The Mane Attraction

by Karrakaz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance
Length: 1354

One of the best days in Celestia's life was just a ruse...

My ponies come up with some strange ideas; and so do I.

What follows is the best, and arguably the weirdest day of Celestia's life. (and at her age that's saying something)

Enjoy.

Published 2014-05-31 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-31 00:00:02 UTC

Looking back on things

How did it come to this? Celestia wondered, eyes closed and a hoof on her chin. Though try as she might she could not come up with a satisfying answer quite yet. The morning after Nightmare Night had started out so well; Luna had come to her babbling about how much fun she was going to have with her newfound... fun, Cadence and Shining Armor had finally announced that they would get married later in the year, and she had received a letter from Twilight stating that she would be coming over for a visit after having missed ‘her princess’ the previous evening.

And things had only gotten better from there on. The Gryphon and Minotaur ambassadors had finally come to an agreement on the terms of their trade treaties with Equestria, which meant that the economy would receive a much needed boost. There had been only one petitioner at morning court, as opposed to the hundreds on every other day, and it had been a lone filly who had dropped her ice cream; which, unlike most other petitions was solved by a quick application of magic and a comforting smile.

If only every day was like this. Celestia lamented silently while her mane and tail billowed around her, moving as though some hidden purpose drove them onward. She had thought her good fortune would come to an end after dismissing morning court early; expected it even. She was sure that whatever eldritch creature toyed with fate, would have surely gotten fed up with her by then.

Once again, she had been proven wrong. The missing salad garnish which she had immediately heralded as the end of her fortunate streak, turned out to be a surprise by the kitchen staff. They had found a way to replicate the Equestria famous MMMM and hadn’t wanted her to spoil her appetite. Truly divine.

The afternoon, for once, had produced no immediate disasters, angry landowners, or monsters from beyond the veil of space and time to worry over. It even let Celestia indulge in an hour or two of undisturbed painting, which was quite possibly an even greater gift than the quadruple layered cake had been.

It was then that she should have suspected something was wrong, but a belly full of sugary treats, and the long time spent with her favorite distractions; had dulled her senses and waned her alertness to the point where she was no longer capable of detecting the disaster that loomed over her before it was already too late.

“Tag, thou art it!”

Celestia sighed and, eyes still closed, tried to take a sip from her freshly brewed chamomile tea. It was a special blend given to her by an old zebra shaman and was intended to give her the peace and clarity to enter a deeply restful meditative state. Or it would have, had the cup not been tossed from her magic by a careless flap of a wing.

“Hey, no fair, we were playing hide and seek.”

“Thee hiding skills are unbeatable, Twilight Sparkle, and a game is fun only if everypony doth hath a chance of claiming victory.”

Luna had been the first culprit. Sitting down just as Celestia had become engrossed in one of the new Daring Do novels. Bringing the character to life for a day had been one of her bigger mistakes, but it had also given her a new appreciation for the books.

“Sister mine?” Luna had asked in her archaic speech, which never bothered Celestia but rather reminded her of olden times.

“Hmm hmm?” Daring had just been about to make off with the collar of Cerberus, and most of what Luna had said next had fallen on deaf ears.

“—And we were wondering if you would be willing to allow us to do so.”

Like an idiot she’d said “Sure, Lulu.” Like a lamb to the slaughter she had said “You have my blessing.” Engrossed as she had been, she had missed the neon sign with blinkers and all manner of other whistles, nor seen the wicked smile grow on Luna’s face as she pranced back to her co-conspirators.

“What should we try next?”

“Oh, I know! How about a hammock?”

“Surely even our sister doth hath not enough mane for such a thing?”

Three young voices giggled, which to her ears might well have been the guttural wails of the lost souls in tartarus.

“Only one way to find out!”

That has to be it. Celestia decided. That was where it had all gone wrong, the moment she had given her blessing. She was quite sure now, because mere moments after she had said those words, the doors to her private chambers had burst open and revealed two other ponies, one an alicorn and the other a unicorn. When Luna turned around, the most striking was the fact that all three of them were smiling at her sweetly. So sweetly that it had sent shivers across her back and made all her hairs stand on end.

The battle of wills that took place thereafter was of legendary proportions but would never make it into the history books. Celestia would see to that herself, even if she had to burn a thousand years worth of history to do it.

“Thank you so much, Princess,” Twilight had said, flitting between looking Celestia in the eyes and eying her tail meaningfully.

“Indeed. I’m not saying that it wasn’t totally worth dealing with all those petitioners for, but I can’t fathom how you’re able to do that every single day aunty.”

Her first instinct then, had not been the correct one, which was something she blamed on the three hundred years of skirmishes on the borders with the diamond dogs: She fought, when she should have fled.

Her empathic “No!” had been an admirable first blow. Unfortunately, it was just a glancing strike against the armor of her assailants and the retaliatory puppy dog eyes from not one, not two, but all three mares had been a one hit K.O.

She had surrendered with a huff followed by an “Alright then.” Which in turn had been followed by three voices cheering, which sounded an awful lot like the iron bars slamming shut to her own private prison cell.

What followed thereafter had been... well... it had been a very weird case of her mane being used as a jungle gym, a swing set, a truly massive hiding spot, and now a place for the three giggling mares to rest.

“Ladies, I think we should do this again.”

“We are in agreement, Twilight Sparkle. This is most pleasant.”

“Maybe next time, we could use Luna’s mane. Now that it’s all flowy and starry again. I’ve always wondered what it would feel liked to rest on the stars themselves.”

“Ha not a chance cousin! The early bird catcheth the worm as they say, and none rise more early than I! You will never best me.”

Is it really that good? Celestia wondered as she watched her mane float throughout the entire room, held up by three different colors of magic from the mares that rested in it. I wonder if Luna will let me try it some time.

“Enough of this dallying about. Have at thee!”

She supposed that aside from the probable migraine from having her mane tugged on all day, the various scorch marks that a magic duel being played out in her mane would cause, and the inevitable hairloss were acceptable sacrifices. She had never seen them so happy, had gotten a free day off to boot, and her hair would grow back anyway.

“When you do finally go after Luna,” She said, drawing the attention of all three mares to herself. “Count me in.” And giggled along with the rest of them.

Perhaps she would have to see about getting Cadence and Twilight flowy manes of their own, or at the very least come up with a plan to subject Luna to this... experience next time. If nothing else it would save her from always being the mane attraction.