The beginnings of an empire
Rupecht Schmitt, or as his friends (drinking buddies) called him Rupert, had always considered himself a hard worker but as he lay in bed he had the oddest feeling that he should avoid work today. An odd feeling indeed, considering he loved his job at the Der Rise facility. Made even odder still by the fact that such a treasonous act could get him killed in Nazi Germany but Rupert, ever the hard worker, got out of bed and prepared for work; Completely disregarding his body’s unusual warning.
As he showed his pass to Hans the guard, and entered the facility, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go very wrong today. Three hours later, Rupert was working on his latest project, Die Glocke (the bell), which was an experimental anti-gravitational device. It was the brain-child of several scientists all of whom had died of intense radiation burns upon first activating it. And yet here he was, crouched next to the device manually repairing it as best he can. Then, something inside Die Glocke clicked. The device started whirring and making a sinful screeching noise which only increased in amplitude by the second. And so, the unearthly device started glowing a deep red color that seemed to be so intense that it shone in every corner of the heavily insulated concrete room. Then, everything went white as Rupert lost consciousness.
“Vell, zis is not vat I had in mind vhen I signed up.” Rupert groaned as he surveyed his surroundings. As far as he could tell, he appeared to be in the middle of a cracked desert that appeared to span indefinitely in all directions. “Vunderbar. I give so many vreched years of my life avay to zat horrid excuse of a machine und zis is vat I get. Nein, zis is unacceptable. I bet it vas those schweinhunds from ze department of zose Hillersleben. Und zey did zis just because I laughed at zeir foolishness.” As Rupert continued to moan about his colleagues he failed to notice the large black and green insect-pony hybrid sneaking up on him. And then Rupert was knocked into unconsciousness for the second time that day.
When Rupert regained his senses, he was in a cell carved out of solid stone which was only visible because of some dimly lit torches that adorned his cell’s wall. But what really surprised the Nazi was what was outside of his cell. Staring at him with both a look of annoyance and curiosity was a pony-insect hybrid. She had a crooked horn and dragonfly-like wings. She had a murky blue mane and was wearing a small crown upon her head. He placed his head in his hands and spoke in his native tounge, “So haben sie nicht nur mich verlassen, um in den Händen jener russische Hunde sterben, sondern auch mich unter Drogen gesetzt. wenn ich jemals meine Hände auf sie sie werden wollen...( So, they have not only left me to die at the hands of those Russian dogs, but have also drugged me! If I ever get my hands on them, they shall wish I had never lost my medical license!)((he is joking to himself here)) His sudden proclamation seemed to startle the vat vere zey called again?....Ah yes, Mares! Zee mare insectoid vas startled by my outburst. Vell, if she is un hallucination due to zee glorious third reich medication zen vhy not humor zis, und so after clearing his throat he decided to see just how smart his addled mind was.
“Vat is zee meaning of life?” Her eyes widened. “Nein frauline, I shall answer zis for you. Leben has no meaning except for zhose meanings zat you make for yourself. For example I find joy…No… Pleasure in ze pain of others. So vat bitte schön(Pray tell), frauline, vhat do you live for?” But the mare insectoid did not reply. Slowly she got closer to the cell’s doors until her face nearly touched it, And said ”Just who or what manner of beast are you?”
“My name is Rupecht Schmitt, but seeing as how you only seem to understand English, call me Rupert.” He paused, “And if it turns out zat you und I do not get along vell, zen it is a name zat I vill make you scream as I slowly choke zhe life from your body, vilst I simultaneously please you in ways no male has ever done before. An experience of both pleasure und pain zat you vill crave until even zee slightest touch of my body to yours vill make you moan. Und zen I vill slit your throat prolonging your death for as long as I can und causing as much pain as possible.” He smiled a grin that spoke of the whole-heartedness of his words as it seemed to whisper that the act he had described was the quick and painless death.
The mare gulped as she only now sensed the magnitude of the soul she was dealing with here. For the first time in her life she could only sense malice and hatred towards others and there wasn’t even a hint of love. He suddenly grinned very manically, “Vell frauline just vat und who are you zen?” And for the first time in a long while she felt true fear of another creature, not because he would kill her but because she feared in this unique case that death was not something to fear, but something to pray for. She slightly croaked out “I am Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings” But before she could utter another word he interjected, ”Vell vere are your subjects, your Highness?” And for some reason she answered him truthfully. “We recently failed in an attack on the ponies.” Yet again he interrupted her before she could say more. “Vat are your numbers?” And again, she answered him truthfully, “We are down to no more than twenty Changelings, and without both a mate or enough love to feed my children we will go extinct.” A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she honestly did not know what to do now. “Nein… “ “What?”, she asked for he had spoken so softly that she hadn’t heard him. “Zis is unnaceptabule!” He roared. “What?” She said taken aback by his flood of emotion. “Zee master race must not be a herbivore species!” This confused Chrysalis, as she was not sure why he was so emotional or suddenly yelling. “Zere is only one solution for zis! If I am to be stuck here zen I vill ensure zat the master race is strong even if it is no longer my own race!” And with that he broke the bars of his prison cell, grabbed Chrysalis like she was a stuffed doll, and took her with him. In mere moments, he was out of the cold caves and into the light. All the while carrying a shocked Chrysalis under his arm like she was a keg of beer. He muttered under his breath “zee gravity of zis place is far veaker zen earth.” He soon made his way out of the cave with a speed that hinted at his apparent hidden strength.
Chrysalis vas it? I assume Zat since you are an insect you control your changelings directly. Either using mind control or some sort of hive mind connection? Am I correct? Chrysalis quickly blinked “why yes that is how I command them.” Bitte fauline do not test my patience, which one is it? Chrysalis slightly frightened by his tone replied “well Rupert it is both as I am able to instruct and directly control any changeling under my command. Why did you ask?” He sat her down and stood up straight “Because frauline I vill need to inspect zee troops if I vant to lead zem into battle! Und even zen I vill be zee aggressor in zee coming plan zat I have. Vell vere are zey?” Then the sound of wings not unlike the sound a swarm of bees makes could be heard. This was soon followed by twenty changelings flying out of the cave and landing in a four by five formation.
Vunderbar! Rupert exclaimed. Now you changelings vill tell me vat I vant to kno. Und zen I vill lead you into battle. Vee vill take the nearest town for our own und take the first steps tovards an empire zat vill last forever! His voice rose as he almost began yelling now. Vee vill make these pitifull ponies cower beneath our might! Vee will show the vole vorld zat only zee strong are ment to survive and the veak vill suffer und die! Vee vill make the very earth beneath our feet bend to our vill. Vee vill blot out zee sun vith not only zee number of troops zat vee vill possess but vith machines of iron und fire! Und our enemies vill be vaporized in an instant, and not even zeir gods vill be able to save zem. At the end of his speech he extended his right arm in the air in a seig heil which the changeling drones (emboldened and enraptured by his speech) quickly mirrored.
Rupert turned to chrysalis and said” I trust zat you vill vant your revenge on zose who defeated you? Und I promise zat no-one,Nein! Notzing from either mein vorld or yourz vill ever harm you again. Take mein hand frauline und I vill craft your species into zee greatest lifeforms zat creation has ever seen or will ever see again. Chrysalis tears streaming from her eyes with an expression of confusion and disbelief asked “why would you help us?” Zat is because zee only law or moral in my life zat I have ever had . is zat zee strong vill live und zee veak vill die und your species tenacity has impressed me. Und I vill help you because you are special chrysalis.
He had her complete attention now she didn’t move a single muscle in her body and even her heart stopped at this. He continued “your soul has impressed me. You hav had zee vill to stand before an alien being who is capable of so horrifying acts of cruelty und malice against others zat zey are unspeakabule in any language. Und yet you did not show me even a sliver of zee fear zat you felt merely standing in my presence. It is zis refusal of your very mind to submit to your insect instincts zat has both intrigued me und earned my respect. Chrysalis” he now softly said,” vill you accept my offer to not only aid you in your revenge on zose who had vronged you. Not as a superior or as an underling but as zee one und only being zat I hav ever even slightly considered as mein equal. Und in my thirty four years of exzistance you are zee first und only female zat I have ever asked or vill ever ask…zee question….He bent down on one knee, his tall 193.o4cm stature reduced to eye level with the changeling queen. Chrysalis, Rupert softly started, vile I vill completely admit zat I have never felt love of any kind for any sentient being before, I am convinced zat if zere ever existed any being zat I could even learn to love over time zat it vould be you chrysalis. Und so I ask zee very question zat I never touzght I vould ever ask any female, Chrysalis vill you marry me?
With tears of joy Chrysalis pounced Rupert, grasping him in the best hug she could manage due to their differing body structures. Yes she sobbed inbetween tears of joy. Rupert softly caressed her mane and back of her neck. Frauline vhy do you sthain your face vith zese tears? In between sobs she replied “you’re the only one who has ever cared! Not only do you actually seem to not want us extinct, but you are unbothered by our parasitic nature. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you actually care for me. As long as I can remember being the changeling queen there has never been anyone who has actually cared! I had gone through life for so long thinking that the only possible emotion that others could feel for a changeling was hatred or disgust.
Nine hundred and nine years ago we changelings were experiencing massive starvation, so I went to equestria for help. But not even celestia the ponies monarch/deity renowned for compassion and motherly love would help us. We were starving for so long that we lost billions of changelings. Both to the starvation and to our enemies like the dimond dogs or gryphons who slaughtered us in our weakened state. And the worst part was that I could feel every individual changeling’s death. She took her head off of his shoulder the amount of pain that she had just relived there would be evident even to the blind. And it took a highly dangerous alien no less to show me that I was wrong.
Rupert lightly grasped her chin. Chrysalis I promise you zat zere iz notzing zat can or vill sthop me from helping you. For just like a coal placed under intense pressure over thousands of years turns into a diamond the absolute majesty of your spirit and vill hav shown me zee most beautiful dimond in all of creation. Rupert then leaned in and kissed chrysalis full on the lips. Her facial expressions went from mild shock to pure uncontested bliss. Even Rupert the emotionless killing machine of a man that he was felt a new emotion towards this female, an emotion that pleased him even more so than when he made zhem schream. Zheir terror vas vunderbah und yet zis female brought him pleasure vith just a mere smile. Vell zis anomaly vould need further experimentation. Und vho better zhan I to find und catolouge zish emotion. Und vhile I may or may not be a heartless monster perhaps I vill fall in love vith anothzher monster. And so with these thoughts Rupert decided to give chrysalis a chance. The two’s kiss would have lasted longer if not for one small interruption. A scream of terror so high-pitched even Rupert’s ears were harmed.
Author's Note
this fan fiction is not for everyone I know that. I will not be insulted in the slightest that you do not like this. However that will not stop me nor will anything stop me from writing this fan fiction. Some of the spelling errors also known as Rupert's speech are intentional, if this annoys you I am sorry but this is how I write Rupert, and because of this there is no correct spelling version of this tale. The next chapter will earn this fan fiction it's Gore tag many times over, if this upsets you I completely understand, as this is not for everyone. This fan fiction is my main work on this site as such I have literally planned out extremely minute details, the basic physics of this planet, a detailed map with invasion notes, and specific plot points as far into the future as the end of this fan fiction. Because of this this fan fiction is extremely hard to write, and so it may take me a while to post a new chapter, but I will make an attempt to post a new chapter every week, by Thursday of each week. Thank you for reading my fan fiction I hope that you come back. I understand if you don't.I look forward to your reactions and responses.
disclaimer: this fan fiction does not highlight any political views or endorse any form of torture, rape, murder, or genocide.
This fan fiction does however endorse the right of free speech, and the idea that Nazis may have been evil but damn they had some cool looking weapons.
Rupert chrysalis and the twenty changelings all whipped their heads towards the sound and to our lovers surprise the screams belonged to a pony couple in their twenties. The earth pony couple appeared to be meeting in secret (most likely some kind of Romeo Juliet thing here) and so had stumbled upon the gang by accident. Now while Rupert was in denial of him being in love he certainly knew that there had been a moment between chrysalis and him, a moment that had just been spoiled by these filthy ponies.
SILENCE FILTH! The two complied immediately trembling at this alien’s rage. Well they would soon learn wouldn’t they, Rupert mused; they would learn exactly just how he dealt with such filth.
Vhell now isn’t zish perfect, darling he said to chrysalis, vee are going to hav to hurry vith our plans if zhey are going to succeed.
He then faster than any one present could see ran up to the couple and grabbed them both by their necks. He then calmly walked over to his now fiancé toting his petrified by shock prey with him.
Darling, he practically purred, hav zhee changelings here each grab a limb und hold zhem steady.
The changelings complied holding the couple in an almost classic bound manner.
Now darling come here Rupert beckoned her to his side.
She wore a slightly confused but happy grin not quite sure where her fiancé was going with this but trusting him none the less. Rupert then pulled from his trench coat a leather bound case from which he removed two scalpels handing one to chrysalis
he said “ now vee vill accomplish two very important tasks vith zis activity. Our changelings vill be able to feed off of zee love I vill create by causing zhese pathetic ponies pain.”
At this admittance the couple started begging for mercy all while thrashing about wildly in the iron grips of the changelings. But this interruption only seemed to infuriate Rupert who pulling out his kit again removed a needle and thread.
“One second here darling these filthy patients seem to think zhat zhey have zhe right to speak”
he then violently grabbed the stallion by the muzzle and with surgical precision sowed the stallions lips shut in mere moments with surgical percision. He then repeated the action with the mare and soon the loudest sound the two could make was a whimper or muffled moan. All the while Rupert was grinning like a kid allowance in hand in a candy store. All the changelings including chrysalis softly fed off of Rupert’s love for the pain of others. unbeknownst to any of them this feeding of Rupert’s love for causing pain also changed them, giving them the same sadistic pleasure from the pain of others and causing them to gain the same grin as Rupert, made worse by their fangs.
Zhere vee are zee vill be much less annoying now. Now chrysalis take zee scalpel as I do (he was aware of her magic) und make an incision lightly just above zee collar bone und stopping just above zee stomach.
At this point the couple watched on horrified as each were opened up by our two villans.
Now, Rupert began, vee must cause maximum pain vithout letting zee subject die. To do zish vee need to target zee groups of muscle und nerves first before vee cut zee organs.
He instructed her how to remove the muscle and cut the vocal chords leaving the windpipe intact. They then removed the intestines of the couple and then the nonessential vital organs like the stomach, appendix, and liver. At this point Rupert had injected the couple with adrenaline multiple times to keep them from passing out.
Und now, Rupert maniacally laughed, vee begin zheir true torture he punctured the lungs and retrieved a chrome flask from his hip. He then poured water in their lungs whilst laughing,
“I hav heard one of zee most painful vays to die is drowning” he said to the couple “vell you two are lucky you get to be tortured and drown zis is two deaths for zee price of one.”
He then poured a full gallon of water into their damaged lungs, the holes in them preventing a fast death from drowning. He repeated the process many times each time backing off only enough so that the victims would not asphyxiate. After choking for a full hour thanks to Rupert’s medical skills the two finally passed on. The whole event had gone on till long after the sun had set and Rupert finished it by showing areas where a quick stealthy few incisions could cause a quiet stealthy death. All the while the changelings and chrysalis fed off of the immense stores of love that Rupert was giving off.
They spent the remainder of the night planning the attack on the closest town, tin city. Tin city confidently only had twenty two residents as it was a small miners town with only two guards ponies. And so Rupert revealed his plan to his new fiancé .who he was quite proud of as she had not only followed his instructions to the letter but had even seemed to enjoy it. This made chrysalis even more flawless in his evil gaze. She sat snugly next to him by the fire he had built and watched him in rapt fascination as he rotated parts of the pony couple on a split over the fire.
After all as he had said “vaist not vant not” chrysalis and Rupert stayed up together thought the night. They spoke of their pasts, their plans for the future , and basically just anything they could think of(small talk if you will). As they spoke it became apparent that they truly seemed meant for each other. And as the night reached its midpoint they soon feel asleep, cuddled together by the fire with a few changelings guarding them and the rest sleeping around the couple.
The next morning Rupert was the first to wake. When he woke he was at first slightly startled to not be back in Germany in his bed with his hand crafted alarm clock rattling him out of his deep slumber. The first thing his weary mind took into account of his surroundings was the insectoid equine gently hugging him in the midst of her own slumber. The fire had gone out the night before and so Rupert was thankful that all the other changelings had decided to fall asleep surrounding Rupert and chrysalis.
Looking back down at his now fiancé Rupert had a nagging feeling that something was wrong, not just the fact that he was in this new world that something so intrinsic to his very nature that it bothered him to the core. This thought was quickly washed away the moment chrysalis's eyes opened. Those green orbs lulled his usually paranoid mind into a complacent state. Rupert gently scratched the back of her, an action she quite evidently enjoyed. Chrysalis my darling
Rupert softly said ve have much vork to do, wake zhe changelings so that I may explain everyone’s part in this morning's activity. At this he softly smiled, by zhe end of today vhe vill be in complete control of tin city. After Rupert explained the plan in detail to the awakened changelings the group set off for tin city, leaving behind them the burning remains of the pony couple that had stumbled upon their group is the only marker that anyone had even been there.
As they trekked through the desert chrysalis and Rupert at the head of the group they pose an intimidating sight. Rupert in his long black overcoat stopping just at his knees and signature arched cap, skull and eagle emblem included. Flanked by chrysalis who unlike last night now stood about 5 foot to his six-foot four stature, and behind them followed the changelings all of them looking far less emaciated and in some cases even muscular, together they made quite the imposing sight. It took the group about an hour to reach the town of tin city, Rupert motioned for them to group together at its outskirts just out of sight of the inhabitants.
“Chrysalis”
Rupert began once they were grouped behind a small hill just large enough to hide them all.
Vait for my signal und zhen vhen you see it have zhe changelings surround zhe town und let no one get out.
What signal? She said. Trust me, he said and winked, you cannot possibly Miss zhis.
He then strode off to the town.
Now tin city was not a very well named town as one might guess. It has originated as a mining town back during a minor gold rush. As it stood now the majority of its inhabitants the 22 that had remained lived in the very center of a far larger than necessary town. The abandoned buildings gave the town a very Wild West ghost town feeling, complete with boarded-up windows, abandoned saloons, and even the burned remnants of a home or two.
As Rupert strode through the town he was reminded of those very early movies that had been shown back in his hometown Dresden during his childhood. And now here he was year’s later practically copying one of the various scenes from his childhood where the outlaw meets the brave cowboy in the middle of town. And just like in his childhood he was the bad guy, only unlike the games he had played the neighbor kids as a child, this time it would be the bad guy getting the pretty girl and riding off into the sunset.
Although in this case it was a more metaphorical comparison than realistic. Not to mention the townsfolk were ponies, making the analogy is a more awkward and weird. All these thoughts coalesced in Rupert's mind and formed an icy grin upon his face. By now Rupert had made it to the center of town, and the townsfolk had begun to peak out of their homes at the strange new creature that had arrived in town. Out of the town jail trotted to uniformed ponies both in guards Armor, with the elder one having the classic handlebar mustache grayed by age, with Stetson and star shaped sheriff’s badge cementing him as the stereotypical wild West Sheriff.
At this point Rupert was heavily fighting back the urge to burst into joyous laughter at the utterly hilarious sight in front of him. The Sheriff pony spoke up, greetings stranger welcome to tin city we hope your visit here is a peaceful one but I can tell from the look in your eyes that peace isn't much your style, and so I would like you to leave tin city as we don't like your kind round here.
The Sheriff's proclamation was the final straw for Rupert, he burst into laughter and the previously stoic Sheriff and Deputy's expressions changed to one of confusion and then irritation.
Oh zhish is far too much sthop zhis now you both are killing me, ahahahahahahaha haaaa
When he finally composed himself the two guards were absolutely livid with Rupert. A fact clearly evident by their blood red faces which had previously been light brown like their coats.
Dankashine gentlemen zhat vas most rude of me und for zhish I apologize but you two are very amusing to me.
Your dern right its rude said the deputy guard hav some respect for the sherrif , he single handedly caught ten changelings the other day.
This statement caused Rupert to raise an eyebrow.
10 changelings you say? Rupert asked zhat is indeed a most impressive feat for a small town sheriff who has probably never had to deal vith anyzhing bigger zhan petty theft.
At this the Sheriff and Deputy were seething with rage, but Rupert continued not giving them the moment to interject.
Vhell since you hav amused me so I vill give you a challenge, you two vill fight me in front of zhe full town right here as soon as they can be gazthered here to watch. You two can use any weapons zhat you vish und if you vin I vill leave zish town as you vish, but if you lose you vill relinquish your posts und be humiliated in front of zhe whole town.
Deal you wretched varmint! Exclaimed the deputy enraged by Rupert’s words.
Rupert merely smiled an icy glare that made the two guards contemplate the intelligence of accepting this challenge. It only took about 10 minutes for the two guards to gather up the other 20 inhabitants of the town, who all looked on with trepidation when the 3 Combatants Took Ctr. stage in the center of town. The two guards had on their full armor as opposed to the lone chest plate they had adorned previously. Rupert merely stood 30 feet away stock still his hands embedded into his coat pockets with that same icy grin featured across his face.
Vhell? Asked Rupert, are you two dummkopf’s ready for humiliation?
The young deputy snorted clearly angered he yelled the only one being humiliated today is gonna be you freak!
Rupert merely laughed, vhell zhen let us begin zhen.
At this exclamation the two guards yelled a battle cry and charged towards Rupert, still standing unaffected with his hands deep in his pocket's. He waited until they were both about 10 feet away before acting. In one swift motion he pulled his Lugar from his jacket pocket and fired eight well aimed shots each into one of the guards legs. Regards swiftly fell down unable to stand the pain or support any weight on there now broken legs.
Back at the small hill chrysalis and the changelings heard the gunshots and now knew exactly what Rupert had meant by the signal being unmissable. And just like they had planned they moved into town and silently surrounded all the towns ponies. They stayed unnoticed as the whole town was transfixed by the brutal scene unfolding in front of them.
After effectively incapacitating the two guards Rupert slowly strolled up to the Sheriff with that same icy grin. He grabbed the Sheriff's spear broke it in half with ease and leaned in close to the Sheriff.
He stopped just next to his ear and whispered you vher right abought my true nature, ist such a shame zhat zhe intelligence zhat you showed vas so quickly vasted after discerning my nature.
Rupert then leaned back and said much more loudly I vas lying about vhat vill happen vhen you lose.
He then shoved the sharp broken end of the spear into the Sheriff's rear legs violently, causing the Sheriff to screech out in intense pain. Just before the scream ended Rupert bashed the muzzle of the Sheriff so hard you could hear his jaw and teeth break. Rupert then shoved the other end of the Spear into the Sheriff's front legs causing the Sheriff to attempt to screech in pain but only succeed in making a gurgling noise followed by more pain.
Rupert turned towards the deputy who was now cowering in fear, his eyes wide and constantly pleading for mercy. Rupert grabbed his spear and managed to somehow shelve the blunt end 2 feet deep into the ground he then grabbed the incapacitated guard and in one motion impaled him upon the now makeshift spike in the ground. He used enough force that the terribly made spear went through the thin gold armor covering the stallions rear. While being impaled the deputy screech a high-pitched wail.
This irritated Rupert, and so he removed his father’s trench knife from ww1 from his belt under his coat. It was a 5 inch blade with a serrated edge and a built in brass knuckle at the hilt. Rupert used the brass knuckle to round house punch the deputy breaking his jaw on his right side. He then stabbed the jaw on the left side, twisted the blade and pulled down removing the stallions jaw in one slice.
When Rupert had first stabbed the sheriff with his own spear many in the crowd had vomited, by the time he had impaled the deputy a few mares had fainted, and by the time he removed the deputies jaw any screaming from the towns ponies had stopped as they stood in utter shock of the horrors occurring in from of them.
Rupert then said in a loud joyous voice, vhat I had in store for you two vas far vorse zhan humiliation. Ah ah ah ahhhh! He maniacally laughed. He then in one clean downward stroke sliced open the deputy’s stomach releasing his entrails from their fleshy bonds.
The changelings by now along with chrysalis had surrounded the town's ponies completely. And were now feeding off of Rupert again and again just like last time they started laughing along with Rupert at the pain he was causing.
It took an hour for the Sheriff to die, but it only took 10 min. for the deputy to bleed out. Rupert instructed chrysalis to order the changelings to round up the towns ponies and corral them in the jail. He then high off of adrenaline and the thrill of the kill grabbed chrysalis and pulled her into a deep kiss supporting her as he brought her near the ground almost on her back.
The town was theirs, and this action marked the beginning of the end for equestria, and yet even though this was such a pivotal point in history no one would hear of this event until at least 50 years later, when Rupert decided to publish a journal detailing his arrival in equestria.
Author's Note
so how did you like the second chapter? I hope it was better than the first. The majority of the comments I got on this both on-site and off-site said it was a bit too quick paced, and while that was sort of what I was aiming for I tried to slow down this chapter. How'd i do? would you think I could change?I'm slightly put off by the dislike bar on this story so far, although just because this chapter has better characterization and pace, probably won't change anything. After all it is a torture scene, and a pretty gory battle. Either way though I want your honest opinions, and tell me if you think I'm getting better. As always thank you for reading and I hope you return though I understand if you don't.
Next, I'm looking for changeling OC's because after all no army is made of only generals, we need fresh troops. Please private message me with your OCs back story, description (maintain the standard changeling look for now later this may change) character, and a brief note from you on how fine you are with them dying.
Finally, i have a voting "bit" for my readers, shall I have Rupert prepare the town properly before going on to the next one, or shall we ready for the next invasion immediately. At the end of your comment choose one of the other with either option a or option B in parentheses.
Thank you and have a great day.
