Discord's Fanmare

by Voxyl the Game Dragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 934

Discord, everyone's favorite chaos lord, has a fanmare! But she's so obsessed with him, that he sees her as a creepy stalker. Now, she thinks I'm DATING Disord, and will stop at nothing to break us apart.

Only a few short seconds after with the Ponyville Maresquerade ball, Discord and I run into one of his many fanmares.

But this mare's a crazy stalker!

As she watches me and Discord together, she begans to think we're dating!

And will stop at nothing to break us apart.

Also, the mare in the cover picture is not the mare in the story. I apologize to anyone I have offended.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-31 16:10:04 UTC

The Maresquerade Ball

Welcome to the Ponyville Maresquerade Ball!

Every 5 and a half months, a fancy ball is held at the Ponyville Ball House.

I was in a white tuxedo, a pink corsage pinned into it. I had gone stag, but I soon found Discord. He had gone stag too, since Fluttershy was with Big Mac.

I must note though, Discord looked quite snazzy in his blue tuxedo.

Discord snickered lightly as he watched Bulk Biceps and Big Mac argue over who was going share the next dance with Fluttershy.

"Stallions," I chuckled, sipping at my punch.

"Why did you go stag, Written? Didn't Caramel Cream ask you to go with him?"

"Yeah, but I turned him down. I just don't like to dance. And if I went with him, people would that he was a Stallion-Snuggler, because I don't like to wear dresses."

I paused to breathe.

"I would have come in this tuxedo. Several fillies have already asked me to dance, thinking I was a colt. But I turned them down politely."

Discord looked surprised.

"You can really talk a mouth full."

"Hey, I needed two breaths! Pinkie only needs one."

We both laughed at my joke.

(After the Ball)

Discord and I walked out together, me flying up close to his head.

"Wanna get a-"

I was cut off by a ear-splitting squeal.

My hooves slammed over my ears. I suddenly didn't hear any noise. I opened my eyes and saw a noise canceling bubble around my head.

I sighed and hugged Discord, he smiled and hugged me back.

"Now-"

Discord snapped, popping the bubble.

"What was that?"

Discord suddenly felt something latched around his waist. He looked down and saw a vine green unicorn mare with an orange and dark brown mane.

She was hugging Discord rather tightly around the waist. He walked backwards, phasing out of her grasp.

I caught her before she crash to the ground.

"Excuse me, but who are and why are hugging me?!"

The mare opened her robin's egg colored eyes and squealed. I landed on her tail, which kept her from running off.

"Answer the question, please."

"Oh! I'm Pumpernickel Pumpkin! And I'm a real big big BIG fan on your's!"

Discord was flattered, but creeped out more.

"Is that why you were squeezing him?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I've never seen Discord in real life before! So I just had to give him the BIGGEST hug possible! I mean I've loved Discord all my life..."

Pumpernickel was still talking, but Discord and I weren't listening.

"Maybe we should go get that root beer I was talking about," I whispered.

"Good idea."

Discord snapped and suddenly we we're gone.

"...and when I finally saw you up close, I just squealed. Wouldn't you have...where'd ya go?"

How Did She Get Up Here

Discord strapped a book delivery bag onto his shoulders. He was going to help me deliver books today.

"Ready," I asked, putting on my green mail cap.

Discord nodded.

"Let's go!"

Discord opened the door and took one step outside, but was tackled immediately.

He winced and opened his eyes.

"Pumpernickel Pumpkin?"

"Yay! You remembered my name!"

The vine green mare hugged him tighter, causing Discord to let out a,"Hnnnnnnnnng!"

"Wait."

Pumpernickel hugged Discord tighter, who was turning blue from lack of breath, and moved her closer to him.

"My Dizzy."

"Keep him. I don't care."

"Written!"

"I'm joking, Discord. Now my real question is, how in the hey are you up here?"

Me and Discord lived in a shared cloud home together. After that demonic, power-stealing, monkey-horse-goat-ram-thing destroyed nearly everything, included Discord's place, the Chaos Lord needing somewhere to stay. So I let him stay with me.

"Pause."

The screen froze and Discord flew out of Pumpernickel's grasp. He began reading the storyline.

"Demonic, power-stealing, monkey-horse-goat-ram-thing? That's priceless! Do you know his name?!"

He looked up at human Written, who was the author of this story.

"Yes I do, I just don't know how to spell it. Now get back to your place, so I can finish this story!"

Discord held up his hands and a sign appeared.

"Watch out! We're dealing a badflank over here," it read.

She pointed to his place firmly.

"Alright, alright."

He wriggled back into Pumpernickel's grasp.

"Play."

The screen unfroze and Discord squeaked in pain. Pumpernickel continued answering my question.

"Well, I'm a unicorn so I casted a spell that let me walk on clouds. Then I just created a magical staircase up here!"

"And how did you know I would be here?"

"That's not important."

A telescope rolled out for under Pumpernickel.

We all stared at it for a good 2 seconds before she used her magic to throw it out the open door.

"Hehe. Don't know where that came from!"

Discord let at me and mouth, "Help me."

I mouth back, "I'll try."

I put on my famous half-smile and walked over to Pumpernickel.

"Uh...Pumpernickel?"

The vine green unicorn smiled at me.

"Me and Discord have to deliver books now."

"Yes! Now if you could please let me go!"

"Oh. Alright."

Pumpernickel finally let go of Discord, who was now taking gasping breaths.

I quickly helped Discord up and out the door. I shut it behind me.

Wait a minute.

I quickly opened my door and saw Pumpernickel sitting there.

"Get out my house!"

Pumpernickel jumped at my sudden voice, but got up and began walking down her magical staircase. When she was at the bottom, Discord and I began flying.

Neither of us noticed Pumpernickel's scowl.

"No one steals my Dizzy!"