Zapp Brannigan: The Superior Human

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Sex, Science Fiction, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 987

Zapp Brannigan convinces Princess Twilight Sparkle that humans are superior through the power of his mighty Zapper.

Zapp Brannigan convinces Princess Twilight Sparkle that humans are superior through the power of his mighty Zapper.

Warning: human and pony sex and general silliness. Should not be taken seriously.

Published 2014-05-30 12:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-30 12:40:04 UTC

Humanity Fuck Yeah

The God Emperor of Mankind Zapp Brannigan dressed in a black velour rope was sat on his golden throne. His mighty penis, known as the 'Zapper' stood tall and proud, that was far bigger than an inferior pony penis.

His penis twitched, telling him that heresy was afoot in another universe.

"What is this heresy?!" he shouted when he saw Princess Twilight Sparkle in another universe writing into a book 'Ponies are better than humans at sex'.

"Thus Pony thinks they are superior to humans at sex?! My mighty Zapper shall prove her wrong."

With that Emperor Zapp Brannigan used the power of his mighty magical penis to teleport himself across time and space.

***

The sexy Pony Princess known as Twilight Sparkle was lying on a bed looking sad and dissatisfied. It was no wonder, she just had sex with Justin Bieber. In her anger in just how bad the sex, she sent the pansy back to whence he came. She never even came once during the sex. Commander Shepard was good at sex, but not as good as Big MacIntosh. Even Vlad The Impaler wasn't as good at sex then Big Macintosh.

"Oh, will I ever find a human the to pound my pony pussy harder than Big Macintosh's mighty penis?!

There was a loud bang as Emperor Zapp Branigan slammed his mighty Zapper against her bedroom door using it as a battering ram.

"Huh?" she said in bewilderment.

With another powerful thrust of his mighty penis the door was blown off its hinges, followed it by being sent flying across the room to smash a window.

"Wow your penis is so mighty! Are you the human I've been looking for?! she shouted as she flapped her wings excitedly.

"Yes! I shall pound your pony pussy beyond recognition with my mighty Zapper, if you don't place a magic force field inside your pony pussy to protect it!"

"Oh my yes! You are the one!"

Zapp Brannigan came closer with his mighty Zapper, that demanded the attention of the sexy alicorn.

Twilight opened her mouth wide to allowed Zapp to stuff his mighty Zapper into her muzzle. The human pounded her mouth with his massive terrifying penis, he drove it down her throat. Twilight moaned in pure bliss, never had she gave a blowjob to such a mighty gigantic penis.

To make thing even better. The God Emperor of Lobster Men known as Emperor Zoidberg walk in clicking his claws excitedly with his super massive penis at the ready. However, his penis was not as mighty as The God Emperor of Mankind Zapp Brannigan's mighty penis.

"Whoop whoop whoop! Zoidberg is here to make this a glorious threesome!" he shouted.

Twilight squealed in delight over her mouth full of human cock. Zoidberg climbed onto the bed and stuffed his mighty penis up Twilight's butthole.

Zoidberg pounded the pony up the butthole with his mighty penis.

And to make thing even more better another God Emperor of Lobster Men known as Emperor Zoidberg walk in clicking his claws excitedly....

And...

...

...

There was strange sound of a book being slammed closed.

***

Princess Twilight Sparkle with her mane on fire and eyes bright red trotted down the stairs to see Discord with a nasty grin on his face as he lay on a couch.

"So, Twilight did you enjoy--- the book thrown by her hit him in the face."Ow!"

"What in tartarus was that book? I asked you to give me a book to read about the history of humanity in another universe? And you give me that horrible abomination as a book? I couldn't even finish it!

"What? That book I gave you was such an amazing insight on human culture it brought tears to my eyes."

"It was poorly written garbage with utterly pointless sex between myself, a human and two lobster men!"

"That was my favorite part, the romance brought tears to my eyes."

"You know what, I'm going to finish this book! I can't in good conscious leave a book unread."

Twilight Sparkle levitated the book to carry as she walked back up stairs to read the book.

***

"Whoop whoop whoop! Zoidberg is here to make this a glorious foursome!" he shouted.

The newly arrived lobster man climbed onto the bed, went underneath Twilight and fucked her up the pony pussy with his massive mighty penis.

Zapp Brannigan and the Zoidberg that wasfucking Twilight up the butthole had swapped places. Zapp's mighty Zapper pounded the Pony Princess up the butthole like a true gentleman, while Zoidberg thrust his penis deeply down her throat.

"Whoop whoop whoop!" Zoidberg shouted as he came into her mouth. His semen tasted of delicious garbage, tartar sauce and rotting fish.

Twilight moaned in pure ecstasy as she swallowed Zoidberg's delicious cum.

It was the greatest foursome ever! However, the evil Justin Biebers marched toward Ponyville singing that horrible Baby song of his.

Twilight made a muffled sound around her mouthful of Zoidberg cock. Zoidberg pulled his cock back, so she could speak.

Twilight gasped for air."Zapp Brannigan, you must stop the evil Justin Biebers from destroying Equestria!"

"Can't you ask a little more sexfully?"

"Oh big Z, can you save Equestria from the evil Justin Biebers!" she said sensually while looking at him with bedroom eyes.

"That's better! My sexy horse!"

The God Emperor of Mankind Zapp Brannigan used his mighty Zapper to banish all the evil Justin Biebers to the worst possible place in the multiverse.

With the evil Justin Biebers gone Zapp Brannigan and two Zoidbergs stuffed their mighty penises back into the sexy pony.

End

....

...

...

***

Twilight blasted fire out from her horn to burn the book to ashes.

Twilight trotted down the stairs to see Discord was gone.

"When I find you, I'll kill you Discord!" she screamed in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The End