Learn to Fly (Derpy's Tale)

Chapters

Part 1: Bubbles
Part 2: Hourglass
Part 3: Butterflies
Part 4: Diamonds
Part 5: Spectrum
Bonus: Colored Leaves

Part 1: Bubbles

A story that I wrote when I was just a filly, called “Bubbles”, has been leaked to the public. Ever since it was released everypony has been giving me strange looks and a few have been asking me if I’m alright and similar stuff. I’m quite all right now, thank you very much, that was a long time ago. I’ve changed quite a bit since then, and I feel that now I am obligated to give the whole story behind “Bubbles”, the story of my life. So here it is, starting off from the end of that dreaded narrative.

***

There I was in the Everfree Forest, making bubbles, blissfully unaware of what was going on around, unaware of how my mother had left. Soon it was night, and only then did I begin to notice that something was amiss, as my father had not come back yet and the sky had already turned orange and then black. However, being the naive creature I was at the time, I did not get worried and I continued to play with the bubble wand. I sat there happily until I heard a loud voice that said something along these lines:

“My, what’s a little filly like you doing all alone in the Everfree Forest at this hour?”

The voice startled me and I dropped the bubble wand. I turned around and saw who was speaking, a grown Earth pony with an amber coat and a red mane. Her mane was held in a neat little bun and she had a cutie mark of a green plant with three red berries. I tried to stammer out a reply, but I was surprised and my mouth was too clumsy to form proper words so all I could say was “Buhhh...”. When she heard me speak she gasped and then started stammering.

“Oh dear...oh dear...I can’t believe this happened...not in a town like Ponyville...ok sweetie, I’ll...I’ll help you...oh dear...now come on...”.

When I heard her say sweetie I stood up and said “Sweetie”, and the mare smiled. She then walked behind me and was about to nudge me from behind, but then she noticed that there was now a cutie mark on my flank. I did not know what was going on at the time, but she told what had happened later. When she saw the mark she burst into tears. Eventually she got herself together, grabbed my fallen bubble wand, and lead me out of the forest by blowing bubbles, mumbling as she walked.

“Bubbles...that’s what she was trying to say....her talent is bubbles... and now she is all alone, abandoned on the day she got her cutie mark...how could anyone do such a thing to such a sweet little creature?....poor little thing....”

Eventually we made it to a little cottage with a green roof next to a river and she lead me inside. After I went inside the mare stopped and looked back at me.

“Sweetie, can you tell me your name?”

I thought for a second before I spoke. My name was one of the few things I could say properly. I nodded my head.

“So then what is it?”

“Derpy.”

“Derpy? What type of name of is that? Would you mind if I call you Ditzy instead?”

I nodded my head. My father called me Sweetie as well as Derpy, so I figured it would be ok for me to be referred to by another name. The mare then got me some oats to eat, lead me to a bed and told me to sleep in it. It was not my home, but since I was tired and hungry I couldn't resist the food and the warm bed.

***

The next day the mare coaxed me onto a cart, tied me in so I was secure, and then took me to a hospital much like the one I visited after being poisoned. This time the doctors examined and tested me instead of giving me medicine. Eventually they to came to their results, and they left me with a few toys to play with while they talked with the mare. I did not hear them at the time, but I learned of them later.

“We cannot find this filly anywhere on our records. We believe that either she must be from out of town or her mother was a recluse. She has severe speech and motor control impairments, and she appears to be overwhelmed by large amounts of stimulus. She also has strabismus, commonly referred to as walleye. Even though she appears to be mentally challenged and she indeed scored low on many of the tests, further testing of her has made us come to believe that she actually might have a fairly high mental capacity, but difficulties in communication and isolation have kept her from reaching her full potential, and sensory difficulties have also been impairing her. The child was probably abandoned because her mother couldn’t handle her anymore. Miss Doo, if you don’t feel like you can take care of such a foal we could have her put up for adoption. “

Miss Doo decided that she was not going to put me up for adoption, and that one way or another she was going to take care of me and help me reach my full potential. She thanked the doctors, picked me up from the room with the toys, and took me back to her home.

***

Overtime Miss Doo tried to communicate through various means, but I was a hard child to reach. I wasn’t very good at talking, and I wasn’t all too good at listening either. This made her attempts at conversation very difficult. Eventually she decided to try a different approach. She decided she was going to teach me how to read, and that was the greatest gift that was ever given to me.

Despite being barely able to talk or listen, I found learning how to read surprisingly easy. While my vision was not very good due to my strabismus it didn’t effect me too much while reading. Reading does not require accurate depth perception. As I learned that the symbols on the page meant sounds, and the groups of these symbols had meaning, something within me clicked, and I learned a lot. I learned what sound each symbol meant quickly, and soon I began to recognize words. Flour. Mommy. Muffin. Sweetie. Soon enough I did not even need to associate the symbols with the sounds they made and I could read just by recognizing words. Reading was a lot easier than listening as the words on the page did not move, I could take all the time I’d like to digest the information. Reading gave me a whole new depth to life.

While Miss Doo knew I could read as she could get me to read and stumble out the words on the page with my clumsy mouth, communication is a two way process, and she still did not have an efficient way for me to get an idea across to her. She tried teaching me how to write, but I was not dexterous enough to hold a pencil well enough to write. Miss Doo was getting frustrated, but she was not out of ideas. She decided to take a block and cover it with the symbols in such a way that I could point out one symbol at a time. We now had a very slow way to communicate, where I could point out a symbol and she would would write it down, but I still liked this better than talking. One problem with this was I could only communicate when I got Miss Doo to write down what I was trying to say while I tapped away at the block, and it wasn't the fastest means of communicating. We managed to get around this by using gestures for common phrases, and secondary blocks with symbols for common words was made. Still, I eventually needed to learn to talk effectively, but that would have to wait.

***

One day Miss Doo asked me to tell her what happened to me before she found me. She got me my block, and painstakingly I pattered out a sequence of letters while she recorded them. Now, my memory is incredible, but I really did not know how to describe most of the details, and back then even my writing was worse than my talking now. As I recalled the memories so I could convey them to Miss Doo I lived them in my mind, and wrote as if they were happening then. Somehow I managed to produce a somewhat lengthy block of words, which is now known as “Bubbles”. Yes, that is where “Bubbles” came from. After Miss Doo finished transcribing, she read over it, tears flowing from her eyes. Finally she spoke.

“Come Ditzy, lets go make muffins.”

I followed her to the kitchen, which was really just part of the living room, and we made purple blueberry muffins together, just as I did with my mother before she abandoned me. This time I didn’t make any messes, and the muffins were delicious, and very purple.

***

That was the story behind “Bubbles”. However, my story is far from over; this is only the beginning. I still needed to learn to cook on my own, to learn to talk effectively, and most of all, to learn to fly.

Part 2: Hourglass

A great deal of my time was spent reading books I found in Miss Doo’s study. Miss Doo was a naturalist who specialized in Everfree Forest botany who made her living off of selling herbal remedies and books she wrote. As such there were lots of books on all sorts of topics relating to the natural sciences, including a few written by Mary Doo, as was Miss Doo’s full name, and I was able to convince her to get me new books when I finished all the ones that interested me. Before long I developed an obsession for the sciences, specifically physics, and even more specifically, aerodynamics.

I had always wanted to fly, but my motor control and visual impairments prevented from learning flying at the normal ages for a pegasus. I spent most of my time studying aerodynamics one way or another. I read books on physics and vector calculus, observed motes of dust as they floated through the air, and studied the motions of butterflies in flight. Before long I knew far more about the theory of flight than even most flight engineers in Cloudsdale, but all that knowledge didn’t have any practical benefit for me. I still could not fly, no matter how hard I seemed to try. I simply could not focus my eyes and my wings were too weak.

Miss Doo used what she found in “Bubbles” to try to make me feel more at home. She bought me another yellow doll, and while it wasn’t Miss Sweetie I still enjoyed playing with her and I named her Miss Ditzy. We also started cooking together more, especially by baking muffins. As I practiced cooking, I got better and grew more dexterous and stronger. With her help I got to the point where I could successfully go through the process of baking blueberry muffins without making any messes every time. At that point I started baking on my own. At first I kept screwing up because in the moment I’ll forget to do one thing or another or overlook something, but soon enough I got the routine familiarized and I had no problems with making blueberry muffins.

While I could now listen fine, I still did not speak very well. Miss Doo continued to try to coax me to talk., but I lacked the motivation to learn, and as we had already established a means of communicating with each other she began to lose her motivation as well. When somepony works hard for something and it appears that there would be little reward for succeeding, and no progress appears to be being made no matter how hard she tries, she will tend to put minimal if any effort into pursuing that goal after a while, and Miss Doo began to give up.

I figured I would not need to speak as Miss Doo and I communicated just fine, and I would not need to interact with other ponies, wherever they were. I would stay here, until one day I would learn to fly, and then I would fly off and find my mommy and daddy and then we would fly off together to the rainbows. However, that was all going to change with the addition of one more pony into my life. A colt, to be precise.

***

One day I was in the bedroom playing with Miss Ditzy when I heard a knocking on the door. I jumped up with a start as there shouldn’t have been somepony knocking on the door at this time. Miss Doo was in the house, so it couldn’t have been her, and the only pony who ever stopped by her house was the was the mail stallion who brought her letters and such and picked up her goods to sell. He only came once a week, and he had just come yesterday, so nopony should have been there today. I rushed downstairs and found that Miss Doo had opened the door and a colt was standing in the doorway.

He was around my age, and he was brown, with blue eyes and a spiked up mane. On his flank was the emblem of an hourglass. Miss Doo smiled and spoke.

“Speedy Hooves! How nice to see you! what brings you here on a fine morning like this?”

“Aunt Mary, my mother broke her hoof yesterday, and it has grown infected, so she sent me over to get some of that ointment from you, so...”

At this point he stopped as he noticed me. He then whispered into Miss Doo’s ear, but I could still hear him.

“Hey, who is that cute filly who just came downstairs?”

Miss Doo glanced back over her shoulder, then whispered back into his ear.

“Oh, that’s Derpy, but I call her Ditzy. She has been living with me for a few years now. Don’t pay too much attention to her, she mainly just keeps to herself. My, has it really been that long since you visited me last?”

Speedy Hooves decided to ignore Miss Doo’s advice and spoke directing to me.

“Hey Ditzy! I like your hair!”

I tried to stammer out a reply, but all that came out was a “beh..behh.” and then a high pitched squeak as I ran back upstairs and into the bedroom, and threw myself onto my bed. Once upstairs I heard Speedy Hooves say something, but I couldn’t make out what he said. Miss Doo then replied.

“I warned you not to talk to her. Ditzy is not your average pony, she wasn’t and still isn’t ready to speak to you yet. I’ll get you the Hawkberry salve.”

I heard the sound Miss Doo fetching the salve, and then of Speedy Hooves leaving the cottage. Miss Doo then walked upstairs and into the bedroom, sat herself down on the bed beside me, and spoke to me.

“Ok, Sweetie, I’ve had enough of this. I know you can talk, you would just rather patter messages out on that block of yours. Speedy Hooves isn’t going to wait for you to go and poke at that thing, he expects you to speak back to him, and what you did today offended him. We can’t keep this up forever. You need to learn to use your voice. Look, I know this is not easy for you, but I believe in you. Ditzy, you can do hard things, you have come amazingly far from that clumsy little filly I took in years ago. Now you can read, write, listen, and cook by yourself. If you practice speaking, it get easier, but you need to start practicing first, and now is good time to start. Speedy is going to come back one day, and you needed to be prepared to speak back to him one day. Oh Derpy, will you promise to me that you will try now?”

I stared back at Miss Doo for a moment, a bit shocked and what she had just said. Finally I spoke.

“Aa...I’lll....ch..tr...try.”

Miss Doo smiled back at me.

“I love you, Sweetie.”

***

We spent the next few weeks practicing talking. I was slow, but I was getting better and getting slightly faster over time. It was hard, but I wasn’t going to give up, I had made a promise to Miss Doo and I wasn’t going to break it. I was going to try, and every night I reminded myself that I could do hard things. I can do hard things.

I was getting better and better, but still there was something lacking. Miss Doo said there was something wrong about my mannerisms, but she had no idea how she was supposed to correct them. She also made me work on my manners, in preparation for a time when I had to deal with other ponies who actually cared. She taught me to say “puh..leez.” and “thuu...ayn...kyooo..”. I found it completely unnecessary, but Miss Doo said other ponies liked it when you said those words as it showed that you cared. I didn’t see why it mattered, but I did it anyway. These social conventions were so confusing to an isolated young pony such as myself.

I could not forget that colt who appeared that day. When I thought of him I felt a feeling that I do not know how to even attempt to describe. He came to me in my dreams at night. I wanted nothing more than to see him again. As Miss Doo promised, Speedy Hooves did return one day, and it was a lot sooner than the hiatus between the last two visits.

***

Miss Doo received a letter one fine afternoon saying that her sister and Speedy were coming over. Her sister said that she realized she had not visited her dear sister in far too long, and that they needed to fix this rift that was growing between them and strengthen their relationship. Miss Doo told me to stay in my room while she was over as she didn’t believe I was ready to deal with other ponies yet.

However, I was not going to have that. I was not just going to let Speedy come over and slip away between my hooves. While I stayed in my room I practiced saying phrases to myself to prepare for when Speedy came, and then I would say them to him. I was going to prove them all I could do hard things.

I waited until I heard knocking on the door and heard Speedy and his mother come in, and then I made my move. I came out of my room and stood at the top of the stairs, watching what was happening below. Miss Doo’s back was to me, and in front of her was Speedy Hooves and a caramel colored mare with black hair. I waited as the two mares talked while Speedy silently hung around, staring at the ground. At last I decided I was going to make my move.

“Hello S-Speedy!”

Everyone now turned towards me and instantly I began to regret doing anything. I began to back away, but then Speedy spoke.

“Hey Ditzy. My, I love your voice.”

I stared back at him for a second, then I realized that this what is called a compliment, and I was supposed to thank him for it.

“Th-thank you.”

Speedy came up to me. My first friendship was about to begin.

***

I was sitting with Speedy in my room one afternoon and we were lying on our bed. We weren’t really doing anything in particular at the moment, we were just lying there. Now I could speak just fine, it was no longer hard. After a while I decided to ask him a question.

“Speedy, what does your cutie mark mean?”

He turned and looked at his cutie mark. He then turned back to me.

“Oh, my talent is time keeping. I have a real knack for reading clocks and even hourglasses down to the tenth of the second, and I’m good with starting them and synchronizing them so I can get exact times. I discovered my talent when I noticed that my clock and several of the other clocks in Ponyville were off, so after I figured out which of clocks in Ponyville were displaying the correct time, and then I figured out how to set my own clock. After I fixed the time on my own clock I received my cutie mark.”

As he relayed his story, I was reminded that I had never actually been to Ponyville proper except for my initial visit to the hospital. I had always stayed in the grounds surrounding Miss Doo’s cottage, which lay in the outskirts. I enjoyed listening to Speedy’s tales regarding Ponyville, and I was going to ask for him to tell me more, but that was not to be.

“Now, your cutie mark is the real mystery. Bubbles, now what does that mean, Ditzy dear?”

Speedy whispered into my ear as he reached across my back and placed his hoof on my flank, right over my cutie mark. The sensation of him touching me caused me to tense up as I was overwhelmed. Speedy then removed his hoof. After I was able to regain my composure I spoke.

“I’m not exactly sure. I guess it means I’m good at making bubbles. I got it the day before I came to live with your aunt. I remember my mother took me off into the woods. She gave me the bubble wand and bubble solution, and taught me to wave it around and make bubbles. I then made bubbles until dusk, and my mother disappeared and Miss Doo found me, and later I found that I had my cutie mark. I don’t know where mom went, but I will find her one day, and then I’ll show her just how far I have come. I’m going to learn to fly, and then I’ll find mom and dad and show them rainbows, including the one found on the surface of the bubble.”

Speedy was now staring back at me.

“That’s quite a story you have there. Now, can you show me this talent of yours? If bubble making is your talent you must make some pretty impressive bubbles”

I nodded, then got off of the bed and headed off to the chest at the foot of my bed, which I opened and retrieved the bubble wand and solution. Speedy then watched as I created bubbles.

“Uh, Ditzy, I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to be any better at blowing bubbles than any other pony. I don’t think that’s your special talent.”

I was quite shocked. If bubble making wasn’t my talent, what was?

“I don’t understand. This just doesn’t make any sense. What else could bubbles represent besides bubble making? What happened on that day?”

I was now pacing around the room and my voice was turning erratic.

“I blew bubbles! I made them and I watched them for hours on end! There they were, floating through the air as they outlined the air currents, covered in a thin iridescent film! I didn’t do anything except for make bubbles on that day. What does this mean! What-”

Speedy cut me off by grabbing me, putting a foreleg around my neck and he pulled me in for a reassuring hug.

“It doesn't matter what your talent is. I’m sure we will find out eventually. Whatever it is, I love you just the way you are.”

With that he kissed me on the forehead. I then knew everything was going to be alright.

Part 3: Butterflies

Eventually Miss Doo decided she was going to let me go into Ponyville as long as I was with Speedy. She preferred me being alone with a friend of the opposite sex than if I was alone without anyone I knew. In our trips to Ponyville I beheld many awesome things, and my whole perspective on the world changed. I felt the cobblestones beneath my feet, smelled hay in the air, tasted freshly baked pastries, heard the sound of ponies conversing, and most of all I saw lots of other ponies. I had not seen this many ponies in years. They were of all sorts of ponies: big ponies, small ponies, blue ponies, pink ponies, girl ponies and boy ponies. Speedy introduced to me several of the ponies around our age and they talked. He said I was his fillyfriend, and I met so many friendly ponies.

However, not all of the ponies were nice. I heard some of them whisper when they thought I was out of earshot, commenting on my eyes. Some ponies didn’t even have that much tact and just laughed when they saw me. I discovered while watching bubbles and dust that if I tried hard enough I could make my eyes align properly. It took a lot of effort, so I only did it when I needed to observe something closely. Now that I was around other ponies I wondered if I should try to hide it all the time. When I brought it up to Speedy he told me not to mind what the other ponies said, that I shouldn’t change for anyone, and that he found my eyes beautiful just the way they were.

Speedy also taught me many other great and wonderful things. He taught me that sometimes ponies say one thing and actually mean the opposite, and taught me signs to pick up on to see if they were meaning something else. He also taught me that by paying attention to how other ponies move, how they speak, and how they move the muscles in their face it is possible to make assumptions about what the pony is thinking. Speedy said this came to most ponies naturally, but he tried to teach me what he could. I wasn’t very good at this, but the subject fascinated me. The whole world of ponies in Ponyville fascinated me.

***

It was another ordinary day, and today I decided to bake muffins. I got out the flour, butter, sugar, blueberries, oil, eggs, milk, and baking powder out and lined them all up. I then added the appropriate measures of flour, salt, sugar, and baking powder into a bowl. As I was mixing them together I fell over and spilled powder everywhere when I heard a loud boom coming from outside. I ignored the mess that I had just made and rushed outside. I saw what appeared to be a rainbow expanding rapidly across the sky. After the spectacle passed I went back inside so I could try to clean up the mess I made before Miss Doo returned home from inside the forest.

***

Miss Doo came home later that night, but she was not alone. Tailing behind her was a yellow pegasus filly. She had long pink hair, teal eyes, and three pink butterflies as a cutie mark. She was several years younger than me, and she stayed behind Miss Doo and kept her head turned down. Since she was yellow and yellow is my favorite color I took an instant liking to her.

“Hey Ditzy, look who I found. I found her all alone in the forest, just like how I had found you. Oh, she reminds me so much of you, it’s really a bit scary. She’s hasn’t said anything, she’s the same age as you were, and she is a pegasus just like you. My, she hasn’t even told me her name yet. Here, go show her to your room.”

She gently nudged the little yellow filly towards me. She then headed off into the kitchen to cook up something, and thankfully she did not notice that I had failed to completely clean up my mess.

“Why, hello there. What’s your name?”

The filly mumbled under her breath, but I understood her.

“Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy. That’s a nice name. My name is Derpy, but most people call me Ditzy. Now come follow me and I’ll show you to your room.”

She followed me as I lead her into the bedroom. As she plodded up the stairs behind me she hardly made a sound. Once we arrived she just stood there for a moment, staring at the ground.

“Well, here is my bed. You can go sleep in it tonight. “

Fluttershy got up onto the bed, and then just sat there. I decided to leave her be and go down to help Miss Doo.

***

After I finished helping Miss Doo cook up some sort of casserole made from various plants she found in the forest I carried a bowl of it up to Fluttershy. As I came up I heard her voice from within and I figured she must be talking to herself, but once I looked inside I discovered she was actually talking to a small red bird.

The bird was now perched at the foot of the bed. I figured it must have came in through the window. It appeared to be listening patiently as Fluttershy gave it a lengthy lecture on the techniques of sewing and historical fashions. While these subjects bored me I managed to stay focused on her as the whole spectacle had me mesmerized. Finally she began to reach a conclusion.

“Thank you for listening to me. Nopony ever listens to me. Instead they just make fun of me. They make of fun of me when I talk, when I try to fly, and when I cry. Then even used to make fun of me when I walked, but then mommy made me take classes to improve my posture, and now I’m graceful even when I’m not trying. Why do they have to make fun of me?”

At this point I decided I was going to speak. I wasn’t just going to drop off her food and leave her with those thoughts.

“Oh, Fluttershy,"

When I started speaking she squeaked and the bird flew away. After a second I continued.

” I’ll never make fun of you. Let me tell you something. People often make fun of my eyes. It bothers me, but then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter what they think. I remember that I like myself just the way I am. My friend Speedy Hooves tells me that my eyes are beautiful. Do you have any friends?“

Fluttershy didn’t say anything. She just turned her head down. I then realized that maybe asking that question wasn’t such a good idea.

“Well, I brought you some food. I hope you enjoy it.”

I placed the bowl in front of her, and then turned around to leave.

“Good night, Fluttershy.”

As I was heading out the door she finally spoke.

“Wait, Ditzy, don’t leave.”

I stopped, and turned back towards her.

“Except for the animals, I really only have one other friend. There used to be this group of fillies who would look after me and help me, but I drifted away from them over time, and now only one friend is left. Her name is Rainbow Dash, and while she is loud and rough, I still like her and now she is the only pony who would ever stand up for me. “

She paused for a moment, then continued.

”Ditzy, will you be my friend?”

I smiled at her.

“Yes, I will.”

***

Over time I was gradually able to get the story from Fluttershy about where she came from. Apparently she was from Cloudsdale, and she was in what was called Summer Flight Camp on that day. She was being bullied by a group of colts because she couldn’t really fly, then Rainbow Dash came in and defended her. The colts challenged Rainbow Dash to a race, and during the race Fluttershy fell from the clouds and plummeted because she couldn’t fly. She was rescued by a cloud of butterflies near the ground, and there she met many animals. There was then a large explosion and a rush of color across the sky, scaring all of the critters. She coaxed them out of hiding, and that caused her to earn her cutie mark. She spent the rest of the day in the forest with the animals, whose connection with her seemed to stronger than that of any pony, except maybe Rainbow Dash. After she was with the animals for a while and it started to get dark, she started to get scared as she was all alone in a strange place, but then Miss Doo came.

We now knew more or less where Fluttershy lived, which was be somewhere in Cloudsdale that could be located with her help, but there was still the problem of actually getting her there. Miss Doo couldn’t fly there as she was an earth pony, and being a recluse and all she didn’t really know any other pegasi. I couldn’t fly her home as I couldn’t fly. If we really wanted to we could have found a way for her to be returned home, but neither Miss Doo nor Fluttershy were particularly motivated at the time. While Fluttershy missed Rainbow Dash and her family, she didn’t want to leave the animals on the surface behind. There isn’t a lot of animals in Cloudsdale. Miss Doo just found Fluttershy too adorable to let her go, so Fluttershy was here to stay, at least for a while.

Speedy continued to come over sometimes, and he said he found Fluttershy cute. He said there's different types of cute, and while there was some overlap in the cute I had with Fluttershy, I was also a different type of cute than Fluttershy. I tried to get him to elaborate on what he meant by that, but all he said was the Fluttershy was filly-cute and I was mare-cute, and I remained slightly confused.

During her stay with us I showed Miss Doo’s extensive collection of books to Fluttershy. Knowing Fluttershy loved animals, I figured she would enjoy Miss Doo’s works on nature. Fluttershy appreciated them greatly, and she often read them when she wasn’t playing with actual animals. While we had numerous books on animals, there was absolutely none on her other passion, sewing. While Fluttershy did sew a few things when we got her the materials she needed, she seemed more interested in learning as much as possible about sewing and discussing it than actually sewing. I decided I’d return the favor and discuss aerodynamics with her. This of course led to the inevitable discussion on flight.

***

“You keep talking about all of this flying stuff ,and you seem to know a lot about how things move around in the air, but I’ve never actually seen you even try to fly. Are you broken like me?”

This struck me. Did Fluttershy just say she was broken?

“Fluttershy, you’re not broken. You just need a bit more time and practice to get strong enough to fly than the other fillies do. Yes, Fluttershy, I’m like you in that aspect. I simply haven’t learned to fly yet. You know what, we can practice together now. I promise that once I learn to fly I will take you home. Got that?”

Fluttershy nodded her head, and then spoke.

“But Ditzy, am I going to have to get older than you before I finally become a good flier?”

“I’m sure you are going to fly well at younger age than I will. If your story is true you already fly slightly better than me, and you have all the ponies teaching you how to fly and making you practice at Flight Camp. I never had anything like that, I’ve never been to sky or around a lot of other pegasi before.”

“Is that because you mom doesn’t have wings?”

I turned away from Fluttershy and turned my head towards the ground.

“Miss Doo isn’t my mother. My mother and father are pegasi just like us. I don’t know where we lived, but it wasn’t here or even in Ponyville. We stayed on the ground because I couldn’t fly at all, and they weren’t expecting me to fly anytime soon. We were separated from each other years ago, and at that time I could barely even talk.”

Now I turned back to Fluttershy, my vigor renewed.

“Look at me now! I can speak very well, just like any other pony! I will learn to fly, and I will find my parents. I will then show them how far I have come and how much I have learned! I will show them that I am not weak, I am not helpless, that I am a proper pegasus, not a retard!”

At this point I noticed that Fluttershy was giving me a weird look. She was also sort of cowering away from me. After a second I realized that this is one of the more obvious signs that Speedy told me might mean a pony was scared. I then realized that I was practically yelling at her just a moment ago.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean frighten you.”

Fluttershy was still giving me a weird look.

“Oh, nevermind. Can you go show me how you practiced up there in Cloudsdale?”

Fluttershy smiled, and I sighed in relief.

“Okay, come follow me.”

***

So we began to practice flight. Fluttershy was actually significantly better than me, as she could sort of fly. It was more of just a light hover a few feet above the ground that she couldn’t hold for very long, but I’ve seen her go up higher on occasion, and it was apparently enough to survive in Cloudsdale. That made it all the more more apparent why I lived on the surface, and couldn’t live in the sky with the other pegasi. She actually wasn’t that bad in my opinion, and I guess the reason why it appeared she couldn’t fly earlier was simply that she was too nervous when she was around other ponies. Apparently knowing that I was an even worse flier than her boosted her confidence, but it sure didn’t help me.

As Fluttershy flew, I closely studied her movements. I had never had such a chance before, and the flight movements of pegasi was significantly different from that of a butterfly or a bird due to the different distribution of mass. After studying her for a while I was finally able to lift myself off of the ground for few seconds. I was overjoyed.

***

I rushed inside and shouted for Fluttershy and Miss Doo.

“Fluttershy, Miss Doo, I’ve finally done it! I got myself in the air!”

After I got their attention I headed back outside. Once they followed me out and they were watching me I showed them. Miss Doo delivered her praise.

“Way to go! How did you manage to do it?”

“Well, I’ve been studying the motions Fluttershy has been making when she flies, so then I figured out what they were and copied them.”

I then gave a very technical explanation about what was going on. Fluttershy was simply dazed with wonder.

“I’ve been doing that for years and I’ve still don’t think I can explain all the motions involved. How did you do that?”

“Well, I’ve been studying how things move through the air since....”

I trailed off as I had an epiphany. It was since that day in the forest where I was playing with bubbles after I was separated from my mother.

“Find Speedy! I’ve figured out the true meaning of my cutie mark!”

***

While I managed to propel myself in the air by flapping my wings, I still couldn’t fly. As it turned out following a strict series of motions was not natural for a reason, and trying to calculate how to adjust them to the circumstances through higher mathematics simply didn’t work. I needed something to drive me farther, something to push me so I’d be able to sustain it for longer. This passive, intellectual method simply wasn’t working. I needed instinct to kick in.

Oh, I was going to get that push all right.

***

On that fateful day Fluttershy was upset. The anxiety she was getting from being separated from everything she knew for too long had finally gotten to her and after a trigger was set off she exploded. Fluttershy is like that. She tends to be passive most of the time, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t show too much emotion, but once she gets pushed too far she snaps and her entire demeanor changes, turning from the sweetest pony around into a force to feared if she’s angry, otherwise she just bursts into tears.

Anyway, it all started with breakfast. I was frying up some daffodils for us to eat, and I ended up slightly burning them. I tried to fix them as best as I could before I served them, but I wasn’t able to remove all the excess char. As I gave Fluttershy her serving even I could tell she was displeased.

“Fluttershy, if you want I could cook up some more so they won’t be burnt.”

Fluttershy just hung her head and slowly stirred her daffodils.

“No, I’m fine. You really don’t need to bother with me.”

“Well, if you say so, but if you need anything just tell me. I’ll be outside”

Fluttershy said nothing. I headed out and attempted to practice flying. I really wasn’t getting anywhere, but I still tried. After a while I just gave up, collapsed onto my belly, and watched insects. Later I came back inside. Fluttershy had abandoned her daffodils. I went upstairs into the bedroom and I found Fluttershy pouting on the bed. I came up to her and sat next to her on the bed.

“Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”

This is when Fluttershy snapped. She turned and shouted at me.

“What’s wrong? I want to go home! I miss my mommy! I miss my daddy! I miss Rainbow Dash! I’m tired, and hungry and you burned my daffodils! And now I’m stuck here because you can’t fly, and probably never will!”

Hearing this come from Fluttershy made it sting all the more. I had no idea how I was supposed to react to this, so after I just froze up for a few seconds I reached out to hug her. That was a very bad idea. She swatted my hoof away, then continued screaming at me.

“Don’t touch me!” Please don’t touch me....please...”

She burst into tears, jumped off the bed, leaped out of the window, and flew off. This was not like Fluttershy. I just sat there, my jaw dropping in disbelief. After I was able to get my thoughts together I realized that she had just flown off into the Everfree Forest. Miss Doo had often warned me that the forest was a dangerous place for fillies and we were both very lucky to have gotten out unharmed, and with Fluttershy in her current emotional state she was sure to attract some unwanted attention. I had to do something. I jumped out the window after her and managed to pull off a glide as I followed her.

***

After running through the forest for a while I still hadn’t found her. I was beginning to lose hope, but then I heard a roar and the sound of a filly screaming. I was about to head off in the direction of the sound, but then I heard her scream again, coming from a different direction. I made a few quick calculations and estimated where Fluttershy was heading, then headed off towards there as fast as I could, hoping to intercept her.

“Fluttershy, I’m coming!”

After running for a while I found her. She was screaming her poor head off and her flank appeared to be singed. Something large was chasing after her. I ran along beside her, then managed to scoop her up onto my back. She held tight as I ran faster and faster in a mighty gallop. I felt that we were starting to outrun what ever that thing was, but then we came across across a gorge. I turned and started to run alongside in hopes that I would find a way across it, but I did not and the change in direction was making it easier for the beast to reach us. I realized I had no choice. I was either going to fly or die.

I stopped running and tried to think through the motion I did when I hover, but I couldn't think properly in this state. I heard another roar, this one louder, and I knew I was running out of time. This method didn't work any other time, and it wasn't going to work now. Even though it was getting harder to think through the process of flight it seemed other parts of my mind where getting clearer. I could feel Fluttershy breathing on my back, her breath growing faster and faster as her fear rose, and I just had to do something to save her. Some I just knew to start running again, I flapped my wings, and I felt something funny going on in my mind. I just knew what to do without even thinking. As I took to the air I went over the gorge, then rose over the trees. I was flying.

As I broke through the canopy I began to circle around, looking around the area. I look behind me and I saw large large green thing sailing through the air, fire coming from it's mouth. As it turned out our pursuer was a large green dragon, and he could fly as we. A dragon was pursuing us, one of the deadliest creatures in Equestria. It was both majestic and terrifying. The thought of the beast made me just want to fall from the sky and hide, but my mind was working well enough now to know that wasn't going to work. The dragon might have been able to fly, but it was a slow fligher, and if I could keep this up we could out fly it. Our only hope was to flee the forest through flight.

After I located the edge of the forest I headed towards it as quickly as possible. I knew I had to put in all of my effort to get through this. Flight was absolutely exhausting, but stopping simply was not an option, so I had to hold in for just a little bit longer. With the dragon and the exhaustion on my mind I could feel my wings getting heavier as I sunk into despair, thinking that I would never made it. As I felt myself falling I realized that it was all in the attitude. I had accomplished many great feats that I thought were impossible, and if I just changed how I was thinking I make it.

So I thought about Fluttershy. If I failed now she would never be reunited with Rainbow Dash and her parents. If I failed I would never be reunited with my parents. Learning to fly was only half the battle. In order to show them all I had learned I needed to find them first, and I wouldn't be able to find them if I were dead. I thought about Speedy. He was impressed with my improvements, and if I showed him that I could now fly he would be even more impressed. I thought about Miss Doo. She was going to be so proud of me for coming this far, but she would only know of my accomplishment These thoughts gave me the strength I needed to continue flying, and with my thoughts on other things the pain went away. Before long we managed to lose the dragon, and I found our cottage. We landed, and Fluttershy got off of my back.

“Thank you. Ditzy, all the things I said earlier, I...I didn’t really mean them. W-will you forgive me? Are you mad at me?”

“Fluttershy, I’m not mad at you. It alright. I’ll tell you what, tomorrow, I’m going to fly you home. I just need to talk with Miss Doo first.”

***

Like usual, Miss Doo came home at night. I waited upon the roof for her, positioning myself so that she wouldn’t notice me. The moment I saw her I launched myself into the air and yelled to get her attention.

“Look, Miss Doo, can you believe it? I did it! I learned to fly!”

As I rose I swirled around and danced among the clouds. As Miss Doo looked up tears came to her eyes.

“Ditzy, I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it.”

Part 4: Diamonds

We departed for Cloudsdale the next day. It was a long flight, but after the events of the previous day I felt like I could do anything. After we arrived at the main plaza at the center of the city Fluttershy began to show me around. I was finally in the sky with the other pegasi. As I toured the aerial city I realized that this what had been denied from me all of my life. The light fluff of the clouds gave a reassuring spring to my step as I felt their soft puffiness.

And then there was the rainbows. These were what I had been looking for all of my life, what I needed to show my parents in the sky. The iridescent fluid stimulated all of the senses. They tasted like a strong pepper, felt like dissolved soap, sounded like a rushing waterfall, smelled like sweet lavender, and most of all looked like the surface of a bubble in all of their psychedelic glory. I was mesmerized by the rainbows, and after what felt like seconds, but were probably closer to hours, I remembered that Fluttershy still needed to find her parents. She waited there patiently the whole time, too non-intrusive to be assertive enough to remind me of my duties. I apologized, then we headed back to the skies.

With Fluttershy’s help I managed to navigate the city. It didn't take too long before I was able to locate her home based on the descriptions she gave me.

***

As we were flying over Cloudsdale I was also surveying the city, looking for her home. Fluttershy alerted me once she spotted it. She gently tugged on my hair and whispered into my ear.

“Um Ditzy, there it is. If you don’t mind will you fly me over there?”

“Of course.”

We then descended in front of the house and awkwardly waited in front of it. Neither of us were really the type to knock on doors, even if we needed or wanted to. Eventually someone inside noticed that there was ponies standing in front of their house, and the door was opened.

“Fluttershy!”

A mare ran out and swept Fluttershy into an embrace. As she held her tears began to flow from her eyes. Inside the house was a stallion, who beckoned for me to approach him.

“Hey, I don’t know who you are, but thank you for bringing my daughter back. After we lost her at Summer Flight Camp, we have been searching for her for months, and we were beginning to lose hope. Again, we are ever grateful. May I ask you how you happened to find her?”

“Well I live on the surface near Ponyville with an earth pony named Mary Doo. On the day she went missing Miss Doo found Fluttershy in the forest. It took us awhile to be able to reach her, but eventually we got her to tell us what happened. She said that on the day she was separated she was being bullied, and then her friend Rainbow Dash stood up for her and challenged the bullies to the race. Somehow she fell off the clouds during the race, and she fell all the way down to the surface because she couldn’t fly very well.”

The stallion was quite shocked by this.

“She fell to the surface? She should not have survived a fall like that, though I don’t think you can imagine how glad I am that she did. Well, carry on.”

“Well, the reason why we couldn’t take her home then was because we didn’t have a means of taking her back as I couldn’t fly. She stayed with us for several months as I took the time to learn to fly. Once I learned to fly I took her back to Cloudsdale, and we found your home.”

Now the stallions eyes were starting to water.

“Thank you, just thank you. I can just imagine the dedication that took for you to learn for fly just to help someone in need. May I ask you what your name is?”

“Derpy.”

“Just Derpy?”

I felt something unpleasant within me as he said that, almost like wanted to cry, but not quite. I didn’t know how to respond, but I tried anyway.

“Well....most ponies call me Ditzy....but my name is Derpy....I don’t know what my surname name is....as I was separated from my parents when I was a filly...”

The stallion grabbed me and hugged me close. The hug was comforting, the deep pressure taming that unpleasant feeling.

“I’m sure they haven’t forgotten about you, just as we never forgot about Fluttershy. I hope you will find them again someday.”

“Thank you.”

He then released me.

“By the way, Fluttershy would probably want to return Ponyville some time, she really loves the animals there. Just check out her flank.”

The stallion sharply turned his head towards me and stared at me as he snapped at me.

“What did you just say about my daughter?”

I was quite confused by this, bringing more unpleasant feelings. What I had done this time?

“I just said you should look at her flank as she now has a cutie mark. Did I do something wrong?”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have have done that, but you need to be careful about how you phrase things.”

He paused for a second.

“It’s not polite to stare at somepony’s flank, and the way you worded that was particularly rude as it appeared to suggest certain things.”

He paused again.

“Did you just say Fluttershy now has her cutie mark?”

“Yes, it’s pink butterflies. She got them on the day we found her.”

“Interesting. Rainbow Dash got her cutie mark on the same day, during the race. She got it after she managed to unleash a legendary sonic rainboom. It spread all across Cloudsdale.”

“Rainbow Dash created that colors that moved across the sky? I really want to meet this filly now!”

The stallion smiled.

“I’m sure Rainbow Dash would want to meet the mare who brought her friend back as well. She was just as worried as we were and I’m sure she will be glad to know that her friend has been found.”

***

Fluttershy’s parents let me stay at their house for the rest of the day and spend the night over there. This was the first time I had spent the night away from “home” since “home” became Miss Doo’s house. The moment awakened the memories of that first night with Miss Doo all those years ago. As I waited for sleep to come to me I thought of the events of the day, how Fluttershy was finally brought home to her parents, and how that related to me. Were my parents looking for me, and if so, would they ever find me? At last I fell asleep.

***

Soon enough I met Rainbow Dash. The news that Fluttershy was back spread soon enough, and Rainbow Dash came over the next day to see her friend for the first time in months. I heard a knock on the door, and as it was opened a cyan filly rushed into the house. At that moment I was with Fluttershy as she showed me her collection of dresses she made and books on sewing. As the other filly ran into the room I was startled, jumped up, fly directly upwards, and conked my head against the ceiling.

Once I got over the onset of pain the first thing I saw was rainbowness. As I got my senses recollected I realized that the rainbow was connected to the cyan thing, which was the filly. She was now talking with Fluttershy, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I stumped out of the room and looked for some ice.

***

After I found the ice I came back into the room. I was feeling better now. Fluttershy immediately chirped up as I entered.

“Ditzy, are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

The blue one then whispered to Fluttershy, but I could still pick it up.

“I told you she was going to be alright and there was no reason for you to worry yourself so much. I survive blows a lot harder than that all of the time.”

She then addressed me.

“Hi, I’m Rainbow Dash, the fasted filly in Cloudsdale, and future Wonderbolt. Fluttershy was telling me about you.”

“What’s a Wonderbolt?”

“If you weren’t from Ponyville I’d tackle you right now, every filly in Cloudsdale knows who the Wonderbolts are. The are the most awesome flying team in all of Equestria.”

“What’s a flying team?”

Rainbow Dash brought a hoof to her head. After some thought I came to the conclusion that she wasn’t as impressed me as I was impressed with her, the rainbow-maned creator of beautiful rainbooms. I bet as much as both appreciated what the other did, our relationship started with us both being equally irritated with the other.

***

Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly mean, but even though I’m years older than her she did not treat me as such, she sort of acted like she was even older than me. It was annoying, but I tolerated it as she was really quite a remarkable pony, it’s just her personality didn’t fit with mine. It’s really remarkable how Fluttershy’s friend is so different from her and how they get along so well. They really are an unusual, but remarkable pair.

I couldn’t stay in Cloudsdale much longer, so after I said goodbye I returned home where I found Miss Doo. She hugged me when I came home. Fluttershy was home with her parents, but I was to remain with Miss Doo for now.

***

Miss Doo said I was no longer just a filly, I was now a proper mare, and since I could fly now Miss Doo said I could now explore Ponyville on my own. As I ventured in Ponyville I once again learned many things, things that I could only find out on my own. Instead of just meeting Speedy’s friends, I met new ponies on my own and made my own friends. I spent time with them, we talked, they invited me to parties. I was now almost with more ponies than I could handle.

I then began to notice that there was more that set me apart from the other ponies than just my eyes. For one, I was clumsier than most of the other ponies. I seemed to bump into stuff more often and drop things more frequently, but it didn’t bother me that much. There was also something different about the way I presented myself, apparently I acted differently. This was more of a problem, but most of the other ponies were accepting of me just the way I was. When they weren’t, I just reminded myself what Speedy had told me, that he loved me just the way I was.

Ponyville has a very strong community, and I participated in many of the community projects and events. For example, there was Nightmare Night, the Running of Leaves, and Winter Wrap. At Winter Wrap up in Ponyville it became tradition for me to lead the birds. I remember my first Winter Wrap Up. As I was new to the whole event I wasn’t a part of any of the teams, so I was temporarily shuffled through various tasks until they found one I was good at. As I wasn’t particularly dexterous I wasn’t adequate to assemble bird nests, my general clumsiness made me a terrible ice breaker, my lack of physical strength prevented me from pulling plows, and all of my handicaps with flight were detrimental when cloud clearing. Eventually I was assigned to waking up the animals, which I had no problems with.

However, the head of the animal team came to realize that no one was leading the birds. I volunteered, and then another mare and I headed off to find the birds. Despite my poor sense of direction and flight skills my extensive knowledge of the flight patterns of birds and air currents made me one of the best bird leaders yet. Usually the leaders had to put a large deal of effort in making sure none of the birds got separated from the group, but for me figuring out how to fly so none of them would be lost or jostled in air currents was second nature to me. After I led the birds back the animal team leader was so impressed with me that since then I’ve always lead the birds back by default. Sometimes I absent-mindedly flew off in the wrong direction, but I always ended up getting all the birds home in the end.

And of course, I continued to go out with Speedy at times, but now they were called dates. He took me out to restaurants to eat things, we played games at his house, went for walks at the park, and the like. We started to hug more kiss more. At first it made me nervous to do this in public, but soon I got used to it and began to enjoy it. It was during one such date where he changed my life forever.

***

We were at the Clover Cafe, sitting across from each other at a table. Speedy had a burlap sack next to him. He had told me he was going to show me something special once I got there, something that could potentially change my future, and I knew this was going to be very important. I could hardly contain my excitement, so after we got there I asked him about it.

“Speedy, what was that you wanted to show me? I want to see it now!”

“Just a moment. Lets order our food first.”

Once the waiter came over I ordered a daffodil sandwich, as I always do. Speedy Hooves ordered a some sauteed clover and a side of hay fries. Once the food arrived I asked him again.

“Now can you show me it?”

“Please, eat first. It can wait for a moment.”

I devoured the sandwich as quickly as I could. Speedy said what he was going to show me could change my life forever, so I wanted to see it as soon as possible.

“Ok, I finished eating. Can I see it now?”

Speedy Hooves mouth was full of clover. After he chewed and swallowed, he spoke.

“Just a wait a minute. I need to eat too.”

While I waited for him to finish I fiddled with the hay fries and occasionally ate one of them until I noticed another pony staring at me and I remembered this was considered rude. I stopped and then stared down while waiting for him to finish.

“Ok, I’m done. Here it is.”

I watched as he pulled out a sheet of paper out of the sack. On it were some text describing the nature of the certificate, a few signatures, and in the center it said “Doctor Whooves”.

“As I’ve told you, before my family came to Ponyville we were the Whooves, not the Hooves, and we changed our name to better fit in. I decided that Whooves was a more suiting name on my doctorate pronouncing me the official Clock Doctor of Ponyville.

“That’s wonderful, but how is this going to potentially change my life forever?”

The newly appointed Doctor Whooves then reached inside the sack and pulled out a small box covered in blue velvet. He then passed it towards me.

“Open it, it’s for you.”

I didn’t particularly like the feel of velvet, but I could stand it as I knew what ever was in the box was worth touching it. I pried it open and looked inside. There was a metal disk large enough to fit around my hoof, and it was decorated with a gold and silver inlaid clock with small diamonds on the hands and on the band itself.

“With my new job, I’m going to be able afford my own house, and I plan on buying that green down on Lesser Mane Street. I’m asking if you want to join me in living there, as my bride.”

I looked him in the eye, and for one moment it did not take any effort at all. With that I leaned in and kissed him.

***

The moment I got home I told Miss Doo the good news. Today she was spending the day at home, writing something on a typewriter. I came up to her from behind.

“Miss Doo, your nephew just showed me that he is now the official Clock Doctor of Ponyville, and he asked for me to marry him and to come live with him. Isn’t this wonderful?”

When she heard the news she froze up. Slowly she turned to face me.

“Yes, that is wonderful. I’m so happy you.”

She then let out a low sigh.

“It’s just, just...after all this time, we’ve been together...”

She stood up, and headed up stairs into my bedroom. She just stood there and stared.

“What is it? Do you want for me not to do this?”

“No...go ahead and live your life, you deserve it. It’s just with Fluttershy gone once you leave I’ll be alone again. I going to miss you once you are gone.”

“...I don’t want to leave you either...I’m going to tell him I can’t do this.”

Miss Doo turned to me sharply.

“Don’t! At least, don’t cancel this for me. This is your decision to make, you are old enough to make your own choices. I’m going to support you fully in any decision you make. Just make sure you visit me more often than my sister does.”

“I promise I will.”

She held out her forelegs and I came into her embrace. As she held me I thought about something that had often been on my mind. I had a question for her.

“Miss, when Fluttershy left she returned to her parents, they were looking for her. I’ve been gone for for longer than her. Do you think my parents are looking for me now, just waiting for me to find them?”

Miss Doo didn’t say anything at first, taking longer to respond than I expected, but she finally spoke.

“Well...I’m not sure. You have been gone for a lot longer than Fluttershy has. They might have lost hope by now. Also...”

She paused for a few seconds.

“...your circumstances weren’t quite the same as Fluttershy’s. See...well...Fluttershy was lost by accident.”

This confused me. I pulled myself out her grip.

“What do you mean by this? Are you saying that my parents left me on purpose?”

“Well...I’m sure you’re father misses you, but your mother-”

I couldn’t take this. I was shouting at her now.

“You are lying! My mother loves me! I’m going to find her and I’m going to prove you wrong!”

“Ditzy...”

“Don’t call me that! Mommy named me Derpy!”

“Derpy, I’m sorry, but that’s just the way things are, and as much as I want to, as hard as I try I cannot change it. And the other thing difference between your situation and Fluttershy’s is that we have no idea where you were from, so it will be a lot harder to find your parents."

She was right, I had no idea where she was, she could be anywhere in Equestria. However, as I looked at the paper she had on her desk I had an idea.

“The mailpony vists you once a week, doesn’t he? And he goes all around Equestria delivery letters. I’m going to become a mailmare some day, and then I will have to visit you once a week even if I don’t want to you, and I will find my parents! I’ll show you!”

Before Miss Doo could reply I had ran out the door. I ran a short while into the forest, placed my head against a tree, and cried until I couldn’t make a sound, then a lay on the ground in silence. Soon I found another body beside mine, gentling stroking my side. I turned and saw Miss Doo, and then cried again, this time into her sweet mane.

***

We made preparations for the wedding, and soon enough it was the wedding day. I wore the ornamental watch on my right foreleg and was wearing this wedding gown based on some designs Fluttershy made that I had a seamstress make for me. Everything was perfect, Speedy’s family and all of my friends in Ponyville were in attendance, and we had cake, music and everything. It was a fantastic day.

After we were married I could have just lived on Speedy’s income, but I decided I was going to become a mailmare. Then we would have twice as much income, and I could hope to eventually find my parents. I entered training for the post office, and while it took me awhile to get used to the job and I had some difficulties with navigation at times, my determination made me one of the most promising mailponies in training. However, I discovered that I was pregnant, and I had to leave on maternity leave.

The baby ended up being a unicorn filly, and we named her Dinky. I don’t know much about genetics, but Speedy’s father, who I have never meant, is a unicorn, so I guess I could see where she came from. I stayed at home with my daughter for nearly a year, but then I wanted to return to work, and honestly I’m not that good of a mother. My husband and I tried to work out a schedule so that there would always a parent around, planning it so I could train on the weekends and at night so that I could stay with her at school hours until the time were she would have to go to school on her own, but there was still some gaps, and I needed to find a nanny or something for her. I continued to visit Miss Doo, and she cared for Dinky sometimes, but her schedule was too erratic to take care of foals anymore, as she was a lot busier now than it was when she first found me after one of books became popular and there was a greater demand for her potions. Then I met Amethyst Star.

***

I was at the daycare, talking with the mare who run the place and discussing my situation and what arrangements we could make. I had Dinky with me in a foal pouch at my side, and she was eagerly looking around the room with bright eyes. It was there that I met Amethyst.

Amethyst Star is a pretty young unicorn. She is around Fluttershy’s age, has a pink coat, a purple mane, and for some reason has diamonds as a cutie mark even though she prefers animals and children to gems. She was reading a book to a small group of foals at the time, and once she finished the story she headed over to speak with the head. While she was waiting for me to finish speaking she started playing with Dinky. I stopped conversing with the head and turned to the unicorn. She then spoke to me.

“Oh, hello. I’m Amethyst Star, I work here as I love working with small children, and animals. You know, your daughter is a beautiful filly.”

I felt blood rushing into my face. I gently pressed one of my wings against my daughter, holding her against me.

“Oh, she certainly is. I’ve been taking with your boss, trying to figure out how to provide supervision for my daughter while my husband and I are working, and it seems to be a lot more complicated than it ought to be. Can you help me?”

“Sure, I can take of your daughter in the afternoons and weekends as that’s when I don’t have school. Would that work for you?”

I thought about it for a moment, seeing if I could work out my schedule.

“I guess I can make that work, at least for now. ”

We proceeded to work out the the details, and thus it was arranged so that Amethyst would watch over Dinky when I wouldn’t be available for her.

***

Now that I had a nanny I was able to return to training, and soon enough I became a proper member of the mail team, though I could only work in the afternoons and days Amethyst had off until Dinky started school. Now, mail delivery was not the only thing we had to do. At times we had to help with things such as moving and some minor weather duties. I wasn’t as good at these, but I tolerated them.

Dinky Hooves proved to a be an unusual filly. She was somewhat late to speak, but I taught her how to read at a young age, and it helped a great deal. She proved to be very successful academically, and managed to skip a few grades in school, but she had other problems that were similar to my own, but less severe. Amethyst Star became like a big sister to her who Dinky told everything and loved with all her heart. While Amethyst worked with several fillies, she noticed Dinky was a special child and took a special bonding with her, even to the point were it would become customary for them to go to the Sister Hooves Special together. As I’ve said before, Amethyst is an extraordinary unicorn, eventually becoming the Animal Team Leader in the Winter Wrap and making other accomplishments. I really admire that young mare.

As I cared for Dinky with Amethyst Star’s help I was reminded of my own mother. Was it true, the things Miss Doo had said to me? As I thought about it I realized that Miss Doo was more of mother to me than my actual mother ever was. It was under her her care where I finally flourished. I worked hard to make sure that I’d be as good as of a mother as I could, make her reach her full potential as soon as she could, and make sure the same thing wouldn’t happen to her that happened to her that happened to me. I took regular advice from Miss Doo on how to work with Dinky, and it really helped.

Things went on smoothly, without anything particularly extraordinary happening for years. Then things began to change. News was bustling around about how a new Ponyville Chief of Weather was coming in from Cloudsdale, and she was extremely young, having just come out of school and training, which was an extraordinary accomplishment. Soon enough the day came where she came to Ponyville and introduced herself to the weather pegasi, which included the mail pegasi. The moment I saw her I let out a small gasp. There was no way one could mistake that mane.

The new Chief of Weather was none other than Rainbow Dash.

***

The Chief of Weather is given a cloud house to live in as one the benefits for the role. I decided I was going to head over there so that I could speak privately with the one and only Rainbow Dash. The house in the sky was littered with rainbow founts and was modeled after traditional pegasus architecture. As I flew over to it I noticed that there was another pegasus standing on the cloud, outside of the house, talking to a bird. I landed next to Fluttershy and let out a greeting.

“Hello, its been so long since I have seen you!”

The now pretty much fully grown mare shrieked and the bird flew away. She turned to me, and stopped.

“Sorry.”

Just then Rainbow Dash came outside. After she looked around for a moment and saw what was going on she spoke.

“Oh, its just you. Just as long as you don’t break anything you're welcome, but make sure you don’t sneak up on Fluttershy, she doesn’t like being surprised like that.”

Rainbow Dash then motioned for me to follow her inside. After we passed through a few rooms and flew up to the second level we reached another room, Fluttershy following right behind. In the room there was a couch made of clouds. Rainbow Dash proceeded to lie down on it.

“Go ahead, make yourself comfortable.”

Fluttershy walked up next to the couch and sat down.

“Um, Ditzy, I just want to tell you how much I missed you. Oh, I want to come over to you place sometime, that is if you don’t mind. Do you ,uh, still live with Miss Doo?”

“No, I’ve since married Speedy Hooves, only now he is Doctor Whooves, and we live together in a house on Lesser Manestreet that we bought. And yes, of course I wouldn’t mind if you came over. Now, Rainbow Dash, how did you manage to get the role here?”

Rainbow Dash let out a small laugh.

“Ha, that was easy. I’m just the best flier in Equestria, and soon I’ll be a wonderbolt. Now, as for why I chose this role, it’s all because of Fluttershy. She kept telling me about her desire to come back to Ponyville, to return to the surface with the animals, but she isn’t able to get a home here herself and I don’t think she is going to be able to live on her own for awhile.”

As Rainbow said that Fluttershy’s face turned red and she stared at floor.

“Anyway, Fluttershy had moved in with me not too long ago back while we were in Cloudsdale. I saw that the position for Chief of Weather was open in Ponyville, and I decided I would accept it for Fluttershy, having to put off my dream of becoming a Wonderbolt for awhile. Sheesh.”

Fluttershy spoke under her breath. Rainbow didn’t appear to hear it, but I did.

“Oh, I wish I wasn’t such a burden.”

The young mare just broke my heart. Somehow, I just knew exactly how she felt, for as she said it I was reminded of the real reason why I insisted on being a mailmare, one that I didn’t even realize myself. I wanted to be useful, not just cute and clumbly Ditzy. I wanted nothing more than to just tell her how I loved her, but I just felt it wasn’t the right time. So I just waited as Rainbow drove the conversation along, until at last it I decided I was going to leave. I said goodbye, then walked up to Fluttershy and whispered in her ear.

“You aren’t a burden, you mean so much more to us than we can describe. I still love you now, and Rainbow Dash certainly does too.”

As Fluttershy blushed once again I had to head off.

***

I spent time with Fluttershy, but not nearly as much as when she actually lived with me. Fluttershy began to slowly make other friends with some other ponies, with a little bit of prodding. For example, she met Rarity, a unicorn who like Amethyst has diamonds for a cutie mark, only her mark actually makes sense, who was seamstress and fashion designer. With some encouraging from Rainbow Dash Fluttershy managed to strike up an awkward conversation with her, and after Fluttershy learned about their mutual interest their friendship started to blossom.

I had learned about this whole exchange after I noticed Fluttershy with Rarity and asked Rainbow Dash about it. Rainbow’s relation with Fluttershy reminded a lot of my own relationship with my husband. Someone who is always there for us, with a shoulder to cry on. Someone who was a bit tougher than us, helping us navigate through this strange world of other ponies which is too scary for us to go through alone. It’s a cruel world, but a beautiful one, especially when you have someone who loves you to share it with.

Fluttershy’s talent with animals is extraordinary. While she doesn’t seem to get along too well with other ponies, she just clicks with animals and communicates with them on a different level. As much as I admired Amethyst Star, Fluttershy was better with animals than her, but due to her lack of leadership skills she wouldn’t be a good Animal Team Leader for Winter Wrap Up, and thus Amethyst Star kept her role as Animal Team Leader while Fluttershy was just another worker, albeit the best of them.

The most notable thing that Fluttershy managed to set up was her bird choir. She had trained the birds to sing so well that they were beginning to reach a small amount of fame across Equestria. Fluttershy was too shy to perform in public on her own, but she had no problem with performing with them as a part of a larger event. She couldn’t find out a way to make any money from it, but in many ways she made Ponyville a better community than many activity working ponies and more social ponies with all the small things she did, especially her help with the animals, and by just being herself.

Fluttershy and I continued to visit Miss Doo together, on separate occasions than when I visited with my family. We loved our godmother, and enjoyed visiting her, so we made regular visits, until...until...it happened.

***

I going to take a break for a while. I know need to tell this part to give the whole story, but just thinking about it pains me. Oh, I only wish I could change the past.

Part 5: Spectrum

I was sorting mail when I received the news. Raindrops, a coworker of mine, handed me a letter.

“It’s for you. It from Blue Rose. She said it was urgent and to get it to you as soon as possible.”

After Miss Doo had became more famous she set up her own little shop inside Ponyville instead of just selling her potions to be resold at larger shops. She had hired Blue Rose to watch over the shop, but she checked in and made sure everything ran smoothly every morning. I stopped what I was doing, took the letter, and opened it. A second letter inside of it fell to the ground, but I ignored it for now.

Derpy Hooves

Mary Doo did not show up this morning without any warning. I stopped by her home and found lying unconscious in the middle of the room. She has a deep puncture wound in her side, which she appears to have slapped some ointment on. Lying next to her was a note which is addressed to you. Please come quick.

Blue Rose

As I finished the letter I dropped it, overcome with worry. After I recovered from the initial emotional blow I scrambled on the floor, searching for the other letter. At last I found it, and as I read it, I was put into a state of even deeper emotional shock.

To Derpy Hooves

Im dyng, was stug by manidcor, sedatd myslf so I cn lst lon enogh for yu to com, vison fading, dont wory, stoped poson frm spredin but damag alredy don, orgns faling, com quckly so I can say godby and arnge fr futr, lv yo

Ms D

As I looked over it I was confused by what it said, I could barely make out the slurred handwriting, but I knew it wasn’t good. I was shaking now, and I found myself unable to speak, so I grabbed a pen and scribbled out a note, taking care to properly form the letters in my disturbed state.

I have to leave now. Forward these messages to Fluttershy, she lives with Rainbow Dash, and my husband.

I picked up the original message from Blue Rose and passed both the letters and the note to Raindrops. She looked over the note, then spoke to me.

“I’ll tell our boss where you went. You may leave now, I’ll deliver these to Fluttershy as soon as I can.”

I nodded my head, then headed off. I did not have much time.

***

As I flew through the air thoughts rushed through my mind. What was going on? Would I
make it in time? Was everything going to be alright. I just felt an incredible sick feeling building up within me, making flying all the more difficult. However, I could not stop, I had to make it to Miss Doo’s cottage. After what seemed like many hours, though I’m sure it wasn’t nearly that long I arrived. Standing outside was a young, blue unicorn mare with an azure mane, waiting for me.

“Derpy, it’s worse than I thought. Mary Doo has awoken, and she told me what happened. She-”

At that moment a hoarse, guttural voice cut Blue Rose off. It took me a moment to realize that this was Miss Doo who was speaking.

“Let me speak for myself, I’m not dead yet. Bring her in.”

This was then followed by a wave of thick coughing, more of a course hacking than a cough for a cold. Again the sickening feeling returned to me. As I walked inside Blue Rose led me upstairs, where I found Miss Doo. She was lying on her side on the bed with blood stained bandages wrapped around her side. Next to her was a bowl filled with a mixture of blood, saliva, and phlegm. I felt like throwing up now, I could feel myself shaking. As hard as it was, I managed to force out a few words.

“M-miss, are y-you a-all r-rgiht?”

“Ditzy, I’m dying.”

A lump formed in my throat. There was going to be no conversing on my side for awhile.

“I’m sorry, I was careless, and I was stung by manticore while I was trying to harvest poison from its stinger. I thought it was dead. I managed to stop the poison from spreading, but the damage was already done. I then sedated myself-”

She stopped to let out another violent burst of coughing. After she took control of herself she continued.

“-in order to slow down my bodily functions so I would last longer. Ditzy, my hours are now numbered, and we need to wrap up a few things before I die...”

Her eyes were now watering, and I felt streams riveting down my own face. This couldn’t be happening.

“N-now, first we need to settle some items of business. Blue Rose is going to take over the business, but I’m not sure what we are going to do with this cottage. I guess we are going to have to clean this place up, s-so it may be sold, so..”

At last I had found my voice again, and I cut her off.

“No, th-this can’t be happening! I can’t just let you give up like this! Remember what you told me all those years ago? I can do hard things! Y-you can do hard things to, you can
do hard things too! You can overcome this injury, I know you can, if you try..try...ch-try...I’ll change your b-bandages, g-give you medicine...”

“I’m sorry, but there is no cure for such an injury. The manticore’s venom has entered my organ cavity, corroded my flesh and slowly I am dying from hemorrhaging. Even as I speak blood is accumulating in my lungs. This is the end...”

I couldn’t take it anymore. Now I was just sobbing into Miss Doo’s bed. Eventually I ran out of energy and stopped, at which point she started speaking again.

“Ditzy, there is something I want to show you.”

With effort she managed to hoist herself up, and she grabbed a manuscript from her bedside table. As she handed to me I realized that I recognized it. It was what I had written all of those years ago with her help, to explain where I had come from.

“Take this, it’s yours. You keep telling me how you want to find your parents, and this has all of the information I know of them. I hope you will be able to fulfill your dream one day.”

She let out a low sigh, and then a groan. I just stared at the pages in my hooves.

“All these years gone by...you know, you became like a daughter to me, the daughter I could never have. After all we have been through... Now that the end is here all I want from you is to remember all the good times we had together, not too long for me now that I’m gone. I just want for you to happy. I love you, Ditzy Doo, or Derpy Hooves, or, simply put, Sweetie.”

Somehow the dying mare managed to make out a smile.

***

Time flowed by as I sat on the roof, alone with my emotions. I heard Fluttershy come and heard her weeping, heard how my husband arrived with my daughter and heard how he struggled to explain that Granny Doo was dying to an emotionally sensitive filly who knew all too well what death was, I heard Mrs. Hooves arrive and lament how she should have spent more time with her sister and now it was too late, heard Blue Rose bringing in water, but I just sat in silence. That is the way I mourn. Finally I decided it be best for me to return to my Godmother, as I ought to be by her side as she died. I flew down from the roof and rejoined the family and friends by Mary Doo’s bedside.

The final arrangements were being made. Fluttershy was going to inherit the house, though at the moment she had no desire due to her emotional state and didn’t believe she would be able to take of a household on her own, without Rainbow’s help. We reminded her that we would always be there for her if she needed help. She gave Miss Ditzy to Dinky. Blue Rose was given all of the books so that after she read them she might be able to take up potion making so Mary Doo’s business could be continued. We were all gathered around her now, and the last thing she did was command Blue Rose to mix up one final final potion for her.

“Thank you, Blue Rose. Now, I want you to take Dinky out of the room. Now.”

Blue Rose protested.

“Why must she leave now? How are things any different?”

“I said take her out no-AHH!”

As Miss Doo let out a gasp of pain Blue Rose complied and took Dinky out of the room. I was now confused.

“Wait a minute, if she just administered painkiller to you, than why are screaming in pain now?”

“Ditzy, that was no painkiller, it was, ARG, poison. Now that we, OH, settled everything, there is no reason...reason to..to lengthen the pain for me or anyone else he...eere...Go..oood....by...Sweetie..”

Her voice slurred and breathing became more difficult and her eyes rolled back. She let out a few last pained breathes, then she stopped. At last my greatest hero was dead. I ran out of the room and flew back up onto roof.

***

Time went one. It always marches on, no matter what hell you are going through. I went back to delivering mail, only now I always had the manuscript with me, hoping that I might be able to find someone who could interpret it and help me on my quest. Blue Rose started frantically reading the works of the now deceased Mary Doo so should could be her successor, only releasing that she prepared poison when she came across a certain recipe in her studies. Fluttershy now lived in the cottage with her animal friends, though it took her awhile to get settled in with the knowledge of what happened there, and she is still just as unemployed as she was when she was living with Rainbow Dash.

Besides those few things not much changed. Life went more or less back to normal, except now there was a gaping hole in my life, and in my heart. Everything returned to its monotonous routine, and I feared it would now remain this way forever. Then some extraordinary news came in. Ponyville had been selected to host the Summer Sun Celebration.

***

Fluttershy’s bird choir had been selected to provide music for the ceremonies. She was overjoyed at having been selected for such an honor. The yellow filly had gone far from the timid thing that fell from the sky so long ago, and I admit I was proud of her. In a way she was like a little sister to me. I had helped Fluttershy in her time of greatest need, and now she was chosen for an incredible honor in a great ceremony.

A unicorn named Twilight Sparkle was sent in from Canterlot to oversee the preparations for the ceremony. Soon enough she checked over everything, including Fluttershy’s bird choir. After she was done she retreated into a library which had been set up as a house for her.

I’m sure you all know what happened next. We were all at the celebration, Nightmare Moon came, then Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Apple Jack defeated Nightmare Moon and became heros. Luna was restored, and Twilight was here to stay. I was still just Derpy, mailmare with no past or future.

***

Fluttershy began to hang out with me less and less as she became further pulled into that new circle that formed around Twilight. That group had mystic air around them, an air that almost seemed like a strange pony such as myself ought to be a part of, but for some reason unknown to me fate said I was not to be part of it, I was just meant to be unusual, but boring old Derpy Hooves.

I still kept that narrative with me, but I now felt there was no purpose in having it. I didn’t even knew who I truly was, and I figured I’d never learn the truth. I was just destined to be a nobody.

As I was in my darkest hour I finally came to my first lead.

***

I was delivering a letter to a “Ms. Ruby Shine ” in a town known as Fetlockington. The town is a fair distance away, but it wasn’t too far. Fetlockington is a small town, smaller than Ponyville. There usually wasn’t much business in Fetlockington, it was a pretty quiet town and I had only been there once or twice before.

Ruby Shine lived in an ordinary house in the middle of the town. As it so happened, she was there when I delivered the letter. I used to try to come when the people were there, so I could try to see if they knew my past, but at this point I no longer cared. However, this mare thought differently. As I placed a letter into her mailbox and prepared to take off a red mare called out from inside the house.

“Wait a minute! I swear I recognize you. I could never forget those eyes!”
As I turned to the mare I took her in I realized that there was something almost familiar about her, though it was from a time long past, before I came to Ponyville.

“Wait, where do you know me from?”

“I swear I saw you a long time ago, when I was at the hospital because I broke my hind leg. You were one of the other fillies there, and though you didn’t say anything, we played together. I wanted to be with you longer, but then you had to go home, and then I tried to find you, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t! I remembered you had those crossed yellow eyes, and in all the years since I’ve never seen another pony with those eyes, especially one with the exact same mane and coat as you! Come on and talk with me inside!”

I finally had lead onto my past. Maybe I was finally going to learn who I was.

***

While Ruby Shine served tea I retrieved the narrative now known as Bubbles and shared it with her. She read over it, but in the end she couldn’t help me anymore than confirming that we did indeed meet each other at the time I was in the hospital after eating the muffins, and we came to the conclusion that I was probably from Fetlockington. She wished me luck, then I went on my way, not realizing that I left the manuscript behind.

***

I managed to arrange so that I would become the primary mail carrier for Fetlockington, but other then that things did not change much. However, my spirits were now renewed. I now felt I could finally actually have a chance of finding my parents, as I knew they probably dwelt somewhere within Fetlockington. Once again my spirits gradually began to die down as time past, and then once again not much happened, except for the time I managed get into the Young Fliers Competition.

The contest is mainly targeted towards teenagers and young adults, but I managed to convince them to let me join. I look a lot younger than my actual age, whatever that is, it’s always been a trait of mine. I decided I was going to enter after I learned that Rainbow Dash was going to enter and Fluttershy would therefore be watching.

Soon enough it was time for the actual contest, where I was given 15th placement for the order of performance, which meant I’d perform last. Somehow Rarity managed to sneak into the competition at the last minute even though she wasn’t registered and isn’t even a pegasus. Somehow she had a pair of magic butterfly wings, and she was dressed...elaborately...like a mare in a....less than desirable situation.

While I was waiting for my performance Rainbow Dash told me to switch places with her. I didn’t understand why she wanted me to do this, but as it was Rainbow Dash I agreed. As I used to be the final contestant this made Rainbow Dash become the new final contestant, and since the contest was only supposed to have 15 contestants, and Rarity snuck in she was thrown in together with Rainbow Dash. I guess Rarity was distracting Rainbow, as Dash wasn’t performing as well as she should have. Then Rarity’s wings disintegrated.

As Rarity fell, Rainbow Dash dived, and sure enough she managed to pull a second Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow Dash had just saved Rarity’s life, and as I heard Fluttershy cheer I saw a new side to Rainbow Dash. Not only was she a tough pony, but she was also loyal and dependable, a real hero when she needs to be. Her cutie mark is probably the most unusual one I have ever seen, a cloud with a lightning bolt coming out of it. However, that lightning bolt has a rainbow consisting of only the three primary colors on it, not a spectrum like a proper rainbow. I’ve been thinking about the meaning of that cutie mark, and I still have yet to discover what it means. Maybe those three primary colors imply an entire spectrum, but even then it’s still just as mysterious.

Fluttershy’s cheers reminded me of something else. As Rainbow Dash was declared the winner I was reminded that I was only a secondary friend, Rainbow Dash was her first and best friend. I was just Derpy. Sealing the rift that was growing between Fluttershy and I would be hard.

Then I remembered something. I could do hard things, if I tried. I had to try to speak to talk, I had to flap to fly, and I have to go to Fetlockington to find my parents. I needed to go try and fix things myself to heal this relationship, and I might as well do it now. I approached Fluttershy, and then spoke to her.

“Fluttershy, we haven’t been seeing each other as much lately, ever since Twilight came we have been seeing each other less and less. I admit I am no Rainbow Dash, I’m just Derpy Hooves known as Ditzy Doo, no one special, I’m lucky to have been with you. I-I missed you. Have you forgotten me?

“Oh Ditzy, you are like a big sister to me, I could never forget you. Just because I now have more friends, more than I’d ever thought a filly like me could hope to have, doesn’t mean I have to give you up. In fact I’ve...Oh nevermind...I just want to tell you I missed you too.”

We then embraced, and I knew that I had the power to make sure everything could still be alright.

***

At last it happened. I was just delivering mail as usual, not expecting for it to happen, but it actually did. I was in Fetlockington, and on that day I had to make the deliveries in the middle of a storm. As was heading out of the town after I dropped off all of the letters I saw her. There at the outskirts of the town was a yellow pegasus mare. She was just sitting out there in the rain, seeming to relish in her own misery. Her mane yellow as well, but it was slowly turning grey and white. I knew who that mare was.

“Mommy?”

“Derpy? This.... this... cannot be. You were dead. I killed you! I...I do not deserve you! Maybe I’m dreaming..... are you just a drug induced.....apparition...or are you a....ghost? Maybe I’ve finally died...wait...is that a....mailbag on your back? And you’re...big. If you were dead you wouldn’t be big...with a mailbag..“

Her voice was slurred, probably a result of being intoxicated, or maybe she was only half awake. I was too shocked to respond. Slowly she approached me, wobbling as she advanced.

“So you remain...mute even now. I don’t care anymore! I’ll endure all the....messes you made if only....if only... I could have my...my old life back! Oh, but it’s too late now. Now you are grown, Thunder left me after he discovered what I had done....I’d give anything to turn back...those wheels...learn to appreciate what I had...for what it was...I thought you were my only problem...now I know...you were my only joy....you survived?”

I was now more confused than shocked.

“Yes, I survived. And not only that, but I’ve learned so much. You hear me speaking, but now I can also fly! This pouch on my back, I have it because I’m mailmare now. I’m married, I have a beautiful daughter. I’m so much more than I was the last time you saw me. I’ve been looking for all of these years, just so I could show you how far I have come.”

She was now appearing to be a bit more sober, or at least awake, now that she heard my voice.

“Oh Celestia, this why you haven’t let me die! I tried time and time again to take my pathetic life! I’ve swallowed every pill and poison I could find, only to find myself waking up at the hospital every time. I’ve drunken myself half to death, but still I live on, so that I may see you again. And now you have returned. Don’t you realize I’ve beaten you, poisoned you, abandoned you? Why do you return?”

“Because I love you, even after all you have done, I still wanted to come back to you, show you how much more I am now, so you would be proud of me, to prove I’m not a retard! I came back because I loved you with all my heart! I loved too much to even realize what you had done to me!”

“ Even now, now that you know what I’ve done? Oh Derpy, will you forgive me?”

Could I forgive some who tried to kill me? Of course, if not I would have come all this for nothing. She was depressed, and taking care of me was stressful. I could understand why she did what she did, and she realized what she did was incredibly wrong. I found myself holding my mother as she cried onto my shoulder.

As I held my unstable mother in my arms, I began to wonder, what would I be worth if I really was just the retarded pony they thought I was? What would I be worth? Then I finally realized something. When Speedy meant I was beautiful just the I was, he meant just the way I was, I never needed to change for nopony. Ms. Doo took me in before she learned about my full potential, and my father had always loved me. He could have found a way to make things work without my mother. I really never needed to prove anything to anyone, I would have been loved no matter what, but I did it anyway.

***

I managed to get my mother, who I learned was named Sunshine, to seek help. I explained to my husband what happened, so he had no problems went I went off on my on to visit my mother. While she was recovering I learned that my father’s name was Thunder Hooves, and through a combination of her help and looking through the files at the post office I managed to locate him, and together we approached him. He saw my mother first, and was furious.

“I thought I told you that I never wanted to see you again! After all you have taken from, you have the nerves to come back-”

At this point I stepped forward and cut him off.

“Daddy, she only returned because I did. “

“Sweetie, is that you?”

The great grey stallion burst in tears.

”Yes, it is. All I wanted was for us to all be together again! You were going to teach my how to fly. I was going to learn to fly. It has always been my dream that once I learned to fly, we, and by we I mean all of us, would fly up to the rainbows, and there I would tell you the colors, show you all that I have learned. Well, now I have learned how to fly, and now I want to make that dream a reality. I...I just want us to all be happy again.”

At that point I noticed that there was yellow doll on a set of shelves behind him. After of all those years he had kept Miss Sweetie.

***

We were sitting on a cloud in Greater Cloudsdale, just my mother, father, and I. Hanging over us was a rainbow, and to me it seemed like the most beautiful rainbow that Equestria had ever seen.

“You know, I’ve always loved rainbows. One of my earliest memories is learning the basic colors of rainbow. I knew the five basic colors: red, yellow, green, blue, and purple. I also knew of slightly more complex colors like orange and pink. However, does aren’t even all the colors in the rainbow. Between all the colors there is an infinite amount of other colors, and the color spectrum extends even beyond the rainbow. Pink isn’t on the rainbow, but it is still a color.

Now, I’ve been thinking, maybe ponies are like colors too. Maybe there is a spectrum for ponies as well. After all, the shades of our coats and eyes are all different colors, but are personalities go so much farther too. There are yellows, but there are also brighter yellows, lighter yellows, and yellows that are more red. Orange is somehow both yellow and red. And then there is the complementary colors, colors that are opposites, but look so nice together. I’ve been thinking about things lately.

There is this other filly, and she sort of reminds me of my self, but she is different. Maybe we are both shades of green, but one of us is brighter, one is lighter, maybe I’m closer to blue and she is closer to yellow. Anyway, there's this other pony, and she contrasts so well with Fluttershy, but not so well with me. Maybe she is a shade of reddish purple. I mean, she isn’t actually reddish purple, she is actually azure, with the entire rainbow in her mane, and I’m grey, but the other filly actually is yellow...”

“I understand what you are saying.”

My father grabbed me tight. After all these years we were finally together, flying in the sky, discussing the colors of the rainbow that lay before us.

***

I am sitting my study, looking down at all the papers in front from me. Next to the papers is a half-eaten muffin. Outside I see my daughter playing with her grandparents while Fluttershy has her bird choir playing and Rainbow Dash watches from a cloud. Behind me are two yellow dolls whose names both start with Miss. I’m wearing a mail pouch across my back. The walls are just coated with clocks. A rainbow adorns the sky. Life is good.

I can safely say that I have now finally told the full story behind that narrative that is now called “Bubbles”, but the story of my life is far from over. Life never stops. It doesn’t have a central plot or core themes, but it does have events, stories, and subtle morales if we look hard in the world around us. We have hopes and dreams, and if we work hard enough, we can fulfill them, then moving onto new dreams as we take. And I learned all of this because of one pony, Mary Doo. She taught me that I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I was once thought to be nothing except a stupid burden by my own mother, but I have become so much more. I became wife, a mailmare, a hero. I learned to read. I learned to speak. I learned to fly.

THE END

Author's Note

Hello everyone. It's now been nearly a year since I wrote to story, and it's time for me to explain how it came to be. You are probably wondering while of all times I decided to release this now. The thing is, I actually meant to release an explanation much earlier to match with a certain "holiday", but I missed the date so now I had to wait an entire year. You see, today is April 2nd, World Autism Awareness Day. I tried to get this story finished within the month of April as that is Autism Awareness month, but it took a bit longer then I expected. See, I got the idea for this story immediately after I read Bubbles, thinking "Well, what if the Derpy in Bubbles actually isn't mentally retarded?" I've heard many stories about autistic individuals who didn't learn to speak until later in life and still proved to be rather intelligent, which is what I modeled my character for Derpy on. After reading the alternative ending listed on Equestria Daily I began to formulate my own ideas about what happened afterwards. I started making connections, ideas fell into place and the story grew in my head, and I soon I started writing it, just for fun. I think this was back in October, and I didn't get very far. It wasn't until I read another fanfiction about Derpy in March(?) that I remembered was motivated to continue. I then looked up when autism awareness day or month was and noticed it was rapidly approaching, and I decided I could use this story for it. I made this story to demonstrate some aspects of autism, and I interpreted Fluttershy as having mild Aspergers and severe social anxiety to further explore it. I wanted this story to give another perspective of autism for the whole autism awareness thing, showing autistic people as while having flaws are a human part of our society, not just a problem to be fixed. My story certainly doesn't represent every person autism (or maybe not anyone with autism, not exactly). I have AS myself, so I may be biased. I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish the story by Autism Awareness Day, so I broke it up into chapters, but I still didn't manage to finish the first chapter until a day too late. Anyway, while that's my original purpose for this story besides just writing it for fun, in the end it became just one theme of my story, there are many other more universal themes I've included. It's a story about preservation, becoming something more than you were, the help we need from others, and of many types of love. Providing a story that would touch all of my readers in some way became my purpose while writing it.

Here is some are some people who I want to acknowledge. First off, I need to thank Lauren Faust and the rest of the development team for making this amazing show and it's amazing characters (I swear that with Lesson Zero someone had Aspergers in mind for writing Twilight), Vcyrusvale for making Bubbles, the gut-wrenching fanfic this is a spinoff of, Bowtar, whose fan-sequel Raindrops and Cloudbubbles served as inspiration to my own story (guess I might as well thank RizCifra for making this, which inspired Bowtar, anyway her artwork is adorable and heart-wrenching, I don't think any artist pony artist has had as much of an emotional impact on me just through her drawing and animation than her), Clavdis Ceasar, whose Derpy's Dismally Derpy Day inspired me to actually continue writing my story months after I started. I didn't even have the first chapter finished before then, and soon afterward I had the first and second chapter. He also inspired the interpretation of Derpy's cutie mark in this story, so incase it still doesn't make any sense to you you should check his story out, and you should check his story out anyway as it's cute and very good. Finally I need to thank you, the readers, for motivating me to actually finish this story. I remember that after I submitted the story and I got the approval message I took a shower, and after I was done I found my inbox to be flooded with new emails and I was just shocked that people actually liked the crap I wrote. Last time I checked I saw the story had over 200 up votes, 300 favorites, and 3000 views, which is A LOT more than I could have ever hoped for, and knowing that people even read my story makes me very happy even though I'm a terrible writer. There was one comment where someone described just how they related with the story on a personal level, and that in turn touched me. So, once again, thanks everyone!

Believe it or not this song had absolutely no influence on my story, I didn't even hear of the ong but it does fit really well and is a pretty sweet song. It may indirectly influenced the title of this story, and Dave Grohl is awesome, so credits to the Foo Fighters.

I also think this song goes along well with this story. Not the same story, but it's still an awesome song. Tarby is best pony.

Finally, I also have a spin-off in the works. I'm afraid it's not Derpy, but I tried to write something similar. It can be found here.

Bonus: Colored Leaves

The wind was blowing through the autumn trees, picking up golden leaves and scattering them like glitter on a card, all the while leaving a storm as beautiful as a candle flame. Sitting underneath an oak was a fair gray pegasus. Her youthful appearance disguised her true age, which was evidenced by the second figure. Huddled against Derpy Hooves was a smaller pony, a unicorn filly. Her pale lavender coat and spiked straw mane were reminiscent of her mother. Both their eyes were transfixed on single orange leaf which waltzed slowly to the ground. Finally Dinky Hooves spoke.

"Mommy, why aren't you running this year?"

Derpy blinked, carefully formulating her reply. She could just say she didn't feel like it, which was the truth, but she felt there was more to it than that. As she thought the leaf continued to dance back and forth, bounced up by each gush out of the wind. At last she came up with an explanation and brought it out without taking her gaze off the leaf.

"You see that leaf?"

"Yeah."

"Well, do you remember when it was green?"

Dinky stalled and scrunched her nose, confused at the question.

"Well, I don't know. I'm not sure if I've ever seen that leaf before."

Derpy closed her eyes. She knew she would have probably have ended up thinking the same thing.

"Okay, do you remember when most the leaves were green?"

This clarification of the question did little to unscrunch Dinky's face.

"Yeah, of course I do."

Derpy took in a deep breath and continued.

"Well, the leaves were green for most of the year, working hard to help the trees. Eventually they get tired and have to stop to rest for the winter. However, the leaves decided to change up the change of pace for a season. They decide to turn from green to brown, yellow, orange and red. "

Dinky watched as the leaf they were following hit the ground and then her gaze moved to a second one.

"I remember Cheerilee talking about something like that once, but mom, you still haven't answered my question."

"Well, I feel like I'm a leaf. I've been running with the leaves for years, and this time I want to try some different."

Derpy then let out a small chuckle.

"Besides, Celestia has the leaves change so that the ponies can enjoy their beauty, and I want to see what the leaves look like from this perspective, where I can get a better view."

Derpy then turned away from the falling leaves for a second to look at her daughter. Her beautiful daughter. She was now surrounded by a light layer of leaves which served to gild the foal. The unicorn stood out like an amethyst in a pool of gold. Derpy couldn't help, but smile, especially after she heard what her daughter said next.

"The leaves are pretty. I'm glad you can see them, you're pretty too."

Derpy pulled Dinky closer and snuggled her, but the foal pushed out of her grasp. After a moment of silence Dinky spoke again, only this time it was more of a mumble.

"Today a colt tripped me. He then called me a retard and said that you should never have been allowed to marry daddy. Why did he say that? Why did he do that to me? Why must I be different?"

This stopped Derpy cold. This rendered her speechless. Not just because she didn't know what to say, but because she couldn't speak at all. She felt too awful, this dragging pull at her core tearing her down. She remembered what it was like all those years ago, what they said and did to her. She also remembered what it was like, to not be able to speak. How hard it once was to move her mouth to form the consonants and vowels, and even harder to push air through her throat without shrieking.

It hurt. She thought she had killed these demons when she had found her mother, but they were here to stay. All she could do was follow the leaves as she brooded. And follow the leaves she did. She traced their every movement, and calculated their next one. Through the movements of the leaves she could practically see the very wind itself. Soon enough she was able to calm herself down, and then she managed to once again use to leaves to formulated a metaphor.

"You..said...the leaves...are pretty."

She then picked an yellow-brown leaf with her wing.

"Do you....think this leaf...is pretty?"

Dinky thought for a second.

"Well, yes, but it looked prettier when it was moving around with the other leaves."

Derpy then crushed the leaf into dust before Ditzy's eyes. She imagined it was the bully, but that's not what it was going to be in the metaphor.

"It's also very fragile. Not everyone can sees the leaf's beauty. They might also hate it because it does not provide for the trees in the way that they did when they were green. They might take advantage of the leaves fragility and destroy it because they cannot comprehend its true purpose, its real beauty."

Derpy then picked up a deep orange leaf.

"But just because he can't see it's purpose doesn't mean it doesn't have one. Look at this leaf."

She then gestured out to the following leaves surrounding them."

"Now look at the forest. Isn't it beautiful? Even if the leaf doesn't know where it belongs in the forest it still has it's purpose. The forest needs the leaf to be beautiful. Dinky, that bully might not be able to see it, but I want you to know that you are the most beautiful leaf in the entire forest, and you are important."

Dinky stared at her mother for a moment, than blurted out "You're wrong." With that she levitated the leaf out of the perplexed mail mare's hoof and placed it behind the older pony's ear.

"You are the most beautiful leaf in the forest."

And with that Dinky cuddled up to her mother's side. Together they stayed and watched until the last leaf fell down.

Author's Note

I was just looking back at my story today to check on it's statistics and I noticed that the author's note chapter was unpublished. I had that written because I was planning that chapter before the chapter notes feature was added, and I forgot to delete the chapter when I finally released the author's notes on April 2nd. Before I released what I was doing I hit the publish button because I thought somehow I forgot to publish the chapter, but then I remembered what I did and unpublished chapter. I then checked the main page and noticed that too my horror that story was bumped to the top of recently updated storied when I didn't actually add anything. I know this is against the rules, this is an accident, please don't delete my story!

As a consolation for my stupidity, I'll write a little random anecdote off of the top of my head.

Also, I'm adding this at the suggestion of a commenter. Considering it's about Derpy it fits surprisingly well.