The Two Killers

I looked around the cellar. The walls were rusty. Blood was everywhere. A banner hung from the wall said: "Life is a Party". I noticed a steel board with four cuffs on the edges.

"What's that?" I asked Pinkie, pointing to the board.

"Oh, that old thing." Pinkie said, smiling a little. "It's what I use to kill my victims!"

"How do you kill them with that?" I ask.

"Easy." Pinkie trots over to the board and points to the cuffs.

"I place the pony on the board and cuff their hooves to it. You can't dissect a pony who's squirming around!" she explained to me.

"What, you dissect your victims?" I said. I mean, I torture my victims, but not like this.

"Oh, sure. You see, I use the ponies to make cupcakes! I can't have all of those icky innards in those yummy treats!" she says.

Suddenly, I feel very sickish inside. All of those delicious cupcakes that I ate had PONIES in them?!

Pinkie looks at me sympathetically.

"Awww,I'm sorry. i didn't mean to tell you that I use ponies in my cupcakes!" Pinkie put her hooves over her mouth.

"Oopsie. I did it again." she said sheepishly.

"Meh." I said , waving of the subject as though it was a piece of garbage. "It doesn't matter."

Out of nowhere, a filly comes out of the shadows. She has a yellow coat and red hair pushed back with a large pink bow.

"Hah, Ms.Pinkamena!" the filly says, jumping up and down.

"Hello, Applebloom!" Pinkie says cheerfully. Pinkie looks toward me.

"Jeff, this is Applebloom!" Pinkie pushes the smiling filly toward me. "Applebloom, this is Jeff!"

"Howdy!" Applebloom says cheerfully. "Ah'm Applebloom!"

"I'm Jeff." I say, shaking Applebloom's hoof. "Nice to meet you."

"Well, Jeff." Applebloom said. "Ah sure do love your cutie mark. Ah'm sure I know how you got it."

I let out a short laugh. Yeah, It wouldn't take a genius to figure out how I got my cutie mark.

"So yer a killer like Ms.Pinkamena!" Applebloom said. "I'm her killer in training."

I smile. This is sure one bubbly filly. It was nice how Pinkie was taking her under her hoof.

"Ahem." i looked toward Pinkie. "Let's get back to discussing about killing, shall we?"

"Yeah. Right." I say, feeling my face burn with embarrassment.

"So I use these tools-" Pinkie pulls over a cart with assorted dissecting tools.

"Coooooool." I say, holding up one.

"-to dissect the ponies!" she says.

"First, I begin with cutting off their cutie marks." she says, making circles around her own cutie marks.

"Then, I cut off their wings/horn!" she says.

"Then,-this is my favorite part- I cut off their flesh and remove their innards!" she squeals.

"Cool!" I gush. This was really one rocking mare.

"Ah think so, too!" Applebloom says.

"Hey!" Pinkie says. "Why don't we come with each other on our killings?"

"That's a great idea!" I say. It really was a good idea. Just imagine. Someone coming with me to murder a pony!

"AND-" Pinkie added, still excited. "We can TEACH each other how to do their killing techniques!"

I've never felt so happy in my entire life. I've always wanted to teach someone how to kill!

"Deal?" Pinkie said, holding out her hoof.

"Deal!" I say, shaking her hoof.

And that is how i became friends with Pinkamena Diane Pie.