Heart of the Apple

Healing was excruciatingly slow. Confined to the bed as I was, I had little to do other than stare at the ceiling and try to remember. That task, in and of itself, was frustrating enough. There was information that I knew I had, but I had no access to it.

So just laying and staring while my body slowly healed was what I ended up doing.

Yantzen kept busy, always bustling about, tending to one thing or another. My needs required a great deal of his attentions. I couldn't do much for myself except alert him when I needed something. Three times a day, my wounds were inspected and my bandages changed. As each day passed, the swelling went down and my skin returned to its natural color.

After weeks of healing, Yantzen decided that it was time to remove the splints from my legs. With great care, he unwrapped my right foreleg and pulled the wooden splints away. The muscle had degenerated enough that the knobs of bone were obvious.

He took my right foreleg and manipulated it. I let out a groan as muscles that hadn't been moved in many days began to flex and relax. He repeated the process with with my other three legs, studying the movement with intent and watching for any weakness in the bones and joints. Satisfied that everything was strong enough to move without injury, he stood back.

“It looks good,” he reported before clicking his beak, deep in thought. “Do you need anything?”

I licked my lips. “Ah could use some water.”

He nodded and disappeared, returning with a jug and small wooden cup. Taking the two to a nearby window sill, he set them down and began to fill the cup. Glancing out the window, he straightened with a gasp, giving an excited chirp and fleeing out the door. It wasn't unusual for him to do this when he spotted something interesting, but there was one problem.

The bird-brain had left the cup, and the water, on the window sill and out of my reach.

The more I stared at the cup, the more I wanted the water. I had just gotten the splints off of my legs and couldn't very well hop out of bed and trot over to it. Besides, the pain would be unbearable.

So I resolved to ignore my growing thirst and try to rest while I waited for Yantzen to return. It was very warm that day and, even without the quilts and sheets, I was very hot. I began to pant as sweat ran through my coat. Somewhere in the distance, a bird began to sing a very irritating song. I found myself growling curses at the offending creature and at Yantzen and at the world in general.

Even though he was easily distracted on occasion, he always remembered that I depended on him for everything and returned within a few minutes of leaving to see to my needs. However, time continued to drag on and he did not return. For a moment, I wished that he would remember me and come back to find me dried up like a raisin, uttering my misery through cracked and bleeding lips. That would certainly show him.

I lay there, sweating and panting, and he did not return. Rolling back over in the bed, I glared at the cup and jug as if they would float to me through sheer force of will.

I couldn't very well walk to them, even though it would only be a few short steps. I wasn't fully healed and the pain would be more than I could handle.

But I really wanted that water.

I braced myself for the pain that would come and rotated my body. Extending my forelegs, I carefully allowed my weight to settle onto them, hissing in expectation of the pain. This was it. My legs would collapse, I would tumble to the floor, and that's where Bird-brain would find me.

But my muscles held, straining against the weight, but holding. My legs trembled slightly as I took one step, then another, then another, dragging my hind legs clear of the bed. Setting all four hooves on the rough wooden floor, I expected that the bones in my legs would snap like dry twigs and I would collapse in agony, never able to walk again.

That didn't happen. Instead, I groaned as stiff muscles moved for the first time in weeks. There was pain, but nothing that I couldn't bear.

With slow, tiny steps, I inched my way to the window sill and the water it held. Joints creaked as they flexed, and became slightly swollen from even this bit of use. With a drawn-out grunt of exertion, I levered myself onto my hind legs and brought my fore hooves onto the window sill, seizing the cup and gulping its contents. I had gone through three more before pausing for a breath. My eyes were drawn to the vista beyond the window and it was breathtaking.

The cabin was surrounded with tall, stately pines that swayed in the gentle summer breeze which caressed my coat through the open window. Just past the trees was a broad river that sparkled like a sea of gems in the sunlight. A green meadow, stretching as far as I could see, occupied the space beyond the river, flowing like its watery counterpart with the breeze.

And just on the other side of the window was Yantzen. He sat comfortably, waiting for me. The bird-brain had been there the entire time, listening to my misery and getting his jollies from it.

“Hello,” he said. “Nice to see you up and about.”

I let out a low growl, knowing he had been there.

“You realize your mistake?” He asked. “Eventually, I would have come back in, figuring you were still too weak to get up and move on your own. Unfortunately, you beat me to the punch. It's nice to see that you can move on your own again. I do not have to bring your meals to you. You can join me at the table.”

In a fit, I flung the cup at him. His talon moved faster than I could keep track of and he snatched the missile out of the air. “Ah, your foreleg works as well. That is good to know. Now you can cut your own bread. I baked it so it is only fair. Besides, those hooves of yours look like they would be good at mixing and kneading dough.”

He gestured behind him. “Do you like what you see? It is quite a beautiful place, I must say. You will get to see it all because, tomorrow, you will be joining me on my morning walks.”

I held up a hoof. “No, no, no. Going from the bed to the window was hard enough. Ah can't go for a hike in the forest yet.”

He nodded. “We will not be going far. Not at first, but you need to strengthen your legs. It will hurt, but you will become stronger. Now, what would you like for supper?”

I had been subsisting off of milk and only started back on solid foods a few days before. “Carrots.”

“I have carrots. How about some fresh-baked bread to go with it?”

I smiled. “Ah like bread.”

Standing, he came to the window. “Well, little pony, you have managed to go from the bed to the window. Let us see if you can make the long and difficult journey to the table. I do not think you have it in you.”

So, he wanted to egg me on? I wasn't one to back down from a challenge.

“Think ya'll can best me, City-Slicker? Ah'll kick your plot clear across town.”

I blinked, the memory of the stallion was sudden and unbidden, but I knew him. I didn't know his name, but I knew him.

Yantzen cocked his head. “Are you alright, little pony?”

My attention snapped back to him. “Ah'll show ya what Ah have in me, bird-brain.”

x----x

“So this is it? This is what you have in you?”

True to his word, Yantzen was taking it easy on me. Our morning walk comprised of doing laps around his cabin. It wasn't large by any standard, but it was still a trial, especially after the fifth lap.

“Lay off,” I panted. “Ah only...just got...outta bed...yesterday.”

“I expected more from you, little pony.”

“Ah have a name, ya know.” I snapped back.

“Oh? You have remembered it then? Please share it.”

I paused and stared at the ground a moment, trying to remember my name. It was all so frustrating and I wanted nothing more than to know everything that I knew I should know. However, I had made no progress for all of the effort I put in.

“Ah can't.”

He blinked at me. “You cannot remember your name or you cannot share it?”

“Ah can't remember!” I snapped. An instant later, I regretted my tone. “Ah'm sorry, Yantzen. It's just really frustratin'.”

He sat down next to me and placed a talon across my back. “I understand. Be patient. All will become clear soon enough.” He stared at my cutie mark, a single red apple with a white heart in the center. His fixation was unnerving me a little.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You ponies, are you not named for this mark?”

“I suppose. Sometimes the mark coincides with the name, sometimes it doesn't.”

Yantzen raised a talon to scratch at his white, feathered head. “I cannot continue to call you 'little pony'. It is rude and condescending. If you are in need of a name, and cannot remember your own, then I shall give you one. Your name shall coincide with your mark and I will call you 'Appleheart'.”

I snorted. “Bit simple, don't ya think?”

“Indeed, and it will be easy to remember. Come, Appleheart, we will go inside and have our breakfast. Then, you may rest.”

After a breakfast of tomatoes and eggs, I chose to rest outside. As much as I liked Yantzen's little house, it could get stuffy, especially with his cook-fire and the summer heat. I lay in the grass and watched as he milled about in his garden, with his little bucket and his tools and his big straw hat. My attention was taken when a pair of colorful butterflies flitted past my nose. With no small effort, I pushed myself to my hooves and made after them, but they were far too fast for me to keep up.

I followed the butterflies around the house where I spotted a small plot filled with beautiful flowers. Blossoms of every hue showed their colors with pride. Tulips and posies mingled with pansies and daffodils.

“Beautiful, no?”

Yantzen came up and sat down beside me. “My wife loved flowers and I built special boxes so that she might grow them from the windows. Everything was always so dreary in Beaklin, where we lived, but those flowers made everything so bright and cheerful. Whenever she saw them, she looked so happy, and I was happy that she was happy.”

“Where is she now?”

He heaved a heavy sigh. “She is gone.”

My ears fell. “Ah'm sorry.”

From his vest, he removed a small wooden pipe and a pouch of tobacco. After filling his pipe, he struck a match and lit the fragrant weed, taking a few puffs before speaking again.

“Do not be, I am not. I loved her and I know she loved me. She lives in a far better place than anything I could give her and I know she waits for me there. In good time, I will join her, but I must atone for my sins before I may. I keep these flowers to remind me of what I am forever working towards.”

I wondered what terrible things he had done that he felt the need to atone for, out here and alone. I didn't press him, though. He would tell me when he was ready.

I sat with him while we watched the flowers and he smoked on his pipe, speaking quietly in a strange language. While I didn't know the language, I could recognize the cadence of his words. I had heard them dozens of times before, but I couldn't remember where.

“Gott, der Schöpfer von allem, was gut und heilig ist, halten meine Hilda nah an Ihre Brust, geben Sie ihr den Komfort konnte ich nicht, bis ich für meine Wege von Mord und Schmerz vergeben worden und kann sie noch einmal mitmachen. Bitte versichern ihr, dass ich an ihre Seite, wo ich immer gehört haben zurückzukehren. Ich brauche nur meinen Weg finden.“