he got alone - the Pyro, it turned out - and walked calmly into the fortress, seeking the intelligence room. Evading the RED Pyro charging back out, he had found the place and entered the code. He hardly needed to guess: no matter what team it was, Soldier always chose the code, and it was always 1-1-1-1.

That's what he'd thought, anyway. Finding it wasn't the code, he had examined the keys...and found the ones that had been pressed the most, and arranged them. He couldn't figure out what significance the code 3-7-4-9 could have. Luckily, no alarm went off for an incorrect code.

When he saw the small creature inside, he knew it had to be the Pegasus they were after. So small, so soft, so scared, so adorable...he wanted it!

He slowly walked forward, making the Pyro's nonsense sounds, trying to sound comforting. The Pegasus backed into the table, causing a suitcase to fall to the floor beside her. The black thing beside her bounced and barked like crazy. The Pegasus suddenly closed its eyes and seized the suitcase.

"Not the Mama!"

Thunk

BLU Spy let out a high pitched wail as his eyes bugged out of his head.

Scout had raced back in to grab more ammo for his shotgun while Engineer was working on repairing the dispenser. After restocking, he decided to check up on Fluttershy. However, as he approached the intelligence chamber, he heard her shouting.

"Not the Mama!" Thwack "Not the Mama!" Thwack "Not the Mama!" Thwack

Running as fast as he could, he reached the intelligence chamber to find what looked like Fluttershy breaking every bone in Pyro's body with the suitcase. However, her shouts of "Not the Mama!" suggested to Scout that this was actually BLU Spy, and that Fluttershy could see through the Spy's disguises as well as his invisibility. They'd never tested for that.

However, despite Ms. Pauling's assurances that "You could beat someone to death with it without disturbing the contents", he didn't want to get blood on the case, given the nature of the contents. Walking up, he gently placed his hand on Fluttershy's shoulder, making her stop and look up at him with a smile. He gently took the suitcase from her, set it on the table, and - after a quick glance around - handed her Demoman's frying pan.

Fluttershy took it with a smile, then brought it down hard on her victim's skull with a bellowed, "Not the Mama!"

Her victim's skull split open, spraying blood and brain across the floor as the body reverted to the BLU Spy.

Fluttershy (Pan) Spy

Scout couldn't help but grin widely. "Hey guys!" he called into the communicator. "Fluttershy's had her first kill!"

"And I missed it?" Heavy wailed into the coms.

The entire team charged into the Intelligence Chamber, seeing Fluttershy standing over the corpse of the BLU Spy - which Chompy had already started to eat - holding the frying pan. Smiling nervously, Fluttershy pointed at the dead body and said, "Not the Mama!"

Engineer face palmed, but he was laughing as the others started making much of her. Their revelry, however, was interrupted by a voice over their comms.

"BLU Team is approaching the control point!"

Soldier swore under his breath. "Everyone to the control point!" Reloading their weapons, they all charged out.

Curious, Fluttershy slowly followed, Chompy - slightly bigger after having consumed the corpse - trailing at her hooves. When she reached the outside, however, she gasped.

Her family was getting their asses kicked. Daddy Sir, Mama, and Daddiem were pinned down by BLU people that looked like Big Daddy and Daddiem. Bang Daddy and Boom Daddy were cornered by sentry guns tended to by a BLU version of Dadenji, who had his back to the BLU version of Big Daddy. Poof Daddy was trying to slip from behind his cover, but kept having to duck behind from pot shots from the lookout tower, where she briefly caught sight of a BLU version of Bang Daddy. And her Big Brother was trying to cover Dadenji at his own Sentry guns as they were under attack by a BLU Mama and Daddy Sir.

Then she gasped as a grisly sight came to her eyes. Big Daddy had fallen backward, a massive hole in his chest. "Doctor!" he called weakly as a BLU version of Boom Daddy approached him, grinning ear to ear as he took a swig from his jug before leveling a bomb launcher at him, a sword with an eye in his other hand.

Fluttershy thought she'd be afraid. It looked like her family was about to be slaughtered before her eyes and her Big Daddy was calling for help. She thought she'd be terrified. But as she heard Big Daddy call for help, she wasn't afraid at all.

The fury left no room for fear.

"You!"

That shouted word, filled with venomous hatred and unadulterated fury, brought a lull to the battle as everyone turned to the source of the sound. Fluttershy flapped slowly into the air as she hovered towards BLU Demoman. "How dare you!" she yelled. "You think just because you're big, strong, and well armed, you can come into my home, slaughter my family, and kidnap me?" Her eyes bored into BLU Demoman, and he clasped his hands together as he started praying like crazy. "You think you don't have to feel guilty about tearing a family apart, just because some bitch orders it? Well you may be big and well armed and a bunch of bullies, but-"

As the sword and bomb launcher fell from BLU Demoman's nerveless fingers, Fluttershy grabbed the sword in her hooves and spun. "Nobody!"

The sword passed completely through BLU Demoman's neck, sending his head bouncing across the ground and straight into Chompy's waiting mouth.

Fluttershy (Eyelander) Demoman

The sword came to rest in the trigger of the bomb launcher, causing it to randomly release its payload of sticky bombs.

"And I mean-"

Three of the sticky bombs flew straight towards the BLU Pyro, Medic, and Soldier. One stuck to the BLU Pyro's flamethrower pack, where the resulting explosion ignited all the remaining fuel and incinerated the BLU Pyro.

Fluttershy (Fire Sticky Bomb) Pyro

One went straight into BLU Soldier's open-hanging mouth, which closed reflexively. The explosion vaporized his head.

Fluttershy (Sticky Bomb Head Shot) Soldier

The last went right into the barrel of the BLU Medic's medigun, which was still set to overcharge. The sticky bomb absorbed the energy before exploding in a blazing flash of light and shrapnel.

Fluttershy (Overcharged Sticky Bomb) Medic

The BLU Soldier's rocket launcher flew back towards Fluttershy, where she had just managed to pull the sword from where it was embedded in the ground to hit the rocket launcher's trigger with the hilt.

"Nobody-"

The rocket flew upward, spinning. Many of the earlier launched sticky bombs had gone nearly straight up, and the spinning rocket flew right through a cloud of them. Many of them stuck to the rocket, weighing it down, and causing it to slam into the top of the lookout tower, vaporizing it and the BLU Sniper inside.

Fluttershy (Sticky Bomb Rocket) Sniper

The BLU Sniper's rifle flipped down towards Fluttershy as she backed up from the rocket launcher. Her hind hoof came down on the trigger.

"-hurts-"

The rifle went off, and the bullet took the BLU Heavy right through his eye.

Fluttershy (Headshot) Heavy

The dead body fell over, bumping into the sentry gun, causing it to tip over and autofire.

"-my-"

BLU Engineer was torn to shreds by his own malfunctioning sentry gun.

Fluttershy (Sentry Gun) Engineer

"-family!" Fluttershy shouted, her last upswing of the sword slicing the BLU Scout's arm clear off as he tried to hit her from behind, making him scream in pain. The force of the swing sent the sword up into the air spinning, but she caught the BLU Scout's falling arm and the shotgun it was holding, managing to shove the barrel into his mouth. "You got that?" she asked as the gun went off.

Fluttershy (Headshot) Scout

The entire RED team stared in awe as Fluttershy fell back, breathing heavily. As they approached her slowly in awe and concern, the sword flipped end over end downwards before stopping in midair with a sickeningly wet thunk. A distortion in the air formed around it, and BLU Spy - respawned - appeared, the sword embedded in his head, neck, and chest up to the hilt.

"Merde," he whispered, before falling over, very much dead.

Fluttershy (Eyelander) Spy

Fluttershy stared around at the carnage she had unwittingly wrought, her mouth agape. When she found her voice, she whimpered out, "Did I do that?"

Her entire family raced up to her, scooping her up to toss her into the air between them, a spontaneous cheer erupting that even Engineer couldn't bring himself to groan at.

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy!
Fluttershy will make you die!"

As Fluttershy blushed at the praise, she noticed BLU Soldier staring over the wall, his jaw hanging again.

BLU Soldier had a lot on his mind right now. He knew his team had been at their peak. He knew RED team had gone soft. And yet the Pegasus they had been sent after had slaughtered them all without trying. He was beginning to reconsider this mission.

Then he saw the black, sharp toothed metal ball on a chain. It was eating the corpse that had been BLU Heavy. As it ate, it slowly increased in size, its metal body hardening and thickening.

Seeing that, one thought crossed his mind. How much does it need to eat before it can kill its own food?

As he thought that, he made his decision. "RETREAT!" he shouted to his team, and they fled for the hills, their portable respawner taken with them.

From her point of observation, Helen could only stare at the...impossible result of the battle that had taken her plans, torn them to shreds, and danced on the grave. As she wasn't hooked up to broadcast, she felt safe in voicing her reaction.

"WHAT THE F-"

In his office, Saxton Hale stared at the carnage the cute little filly had wrought. He had only one reaction.

"I want one!"

Author's Note

After the session, Fluttershy's dice were examined for tampering. Despite finding no signs of weighting to the dice, she was still forbidden from using them in any future sessions.

In regards to the passcode, translate it into texting.

And apologies for any minor or blatant warping of how actual TF2 battles work that may have slipped into this chapter. When I write combat scenes, most of it is based on what I think sounds cool, and then toned down to try to be more realistic. For example, in the original concept for this chapter, everything Fluttershy did was intentional and planned on her part...but when it came time to write it, I decided that was too OP, and it was cuter if it was lucky accidents.

19: BLUtiful Disaster part 3, Party Party Party!

Hearing the alert to indicate that the battle was over, RED team happily carried their little Fluttershy back into the fortress. There was a bit of an argument over who would get to carry her, but Fluttershy settled it by clambering onto Heavy's shoulder, as she was fond of high places. Once Medic healed everyone up, they went eagerly to the intelligence chamber, though Demoman took a detour to pick up two large barrels which he carried in with him. Soldier and Engineer also stopped to grab numerous chairs, while Pyro grabbed a ball and Heavy's pet bird, the Red Army Robin.

Back in the intelligence chamber, Scout came around to stand behind the briefcase as Soldier and Engineer set up the ten chairs they brought. "Looks like we have more to celebrate than we thought," Scout commented jokingly.

"Celebrate?" Fluttershy asked curiously, tilting her head as she glanced around at everyone's grinning faces.

Scout nodded. "Told you I had a surprise for you, remember?" When Fluttershy nodded, he continued. "Well, it's actually all of us who have a surprise for you. I just brought this." He tapped the suitcase. "Thing is, we've been raising you for three years now, and it's changed us all quite a bit. For the better, anyway." He glanced around the table.

Heavy had certainly changed the least. About the only major difference between before Fluttershy and now was he had become more gentle with his teammates, controlling his temper a bit better around them. It wasn't actually a noticeable change over time, only if taken now and then. Having played parent in his past, this was just the latest time.

Scout himself had probably the most noticeable change, having grown a bit. The responsibility of caring for a young filly had impressed itself upon him, and there was a new gravity to his expression and behavior. He seemed to know what he was doing a bit more, and took his responsibilities and role in the team more seriously.

Medic hadn't changed all that much. He took just as much sadistic pleasure in his job, healing the team and tinkering with their insides. That is, unless Fluttershy was in the room with him. Then he went...the only word for it was 'gooey'. He went completely soft, playing with her, his voice gentle as he eagerly looked into her every activity, bandaging her scrapes and even - ignoring all sanitary regulations as per his usual nature - kissing them to make them better. The jarring dichotomy of when he'd go straight from that gentleness to laughing as he sawed bone was more disconcerting than Pyro had ever been.

Soldier's change was easily the most dramatic. Ever since that first day Fluttershy had called him 'Daddy Sir', he had begun to open up. He talked to the other members of the team, listened to what they had to say, and took those things into account. He was still as gruff as he had ever been and bellowed his orders as firmly as ever, but the air as he did so was different. He showed concern for his teammates. He'd even once arranged a "Pet Playdate" where everyone brought their pets to have fun together on a Family Day. Admittedly, he hadn't taken it well when Chompy had tried to eat Lt. Bites, although it had turned out to be a dominance struggle that Bites had won...for now.

Spy's only noticeable change had been a slight decrease in his snark towards his teammates, and even there that was only in front of Fluttershy. Scout had actually overheard Spy confessing to Fluttershy that he only did that because he felt it was a needed goad to keep the team on their toes. "Better a pointed jab from my wits than a stab in the back from my counterpart," he had explained. Scout, much to his own amazement, hadn't said a word about what he'd heard.

Engineer's only noticeable change was that he was banging his head on the walls a lot more often. Sniper also hadn't changed much, having been rather mellow to begin with, only becoming quite protective of Fluttershy.

Demoman and Pyro had changed the most. After forcing himself to dry out completely, he had started drinking again before battle, but in much more controlled amounts. He had discovered self control, and was exerting it. He remained much the same individual as before, but his sense of responsibility for the little filly helped him keep himself in check. Pyro, on the other hand, seemed much happier with his life now...although it was hard to tell, given it was Pyro.

Turning back from his musings, Scout smiled at Fluttershy. "You made us a real family, Fluttershy, and that's part of what we're celebrating. That, and now that we're pretty sure how old you are..." He unsnapped the suitcase. It unfolded and opened out to a flat surface.

A red velvet sheet cake with white, cream cheese icing sat there. On the top was an image in icing of Fluttershy, a yellow winged-pony shape with pink icing for mane and tail, and red icing spelled out, "Happy 5th Birthday, Fluttershy!"

As Fluttershy gasped, Red Army Robin hopped to Soldier's shoulder as he fired the ball from his rocket launcher. The ball ricocheted rapidly around the room, releasing balloons, streamers, and confetti with every impact until the entire room was covered in party decorations. For some reason, Engineer made another head shaped dent in the wall.

Fluttershy gasped happily as the whole team began singing.

"Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Fluttershy
Happy Birthday to you!"

Smiling, Soldier put down ten candles. "For your impressive kill streak for your first battle," he said, lighting the candles.

"I am surprised you so easily told us apart from our counterparts," Spy mentioned, "seeing as we are all but identical."

"No you're not," Fluttershy countered. "They were blue. You're all red."

Engineer chuckled. "That's just our uniform," he said, tugging at his red shirt. "Shows we're all on the same team, see? Like a family."

Fluttershy looked down at herself. "But...I'm not red, I'm yellow. Does that mean I'm not..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes began to water.

"Huddle!" Scout shouted out, and the entire team gathered.

Inside the circle, there was the sound of tearing cloth, several muffled arguments, a comment from Engineer about a "nanotech fiber", and comments about needles. Soon after, Spy turned to Fluttershy. "Close your eyes," he said softly.

Obligingly, she closed her eyes. She felt Spy picking her up and slipping something over her head. "Forelegs," he instructed, and she lifted her forelegs, slipping them through holes in something. She felt fabric settling around her wings comfortably as something that fit like a glove pressed against her barrel. She unfolded and folded her wings, noticing nothing was in the way. Spy then set her down. "You can open your eyes now."

She did so. The first thing she noticed was that everyone but Spy and Pyro had portions of their red uniforms torn off. The second thing she noticed was her reflection in the mirror Engineer was holding. She was wearing a snug fitting red sleeveless uniform shirt that stopped just before her hindquarters.

"There you go," Engineer said with a grin. "Now you're RED, too."

Fluttershy grinned widely. "I love you Daddies! I love you Mama! I love you Big Brother!" She leaped forward to try and hug them all.

Everyone happily returned the embrace. After a time, Heavy spoke up. "Fluttershy...where you learn word 'bitch'?"

"What?" Soldier demanded.

"When she shout down BLUs, she yell about bitch's orders."

Fluttershy smiled widely. "From Big Brother!" she said happily.

Glowering, Engineer pulled out a jar. Soldier labeled it 'Swear Jar', and held it out to Scout.

"You gotta be shitting me!" Scout complained.

"Now it's two, maggot!" Soldier barked. Sighing, Scout dropped some money into the jar.

"What will we use the money for?" Sniper asked.

Soldier shrugged. "Buying presents for Fluttershy, probably."

"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits," Demoman quickly said, dumping a huge handful of cash into the jar, only to get smacked on the back of the head while Engineer facepalmed.

"What do those words mean?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"Never mind," Soldier growled. "But blow out the candles before the wax melts onto the cake."

"But remember to make a wish!" Spy points out.

Fluttershy tilts her head. "Wish?" she asked.

"Make a wish in your mind, then blow out the candles," Scout explained. "If you blow them all out in one breath, it'll come true, as long as you don't tell anyone."

Fluttershy nodded, then turned to the candles. She closed her eyes. I wish my family can be together forever, she thought silently before blowing.

The candles all went out easily with her breath.

As everyone applauded, she smiled and clapped her hooves. As Medic began to serve the cake, Demoman broached the two casks. "I think this is a special occasion, and calls for a toast." He handed out mugs of applejack to each of the mercs, and a mug of apple cider to Fluttershy. "To Fluttershy, and the family she made of us!"

"To Fluttershy!" Heavy said happily.

"To Family!" Soldier agreed.

"Cheers!" they all said together, clinking their glasses together.

Hours later, the party had become more relaxed. Fluttershy, after her initial sugar rush that led to Heavy tossing all weapons out of the room and sealing the door, had suffered the expected crash and was now snoozing away, snoring cutely as she wriggled on her back. Everyone had enjoyed their cake, and tossed the rest to Chompy, who had grown from the size of a softball to the size of a beach ball. All the mercs had drank deep of the applejack, and were a little woozy and drunk.

Soldier was the one to break the happy silence. "Futter...Futashy...Fluttershy was amazing out there, wasn't she?"

"Yup," Engineer confirmed. "Course, she didn't have any idea what she was doing."

"She got a 10-man kill streak her first battle," Scout pointed out. "Who cares if she knew what she was doing?"

"Only..." Spy began, gathering his thoughts. Everyone went silent, waiting for him to speak. "If she's that good when she's a complete novice..."

Sniper caught the thought. "What would she be like with proper training?"

Everyone turned that thought over in their minds, the idea of Fluttershy out there, knowing what she was doing, with weapons made for her, studying under their tutelage.

"Dibs!" they all said simultaneously before 8 of them lost consciousness.

Demoman chuckled. "Fuckin' lightweights," he said, dumping another handful of cash into the swear jar.

20: Training Day 1

Spy walked calmly beside Fluttershy, leading her through the base. Chompy bounced along by her side, clanking audibly with every landing as his chain jangled. His size would have been concerning, as he was now big enough to eat anyone but Heavy in two or three bites - and Spy or Scout in one - but his obedience to Fluttershy was absolute, and she had made it plain he was not to eat anyone living unless she told him to specifically. Spy admitted privately that, even knowing that, Chompy's intimidation factor would be more than enough to send all but the most well trained soldiers and agents fleeing and pissing their pants. Especially after he saw Chompy's tongue, the less thought about that the better.

"You made an excellent showing of yourself on your birthday, Fluttershy," Spy told the filly, speaking calmly and precisely as was his wont.

Fluttershy blushed at the praise. "I didn't really know what I was doing," she admitted. "It's just...I saw you all in such danger, getting hurt, and...I just got so angry!"

"Quite alright," Spy replied. "And that actually raises a point we discussed after you fell asleep. Tell me Fluttershy, aside from being afraid for us and being angry at the BLUs, did you enjoy it?"

Fluttershy thinks for a time. "Well...I'm not sure. It was...different. It was scary, but...seeing all the destruction I wrought...I felt...powerful. I think I liked it."

Spy smiled widely. "Tell me, would you like to master that power? Learn to wreck destruction in controlled manners, to destroy only your enemies?"

"Oh yes!" Fluttershy affirmed immediately. "I don't want to hurt my friends."

Spy's smile widened to a full grin. "And that is why we will begin your combat training! We all discussed it, and given your quiet nature and somewhat frail body, we decided that the fighting styles that would be easiest for you to learn would be mine and that of your Bang Daddy, Sniper." Spy found it oddly enjoyable to refer to his companions by Fluttershy's names for them. "However, as you are much too small to hold a sniper rifle, you will start by learning mine. But first, there's something you need to learn."

He led her into a large room with a wide, glowing disc in the center of the floor. Circuitry was visible through the metal of the disc, and nine circles spun slowly, each containing a single drop of blood on a petri dish. The entire circle slowly spun, and Fluttershy could feel a great deal of energy flowing through the device. She couldn't help but stare in awe at it.

"Like my Respawner, do you?" Engineer asked, distracting her from her fascination. "Impressive, I know. Normally, we keep it hidden under the floor in here so it can't be damaged, but I uncovered it so you could understand it a bit better."

"What does it do?" Fluttershy asked in amazement.

Spy grinned. "I will show you. Heavy?"

Heavy stepped over, turning his back to Spy. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. Big Daddy will be-" Heavy's voice cut out as Spy jabbed his knife into the back of his neck and he dropped down, dead.

Spy (backstab) Heavy

Fluttershy gasped loudly. "Big Daddy!" she wailed.

One of the petri dishes on the disc glowed, energy gathered, and Heavy appeared, standing in the center of the disc. "-just fine!" he finished. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Ow," he muttered.

Fluttershy's eyes went wide, and she stared between Heavy and the dead body that Chompy had already started to eat. "...eh?" she gasped out, plainly unsure what to make of this.

Engineer stepped forward. "Each of those nine petri dishes has a sample of each of our DNAs. The Respawner uses that, extra dimensional matter drawn from the spaces between dimensions, and a chip in our communicators that scans our brains to recreate our bodies identical to our state at the moment of our death, complete with full brain chemistry, memories, and personality. We don't actually notice a time differential, as Heavy demonstrated, unless it gets overloaded."

Fluttershy tilts her head. "Then...for the nine of you...death isn't permanent?"

"Nope!" Heavy bellowed happily. "And is fun sometimes!"

Fluttershy nods. "So...will I be hooked up to it, too?"

Engineer shook his head. "It can only hold nine DNA profiles. If I tried to add yours, it would overload and go haywire, and we'd end up creating freaky hybridized versions of ourselves." The three mercs present shuddered from memory. "When this thing gets set to Random like that...it's not pleasant."

Fluttershy nodded. "So...why are you telling me all this?"

"So you can understand that death, as far as the battles regarding the Fortress are concerned, is a temporary concern for us. At least within the Fortress." Engineer gestured to the disc. "It has limited range to respawn us. If we die outside that range, our only hope is the revive function of Medic's medigun."

"And," Spy added, "for you to become more comfortable with your training on live targets...us."

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "You...you want me to try...and kill all of you?"

"Only in controlled circumstances," he hastened to assure her. "Only during practice sessions."

Fluttershy thought about that for a time. Heavy rested a hand on her barrel. "Fluttershy, sometimes killing each other fun. And will be fun to be hunted by Fluttershy."

Fluttershy smiled up at him. "If you say so, Big Daddy."

Spy smiled as he handed her a box. "This is for you, then."

Smiling, Fluttershy opened it up revealing ten small knives and a pin.

"These are butterfly knives," Spy explained. "One of my favorite weapons, and I thought they would suit you." He lifted out the pin, which was a pink butterfly with a bee sting. "And this," he said, pinning it to the front of her uniform shirt right in the center, "is your personal colors. Because with training, you will float like a butterfly...but sting like a bee!"

Fluttershy smiled, lifting out one of the butterfly knives, blade already out as she carefully gripped the hilt. "So, you're going to train me to kill you all with these?" she asked happily.

Picking up another knife, Spy nodded. "Yes. Now, there are several ways these knives can be used to kill. You can throw them..." He demonstrated an overarm motion, but didn't release. "However, your strength isn't quite up to that. You can slash..." He demonstrated a slashing motion. "However, that doesn't create a very effective kill strike. Your best bet would be to stab." He demonstrated a thrusting motion. "You will aim for vulnerable points, and strike when your target least expects it-"

Fluttershy (headstab) Spy

As Spy's voice cut out, Fluttershy carefully pulled her knife from his eye socket. She then turned to where a different petri dish had started glowing. As Chompy devoured the dead body, Spy reappeared on the disc. He turned to stare down at Fluttershy.

"You said when they least expect it," she pointed out, smiling. "Did...did I do good?"

Spy stared for a time, then laughed, grinning from ear to ear. "You did wonderfully, Fluttershy!" Heavy and Engineer joined in the laughter as Chompy bounced with joy. "You're already quiet enough, so all you really need to learn is what vital points to aim for...which Medic can teach you as easily as I can. Come, let's go seek him out."

Fluttershy grinned widely, pleased she was mastering her lessons already.

21: Training Day 2

Author's Note

I'm sure many of you were looking forward to a Training Day Chapter for each of the mercs. However, I'm afraid I won't be able to, at least not here. My reasonings are twofold.

First, given Fluttershy's diminutive size at this point in the story, some of the mercs styles are incompatible with her frame. For example, she's too small to hold a sniper rifle, so no Sniper training.

Second, this story is, in a way, therapeutic for me, in that I get to write cute and funny Fluttershy moments in a scenario totally alien to Fluttershy's normal setting, which to me makes them even cuter and funnier...and I have no idea how to make most of the trainings cute and/or funny.

So this will be the last Training Day chapter for a while, and then I can write chapters I've had planned for a while with more cute and funny moments.

Hope you're all okay with that. And if you're upset about a merc's class being skipped...feel free to submit a guest chapter. If I enjoy it, I might just post it as an Omake.

21: Training Day 2

Medic smiled down at Fluttershy as she carefully examined the medi-gun, asking questions about how it worked and the controls. This was his turn to train her, and he was happy to do so with such an apt pupil. However, it was plain his explanations of how the gun actually worked were going so far over her head they were hitting the moon.

Sighing, he spoke up. "Fluttershy, you're still too young to grasp the complexities of the medigun's workings, and lack the background education to understand the technicalities. Perhaps it would be best if we instead focused on how to use the medigun, rather than how one is made."

Fluttershy nodded. "Okay. How do I turn it on?"

Medic chuckled. "It's a bit more than that. First, see this pack?" He pointed to the pack he always had strapped to his back in combat. "If the gun isn't connected to this, it won't work. So don't let the cord get cut."

Fluttershy nodded. "Okay. Don't cut the cord."

He then pointed to the primary toggle on the main body of the gun. "This turns it on and off, so that the healing science energy comes out the barrel. Don't worry too much about aiming. It will automatically lock on to the nearest allied compatible heart in your line of sight, assuming they are in range."

"How does it know which hearts are compatible?" Fluttershy asked.

Medic grinned. "Remember your anatomy lessons?" Fluttershy nodded. "Remember the mechanical device attached to Heavy's heart?" She nodded again. "That device is the lock on point for the medigun. It's what allows the energy of the medigun to amplify the biological functions of the target to accelerate natural healing beyond normal levels." He then pointed to a switch on the gun. "And this switches between healing and overdrive modes."

"Overdrive?" Fluttershy asked eagerly.

He chuckled indulgently. "Yes, Overdrive. This mode releases a flood of energy into the subject, making them capable of taking much greater damage and causing healing to happen at a much greater rate. It also causes a surge of aggression, but that's a feature, not a bug."

The little filly nodded eagerly. "So what else do I need to know?"

Medic smiled indulgently. "As far as operating the medigun, that's it. All that's left is strategy in how to use it." He leaned back in thought. "There are two primary ways to use it to help the team; nearly all other strategies are variations of these two methods. The first is to wander around the battlefield to find those who are injured and heal them. But-"

"But wouldn't that leave you really open to enemy fire?" Fluttershy asked curiously, remembering Soldier's nearly constant yelling about 'taking cover'.

The healer's grin was wide enough to eclipse his face. "Exactly! If you aren't careful doing that, you'll end up dead before you can reach an ally in need. The second strategy is referred to as the 'pocket Medic'."

Tilting her head in confusion, Fluttershy glanced in the saddlebags Engineer had designed for her - sewn by Spy and Pyro - to hold her equipment. "I don't think you'd fit, Daddiem," she commented in confusion.

Medic tilted his head back as he laughed. "No, not like that! It is a metaphor, Fluttershy." He thought for a bit. "How much in the way of details do you remember from your first battle?"

Fluttershy shuddered a little. "All of it," she whimpered, as the image of all of her family slowly being cut down, pinned, and almost slaughtered still haunted her. It was one thing to know, intellectually, that death wasn't permanent in the fortress, even with seeing how it happened. It was quite another to get past the emotional pain of seeing those who were so greatly enjoying cutting her family down. Heavy's pained voice calling out 'Doctor!' still woke her shivering some nights.

Medic quickly scooped her up in a tight hug. "There, there, Fluttershy," he whispered, comforting her. "Don't fret, don't cry, the pain will pass in time." He held her like that until her shivers stopped and she nuzzled his chest. "Do you remember how my counterpart - the BLU me - was fighting that day?"

Fluttershy sighed. That part wasn't as painful, since there wasn't any actual killing happening there, as the BLU Medic hadn't done any killing and the BLU Heavy hadn't actually hit anyone. "Umm...he was staying close to the BLU Big Daddy, and...that light coming off him was the Overdrive?" At Medic's nod, she continued. "He kept him in Overdrive, staying close behind him...using him as cover?"

"Exactly!" Medic proclaimed. "Well deduced! The second method, the 'Pocket Medic', involves choosing one fellow mercenary who is able to both deal and take large amounts of damage and staying behind them so that they absorb damage meant for you while you keep them in Overdrive...staying in their back pocket, as it were."

Fluttershy nodded. "And that way, any injured allies come to you, instead, where the Overdrived ally can protect them as well!"

Medic applauded. "Well thought!" he proclaimed, setting her down.

She glanced at the Overdrive switch. "The BLU's have the interface devices, too, right? Why doesn't the medigun lock onto them?"

"The two teams use a different frequency," Medic explained.

"Could you find the other team's frequency?"

"...yes...why?"

Fluttershy tilted her head in thought. "Well, if pumping energy into the device and the subject amplifies healing and restores strength...couldn't draining energy out of it slow healing and weaken strength?"

"Draining the health right out of them?" Medic concluded. "In theory, yes. In practice, without somewhere for the extra energy to go, the medigun explodes. I tried that once."

"What if you hooked the medigun's exhaust to a different energy based weapon? So that the drained energy was immediately released in an attack? Like Mama's air gun?"

Medic raised his hand as he opened his mouth, about to explain why such a thing wouldn't work...and paused. "...well I'll be..." he muttered. "Why did I never think of that? I will need to speak with Engineer about designing such a system." Leaning over, he stroked Fluttershy's head. "Well done, little one."

Fluttershy smiled happily, leaning into the caress.

"And I have a surprise for you." Reaching into a compartment in the lab. "Since you've been such a good student, I think you're ready to try out what you've learned." He opened the box, revealing a miniaturized version of the medigun and connected pack, small enough for Fluttershy's frame...and with a hoof grip.

Fluttershy gasped. "For me?" she asked, awed.

Medic grinned widely. "Consider it a late birthday present," he said, hugging her. He then helped her situate it to her back. "Now, the smaller size means it isn't as efficient as mine, and the Overdrive won't give as big a boost...but you're far more maneuverable than I, so I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out." Once it was strapped onto her, he stood up with a wide grin. "Now it's time for the practice round Soldier's insisting we do now to keep our skills up after our 'shameful performance' on your birthday. We've divided up into two teams. Since you'll be Medic for one team, we've added a rule that Medics - that will be you and me - aren't valid targets, so no attacking us."

Fluttershy giggled. "We still get to attack, right?"

Medic laughed. "You've gotten vicious, little one. I like it!"

The teams had been divided rather evenly. On Fluttershy's team were Heavy, Pyro, Spy, and Sniper. On Medic's team were Soldier, Demoman, Engineer, and Scout. Once the teams were divided and separate bases had been proclaimed within the fortress, the practice battle commenced.

While at first it seemed rather even, with both sides taking hits and/or casualties as they fought, balance started to sway towards Fluttershy's team. Not only was Heavy constantly in Overdrive, but there was no sign of Fluttershy.

Eventually, it looked like Scout would sway the balance as he snuck up behind Heavy, determined to get a one hit kill by bashing his head in from behind. Unfortunately, he hadn't taken one thing into account. Heavy's pack looked full...but he'd only brought Sasha, using his own fists for Melee. He should have wondered what else was in the pack.

As he came up from behind, the pack unzipped from within. Fluttershy popped her head out and threw one of her Butterfly knives, catching Scout right in the eye.

Fluttershy (headstab) Scout

Giggling, Fluttershy ducked back into the pack. Her medigun was braced between her own body and Heavy's back, locked in Overdrive and switched on, so it was always pumping into Heavy. She also had her frying pan - a gift from Demoman - and her butterfly knives. She took being a 'pocket Medic' quite seriously.

22: Shore Leave

Soldier grinned widely as he addressed the team. "I have good news everyone! Given our stellar showing last combat - mostly thanks to Fluttershy-" He leaned down and stroked her head as he said this. "New orders from higher up says we don't all have to be here 24/7 to protect the fortress! You all know what this means...shore leave!" He grinned widely as the entire team cheered that announcement.

Just as the cheering ended, but before Soldier could start talking again, Fluttershy added, "Yay!" very quietly, resulting in everyone cracking up in laughter.

Once calm was restored, Soldier continued his announcement. "Now then, obviously we can't all go at once. I'd say no more than four of us should be out in town at any given time, leaving six of us here-"

"Six?" Spy interrupted. "There are only nine of us on the duty roster."

"I'm including Fluttershy," Soldier countered. "Between her natural luck in combat, the intimidation factor of Chompy-" he gestured to the Chain Chomp, who was now the size of an exercise ball and clanged audibly with every bounce to the point he was no longer trusted on upper floors, "-and the training we've given her so far, she can hold her own in combat."

"Especially in Heavy's back pocket as MediSpy," Heavy pointed out, guffawing over Fluttershy's last training match.

"Exactly!" Soldier confirmed. "However, since today will be Fluttershy's first time leaving the fortress for anything, I don't want her unaccompanied at any time!" Everyone nodded in agreement. "Heavy, Spy, Scout, you three will be heading into town with her, and I expect all four of you to come back together on time!" As Scout started whooping it up, Soldier concluded, "Scout, Fluttershy will be your responsibility while in town."

"What?" Scout yelped. "How come I'm responsible for her?"

"You've seen how fast she moves when she gets excited," Soldier pointed out. "If something catches her eye and she runs off to check it out, you're the only one who can keep up with her."

Scout sighed. "Yeah," he replied, grumbling but acquiescent.

Soldier walked over and gave Scout a comforting clap on his shoulder before speaking up again. "Move out, maggots!" he bellowed. "It's 0700! It takes an hour each way in the van, and I expect you all home by 1900!"

"Sir, yes sir!" Heavy and Spy bellowed back jokingly, Fluttershy calling it quite seriously. Soldier simply smirked and waved them off.

Heavy took the wheel as they drove towards town, with Spy in shotgun and Scout in back with Fluttershy. Noticing Scout was somewhat down, Fluttershy spoke up. "Umm...Big Brother?"

"Yeah Shy?" Scout asked, looking somewhat distracted.

"Umm...if you don't want to spend the day with me, I could stay close to Big Daddy or Poof Daddy," she offered consolingly. "You don't have to take me with you if you don't-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Scout interrupted. "Time out, Shy! What makes you think I don't want to spend time with you?"

"Well...when Daddy Sir said you were responsible for me, you got upset, and you've been...well..." She obviously wasn't sure how to explain.

Scout shook his head. "It's not what you think, Shy. ...look, I will love spending the day with you, showing you around town, and everything like that, really. It's just...there was something I was looking forward to doing in town today, something I haven't had opportunity to do for a while, but I can't do it with you along, know what I mean?"

"It's okay," Fluttershy said. "You can go do that and I'll-"

"You don't get it!" Scout interrupted. "It's not I'd rather do that than be with you!" He rubbed his head, trying to organize his thoughts and words. "Yes, I wanted to do that, looking for a certain special kind of company...but I can't do it with a kid along. And as much as I'll regret missing the opportunity, I'd hate myself for ditching you, okay?" Leaning forward, he stroked her mane. "You come first, Shy."

Spy smiled from the front seat, pleased to see how Scout had grown, pouring himself some tea.

Fluttershy smiled up at Scout, nuzzling his hand. Then her eyes widened, and she gasped. "Oh! That's what you mean! I didn't know humans had mating seasons!"

Spy paused in raising his tea to his lips to suppress his laughter. Heavy laughed uproariously from the driver's seat though. "Fluttershy, please don't make Heavy laugh while he's driving," Spy commented dryly. "I'd rather not crash, especially when we're outside the range of the respawner already."

"Don't worry!" Fluttershy reassured him. "I brought my medigun, and it has the revive function."

Scout shook his head. "Where did you learn about mating?" he demanded.

"Lt. Bites told me," she replied calmly.

Scout blinked. "You can talk to animals?"

Fluttershy tilted her head. "You can't?"

Scout thought for a bit, then shrugged. "Yet another thing we didn't know about you, Shy." He nodded. "But yeah, I guess you could say I'm looking for some 'pleasant company' who want to behave as though they're in season, even if they aren't."

Spy frowned mildly, displeased that Scout was explaining these things to Fluttershy so young, even if he was avoiding any form of crudity in doing so.

Fluttershy gasped as an idea occurred to her. "Maybe you could call that friend who made my cake!"

"Ms. Pauling?" Scout asked in shock. He thought for a bit, then shook his head. "Nah, she wouldn't go for me. I can show her a good time...but she's a real lady. I ain't got anything to offer a real lady, not the way she would need. I'm good for a nice girl or two, but the ladies need someone like Spy."

Spy raised an eyebrow at Scout's self-awareness, pleased anew at his growth. Smiling, he took a sip of his tea.

"So your Mom was a lady, then, Big Brother?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

Spy spat his tea all over the windshield as Heavy broke into more uproarious laughter.

Scout grumbled to himself. As soon as Shy's not looking, he promised himself internally, I'm bashing Frenchie's head in, several times over. "What makes you say that?" he asked Shy aloud.

"Well, I heard Boom Daddy talking with Daddy Sir about how Poof Daddy might actually be your Daddy..."

Them, too, Scout silently added.

Once in town, the group dispersed in various directions. Heavy went to a hardware store and arms shop, which happened to be the same location. Spy headed into town looking for fine dining. Fluttershy stared around at the city somewhat nervously, huddling up close to Scout. He looked down at her in concern. "You okay, Shy?"

"It's so...big," she whimpered.

Smiling, he scooped her up into his arms. "Well stick with me. I'll show you around." They wandered around town for a few hours, Scout pointing at various things for Fluttershy and grinning at her reactions.

He couldn't help but laugh when she flew from his arms to press her face and hooves against the toy store. "Can we go in?" she begged. "Please?"

Scout glanced at the number of kids under the age of five visible in the store with their parents. "Maybe we should come back another day, when it's less crowded, and with Heavy...and possibly Chompy." When Fluttershy looked up at him sadly, he explained, "Kids that age tend to be grabby, especially at anything with a tail."

Fluttershy whimpered, tucking her tail between her legs.

Scout pet her head affectionately. "Don't worry. You'll see the toy store later." After a time of wandering around the city, they stopped in at an arcade for a while. There, they played a few games together, and Scout used the tickets they won to trade for a large, white, bunny plushy. Fluttershy adored it...though for some reason, she insisted on calling it 'Devil Bastard'. Scout idly wondered who would be donating to the swear jar for that one.

They grabbed some lunch from a taco cart, where Scout discovered that Fluttershy had no problem with eating fish, much to his surprise. After they enjoyed their tacos, though, Scout noticed Fluttershy starting to pant. Realizing how hot it was getting - it was already 2 in the afternoon - Scout ducked them into an air conditioned bar. Heading up to the front, he set Fluttershy down on the counter and sat in the stool next to her. "A beer for me," he told the bartender, "and some soft cider for my little sister here. We both need to cool off."

Nodding, the bartender poured the drinks for both of them. As Scout took his drink, he noticed that the bar had quite a few young women present. He didn't really have time to think about it, though, as there was a sudden splash and clatter.

"Big Brother," Fluttershy whimpered, her voice echoing a bit, "I'm stuck!"

Turning, Scout clutched his stomach to keep from laughing uproariously, as Fluttershy had somehow managed to get her pint glass stuck on her head, dumping the cider all over her. "Can I use your sink?" he gasped to the bartender, carefully getting the mug off Fluttershy's head.

The bartender nodded. "Come on back and wash her off," he said. "I'll give her a straw and a fresh glass, on the house."

"Better give me one, too, so I can teach her to use it," Scout said as he clambered over the bar and washed Fluttershy off in the sink, drying her off on a nearby towel. "It's okay," he told her reassuringly. "Not your fault. I should have realized the glass was too big for you. Nothing to cry about. Won't you smile for me?"

Once Fluttershy was dried off, she smiled up at him...and winked. Once the straws were there, Scout showed her how to use it. After drinking some cider through the straw, she nuzzled his hand.

"Aww," a female voice said from behind them, "she's adorable!" Turning, Scout saw that several of the young women he'd noticed - specifically, the seven from a nearby table who were obviously there together - had come up behind them to coo at Fluttershy. "Is she yours?" one of them asked Scout.

"Sort of," he replied. "I'm her Big Brother. Some friends of mine and I stumbled across her on the job a few years back, and we've been taken care of her ever since." He reached over and stroked Fluttershy's mane. "She brought us together as a family." This resulted in a chorus of 'aww's from the women.

"If only my ex-husband had been as good a father," one of them - one Scout had already mentally marked as a real MILF - added, "I wouldn't have needed the courts."

Scout smiled softly at Fluttershy, inwardly torn between crowing at catching the eye of a single Mom and her friends and frustration that he couldn't act on it.

Then the reason for Fluttershy's earlier wink became apparent. "Excuse me, nice ladies," she said, using her normal pleading voice that was only not classified as 'making an effort to be cute' because it came effortlessly for her, "but my Big Brother's been feeling kind of lonesome lately. My Daddies and I have been trying to help, but he says he's still lonely. Could you nice ladies maybe keep him company and help cheer him up?"

It was only his hand already being under his chin that kept Scout's jaw from hitting the floor. She wasn't...she did!

"Oh we'd love to keep him company," one of the girls, the youngest in the group, said. "Such a nice guy, we'll do what we can to help him feel good for you sweetie, won't we girls?" There was a chorus of agreement.

"But I'm responsible for her today," Scout found himself saying. "I can't just leave her all on her lonesome, or dump her on one of the others. I'd never do that to her." Seeing Fluttershy smile approvingly at him from under her overhanging mane, he couldn't help but smile back.

The MILF spoke up. "Well, my little girl will be getting out of school soon," she pointed out. "If we all went together, we could pick her up, and then leave the two of them with her Manny while we...kept you company." She stroked Scout's cheek as she scratched Fluttershy behind her ear. "What do you say, big boy? That work?"

As Scout hesitated, Fluttershy spoke up, "Can we, Big Brother? I'd love to play with someone my own age for a little while!"

Scout smiled. "How can I say no to you, Fluttershy?"

Later, at a rather fancy house, Fluttershy sat alongside a little girl under the watchful eyes of someone who could easily have passed for Heavy's twin if he weren't wearing a French maid outfit and holding a tea tray. Fluttershy turned to the little girl. "I'm Fluttershy. What's your name?"

The girl smiled. "I'm Lauren. Do you know what Mommy and her friends are doing with your Big Brother?"

Fluttershy nodded. "They're mating. Want to play?"

"Can I braid your mane?" Lauren asked.

"Sure!" Fluttershy said happily. "Let me just set these aside." Spreading her wings, she carefully pulled out all ten carefully folded butterfly knives, along with her frying pan, and then shrugged off her medigun pack. Seeing Lauren staring, she smiled. "My Daddies have been teaching me to protect myself and kick ass with these."

Lauren smiled widely. "Pegasus ponies are awesome!" she said happily.

Spy and Heavy stood beside the van, glancing back and forth at each other. Spy once again glanced at his watch. It was 5:55 pm. "Scout is running late," he grumbled. "We agreed to meet back at the van no later than 5:50 for a last check so we could be sure we had everything before we left!"

"He has Fluttershy," Heavy worried. "Maybe we should have stayed together."

"Perhaps," Spy muttered. "But-" He paused, focusing his eyes. "Here they come. ...what happened to them?"

Scout walked happily down the road, grinning from ear to ear, his face and arms covered in lipstick marks, staggering like he was drunk, and whistling a song that hadn't been written yet. Fluttershy sat on his shoulder, her mane expertly braided and her hooves carefully filed and polished. She smiled happily as Scout staggered up to Heavy and Spy.

As they approached, Scout lifted her off his shoulder, spinning her around. "Fluttershy!" he yelled, sounding drunk, or at least punchy. "You are best wingman...pony...mare...wingmare!" As he said that, he fell backwards, Heavy catching Fluttershy as Scout hit the ground. "Woo!" Scout shouted happily.

Spy shook his head. "What happened to you two?" he demanded.

Fluttershy giggled, remembering something the Manny had said as he worked on her hooves. "I'm a pimp!" she said happily.

"I didn't teach her that!" Scout said quickly as Heavy and Spy both glared at him.

24: A Merry Flutter Christmas, part 2 - Operation Fluffy Christmas

Helen leaned back at her desk, the scowl on her face quite unseasonal, even if it was her usual expression. She had developed excellent plans for what she would do, once she saw the RED Team preparing to celebrate 'Christmas' for that tiny pony. Such wondrous plans of carnage, mayhem, and misery, painting the holiday red with blood and leeching every last bit of genuine anguish she could from the mercs and that pony. She had even gone so far as to create special opponents for the mercs to face: a chainsaw wielding Grinch with a vacuum secondary weapon to steal all the presents and decorations, and an animated skeleton in a grim tuxedo programmed to be obsessed with 'stealing Christmas' while being as terrifying as possible, and with the command to kidnap Fluttershy and scare her senseless.

And all these wonderful plans...were now tossed in the wastebasket because of one letter from Saxton Hale. The self same letter that lay on her desk now.

Dear Helen,

I've taken to watching that show about Fort Bumfuck - still love that name, gonna copyright it - and all that's been going on with RED Team and Fluttershy, and I have to say you're right, this is the most profitable thing we could ever do, even if it's somewhat lacking in violence most days.

Speaking of violence, I've looked at how you do things, and I'm pretty sure you have some sort of special event planned for during their Christmas celebration. Probably some sort of special monsters to crash the celebration, burn the tree, steal the filly, things like that.

Don't.

I'm only going to say this once, Helen. RED Team's Christmas is to go off without a hitch, without interference, and without trying to tweak it for ratings or mayhem. As much as this doesn't sound like me, they are to have a happy, peaceful holiday as the family they've become.

Disobey me in this, and I will hunt you down, break every bone in your body, feed you to the reanimated corpse of my pet yeti, and kill you until you stay dead. And then you'll be fired.

Happy Christmas!

Saxton Hale

Mann Co. CEO

Your boss

While she normally completely ignored Saxton Hale's edicts, that was because nine times out of ten he would forget them shortly after he made them. The one time out of ten he wouldn't, however, was when he referred to himself as Your boss. That meant he had made a copy of the memo, filed it, and set up an automatic reminder to make sure he didn't forget it.

And he had no concept of proportionate response. If she disobeyed him in this, he would act on his threat, and he would bend all the resources of Mann Co. on getting it done, with neither thought nor care for the future of the company. All he would care about would be making her suffer for flouting him when he meant it. And he would enjoy it.

"Bah!" she shouted, hurling her coffee cup across the room where it shattered. The Grinch swept up the pieces, looking downtrodden, much as Ms. Pauling once often had. "Humbug," Helen finished quietly.

RED team went all out in preparing Christmas for Fluttershy. The first step was finding the perfect tree. Using the teleporter, Heavy, Soldier, and Engineer had gone to a pine forest in the northern parts of America and cut down their own tree - as well as several park rangers who got in their way or tried to tell them to stop, saying cutting trees there was illegal - before bringing it back to the fortress. There, they had knocked out the center of the second floor of the central room of the fortress, making vertical room to place the tree on the control point, as well as enough room to set the tree on fire when Christmas was over without burning down the fortress.

Next was decorating the tree. The arguments regarding that were loud and long, as several of the mercs brought their feet down hard at Soldier's suggestion of decorating it with his head collection. As sentimental and appropriate to the team it would have been, they felt it would give Fluttershy the wrong message about Christmas to decorate the tree with what would look - except for the color of the Spy head's mask - like their own severed heads. Besides, Chompy would try to eat them. Medic's suggestion of using entrails for garlands was vetoed for the same reason.

As a result, Demoman, Scout, Pyro, and Spy had taken the teleporter to an American mall, where they purchased as much Christmas decorations, tree balls, and light strings as they could fit in the van. The whole team had then decorated the massive tree, with Fluttershy flying up to put decorations in the upper branches. After they completely decorated the tree - with the Pyro Angel doll on the peak - they proceeded to decorate the fortress. Fluttershy had wanted to help, but Soldier had said it was too dangerous, and she might get tangled up in the cords. Not three seconds later, Heavy, Scout, Demoman, and Pyro all fell from the roof, suspended by the tangles of Christmas lights they were ensnared in. As Fluttershy laughed and Spy groaned, Soldier had capitalized on it by saying, "See? And we're trained professionals!"

Before too long, the Fortress was fully decorated to the point it was bright as day at night near the walls. Each wall had an image of one or more merc in lights, so that the entire team was represented. The roof had actual lighted custom made miniature statues of each of the mercs, with the miniature of Heavy riding the life size one of Fluttershy. With all that done, it was determined that the outside was complete, so they went to the inside, where they hung up endless sparkly garlands and far too much mistletoe considering the only female present saw them as her parents and older brother.

At one point, Engineer had launched several rockets into nearby clouds, though the exact reason for this wasn't immediately clear.

And then came cooking the Christmas dinner, which waited until the very last day. Although it wasn't exactly traditional, the team decided to hold the dinner on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, so as to keep Fluttershy - and everyone else, for that matter - distracted from their presents, and to ensure that everyone would be so stuffed that they could sleep late Christmas morning.

As the sun set on Christmas Eve, the table was laid. There were mountains of mashed potatoes, soaring structures of stuffing, gallons of gravy, cartloads of cranberry sauce, and piles upon piles of pies. And the piece de resistance of the meal, the entrée, the meaty mainstay...a stupendously superb swordfish, measuring 15 feet and 1,430 lbs, the pride of Heavy, Soldier, and Demoman's fishing expedition, as fish was the one meat type Fluttershy would eat. Spy had provided a superbly high quality white wine to go with the swordfish after he and Pyro had spent an entire day with Engineer to reconfigure the oven so they could properly cook it whole and cut the portions right on the table. Demoman had acquired some white grape juice for Fluttershy, since she was still too young for wine.

However, as they all sat down to dinner, they were rather surprised to hear the sounds of a motorcycle outside the Fortress, followed by a knock at the door. Scout was the one to answer it.

"Hello?" His eyes widened. "Miss Pauling! What brings you here?"

Miss Pauling smiled, her helmet sitting on her bike as she leaned back against the door frame. "All this free time I have now I'm unemployed, I realized I didn't really have anyone to spend it with. Don't suppose you've got room for me at your table?"

"Sure thing! Come on in!" Scout said happily. As she stepped in, though, he pointed up. "Oh look, mistletoe."

She glanced up and chuckled as she saw it. Leaning in, she gave Scout a peck on the cheek as she walked past him.

"Look Miss Pauling," Soldier said as he approached her, pointing up. "Mistletoe." Chuckling, Miss Pauling gave him a kiss on the cheek as well.

"Mistltoe!" Heavy said happily as she passed him as well, getting a laughing kiss on the nose for his trouble.

"Look who I met under the mistletoe," Medic said as he and Engineer awaited her approach under the next bunch.

"Do I get a kiss, too?" Sniper asked from under the next bunch.

"Hrrng Hnng?" Pyro asked, pointing up at the bit hanging from a head piece attached to his mask, which earned him a laughing smooch on his air intake.

"Do I even need to say it?" Spy asked, quirking an eyebrow and pointing up.

After giving Spy a kiss, too, Miss Pauling found herself facing a belching Demoman. "Look Miss, missiletoe!" he said, pointing up.

Miss Pauling looked up, and blinked. "Demoman...is that a missile with a human toe attached?"

"Yup!" Demoman proclaimed proudly.

Miss Pauling could only laugh. "You silly goof!" she said, kissing him on the nose.

"Do I get a kiss, too?" Fluttershy asked, looking up.

Miss Pauling happily scooped the filly up and kissed her right on her muzzle. "You're just too cute, you know that?"

Fluttershy giggled happily, and raced back to the table. Demoman leaned in to Miss Pauling. "When we give you a signal, do you think you can keep her distracted while we prepare a surprise for her?" Smiling, she happily agreed.

Once everyone was at table - and Miss Pauling had finished marveling at the sheer size of the spread - Soldier stood up at the head of the table. "I would like to open this feast by proposing a toast." He lifted his glass. "I know I'm normally one for long winded speeches, but I think this says it all: to all of us, friends and family together."

"To us!" everyone chorused, raising their glasses as Spy began to carefully cut up the swordfish to serve everyone.

After about an hour of eating, drinking, and being merry, Spy surreptitiously signaled Miss Pauling. She thought quickly, then turned to Fluttershy. "Do I hear something heavy and metal clanging?"

Fluttershy gasped. "Chompy! I need to feed him, too!" She leapt up and started gathering a massive platter of food from the table. "I don't want to leave him out, but he's going to need so much-"

"I'll help you carry it," Miss Pauling said quickly, standing up.

Fluttershy happily guided her to where Chompy was waiting. Chompy was now over a foot taller than Miss Pauling, nearly as large as Heavy, and was just as gentle as ever with Fluttershy, as well as with Miss Pauling. They took their time feeding him, enjoying his happy barks as he devoured the delicious food. After a time, however, he paused and bounced over to a nearby window. "Arf! Arf!" he said, calling attention.

Miss Pauling was the first to approach the window and stare out. "Is it...snowing? In summer?"

At the sudden sound of sleigh bells, Fluttershy gasped and raced towards the front door, Miss Pauling and Chompy at her hooves. Miss Pauling was able to notice that there was no sign of RED Team before they were outside the front door, and she saw a sight she knew she would never forget.

Around the corner of the Fortress came RED Team. Eight of them were wearing reindeer antler hats, and towing a sleigh they were harnessed to. And in the sleigh, dressed in red and white fur from head to toe, wearing a massive fake beard and holding a huge sack of toys, was Heavy as he called out to his team.

"On Soldier, On Scout, On Doctor and Demoman! Come Engy, Come Pyro, Come Sniper and Spy!" He bellowed out a loud laugh. "Ho Ho Ho! Happy Christmas!"

Fluttershy gasped loudly, her wings buzzing in unbridled joy. "Santa!" she shouted happily, racing forward to leap into his widespread arms.

Miss Pauling's smile was wide enough to hurt, and tears of joy filled her eyes. This was truly a perfect moment as they all started to head into the Fortress. Then Fluttershy spoke up to Spy.

"Can you really fly, Mr. Reindeer?"

Spy thought for a time. "How tall is the observation tower?" he asked Engineer.

Engineer thought for a bit. "59 feet from peak to ground."

Spy nodded. "In that case, Fluttershy, I can fly exactly 59 feet!"

The entire assembled group burst into laughter.

25: A Merry Flutter Christmas, part 3 - Gifts of Love

Fluttershy stared out the window at the grey pre-dawn sky. It was Christmas Day, and that meant it was time for gifts. However, she had promised last night that she wouldn't wake anyone up before sunrise unless they were under attack. She momentarily entertained the notion of ordering Chompy to attack the Fortress in order to exploit the loophole in her promise, as Poof Daddy had taught her, but quickly discarded it. After all, she'd made the promise to him, too, and used a promise Engineer had taught her that everyone had found adorable. Still, despite the silliness of the motions and words - especially the bit about the cupcake - something about the idea of breaking a Pinkie Promise - even technically - filled her with absolute dread. And so she waited patiently, Chompy at her side, for the sun to peek out over the horizon.

After a time, she noticed the sky beginning to lighten, and her entire body tensed. Her flank wiggled in the air in anticipation. Chompy, catching her tension, became unnaturally still as he watched the window. And then, just as the tension became unbearable, the first flare of the light of the sun shot over the horizon.

"It's morning!" Fluttershy cried happily, leaping into the air.

"Arf!" Chompy agreed, leaping into the air after her.

"Time for presents!" she yelled, coming down on Heavy's stomach.

"Oof!" he exclaimed in a whoosh of expelled air. "Morning already?" he asked as she bounced off of him towards the door. Looking up, he screamed in fear as he rolled over, getting out from under Chompy just before he crushed the bed beneath him. As the two bounced out happily - Chompy putting a new hole in the wall of his room - Heavy muttered, "Chompy sleep outside from now on."

"Presents Presents Presents Presents Presents-" Fluttershy cried happily as she bounced along the halls past all the rooms towards the tree.

"Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!" Chompy agreed, crashing down to the floor after each bounce, leaving a small crater behind at each landing.

Engineer, stepping out of his room, examined the depth of one of the craters, and calculated Chompy's weight from that. He shook his head in wonder. "How can he move so readily when he weighs over half a ton?" he wondered aloud.

Eventually, everyone was gathered around the tree, Pyro passing out coffee for the adults, milk for Fluttershy, and a barrel of oil for Chompy, which he somehow dumped over his head with his chain. Soldier quickly took charge, once he was more awake. "Alright!" he proclaimed. "Time for presents! Which do you want to open first, Fluttershy? There seem to be a lot of them...and a bucket?"

Fluttershy pointed to the group surrounding the bucket. "Oh, those are the ones I made for all of you," she said softly. Without warning, Heavy pulled her into a crushing bear hug. "Big Daddy?"

Miss Pauling chuckled. "I guess they didn't expect you to go that far on your first Christmas."

"Oh, there's one for you, too," Fluttershy hastened to assure her.

Scout couldn't help but chuckle at Miss Pauling's shocked face. "Well, how about you open yours first, Shy? Then you can give us each ours."

Shy smiled widely. "Okay!" she said happily, pouncing the biggest gift marked for her and beginning to carefully undo the wrapping.

Scout chuckled again. "You can tear it off if you want," he pointed out.

"But the wrapping's so pretty!" she countered, pouting. Scout could only roll his eyes.

As she finished unwrapping it, she found it was a turret set painted red, yellow, and pink, along with a wrench. She gasped. "Dadenji?" she asked, awed.

Engineer smiled indulgently. "I think you're ready to start using the skills I've taught you," he said. "Once you master how to properly set them up and keep them maintained, you'll really be a force to be reckoned with."

Fluttershy happily hugged Engineer, receiving a hug in return. She went to the next present and opened it up. She found what looked like the base of a turret, but with a latch where the guns should have been.

Soldier grinned. "I noticed when you tried to train with the larger weapons, the kickback was often too much for you. If you latch the weapon onto that brace, it'll take the recoil for you. As cute as it is to see you tumble forehead over fetlocks after firing a shotgun, it's not good in battle. You can set it up just like a turret!"

Heavy laughed. "Is good match for my present! Open next!" He pushed his present forward to Fluttershy.

As she opened it, she gasped. "Is that..."

"Is mini-minigun!" Heavy said proudly. "Sasha always take good care of you, so now you have one to take care of." He helped her brace it on the brace. "Weighs 75 kilograms and fires $200, custom tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. It costs $400 thousand dollars to fire...for 12 seconds."

Fluttershy gasped happily. "He's beautiful!"

Heavy started to nod, but paused, blinking. "He?"

"Yes," she said happily. "I think I'll call him Angel." For some reason, Engineer banged his head on the wall again, but she chose not to notice as she hugged Heavy and Soldier happily.

She then opened a few of the smaller presents. From Demoman, she received a chemistry set. From Pyro, she received a "Learning to Cook" playset. She was especially happy with the paint set Sniper got for her.

Spy's gift of a disguise kit garnered a laugh from Scout. "Spy, she's a candy colored Pegasus. No matter what disguise she wears, it'll still be pretty plain that it's her."

Spy simply grinned mischievously. "Say that again after you've seen her in action," he said mysteriously.

Medic proudly presented the "Operation" game he had customized for her. "Should be a good way to learn more medicine!" he said happily.

Scout grinned widely as Fluttershy opened his gift.

Fluttershy blinked in confusion. "Umm...what is it?"

"Only the latest in home entertainment!" Scout proclaimed proudly. "This...is an ATARI home gaming console! They only just came out, and I got one of the first ones just for you! Also got a bunch of the extras and all the games that were out for it! We're gonna have so much fun with this in our down time!"

Fluttershy smiled somewhat unsurely. "That's...nice?" she managed, still unsure what it was supposed to be...and confused as to why the rest of the mercs seemed more interested in it than she did.

Miss Pauling chuckled. "I think this'll be a bit more to your interest," she said softly, handing Fluttershy a small box.

Opening it up, Fluttershy gasped. Inside was a small ruby on a choker, shaped like a pair of spread wings. "It's beautiful!" she said happily, slipping it around her neck.

Miss Pauling smiled as she helped Fluttershy fasten it. "It can easily be loosened as you grow so it won't choke you, too." She blushed happily as Fluttershy hopped up and kissed her on the cheek.

Fluttershy then walked over to the pile surrounding the bucket. "And...now I have presents for all of you," she said as they approached. She picked one box up. "For you, Big Brother," she said, holding it up.

Smiling, he carefully unwrapped the box and opened it. "It's...a lampshade? Painted red, yellow, and pink?" He tilted it this way and that. "But...that don't look like it'll fit any lamp I've ever seen."

"That's because it's fitted for your head, silly," Fluttershy giggled.

Scout's jaw dropped. "It's a hat? You got me a hat?!" He bounced up excitedly, quickly taking off his baseball cap to don the lampshade. "This is frikkin' awesome!" he crowed.

Fluttershy smiled happily. "I'm glad you like it," she whispered. She then lifted another box. "For you, Big Daddy."

Heavy opened his own box, revealing a cap sized to his head with minotaur horns on it. He laughed happily as he donned it. "Charge!" he bellowed happily.

Giggling, Fluttershy took out the next one. "Boom Daddy-"

Demoman tore the present open. "Sweet!" he said, pulling out and donning a crimson afro. "Dance, fucker, dance!" he proclaimed, proceeding to disco as he tossed some cash in the swear jar.

Fluttershy giggled, pulling something out of a bag. "This is for you, Daddiem. It was going to be a fedora...but I lost track of how big I made the brim, and..." She held up the hat.

Medic lifted the hat. "Hmm...I like it. Reminds me of someone I saw one Halloween. He said he was going for an enthusiastic walk in the moonlight." He chuckled. "He was a striking figure. Perhaps I will dress up as him this Halloween."

"Halloween?" Fluttershy asked in interest.

"I'll tell you when we are finished with Christmas," he said, donning the hat and tilting it rakishly.

Nodding, Fluttershy pulled out the next box. "Dadenji," she said, offering it to him.

He smiled as he opened it. He discovered within a pointed wizard's hat, covered in gemstones, stars, sequins, and tinsel, with a large star on the point. Embroidered in sequins on it was the word "N-G-Knee-Ear". Smiling, he removed his hard hat to don the mystical headwear.

Fluttershy offered the last box to Spy. "For you, Poof Daddy."

Spy happily pulled out...a bowler hat. "Not exactly my style," he commented as he examined it.

Fluttershy giggled. "Throw it!"

Shrugging, Spy took hold of the brim and threw the hat like a discus. It shrieked as it spun through the air, sheering easily through the wooden walls and a metal beam before embedding itself in solid stone. Staring, Spy walked up and carefully extricated the hat, watching the stone crumble as he removed it. Grinning widely, he donned the hat. "Perfect!" he said happily.

Fluttershy then pulled forward the bucket. "The rest I couldn't figure out how to wrap," she said softly. "This is for Mama," she said, pulling out a crimson chef's cap.

Pyro happily donned the hat, which matched his 'Ki~~ss~~ll the Cook' apron perfectly.

"Bang Daddy...I'll need you to kneel down for this one," she said, reaching into the bucket.

Nodding, Sniper kneeled down in front of her.

Smiling, Fluttershy lifted out one of her own shed feathers. "Daddiem figured out a way to preserve them, so I thought this would be nice." Fluttering up, she stuck the feather in the brim of his hat, before holding a mirror for him to see.

He smiled as he looked at his reflection. "Just call me Sniper Doodle Dandy," he said happily.

Grinning, Soldier broke into song, and everyone else clapped along as Sniper jumped into a jig, lifting Fluttershy up as he did so.

"Sniper Doodle went to town
A carrying his pony
She stuck her feather in his hat
He calls it Macaroni!

Sniper Doodle keep it up
Sniper Doodle Dandy
Mind the music with the step
And with the girls be handy!"

On the last line, Sniper bowed over Miss Pauling's hand and kissed it, making her giggle.

Fluttershy then returned to the bucket, lifting out what looked like a yellow rose. "This is for you, Miss Pauling. Made it last night."

As Miss Pauling examined it, she gasped. It was a bundle of Fluttershy's baby feathers, downy soft, tied tightly together to resemble a corsage. Miss Pauling happily pinned it to her shirt. "It's lovely, Fluttershy," she said, hugging the filly tightly.

Fluttershy returned the embrace before returning to the bucket. "Last but not least...Daddy Sir, please kneel."

Soldier promptly kneeled before her.

Fluttering up, Fluttershy slammed her hoof onto the front of his helmet before floating back.

Soldier stood up, confused...until his eyes fell on his reflection. In the exact center of his helm was a single gold star.

Fluttershy saluted. "Reporting for duty...General Daddy Sir!"

Soldier stared around, seeing his team rising to attention and saluting him proudly, their hands stopping as was proper at the brim of their hats. With tears unashamedly pouring from his eyes, Soldier snapped to attention and returned the salute.

Much later in the day, after much fun was had by all and dinner - leftovers from the previous night - had been consumed, Miss Pauling bid her farewells, saying that she had only come for Christmas and couldn't stay longer. After much hugging, a few familial kisses, and a well accepted warning, she rode off into the night.

Many hours later, the clocks struck midnight.

The Grinch led his unit of machines slowly towards Fort Bumfuk. It was just past midnight, and they had their orders. They were to make a huge distraction by targeting the presents so that their Skellington could kidnap the Pegasus. Helen had not been happy to have to wait, and she intended to wait no longer than absolutely necessary.

The Grinch shouted his battle cry as he waved his chainsaw as he led his unit around the front entrance of the Fortress.

Fluttershy (Angel) Grinch

Fluttershy (turret) Machine Mercsx7

The sound of Fluttershy's minigun and the turret's autofire tore the night apart as Fluttershy grinned widely. "I love Boxing Day!" Fluttershy yelled happily.

Heavy watched in awe. "Our little pony has turned into vicious killing machine!" he said in wonder. Turning, he pulled the skeleton approaching from behind into a crushing bear hug that powdered its bones. "I'm so happy!" he bellowed.

Heavy (bear hug) Jack Skellington

26: Night of Dark Magics

Merasmus leaned back in his La-Z-Boy in his home, a deep frown on his face. It was once more Halloween, which meant once more his peace and tranquility would be disrupted by rambunctious children. It would either be Trick or Treaters who mistook his frightening behavior for being in 'the spirit of the holiday', or it would be adolescents daring each other to approach the 'creepy old mansion'. He was never very fond of this holiday, as all the effort he went to year round to ensure he was left alone for his studies backfired on him full force. That wasn't the worst of it, though. The worst of it was, if he reacted as he wanted to the interruptions, the various parents would sue him, and win. He'd lost two houses over the past seven years like that.

Then again, that was a better record than what it used to be. It once was he lost a home every six months due to Soldier's meddling. His ex-roommate who never acknowledged being kicked out - or the fact that the shared residence in question no longer existed - was constantly showing up for one reason or another and was completely oblivious to anything Merasmus did to try and chase him off or destroy him. Even when he summoned the hosts from the Bombnomicon, Soldier and his ragtag bunch of crazies greeted it as 'a fun change of pace'.

But for the past seven years, he hadn't heard so much as a peep from Soldier, and had seen neither hide nor helm of him. While at first he had been overjoyed to finally be free of his primary interruption, it didn't take long for him to realize something rather significant. Soldier's near continuous interruptions had been a constant goad to Merasmus to continue his studies, to learn and master as much new as he could before Soldier would arrive and destroy everything again. With no sign of such an interruption, the Magician found he lacked the desire to push himself in his studies, spending more and more time lounging in his chair and snacking, listening to old radio dramas and reading novels. It almost felt as though he were retired, as much as the notion unnerved him.

Though he would never admit it, not even to himself, he found he missed his one time friend.

There was a heavy, official sounding knock on his door. Groaning, Merasmus rose from his chair and stalked to the door. Peering through the peephole, he was surprised to find himself greeted with the face of the very being he had been contemplating. Grinning widely, he through open his door. "So!" he proclaimed, briefly thrown off by the fact that Soldier was dressed up as George Washington in military garb - General Washington, perhaps? - he recovered gamely. "Again you would darken my doorstep-"

"Merasmus," Soldier interrupted, throwing his arm around the Magician's neck and tightening his grip. "We need to talk real quick."

Merasmus stared in shock. Soldier actually sounded serious for once. He nodded, waiting to see what could have caused such a change.

"See that little pony dressed up as a bumblebee?" Soldier asked, pointing.

Merasmus followed his point.

"That's my little girl," Soldier explained. "Our little girl, really, me and the others. This is her very first Halloween, and we want her to enjoy herself. So I immediately thought of bringing her here to introduce her to you, since we're such old friends."

Merasmus growled a bit, but couldn't help but smirk. What a perfect way to get back at Soldier for all these years of-

"Now," Soldier interrupted his thoughts, "she's just a little one, and doesn't fully understand adult interactions. Something you or I might shrug off as a harmless prank she might take personally, and could really hurt her." His grip tightened. "Now I'm sure you wouldn't dream of really hurting someone's feelings like that, especially someone so young, you're a rambunctious sort, so I felt you deserved this warning, since we're such old friends."

Merasmus was suddenly pulled up to meet Soldier's eyes, and he was surprised to find genuine hostility there.

"If you do anything that makes her afraid of this holiday, or hurts her feelings, or makes her afraid to trust the kindness of those who participate - such as giving her harmful candy or anything like that - then I will hang you from a noose of your own entrails, feed you your own still beating heart, use your own dark magic to bind your soul to your skull, and then use it as a chamber pot. Do you understand me?"

Merasmus nodded rapidly. This wasn't the Soldier he had once known. This was an overprotective Papa Bear who had no fear save for his child, and would stop at nothing to protect her where she needed it. There were many things Merasmus would willingly do in the pursuit of magic, or vengeance, or anything else...but right now he would sooner break an oath to Nyarlathotepe than risk Soldier's wrath.

Soldier grinned widely. "Good!" he said, setting Merasmus down and sounding like his old self again. He clapped the magician on his back. "Now, how about you step back inside, and then when she knocks you can open the door and give her some tasty candy. How's that sound?" He then pushed the Scotsman back into his house before slamming the door.

Merasmus struggled to catch his breath as he leaned against the front door. "That was...different," he finally managed to say. Hearing a timid knock on the door, he gathered himself and threw it open, conjuring a lightning flash behind his back, silhouetting himself for effect.

The tiny filly looked up at him, an orange jack-o-lantern candy bucket hanging half full from her mouth. "Twick-o-Tee?" she asked around the handle, looking up at him with huge blue eyes.

Merasmus silently thanked his quasi-immortal state for making him immune to cardiac arrest. "Well, little one," he proclaimed loudly, "are you having a good Halloween?"

"Yessir," she said, setting her bucket down. "It's so much fun!"

He grinned widely. "I am Merasmus, ancient Magician of the Dark Arts! Who might you be?"

"I'm Fluttershy," she replied happily.

Smiling, Merasmus dropped some harmless, non-magical chocolate bars into her bucket. "Is there anything I can do to make your Halloween even more enjoyable?" he asked.

She tilted her head and rubbed her chin in thought. "Well...Daddy Sir says you can summon monsters?" she asked.

"Daddy Sir?" he asked in confusion.

"That's me," Soldier supplied, his voice swelling with love and pride.

Merasmus chuckled. "I suppose I can," he said. "Why don't you all come in, and I'll see what I can do about giving you some monsters to fight."

"Yay!" Fluttershy cried happily, scooping up her bucket and bouncing in, followed by a grinning Soldier.

Seeing that the entire team was there, he let them in one at a time, asking about their costumes as he did so. Seeing far more of Scout than he really wanted to, he guessed, "He-Man?"

Scout grinned widely, holding Eyelander out before him across his body. "I HAVE THE POWAH!" he bellowed.

A groan came from the sword. "You are so paying for talking me into this later, Bomb Boy," it growled at Demoman.

Demoman chuckled. "I gave him all she's got, Captain!" he said jokingly, his Star Fleet uniform crisp and clean, showing no signs of his usual drunkenness.

Merasmus turned to Heavy, seeing him in a pink tutu, wearing the pink unicorn hat, a set of white wings, and an incredibly long rainbow colored wig with matching tail. "And...you are?" he asked.

"I AM PRETTY PONY PRINCESS!" Heavy bellowed, prancing into the house.

Merasmus groaned as he turned to the Medic, pausing at the costume. "I'd be careful if I were you," he said. "I know the vampire lord you're dressed up as, and he doesn't take kindly to pretenders."

"If he shows up," Medic replied, "I will tell him it is a tribute." He calmly walked into the house, his red trench coat sweeping behind him.

Merasmus stared at Engineer's pointy hat, his tattered robes, and his rather noisy makeshift sandals, along with the animatronic trunk behind him. "When did you meet Rincewind?" Merasmus asked.

"When did you?" Engineer replied. After neither answered for a long time, Engineer walked into the house.

"Live long and prosper, mate," Sniper commented as he swept in with his long white robe. The effect was ruined when Merasmus had to pick up one of his pointed ears off the floor.

"Don't let the costume fool you," Spy commented as he walked by. "I'm nobody's henchman."

"Except the filly's, right Oddjob?" Merasmus countered.

"That's different!" Spy insisted primly, much to the amusement of Scout.

Merasmus carefully examined Pyro. He had stuck waving tentacles to the front of his gas mask and taped black wings to his back. "...Cthulu?" Merasmus asked.

Pyro shook his head, pointing to his red suit.

Merasmus thought for a bit. "...RED Cthulu?"

Pyro nodded happily.

"Are those tentacles...alive?" Merasmus asked in horror. Pyro ignored the question as he leapt into the house.

Shaking his head, Merasmus retrieved the Bombnomicon. "So," he said to Fluttershy, "are you ready to face monsters the likes of which you have never seen?"

"Can we play outside?" she asked. "So Chompy can play, too?"

Merasmus blinked. "I suppose we could adjourn to my back yard...but who is Chompy?"

"My doggy!" Fluttershy replied happily.

Merasmus chuckled. "Your doggy can play too." He headed out to his back yard, followed by the entire group. "But why not bring him inside?"

"He wouldn't fit!" Fluttershy pointed out calmly.

Merasmus blinked for a bit, then shook his head. Once outside, he opened the book. "Prepare to face the greatest foes you have ever seen!" he proclaimed, summoning up a host of bomb ghosts which proceeded to attack the team.

Each of the mercs pulled out their weapons as they proceeded to fight back against the spirits, and Fluttershy pulled out her frying pan, whacking the ghosts in the face and knocking them backwards. Merasmus watched in interest at how coordinated the team was with Fluttershy, and around her.

Eventually, however, Fluttershy started to get tired. At that point, Scout spoke up. "Ya know, Shy, Chompy's costume is rather appropriate for this fight."

Grinning widely, Fluttershy let out a shrill whistle.

A massive metal sphere leaped into the yard. Merasmus could see that the chain coming off the back was black, but the sphere itself had been painted yellow. "Waka waka!" it proclaimed as it proceeded to move about the yard, gobbling up the bomb spirits.

"...Pac Man?" Merasmus asked, confused.

"Also the reason I didn't come as Jumpman," Demoman commented. "Every time I came out of my room in the outfit, he charged me. No idea why."

Before long, Chompy had devoured all the bomb spirits. Heavy laughed. "Heavy think Chompy scarier than anything Bomb Mage summon!"

"I seriously doubt that your overgrown beach ball can do anything to truly frighten me," Merasmus replied hotly.

Chompy turned to face Merasmus and licked his lips. Merasmus saw the Chain Chomp's tongue.

An hour later, Soldier finally talked the Magician out from under his bed.

Author's Note

And now credit for the costumes.

Soldier as General Washington was my idea. I wanted to have him dress as a famous General, what with Fluttershy promoting him last chapter.
I also came up with Medic as Alucard and Engineer as Rincewind, again a result of the hats Fluttershy made for them.
Fluttershy as a Bumblebee was also my idea, found the image on a google image search.

Scout as He-Man was suggested by E3gner.

Heavy as Celestia in a Tutu suggested indirectly by bonamb.

Demoman as Scotty suggested by Indigo Steel.

Sniper as Spock suggested by Leo Archon.

Spy as Oddjob suggested by Skyguy7_13

Pyro as Cthulu - and the method of creating the costume - suggested by Cog Archival.

Chompy as Pac Man was a last minute addition I came up with as I wrote. As was Demoman's Jumpman joke.

27: Growing Pains

Medic was walking around the Fortress one day when he heard a whimpering sound. Confused, he followed it, only to find Chompy - who was now bigger than the truck and looked armor plated from the thickness of his metal hide - whimpering, huddled in on himself, and with a teardrop hanging from each eye. Another heart breaking whine found its way between the razor sharp teeth as Medic approached. "What's wrong, my large metal friend?" he asked, petting Chompy's side. "Feeling ill? Bit your tongue?"

Chompy shook his body, mimicking a head shake. He whined again.

Medic rubbed his chin. "I don't know how to help you. Perhaps we should ask Fluttershy-"

Chompy suddenly whined loudly, huddling in on himself.

Medic opened his mouth in an "Ah" of comprehension. He didn't need Fluttershy's ability to speak to animals to interpret that. "She yelled at you, didn't she?" he asked.

Chompy nodded, the teardrops falling to splash on the ground as sizzling acid.

Medic carefully avoided the teardrops and rubbed Chompy's side comfortingly. "It's alright, Chompy. She didn't mean it, trust me. When she calms down, she'll come back to apologize to you. She's just of that age, understand?"

Chompy tilted, barking his confusion.

Medic shook his head. "I forget you're younger than her, for all you're larger than all of us combined. She's becoming an adolescent. Her body is going through changes, and that's hard on her mind. She's going to be irritable at times, but she'll grow out of it."

Chompy barked a query, shaking himself.

Medic thought for a bit, interpreting. "Awareness of her body?" he queried. When Chompy barked confirmation, Medic continued. "Well, she's becoming a mare, and is becoming aware of herself as a mare, starting to think in certain ways. It's like what my large friend Heavy told me about the other day..."

Heavy could only stare as Fluttershy bounced and swayed to the music she was listening to, singing along her own version of the lyrics.

"Santa Heavy, an outer space convertible too, not blue
I'll wait up for you here
Santa Heavy, hurry down my chimney tonight!"

When she spoke of her chimney, she swayed her hips, her tail tantalizingly swaying over her flank in a way that mightily disturbed Heavy, since she was singing about him.

"Think of all the fun that I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed-"

Fluttershy kissing boys? Heavy thought to himself in shock. But she's so little!

"Next year I could be oh so good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo"

As she wriggled her body in a manner that could possibly be classified as seductive, Heavy hid his face in his hands.

Medic shuddered as he finished describing it. "It is hard to accept our little girl becoming...sexually active, but she is of that age."

Chompy shuddered as well, then barked an inquiry.

"Her irritability?" At Chompy's nod, Medic continued. "Well, the changes her body is going through aren't exactly pleasant. It's a lot of internal rewiring, and it's making her hormones go screwy. She gets angry and frustrated easily as a result..."

Fluttershy growled under her breath. "I'm so angry, I could just scream!" Taking in a deep breath, she let out an adorably quiet scream.

"Aww!" Scout said, finding it too cute.

Grumbling, Fluttershy pulled an air horn out of her saddlebags and brought her hoof down hard on the button. After the noise died down, she sighed. "Much better," she said, walking away as Scout clung to the ceiling.

Fluttershy paced angrily into Demoman's mixing room. "I'm so frustrated, I could just kick something!" she snapped, turning around and kicking a barrel.

The barrel wiggled back and forth a tiny bit before settling back into place. Demoman breathed a sigh of relief.

Growling, Fluttershy pulled her rocket launcher and fired it at the barrel. One massive explosion later, she sighed in contentment. "Much better," she said as she walked out.

Demoman stared at the crater that remained of his lab, and the pile of ash that used to be his eyebrows.

Medic shook his head. "But don't worry, Chompy, Fluttershy will grow out of it. It'll take some time, but-"

"Daddiem! Daddiem!" Fluttershy called, sounding very frightened.

"I'll be right back," Medic said, rushing off to Fluttershy. "What's wrong, Fluttershy?"

"I...I think I might have the plague or something," she whimpered in fear.

Medic tilted his head. "That is serious. What makes you think that?"

"This weird mark appeared on my butt!" she wailed, turning to show him.

Arranged on each flank were three pink butterflies with bee stingers, arranged in a triangle.

Medic stared at this for a time, going through possibilities in his head. He knew it couldn't be a sickness, as the arrangement was too regular and mirrored too perfectly on each side. He also knew it wasn't a tattoo and a prank, because it wasn't in Fluttershy's nature to prank like this, and no one in the fortress would prank her. That only left the possibility that it was natural, but he needed to confirm that. "I need to speak with my hard hatted friend about this."

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. "What would Dadenji know about this?"

"Possibly everything. Come with me to the Medical Room." While he could still pick up and carry Fluttershy, she got touchy about it these days, talking about how she was a big pony and could walk or fly herself. The first time she'd said it to Heavy, he had smiled, nodded, left the room, and burst into inconsolable tears. Medic picked up his communicator. "My hard hatted friend, please meet me in my lab," he said into it.

Engineer was waiting for them when they got there. "What's the matter?" he asked.

Medic pointed to the marks on Fluttershy's flanks, then pulled Engineer off to the side. "You know more about Fluttershy than you let on," he stated. "I don't care why or how. Right now, I need to know what. Specifically, the mark that has appeared...is it natural, and if so, what is it?"

Engineer nodded. "It's her Cutie Mark, symbolizing her special talent. Given it matches her pin, I'd say it symbolizes her ability to speak to animals, and her combat training to - as Spy put it - 'float like a butterfly and sting like a bee'."

Medic nodded. Before he could say anything, Fluttershy spoke up. "Cutie Mark?" For some reason, those words seemed important to her.

Medic smiled. "It's apparently normal for your species," Medic replied.

"It appears when you reach a certain point of maturity, and discover your special talent," Engineer explained.

"What's my species like?" she asked.

Engineer frowned. "I'll...tell you later. For now, you should show everyone your Cutie Mark. It's something to be proud of and celebrate!"

Medic nodded. "Everyone to the Med Lab," he said into his communicator. As everyone arrived, Medic gestured. "Something wonderful has happened!" he told them, showing them her Cutie Mark.

Scout was the first to speak up. "She got a tattoo?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "No, it's my Cutie Mark! It shows my special talent, and shows I'm becoming a grown up-" She paused. "What's a tattoo?"

As some of the mercs got misty eyed, Soldier pulled up his sleeve to show one of his tattoos. "It's a design in ink you put on yourself to say something about yourself."

Fluttershy smiled widely. "Can I get a tattoo?"

Everyone looked at each other for a time. "Don't see why not," Soldier replied.

"Would be a bit more complicated since you have fur...but I can figure something out," Medic replied. "Why don't you draw out what you want your tattoo to be, while I figure out how to make it happen?"

Nodding, Fluttershy pulled out a piece of paper and some drawing implements. As nearly everyone gathered around her, Engineer slowly walked out of the room, heading for his own.

Once he was there, he pulled out a large book labeled Our Baby. He opened it up, revealing a complete collection of every picture the team - the family - had taken of her. As he turned the pages, he began to sing softly to himself.

Part way through the first verse of his song, he wiped the tears from his eyes as he paused on a family photo, taken at her fifth birthday. He then turned to a page of pictures of Fluttershy's combat training. Those were such happy memories.

"Where are you going, our little one, little one?" he sang then, only to be surprised as Heavy's deep, rich baritone sang the next line from behind him.

"Little dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone?" As he joined Engineer at the scrapbook, they turned to more recent pictures and continued to sing together until they turned to the last picture in the scrapbook. This was a sketch Sniper had done. It was a speculated image of a full grown Fluttershy, with a baby Pegasus gently cradled in one wing.

"Turn around and you're a young mare, with foals of your own," they concluded their song as the two fathers stared down at what would surely be their daughters bright future. As their emotions overcame them, they wrapped an arm around each other as they let their tears fall.

28: Endgame part 1, Game Over

Helen stared in frustration at the latest financial and ratings report from Fort Bumfuck. Numbers and profits were starting to drop as Fluttershy had approached maturity. Engineer's blunt handling of Fluttershy's 'Cutie Mark' - and his knowing what it was - had apparently broken some suspension of disbelief amongst viewers, causing the show to lose popularity. People still loved watching Fluttershy interact with the mercs, but they were apparently content to wait until an episode showed up in a rerun, rather than religiously watching each episode as it came out like they had at the beginning.

Of course, Helen had tried to liven it up by sending in more assaults on the fortress targeting Fluttershy, even if kidnapping at this point was infeasible and would lack emotional impact. With how often and easily Fluttershy had thwarted her plans, it had come close to becoming personal. However, BLU team now flat out refused to take any assignment regarding Fort Bumfuck: they were apparently terrified of Fluttershy and Chompy. She had also tried sending in more teams of constructs and machine mercs, but that had proved ineffective. Fluttershy had thrown a refrigerator magnet at one, which had cause it to short out when it stuck to the head. Engineer had discovered from that the effects magnetic force had on the machine mercs electronics, and had designed EM ammunition for the entire team, including an EM bomb for Demoman, the end result meaning that machine mercs were worse than useless in targeting the Fortress...especially since even the vultures would warn Fluttershy of any approaching threat. And constructs alone - even a full team of them - simply weren't fiscally feasible, considering how easily the mercs tore through them and the fact they couldn't respawn.

And if that weren't bad enough, Saxton Hale had become smitten, if you could call it that, with Fluttershy. His entire office was now decorated with every bit of Fluttershy merchandise Mann Co had made for the show, and he did watch every episode religiously on time, even going so far as to order the development of a TV screen and receiver small enough to fit on a glasses lens so he could watch it while he was out of the building fighting someone, and he always wore a pin of Fluttershy's Cutie Mark on his breast pocket. He automatically approved any request from Fort Bumfuck, doubling anything Fluttershy herself ordered. While Mann Co was in no danger of bankruptcy any time soon, Hale's infatuation was seriously cutting into the company's profit margins.

If only there was something, anything she could use to handle that blasted Pegasus...

Her eyes swung up as a flash of light became visible on one of the security cameras. As the light faded, she stared at the nine individuals who appeared on the screen. Five were obviously ponies like Fluttershy, while two more could possibly be the same type of entity, only much bigger. One was a small purple and green lizard thing. And the last...Helen wasn't sure how to describe the last beyond 'what would happen if Medic played Dr. Frankenstein'.

The smaller ponies included a white unicorn, a blue Pegasus, a very pink pony with neither horn nor wings, an orange pony also so lacking, and a purple pony with wings and horn. The larger ponies also had both horn and wings. The smaller was a dark blue, while the largest was pristine white. She started to reach for her console to send security, but then the figures began to speak.

"Are you sure this is the right dimenshawhatsit, Discord?" the orange pony asked. "It looks kinda scary."

"I'm sure this is the right place, Applejack," the amalgam creature - presumably Discord - replied. "This is where we'll find Fluttershy."

"Well, where is she, then?" the blue Pegasus demanded, tossing her rainbow colored mane.

"No idea, Rainbow Dash," Discord replied. Helen couldn't help but groan at the name.

"Then why'd you bring us here?" the pink pony demanded.

"Because, Pinkie Pie, the chaotic nature of this dimension is incredibly strong, and this was the only location anywhere on this planet stable enough to open a portal to," Discord sighed. "As is, I don't dare risk expending any more chaos magic outside my body in this world, aside from opening the portal home once we find her. Otherwise, I risk completely eradicating the stability of this world's dimensional fabric and warping it into the shape of a donut...or possibly a cactus."

The purple pony glowered up at him. "You sure you didn't make a mistake?"

He glowered back. "It's about Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle. I wouldn't make a mistake with the safety of my first friend. Like, say, testing a newly developed dimensional viewing spell in a dusty basement while she was dusting?" The purple pony - Twilight, presumably - looked away, her head down and blushing.

"That's enough," the large white pony spoke up. "For now, we need to investigate our surroundings and figure out where we are and where we can find Fluttershy."

"Right you are, Celestia," Discord said. "No more lollygagging."

"Luna," Celestia addressed the dark blue larger pony, "you're better at such investigations than I. How should we begin?"

Luna glanced around. "I believe we should start by following the mechanical bipedal automaton dressed like a butler over there," she said, pointing to the side of the screen. "It appears to be demonstrating a miotaur style welcoming bow, which I would presume is common to all bipeds."

Helen smiled as she watched them head off screen. Her negotiations with Grey Mann had resulted in an alliance with her long term goals in mind, and having someone working with her who followed her same conspiratorial thought processes was a pleasant novelty...not that she trusted him for a moment.

She swiveled her chair to face the door as it opened, the robot butler leading the way. "Your guests, Miss," it said politely, bowing as it left.

Helen smiled coldly. "Welcome, strangers. How can I assist you? I understand you are looking for a friend of yours?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, we are. Can you help us?"

Helen thought for a time, deciding it was time to gather some intel. "How long ago did she go missing?"

"Two months," Discord supplied. "It took a long time to sort through all possible dimensions to locate this one."

Helen frowned thoughtfully. There was obviously more to Fluttershy's arrival than there seemed, as it had apparently included reverse aging and time dilation, if two months equaled 16 years. "You wouldn't happen to be looking for a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane and tail and blue eyes?"

"You've seen her?" Rainbow Dash shouted, flying up to her. "Where is she? Please tell us!"

Helen held up a hand. "Calm down," she said coldly. "Retrieving her won't be as simple as you think."

"What do you mean?" the white unicorn asked. "Surely we can just locate her, teleport to her, and then open the portal home?"

"When has anything thou and thy companions done been that simple, Rarity?" Luna pointed out.

"And why are you so happy, Spike?" Celestia asked in confusion.

"Are you kidding?" the lizard creature replied. "For the first time since moving to Ponyville, Twilight and the others are going on an adventure, and I get to go along! This is so exciting and awesome!"

"But what about Fluttershy?" Applejack asked incredulously. "How can you be so blasé about the danger she could be in?"

"Because it's us!" Spike pointed out. "Seriously, between the eight of us, there's probably nothing in this world we can't handle."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Helen pointed out. "You see, those Fluttershy is with are...unlikely to be willing to let her go."

"They're holding her against her will?" Rarity asked, shocked.

"She no longer believes so," Helen replied, putting extra emphasis on her words to let them interpret what they would. "And given that those she is with are on the far side of psychologically sound, who knows what unspeakable things she's witnessed or experienced under their care." Like her pet Chain Chomp's tongue, she added silently, suppressing a shudder.

Discord growled deep in his throat. "And I'm going to be helpless since I don't dare risk my Chaos! Have you got anything we can use to help us fight them?"

As Helen turned towards where Grey Mann was sitting, she was surprised to see he had already prepared what she wanted. While he couldn't come up with plans at her level on his own, he had gotten quite good at anticipating the next stage of each plan once it was unfolding. She gestured to the device he presented. "The ones holding her are the sort to shoot first, ask questions later. As you are unfamiliar with most of the armaments of our world, it's entirely possible - even likely - that one or more of you will die in the assault. So I suggest you take this with you."

"What is it?" Applejack asked nervously.

"It's a portable respawner," Helen explained. "Set it up a safe distance from their Fortress and place a drop of blood from each of you in a petri dish, one dish to each of you. Should you be killed within range of the device - a half mile radius - it will resurrect you. So long as only one of you dies at a time, you won't even experience a time delay."

She wasn't going to explain the additional device in the center of the disc. It was a data recorder. As long as even one of them was respawned, she could later retrieve it and would have a full biological profile of these creatures, all the way down to an analysis of their genetic code and energy generation properties.

Twilight gasped. "Wow! That's amazing!" Seeing the looks on the faces of the two taller ponies, she sighed. "I promise I won't take it apart to try and figure out how it works," she whimpered disconsolately.

Great, Helen thought silently. A pony version of Engineer. She called up a holographic image of the planet. A light illuminated on it. "This is where we are right now." Another light appeared on the same continent, closer to the center. "That is where Fluttershy is. Can you find your way there?"

Pinkie Pie nodded vigorously. "I know the way!" she said happily.

Luna glanced at her. "How?"

"Pinkie Sense!" she said happily. "Besides, I've played this game before!" With that, she pricked her hoof to let a drop of blood fall into a petri dish on the portable respawner, and then dashed out the door.

The other other-worlders glanced at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and followed her out. Luna was the last to say something. "I do not fully trust that human..."

Helen leaned back in her chair and smiled. For once, everything was going to go according to plan.

Fluttershy carefully paced the outer walls of the Fortress, checking all the defensive turrets she had set up and where she had prepared her other combat equipment. Turning towards the sun, she took a deep breath and let it out. She then looked at her own reflection, just to make sure she was ready.

Her pink mane was carefully groomed out straight, tied in a ponytail behind her head so it wouldn't get in her eyes during battle. She had recently dyed a single red streak in it, and it proved a nice contrast. Her red uniform vest-jacket was recently cleaned, and her Cutie Mark pin shone from a recent polishing. Strapped to her back were her primary melee weapons: pan, butterfly bandolier, and tee ball bat. On her right foreleg just below her shoulder was one of her new tattoos. A large red heart was emblazoned in front of a lineup of her family's signature weapons - medigun, flamethrower, rocket launcher, bomb launcher, mini-gun, wrench, baseball bat, dagger, and rifle - with a scroll across the front. Written on the scroll was "Daddy's Girl". In the same place on her left foreleg was her other tattoo, a stylized explosion with a scroll proclaiming "Flawless", to indicate her flawless combat record.

She was rather proud of the fact that - outside of when her family had used paint ball guns and squirt guns to teach her dodging - she had never been hit in combat, which was why she had a tattoo proclaiming it. Truth to tell, though, she was a bit prouder of the events that led to her getting her Cutie Mark.

She had enjoyed the practice combats that Daddy Sir had set up, but she'd wondered what it would be like to dictate a battle. So, gathering the paint ball guns and squirt guns, she had called a few of her animal friends together and instructed them in their use before setting up a mock battle. Using the squirt guns as mediguns to wash off the paint injuries, she was able to direct the entire battle to a quite enjoyable conclusion. She had been having a great deal of fun and was quite proud of herself...until her butt had glowed and the 'weird mark' had appeared. That had freaked her out, and she only learned later that it was normal and something to be proud of.

Today was her first turn as lone sentry on the walls. Her Daddies, Mommy, and Big Brother had decided she was ready for the responsibility, and she was determined to do them proud. So, when her animal friends had told her that a strange group was approaching armed with a portable respawner, she hadn't announced it through the communicator. She had instead set all this up, ready to defend the fortress all on her own. Besides, if she did get over her head, she could always call her Daddies, Mommy, and Big Brother then...or Chompy.

Picking up her sniper rifle, she sighted in the direction she knew the enemy was approaching from, gripping the butt and barrel with a hoof each, holding the trigger with her wing. As soon as she saw the respawner set up, she would choose her target and take her shot.

To be continued...

29: Endgame part 2, High Score

Twilight finished setting up the portable respawner and switched it on. "There we go. It's on."

"How do we know it's working?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I hope we don't find out," Twilight replied.

"Why's that, sugarcube?" Applejack inquired.

"Because the only way we'll know it's working properly is if one of us gets killed and it resurrects us," Twilight replied.

Everyone was silent at that. "Not a pleasant thought," Spike said, glancing around at everypony. It was beginning to set in to him that there was a high probability he was going to watch them get killed, only to rise again and again. That he might as well. He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and rubbing his upper arms. He was surprised as Twilight and Celestia both extended a comforting wing to wrap him in a hug.

"Don't worry, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity spoke up. "We'll all be just fine, I'm sure." To give him extra encouragement, she leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

As Spike smiled goofily at that, Discord raised his head over the pile of rocks Twilight had arranged as cover. "Well, I suppose it's time to find out what we're up against."

"Discord, get down!" Pinkie whispered frantically. "You can't use your chaos here, remember? That makes you the most vulnerable of all of us!"

"Correction," Discord countered, turning his head. "I can't use my chaos-" His words were interrupted by his head exploding, followed by a loud retort. Everyone screamed.

Fluttershy stared through her sniper scope, a pleased smile on her face. She had gotten the first kill. However, she paused when she noticed a couple of things. First, the body hadn't fallen over. Second, her scouter - a special gift from Saxton Hale just for her, which tuned into respawner frequencies so she would always get immediate alerts after a successful kill and kept a record of her kill streak (though for some reason she wasn't supposed to tell the other mercs that at no point did it melt into her ear or explode, according to Saxton's note to her) - hadn't registered a kill notification. She then stared in surprise as the head she had just blown apart with her shot reassembled itself.

"That :yay:ing cheater!" she grumbled, the scouter's auto-censor function using the sound of her cute cheer to block out her angry oath. As always, she couldn't help but giggle. Since discovering that, she had actually started cursing more just because it was too cute to hear. Growling, she retargeted to the large white target.

As Discord's head fully reassembled, he concluded, "-outside my body." He rubbed his face between his eyes. "Did that leave a mark? Tell me my beautiful face isn't scarred."

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Discord, you are-" Her words were cut off as she fell backward, a small hole between her eyes with a large one in the back of her head under her mane, blood staining the prismatic locks. Both Twilight and Spike screamed in fear.

"Get down!" Luna shouted, pulling everyone behind their cover.

Fluttershy (headshot) Celestia

Fluttershy smiled at that notification on her scouter, momentarily wondering about the name before setting her sniper rifle down. She saw the large blue one pull everyone behind cover, which meant sniping wouldn't be an effective tactic for a while. She carefully moved to where Angel was attached to his brace, taking hold of his handle and trigger as she swung him around towards the outside, awaiting the next target.

Behind the cover, Celestia's body glowed before being sucked into the respawner, her body reforming whole. She blinked for a bit before ducking with everyone else. "That was unpleasant," she said mildly, spreading her wings to comfort Twilight and Spike, who had both tackled her in a hug as soon as she had spoken.

Seeing as both usual leaders were busy and distracted, Luna quickly took charge. "Rainbow Dash, do a quick reconnaissance flight over that fortress to see what we're up against."

"What?" Rainbow asked, shocked. "Why am I the one flying into danger?"

"Because you're the only one available other than me who can fly, and you're faster than me," Luna said bluntly. "Besides, you're fast enough to dodge incoming fire, and you have unparalleled flight awareness. You could fly once around the fortress and tell us everything about it. You're the only one who can, we need you."

Rainbow couldn't help but preen at Luna's praise and pep talk. "I'm on it!" she said, saluting before taking off. She flew rapidly around the fortress, seeing a lot of weaponry set up but no one manning it. Eventually, however, she came around to the front of the fortress, where she saw movement and flew towards it for a better view.

She froze as she approached the figure. While she was different from how she expected with a lot more red than she'd ever seen on her, she recognized that blue eyed gaze easily. "F-Fluttershy?" she called, both in joy and confusion.

The last thing she saw was Fluttershy's happy smile before her world went white with pain, and then her mind went blank.

Fluttershy (Angel) Rainbow Dash

Fluttershy smiled as she watched the bullet riddled body fall, a bit confused as it glowed and was dragged back to the enemy respawner. She felt a slight twinge inside as she read the name. It momentarily felt like she'd done something horrible. However, she brushed that aside, awaiting the next assault.

Rainbow Dash was very shaken as she reformed. "Fluttershy..." she said softly.

"What about Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked eagerly. "Is she in there? Is she okay? Is she-"

"She shot me!" Rainbow yelled out.

As everyone stared at her in shock. Pinkie finally spoke up. "I didn't expect that," she said in wonder.

"Are you...certain you aren't mistaken, Rainbow Dash?" Rarity asked, shivering. "It doesn't seem like her to-"

"I'd know her anywhere!" Rainbow insisted. "I looked her right in the eye, and she smiled at me before pumping my guts full of lead!"

"No more detective novels for Rainbow," Twilight, still clinging to Celestia, mumbled.

"It sounds like she's brainwashed," Pinkie spoke up.

Rainbow only shivered, rubbing her forelegs as she remembered what happened. The feeling of seeing her oldest, best, first friend blow her away like that with a smile would likely haunt her nightmares for a while.

"If that's the case," Discord spoke up, "we'll probably have to capture her forcefully, subdue her, and drag her back home with us so we can restore her original persona from under the brainwashing with the spell Twilight used to break my power over all of you." He glanced around. "So which of us is going to punch Fluttershy?"

"I'll do it," Rainbow said firmly. She pushed herself to her hooves. "If anyone's going to beat the feathers off Fluttershy, it's going to be me." She took off, heading towards the Fortress.

Fluttershy smiled as she saw Rainbow Dash fly back out from cover. She saw her heading straight up to come down at a high angle, to high to target her with Angel. Smiling, she picked up her rocket launcher. One explosion later...

Fluttershy (Rocket Launcher) Rainbow Dash

She smiled happily, then frowned as she saw the blue Pegasus taking flight from behind the artificial cover again. "Persistent, aren't you?" she cooed. This time, she grabbed her tee ball bat from its holster on her side, bracing herself as her target approached at high speed. At the last moment, she side stepped and swung.

Fluttershy (Home Run!) Rainbow Dash

She watched the severed head fly through the air before it and the body were once more sucked up by the respawner. Setting down her bat, she lifted out her pan as the mare came in for another dive.

Fluttershy (Pan) Rainbow Dash

She watched her pancake faced victim fall backwards before once more being sucked into the respawner. Seeing the blur, she sighed as she reached for her knives.

Fluttershy (butterfly knife) Rainbow Dash

She carefully pulled her knife from the now even more crimson eye. As the body was once more reclaimed by the respawner, she idly wondered why it wasn't leaving bodies behind as she drew the sword she'd borrowed from Boom Daddy.

Fluttershy (Eyelander) Rainbow Dash

She watched the bisected pony fall as she picked up her shotgun for the next attack.

Fluttershy (shotgun) Rainbow Dash

As she watched the splattered body fall, she picked up her newest weapon, a cooperative design by Daddiem and Daddenji. It was time to test how it would work, and if it would even work on these targets.

As Rainbow Dash flew back towards her, Fluttershy switched her Medigun on in reverse. As the blue light was drawn out of Rainbow's body and into the gun, Rainbow's face showed surprise as she dropped out of the sky, crashing into the wall of the Fortress in a twisting motion as she splattered.

Fluttershy (Medi-Drain) Rainbow Dash

As Rainbow Dash returned again, Fluttershy held up the other end of the new device and pulled the trigger, releasing a blast of energy that vaporized the approaching Pegasus.

Fluttershy (Medirupt) Rainbow Dash

Fluttershy watched as the molecules were drawn in in specks of light to the respawner. Setting her weapon down, she picked up what was normally a tool for the next assault.

Fluttershy (wrench) Rainbow Dash

She pulled out a cloth to wipe the blood from the wrench, but was surprised to see it drawn away by the respawner energy. "Certainly the cleanest battle I've ever been in," she said mildly. She then stuck her backhooves into weighted gloves nearby before bucking backwards into the approaching Pegasus.

Fluttershy (double upper-buck) Rainbow Dash

Slipping out of the gloves, she reached for a bomb launcher before turning around into what was supposed to be a surprise charge.

Fluttershy (head bomb) Rainbow Dash

Flutterhsy then turned her turrets on, programming them to fire on an intercept course. As Rainbow Dash flew over the wall for a side on charge, the turrets locked on and fired at point blank.

Fluttershy (Turret) Rainbow Dash

Lifting up a nozzle hooked to a large pack, she turned and opened the valve, letting the pilot light do its work as her target screamed in the flames.

Fluttershy (flamethrower) Rainbow Dash

As she saw Rainbow Dash coming up yet again, Fluttershy groaned in frustration. "This is getting old," she said, hurling a knife into the attacker's throat.

Fluttershy (knife) Rainbow Dash

"Let me kill someone else already!" she groaned in frustration as she leapt out from behind Rainbow at her next charge, driving a knife into her back.

Fluttershy (backstab) Rainbow Dash

As Rainbow came up for another charge, Fluttershy's anger peaked. Her eyes locked with Rainbow's as she gazed at her with powerful intensity as she flew at top speeds. "Drop," Fluttershy ordered.

Rainbow's wings gave out, and she fell out of the sky, her brain blank as she slammed into the Fortress wall again.

Fluttershy (Taunt Kill *Stare*) Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash huddled in on herself after respawning. "How about someone else take her on now?" she whimpered.

"Where did Fluttershy of all ponies learn to fight like that?" Rarity wondered, shocked.

"And where did she get all those wonderful toys?" Pinkie asked eagerly.

"Well, I think it's time I give it a go," Rarity said, swallowing convulsively. Drawing in her magic, she conjured a very small protective shield around herself. "Wish me luck," she said as she walked out of cover.

She carefully positioned her shield to deflect each incoming bullet, bomb, or rocket. Halfway to the fortress, however, she saw something glimmering in the ground. "What's this?" she asked, digging it out before gasping. "Look at this dazzling diamond!" she marveled, holding up the large gem. "Why it must be-"

Sunlight seemed to focus on the gem before a focused laser beam shot out of it, burning a hole straight through Rarity's head.

"A trap," Rarity sighed as she respawned.

Fluttershy (Laser Refractor) Rarity

Fluttershy grinned happily, making a note to tell Daddenji that the new laser gem traps worked wonderfully, especially when a greedy target lifted the gem to the light to examine its sparkle.

"Charge!" a voice yelled out. Fluttershy glanced down and saw an orange pony racing across the ground, only to explode when her hoof came down in the wrong place.

Fluttershy (land mine) Applejack

Fluttershy giggled to herself. "Gotcha," she said softly.

Applejack groaned as she rubbed her head and hoof. "That hurt a lot," she grumbled. She looked up. "Glad the respawner fixed my hat, too, though I don't know why."

"I also don't know why the respawner drags your bodies back to it to recreate all of you," Luna commented.

"Actually," Twilight spoke up, "I think I've figured that out. It must try to recreate us exactly using ambient matter, but our bodies aren't native to this dimension, so the only ambient matter available to recreate us with...is ourselves."

"Convenient," Luna mumbled. "Pinkie, what are you doing?"

"Gonna see if my Pinkie Sense can help me get closer!" she said as she bounced happily out from behind cover.

Fluttershy watched the approaching pony bounce easily between all the traps and other deterrents she had set up on the approach to the Fortress. She decided it was time to test what she had mixed up with Boom Daddy and Mama. "After all, I'm supposed to be hospitable," she said as she launched the blue iced cupcakes over the wall.

"Cupcakes!" the pink pony called out, leaping to catch one with her mouth.

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy smiled, then frowned as she saw the same pony dash out from behind the rocks...only to gobble up another blue iced cupcake.

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

"Maybe I should have baked more than two baker's dozens," Fluttershy mumbled.

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

"Pinkie!" someone shouted from behind the rocks. "Stop eating the cupcakes!"

"But Twilight, they're delicious!" Pinkie shouted. "They're like an explosion of flavor in my mouth!"

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

"They are exploding in your mouth!" Twilight shouted back.

Fluttershy (cupcake bomb) Pinkie Pie

"That's what makes them so good!" Pinkie shouted in reply as she zipped around the field, looking for more.

Fluttershy tilted her head. "I don't know whether to be pleased she likes my cooking or concerned about her mental stability."

Luna looked around at the group. "We are getting our flanks handed to us," she said bluntly.

"Not for long," Celestia said, rising to her hooves. "We will do our best to avoid hurting Fluttershy, but it's time for us to show her what three Alicorn Princesses are capable of when roused!" She spread her wings wide.

"Right!" Twilight said, spreading her own wings with Luna. All three Princesses then took to the air.

Luna took her position behind Celestia and to her left, with Twilight mirroring her to the right. She watched as they made their approach, gathering their magic for an aerial bombardment of spells. However, Luna's long eyes spotted Fluttershy lifting a launcher of some sort. Acting on instinct, she folded her wings and dropped, using her gathered magic to land softly just as two spiked balls stuck to the tip of Celestia and Twilight's horns, a third passing harmlessly over her head. As the two spheres exploded with the two Princesses gathered magical energies, Luna raced back to cover.

Fluttershy (energized sticky bomb) Celestia, Twilight Sparkle

Fluttershy smiled at the kill notifications, but frowned as the third target escaped her fire. She almost had a complete kill ratio. It would be so disappointing if she ended this battle without getting at least one of everyone...except the cheating regenerator. That still rankled.

Luna glanced around at everyone as Celestia and Twilight reformed. "Well, all our attempted assaults have failed. The defenses are too well prepared for us, and one blast back here and we won't be able to try again any more. Anyone have any suggestions on how we can get inside to-"

"We just want to get inside?" Pinkie asked. "I can do that!"

Luna raised her eyebrow. "Then do so."

Smiling, Pinkie stuck her head over the rocks, waving a white flag. Luna groaned in frustration.

Fluttershy stared at the pink pony in perplexity. "What is she doing?" she wondered. The pony was exposing herself to fire, and waving that flag as though it would somehow protect her. She decided it was time to consult her Daddies. She lifted her communicator. "Poof Daddy?"

Spy held up his hand to stop the poker game he and the others were playing. He put his hand to his communicator, tweaking it so everyone would hear the transmission. "Yes, Fluttershy?"

"I have an assaulting group pinned down, and I think they're trying something sneaky. So I thought-"

"Wait," Soldier said into his communicator. "Did you say you have an entire assaulting group pinned down?"

"Yes, General Daddy Sir," she replied. "All nine of them too scared of me to come out from behind cover."

"Why didn't you call us when we came under attack?" Scout asked.

"I was only supposed to call if something came up I couldn't handle, wasn't I?" Fluttershy asked.

Medic chuckled. "Valid point."

"You said they were trying something sneaky?" Spy asked.

"Yes, that's why I called you, Poof Daddy."

"What is it they are doing?" Spy asked

"One of them is sticking her head over the cover and waving a white flag at me."

The entire table sans Spy cracked up laughing. "Yeah, Spy was the one to ask about that!" Scout called out, ignoring Spy's glare.

Spy sighed. "Fluttershy, the white flag means they are surrendering."

"Oh," Fluttershy replied. "Umm...what does that mean?"

"They don't want to fight anymore. They are giving up."

"Oh." Fluttershy was silent for a time. "So...what am I supposed to do now?"

The mercs glanced amongst themselves, looking for an answer. None of them had ever had an opponent surrender to them, so they didn't actually know what to do. Engineer, remembering something Fluttershy said, asked a different question. "Fluttershy, did you say she was waving a white flag? Who or what are your opponents?"

"Umm...it looks like most of them are ponies...like me."

Engineer's face went pale. "Fluttershy, gather your gear and open the front gates, then meet us at the main entrance to the fortress proper." He stood up from the table. "Everyone, grab your gear on the way out. This is...going to be an important day."

They all stood up. None of them looked happy. They all knew what this meant. Others of Fluttershy's kind had shown up. Whatever the result, today would change everything.

To be continued...

Author's Note

A bit of detail on the cupcake bombs.

Cupcakes would be an equip that has a certain amount of ammo. Anyone equipped with them would be able to dispense cupcakes with icing in their colors, and that of the opposing team.

If a RED player drops red iced cupcakes, they are healing items. If the RED player drops blue iced cupcakes, they are bombs.

As you can imagine, this would be most effective - and chaos inducing - if at least one player from each team is equipped with Cupcakes.

30: Endgame part 3, Continue?

As the front gate of the outer wall opened, Pinkie Pie looked back at the others. "I think they accepted our surrender!" she said happily.

Luna groaned. "I still cannot believe we surrendered," she grumbled. "If the Night Guard hear of this, I will never live it down."

Twilight glanced over the rocky cover and pointed. "Look, all the mines and traps are deactivating." It was true. The land mines had extended their switches, revealing their locations to direct a safe path through, and the other traps had also shut themselves off.

"They probably do that so they don't blow themselves up on the way in," Discord pointed out.

"It looks like we've been invited in," Spike pointed out.

"Well, it wouldn't be polite of us to refuse, now would it?" Rarity queried, tossing her head before turning to head inside.

"Wait!" Applejack spoke up. "It could be a trap!"

"Darling," Rarity said slowly, "we are already getting our collected flanks handed to us. What need would they have to trap us at this point?"

Applejack struggled to think of something, but failed. "Fine," she grumbled.

Celestia stepped forward, leading the group forward through the gates. Waiting for them were nine humans that were difficult to describe in their experience, although the matching uniforms indicated they were a unit. Standing with them was Fluttershy, wearing the same uniform as the humans. It was almost difficult to recognize her with the red streak in her mane, the markings on her forelegs, and the weapons strapped to her back. If not for the resonation she felt from the Element of Kindness - which they'd brought with to help find her - she might have thought it was some other pony, except that she had the same soft, open, shy smile. What could they have done to her to change her so much in such a short time? Celestia wondered to herself.

Composing herself, she spoke up. "Fluttershy," she said calmly, "we've come for you. It's time to go home."

Fluttershy blinked. "But...I am home. What are you talking about, Celestia?"

Celestia was surprised at the casual informality, and she plainly wasn't the only one. "Not that I'm complaining," Discord stated, "but don't you normally call her Princess Celestia?"

Fluttershy tapped the metal thing she was wearing over her left ear and eye. "My scouter didn't say she was a Princess when I blew her brains out," she stated matter-of-factly. "And...what do you mean normally? I've never met her - or any of you - before."

Discord fell back in shock, looking like he'd just been punched in the gut. Twilight and the others weren't much better. "What do you mean?" Twilight said in shock. "It's us! We've been friends ever since I moved to Ponyville just under a year ago!"

"We've been friends since we were kids!" Rainbow Dash gasped out, on the verge of tears.

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. "But...but I've lived here all my life, ever since Daddiem found me in a paper bag!" She wrapped her forelegs around Medic, and he reached down and stroked her mane.

Luna was the only one who had the composure to form a question. "Daddiem?"

Fluttershy smiled. "Well, originally they were all Daddy - except for Mama and Big Brother here," she explained, pointing to Pyro and Scout respectively, "-but since they all came running when I called, I needed to distinguish. So there's Daddiem, Boom Daddy, Poof Daddy, Big Daddy, Daddenji, Bang Daddy, and General Daddy Sir!" She gestured to each of them in turn as she introduced them.

Soldier raised his fingers to the star on his helm. "She gave me the promotion," he said softly, a big smile on his face.

At this point, everypony was stupefied. Even Discord looked confused. Spike finally spoke up. "Dude, that's freaky. How the heck is this...she only disappeared 2 months ago!"

"I can explain that one," Engineer spoke up.

"You can, Daddenji?" Fluttershy asked.

"I can. See, 15 years back when you showed up in the bag as a foal, you were giving off numerous wavelengths of energy not native to our own dimension. I've already checked, and this lot are giving off similar wavelengths to some of those, but exactly two months ago, two of the energies you were giving off spiked violently before dissipating completely. I'm guessing one was chroniton waves, which dissipated when our timeline caught up to your home world's timeline as far as when you vanished. The other was probably whatever reverse aged you to a foal wearing off completely when you caught up to yourself."

Twilight blinked. "You mean I not only sent her into another dimension accidentally, but I also sent her back in time and turned her into a foal?"

"I did say it was too soon for you to experiment with Alicorn magic, Twilight," Celestia whispered to her, making her duck her head and blush.

Fluttershy nodded at Engineer's explanation. "Okay. Not the strangest thing I've ever heard."

The other ponies could only stare. If that wasn't the strangest thing she'd ever heard...

"Do we want to know the strangest?" Applejack asked.

"I once killed the Grimm Reaper and then asked him to explain how he was able to die," Fluttershy replied. "It hurt my head."

They all stared at her for a time, though Discord noticed the proud smiles on the faces of several of the humans. Eventually, the silence was broken by Spy. "Excuse me," he said, "but what did you mean about it being time for her to 'go home'? Are you going to...take her away from us?"

Fluttershy flinched visibly at this suggestion. Celestia spoke up. "Yes. She is originally of our world, and for the sake of our world, she must return." She turned to Fluttershy. "Come along, my little pony, it's time to-"

"NO!" Fluttershy shouted, clinging to Heavy's leg. "I don't want to go! I'm not going to go! You can't make me!"

Everyone could only stare, Engineer most of all. While he had expected that others might have come to take Fluttershy back to her world, he had never expected Fluttershy to refuse so vehemently.

Fluttershy continued speaking. "I don't want to leave you, ever! Big Brother, you said my wish would come true if I blew out the candles in one breath and never told anyone! I blew out all the candles in one breath every year, every year the same wish, and I never told anyone! Why didn't it come true, Big Brother!" There were tears in her eyes as she now clung to Scout's leg.

"Shy..." he said in awe, realizing what her wish on her fifth birthday - and every birthday following - must have been. He kneeled down and pulled her into a hug.

"I am sorry, Fluttershy," Celestia said softly, "but when you remember your life and destiny, you will thank me." Her horn began to glow.

"Excuse me, miss," Sniper spoke up, breaking her concentration. "But am I to understand you are kidnapping Fluttershy against her will, and intend to mess with her memories?"

"If that is what is necessary," Celestia replied grimly.

Soldier stepped forward. "If Fluttershy had chosen to go with you, we'd have sent her off with a smile, well wishes, and a promise to find a way to stay in contact, even if we never managed to keep it. But as for taking her against her will..." Swinging his rocket launcher to his shoulder, he sighted and fired.

The rocket flew millimeters over Celestia's horn, arced over the rocky cover, and slammed into the respawner, obliterating it.

Soldier then leveled his rocket launcher straight at Celestia, as everyone else drew their weapons and surrounded, Fluttershy in a protective circle. "Over our multitude of dead bodies," Soldier growled.

"Hrr, HRRRR!" Pyro confirmed, his voice through his mask resounding with bestial fury, like the roar of a mother bear protecting her cub.

Twilight's eyes widened. "That...was our respawner...death's permanent now..." She looked absolutely terrified.

Celestia backed up in shock. "But...but if Fluttershy doesn't return with us, the magic of Equestria will collapse and our world will die!"

"Tough shit for Equestria," Demoman blurted out, dropping money into the plainly labeled swear jar that Engineer held out to him. This startled an amused snort from Discord.

"How can you say that?" Applejack demanded. "A...a whole world is gonna die!"

"Ain't our world," Scout said simply, smacking his baseball bat into his palm.

"But you can't turn your back on creatures in need!" Pinkie yelled out. "You're the title characters! You're heroes!"

The mercs stared at her for a time, then all burst out laughing. Even Fluttershy found it in herself to abandon her despair to giggle along with them.

Pinkie blinked for a while. "Wow, that must have been some joke, but I don't get it."

Heavy spoke up. "We not heroes, pony. We are mercenaries."

"We fight who we get paid to fight, and that's it," Scout added.

"None of us are angels," Sniper added. "We're all pretty far on the other side of morality...and sanity, for that matter."

"I lost my medical license for removing someone's skeleton while they lived, just to see what would happen," Medic pointed out.

"I talk to my collection of severed heads on a regular basis," Soldier added. "I severed them myself."

"My Australian friend and I are probably the sanest of our group," Spy pointed out, gesturing to Sniper, "and we are professional assassins."

"After that is me," Engineer adds, "and I mess with the fabric of creation and the laws of causality for fun and so I can watch my TV shows."

"And no one's really sure what's up with Pyro," Scout said, gesturing.

"Oh, he just wants to go to Rainbow Land," Fluttershy informed them happily.

The mercs all stared at Fluttershy. "You can understand him?" they all said, pointing at Pyro.

"You can't?" she asked in shock.

Celestia spluttered, trying to come up with something to say. Luna, however, had an idea. "So we obviously won't be able to appeal to your altruism, since you all appear to be lacking in that."

Heavy grinned. "We used up all that when we adopt Fluttershy," he laughed.

"Then I shall appeal to a different quality," Luna said calmly. She turned. "Fluttershy, I understand your reason for not wanting to come back with us is that you don't want to leave your family, correct?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"What if they came with you?"

Everyone stared at Luna in shock. "Huh?"

"If they came with you - if you weren't separated from your family - would you have any objections to returning to Equestria with us?" Luna asked again.

Fluttershy thought for a bit, then shook her head. "No, that'd be fine. I mean, General Daddy Sir always said there was a chance we would be assigned to a different fortress, so don't get too attached to this one."

"Now hang on a minute," Soldier spoke up. "We can't just up and leave just to please you!"

Reaching into her saddlebag, Luna tossed a large bag to the ground at Soldier's feet. It clinked heavily with the sound of gold coins. "That's why I want to hire you all," Luna explained.

Soldier opened the bag. It was full to the brim of gold bits. "Is this...gold?" he whispered in surprise, holding a coin up to the light.

"Indeed," Luna explained. "It is our currency. You are holding one bit coin there."

Soldier stared at the coin. It weighed about an ounce, making that single coin worth about $615 in the current economy. "...just how much are you offering?"

Luna smiled. "20,000 bits each to break your present contract and come work for me, 5000 bits annual stipend each, plus an extra 5000 each per special assignment."

Celestia gasped. "Luna, do you have any idea what that will do to the Equestrian Economy?"

"We can cut the noble's pension fund by 15% as allowed under the National Magical Security Act of 575 CE and pay all nine of them three times over every year and still have some left over for Special Discretionary Budgets, such as arming them." Luna smiled. "I suspected that there was a possibility whoever had Fluttershy was unscrupulous and we would have to buy her off them, so I looked up exactly how much we could make available for such a thing before we left."

"Wait," Soldier spoke up. "All that money, and you provide free weapons and ammunition?"

Luna smiled. "And a base of operations. About the only necessity you'll have to spend your money on would be groceries." She glance at their pronounced canines as they grinned at her. "I admit the cost of importing quality meat products into our herbivorous community will be a mite more expensive than you're used to, but it will be easy to get quality."

Luna sat back with a wide smile as she watched them think this over, knowing exactly what they would decide. They were mercenaries, after all, so she had appealed to their greed. She had them by their wallets.

"I'm in!" eight of them shouted excitedly.

"Hr HRR!" Pyro cried, bouncing up and down with joy.

"Mama's in, too," Fluttershy translated.

Luna grinned widely. "I am glad. I am Princess Luna, Diarch of Equestria."

Soldier saluted. "Reporting for duty, then, ma'am!"

Celestia smiled. "In that case, let's gather your belongings and-"

"Who asked you, sunbutt?!" Soldier barked. "I don't recognize you in my chain of command, maggot!"

As Celestia blanched, Discord cackled. "I like him!"

Luna smiled. "Gather your belongings...Team RED MOON. I will give you your primary assignment when we reach Equestria." The team dispersed to gather their belongings. "Rainbow Dash, Discord, perhaps you two should assist Fluttershy in gathering her belongings. She won't have as easy a time carrying things designed for hands as the others will."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah. And...I need to try and reconnect with New Fluttershy." She tilted her head in confusion at Rarity and Pinkie Pie's violent shudders.

"I'd like to see what she's like now, too," Discord said softly, sounding almost depressed.

Fluttershy looked up as Rainbow Dash and Discord walked into her room. "Oh, hello. I wasn't expecting you to follow me in."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Figured you might appreciate a helping hoof getting all your stuff together," she said, trying to be cool.

Fluttershy smiled. "Oh, I've already gathered everything," she explained, pointing to a duffel bag, a large suitcase, and a giant bunny plushie. On the other side of the room was a large weapon case, with her mini-gun, pan, and butterfly knives resting on top of it. "But you can help me carry it out if you like."

"Sure, that'd be cool," Rainbow said. She noticed Fluttershy staring at her. "What?"

"Say that again," she said suddenly, ruffling through her duffle bag.

"What, that'd be cool?" she asked in confusion.

Fluttershy pulled out her rubber ducky and squeezed it a few times. "You are dead! Not big surprise!" "It's time to practice medicine!" "UAHAHAHAHAHA!" She squeezed it one more time.

"It needs to be about 20% cooler."

All three in the room gasped, and Fluttershy suddenly glomp-tackled Rainbow Dash. "It's you!" she cried happily. "When I was younger, something always felt missing here, and when I heard that voice from my rubber ducky, it felt like the missing piece. It was you that was missing!"

Rainbow Dash blinked a few times, then smiled, hugging her back. "It is still you, Shy," she said softly, struggling against her tears.

Discord glanced around the room. "I suppose you named this fellow Angel?" he asked, pointing to the bunny plushy.

Fluttershy shook her head. "Nope, that's Angel," she said, pointing to her mini-gun. She then pointed to the bunny plushy. "That's Devil Bastard."

Rainbow reacted rather predictably.

Discord blinked a few times, then grinned widely. "I think I'm going to enjoy getting to know the new you, Fluttershy. Though I'll miss the old you. You taught me the meaning of Friendship."

Fluttershy smiled. "Well, I could always teach you the meaning of Friendship...with Explosions."

Discord's grin became positively wicked.

As everyone gathered once more outside, Luna turned to Discord. "Open the gate home for us," she instructed.

"Wait," Celestia spoke up. "What about Fluttershy's memories?"

Fluttershy blinked. "My...memories?"

Luna shook her head. "Celestia, you are too straightforward sometimes. I can give her her memories of her old life with us in her dreams."

"But a pony mind can't hold all the memories of one lifetime, let alone two!" Celestia pointed out.

Luna chuckled. "And while with any other pony this would mean one personality would have to overrule the other, this is Fluttershy. The very core of her nature is compromise, kindness, putting others before herself. Once she has dreamed her entire life in Equestria, the two personas will exist in her mind simultaneously...and they will compromise. Much as ponies do naturally while they live, the two personas will sort through the two lifetimes worth of memories, choose those that are most important to save and discard the rest. Similarly, they will determine which qualities are central to their being as Fluttershy and which can be discarded or allowed to overlap. When she awakens, she will not exactly be the Fluttershy we knew in Equestria, nor will she exactly be the Fluttershy raised by these mercenaries. She will be a fusion of both, with the memories of both...and she will be able to wield her Element with the others." Opening the box containing the Element, she smiled. "Besides, it seems your plan wouldn't have worked after all."

The Element of Kindness was still a pink butterfly jewel...but it now had a bee stinger. Looking over, the ponies saw how it matched Fluttershy's new Cutie Mark.

Celestia sighed. "Alright, Luna...you were right."

As Luna smiled, Discord opened the portal to Equestria.

Author's Note

Well, that's the last main chapter of the story. Betting I caught most of you off guard with that ending, huh?

There will be four short epilogue chapters upcoming. Before I get started, I'd like to know if you all would like to read them one at a time or all at once.

Epilogue 1: Goodbye

As the group walked towards the portal Discord had opened, Fluttershy gasped. "Oh no! In all the excitement of remembering Rainbow Dash, I nearly forgot Chompy!" She turned, whimpering. "Oh I hope he won't be upset! He gets to do so little with me as is..." She blinked as she noticed Rainbow and the other mares her size and the dragonling giggling. "What?"

"Oh, we're not laughing at you, Fluttershy," Twilight hastened to reassure her.

"We're just so glad so much of you is still...well, you," Rarity pointed out.

"I can't count the number of times you've fussed over some poor critter right in the middle of things," Applejack added with a smile.

"Oh! Remember that time we were attacked by a manticore when we were looking for the Elements of Harmony?" Pinkie piped up. "And Fluttershy stopped us from fighting it because she noticed it was already injured, and she pulled the thorn out of its paw and it started licking her face? That was soooo her all over!"

Fluttershy smiled. "Glad to hear I haven't changed all that much," she said, putting her hoof to her mouth and giving a sharp whistle.

"Betting Chompy's a dog," Spike said in an aside to Pinkie.

"Might be a crocodile," Pinkie pointed out. "They've got tons of those here in Australia."

"Arf!" echoed over the landscape.

"See, dog," Spike said, before there was a sudden resounding crash. "A...big dog?"

Chompy crashed through the outer wall of the fortress, mouth wide open as he bounced towards Fluttershy. With a scream, six ponies and a dragonling raced through the portal. Chompy landed right next to Fluttershy and nuzzled her, leading to her caressing him. "Oh, Chompy. Guess what? We've been reassigned. We'll be going through that portal."

Chompy glanced towards the portal - and the fact that it was about a third his circumference - and gave a curious bark.

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh, that is a problem. Discord, can you make the portal a bit bigger?"

Discord chuckled as he stretched the portal out. "Still befriending the really scary animals, I see," he chuckled.

"If it's going to be that big," Engineer said, turning towards the fortress, "I can dig up our respawner and take it through for our new base."

While they waited, Luna looked over Chompy. "A rather endearing creature, I must say. I don't see why my sister and the others found him so frightening-"

Chompy rocked back, opened his mouth, and his tongue shot out, seizing a passing aerial spy drone from a couple thousand feet up and dragging it into his mouth to be devoured.

Luna stared. "I am the Princess of the Night," she said slowly. "One of my duties is to watch over the dreams of my subjects, ensuring they are pleasant and helping them to deal with the nightmares. As such, I have seen every monster ever conjured from the dark recesses of the subconscious mind, spawned from every bogeyman and fairy tail ever told. At one point as Nightmare Moon, I even crafted them. These things never held fear for me.

"...and I just soiled myself," she finished with a whimper.

"I'd be more inclined to laugh at you had I not taken shelter from that tongue behind and under you," Discord sputtered, snatching Demoman's canteen to clear his mouth. He then hiccupped. "Damn! ...That'sh...that's the good shtuff!"

As the mercs all laughed, the group headed through the portal, which closed behind them.

Saxton Hale watched, doing his darndest to remain stoic, as he watched what he knew would be the last he ever saw of Fluttershy and her family. He didn't blame the mercs for breaking their contract: had they contacted him, he'd have ordered them to go with her. His only regret was that he would not follow, and would never be able to see Fluttershy at work in her adorable bloodthirsty antics. But she had her happy ending now...and that was what mattered.

He stroked his hand over his chest. He had tried wearing a shirt to pin Fluttershy's pin to his breast pocket, but it was too instinctive to tear it off to fight. He had tried pinning it to his thick chest hair, but it didn't stay on. So he had instead tattooed the symbol onto his own chest. His fingers caressed that symbol now. "Goodbye, Fluttershy," he whispered, his vision of his desk blurring.

"Sir?" his aid asked. "Are you...crying?"

"No!" he proclaimed hotly. "Not crying! Real men don't cry!" His hand went up to his eye, and he felt the water. "This...this is liquid pride!"

"Liquid...pride?" the aid asked.

"Yeah!" Saxton asserted. "Collect some samples and take it to the lab. See if you can't turn it into a bomb to turn hippies into real men!"

"Sir!" the aid said quickly, rushing to do as directed.

Saxton turned his chair around as he let himself be lost in thought. Alone, he realized just how much he had come to care for Fluttershy. The sheer magnitude of merchandise in his room - from the tiniest figurine up to the life size plushie of Fluttershy with all her armaments (which actually worked) - opened his eyes to how much knowing that little filly was happy really mattered to him. He had to find some way to check and make sure.

"Wait!" he said, leaping to his feet. "My fist is the mightiest this world has ever seen!" He held up his clenched fist. "My punch can break steel, break mountains, break records, Break Bad! Who says it can't break into other people's worlds?!" With that, he drew his fist back and with a very DBZ style power up scream (it took a full ten minutes) he punched the air in front of him with all his might, and watched the air in front of him fall open.

Passing through the portal, he found himself in a world full of anthropomorphic animals obsessed with fighting. He stayed there for a time, enjoying duking it out with all the characters there where it was actually a challenge to hold his own, before eventually punching his way back into Mann Co. Headquarters.

Upon his return, he discovered that the Liquid Pride Bomb was a complete success, and did in fact turn hippies into real men. However, for some reason it gave them all rainbow colored hair. Saxton didn't see the problem here, as Fluttershy apparently liked Rainbow hair, given how eagerly she hugged Rainbow Dash. Saxton then proceeded to debate with himself whether he should dye his hair rainbow colors so she would like him better or to dye it pink to remember her by. The debate lasted for many hours, and by the time it ended with the decision to craft wigs of both colors and alternate, he had forgotten about his plan to go to Equestria and his ability to punch into other worlds until it became plot convenient to remember.

Epilogue 2: I'm Home

Pyro stared around at the land before him as he stepped through the portal. The bright colors, the shimmering light, the energy given off by every living thing...there was no other explanation. This was Rainbow Land. Fluttershy had brought him to Rainbow Land.

He sank to his knees, falling back to sit on his feet, arms limp at his side. As he stared out at this mystical land he had long thought was delusion, tears fell from his eyes behind his mask, and he shook slightly with his sobs of pure joy.

Behind him, he heard Engineer speak up. "How come they're all asleep?"

Confused, Pyro turned to see what he meant. Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Spike were all on their sides, snoring softly. Luna and Discord stood over them. Luna spoke up. "I need to do some slight alterations to their memories before giving Fluttershy the memories of her old life."

Engineer frowned. "What sort of alterations?" He obviously wasn't happy with this information.

"The battle where Fluttershy killed them so freely and efficiently," Luna explained. "When Fluttershy recovers her memories, her old persona would be drastically traumatized and reviled at so freely butchering her friends. At the same time, Rainbow need not remember being so brutally slain - over and over - by her oldest friend, nor Spike remember witnessing his mother figure, big sister figure, and crush being blown to bits before his very eyes. None of them need those memories, as they would only hurt them." She levitated the scouter off Fluttershy. "They will remember witnessing Fluttershy showing her great combat prowess, and being both awed and somewhat frightened by it, but none of them will remember they were the target of her skills. Engineer, can you alter the records on the scouter so Fluttershy cannot find through it what she had done? Perhaps you can make it look like the data was not yet saved and the portal wiped it, which is why there's no record of the battle she remembers?"

Engineer nodded. "Sure, I can do that," he said, taking the scouter. "I take it ponies aren't normally as comfortable with death and killing as we are?"

"No," Luna replied. "1000 years ago, things were different, which is why it does not bother me as much. And Discord is the Spirit of Chaos, and very little bothers him."

"I'm really going to love having these guys around," Discord said as he floated up over the team of mercs. "They're going to sow so much chaos just by being here, disrupting the lives of so many ponies and altering the equilibrium of the world...and Celestia can't even blame me this time, because you brought them here, Luna!" He cackled loudly. "Such a wonderful gift, Princess, and it's not even my birthday!"

Luna sighed. "As I said," she groaned, "very little bothers him."

"Say," Discord spoke up, "what's up with the fire guy? Isn't he normally bouncing up and down and waving his arms wildly? He's just sitting there unmoving, hardly fun."

Pyro realized everyone was looking at him. Helplessly, he gestured out at the world around him, trying to find some way to explain what was going through his head now, but he had no voice to share them.

As everyone stared at each other in confusion, Luna stepped forward, her horn glowing. "With your permission," she requested, gesturing with her horn towards his forehead.

He thought about what she was saying, and realized she was asking permission to look into his mind for answers. He nodded.

Stepping forward, Luna placed her horn to his forehead. He felt her magic flowing into his mind, so slowly, so gently. It felt like refreshingly cool water in his mind, slowing the rapid fire synapse surge of his thoughts. He relaxed into her magical flow, feeling his mind slowly open in response.

Luna frowned. "I see. The Rainbow Land Fluttershy mentioned...you long thought it a delusion, a sign of your mind failing you. You used it to shield yourself from what you did as part of the team, to convince yourself you weren't the monster you knew you were." Her frown deepened. "Before you joined the team...the people who tried to 'treat' your 'delusion'..." Anger entered her voice. "Butchers!" she barked. She glanced towards the others. "No offense."

"None taken," Medic replied with good humor.

She turned her attention back to Pyro's mind. "But Fluttershy felt like a piece of Rainbow Land..." She suddenly gasped. "Rainbow Land was never delusion!" As her magic flowed into him, flame leapt from his hand. "You've been gifted with magic since birth!" The entire team gasped in shock, Pyro included. "But your world has so little magic, your mind had no frame of reference for it...and you saw beyond your world into a world of magic. Ours was the closest, and so you saw our world, slightly distorted by the dimensional boundary into the 'delusion' you knew."

Pyro glanced around at the world once more, realizing that yes, it wasn't exactly like the Rainbow Land he saw. It was more real, more fleshed out.

Luna continued her examination. "Your magic naturally is in tune with fire...and it responded to the Australium used in the manufacture of your more advanced equipment and weaponry." She pulled back, confused. "What is Australium?" Luna asked in confusion.

"This," Engineer said easily, pulling out a block of it he kept in his gear for experiments.

Luna reached out with her magic towards the block and gasped, pulling her magic back rapidly. "Mana Stone!" she gasped out.

"Eh?" Soldier asked, confused.

"Occasionally, the magical field of our world becomes especially intense, and the magic crystalizes in solid form, a magical ore. We call it Mana Stone, and it's one of the rarest, most valuable minerals that can be found anywhere. It's primary use outside spell components is for prosthetic horns, as it has the same magic conducing properties as the carbuncle core of a Unicorn or Alicorn's horn." She looked closely at the lump of Australium. "But I've never seen a deposit this pure, this large."

"We call it Australium," Engineer explained. "It's a mineral found only in Australia in our world, and the energy it gives off has a positive effect on the genetic structure of those who come in contact with it. Between that and the major advance in technology it made possible, Australia's filled with supermen and utopian cities, except for the Outback which is preserved for when people want nature."

Luna stared at the lump. "Given what you said about the amount, I would say at some point in the distant past of your world, 95% of its magical field was concentrated in Australia, and crystalized." She shook her head. "I'm surprised you were able to bring such a large chunk with you."

He shrugged. "It's my own stash. I've got a few blocks for my experiments, and I've got a detector if I need more."

Luna's eyes widened. "You...you can scan for where magic has crystalized into Mana Stone? We've never been able to do so because of the reaction of Mana Stone to magic energies."

Engineer grinned. "Yeah, it's a passive scanner that picks up spikes in the energy field that show the location."

As Luna stepped back, swaying a bit, Pyro turned back to the world around him. That discussion was of no interest to him. Only one thing was on his mind right now.

I'm home...

Epilogue 3: Welcome Back

Fluttershy smiled softly as she led Chompy carefully and quietly to her cottage. It was a bit disorienting, having two sets of memories to live with, but she'd found an equilibrium. All important names, dates, places, and relationships were recalled, while she wound up retaining most of the persona she developed while being raised by her Fortress Family, as she'd come to think of them. She idly wondered how they'd react to her Daddy, one of the few stallions of the Equestrian Military with what Daddy Sir would call "a true military mindset", even if he was forcibly retired now. She knew from what Twilight and the others had told her that they'd kept her disappearance mostly a secret, so she knew it would be up to her to explain to her parents why she was so different now, and introducing them to Daddy Sir and the others. However, she could leave that for another day.

She saw all the animals around her cottage, all looking rather worried. However, the first one to sight her - an eagle - let off a pleased cry, soon followed by even more happy welcomes, which were unfortunately curtailed by silent fear. Fluttershy quickly realized what that was about. "Here you go, Chompy," she said, attaching his chain to the shed behind her cottage. "This'll be a good place for you. Now, no eating the other animals, alright?"

Chompy nodded ascent, and all the animals relaxed and proceeded to swarm her in welcome. She giggled happily. "Well, hello all of you," she whispered to them all. "Yes, I'm glad to be back, too. Yes, I am quite different, aren't I? Yes, nothing to worry about, I'm still me. Just a bit more sure of myself, and a bit more of a badflank." She giggled a bit. "It's going to take some getting used to Equestrian colloquialisms, too. It doesn't quite have the same ring as badass. Oh, you like my tattoos? Thank you. Do you think you could help me with my bags, Harry?"

The bear let off a happy roar, lifting up all of her bags.

"Thanks ever so. The weapon crate goes into the shed, and everything else goes to my bedroom. I'll have to do some renovation to make room for Angel." At an inquiry from a squirrel, she chuckled. "Oh no, I mean my mini-gun. Though Angel Bunny's probably been missing his Mommy, hasn't he?" She turned to head into her cottage.

Angel Bunny practically pounced her as soon as she entered, nuzzling into her as he held her tight. "Oh, Angel Bunny," she said happily, leaning down to nuzzle him back. "I'm so sorry I've been gone so long. But don't worry, Mommy's home now." She held him for a while, comforting him. It was amazing to her how easily this came to her, this mothering instinct. It obviously was truly instinctive, ingrained in the core of her being and impossible to overwrite no matter how she grew up.

After a time, Angel hopped back. Reaching into a cupboard, he pulled out a picture of a rather fancy salad and pointed to it. "Well," Fluttershy said softly, "I suppose I can make you a special salad for a special reunion treat. But I'll have to go shopping for a few things, so if you're really hungry you'll have to have some pellet food in the meantime." When he stamped his foot and pointed more insistently, she frowned. "Angel, I said I will have to go shopping first. No matter how much you stomp your foot and insist, that won't change what ingredients are missing or what I have to do before I go shopping." When Angel lowered his ears and made as if to throw a tissy fit, her frown deepened. "And if you throw a fit to try and get your way, you can forget your special salad completely."

Angel's ears shot up and his eyes widened in shock. "That's right, Angel. I know you've been rather domineering in the past, but that ends now. What I say goes, and my word is the final word. And as much as I love you Angel, if you find that an unacceptable way to live, I won't stop you from seeking other living arrangements. I'll make sure you have plenty of rations on your way out, though, and I will miss you and hope you come visit...assuming you survive wild." She turned to start gathering food for all the animals who needed their feeding, as well as checking what ingredients she needed to buy for Angel's salad.

Angel, meanwhile, stared at Fluttershy in shock. He quickly hopped forward, wrapping his forelegs around one of hers and looking up at her beseechingly.

She smiled down at him. "Oh, Angel, I'd never dream of kicking you out, and I'd never want you to leave. You've been with me so long, after all. If you weren't there, there'd be a hole in my heart, and I'd be terribly sad." She nuzzled him comfortingly. "But letting you get away with anything isn't good for either of us. I'm your Mommy, after all, and part of that is setting down rules and guidelines for you, which I've been terribly remiss in." She kissed him between his ears, and he smiled up at her. "Now, I know how I've changed will take some adjustment on your part, but you can handle it right? For me?" Angel nodded happily. "Thank you."

She finished setting out food dishes, then gathered her bits and saddlebags. "I'll be back soon, Angel," she said softly. "Until I'm back, Chompy's in charge." At Angel's surprised expression, she giggled. "He's out by the shed if you want to say hi. I'm sure you'll like him." She then turned and left.

Angel, meanwhile, crossed his arms. While he could adjust to Fluttershy's change - seriously, he'd been praying for the day she could stand up for herself more, although not necessarily against him - he had worked hard to get and maintain his status as top animal of the cottage. All the others knew to defer to him when Fluttershy was absent, and he wasn't about to let that fall apart because of some new guy. He was going out there and he was going to show this 'Chompy' who was boss, whatever Fluttershy said.

This attitude stayed with him as he went out the back door and rounded toward the front of the shed. However, it left him as he made his last hop to the front. His eyes widened as they trailed along the chain to the black metal, and his jaw dropped as his eyes went up...and up...and up. As his eyes finally reached the bottom of the immense jaw, his ears fell back. His eyes kept going up...and up...and up...and up...

Eventually he met the eyes of the creature, and Chompy turned to him. "Arf!" he said companionably.

Angel fell flat on his back, his paws clutching his chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

Fluttershy walked out to the Ponyville market, looking around for the things she needed for the special salad. She already had everything she needed except for asparagus, cherry tomatoes, and a cherry. "Well, this shouldn't be too difficult," she said as she walked through the market. She remembered vaguely that the first time she had tried to gather these ingredients several months back in this world she had run into trouble with rude ponies who wouldn't get out of her way, which meant she didn't make it to the ingredients in time. However, for some reason ponies this time around were leaping to get out of her way. She idly wondered why. However, she reached the asparagus stand with no problems and managed to buy the last bunch.

"Aw, man!" a rather nerdy looking stallion behind her complained, looking down.

She glanced back at him. She hadn't meant to take it from somepony who needed it. She glanced at the size of the bunch. "You know, I don't really need all of this," she said softly, unbinding the bunch. "I'll split it with you if you'll pay me half what I paid. How's that sound?" She smiled sweetly at him.

"Uh-er-I-un-ughuba..." His mouth continued to make unintelligible noises as his face turned red. He finally nodded, offering her the bits.

She smiled as she placed half the bunch in his own bags before taking the bits. "Thanks ever so," she said happily before turning to go, leaving the stallion still blathering as he struggled to regain control of his mouth. Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle.

The cherry tomatoes were purchased without incident and at a bargain price. And then Fluttershy headed towards the cherry stand. She recognized the stallion who had given her such a hard time last time. "How much for a cherry?" she asked him.

"Ten bits," he said firmly, lifting his nose at her.

She smiled. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard you," she said in a sweetly reasonable tone, one that anyone with sense would immediately recognized as a danger signal.

"What, hard of hearing?" he asked jokingly. "I said-"

"Because I know those cherries are from the Jubilee Orchards at Dodge Junction, and I worked there part time not too long ago. I know for a fact that during the heavy season - which this is - they sell the cherries at 2 bits a basket, averaging between 10 and 15 cherries a basket. I also know that transportation costs for cherries in average size loads average out to half a bit per basket. Your sign also proclaims you bought them straight from the orchard. So you can't be selling a single cherry for 10 bits like I thought I heard, because Equestrian statute dictates anything in excess of 100% profit for a middle-merchant like yourself is classified as Predatory Price Gouging, taking advantage of both customers and farmers, and is punishable by a rather steep fine, if not jail time, and revoking of your Mercantile Produce Transportation License."

She smiled sweetly at his slack-jawed face. "Now...what did you say the price was for a cherry?"

"...they're 5 bits a basket," he whimpered.

"I'm feeling generous today since I only need one, so how about 2 cherries for a bit?" she offered.

"Deal," he said quickly, pushing the two cherries forward.

She placed the bit down on the counter before taking the two cherries. "Pleasure doing business with you!" she said sweetly as she turned to go.

"W-welcome back!" he called out with a stammer.

She paused, then smiled wider. "It's good to be back," she said as she headed for home.

Epilogue 4: Still Alive

Helen stared at the readout on her computer screen. "Did the trace work?" she demanded.

"Yes," Grey Mann replied, gesturing to his readout. "The tracer attached to Luna's tail went undetected, and the ion trail it left through the ether between worlds has established a wormhole from our world to theirs."

Helen smiled mirthlessly. "Is it stable?"

"For now," he admitted. "It is also about as wide as a fly's dick, so it won't be viable for transfer of an invasion/excavation force for some time."

She frowned at that. "How long until we can begin widening the portal?"

"It'll take a few months to find the right energy type to expand the portal without collapsing it," he replied. "Even then, it'll take anywhere from a few months to a year to expand it to the right size without ripping a hole in the space-time continuum. It'd be easier if we could recover any of the data from the recording device on the respawner you gave to the ponies." The snarl in his words at the end would have been grating to anyone else.

"Hardly my fault you didn't design it to withstand a blast from a rocket," she replied blandly.

"You mean I was supposed to anticipate that the mercs would try to destroy it?" he demanded in frustration.

"You always did underestimate the value of dumb muscle," she replied with a shrug. "Just get the portal open."

"I have my Mechengineers working on it as we speak," he replied, frowning as his mind wandered.

"Good." Helen turned her back to him, dismissing him as unimportant beyond that, focusing her attention on her planned conquest and eventual strip mining of Equestria.

Without warning, Grey Mann pulled out an electrified knife and drove it into her back, and she slumped forward, lifeless.

Helen slowly came back to herself, but something felt off. "What's going on?" she asked, pausing as she noticed her voice sounded strange, almost synthesized. Also, her mind was strangely clearer than it had been before. As she looked around, she felt her body swivel in a manner much different than before.

"You told me not to underestimate dumb muscle," Grey Mann said, coming into view. In Helen's vision, a blue box focused in on his face, bringing up a close up of his face as well as pertinent information. "But in truth, I find intelligence eventually always wins."

"Your mechamercs demonstrate that quite clearly," Helen quipped back. As she spoke, she saw text appear at the bottom of her vision stating, 'Sarcasm Processors Fully Operational'.

"Oh, I don't mean artificial intelligence," Grey Mann countered. "I mean real intelligence, like you or I possess. Yours proved to be able to circumvent and conquer mine...temporarily. I realized that, if I'm to accomplish my goals, I needed you at my side...so I surrendered. It was so easy to reach this point once that happened. Now you are on my side, working towards my goals...I just removed the human element. So much more efficient this way." He grinned mirthlessly at her before turning to walk away. "Now about the portal-" His voice was cut off as a spike on a metal tendril drove into the top of his skull. "Wha...how? How can you harm me like this? The safeties..."

Helen blinked internally. She hadn't even realized she had struck forward, or that she had that tendril, but it had responded to her will all the same. This would take some getting used to, but she knew what it was doing. "What are you talking about?" she asked aloud. "I'm not hurting you at all." Begin neural download, she sent the mental command.

Grey Mann flinched as he felt all of his mind being drained from his flesh into the machine. "No..."

"I'm just removing the human element," she continued as his intelligence, experience, and brain power were added to the machine she had become. "You're right, Grey...much more efficient." Turning, she sent another mechanical pseudopod to retrieve her body. He had been incorrect about one thing. She wasn't entirely human, and there were things about her body that could still prove useful in the future.

As Grey Mann was drained completely, he slid off the spike that had stolen his brain, his life. His blood dripped from the spike like a grotesque, macabre quill. Seeing this, she turned towards the paperwork on her desk. As her new mechanical core extended to examine it, she saw it was a request for a final report on the status of 'Project Bumfuck', the in-office name for the show that had been made from the events at the fort of that name. "This was a triumph," she whispered, bringing the spike forward to inscribe a note under 'Final Assessment' in Grey Mann's life blood.

Huge Success!

Author's Note

Now, you may be wondering why the entire second half (or more) of this chapter is in Blue text. That's because it is non-canon to this story...

...unless you want it to be.

Below, I will be posting a comment. You'll know it when you see it, it'll be the oldest comment on this chapter. If you want the blue section of this chapter to be canon to the story - and the sequel - upvote it. If not, downvote it.

When a decision regarding canon-ness becomes necessary (ie: I am writing the sequel where it becomes involved) I will check the vote status of the comment, and it will determine the end result. At that point, I'll post a blog entry announcing the result.

In the meantime, expect a blog entry regarding this story...as I'm marking it complete.

8: Operation: P.E.E.K.A.B.O.O.

When Spy took Fluttershy from Heavy to begin his day of taking care of her, he knew he wanted to make an impression. It was silly, he knew, but he wanted her to like him, to like him more than the others. He'd always had a bit of a superiority complex as compared to the others - he genuinely believed he was superior to most of them - and if he became Fluttershy's favorite, they'd have to admit it. He knew it was petty, but Fluttershy was cute enough to make him want to be petty. He admitted privately that it was silly how quickly nine cold blooded mercenaries turned into gooey, eager nursemaids just because this little lady looked at them with love and trust. Spy privately felt - and suspected that it was true for the others - that her love and trust, so freely given, became a geas upon them to prove themselves worthy of it. And he determined that he'd prove worthy first.

To start that off, he did his best to prepare her a gourmet breakfast. However, even with all his skill and consideration, there was only so much he could do with canned baby food. He thought that the delicate china, polished silverware, candlelight, and parsley garnish were a fair attempt...until she ate the garnish. Inside, he was grateful there was nothing harmful about parsley.

After cleaning her up - she hadn't waited for him to spoon-feed her, and had gotten a good amount of food all over herself, and knocked the candle off the table onto the dirt floor where it promptly extinguished - he set her back down in the high chair. He knew he wanted to engage her in some sort of activity, something they could enjoy together. So he thought about the things he did normally, to see what he could adapt to playing with a child.

Espionage...not exactly viable. It would need more participants than just himself and Fluttershy. It would also defeat the purpose of trying to become her favorite if he brought any of the others into it.

Knife play...no. The mess she made of breakfast showed plain as day she didn't have the coordination needed to hold a knife, let alone attempt any tricks with one.

Stealth...now that had possibilities. Fluttershy had already proven capable of seeing through all of his cloaking devices: he'd checked. However, she was a little small to play hide and seek with. Besides, she wasn't usually that energetic after eating.

Spy rested his face in his hand as he thought, dragging his hand down over his eyes. As his hand uncovered his eyes, he saw Fluttershy watching in interest. An idea percolated into his mind.

Walking up to Fluttershy, he bent over and covered his face with both hands. "Where's Spy?" he asked. Hearing her curious coo, he uncovered his face. "Here he is!"

Fluttershy squealed, bouncing happily as she clapped her hooves. She then covered her face with her hooves and tiny wings. "Where's Fluttershy?" Spy asked playfully, glancing around as if he'd lost sight of her. He suppressed a chuckle as he caught her peeking in his peripheral vision. When she spread her legs and wings, he swung back to her. "Here she is!" he proclaimed happily.

She squealed happily again, bouncing with pleasure. Once she calmed down, he covered his face again. "Where's Spy?"

They continued this game for some time. Spy knew it was inanely childish, but he was playing with a child, and that made it okay. Besides, her squeals of joy each time he revealed his face made it worth it. And it wasn't like any of the others didn't act just as childish with her.

"Where's Spy?" he asked once again, covering his face. There was no response. Perhaps she was getting tired. "Here he is-" Spy froze. The high chair was empty. "Where is Fluttershy?" he asked, surprised.

He quickly glanced around the kitchen, trying to catch sight of her or any trace she might have left behind. But he could find no trace. He noticed one of the cabinets hanging slightly open, quickly strode over, and pulled it open. "Fluttershy?" he asked, sticking his head in. She wasn't in there.

He repeated this action with every cabinet and pot big enough for Fluttershy to hide in, as well as checking inside the refrigerator. It quickly became apparent that Fluttershy was no longer in the kitchen. Glancing around, he focused all his instincts as a well trained spy to determine where she might have gone. He felt a strange tightness in his back. Spinning around, he proceeded along the path in that direction, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of Fluttershy.

Part way down the corridor, Spy encountered Engineer. "Yo, Frenchie," Engineer said easily. "What's the hurry?"

"Ah, laborer," Spy replied calmly. "I am simply playing a game with Fluttershy, but she's managed to get ahead of me. Did you perchance see her come this way?" He turned around glancing back the way he'd come.

When he turned back, Engineer was smirking widely. "Yeah, she came this way."

"Thank you, laborer. I will find-catch her soon enough." Turning, he quickly raced down the hallway.

As he reached the next chamber - the resupply chamber - he found Soldier there. Choosing not to interact just yet, he proceeded to glance around, behind, and under the various equipment scattered around the room. Hearing Soldier's sudden guffaw, he spun to face him. "Was there something amusing?" he asked coldly.

Soldier grinned widely. "Playing Hide and Seek?" he asked.

Spy nodded. "Yes. She must take after me, as she is exceptionally skilled."

"Well, I didn't hear her come in, and if she were running ahead of you her hooves would have made a lot of noise," Soldier pointed out. "So how about searching elsewhere out of my way?"

At first Spy was offended, until he noticed Lt. Bites clinging to the underside of a table. Nodding, he left the room, a bit confused about Lt. Bites chittering happily.

Reaching the control point, Spy encountered Heavy and Demoman. Demoman was bent over, clutching his head, while Heavy gently rubbed his back. Spy tilted his head, somewhat confused. "Is something the matter?" he asked.

"Demoman cutting back on drink," Heavy stated.

"Ah," Spy said calmly. "Withdrawal symptoms." He rested a hand on Demoman's shoulder. "Is it bad?"

"Not so bad," Demoman stammered out. "Feels like Fluttershy's crawling all over me, which is kind of nice."

At that, Heavy - who was now somewhat behind Spy - cracked up laughing. Spy spun around. "What is so funny?" he demanded. When Demoman also cracked up, falling on his back, Spy shook his head. "I don't have time for this." Turning, he left.

Passing under the watch tower, he glanced up. "Sniper!" he called up.

Sniper stuck his head out. "What can I do for you, Spy?"

"Is Fluttershy up there?"

Sniper raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"I am...playing hide and seek with her, and she is proving a skilled opponent."

Sniper chuckled. "Seems so. But she ain't up here."

Spy nodded. "Thank you anyway," he affirmed, turning to go. He idly wondered what could have caused the normally serious and taciturn Sniper to chuckle like that.

Passing by Medic's lab, he took a glance in. Medic looked up from his Medi-gun as he worked on it. "Looking for Fluttershy?" he asked.

Spy shrugged. "Yes. We're playing Hide and Seek." Despite the assurance in his voice, he was beginning to get worried. If Fluttershy wasn't in here, then she wasn't in the fortress. He turned away, checking if he might have missed anything.

Medic chuckled. "Well, she's not in here. Best check somewhere else."

Spy nodded. "I suppose." He walked towards the kitchen, passing all the locked bedrooms, knowing she couldn't have slipped past the locks.

Back in the kitchen, he found Scout relaxing at the table while Pyro was preparing lunch. He leaned against the table with a sigh. "What's bugging you, Frenchie?" Scout asked.

Spy stared up at Scout, feeling the despair overwhelm him. "I...I've lost Fluttershy!" he finally admitted, turning around to slump into a chair. "We were playing Peekaboo, but she vanished. I've searched the entire fortress for her, but I can't find a trace! She...she must have gone outside..."

"Either that, or she's better at hiding than you," Scout pointed out. Pyro was chuckling at something.

Spy nodded. "It's possible, I suppose," he admitted, trying not to cry. He leaned back to brace himself against the table...and heard a squeak.

Sitting up again, he reached a hand slowly around to his back, and encountered something soft and fluffy.

Fluttershy let go of her hiding place at the small of his back, clutching his hand. When he brought her around to his face, she threw her forelegs and wings upwards with a happy squeak.

"Were you hiding there the entire time?" he asked incredulously. She nodded. "That's...that's..."

"Yo, Spy," Scout spoke up. "Don't be too hard on her. She was just playing-"

"I'm so proud of you!" Spy crowed happily, cuddling Fluttershy. "You held perfectly still and hid flawlessly right under my nose! I can hardly wait until you're ready for actual training!"

As Fluttershy giggled happily and Pyro laughed, Scout could only shake his head.

23: A Merry Flutter Christmas, part 1 - A Night Before Fortmas

Fluttershy stared out at the blazing sun, far too hot for anyone to go outside, and sighed sadly. It was the middle of summer, and out here in the middle of the Outback, the days got boiling hot, and the nights freezing cold. It wouldn't be so bad if she were nearer to some vegetation, but there weren't any trees near the Fortress: those that had been had been cut down for the construction. And the Fortress itself wasn't very insulated, so no one was up to moving very much. She flopped down on the floor next to Chompy, who despite being five times her size still obeyed her every command. He, too, was unmoving, mouth open and tongue hanging out as air like a furnace exhaled from his mouth like a bellows.

It wasn't as bad for her Daddies, as most of them were either fully adjusted to the heat like Bang Daddy and Boom Daddy, had trained themselves to the heat like Poof Daddy and Daddy Sir, had outfits that allowed for better ventilation like Dadenji and Big Daddy, or in the case of Daddiem stayed in the cooled medical wing. Mama barely noticed the heat at all, and Big Brother somehow reveled in it, laying on the roof with a metal sheet 'tanning'. Fluttershy, however, had a coat of fur that kept the heat in which matted to her body with sweat, which made any sort of movement in this heat unbearable.

As she lay there, mouth open as she breathed deeply to get whatever cooling she could manage, Daddy Sir came up. "What's wrong, Fluttershy?" he asked in concern.

"Too hot," she gasped out. "Can't move..."

"Arf..." Chompy agreed, creaking as his jaw moved.

Daddy Sir nodded to her. "Yeah...summer's hot out here..." He glanced around, and his eyes fell on the calendar. "Pity we aren't back in 'Murica, Christmas really calls for snow."

Fluttershy had seen snow, and played in it, six months back in midwinter, when Daddy Sir had tried to set off fireworks for the Fourth of July. That had been curtailed when Fluttershy started getting ashes in her coat, and had flashbacks to when Chompy had dissolved. "Christmas?" she asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Christmas!" Daddy Sir said happily. "It's a really great holiday! Hang on!" Turning, he raced over to the bookshelf and started searching. "Here it is!" he said, coming back with a book titled 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. "This'll cheer you up!"

As he sat down beside her, she perked up. "Okay."

Smiling, he opened the book. "Twas the night before Christmas," he read, "and all through the house-"

"What's a house?" Fluttershy asked in confusion.

Daddy Sir paused, struggling to think. "Hmm..." He glanced down at the story, up at Fluttershy, then around at the fortress. "...I think I can make this work, gimme a moment." Turning to a nearby table, he started writing furiously, flipping through the book as he wrote.

Fluttershy watched in interest as her Daddy Sir worked, wondering what he would prepare for her. Finally, after several hours, he raised the piece of paper. "Finished!" he proclaimed proudly, smiling widely. He then came over to her and held up his paper as he prepared to read. Fluttershy noticed several misspellings and other mistakes, but chose not to say anything as he started to read.

"Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Fortress
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even tiny horses."

Fluttershy giggled as Soldier tickled her behind her ear on that last line. Chompy wiggled over closer to listen as well, the slowly setting sun cooling things down enough to make moving easier.

"All the stockings were hung
from the chimney with care-"

"What's a chimney?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"It's a stone column that lets smoke from a fireplace out so people can breathe," Daddy Sir replied.

"What's a fireplace?" Fluttershy asked, confused.

"A place specifically designed to have a safe fire inside."

Fluttershy nodded. That made sense. Daddy Sir continued to read.

"In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there."

While Fluttershy wondered who St. Nicholas was, she decided not to interrupt again.

"The younguns were tucked right into their beds
And dreams of fun carnage danced in their heads."

Fluttershy giggled as she imagined her last big fight. BLU team had attacked again, and Fluttershy had enjoyed herself. Her favorite tactic she developed was to fly high above one of the BLU mercs with limited ranged combat ability - the Engineer, Sniper, or Pyro for preference - swoop down without warning, swipe their melee weapon while shouting 'Yoink!', then quickly zip over to a heavy melee ally - Big Daddy or Mama for preference - and put them into her mini-overdrive while they blasted the pursuing BLU to bits. Chompy, she knew, was visualizing how she had decided to end the battle, by throwing open the main doors and shouting, "Chompy, sic!" at which point he had charged out, bullets bouncing off his armored shell, and swallowed the BLU Scout whole in mid leap. That had sent the rest running in terror. A good end to the fight.

"With Pyro in gas mask and I in my helm
Stood guard as we patrolled the halls of our realm"

Fluttershy smiled as she pictured Daddy Sir and Mama as they patrolled the Fortress, watching over her and Chompy as they slept.

"When out in the yard there arose a great noise,
So I set off the klaxon to summon my boys"

Fluttershy remembered the klaxon. It was very loud and blaring. Daddiem had been shocked she had slept through it until Chompy had nudged her awake, the one time it had gone off. It wasn't that she couldn't hear it or wasn't disturbed by it. After looking at psychology, Daddiem had been able to determine that she slept so peacefully because she felt completely safe with all of them. That had spurred a family hug. She always loved those.

"Quick to the windows we flew in a blaze
Armed to the teeth, our enemies to raze"

She couldn't help but giggle at that mental image. After all, only Mama could raze enemies, he was the only one with fire.

"As moonlight was insufficient to see
The spotlights we aimed to find what it could be

And what before our shocked eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer"

Fluttershy gasped happily. She'd heard about reindeer, and always wanted to see one. But eight? That was almost too much.

"The little old driver was so lively and quick
I heard Heavy cry, "My god, it's St. Nick!"

Fluttershy smiled. So that's who the St. Nicholas mentioned earlier was.

"As for waking the young ones, we worried who to blame,
When that little old fool started yelling out names!

"Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Donder and Blitzen;
To the top of the tower before gunfire can fall!
Now Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Fluttershy fell over as she stifled her giggles. Seems St. Nick knew her Daddies!

"How well he knew us and our itchy trigger fingers
And so before too long in our sights could he linger
So to the top of the fortress those reindeer flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too."

Fluttershy gasped. "Reindeer can fly?" she asked, shocked.

"Only St. Nick's," Daddy Sir told her. "They're special that way."

Her eyes widened in awe.

"And in just a moment I heard on the roof
Sounds I knew well from each little hoof"

Fluttershy smiled as she gently brought her hooves down on the floor, getting a smile from Daddy Sir.

"As we raced to the Control Point our position to keep
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a leap!"

Fluttershy gasped. She knew leaping into a defending control point when her Daddies were ready to fight could be fatal for St. Nick.

"He was dressed all in Red from his head to his foot,
So we knew he was ally and didn't give him the boot."

She let out a sigh of relief. She had been worried about St. Nick.

"The bundle of toys held on his back with tension
Quickly drew every eye, and all our attention"

Fluttershy giggled again at that, remembering the times she had visited the toy store. The only ones who had ever controlled themselves in there had been Bang Daddy and Poof Daddy...and even Bang Daddy had fallen prey to the siren call of the magical ball pit. She stilled her giggles as Daddy Sir continued to read.

"He looked oh so happy as he began his task
Accepting Demo's offer of a draught from his flask"

Fluttershy gasped. "Boom Daddy offered someone else some of his booze?" she asked in shock.

Daddy Sir grinned. "That's just how special and important St. Nick is. He's the only one outside the team Demoman will share his scrumpy with."

Fluttershy giggled. "Even if Boom Daddy's the only one of us who can drink it."

Daddy Sir let out a laugh before continuing to read.

"He filled up the stockings with wonderful toys
For our good little girl, and us good big boys

And laying his finger beside his nose
He gave a nod and up the chimney he rose"

Fluttershy gasped again. "St. Nick can fly, too?"

Daddy Sir laughed. "He's Santa Claus! He can do anything!"

"Santa Claus?"

"Another name he goes by," he pointed out.

She let out a gasp. "Oh! That big man the size of Big Daddy who had kids sitting on his knee at the toy store last week?"

"Exactly!" Daddy Sir confirmed, before returning to the story.

"We bid him farewell, and Scout called "Come back soon!"
Though we doubt he heard us, silhouetted 'gainst the moon.

But we heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together as the story ended...and she wasn't the only one applauding. The entire family had gathered as Daddy Sir had read, much to their surprise, and they were all applauding.

"Quite good," Poof Daddy said as he clapped slowly but appreciatively, causing Daddy Sir to rub the back of his head in embarrassment.

Fluttershy smiled widely, but then frowned. "But...that still didn't tell me what Christmas is..."

"Oh that's easy," Big Brother piped up. "Christmas is when you gather around the Christmas Tree with your family and exchange heartfelt gifts and are overall happy and content with each other. It's a special time of togetherness." Seeing the others stare at him, he huffed. "What? I'm allowed my sappy side, same as all of you!"

Fluttershy's smile was huge. "Oh, I can't wait to celebrate Christmas this year!" she cried, bouncing happily.

With that declaration of Fluttershy's, the mercs all looked at each other and nodded. They weren't going to disappoint their special little lady. They were going to make her first Christmas one to never forget.

Operation: Fluffy Christmas was a go.

Author's Note

Rewriting "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to "Twas the Night Before Fortmas" was both an easier and a harder job than I expected. But yeah, that was all me.