Pinkie’s Diary
Hiya, My name is Pinkie Pie. Well, my Real Name is Pinkameana Diane Pie, but that sounds too fancy, so I just go by Pinkie. I live with my big sister Maud, and I’m a High school Student at Canterlot High. Wanna know something else, something secret? I’ve got a huge crush on one of my best friends. Her name is Rainbow Dash, and she’s perfect. Well, there was an incident a few years ago where this meany Sunset Shimmer broke up our friendship and our friendships with our other friends AJ, Fluttershy, and Rarity. But then a Magic Pony Princess named Twilight showed up, helped us make friends again, turned us into furries, and then we shot Sunset Shimmer with a laser beam made of rainbows and friendship, so she’s our friend now. I told my therapist that, and now he wants to put me on antipsychotics, but Maud won’t sign the form (We live near the School, so she saw everything)
Anyway, I’m here to talk about Dashie. She’s perfect. She’s confident, athletic, friendly, and that athletic figure makes my legs weak. But, I don’t think she likes girls. So the perfect girl lives in my town, goes to my school, and we spend almost every day together, but I can’t have her because I don’t know if she likes girls and I’m afraid I’ll ruin our freshly fixed friendship if I ask her. It hurts sometimes, thinking about it, but if I keep telling myself that being her friend is enough, then maybe I’ll start believing it. Besides, it doesn’t hurt anywhere near as bad as it did when we all hated each other. Yeah, we were fourteen and I loved her even then. Kinda pathetic huh? Sorry, gotta go, Maud’s calling me.
Hi again. I’m seeing a new therapist now. I told my old one about my feelings for Dashie, and he called me a disgusting sinner. I told Maud, Maud called his boss, and he lost his license to practice psychostuff. My new therapist is nice, her name is Dr. Cadance. She believes me about the stuff that happened at school.
She said that just having feelings for Dashie has already changed how our friendship works, and that even if Dashie rejects me, it can’t be as bad as torturing myself about my feelings. She wants me to tell Dashie, but I’m scared.
I’m still too scared to tell Dashie how I feel. I told Fluttershy how I feel about Dashie, cuz she’s the one that’s least likely to make a big deal about me being a lezzybean. She was pretty supportive, but she thinks that I should talk to Dashie.
AJ saw us coming out of the broom closet, so I had to tell her the truth. I feel really really bad, I assumed that she would think less of me, cuz she’s from the south, but no she was just as nice as ever. She said that if anybody gave me trouble for being the way I was born, I could tell her and she’d get her siblings together and they’d beat ‘em up. I told her that I wouldn’t need that. We live in a pretty tolerant area.
Sunset walked by after that. I said she was our friend now, right? Anyway, she walked by, and very politely asked what was going on. She’s been trying so hard to be a good friend, so we told her about me coming out to Fluttershy and AJ (We didn’t mention the bit about Dashie). She looked really confused when AJ mentioned people giving me trouble for being the way I am. Apparently stuff like that just doesn’t happen on the other side of the mirror. People causing trouble for other people cuz of their sexuality, not girls being lezzybeans.
Okay, apparently it’s “Lesbian”, not “Lezzybean”. Whatever. I still haven’t told Dashie how I feel about her. She’s the only one that doesn’t know. The whole school knows I like girls now. At first I thought Rarity let it slip, but it turns out that there was a girl in the stall at the far end of the bathroom, and she’s the one who told everyone. A few days later, Sunset’s little minions put a paint bomb in her locker. They got suspended, but Sunset insists that she had nothing to do with it.
Other than that, everything’s been fine. No. That’s a lie. About a week later, this jerky guy came up to me. You know the type? You see them on reality TV shows, the guy with a fake tan who thinks that everyone and everything revolves around them. He offered to “fix” me. I told him no, and then the jerk tried to kiss me. I say “tried” cuz he got hit upside the head with a soccer ball the second he made the kissy lips. Or maybe he was doing that “duck face” thing. Either way he deserved a ball to the head.
Dashie kicked it. She told the meany pants that if he tried that again, she’d cut off his boy parts with a plastic spork. Well, she was a bit more rude and cussy then that, but I think I got the point across. Jerkyface ran off, and Dashie came over to me. She pulled me into a hug and then she asked me if I was okay. I told her I was fine, and that jerky face didn’t hurt me. She hugged me tighter and said that if I ever needed help with anything, I could just ask her.
I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I wanted to tell her so bad. But I didn’t. I was about too, honest I was, but I got scared at the last minute. I am so pathetic.
I told her. I told Dashie how I felt. I told her that I loved her. I told her everything.
And she just stood there.
She just stood there while I spilled my guts. She just stood there staring at me. She hates me now, she has to.
I turned and ran. I skipped the rest of school and ran straight home. Maud was shocked that I was home so soon, but then she saw that I was crying and she held me for like four hours, but she had to leave for her night classes at the university after that. She told me if she could miss them she would have, and I know how much her education means to her, so that tells you how serious she takes my problems.
I’m just glad it’s a Friday, so I don’t have to see anybody till Monday. I’ve locked my bedroom door.
