Pon Pon Pata Pony!

by KillJoy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3094

[Pata Pata Pata Pon] - Onward - We march together side by side ready with a trot. What lies ahead is unknown but with friendship we shall overcome.

PATA PON DON CHAKA

These are the beats we live by. These are the beats we follow. And these are the beats of our Tribe……..Or what's left of it. Join the adventure as YOU take the pledge of being a Patapony.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-07 19:54:02 UTC

Take The Pledge

------ The Hero's Pledge ------

The Pataponies are in need. I take the form of Uberhero, so that I may guide them to their rightful destiny.

As it has been time and time before, I brandish my holy drum and will only use it for good. To help the ponies save this endangered Equestria.

Whatever challenges await us. Whatever danger befalls us, I shall call upon my allies and never abandon the fight.

I shall not stray from my goal even in the face of death or great peril. Even at the moments of weakness, I will keep the beat and feel the rhythm of Equestria.

From this point onward, I promise to keep my pledge and take this drum of courage and be the Mighty Leader I was meant to be.

----- This is my pledge -----

Who You Are

Slowly awakening from your slumber, you were instantly greeted with a blinding bright light. Surely something seemingly as holy as this couldn't possibly be evil, right?

You silently curse at the light which first had pierced through your eyelids being the complete reason at why you were now awake. From a distance a voice was heard, yet nothing of pony kind as well as to mention, anything of Equestrian race could have been seen for miles to come. It was only you and the more recognizable midnight blue light.

" Huzzah! You are the Mighty Patapony are you not? What be your name?" A feminine voice echoed polluting the silence. You had found it a bother that you have not only been almost blinded, but now you were almost deafened from the bellowing voice. To ease your conscience, you reply hoping that the being would leave you be.

Honestly, all you wanted was to rid yourself of this annoyance  and dragging along this conversation was not the way. With near to no emotion, you tell her your name. " Uber."

" Uber! Huzzah! " The voice cheered your name with a thunderous roar causing your sensitive ears to ring. " Of truth, I know not, but of fate I shall speak! Your arrival was meant to be as the fate of Equestria depends on a Patapony hero, you!"

Ears sent ringing again, she apologized and slowly took her leave. " The choice is yours," the blinding light said fading away as it was soon replaced by three more: Pink, Cyan and Purple. Out of sheer curiosity, you only trot to further investigate and realize that the light being emitted were from pony figures each of a different race: Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus respectively with a cannon, a staff and a lance.

The pink one being to spot you first called you out," Hiya! Oooo pick me! Pick me! I'm an Earth Patapony with all sorts of neat tricks! I'm not really the one to fight but with my endur-- endurah-- Uhm, what was that word again Twi?" The pink mare questioned the purple with a sheepish smile.

" Endurance Pinkie," the lavender figure said with a sigh. Well, that made sense her name being Pinkie. You then direct your attention to the purple one as she informed you of the basic fundamentals of her class. " Earth ponies like Pinkie Pie have great stamina and power making up for their lack of wings and magic."

" And don't forget your cannon! I never leave home without my party cannon!" The pink figure exclaimed hugging her weapon. You couldn't help but stifle a chuckle seeing how overjoyed she was with her massive firearm. Redirecting your attention the purple one now, you are in need of some introductions and details. " And you are?"

" My name is Twilight Sparkle of the Unicorn Patapony. We may lack in power and speed but, supporting our comrades is what we do best with our magic. May it be healing, a temporary boost or even a thunderstorm! You name it and we shall cast it."

You place a hoof under your chin intrigued by hearing the ability to cast a thunderstorm. Yet,  the sole  idea of studying and mastering spells for long hours doesn't quite appeal to you. Moving on, you now stare at the cyan colored pegasi figure.

" Name's Rainbow Dash! Pegasi are all about speed and offense. Clearing out the enemies at the front are too easy for us." Hearing this now, you weren't too sure as your mind raced with three options each having a major advantage and disadvantage. ' Being at the front? I don't want to be the first to die, yet again, being at the back isn't the way I would like to go either, and studying? Yeah, that really isn't my thing.' Looking at the pink pony and with a final thought, it was decided,' Now being an Earth Patapony! That's a challenge! Strength, endurance and a cannon?!' That race had suited you perfectly! Not too risky, not too boring as well as you were sold at the idea of getting a free cannon.

Touching the vibrant pink Patapony, you had sealed your fate. The bright midnight blue light returned once again consuming the area as the other two disappeared. " There is no turning back now. One soul with one name, you shall remain as Uber. Now go forth my child and learn the beats of our ancestors. Pray thee you do not forget." She wished you off disappearing once again into the darkness.

Alone in the dark, you patiently await for something to happen. ' Oh look! Another blue light! How fascinating!' You think to yourself sarcastically as yet another pony form approaches you in an electric blue color.

" Yo, my name is Vinyl Scratch, or just the spirit of Pon will do." She introduced herself kindly as yet another grey mare approached her with a more vexed tone.

Grabbing the electric blue pony, she violently shook the life out of her while inserting a scold here and there." We told you to wait Vinyl! We are all supposed to help together! Couldn't you just wait on Lyra?!" Clearing your throat, you disrupted the scolding attracting the attention of the grey one who had no choice but to release her acquaintance. " I am sorry you had to see that," she apologized," I just like things to be in order unlike some ponies!"

" Yeah yeah, so what Octavia? You're just pissed because you're last and I'm supposed to be first," Vinyl smiled smugly.

With an unrelenting sigh, Octavia gave up with the argument and continued with your conversation." As I was saying, my name is Octavia Philharmonica, rather known as the spirit of Don. It is a pleasure to work with you Uber."

Willingly, you smile at her pleasantries accepting her as an acquaintance. Opening your mouth to introduce yourself properly, your track of thought had been disrupted as your ears twitched picking up on the sound of a gallop not too far away. Looking left and right trying to fixate the source of the sound,  you look behind you only getting a split second to react and dodge a train of bright green light which had crashed into the other two mares.

" Lyra! Get off me!" Vinyl shouted trying to move the mint green mare's body off of her.

" Vinyl! You get off of me! Why do you weigh so much?!" Octavia exclaimed being the last under the pile. Curiosity had taken the best of you as you think to yourself,' Aren't they spirits?' With a sigh, you approach the comedic trio of spirits lending out a hoof to the green one on top.

" I'm so sorry!" Lyra apologized," I got lost on the way here but only because Vinyl and Octavia left me!"

Once helping her stand upon her four hooves, she greets you properly with an introduction," By the way, my name is Lyra Heartstrings or more preferably, the spirit of Chaka!"

" And together we are the musical beats that shall guide you upon your journey," Octavia introduced all together as one.

Yes, even though you already knew this, formalities still must have been made. Although now being in front of the trio, you couldn't let the slightest question get past you. For generations, you and your fellow Pataponies have known, listened and played to four beats: Pon being Vinyl, Chaka being Lyra as Don being Octavia.....Wasn't there supposed to be a Pata somewhere? You were so sure of it.

" Ah yes, Ditzy," Lyra answered your question," I don't really know what happened to her."

" Last time I heard, she was still stuck in Equestria," Vinyl responded clearing up the confusion in the slightest.

" Never mind that," Octavia quickly whisked it away." We are here now and our main purpose is to teach Uber our rhythms so that he may guide the Pataponies to a better and brighter Equestria."

" Here here to that!" Vinyl cheered with Lyra thus beginning your journey.

From now on, these were your commands, your law and your life, may you use them wisely as you journey across Equestria:

Pata Pata Pata Pon - Onward - We march together side by side ready with a trot. What lies ahead is unknown but with friendship we shall overcome.

Pon Pon Pata Pon - Attack -  We attack only when in danger to protect those we trot with.

Chaka Chaka Pata Pon - Defend-  When it is time, we defend and await our next assault.

Pon Chaka Pon Chaka - Charge - Our hooves anchored to the floor, we muster our strength.

Pon Pata Pon Pata - Retreat - We do not simply run away. We make a tactical retreat only to return.

Don Don Chaka Chaka - Jump - Stretch your hooves out and jump to touch the heavens above when the earth is no longer safe.

Pata Pon Don Chaka - Party - As even warriors deserve a little party, Pinkie Pie Style.

The Coming Of UberHero

Such cold rain......

Your body and soul may be imprisoned in stone but yet, you can feel the pits and pats gently upon your back. The environment surrounding you is devastated, black and ravaged. The trees charred from being burnt, not a single green leaf could have been spotted or saved. Only black and white.

The legend revived.....

You were not alone. Your fellow comrades, stallions and mares alike have fallen with you trapped in stone to represent what could have only been a battlefield. Their frozen battle stances side by side, fearless, strong and for one another, they readied their weapons for a final attack. A lightning bolt strikes the grounds of Equestria, brightening the dark area temporarily as their tribal marks of white showed perfectly contrasting with the black. So simple but yet so powerful were your ponies. What could have possibly gone wrong?

Only one hope remains - You.

Being brought here, imprisoned in stone by that same shining blue light, it descended from the heavens taking form of your species both winged and horned.  The only being with color, she hovered above you with her great wings not too soon to land beside your frozen body." HUZZAH! THE TIME HAS COME TO REINCARNATE THE GREAT UBERHERO!" She shouted matching the volumes of the rolling thunder.

Sight and sound of her alone, the earth obeyed her command as a continuous beat filled the area. Being a Patapony, hearing the music of her tribe, she danced beating her hooves upon the floor in perfect synchronization. " HARK! THE RHYTHM OF EQUESTRIA! THE BRAVERY DRUM!"

[ PON PON PON]

Wait, what was happening?! Even in your imprisonment, your body became aglow hearing the chants of your ponies once again.

[ PON PON PON]

Spreading her wings over you, she looked to the heavens above praying for a miracle. " UBER! TAKER OF THE OATH! IN THE NAME OF THE LEGENDARY HERO!''

[ PON PON PON]

" BECOME HIS ESSENCE! AND MANIFEST YOURSELF UPON EQUESTRIA!"

[ PON! PON! PON!]

The music immediately came to a pause at the final beat, your body glowed miraculously brightening the entire area as feeling had returned to your hooves and legs. With a mighty gasp, you breathe uncontrollably making up for lost oxygen throughout your imprisonment. Flowing through your body, oxygenated blood resupplies your muscles allowing you to take control of your hooves. You take a stand meeting the midnight blue alicorn towering over you.

" Where ....am I.... How Could I.... Am I... alive?" You asked confusingly to the alicorn. The only thing you could have perfectly remembered was being asleep, only to be awoken by-- " YOU!"

"  Yes! It is I, Princess Luna of the Night!" She introduced herself. Knowing that she is the princess, you would like to bow to your highness but instead, you have more important matters. Looking to your right, you gaze upon your fallen ponies trapped in stone. All of them.

" What in Equestria happened?" You ask with dread in your voice.

Luna sighed pointing a hoof to your comrades," Behold your brothers and sisters; turned to stone after breaking the curse of Discord and releasing a great evil upon our land."

Knowing this, and with a great ache in your heart, you take a slow trot towards them as step by step the pain grows making it harder for you to move.

Slowly but surely, you power through but is once again obstructed your hoof banged against a piece of metal. You silently curse yourself in pain, looking to the floor for what could have possibly caused this. It was your promised cannon just laying in the mud! You bring it back upon its wheels as you swipe your tail across its surface ensuring that your firearm always stayed clean.

" I am sorry, but you are here by oath reborn as the essence of Uber," she apologizes.

You trot to a puddle of water looking at your reflection. Wait a second! This was not you! Whose body were you in?! Last time you checked, you were a regular Patapony with your usual black and white pattern, but now? Your body was coated a light pink from that hyperactive mare you had chosen earlier on. Nevertheless, the markings of your tribe, black circles connected to one another by a white line remained.

Slamming your hooves in the puddle, your image is distorted as you look towards Luna and shout, " WHO AM I?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

As if by instinct, she understands your pain, but, you are a hero! And there was no time for sorrow.

[ PATA PATA PATA]

You raised yourself from your sorrow hearing the beat once again.. Your eyes blink in recognition of that sound as you ears twitch trying to pin point the source of the drumming.

[ PATA PATA PATA]

" Now, now! Hear that? That's the drum of the ancients!" Luna informed you.

You stand upon your hooves suddenly filled with energy as you take a trot beside her towards the direction of sound," I feel... Strength."

" As do I, it is the song of our ponies, even in death, we stand by one another."

[ PATA PATA PATA]

Well, look at what you had found! A lone flag bearing Patapony beating the drum of the lost soul Pata or as the sisters called her, Ditzy. " Please! Mighty One! Last Hatapony be gobbled up!" He called out a prayer beating the red drum, hoping that somepony would have heard him.

[ PATA PATA PATA]

" Pata Pata Pata Pon!" Luna sang in perfect synchronization completing the beat," Hatapony can only strike Pata, but cannot pound a Pon. Come on Uber! PATA PATA PATA PON!" She shouted the order of the drumming beats," He needs to complete the rhythm!"

[ PATA PATA PATA--]

" PON!" You exclaim shooting out your right hoof in a dancing step. With the beat completed, the music evolved from beats and into a more lively tune.

The flag bearer looks at you confused but does not stray from the rhythm," Er...Wait...Could it be possible?" He asked unsure of himself. A second time did he drum the beat with his hooves keeping an observant eye on you.

[ PATA PATA PATA--]

" PON!" You repeated with your previous steps," Wow! This feels....Exhilarating!" You exclaim as adrenaline pumps through your body. The motions feels effortless as you trot alongside your two companions, Luna who skips and dances to the beat as Hatapony joins you, raising his flag and waving it to and fro.

" Three petrified heroes remain! Find them to free them of their curse!" The alicorn of the night exclaimed. " The spirits of Tate, Yuri and Yami shall lend you their strength!"

Continuing your short dancing trot towards the statues, Princess Luna rushed ahead finding the first Patapony, a pegasus with a lance clenched between its jaws. She hovered above the statue as did yours and announced," Bound by oath Ton Yaripony! And by the spirit of Rainbow Dash! Awaken as the convert, Yaridash!"

Filled with life once again and hearing the beat, Yaridash joins the remaining members of the tribe." HATAPONY! YOU FOUND THE UBER HERO, HAVEN'T YOU!?"

" I sure have!" Heresponded jubilantly following your lead with Luna. Three Pataponies found and two more to go! The beat and music filled your body with positive emotions as you once again saw your ponies alive, breathing and joyous. Yaridash threw her lance in the air feeling the music through her soul as if it was a parade surely about to catch it.

Completely out of random sake, the music died off as if a record had been scratched during mid-play. Nearly losing your life again by an inch, the lance landed beside your body as it struck the floor standing up right.

" Hey! Watch it!" You warned the pegasus who apologized with a 'whoops'. Surely there must be a well enough reason for this.

Taking a quick gallop ahead, you reach beside Luna once more and question your majesty," Hey Princess, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," you say describing her expression to the point.

Carefully observing the midnight blue alicorn, her mouth was agape as her eyes widened with dilated pupils, she stared at a single petrified statue towering the other Pataponies. " It's because I have."

" Well, who is that?" You asked out of sheer curiosity.

" That...That my dear hero, is my sister, Princess Celestia."