Light Grows Dim

by HiddenUnderACouch

Rating: mature
Tags: Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Scootaloo, Adventure, Crossover, Sex, Gore, Raindrops, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Original Character
Length: 24510

Scootaloo discovers the horrific secret about herself, when she faces the moment of true despair. The insidious force inside strives to take over. Can Scootaloo take control of the Darkness, or will she become its puppet forever?

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt, It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills, It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.

I've always thought that my life was great. Even though it had its moments of suck, it was still great. I had everything - my friends, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, the endless crusade to find my talent. Rainbow Dash, my idol, my nonpareil, the best pony in all of Equestria.

It didn't matter that I was living in an orphanage. It didn't matter that I couldn't fly yet. But there are times when you discover things about yourself that should have remained undiscovered.

The being inside me. It calls for blood. For murder. I am trying my best to fight it, but at times I wonder if I should. Maybe this is who I really am - maybe I can change it. Use it for good. Become a hero.

But what are the chances, that when I think I am using it for good, I'm not being used? What if I am just playing a part in its plan? Am I really just a pawn in its dark tendrils and nothing more?

I'm so scared. So tired. I cannot fight it. It's so close...

Darkness... all around me.

Warning: Contains explicit gore and swearing, brutal deaths of background characters and mental breaking of Scootaloo. Tread carefully.

A first-person story!

Editors: Gidget_TheGear, Messoria.
Cover-art: TheLivingShadow

Published 2014-06-01 23:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-20 20:16:49 UTC

A present for Hearth's Warming

7:58

In about two minutes, this particular day of the year would start as it always did, I noted glumly and averted my eyes from the clock. The old wooden thing with countless scratches on its surface was such an eyesore for me. Being the unlucky one, I had to sleep in the middle, the damn thing hanging right on the wall against my bed. I leered at my earth pony roommate, Irma, one of my friends in this place I call home.

Home… Some said that only the most unlucky of ponies would call Celestial Light Orphanage home. Did I consider myself unlucky? Ha, hell no!

When the waking bell started to ring, everypony would throw away their blankets and rush out of the rooms with reckless abandon, to see what they’d gotten for Hearths Warming.

7:59

Frankly, no one actually got anything great, since, well, we were orphans. All we could hope for was for a generous soul to gift something to the orphanage, or, in rare cases, to particular foals they’d grown to like.

Any normal kid would probably pity us, but for most foals here, it was like a gift from Celestia herself.

7:59:30

I noticed Irma stirring and grabbing the blanket that covered her. I chuckled and she turned her head to me and pierced me with an icy glance for reasons I couldn’t tell and couldn’t possibly care less for.

“Scootaloo, how many times I told you not to stare at me while I sleep! It creeps me the hell out!” she angrily whispered. Jeez, what a weepie! Like watching her sleep was some kind of a crime.

“Sorry, Irma, I just can’t resist looking at your—” The waking bell interrupted my supposed compliment. “Whoops, gotta go! See ya at breakfast!”

I escaped my bed swiftly, hoping to find a good hiding spot before the room was filled with stampeding ponies, eager to get their presents. Irma followed me with a confused glance, raising her eyebrow, and I replied with a sly grin, shutting the bathroom door right before the orphanage echoed with the sounds of dozens of hooves. I blocked the door with my body, as if anypony was going to break through it, and listened.

So many sounds, so many voices. At times, I wondered if other ponies learned to breed by gemmation, and each day, there seemed to be three or two new foals to be introduced into our big, happy family.

Finally, the stampede was over, and the room was quiet once more. I walked away from the door, realizing that I was all alone now in this part of the building.

Well, at least I got to brush first, which meant I wouldn’t have to clean the sink afterwards, thankfully; as nice as Marisa was, she was just unable to not sully everything with toothpaste.

I looked into the mirror of the bath. Well, it’d be quite generous to call it that, considering that it only consisted of a mirror, a small sink, some cupboards and hooks, to store towels and other goods related to dental hygene.

As I fiddled around with the tube of toothpaste, I couldn’t help but grin at how awesome this day was going to be. Sure, I didn’t get anything graspable for Hearts Warming—I never did, hence I didn’t run down like the others—but instead I would be spending the today’s entire afternoon with the most radical pony in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash!

I just couldn’t believe my own ears when she promised that she would spend this Hearts Warming with me! It was something I had dreamt about since I saw her, since I became her number one fan. To spend a whole afternoon with the most awesome pony in the history of Equestria… no, scratch that, the history of galaxy!

While my toothbrush worked its magic against the most vicious enemy known to ponykind, bad morning breath, I couldn’t help but strike some cool poses for myself in front of the mirror. When I was done and spat out, I ran my hoof through my hair, to make sure it was as tousled as it was supposed to be, and flashed a winning smile and pumped a hooves-up to my mirror-self.

“Another day to be tackled by who?” I struck another pose. “Scootaloo!”

My mirror-self didn’t respond and just seemed like it wanted to show me how dumb I looked like this, so I stopped right there before somepony came in and saw me—not that I reckoned with that.

Making sure I made my bed in a way that would not show any creases and crinkles, I left the room and made my way to the canteen. It was an old room and it hadn’t changed even a bit since I could remember it, but it did its job. There weren’t many kids here yet, they were likely still playing—or envying—the things they’d had under the tree. I straightened up a bit to be able to look over the tables and spotted the sunflower yellow mane of Marisa in the waiting queue with a tray balanced on her back. I hastily dashed and grabbed myself one as well, since I didn’t want someone mean to get into the queue before me.

“G’morning, Scoots,” Marisa greeted me when I approached the food distribution and poked her flank to get her attention.

“Hiya,” I chirped while I balanced the tray between my wings, because I needed to spend some energy.

“Well, that’s new,” she chuckled, “you’re normally glum the whole Hearts Warming holiday. Did you get something?”

The tray lost its balance on my back, fell on the ground and broke asunder. Grinning sheepishly, I kicked it under a nearby table before I got a new one and said: “No, I got something waaay better!” I proclaimed with all the vigour of a puppy who’d gotten a treat. I assumed a regal pose. “I will be spending the day with Ponyville’s most awesomest pony!”

Marisa turned around a tilted her head. “Who, now? Whoops!” She gasped when something fell out of her mane and onto the floor, a jasmine coloured feather. She hastily grabbed it and put it back behind her left ear, I noted.

“Rainbow Dash, of course!” I said somewhat hurt. How could somepony not know Rainbow Dash? “She promised she’d be spending the day with me! Isn’t that awesome!” I grinned eagerly at the older foal, and she smiled at me and tousled my mane with a hoof.

“Ah, yes, that Rainbow Dash.” She clearly lied about knowing her, but I didn’t call her out on it. “So, you’ll be out the whole day? That’s fantastic.” She moved along the queue until it was her turn to order what she wanted of the two offered meals. There were two today! “I’d like the carrot salad with lettuce and a muffin as dessert, Sir.”

The sickly looking pony behind the counter just nodded and dumped the ordered meal onto a platter and gave it to her. Despite the pony’s impolite behaviour, she thanked him, took her muffin off a tray on the counter, and waited for me to get my share.

I looked up to the sign that read which dishes were being served today: said carrot salad, or a warm vegetable soup with a dessert, which was either a chocolate muffin or a small ice cone. I took the vegetable soup, since I wasn’t too much of a fan of salads; it always seemed as if I’d be chewing leaves.

Just like before, the pony behind the counter didn’t answer and just dumped the soup into a bowel, which he hoofed over to me. While he was busy with the foal behind me, I silently took three more muffins off the tray and hid them under a couple of napkins.

Marisa seemed to have found herself a seat on a nearly empty table, only a frail looking unicorn of nearly white colours of both mane and coat sat there silently and nibbled on a muffin. I approached it and found Marisa in a silent conversation with the sickly unicorn.

“...need to speak to the educators about this,” I heard her say silently to the foal, who seemed nigh unto tears, I now noticed.

“But... when he finds out I called him out again, he will—“ A small sob interrupted him, “—he will...” He trailed off as the fur under his eyes became a darker shade with his tears straining it.

Not quite knowing how to approach this, I sat down silently on a seat across the table from Marisa, who was letting the young unicorn cry in her hooves. “Hey,” I began, feeling awkward, “what’s wrong with him?”

She turned to me and I could see she was boiling on the inside. Whatever had happened to the foal, it made her angry. “Somepony stole Winter Solace’s neckerchief and his warden is nowhere to be found! I swear, when I find this worthless piece of—“ She stopped right before she’d drop something harsh in presence of a child. “—I need to speak to him. He’s neglecting his job!”

I scratched my head and started spooning my soup slowly. “But it’s just a neckerchief. If it’s so important for Winter to have one, I—“

“It was his mother’s.”

“Oh,” was everything I brought out after that. Stupid, Scootaloo. Think before you open your mouth! The rest of my meal went down in silence, only Marisa sometimes cooed soothing words to the young unicorn in her hooves, sometimes wiping away his tears with a napkin. She might not be the most clean of ponies when it came to householding, but she had a talent with children and couldn’t stand seeing them hurt. Perhaps her bleeding heart was the reason why everypony liked her.

About halfway through my soup, the sobbing had stopped and Marisa was now slowly swaying the sleeping foal in her hooves.

“I didn’t know you had a coltfriend, Marisa. Whose feather is that?” I asked just to get a conversation going.

She turned red. “Oh, it isn’t from my coltfriend, I don’t even have one. Do you remember where I’d be working from time to time for some bits?” she whispered to not disturb Winter Solace’s sleep.

I thought for a moment. “Yes, didn’t you say you’d be working for a weather mare from time to time? What was her name? Raindrops? What do you do for her?”

She took her fork in one hoof and started eating her food. “Well, as I said: she’s a weather mare, which means she gotta do night shifts as well from time to time. When that’s the case, I tend to the chores of her house—dusting off and everything—so she doesn’t have to do it when she comes back.”

I nodded, just now noticing that none of us had gotten a drink when we ordered. What a dipshit behind the counter! “She’s letting you into her house while she’s away? Isn’t that, no offence, somewhat risky for her?”

“Yes, she didn’t let me do it at the start, but over the months, she’s grown to like me, and she trusts me enough for this. She’s working really hard and she said that... she considers adopting me.” She spoke the last phrase as if she couldn’t comprehend what she’d just said. I knew why: the older foals were less likely to be adopted that the young ones. It was almost a miracle that somepony was interested in her.

“I see,” I began, “so she gave you the feather afterwards, right? Do you know what this means?” I asked, grinning at the prospect to explain some pegasus culture to the earth pony.

She shook her head.

“It normally is a gesture between to pegasus lovers to exchange two of the outer feathers with each other to show their respect and affection for each other.” I made a dramatic pause for all the misinterpretations to sink in before I continued. “It comes from an old pegasus tradition. You see, back in the day, the pegasi didn’t all speak the same language and needed a way to discern which foal belonged to which mother. So, pegasus mothers would always place one of their feathers in their foal’s mane when they weren’t around. That way, when one found a lost child, one would just need to find a mare of the same colour as the feather and you had the mother.”

“That’s… nice… But why are you telling me this? And where did you get all this stuff?” She titled her head.

I laughed a little. “Because the fact that she gave you one of her feathers is basically telling every pegasus that sees you with her: That’s my foal.” I fixed my imaginary glasses with a quick swoop of a hoof. “You definitely need to visit Twilight’s library more often. It has some interesting stuff!”

She seemed at a loss for words, so I made some funny faces before her to make her laugh; it was better than silence.

“You’re impossible, Scootaloo, you know that?” she joked, but turned glum directly after; it was a bit jarring to see. “But me leaving means that there’s no one looking after the small ones when they come here, y’know, when it’s hardest for them.”

I understood her completely. Most of the orphans came here at a young age and didn’t quite want to realize that they no longer had parents. I had seen it before, the void in their eyes, so unfitting for the foal they’d belong to.

I slid off my seat and hugged Marisa, or tried to, at least—she was way bigger. “Perhaps you can visit us. Who knows, perhaps you will be working at a place like this when you grow up, just like Miss Tenderheart! Wouldn’t that be awesome?!”

She patted my head in return, since, well, her other hoof was still occupied. “A great idea, my little Wonderbolt. Now, I think I need to take Winter to her room. I’ll be back soon.” She stood up.

“Oh, no. I’m done.” I glanced at the clock, 9:49 AM. This had taken quite the while. I wasn’t supposed to meet with Rainbow before 13:00 PM, though, so it was no problem. “I think it’ll head out and see if Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle got some time.”

“Have fun out there, Scootie!” she said, smiling at me, carefully placed the sleepy unicorn on her back and trotted away into the living quarters.

I sprung up from my seat and dashed to the exit, leaving the dirty tableware. Irma would handle that, I figured, that’s what you get for being late for breakfast.

Finally, after traversing the seemingly endless corridors of the orphanage, I stormed out of the main entrance and sniffed in the delightfully chilly air of winter. The cold wind bit my ears a bit, but I didn’t feel that at all, because cool ponies never felt cold!

The sun was already in the sky shining brightly, which made the snow impossible to look at. Once my eyes adapted to the blinding light, I started slowly walking down the stairs, measuring each step in order not to slip and fall.

Funnily enough, the stairs were cleared of snow, leaving only ice to cover the stone. Our janitor obviously didn’t know how to do his job properly, obviously, that dumb bastard. Always wearing glasses, that egg-headed unicorn would rather spend his life away in books, than actually doing something related to his job. I barely avoided slipping and falling flat on my ass: thankfully, the hoofrail to the side wasn’t that hard to reach.

“Coming through!” I shouted at the guard, who was peacefully snoring in his booth. He quickly woke up, looked around and ran outside.

“Oh, hi Scoots!” he greeted me. I slowed down right in front of him, kicking up a wave of snow, which covered him from the top of his blue hat to the tips of his hooves.

“Good morning, Sharpie!” I said nonchalantly, giggling a little as he opened his eyes. He seriously looked like a snowpony, but without a carrot as nose.

“Good morning indeed,” Sharpie replied sarcastically, shaking the snow off of him. “You’re awfully early today, y’know. I could have used some extra sleep!”

The earth pony stretched out his forelegs and yawned loudly.

“It’s Hearths Warming today, Sharpie. C’mon, lemme through, my time schedule’s pretty tight today,” I said, starting to prance a little to preserve the warmth. Sharpie yawned once again and rubbed his big belly.

“Ah, the young—never got the time to talk, always on the run,” he mused, approaching the iron gates and inserting the keys. “But remember, Scoots—”

“Yeah, yeah, I have to be here before midnight, I know! Open the gates already!”

He sighed wearily and finally opened the path. Before Sharpie noticed anything, I slipped between him and the iron caging and found myself outside of the orphanage.

I trotted on the path towards our treehouse, the sounds of the shutting gates guiding me into the big world. Now, my only companions were the wind, the cold, and the trees around me.

I felt weird admitting it, but I loved being alone in the ‘wilderness’. Not that I was this weirdo loner type of pony, no: I just valued the time I spent alone with myself. It gave me time to think about all kinds of stuff. But at that time, all my thoughts were occupied by Rainbow Dash and our upcoming super awesome afternoon together.

I didn’t know exactly what Rainbow Dash would come up with—with such an amazing pony like her, you could expect anything, but you always knew it was going to be good. However, it didn’t matter for me if she was going to teach me how to fly, take me for an awesome adventure to the Everfree Forest, or just simply hang out, have some drinks and listen to the tales of her awesomeness: all of it was equally cool.

I couldn’t help but smirk, imagining the faces of Sweetie and Bloom when they find out what I got for this Hearths Warming. They’d turn green from envy, no doubt!

***

“Sweetie! Apple Bloom! You there?” I hollered, climbing up the stairs of our treehouse. In reply, I heard only the whistling of the wind.

It seemed I was the first to arrive at our pre-Hearths Warming meeting. Usual deal: Sweetie and Bloom had such beautiful houses, you could stay in bed for days. I swear, I would kill for a bed such as Sweetie’s. Every time I see it, I shiver, remembering how chilly the wind was when it swooped under my thin blanket and bit my ankles. And there was no way to avoid it, either. I tried asking for another blanket, or even a simple coverlet, but I got nothing.

I entered the tree house and felt myself at home; this place, be it as small as it may, felt so pleasing. I walked towards the stand right up ahead of me and felt pride, as every board of this house had some of my own sweat and blood embedded in it. The house that we built—me included. I had every right to feel great when being here.

Though, it wasn’t quite as fun with nopony around. I sat down on the hoofchair and relaxed; hopefully, the other Crusaders should arrive soon, and I wouldn’t have to wait for too long. If I were late for my meeting with Rainbow, I’d make sure those two’d have the worst Hearths Warming of their lives.

I closed my eyes and made myself comfortable in the hoofchair. They were going to arrive anyway, what was so bad in getting some short shut-eye? I wasn’t going to miss my meeting with Dash anyway; I had a special enzyme in my body, especially produced on the occasions when I needed either to meet my idol, see her show, or just drop by her house. It never let me down before.

“Tee-hee…” I heard a muffled giggle and opened my eyes. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were standing right in front of me, looking strangely entertained.

“Oh, finally! I’ve been waiting for you guys like foreve—” The instant I tried to get up I tripped over the edge of the pelvis, which hadn’t been there before, and planted my face into the floor.

The only sound that was louder than the sound of me testing how sturdy the ground was, was the sound of Bloom and Bell laughing. I opened my left eye and graced them with a smouldering look.

“Ha-ha, how very funny.” I deadpanned, not hiding my dissatisfaction. “So, whose bright idea was it?”

I loved my friends. I really did. But at times, I had to fight my inner devil in order not to spill out my colourful vocabulary onto them. For my young age, I believed I could cuss better than a salty sailor.

I got up, while they continued to snicker. Of course, my question wasn’t answered, but I wasn’t expecting an answer anyway.

“Sorry, Scootaloo, we are a little late. Rarity didn’t let me go without wrapping half of her scarves around me.” Sweetie Belle said, swiping the snow off a scarf of soft olive colour. “I told her so many times: it’s not cold outside! But did she listen? Nope!”

Sweetie huffed angrily and threw several scarves onto the floor. “She never listens to me! And what I am supposed to do with these?” I took a closer look, and felt a little chilly; those scarves looked so puffy, made with such care and love. Rarity was all over them; she always was so careful and tender with her needlework. Everything inside me urged me to take these scarves for myself.

“Nah, mah sister’s best! She only made me wear this!” Apple Bloom exclaimed excitedly and jumped around, showcasing her new sweater—Striped green and red; that was such a strange colour scheme. On its side, right on Apple Bloom’s belly, it had a picture of three red apples. “It’s mah Hearts Warming gift!”

“Wow, Apple Bloom, it looks awesome!” I said, completely honest. Applejack seemed to really love Apple Bloom… so much, in fact, that she always wanted Bloom to bear her cutie mark upon her chest—so adorable.

I envied Apple Bloom. Now, I wanted myself a sweater too—only with Rainbow Dash’s mark. I would never take it off, not even when I’d go to sleep!

“Did you get your present?” Sweetie asked, turning to me and smiling. Not quite sure of the best way to reply, I felt a slight blush on my cheeks and put up an awkward smile.

“Ehm… nothing for now… But, I will certainly get the most awesome present ever!” I said, licking my dry lips. “Believe it or not, but I got a date with the most awesome pony in the entire world!”

I couldn’t withhold my excitement and started jumping in place, flapping my wings. Immature? Maybe, but I was happy, and it was all that mattered.

“Oh, terrific!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, smiling at me. “I’m so happy for you!”

Then, she actually approached me and gave me a friendly hug. Never expecting such an outburst of feelings, I wanted to push her away gently, since cool ponies didn’t like all these huggy-wuggies.

“You two look so cute! Ah wanna in too!” Apple Bloom cried, and joined in the group hug. Her sweater tickled me; the fiber was a little scratchy, clearly hoofmade—Granny Smith, I assumed.

“Okay, okay, I love you too, guys… just don’t squish me!” I exclaimed, gently pushing them away from me. They backed away, still displaying their bright smiles.

“So, what are we going to do? I assume there’s still some time ‘fore your meeting with Rainbow; we might as well do some Cutie Mark Crusadin’.” Apple Bloom said, approached the cupboard near the wall and withdrew a roll of paper. “Let’s see what we haven’t tried yet.”

She unrolled the scroll, which was actually a giant checklist. Even Twilight had never seen anything as huge as this, I snickered. I couldn’t clearly remember, but Sweetie Belle killed at least three bottles of ink to write this thing. At times, I was impressed with her perseverance.

“Cutie Mark in swimming… Done that… Cutie Mark in tinkering… Done that… Cutie Mark in world conquering… Done that,” Sweetie read, and I snickered, remembering that time when we declared ourselves the Queens of the Universe. Then, we fought amongst ourselves who would get the whole universe, so out plan for world domination didn’t work out. “Hey, how about Cutie Mark in gardening? We’ve never done that before!”

“Great idea, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom shouted, jumping in place. I think she just remembered that she’d have a chance of getting an apple related cutie mark that way.

“Yes, sure, ignore the fact that it’s winter,” I chirped as though speaking of the weather, which I technically did. Sweetie grumbled and threw the check list back into the cupboard. “I have no ideas. Sorry, team!”

“So... what’re we goin’ to do?” Apple Bloom asked, sounding disappointed. I let out a loud yawn.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ll be off to our meeting place. Rainbow will surely arrive soon. I can’t disappoint her by being second!” I said, flexing my neck and preparing for another walk through the snow. The rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders looked disappointed for a moment, but quickly brightened up.

“Ah’ll go help Granny bakin’ pies,” Apple Bloom made her way to the door. Sweetie looked at me with a questionable glance.

“Scootaloo, won’t you catch a cold running around like this?” she asked softly. “You can take one of my scarves, if you want.”

“Hah, thanks, mo—” I shut myself up, knowing that this was a topic I ought to be silent about. “Thanks, Sweetie.”

Even though having a scarf wasn’t really the cool-pony-way, I still accepted her gift. Besides, I always thought I looked more awesome with something fluttering in the wind behind me when I’d finally fly—beautiful, just beautiful.

I chose the blue scarf with white dots; it reminded me of the sky, the sky that I would conquer in the future, as Rainbow Dash’s sidekick. My wings might not look strong enough, but soon, they would carry me into the blue.

“You’re welcome! So, Cutie Mark Crusaders’ meeting is officially over?” Belle asked, and I and Bloom nodded affirmatively. “Good. Then, see you tomorrow, everypony! Have a nice Hearths Warming!”

***

I tapped on the beech several times and listened as the knocks echoed through the air. It was so quiet, so peaceful. Too bad I arrived.

“Ha! Ha-ha! Take this!” I practiced my fighting skills on the tree, delivering one punch after another. A good flyer was good in any regard, be that flying, fighting, jogging or whatever. It didn’t matter what I and Rainbow Dash were going to do; I was going to do my best.

Hell, I bet I could even do better than Rainbow Dash in some regards. She would be astonished, and, of course, would definitely speak for me when the time would come where I attended the Wonderbolt audition.

I jumped away from the tree and flexed my muscles, commending my terrific performance. Perfecting my fighting skills on this tree would entertain me long enough for Dash to arrive, and then, we’d have some real fun!

I spread my wings and tried flapping them a bit. They looked good today; it was certainly a good decision to clean them once in a while. Marisa helped a lot, too.

While jogging around the tree, my thoughts suddenly got stuck on Marisa. She was one of my first friends in the orphanage, if I could say so; we grew up together. I remembered my first day at the Celestial Light: everypony had looked so glum and silent. Not even a single foal had approached me and said ‘hello’. She did. She always greeted new kids. She had this talent of seeing the void in other’s hearts. For the foals who lost their parents, that void had to be filled ASAP.

I didn’t need any help. The void had never been a problem for me—I never actually had a family. Heck, I barely knew my mother. All I know about her is that she had died three days after giving birth. That’s what the doctors told me, when I was… six years, I think. They were quite stupid, those docs. Good thing I didn’t understood what ‘cardiac failure’ meant at that age.

My father was a mysterious figure. I didn’t know anything about him—nopony did. Even when the landlords had shoved my and mom’s things into my hooves, I hadn’t found any evidence of him, not a single photo or diaries, nothing. Now, at times, when I felt shitty, I wonder if I even was a wanted child; mom might’ve been a lie-about-mare or… something bad happened.

Marisa always asked me about my family, wanted me to tell her how I remember them. So what ought I tell her? I just avoided the conversation. But that damn earth pony would never lie off, never fall back until I’d relent. And I loved her for it.

I should probably get a present for her, too. I didn’t have too many ideas, but maybe she would be satisfied with a huge cake.

A quiet snicker escaped my mouth when I jumped over a snow bank. A thought flashed through my head: would Marisa allow me to drink on her 18th birthday? That would be cool, though, Rainbow Dash had always told me that cool ponies never had addictions; I just wanted to try a sip. Beer, wine, vodka—didn’t matter. I just wanted to try some and then forget about it.

I stopped, kicking up a pile of snow and barely keeping my balance. That speed was great. I gotta remember it; maybe it would give me enough updraft for a nice take-off.

2 PM.

I was quite surprised. Rainbow was late—that was something new! She was supposed to be here by 13:00 flat, but…

This was weird. After estimating the time by the position of the sun, I approached the beaten tree, tightened the scarf around my neck a little more and sat down into the snow. A spasm quickly shot up my backside, but soon, I got used to the cold and just sat there, looking around. This was strange, but maybe Dash was busy saving Equestria and all that. Otherwise she would be here already.

I relaxed, realizing I was worrying for naught. Nothing bad happened, just another disaster in some Celestia-forgotten corner of Equestria. Besides, maybe that would actually be a benefit—I could train some more! I would be able to perform at my best when she’d actually arrive. Yes, another circle round the tree, here we go!

“What’s taking her so bloody long?!” I shouted into nothingness. My hooves hurt, my entire body was covered in sweat, and every time the wind blew, I felt a chill run down my spine.

To say that I was distressed was an understatement. But really, it was already 5 PM! What the serious hell?

Talking to myself was the most tame thing I wanted to do right now. Whatever was taking her so long needed to die immediately. That stupid villain or a stupid lesson needed to be ended, so she could come to me! She promised!

“Urgh,” I grumbled under my nose and looked at the tree. It looked quite climbable. Maybe…

A crazy idea came to mind: climb the tree and sit there. My ass was getting frozen from this snow, and jogging didn’t help anymore. I needed some more activity, and this seemed like a good thing to do. Hah, maybe Rainbow would arrive and see me on the top of the tree. She would be amazed.

I just had to remember one thing: no wings. Not that I was careless, but still, anything could happen. I carefully put my hooves on the tiny protrusions on the surface of the trunk, slowly making my way up. I was quite a good climber, as it turned out. Maybe I could earn my cutie mark as an alpinist.

Definitely should add this to the list. The girls would be so excited! We could, maybe, get some climbing equipment and climb the mountain upon which the dragon had lived. That would be kick-ass!

The tree felt conquered as I stood upon it as I would upon a corpse of a freshly slain dragon. I really felt great when a breeze set my scarf in motion and ruined my manestyle. This was something new and refreshing.

“Woo-hoo!” I let out a loud scream, letting the whole world know how I felt.

The accomplishment made me feel a little better. After all, I was one step closer to my goal, closer to the sky.

I couldn’t wait to fly. I know it was going happen—better sooner than later.

The sun was long gone, and the moon had taken over the sky. Thousands of stars, like spilt milk on a black cloth, were sparkling in the distance. I sucked at metaphors.

I felt frozen, abandoned and alone. It was around 1 AM, I assumed, and Rainbow Dash hadn’t shown up. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what to think, even. I’ve been waiting for so long… so long. Everypony at the orphanage was probably worried…

I refused. I just refused to believe she wouldn’t come… but I ran out of explanations. Whatever held her back from coming, I… I just had no idea what it was. Why? Why didn’t she come? Where was she?!

I rose, gritting my teeth, refusing to believe my own thoughts. No, she would come, and we would have fun! I just needed to wait, it was a test!

Yes, a test of loyalty: a true friend would always wait for you, even if it’d take all the time in the universe. I had to pass this test. I couldn’t disappoint Rainbow Dash! I was her number one fan. She promised, so she would come, eventually, but she would come—I knew that for sure.

And yet, the doubt in my heart wouldn’t just let me be. They kept eating away at my thoughts, poisoning the good image of Rainbow Dash. What if she forgot? What if she had a bigger number one fan? What if she was never going to come?

Bullcrap, I assured myself. She was the bestest and coolest pony in the world; cool ponies never betrayed their friends! She said that herself!

My stomach rumbled, as I hadn’t even eaten since breakfast. With pain and regret in my heart I remembered the three ‘borrowed’ muffins. What an idiot, Scoots, you just left them to Irma! How stupid are you?

Grr, I couldn’t stand this stillness. It was like the whole world was waiting for something, but that wasn’t fucking helpful! Instead of giving me a clue—rustling of branches, distant flaps of her wings—anything would be more helpful than fucking nothing!

Calm down, Scoots, just calm down. There was no need to swear that much. Nothing bad was happening. She just was a little late.

“A little late? Yeah, no, fuck off!” I cussed at myself out loud. A little late? More like super fucking late.

The wind blew once more, a little stronger than usual. The tree wasn’t too thick, so several branches were swinging harder than others. One of them started poking me right in the face.

I swung my hoof at it, hoping that it would break and leave me alone, but instead, it buckled under the pressure and just slashed me across the face, leaving a burning pain and the feeling of hot liquid trailing down my cheek.

I didn’t know what happened to me then. I just… blew up.

“Argh, you fucking piece of shit! What the fuck?!” I growled, stood up on my branch and ferociously struck the opposing branch, hoping to snap it in half.

This branch embodied all of it: this damn cold, this fucking motionless world. Whatever was holding Rainbow Dash from coming to me was in this branch as well, and I was going to murder it!

I growled further insults at the inanimate object, swinging both of my hooves in its direction this time, but the branch just wouldn’t break. It only continued to poke me in the face.

It just so happened that a little drop of my blood flowed into my mouth. I didn’t notice it at first, among the sweat, but that metallic, salty taste was unmistakable.

I yelled at the top of my lungs and hit the branch once more, putting all the frustration I built up into my effort. At last, it gave away, and my ears were greeted with the sweet sound of the cracking wood.

I swear, I could fucking orgasm to that sound. After all the hours I’d spent here, just hearing some action, some motion, felt like a blessing. The sound continued to resonate in my ears, filling my heart with such pleasure that I could barely hold my feelings.

I let out a relieved moan, and sat down on the branch. My brain continued to play the cracking in my mind over and over again, making me feel better and better. Though, at times, that sound felt just too real and too loud.

Suddenly, I felt my ‘ground’ give away. Had I not instinctively spread my wings for balance, I would’ve already been falling. The branch I was sitting on snapped and plummeted down into the ground, along with me.

I quickly flapped my wings, using all my inner reserves that hadn’t been wasted on my training earlier to keep myself afloat. For a moment, the fall stopped. I was hanging above the ground, hovering, every careless movement threatening to break my ‘flight’ and send me into the ground.

“Whew…” I sighed with relief and tried turning, hoping to reach another branch before I’d get tired and fall. But at least the crisis was averted.

And yet again, my tongue was my enemy, as were my wings: I felt them get weaker and cease working before I could reach the branch.

Getting closer to the tree had been a bad idea, as I reached out for something to hold on and stop my fall. The little protrusions that had helped me so much in climbing this tree cut mercilessly into my skin, leaving a huge scratch.

Pain pierced my hoof, and I instinctively took it away from the surface of the tree, which, as the laws of free-falling dictated, made me spiral into the ground.

I managed to somehow angle myself and landed on my shoulder. The cold snow quickly chilled me to the bone, but at least it softened the fall.

At first, I felt like it was over. I felt as if nothing had happened. But I only needed to flinch.

“Argh! Shit!” I screamed loudly, as pain pierced my shoulder. I felt it echo through my body like a scream in the giant cave.

“Ra- Rainbow—” I spoke, raising my eyes to the sky, even though every single movement, even speaking, caused the pain in the shoulder to explode. “P- please… I need you!” I begged, looking at the wide, pale moon.

It seemed I dislocated my shoulder… or, in the worst case, it was broken, because it hurt like shit.

“Rainbow Dash! He- Help! Help me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, my vocal cords straining to their maximum, until my voice was hoarse.

“Please… I need you… I need you,” I coughed out a quiet rattle. Something wet, something very warm was gathering in my eyes, and the first drop of it fell into the snow.

This wasn’t how cool ponies acted. Cool ponies didn’t cry. Cool ponies didn’t call for help. Cool ponies never break!

I tried moving my foreleg, but the instant I even flinched, it sent another spasm of pain through my body. I was not getting up any time soon.

“Rainbo-o-ow!” I rattled, finally letting myself go, hiding my face in the pile of snow. “Why did you leave me-e? Why didn’t come? I was waiting for yo-ou!.... I still am!”

Crying bitterly into the snow, I forgot about everything. About all our training, about our friendship. Only bitter sorrow remained, along with the words:

SHE ABANDONED YOU!

I opened my eyes, feeling goosebumps all over my body. No, they weren’t because I felt cold… This voice was so strange. It came out of… everywhere at once. Left, right, down, up…

I looked up, and suddenly saw a shadowy figure, flapping its wings, flying quickly to my aid, no doubt.

Through tears, I smiled. I was ready to laugh and dance at the same time - it was Rainbow! She had come for me! She was here!

“Rainbow! I’m here!” I tried to alert her, but my throat spasmed with pain, and all that came out was a petty whisper. But it didn’t seem like she needed any warning - she was already flying towards me.

I quickly swiped the tears off my face. She must not see me like this. Pretend like nothing happened. Nothing was wrong.

“Who treads there?” A familiar voice reached my ears, and my shadowy savior landed right in front of me. “Sco...Scootaloo? Was it you screaming?”

The moonlight gave me a good perspective to see this mare from top of her tuft and the tips of her hooves. Golden coat, cyan mane… It was anypony, but Rainbow Dash.

“You… aren’t Rainbow Dash.” I said, staring at Raindrops. She could barely hear my voice, so she moved closer.

“What? I can’t hear you? What are you doing here?” She looked at me, and suddenly turned pale. “Are you hurt? Oh, sweet Celestia, what have you done to yourself?”

What I had done? What I had done? I didn’t do fucking anything! I went here, and waited for my best friend in the whole entire world to come to me and spend Hearths Warming, one of the most important days in the world, with me! I waited! I waited! And she didn’t fucking come!

I didn’t know, where Rainbow Dash was, and I didn’t care. Bitter, cold anger filled my heart and tears gushed out of my eyes once more.

“Scootaloo, you’re hurt!” Raindrops declared, after taking a brief look at me. “I need to get you to hospital, that might be dangerous.”

Hospital?! I didn’t want a fucking hospital! I wanted fucking Rainbow Dash! I didn’t come here just for this stupid whore to drag me to some fucked hospital!

SET ME FREE! RELEASE ME!

I covered my head with an uninjured hoof and screamed, trying to silence this voice in my head, forgetting about my throat. It reminded me of itself with pain.

Pain. Pain was everywhere. No matter what I did, I felt pain. No matter whom I listened to, I felt pain. No matter, whom I trusted or loved, I felt only pain.

Pain. Pain! Pain all over the fucking place!

PAIN! YES!

And again that voice was driving me fucking crazy! I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Rainbow Dash! Give me Rainbow Dash! Give me Rainbow Dash!” I repeated again and again, tearing my throat. Raindrops panicked, as she couldn’t understand what I was saying. Her face turned ever paler, and she started looking around.

“What is wrong with you, child? Oh, sweet heavens!” She kissed me on the forehead. “You’re all burning. Just how long had you been here? No, I need to get you out of here.”

She wrapped her hooves around me, and tried to pick me up. After all I’ve been through, she would just take me away? Fuck off!

“Let us go!” I screamed, but this voice I suddenly had was… strange. It wasn’t mine, it was… somepony’s… something else’s.

Raindrops looked at me with shock. Suddenly, something urged me to lunge at her and rip into her neck with my teeth. She didn’t utter even a sound, still shocked, when I ripped a small part of her flesh and jumped out of her grasp.

My heart was pumping, my skin turned sweaty. I just couldn’t understand what I was doing: it wasn’t me. Something was controlling me!

The taste of her blood made me want to vomit, but I couldn’t spit it out. I couldn’t even move! Even the smallest movement required a great deal of my strength, and soon my body just stopped responding.

The pain was tearing my nerves, but I was still standing. At that very moment, I finally realized - I wasn’t the master of my own body anymore.

AT LAST!

This voice… It rocketed through my brain. It took me just a moment that this voice… was the reason for my behaviour.

“Scoo...taloo… wh...why… what?” Raindrops whispered, holding her wound. It wasn’t too deep or serious, she was more hurt by the very fact that I attacked her. But I didn’t! I would never do that. It wasn’t me! I didn’t do that!

“Your heart is mine!” This monster… I spoke, growling ferociously. Suddenly, I felt something stirring and beating on my back. If only I could turn around and look…

My wings started jerking uncontrollably, twisting and morphing. They grew larger and larger the more they moved, and soon, I was able to see what they were transforming into.

Two large tentacles swoop through the air, waving at Raindrops, as if threatening to attack her. A moment later, from the smoking darkness, eyes formed on these massive black tendrils.

They stared at Raindrops with hungry looks, as their mouths started to morph as well. The left one had a huge open smile, for its mouth was full of razor sharp teeth, stuck on each other, preventing it from ever closing its mouth. The other had a massive thick jaw, and looked more like a living hammer, than a head.

Poor Raindrops stared at this monstrocity, backing away slowly. The blood was running down her chest, and it seemed to be enthralling the heads… and me.

KILL HER NOW! FEAST ON HER HEART!

My body obeyed this wretched command, and the smiling head lunged at Raindrops, plunging its teeth deep into her hindleg. It had almost endless length, seeing as it stretched out far enough to bite her, even though there was at least half a meter between Randrops and me.

Terror filled every fiber of my being, and I desperately fought for control for my body. But whatever I did, I couldn’t feel anything but pain, striking my brain.

What the fuck was I supposed to do? I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t even fucking blink on my own! This thing, this… monster had full control of me! I tried to save Raindrops, I really wanted to save her, but… but I…

The head raised Raindrops up into the air, holding the pony steadily. She screamed loudly, but every movement caused the monster’s teeth to rip even deeper into her flesh.

“Help!” She finally started to yell, making my ears hurt. “Help me! Anypony, please! Aaaaah!”

The mare showed her true self… But I didn’t blame her at all. In fact, I envied her, because she could scream. I was forced to watch instead.

“Silence,!” ‘I’ growled, and the head with the wide jaw lunged forwards, approached the pony’s face and… crawled right into her mouth, as she was screaming. Her voice quickly turned to rattles and groans, as the tentacle got deeper and deeper into her mouth, forcing its way in, as the head’s jaw was obviosly too wide to just fit through.

I really wanted to vomit, but this force didn’t let me. “Please, let me just turn away! Don’t force me to watch!” I thought… and then… it replied.

NO! WATCH, FEEL, REMEMBER!

Raindrops couldn’t handle much more of this torture, as her body started to flinch, her organism was obviously going to vomit, but the demon head was already in her stomach, as I saw something large twisting in her belly. It kept on leaning, as if it was about to tear through her chest, like some kind of a parasite.

Finally, it happened, and the head popped out of her chest, breaking the ribs and ripping the flesh. It was covered in blood and gastric juice, and even more gushed out of the wound when it retreated through her body back to its original place.

For a moment, instead of pain, I felt endless spasms of pleasure run through my body. I knew this feeling - and my friends knew it too, though they refused to admit it. This thing… it…

It got off at killing. Murders were turning it on.

YEEES! MORE! I NEED MORE!

The smiling head smashed Raindrop’s body against the tree. Nopony could survive such punishment, and yet, when ‘I’ started walking towards her, Raindrops was still breathing. Her chest was barely going up and down, and warm air escaped her mouth.

I wanted to cry. Cry and scream. I just couldn’t bear to watch this. This was too brutal, too monstrous. How could anything do this to another living being? The worst realization being that I was technically doing it…

“You are mine,” ‘I’ said, and sent the smiling head forth. It opened its maw and cut into Raindrops’s chest, like knife cuts into butter. Horrid sounds of bones and flesh being chewed reached my ears, and, at last, the head returned, carrying its terrible prize in its mouth - the pony’s heart.

It gushed blood all over me. I felt the red liquid pour all over my face and into my eyes. It sent more and more spasms of pleasure through my body, making me literally shake. And it couldn’t stop, it just would stop.

Finally, the head swallowed the heart, champing loudly. It even uttered something akin to a purr when the heart was sliding down inside its long, black, slick body.

I AM YOUR FRIEND, SCOOTALOO! YOUR GUIDE! WALK WITH ME!

It felt like my body just froze for a moment, and then I collapsed on the ground. The demons heads quickly shrinked in size, and in just one minute they were gone, turned back into my ruffled, little wings.

At last, I was back in control of my body. What was the first thing I did? I ran.

I ran as fast as I could, away from what happened, away from the body. But it didn’t matter as Raindrops’s still, empty, dead eyes were forever stuck in my memory. Her lifeless, pale face, in the puddle of her own blood. I couldn’t forget… I couldn’t erase it.

And I couldn’t run away either. How could I run away from myself?

SOON... YOU SHALL ME MINE, SCOOTALOO! STOP RUNNING! ACCEPT ME!

EMBRACE THE DARKNESS!

Ready to be a hero

My stomach kept on churning and my limbs were shaking from cold as I slowly trotted through the empty corridors of the orphanage. I couldn’t recall how I’d gotten here. When I tried, everything was so blurry… I kept hearing voices and screams. I kept hearing Raindrops, kept seeing her… ripped apart by those things.

I felt so much relief when I saw the door leading to the bathroom. I hurried up and burst inside. The bile inside kept on rising, and I barely managed to lean over the edge of the toilet before I threw up.

The maniacal voice kept echoing in my ears and the images of Raindrops’ gruesome death repeated over again and again. How did it all come to this? What the hell happened?!

My body trembled with every wave of bile, and it just wouldn’t stop. I grabbed on to the edge of the seat to keep myself steady. Tears sprinkled out of my eyes.

Just how much more pathetic I could feel? At this very moment, I felt like a little squashed cockroach, crawling through piles of trash. I wanted to die, I wanted to smash my skull against the seat of this bloody toilet and let my brains drown in the water, but I couldn’t. I was far too scared.

What if this’d be discovered? What if ponies found Raindrops? What would they think? I couldn’t wrap my brain around it: it just refused to work, it refused to cooperate. I closed my eyes and spew out more bile.

After what felt like an eternity, the haze faded and I could form coherent thoughts again. My stomach was still contracting, but there was nothing to push out anymore and I backed away from the toiled and slumped on the floor. Its coldness didn’t even faze me as I stared on the ceiling and cried, cried bitterly, cried silently.

I prayed to Luna for this to turn out to be a dream. Every second, I expected the alicorn of the night to appear and wake me up… but it wouldn’t happen. Her voice wouldn’t touch my ears, and only the muffled sounds of crying and sobbing kept echoing through the bathroom.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO RAINDROPS? WHAT A SHAME!

The voice made me swallow my tears and look around in fear. This voice… this fucking voice had been resonating in my head when the heads were tearing Raindrops apart. I quickly rose up and looked around, looking for any sign of paranormal activity.

“Who are you?! What do you want?” I asked, trying to keep myself firm, but my voice betrayed me. It sounded whiny, shaky. “What the fuck do you want with me?”

There was no answer. I slowly looked around, and when the voice hadn’t replied, I felt relieved for a moment—which lasted only until I felt more vomit crawling up my throat. Thankfully, I managed to get to the toilet and dump the remaining parts of my breakfast there, instead of the floor.

My stomach contracted a few more times, the vomit leaving a putrid taste in my mouth, but at least I stopped throwing up. I tottered away from the toiled and sat down, trying to calm myself down.

“It will all be okay, all will be okay,” I said. “Nothing will be wrong. It’s okay, it’s fucking okay!“

‘Okay’ was the last word I would use to describe this situation. It was not fucking okay. Nothing was fucking okay! The fact that I’d had fucking demon heads for wings is not bloody okay!

I gritted my teeth, trying not to go completely mad. I had this really annoying way of throwing a tantrum: fall on my belly, cry loudly and smack the floor with my hooves till they’d bleed. Right now, the last thing I needed was attention.

As I crawled towards the bath tub, I thought about Raindrops. I didn’t know much about her, but I knew enough to feel like shit. I didn’t just kill a pony, I killed my best friend’s hope for a normal life.

No! No! I didn’t kill her. Those things did! They’d controlled me! Made me do it—forced me to watch as they got off at ripping her apart.

I crawled into the bath tub and turned the water on. Thankfully, the piece of shit still worked and a barrage of cold water spurted into my face from above. My first impulse was to withdraw from the stream, but I forced myself to remain.

The water washed away some of the thoughts, along with the blood that was covering me. When I opened my eyes and looked at the crimson streaks in the water running towards the drain, I felt sick.

The water continued to pour all over me, and it was right then that I noticed that my scarf had disappeared somewhere. I looked around, checking half-heartedly if I’d dropped it somewhere in the bathroom, but there were no signs of it. After a second of scanning the room, I abandoned the search, deeming it unnecessary. I must have dropped it on the way to the orphanage, or when I was climbing over the fence, I don’t know! It was so damn dark that I could barely see my nose, let alone notice my scarf get stuck on some branch.

I really should cut down on swearing. It would be matter of months before I start swearing out loud before my friends and Miss Cheerilee.

After the cold shower, I got out of the tub and, soaking wet, shambled to the sink. Even though water was dripping from me, I still felt the need to shove my face into something refreshing.

I turned the water on and started washing the dirt off my hooves. The second I felt my face getting dry, I splashed some water on my face.

That felt so good. For some reason, water had a magnificent power to take away your worries—ideal. With my eyes closed, I savoured every moment of the water slowly running down my fur and then falling on the floor. At that very moment, I felt somewhat relieved.

“This is all just a fucking dream, Scootaloo…. Just a shitty day.” I said to myself and opened my eyes.

My blood turned cold and my heart stopped beating as I gazed into the eyes of the most horrifying monster I have ever seen.

In the mirror, there was me… but this ‘me’ was different. Her face had festering scars on its cheeks and nose and its ears were ragged and torn. I managed to get a glimpse of its body and saw dozens of horrible cuts and gashes, which looked like they had been inflicted by a hatchet. Her mane looked dry and full of lice. When this monster opened its mouth, I saw not a tongue, but lump of it, with the rest of the tongue missing, clearly torn away, judging by the scars.

But the worst sight was its... her eyes. There were none. There were only two empty eye sockets. The darkness in these halls seemed to be alive, as it felt like these...’eyes’ were sucking in all the light like miniature black holes.

The thing tilted its head to the right and smiled at me, baring its small, sharp teeth.

“Hi, Scootaloo! Tackled the day, haven’t ya?!” It spoke in my voice. I opened my eyes widely, feeling as if I had just said those words. “Why you looking so scared? Swallowed your tongue?”

I pushed myself away from the sink and fell on my back, the pain in my shoulder suddenly coming back at this moment and piercing me with thousand of needles. I gritted my teeth, suppressed a shriek, and started crawling away to the opposite wall, staring at the mirror like a paralyzed puppet.

HIDE, STUPID PUPPET! IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!

The voice angrily shrieked in my head, and I instinctively grabbed my poor head, tears dripping from my eyes more than ever.

“Shut up! Shut up! Please, shut up! Please, stop it!”

YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE SILENCE ITSELF.

I bit my tongue and collapsed on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. I could no longer speak or move. My stomach churned, feeling as if I had swallowed a cockroach.

“Please… leave me alone… let me die…” I begged, thinking that death was the only release from this nightmare.

DEATH IS NO LONGER SOMETHING YOU NEED TO BE AFRAID OF. DEATH IS... GONE!

THERE IS NO DEATH... THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS!

The voice continued to maniacally cackle in my ears as I tried to get up. My skull was shrieking with mind numbing pain, as I looked into the mirror, at my deformed self. In the reflection, I saw those monstrous demon heads lean closer to the mutilated, eyeless grin of my clone, and smile.

WE ARE ONE BIG FAMILY NOW.

“No!” I screamed at the top of my voice, resisted the temptation to smash the mirror or throw something at it, and stormed out of the bathroom, my coat still soaked. I didn’t care about all the mess I had left behind, I just wanted to collapse into the bed and die. I prayed for a quick and swift death. I prayed for this nightmare to end.

I couldn’t stop whimpering as I trotted through the darkness, shivering and shaking. Even as I lied down on my bed and hid myself under the blanket, I couldn’t stop crying. And through my cries, my whimpers, I heard the demonic cackle reverberating in my ears.

***

“Scootaloo? Scootaloo. Scootaloo!” I heard an unclear voice. It sounded like it was coming from far away. I struggled to open my eyes as my eyelids felt heavy as solid metal chunks, but even when I managed to, I still saw nothing but blurry outlines of my surroundings.

“Scootaloo! Wake up, you sleepy head.” The voice became clearer, and I recognized Marisa. I carefully turned around and looked back at her, seeing her gentle smile change to a nervous expression.

“What?” I asked in a hoarse, rude voice, feeling the scratching pain in my throat. Marisa’s expression did not change, and I assumed that my face must look about as good as the reflection in the mirror. Wait, the mirror. Did that mean I didn’t actually look like that if Marisa wasn’t screaming bloody murder at seeing me?

I leaned over a bit, and looked at the clock: 8:00 and I still felt like collapsing and sleeping on. That was what tipped Marisa off. Usually, I was the first to wake up.

“Scoots, do you feel okay? You look very sick,” Marisa said, reaching out for me with a hoof, but I made a jerking motion, and she stopped. “You look… so pale!”

If only I could see myself. Though, after what happened yesterday, I’d prefer to stay away from mirrors as far as possible.

“Oh? Really?” I asked, trying to talk as quietly as possible. This throat was killing me! I didn’t even remember freezing or shouting that much yesterday.

Yesterday. It felt like a distant nightmare now… But I knew it was real. It was far too real to be a dream.

Yesterday… Wait, didn’t I break my shoulder yesterday when I fell? Then… why was the pain so weak, a weak, dumb, nagging pain instead of a sharp burn whenever I’d move? I tried jerking my allegedly broken shoulder… and all I felt was dumb, nagging pain.

This didn’t make sense. How could I get well so fast? Did ‘it’ have something to do with it?

“Scootaloo? Are you listening to me?” Marisa distracted me and I turned to her, realizing I had just been ignoring everything she had said in reply to my question.

“Ugh… of course… go on,” I said, trying to imitate a smile, but all that I managed to put up was a stupid grin.

“You don’t look too good,” Marisa said and touched my forehead without my consent, checking the temperature. “Sweet Celestia, you have a fever!”

“Oh… okay…” I replied with an unusual apathy in my voice. No idea why, but my condition didn’t really bother me. I just wanted to be left alone.

“I think you should stay in bed for today. I’ll talk with the nanny, okay?” she offered and I silently nodded thereto. I felt incredibly lethargic. I couldn’t even crawl if I tried, let alone walk.

“Yeah, okay… okay…” I replied, my body shuddering and my stomach churning. One would think I should have gotten over it now…

Marisa looked at me, sighed, and sat down on my bed. The old construction creaked dangerously, the wood threatening to snap at any moment under the weight of us two.

“So…” she began, rubbing her neck. “How did your Hearth Warming go? Did you meet your Rainbow Dash?”

I immediately got the urge to vomit right there when I heard that name. I would prefer any, any name in the world, but that one. Right now, the very letters in it made me cringe.

I muttered something in reply, wheezing the words into my blanket. Marisa’s ear jerked a little as she struggled to understand even a single word.

“Could you… repeat that again?” she asked. My reply was to groan something and hide my face in the pillow, in the hope she would leave me alone. The poor pony sighed and got off my bed.

“I see you’re in no mood to talk, and… I really have to go now. I’ll visit you later, after breakfast.” She smiled at me. “Don’t worry, I’ll snatch some cupcakes for you, just as you always do.”

I wanted to refuse her offer, as my stomach couldn’t even handle the saliva I was swallowing, my gag reflex kicking in constantly, but I just let her proceed.

“Don’t get out of bed until you feel better!” Marisa decreed, closing the door behind her as she left, leaving me alone with my misery.

What else was there to do than dream? Dreaming, imagining how things should and could have been, instead of how they were. This was my primary source of entertainment. When I was sick, grounded, or anything else, I wandered into my dreams and hopes.

Other foals had Game Colts and arcades to give themselves some visual entertainment. Our only visual entertainment was our poor environment.

I didn’t complain too often, only when I really felt like shit. Right now was the perfect opportunity for me to complain and dream of things. Maybe imagining myself in a Wonderbolt costume, flying through the clouds like a lightning bolt, shattering the barriers of speed, would take me away from the previous night and Her, that treacherous pony.

The more happy images I let into my head, the calmer and collected I became. I never doubted this technique of mine; it had always helped me relax before, why wouldn’t it now?

Heeey… A silent, muffled whisper reached my ears and I opened my eyes widely, my heart skipping a beat before starting to bang in my chest like it’d been kick-started. Heeeey…

I felt petrified, sweat running down my forehead and my hooves shaking uncontrollably. What was this whisper? Who was it? Where was the whisperer? Was he even in this room? No, I was alone! Then who? Who?

I’m talking to you, Scoots! The voice finally became clear as I felt my heart stop. The voice was no other than mine.

“Wh- who...Who’s that?” I mumbled, my lips trembling. I dreaded what would happen next, and the worst thing happened: it replied.

Wow, I’m a little silly at times, am I not? The other me said, her voice sounding clear in my head. It’s me, Scootaloo! Scootaloo, meet Scootaloo! Weird, isn’t it? It giggled. But how else should I call myself?

“Where are you?! How are you talking to me?!” I said, turning my head around, looking for any possible shadowy figure, but the room was empty.

I’m in your head, duh! It proclaimed matter-of-factly. Where else should I be? In the wall? On the ceiling? Or, no, wait, outside the window! Yes, I’m a little birdie, flying past your window!

This voice was so painfully alike to mine, and it also sounded so damn playful, so happy, as if it enjoyed seeing me like this!

And the very fact that I was talking to the voice in my head. Yeah, there was that. Have I really gone mad?

Jokes aside: I’m you, Scoots. The second Scoots. Scoots the Second. Any name would fit as long as it’s awesome! My imaginary friend said playfully.

“Second Scoots… Scoots the Second… Stop, stop, stop!” I said out loud and got up from my bed, slowly, fighting my sickness. “Please, before we call each other names… explain to me: what has happened to me and why are you in my head?”

That’s a lot of questions, other me said. But since you’re a little lost, frightened, and confused, I’ll answer some of them. Only some: explaining is not fun, so I won’t be doing too much of it!

Other me was a prick.

First: what has happened to you. Let me congratulate you: you are now the host! My voice exclaimed excitedly. I can’t see you cheering!

“The… host? Of what?”

My voice suddenly turned quiet for a moment.

I can only tell you the name. You are now the host of an ancient being called the Darkness. It said in a half melancholic, half excited tone. It comes with many benefits… and some drawbacks.

“Benefits?! What benefits can there be?!” It all started to make sense. I was possessed. So, that was the voice in my head, the voice that made me kill Raindrops. The Darkness. “This fucking Darkness is a mad murderer!”

Hush! Shut up! My voice shouted at me. Don’t insult it! It doesn’t like it!

I wanted to spill out a rant filled with cuss words, but the voice interrupted me.

You’re lucky we’re talking during the day. The Darkness hates light. It’s powerless in the day. That’s why you can’t hear it, It said with positive attitude. I, on the other hoof, can talk to you at any moment I desire. I’m you, after all!

“And that brings the subject to you. Why are you in my head? Why couldn’t I hear you before?” I asked, licking my lips, but my tongue was rather dry.

Well… it’s difficult to explain… I don’t really know the details. You see, I and Darkness are… well, we’re connected, but… I’m a part of it, the voice said reluctantly, as if weighing each word. I cannot exist without it.

That explanation seemed too alienating to me that I wanted it to clarify, when the voice, as if reading my thoughts, stopped me.

Don’t ask. Even I have no idea how that works, It murmured. And don’t ask me why you are the host. I don’t know. I simply don’t know.

Other me was rather specific in its answers. However, it was better than nothing. At least I got some clarification. But I had to learn more: how to get rid of it, how to get this monster away from me.

“Listen… the night yesterday… when…” I started talking, my voice shivering at the sight of gruesome memories.

Raindrops died. Gruesome sight, I have to say… The Darkness sure knows its stuff. I couldn’t figure out whether other me was making a compliment or stating the obvious about the horror. The Darkness craves death and suffering. It gains power by devouring the hearts of its victims. That’s why your shoulder healed up so quickly.

I touched my shoulder, feeling a weak spasm of pain.

But it’s not as bad as it seems. Sure, the Darkness isn’t very pleasant, but being a host has a lot of benefits! The voice repeated. For example, you can master its powers, and assume its form without being taken over! Then imagine all kinds of stuff you can do!

You can travel very fast! Use the demon heads to fight! Rip your foes apart and devour their hearts to become stronger! It described with delight. You can help so many ponies, become a super hero, a Filly-Do-Well!

The painful realization of the sheer brutality and power that was now hiding inside me was battling my eternal dream of fame, glory and heroism. The voice knew what to say. My thoughts shifted from the murder to me being glorious. And it didn’t matter how much I shouted at myself that it was a horrible idea, I couldn’t get my dreams out of my head.

Maybe, just maybe, being a host… was a blessing?

I felt disgust for myself. What was I thinking?! This… Darkness killed Raindrops! It was evil, brutal, hungry for flesh, and I was calling it a blessing? I wanted to hurt myself so badly for thinking that.

Come on, I can teach you these tricks! Just imagine what you’ll be able to do. You’ll be strong, fast, awesome! You’ll be more awesome than any Wonderbolt in existance!

The voice had a point, such a good point. I hated myself, I berated myself for this, but I shifted my allegiance and decided: just one try. Maybe I could subdue its powers. Maybe I could surf through the library and find a way to control it. Then, I’d make up for what it did. Yes! That was a great idea!

However, I still had to be cautious. Diving into the Darkness seemed foolish, even for me, so I decided to take it slowly.

“Okay, I agree. Teach me how to control this thing,” I enunciated, and the voice seemed replied in a childish, giddy voice which I hadn’t known my voice was capable of.

Sweet! I promise, you won’t be disappointed! However… right now, we cannot do anything. We’ll have to wait till nightfall. I nodded.

“Okay… and what do I do until nightfall?” My rumbling belly answered the question for me.

Do anything you feel like doing! The voice said dismissingly and fell silent, so I decided to go to the canteen and grab myself something to eat.

After the conversation with the voice was over, I really felt better. My new goals suppressed the horror before the dark power, but I couldn’t fight back the feeling of guilt, the face of Raindrops, her dying breath, and the happy muzzle of Marisa, who had just been taking care of me, having no idea what I had been forced to observe

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I was the victim, the victim of a monster inside me. Marisa would understand if she were to find out… But, just in case, I had to make sure she wouldn’t… Never…

Walking to the canteen didn’t feel the same anymore. Every inch, every step was like treading into another reality. The walls, which I’d come to know every inch of, no longer looked familiar. It felt as if everything had changed… or maybe it was just me.

Can you go faster? You could always mope about your tragic fate later! The voice decided to butt into my inner, angsty monologue. I did not reply as I was close enough to others who could hear me.

Trying to be as quiet and unnoticeable as possible, I walked past the ponies who were just having their breakfast, and couldn’t help the feeling that these ponies, most of whom I personally knew, had changed. They just felt different.

Mmmhhmm… My inner voice muttered a sound that resembled purring. It certainly enjoyed seeing other ponies for a reason I didn’t quite get.

“Could you stop it?” I hissed quietly, hoping that others wouldn’t hear. “Your constant murmurs don’t help me concentrate.”

Sorry… there’s just so much food here... it said, sending shivers running down my spine. To preserve my mental health, I wanted to assume it was talking about the grey mass of porridge that the other foals were eating.

I took a tray and entered the queue, waiting for my turn to get the ‘delicious’ grey goo. It had always smelled sickeningly bad, but today, it smelled even worse.

“Scoots!” I heard Marisa’s voice and turned to her. Judging by her expression, she wasn’t happy with me being out of bed.

“I’m feeling better,” I quickly responded to her angry gaze. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Porridge or vegetables?” the sickly cook asked, looking at me with his emotionless, muddy eyes, not even noticing that I was engaged in a conversation. I turned away from Marisa and silently pointed at the soup, since water with raw vegetables was better than grey vomit splattered all over the dish.

“Scootaloo, go back to bed,” Marisa said firmly. I watched the cook pour some boiled water into the bowl before turning to her.

“I will. Just let me have my breakfast,” I replied, but she continued to leer at me with her angry eyes. It almost made me feel guilty. Almost.

Hmm, Marisa… At times I think we should grab ourselves a glass of wine, get together and have some good ol’ sinful sex! My inner voice sing-songed, which irritated me. I wanted to reply with some cuss words, but talking to myself was not a good idea right now.

Shit, the image of Marisa with a wine glass on a bed would never leave my head now.

“Scootaloo, you have a fever. You should go to bed at once!” Marisa said, which seemed to wake the ponies in the queue from some stupor. They hurried up to get their food and leave as far away from me as possible.

“It’s not a fever, just a weak cold. Relax,” I tried to soothe her, and started walking away. Marisa sighed and accompanied me to the table. Hopefully, she realized that I wasn’t going back to bed till I’d gotten my belly stuffed with this disgusting stuff.

“I’ll get you to the doctor immediately after breakfast. I’m pretty sure this is not a common cold… After all, Celestia knows when you came back. I’ve been dying to ask what took you so long…” Marisa said in that motherly manner of hers, looking at her tray. “You don’t have to tell if you don’t want to…”

I stayed quiet and continued eating my vegetables. I just didn’t have anything to say. I really just wanted to forget…

“Well, okay then… Enjoy your breakfast.” Marisa said and got to eating her food, but not before throwing her mane back so that her long butter yellow mane wouldn’t get in the way. Raindrops’ feather was still fixated in her hair, which made me feel nauseous. I suddenly felt like collapsing on the floor and shouting the truth, but I pulled myself together, remembered my thoughts from earlier.

It’ll all be cool. Be cool and everything will be cool, my inner voice chirped.

“Yeah… I’m cool,” I whispered.

“What was that?” Marisa immediately brightened up, thinking I was about to spill out my thoughts.

“Nothing… you’re just… pretty today.” I tried excusing my whispers with a random excuse and it seemed to work.

“Oh… thanks… Strange hearing that from you, though.” Marisa said and admired her reflection in the water of her glass.

Hot lesbian seeex! My inner self once again plagued my mind with dozens of pictures, so I bit my tongue a little to shut it up.

My other self had no restraints in her cynical humour. That’s, like, just a little less restraints than I usually have. Surviving till the evening with the vulgar, cynical pony in my brain would prove to be difficult. I guess that was how living with me was like.

***

“Are you really sure you don’t need a doctor?” Marisa asked, leaning over my bed and looking at me. I smiled in return and curled up in my bed.

“Nah, mom, thanks.” My remark made her blush a little.

“C’mon, Mary! We’re going to miss it!” Irma exclaimed, standing at the door and tapping her hoof impatiently. “Stop fiddling with the little one and get a move on!”

“Be patient, Irma!” Marisa exclaimed rather harshly. “The party can wait!”

There were certain days when Irma and Marisa would go to a party. What party, I had no idea; they had never told me anything, saying it was their business. And I really couldn’t figure out what they did there. When they returned, they returned sober, at times even sad.

“Every time you say that we don’t make it on time. And you know what happens when we don’t make it on time!” Irma grumbled and left the room.

“I’ll be outside! Don’t take too long!” she shouted from outside and quickly trotted away, judging by the sound of hoofsteps.

Marisa took a deep breath and sighed heavily, looking at me wearily. In her eyes I saw the silent question that she had been asking me throughout the day: are you okay? Are you alright? I replied with a quick nod.

“Sorry, Scootaloo, but I have to go now. Try to fall asleep as fast as you can, and you’ll feel better tomorrow. I promise I’ll bring you something sweet,” she said and kissed me on the cheek. She trembled. I almost didn’t see it.

“Will you ever tell me what party you go to? I like parties, you know. Why can’t I go?” I asked, and she replied with a standard phrase about “special parties” for “adult” ponies, just like she always did. I was glad to see she was keeping it classy. At least, it gave me some sort of relief.

“One day, I’ll go with you!” I exclaimed, but Marisa turned pale and turned away.

“No. No, you won’t,” she said, going towards the door, still pale. “Scootaloo, these are bad parties. They’re very loud, annoying… you’ll hate them. Just don’t…. don’t think about them, okay?”

“Okay, if you say so.” I replied with a little melancholy in my voice. Marisa turned to me, smiled one more time, and left after saying goodbye.

Finally! I thought she would be fondling you for the rest of the night! My inner voice exclaimed. You should totally lay her, like, totally. There’s zero questions: you two belong in one bed!

“Sod off!” I grumbled, threw away my blanket, and flexed my forelegs and wings. The shoulder still ached a bit, but I paid no attention to it. I had more important stuff to think about.

No, really. It’s like, whenever I see you two, you’re always so damn close. Makes my heart all fuzzy inside… I mean, your heart, other me said, giggling a little.

“Could you stop discussing me and Marisa and finally explain what you want from me?” I grumbled angrily, turning around to fix my bed.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Damn, I can’t wait to finally feel myself in a physical body! How about you… summon the pretty me and we talk face to face? My inner friend sung, and continued to ramble on when I turned to the wall. It’s not difficult at all. You just have to concentrate and focus all your willpower.

“So, willpower, huh?” I mused and pointed my hoof at the wall, trying to ‘concentrate’. I gritted my teeth and forced my brain to think of nothing but that wall, tried to imagine it as a portal.

Nothing happened. I focused more and more. I put more and more effort into skewering a hole between reality and my imaginary world, to bring this otherworldly voice into physical world.

Nothing happened.

“This isn’t working.” I deadpanned and the voice giggled quietly.

Sorry. I just loved to see you struggle like that. Sounded like…

“Shut up!” I interrupted it, knowing this tasteless joke far too well.

He-he, fine. Turn off the light, hun. Nothing will work when there’s light, It replied, and I quickly dashed to the switch and turned the light off. Much better… and remember: our power lies in darkness. Even artificial light weakens the Darkness. Sunlight completely negates it. Got it?

“Yeah, yeah, got it.” I concentrated on the wall once more, this time standing in complete darkness. As my eyes adapted to the shadows, I started to feel a little weird, as if something was turning in my brain, running around and causing havoc.

It’s finally...working! Other me said, and her voice became so distorted and shaky that I couldn’t make out any more words it might have said. Things got even more confusing when I felt something prickling at the tip of my hoof.

“Err, me? How about an explanation? What’s happening?” I asked, but there was no reply. The shadows around me seemed to move, and my headache turned worse. I felt like my skull was trying to squash the brain inside. I gritted my teeth but kept myself concentrated on the wall.

Backing down was for cowards!

“Hey! Are you even in there….argh!” A sudden flash of pain in my head made me lose focus and fall down on my knees. The pain still persisted for a short amount of time, but, as I breathed carefully, it lessened.

“Ugh… fuck… You said it would be easy.” No answer followed.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” I tried calling once again, but there was no reply still.

For a moment I thought I got rid of the annoying other me. For a moment, I thought I was finally safe. I thought that it was all a dream.

Sudden, loud sounds filled my ears, triggering immediate reaction in the form of pain. Uttering a quiet ‘ouch’, I looked around. It was then that I realized that, even if it were a dream, it just turned into yet another nightmare.

The walls of the room started turning crimson. Giant splashes of black, looking like cancerous growths, slowly crawled all around. I felt a distinct smell of rotting flesh invading my nose, the sickly sweet scent of rotting meat, making my stomach churn.

I wanted to turn away from the disgusting sight, but something forced me to observe as it continued to grow, until it formed a big black stain on the wall, constantly emitting belching sounds and the horrific smell.

“Celestia almighty…” I stared in awe and horror as something started to disturb this wall of flesh… like something wanted to crawl out of it. Something tried to break through, but the flesh kept it back, however, emitting the sound of ripping.

The belching began louder, and the flesh started beating as if there was some sort of… pulse. I backed away, cold sweat running down my coat and hit the cupboard with my rump.

I wanted to scream, but the next image shoved my scream back into my lungs, never to escape them again. My vision went blurry, and my stomach started rumbling, making the disgusting mass of vomit run up my throat when I saw a face forming in this mass of flesh.

The monster forced its way out of its rotting prison, managing to get its head out. It stared at me, and one look at it was enough to make me shiver. The monster had no eyes, only two empty eyeholes, each a bottomless black abyss. As blood dripped from its face, I managed to make out the colours and outlines.

The mutilated, deformed me from the mirror was now staring at me in flesh and blood—or what was remaining thereof. It took me a moment to figure out what horror I had summoned into this world.

The monster smiled at me, baring its sharp teeth, and continued to force its way out of the wall of flesh. As more of its body appeared, parts of its flesh started to come off, stuck to the sticky entrance of this rotten doorway to Tartarus. The monster paid no attention to it, and simply ignored parts of its flesh being ripped off.

Finally, the abomination had emerged completely. It flexed its muscles—which I could observe on some parts—as I gazed in horror at its mutilated body: scars, deep bleeding wounds, long black tentacles growing straight out of its back, and two bloody stumps for wings.

Strangely, though, even though I shook like a leave, I had no desire to run. Perhaps I was getting used to this sort of things. I felt something warm running down my upper lip. I licked it with my tongue and tasted the metallic savour of blood. I took a moment to swipe under my nose with my hoof and found out that I had a serious nosebleed.

My headache kept getting worse, and I wanted to get out of the room, when the monster started walking towards me. It walked fast, too fast for the decaying corpse it looked like.

“It’s so good to finally have a body!” It gurgled, something roily and thick dripping from its mouth. “So good to finally feel! This air, this dust! This… blood!”

I was unable to move when it approached me and pressed its cold, wet lips against my nose. A long, thick, snake-like tongue slipped out of her mouth and started lapping up the smeared remains of my nosebleed, trying to catch as much blood as possible. The monster moaned as it drank more and more, with me being completely at its mercy, unable to fight back or do anything.

“Blood! Blood-blood-blood! Sweet, sticky, warm blood!” It sung, as it sucked on my nosebleed, trying to gulp down as much as it could, even though it wouldn’t even fill half of a cup. “You won’t…believe how much I need it!”

I was still completely paralyzed when it backed away, swiped away its saliva from its lips, and burped with satisfaction.

“That’s the stuff!” Its voice was a clear copy of mine, or of other me, to be exact.

It seemed that this was how my friend in the head looked like.

“So, what happened? Swallowed yo’ tongue?” The abomination drawled, grinning at me. I didn’t know whether I wanted to punch it or vormit.

“Is that… you? The… the other me?” I mumbled, its cold saliva dripping from my lips and on the floor. “It was you… who talked in my head the entire time?”

“Yep, you’re right.”

“And… you are the one who was looking at me from the mirror… back in the bathroom?” I whispered, the thing nodding in agreement.

I shivered, out of disgust or fright, I couldn’t tell.

“What else did you expect, sweetie? You’re dealing with the Darkness now, so get used to things looking… ugly,” the mutilated monster stated matter-of-factly, baring its sharp teeth. “How’re you holding up?”

“I- I- “ I muttered, pain resonating in my skull, and the sound of blood dripping from my nose clearly audible. I felt horribly sick and looked towards the door, praying that I would get to the bathroom in time.

“You don’t look too good. All pale… with shades of green. Ah, shit.” The monster looked at the portal it came from. “You’re still green, then. I guess you can’t maintain me in the physical world for too long… and it doesn’t seem like you want to, anyway.”

“Blrgh…” - were the words I could belch, covering my mouth with my legs, rendering me unable to proceed and just hope that I won’t throw up on my own bed.

“I see, I see. Okay, leaving now. Don’t want to put too much pressure on my precious day-tackler!” It sung and trotted to the cancerous growths on the wall. Before it jumped in, it turned around and gave me a smile.

“Once you get stronger, we’ll be able to do so much together! But for now, I’m staying in that comfy noggin of yours. See ya!” It waved at me with its left foreleg and most of the tentacles growing out of her back and then jumped into this ‘portal’.

The pain disappeared as the disgusting mass of flesh curled up into a black stain and, eventually, disappeared. The smell of rotting flesh and old bones was gone as well, finally relieving pressure on my brain, stopping the nosebleed.

I allowed myself to collapse on the ground, still feeling weak and sick. I started to doubt my decisions earlier and thought that the Darkness can be nothing but a curse. Having a decaying monster residing in my head, alongside a monstrous entity… was not pleasing in any way, shape, or form.

Hoy, Scoots! Missed me? The voice spoke in my head. I felt relieved and at the same time troubled. Did I really want her guiding me anymore? Or should I trust her still?

I know this can be hard to swallow, but that’s how things roll. You just have to accept it. Now, get up and let’s do some heroic deeds!

I slowly got up, feeling my strength return. I wanted to tell this dreadful monster to fuck off, but suddenly, my mind got me thinking: isn’t that how heroes work?

I mean, heroes had to have sidekicks, right? And other me was a perfect sidekick. Yeah, it... she wasn’t really heroically looking, but that wasn’t needed. A sidekick needed to help the hero, and it didn’t matter if the sidekick was a pony or a pony monster, right?

“Promise me that, the next time I summon you, you don’t lick my blood. That was disgusting,” I told my inner voice whereto it snickered.

Sure, sure. I’ll try to hold back.

“And tell me if you’re going to look abysmal. Because that was a low blow… I wasn’t ready.”

Sure… you pansy!

“Oh, sod off,” I grumbled, approaching the window. “Hmm… quite a long way down… and I can’t go out the door, there are caretakers everywhere.”

Just jump, sweetie. A leap of faith, as they call it! Trust in me, and trust in your dark powers! I’d wink at you, but yeah, just imagine I wink at you at that point.

How funny. Just yesterday I couldn’t even float even if my life depended on it, something that any, any pegasus should be able to do. And now, I was jumping out of the window, trusting a voice in my head that looked like a zombie. Life was bloody weird.

“Listen… if I’m going to trust you, at least tell me your name. Do you have a name?” I asked, opening the window and feeling the cold winter breeze on my cheeks.

Huh… good question. Well, I am you, technically, so you can call me Scootaloo the Second… Or Scootaloo the Awesome! Or, even better: Scootaloo the Dark Roamer of the Dark Realm, Protector of the Innocent and Weak, and Destroyer of the Wicked and Evil, the most Awesome and Sexy Pony to Ever be Born in Equestria. StDRotDRPotIaWaDotWaEtmAaSPtEbBiE, for short!

“One hell of an acronym,” I deadpanned. I started liking this monster’s sense of humour. Then, I closed my eyes and hummed sagely.

“You’re me, Scootaloo. And you’re also connected to this Darkness… I know! Darkaloo!” I said, smiling. This sounded like a very nice name to me, short, and very informative.

Darkaloo? Hmm…. Awesome! I’m lovin’ this name! Darkaloo, the Amazing I shall be! she sung, making me chuckle once more, such a good relief after the stress I had gone through. So, Scootaloo, are you ready to be a hero?

Waterfall

“Oh yes!” I exclaimed and leapt out of the window, spreading my wings wide, feeling the cold air biting my muzzle. This air made me forget everything. I just looked down and fell. I fell towards the abyss of white, cutting through the night gust like a knife through butter, the snowflakes, drifting by me, as I descended, putting all of my faith into the hidden power within me. If this power could rip ponies apart, it would surely be able to protect me from this measly fall.

The ground felt meters away from me when I felt my wings harden and extend. Before I knew it, a pair of black tentacles sprawled from my back and rushed towards the ground, piercing through the snow and connecting with solid ground, providing me with enough support to balance in the air.

The realization of the fall came afterwards, when I started panicking about being so high above the ground. My forehead and cheeks quickly turned wet, which wasn’t good considering the winter, and my heart skipped a bit. With great caution, I tried moving my new limbs, only to find out that they were just as easy to control as my old wings. Only this time, they were longer, and more flexible. Quite a weird feeling actually - it’s like when you break your hoof, and have to wear gypsum, immobilizing your leg completely, and then, many days later, you’re finally free to move it as much as you want.

“Woah! Aaaaah!” I shrieked, swaying back and forth, trying to maintain balance and stay still. “Wooow!”

Isn’t this cool? My inner voice spoke. It’s like a safety mechanism!

“This is… really cool!” I exclaimed, trying to move the appendages. When I finally got used to them, they suddenly disappeared and I collapsed onto the snow.

“Blargh!” I spat out the snow and slowly got up. No pain, no aches. My ribs were fine. “Did I say something wrong?”

Oh, yes, you offended them, ha-ha! Darkaloo taunted me. Nah, relax — when the threat is gone, they disappear, so they won’t waste energy.

“Energy? The Darkness runs on batteries?” I chuckled, raising an eyebrow. Darkaloo cackled in reply.

He-he-he… Sort of. This energy is harnessed from the shadows, it allows the Darkness to perform basic tasks without taking over your body - like protecting you from harm, allowing you to travel very quickly and so on. Darkaloo murmured. The Darkness cannot let you die, so it will do its best to protect you from harm during the night. During the day, however, it can’t do anything to protect you.

“I understand… and… what if I do die? What will happen to me?” I looked around, making sure nopony noticed me escaping.

I cannot say. I think the Darkness will resurrect you. Yes, it can do that, but I don’t know the details. Darkaloo hummed. Don’t get any funny ideas! I don’t want to die!

“Wow…” I was amazed at the possibilities this Darkness granted me. Resurrect me… So, was I immortal now? Like Celestia? Or Luna? Or Twilight?

I was baffled by the sheer possibilities of heroic deeds I could do with such power. So many ponies to save… so many villains to punish. I looked forward and smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning to die any time soon. Let’s get going!” I offered and Darkaloo replied with an approving hum.

Where shall we go, though? she asked, but I already had an answer.

“We’re going to find out just what kind of parties Marisa and Irma visit. I’ve always wanted to visit one. I think my time is now!” I approached the fence, thinking of a way I could cross over it.

Your decision, Darkaloo concluded and turned silent, letting me concentrate.

“Can I use my tentacles—” That sounded so icky. “—to, err, jump over this fence?”

Do not abuse the power of the Darkness. You’re better off finding a hole, or you can dig under it. Darkaloo murmured, annoyed by my request. I brainstormed, remembering a little hole in the fence, not far from my current position. Without a second thought, I raced there, kicking the snow up as I ran.

You think you’ll be able to catch up? It doesn’t seem like they’ll be waiting for you, My inner voice spoke.

“Don’t worry, I know some shortcuts through the garden. I know it like my hoof,” I replied, ignoring the cold that was biting me. Running as fast as possible, I finally reached the aforementioned hole and slipped through it into the garden.

You know, I’ve been thinking: what party could they possibly attend? It’s… what time is it?

“I think it’s eleven PM.”

What kind of party starts at eleven PM? Just wondering: should we be at that party at all? Who knows, maybe they catch foals and sacrifice them to an angry underwater god to summon him back into this world to wreck shit?

“What? No-o-o! Marisa cries every time she has to swat a fly - and you think she can summon demons? Pff, give me a break…” I giggled, suddenly catching a thought that something along these lines might be happening. After all, Darkaloo was me, so we had to be sharing thoughts.

What could Irma and Marisa possibly be doing there? I felt like I didn’t want to know.

Walking through the thick layer of snow and the howling wind, I heard the familiar voices. Smiling, I rushed towards these sounds, hoping not to lose them.

As I approached, the voices became clearer and understandable. I stopped and hid behind a tree, gasping for air, exhausted from the running.

“I hate this. I really hate this. I swear, I’m going to quit soon!” Marisa was talking with an expression as if she was about to cry. “And they won’t stop me!”

“I wish I had your enthusiasm,” Irma stated in her everyday stoic monotone. “But they’re not going to let you quit that easily. You still have to pay the fee, remember?”

“Yes, yes, I know. But now I have Raindrops, and she’ll release me from this nightmare!” Marisa stopped in the middle of the road, took a deep breath and sat down on the frozen ground.

“I’ll be praying for that, sis,” Irma said, stopping by Marisa. “So- Oh, Celestia, not again.”

I bit my lip once I heard about Raindrops, tears gathering in my eyes. I quickly drove away the grim thoughts and leaned to the left to observe the scene.

Marisa was sitting on her rump, crying bitterly into her own mane, while Irma came from behind and gave her a warm, loving hug. It made my heart cringe when I saw Marisa’s shoulders quake and heard her bitter sobs. I wanted to come out of my hiding place to comfort the poor pony, but all I could do was grit my teeth and keep watching.

“It’s okay, Marisa. Just this one last time… Just this one last time.” Irma hugged her and ruffled her mane. “Why are you so scared? You’ve done this a million times before. In fact, you should be the one comforting me. I’m the youngest here.”

I was shaking with anticipation, waiting for them to expose the reason for all this madness. My eyes pinned on the two, my hooves shaking and sweat running down the cheeks.

“Because I’m tired of swimming in filth. I’m sick of waking up each morning and trying to keep a stoic face, like none of this has happened. I’m tired of being used… letting myself be used just to have a roof over my head. I can’t look into the children’s eyes anymore without feeling disgust for what I am…” Tears were running down Marisa’s cheeks, glistening in the moonlight. “And it’s even worse, when I realize that young foals and fillies will have to go through it as well unless a miracle happens. Why is the world so cruel to us?”

I’d never seen Marisa so sad before. Ever. My ear throbbed and I felt a clot in my throat. Every inch of my body was trembling as I slowly sat down on the snow, my mind unable to imagine just what she was hiding from me behind the term ‘party’. I wanted to turn back and walk back to the orphanage. I wanted to forget this happened.

I didn’t want to know. Now, I knew for certain that I didn’t want to know. But I had to know; else I would never be able to sleep again. Else every morning, when I’d wake up and see Marisa, I would torment myself with the same question over and over again: what terrified her so much? What was she really doing here? I had to keep going. No matter what, I had to keep going.

“Life’s unfair like that. Come on, let’s go. Just… just take a deep breath and remember: this is the last time,” Irma said, and Marisa got up, wiping the tears off her pale cheeks.

“I hope this is the last time…” Marisa delivered the final twist of the knife in my heart, forcing me to stop and take a deep breath in order not to cry. After inhaling, I closed my mouth and started counting.

Counting the minutes I’d got left to live.

Counting the moments I’d got left to cherish.

Counting the days of my happiness.

One, two, three, four, five….

After counting till I ran out of breath, I exhaled, feeling relaxation and calmness in my heart.

That is one deep way to calm down, Darkaloo commented on this little philosophical masterpiece. Really makes me ponder about the meaning of life.

“It’s an old one… I read it in a book, written by Celestia herself, no less.” I whispered in a calm voice. “Autobiography.”

So, you hold your breath and count as much as you can? Sounds simple enough, Darkaloo noted, and turned quiet, while I continued following the two mares.

The tips of my hooves ached from the frost as I slogged through the deep snow, walking around the naked trees and bushes. This undead forest was getting thicker and thicker as I followed the road my friends were walking.

Where were they going? I didn’t think I’d ever been here. Old trees, some of which were dead already, and the unclean road covered in snow. What could this uncared and forgotten part of the forest hide?

Finally, I saw the destination my friends were heading towards: an old, crooked three storey hotel. The windows were sealed shut and the walls were covered in thistles and moss. However, through the small cracks in the wooden walls, I could see light.

I hid behind a snowbank, ignoring the cold biting my skin and watched Marisa and Irma approach the old door and knock. A big, skinny looking pony in a light leather jacket and with a tattoo on his neck opened, looking quite displeased, probably because of the mares’ late arrival. He angrily said something which I couldn’t hear him from such a distance, before letting the two enter and closing the door behind them.

Now, this is interesting! Who is that — the host of the party? Darkaloo sneered.

“No idea… and I don’t want to find out, to be totally honest…” I voiced my doubts, still feeling a bit down after that scene on the road. “Maybe we should turn back?”

Are you serious? No! We’ve gone too far to go back now! Let’s find a way in! Darkaloo said irritated, so I obeyed; she was right, after all.

Gone too far to go back now… Something made me feel that I was going to regret those words.

“Yeah… I suppose there’s no point in knocking,” I murmured to myself, exited my temporary hideout, and approached the old building, looking for a way to get in.

The walls had so many stumps and edges bulging from them that it would be quite easy to climb up through all the three storeys and up on the roof. But was there any reason to climb up on the roof — probably not, but there was no other way. Going to the basement would be even more useless. So, with nothing to lose, I took a deep breath, shook the snow off my hooves and started climbing, making the best use of my physical training, or lack thereof. Still, these walls had so many places to use as support it would fit more in the fair as an entertainment for young foals.

The wind was blowing in my face, trying to tear me away from the wall, make me slip and fall, but I kept climbing. There was no way back now, I’d gone too far to turn around and run. Those were the words I kept muttering to myself as I persevered, continuing my arduous journey up the side of the hotel.

Finally, I found myself on the roof of the building. Minding my step, I carefully walked, trying to find an entrance to the attic or something along those lines. Finally, I noticed some hatch, tied with a rusty chain.

“Where the hell would this lead?” I pondered and hit the chain as hard as I could. It shattered with little effort, and the hatch was mine to open.

I expected it to lead to the third floor, instead being presented with the sight of web-filled, smelly interspace between the outer and inner walls. I couldn’t even comprehend who built a monstrosity like this. But, as I looked around, I realized this was my best option.

As I carefully crawled inside, feeling myself sandwiched between the two walls, I realized the decision behind the architecture: there were torn dust-covered pieces of insulation on the decaying walls. Looks like the rest was scooped out for some reason. Maybe to sell this place cheaper? But how would the owners warm themselves during winter?

As I continued creeping down into the unknown, feeling myself like a cockroach beneath the trash, I started hearing voices, coming from the first floor. They sounded muffled and unclear, so I quickly crawled towards the source.

The light was pouring through the cracks, guiding me, as the voices became louder and clearer.

“I suppose I can forgive your late arrival,” the rough voice proclaimed. I crawled to the nearest crack and gazed into it. Once my eyes got used to the light, I felt blood in my veins run cold.

I was looking at a reception room, filled with ponies, most of whom were young mares and teenagers from the orphanage. Most of them I know. Irma and Marisa were standing in the centre of the room, with the pony who let them in walking in circles around them, like a vulture circling round his future breakfast.

“We all make mistakes and you two are one of the most profitable here, so I’ll ignore this little incident,” he said, approaching Marisa and touching her cheek. She closed her eyes and nodded.

“Thank you, Mr. Soft Fur. I promise, this won’t happen again,” she said and the pony smiled.

“I know,” he grumbled, walking away from her.

I didn’t like this guy. He looked like a typical shady type, his attire reminding me of some oldschool criminal. But the fact that he had a smiling teddy bear for a cutie mark made me shiver.

My stomach churned when I saw so many mares I personally knew. What were they all doing here? Nothing good, that’s what, I said to myself, regretting once again the decision of coming here. And yet, I didn’t do anything to leave, I just kept watching. I guess the curiosity took over me completely, muffling all voice of reason.

Some shady business going on here, Darkaloo stated the obvious, but I didn’t reply. I just watched Irma and Marisa walk into the corner and sit down while Soft Fur looked around, grinning.

“Alright, sweet cheeks, you know the drill. Head to your rooms, the clients will be arriving soon. We’re expecting a lot today, so get your gear ready if needed!” Soft Fur exclaimed, clapping his hooves, and ponies went deeper inside the house, only two big stallions and a skinnier, weaker one staying behind.

“You,” Soft Fur pointed at the skinny one, “to the reception. You two, greet the guests. Get to work, dimwits, we have a long night ahead of us.”

“Darky… Can we leave? I- I really don’t like where this is going,” I muttered, trying to speak as quietly as possible.

No, Scoots! There’s no way back! Stop shivering, and pony up! We have to get to the bottom of this, now or never! Stop being such a pansy and get going!

I wondered if Darkaloo was more of me than I was. Why was I chickening out? No idea. I was safe, hidden between the walls, protected by the dark powers within me. I was just an observer, I couldn’t get hurt. And yet I still felt like I was about to get dissected.

“Okay, okay… sorry,” I whispered and started crawling once more, in the direction where the mares were going. He told them to go to the rooms. Maybe I could find a crack to peep through.

Despite the cold, despite the fear and worry… at least I was about to find out what ‘parties’ Marisa and Irma were hiding from me for so long.

***

I followed the sound of Marisa’s voice, discovering the room where she was supposed to be residing. With doubt and shame, I crawled in this tight space, approaching a crack that would give me a clear overview.

Peeping on my own friend… Everything was wrong about this situation. Everything.

The room was quite spacey, with a wide double bed right near the wall from which I was looking. To the left, there was a drawer and a few candles on top. There was a huge picture of waterfall on the left wall, depicting a rainbow rising over the water and the green grass growing on the shore. Unlike the house itself, the furniture and the picture looked quite polished and new. Maybe they were moved here just recently.

Marisa lied down on the bed and hugged a pillow, tears sparkling in her eyes. Even in the dim light of the oil lamp, I could see those tiny drops on her cheeks. How helpless and useless I felt right now could not be expressed with words. I wanted to hug her, nuzzle her, give her a sweet kiss on the cheek — anything to make her feel better. I just couldn’t stand to see good ponies cry.

In fact, I realized that I couldn’t stand anypony cry. Except if it was somepony I hated to the core.

“Please… let this end soon,” Marisa sobbed. “Please…”

After a few moments, she took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and relaxed on the bed, which greatly confused me. Was she just going to rest there? Or did she come here to just admire the interior?

All my questions were answered, when the door leading to the room creaked and slowly opened, a young stallion appearing at the doorsteps. Marisa quickly rose up from her bed, looked at this intruder and… smiled. I couldn’t see her smile, but I knew she was smiling.

“Hello,” she said in a soothing, calm voice. “Anything I could help you with?”

She playfully touched her mane and leaned on the edge of the bed, continuing to smile. The stallion blushed, and gulped in worry.

“You’re… err… the Lady of the Waterfall, right?” he asked in a stuttering voice. Marisa giggled, waddling towards the stallion. She gently touched his chest and then carefully turned him around and pushed him on her bed.

Every inch of my body was trembling and itching. I gazed into Marisa’s eyes, and deep inside them I saw disgust. Endless disgust, mixed with sadness and a cry for help. All these emotions she was displaying for this stallion were faked; I’d known her long enough to know that. But that didn’t change the reality.

“Yes, I am the Lady of the Waterfall.” Marisa ran a hoof through her mane. “And you are my client… my guest for tonight?”

“Y-yes, that’s right. My name’s-” The stallion spoke but Marisa carefully put her hoof to his lips and hushed.

“No need for names, sugar. Just open your feelings and accept me as a part of you.”

Lies, lies, all of that were lies! I knew these were lies! I knew for certain! She would never do this, she couldn’t! Marisa is not like that. She would never be a… a…

“Y- yeah…” The stallion grinned, closing his eyes and pulling Marisa in for a lustful kiss.

My chest was ready to burst open with screams of anger and disbelief. I wanted to break down that wall and tear that fucker limb from limb. And yet, I couldn’t even move a muscle, my brain still trying to comprehend the fact that Marisa, one of my first friends, the pony, whose bleeding heart could only be compared to Fluttershy’s, was a whore.

In this moment, Darkaloo was silent. Right now, when I needed some words of support, she was fucking silent. I wanted to crawl away from here. I’d found out too much already… but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t move. Instead, I leaned closer to the crack and watched.

“Lose yourself in the waterfall…” Marisa whispered into the stallion’s ear, igniting the flame of desire inside him as he rolled over and shoved his entire length inside her.

My stomach contracted, gathering the piles upon piles of vomit and pushing them towards my mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to remember good times, happy moments, but they all were twisting and crooked, under the soundtrack of Marisa’s faked ecstatic screams. Why was I still there? Why was I listening? Why was I looking? I didn’t know. I just couldn’t stop.

Marisa kept on screaming and moaning, but this idiot, this little piece of shit that was fucking her had no idea that she was faking. She couldn’t possibly feel all of this for real, not after what I’d seen. He couldn’t even comprehend the hatred that bloomed within me as I observed him mercilessly using my friend for his own primal needs.

Now, I understood. Now, I knew why Marisa was so upset, why she was hiding this from me. This… this was something worthy of hiding.

But she was forced into it, I knew that for certain. She was being forced! They were all forced! I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why! But they were being forced, every single one of them.

Marisa was moaning as the stallion kept on thrusting, a lustful grin stuck on his face. I opened my eyes and looked at his face, trying to memorize it. After I’d get out of here, I’d find him.

After several more thrusts, the fucker bit his lip as his pathetic stamina ran out and he climaxed. Marisa grabbed a pillow and covered her mouth with it, probably to muffle her cries, or not to puke.

“Whew… I’m done, babe… Oh…” He was gasping for air, exhausted and drained.

Marisa slowly opened her eyes and put the pillow aside. “I’m… glad you enjoyed it… I hope to see you again… soon…”

“Don’t worry about that, babe. Whenever I get the chance and money, I’ll be here,” he exclaimed, getting off her and taking a deep breath. “I’ll leave some extra bits for you at the reception.”

“Th- thank you.” Marisa tried to express gratitude as hard as she could, but still failed. The stallion, however, fell for it. He smiled at her and then quickly left, probably to find a shower.

When he finally left, I finally got control of my body back from the accursed emotions, so I crawled away from there as fast as I could, as fast as my body would allow, scratching my sides on the rough edges of the wall’s inside. Despite the pain, despite the vomit steadily crawling up my throat, I crawled as fast as I could. I wanted to get away, to forget everything, but the sound of creaking beds and delighted screams and moans shoved more and more pictures into my head.

My eyes started to water, when I finally found a quiet corner. Before bursting into tears, I crawled to the nearest crack and checked if anypony could hear me.

I was back in the reception room, but this time, it was filled with stallions, the ‘clients’ of this brothel. It made me sick looking at the room full of dirty trash like them, who would want to pay hard earned bits to violate a poor mare for their own sick pleasure. Turned out, there were more than a few. There were at least fifteen in the room. And it made me want to puke even harder.

“I swear, I’ll find a way to bring this place down!” I growled quietly. I was boiling in anger and fury, and tears poured out of my eyes like overflowing rivers. How much I hated myself for following the stupid idea of coming here, and how much I hated Darkaloo for making me follow through with this stupid, stupid idea!

Relax, Scoots… I’m sure it’s not something to raise a fuss about, Darkaloo finally opened her demented, non-existing mouth.

“No, it is! I can’t simply stay and watch my friend getting fucked!” I hissed furiously. “Why didn’t you talk to me? Why were you silent the entire bloody time?!”

I just didn’t know what to say! Darkaloo exclaimed. She wanted to say something else, but her voice turned quiet when I heard the distinct sound of cracking wood.

“The fuck is tha-” I was unable to finish the sentence, as the wall gave away and I fell… right into the reception room.

The stallions jumped up, startled by the sudden loud noises and a filly that appeared right out of nowhere, covered in web and dust, with ruffled messy mane and tear stained cheeks.

I raised my eyes and looked around, my heart stopped. Looks like the old walls couldn’t handle my weight and it gave away. I looked back — there was now a hole in the wall, the size of me.

Then, I looked around, all the stallions staring at me with fear and worry. I didn’t know if they felt sorry for me or were just frightened to death. I, for one, was feeling the latter.

Don’t… move, Darkaloo whispered as if somepony could hear her and as if I was ever going to move. However, it didn’t matter what I did, since a second later I felt one of the guards that Soft Fur left here nail me to the ground.

“You’re not going anywhere, missus!” he growled into my ear, while I desperately tried to free myself from his grip. I kicked, I cried, I screamed, but nothing worked.

“Shit, Soft Fur is going to skin us alive once he finds out we let her slip past!” another guard said, approaching me. He quickly looked around, gazing at all the stallions and the receptionist with anger.

“Don’t even try to tell the boss, or it will be the last thing you’ll ever do!” he addressed everypony in the room and then leaned to me. “Let’s make a deal: we let you go, and you forget this place exists.”

I quickly nodded. The circumstances left me no choice but to accept this deal, and besides, it wasn’t that bad. Though, I wish I could truly forget this place ever existed.

However, those hopes were dashed a second later.

“Don’t try to tell me what, exactly?” I heard Soft Fur’s voice. I couldn’t see him, but by the tone and volume of his voice I could tell that he was pissed.

“Err… nothing,” the guard who was keeping me still mumbled and I felt relieved as the giant fell of me when Soft Fur kicked him right in the jaw.

“Get off her, you idiot,” he said. I slowly got up and looked at Soft Fur.

My blood turned cold when I saw him staring right into my eyes. I couldn’t even imagine this ending anything but badly…

“You two, take her to my office. We need to resolve this little incident as fast as possible,” he growled at his henchponies and turned to the clients. “I’m sorry about this, gentlecolts. Please, continue as if nothing happened. I’m already handling the issue.”

My rage got the better of me when I heard him talking to these dirty motherfuckers this way. He was a true businesspony, treating his costumers with great respect… But they were no costumers, they were a bunch of sick assholes, his henchponies too, and Soft Fur himself!

I gazed at the ponies staring at me with utmost hatred and toxic anger, but they didn’t even notice as Soft Fur started walking and his goons dragged me along through the corridor.

Release

“We could start with the basics: me asking how you got here, what you saw, and just what the fuck you were doing in the wall, but we won’t do that.” Soft Fur scratched the surface of his table, pushing a small inkwell from one edge of the table to another. He seemed to be enjoying the sound it was making, but, honestly, I wanted to ram that inkwell into his face. With each scratch resonating in my ears like an annoying bell and the vile images still fresh in my memory, I was very close to throwing up.

In fact, my face was probably green already, and I occasionally jerked forward, the mass in my throat threatening to shoot outward and spill out.

Soft Fur stopped pushing the inkwell around, got up and left, and I took a moment to catch my breath. A few moments later, he returned, holding a cup of water. “Here,” he blurted out, hoofing me the drink. I didn’t exactly have the courtesy to choose, so I accepted his offer and gulped down the water. It helped. A little.

At least this asshole wasn’t going to torture me.

“Besides, I bet I already know your story. You lost a bet, you had to follow the mares into the night and find out where they hung out, so you ended up here. Am I right?” A hideous grin made his face even more disgusting to look at. I wanted to reply with a witty insult or just tell him to suck it, but instead I just nodded several times. It all felt like a bad dream, and I only wanted to get out.

“I thought so,” he said with delight, relaxing in his armchair, one of the few luxury items in this entire shithole of a building. Maybe if I played along with him, he would just let me go. Despite the fact that every instinct was telling me the exact opposite, I still had the childish hope that this nightmare would end if I just did what he asked.

“Well, then, I’d say we strike a deal.” I felt a chill run down my spine. Striking deals with pimps wasn’t exactly something I had planned for this night. “You see, your… appearance cost me quite a few bits, since my potential clients got scared; it ruins their mood, so on and so forth, it’s an adult thing. Don’t forget about a giant hole in the wall: that’ll take quite a few days to repair.”

This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all. The great and majestic Darkaloo impressed me with her ability to state the obvious. By Celestia, I wanted to smack her so badly. I made a note to hit my head against the wall the instance I set hoof out of this hell.

Though, it didn’t seem like I was going to walk out of here in one piece.

“You see, I’ve got a lot of clients. And some of them… prefer things a bit… extravagant.” Everything inside me was boiling with mad rage, fear and disgust for this world. I knew what Soft Fur was talking about. Despite my relatively short experience with this ‘establishment’, it was easy to figure out what was going to happen.

I wanted to yell, scream at the top of lungs, cry, kick, bite, but fear gripped my body too tight. I couldn’t even sob; I just sat there like an inanimate object, staring at the floor. The flashy images of what I’d seen here slowly merged with reality: I mentally replaced Marisa’s body with mine… Her moans with mine…

I skipped Soft Fur’s explanation past my ears, feeling as if I was living my last moments in this world. Soon, the pony named Scootaloo would perish… be gone forever… evaporate into mist.

I shall help you, Scoots. Don’t be such a downer. Darkaloo said in a relatively serious tone. Just play along for a while, and when the time comes, let me take control. Don’t be afraid — just let me.

“Follow me, I’ll escort you to your room.” Soft Fur got up from his seat and started walking. I followed him, trying to keep a little bit behind so that I would get a chance to talk to the inner me.

“What will you do? What do you mean ‘let you take control’?” I whispered, covering my mouth with my hoof.

I’ll bail you out of this, don’t worry.

“What are you going to do?! Tell me!” I hissed angrily, but there was no reply. I abandoned all hopes of getting anything out of this spirit, since, knowing me… I’d probably not spill out the details too.

Suddenly, it hit me. Darkaloo was preparing a surprise. Something she would clearly enjoy, judging from the excitement in her last few words. In addition to the fear of being used as a fuck-toy, I felt terrified at the thought of what Darkaloo’s surprise was.

“We’re here,” Soft Fur stated, stepping aside and gesturing me to enter through the open door, leading into a poorly lit room. I took a deep breath and made a few unsure steps into this ‘temple of love’. “He should be here soon, so make yourself comfortable.”

Soft Fur carefully closed the door behind me and I heard the clicking of the key entering a lock. How fucking symbolic.

“The lubes, the protection and the toys are all in the drawers if you need them!” My stomach churned at these words, when I imagined what kind of toys these sick psychos had in here. The world started spinning around so quickly I barely managed to limp to the bed and crash on it. Though, I regretted it immediately when I remembered what was regularly happened on it.

“For fuck’s sake, Darkaloo! Tell me what the fuck you’re planning! I need to know!” I tried to growl, but all that came out was a weak rattle. Darkaloo, as usual, did not reply. I closed my eyes, feeling the warm water fill them up.

I had no idea what to do. I was in such a deep mess… Why did I even follow Marisa and Irma? Why? Why?! Why was I so stupid?! And not even the goddamn demon inside could save me anymore. I was completely fucked, both figuratively, and soon, literally.

Suddenly, I realized: The Darkness. Was Darkaloo planning to unleash it? I felt my blood chill when I imagined when something as vicious and bloodthirsty as the Darkness got out in a place like this…

“No! Darkaloo, I know what you’re going to do! Don’t do this!” I hated this place. I really did. But I did not want to see even more ponies die like Raindrops.

Relax, Scoots. I’m not going to unleash the Darkness. No living thing in their right mind would do something like that. I’ll just take control of your body and Darkness’ powers to get us both to safety.

“Wait… you can control its powers too?”

Of course, I’m not nearly as powerful, but at least I’m not insane. She murmured. Now, come on. Close your eyes and let go of your body. I’m getting us out of here.

“N-no.” I muttered. I realized that I couldn’t trust her. If I was to let her take control, who knows what might happen? I didn’t want to see more ponies die! No matter how sick and twisted they were, no matter what I said about them… I don’t want to be a killer. “No fucking way.”

You’re gonna start this shit? Scoots, your life depends on it! Pull yourself together! She screamed at me, but I didn’t falter. Instead of replying, I just took a deep breath and jumped off the bed.

There had to be a way out. Maybe I could sneak back into the wall. There had to be a way out, I was sure of it!

Scootaloo, stop freaking out like a little filly and listen to me! There’s no way out! You can’t get out unless I help you! So shut up, close your eyes and lie on the fucking be—

Her voice immediately turned silent when I heard the sound of a key fiddling inside a lock. In a split second I dashed towards the bed and put my head on the pillow, to look the part: what if it was some sick fuck who would enjoy beating me around before fulfilling his sick desires?

The door slowly opened with a creak, and when my ‘client’ entered, I felt my stomach turn and cold sweat running down. It was a young stallion, grey hued with a pale green mane. I had never seen him before; maybe he wasn’t from Ponyville, or maybe I just didn’t walk around that much.

“Oh… hi,” he murmured, his eye twitching a bit. He was clearly nervous, but it didn’t help me at all. I felt my entire body shake when he started walking towards me.

“D-don’t touch me…. D-don’t…” I hissed weakly, my throat aching. But my words had an opposite effect on him; instead of doubting his intentions, he spoke:

“Oh, don’t worry. The pain will pass.” He took a deep breath before smiling. His body jerked forward a bit, and then, seconds later, I found myself nailed to the bed. Several tears ran down my cheek and I felt a giant ball of vomit crawling up my throat when I felt something rubbing against my inner thigh.

“Get away… f-from me… P-please…” All of my courage dissipated in a second, but it enthralled him even more. His fucking grin, his brown eyes, full of desire and lust: everything made me cringe. I couldn’t stand looking at his face. I wanted to die, wanted to rot. Anything, but being here on this bed…

Everything I’d ever held dear flashed before my eyes. My entire life, in a single flash, as I felt this ‘something’ slowly sliding up my thigh closer to its goal. I tried fiddling around, but he wrapped his forelegs around me to keep me still.

“I promise you’re going to love it, little one. I’ll be… extra gentle.”

I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst.

The bastard let out a blissful moan, and I felt a few drops of saliva on my face. Weird, it didn’t hurt at all. In fact, I couldn’t feel anything. At all.

Finally….

Horror filled my soul, but I couldn’t even scream or move. I couldn’t even blink!

“Oooh, babe, you’re so damn wet already… I’m fucking lo-” He stopped his speech and his eyes shot open. Where there’d been desire just amoment ago, there was fear now.

“What’s the matter, sweet cheeks? Bit your tongue?” Darkaloo forced me to speak. I was completely powerless against her. I lost all control. “What’s the matter? Don’t you enjoy getting blowjobs?”

The stallion started slowly backing away, his eyes still full of fear. Soon, I found out why: Darkaloo had not only managed to snatch control of my body, but also had already summoned the demon heads without me or the stallion noticing. And right now, the head with the razor sharp teeth had the stallion’s cock buried deep inside its mouth. Its fangs were barely scratching the shaft, and the head looked sickeningly pleased, holding the stallion hostage like that.

“What’s wrong? It’s not so arousing anymore? You don’t find it attractive?” Darkaloo mocked him, forcing my face to display a smug expression.

“P-please…. I… Soft Fur told me you agreed to this… He said it is a part of the roleplay… I swear I’m not to blame! P-please!” he begged, looking me straight in the eyes.

Darkaloo suddenly softened, the grin turning into a gentle smile. She reached out for his face and stroke his cheek.

“Don’t worry, sweetums… Soft Fur shall suffer much more than you will.”

“Wh—” A blood-chilling shriek echoed in my ears as the demon head clenched its teeth and pulled with great strength. The soft flesh gave way, ripping without much difficulty. The grinning monster tossed its prize aside and grinned into the screaming stallion’s face, blood dripping from its fangs.

Darkaloo licked her lips when she saw the blood and smiled. Then, she commanded another head to attack. The demon lunged forward, clenching its massive jaws around the stallion’s neck. A few seconds later, I heard a loud crack, and his body collapsed on the floor with a loud thump.

“One hell of a boner.” Darkaloo swiped the saliva mixed with tears of her… my face.

I tried to seize the control over my body, but it all was for naught. Darkaloo only giggled at my feeble attempts.

“Too late, Scoots. Ya should have listened to me before I had to save your ladybits from certain penetration.” The Darkness’ spawn cooed. “I swear to protect your virginity from now on.”

There was no point in fighting for control. I lost all of it when that stallion got close — fear, panic, despair. Now, I was forced to watch as Darkaloo had her way with this place.

With the vicious strike of its massive rock-like jaw, the demon head smashed the door open. Darkaloo slowly stepped out of the room and flexed her muscles.

“Thanks, Crunchy! Nice work back there, Smiley.” She looked around, looking for new victims. “Don’t worry, I’ll feed you with something worthy next time.”

She gave these things nicknames? This Darkness crew was more like a sick little family, a family that I, unfortunately, was a part of.

I wish I had a mouth to scream with when Darkaloo, following the sounds of moaning, shattered the wooden door and entered another room. The stallion quickly jumped off the mare, his crotch still dripping and wet, and backed away from the monstrous filly with two demon heads for wings.

Darkaloo sent forth Smiley, aiming for the poor mare, who barely managed to make out what was happening around her, still blissful and energized. Before she could utter another moan, Smiley plunged its teeth into her chest and ripped out her heart. Then, by Darkaloo’s command, it threw the heart at the stallion.

“Her heart’s forever yours, Romeo!” she drawled before bursting into maniacal laughter as Crunchy descended upon the stallion’s skull, smashing it open.

Soon, the moans of lust and pleasure were replaced by moans of pain and suffering. Darkaloo spared nopony, entering each room and ripping anything alive in sight, making an unfunny quip after each particularly gory kill. I couldn’t believe that I thought that this… this monster was anything close to a friend for me. It was just as brutal as Darkness, leaving corpses everywhere it went.

“Till death do us part!” Darkaloo exclaimed, before ripping a stallion in two, showering in his guts. Whenever she was approaching a new door, I prayed that we wouldn’t encounter Marisa or Irma.

Soon, ponies started to notice that the tone of screams had changed. It wasn’t long before Soft Fur’s henchponies arrived. At that moment, Darkaloo was busy smashing a mare’s skull against the wall.

“What the hell’s ha—” The thug’s words were stuck in his throat, as he saw the demon that I had become and the lifeless body of a stallion. Darkaloo quickly turned her attention to him.

He turned around and tried to run away, but Crunchy caught him by his tail, swung him around and smashed his head against the corner of the bed. The disgusting splash of gore echoed through the room, and some of the blood landed on my face.

Thankfully, throughout this bloody massacre, we hadn’t encountered Marisa or Irma. Of course, there were some familiar faces from the orphanage, but they didn’t bother me as much as Marisa did.

In fact… After the third kill, I felt like… this was justified. I had seen some of these mares before, and they didn’t invoke any sympathy from me. But their profession made me… despise them. And the stallions? I had nothing but hatred towards them. Their deaths, even though gory, even though disgustingly brutal, did not touch my feelings beyond revulsion to the mess they’d leave.

What was happening to me?

The brothel turned quiet as Darkaloo was making her way to Soft Fur’s office. Every single room that was used as a spot for fucking was now covered in blood and gore. Except two rooms: Irma’s and Marisa’s. I felt relieved that my friends had left this place before Darkaloo started her rampage.

The office’s door fell after a single strike with Crunchy’s jaw, revealing Soft Fur and two stallions: one was meeting the clients at the counter, and the second was part of his ‘security’. When they saw Darkaloo, fear grabbed them tight. They didn’t move, they didn’t scream. They just stared at the blood-soaked demon.

“Hello, Softy. I believe we have some unfinished business to take care of.” She grinned, and before Soft Fur could say a word, his henchponies fell down on the floor, both decapitated with a single swipe of Smiley.

“Wh-what are you?” Soft Fur mumbled, falling on his rump and crawling away, shivering in terror.

“What am I? Well, let’s start with ‘a very pissed off filly’!” she growled, sending Crunchy forth. It coiled around his neck and then slammed him into the wall.

“Gakh!” Soft Fur coughed and gasped for air, as the monstrous tentacles tightened its grip around his neck.

“And when I’m pissed off, ponies tend to die. Just like this whole bloody place did.” Darkaloo slowly and gracefully trotted towards her last victim.

“You mo- monster!” Fur managed to scream before Crunchy slammed him against the wall again. Darkaloo only cackled at the insult and then spat him right in the face.

“Say what you want, your fate is sealed anyway. Your little love temple is closed. Permanently.”

“You… you think I’m the biggest pony here? It’s… not the only brothel! It’s… much bigger than whatever the fuck you are!” Soft Fur tried to be brave, knowing that he’s facing certain death.

“Oh, really? I didn’t know that.” Darkaloo tapped his chin, releasing Soft Fur. At first, I questioned her decision — he could have escaped this way — but Darkaloo was far more devious than I thought.

“F-fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Soft Fur shouted, before bursting into tears.

It was the first time in my life that I saw an adult cry. Not just sob, but cry bitterly, snoring and whimpering. Darkaloo seemed to enjoy Fur’s torment, his cry drowning in her cackles.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha, don’t be so dramatic, Furry! Everypony make mistakes, time from time… The only difference here is: you won’t live long enough to regret it.” Fur looked at Darkaloo one last time before Smiley plunged its razor sharp fangs into his face. Blood splattered out of the bite, and, with a single pull, Darkaloo tore Soft Fur’s head clean off. However, she was not done desecrating the corpse: when the lifeless body fell on the floor, a puddle of blood slowly forming, she used Crunchy to rip open Fur’s chest. As the last rib that obstructed the view of the heart was torn out and tossed aside, Darkaloo licked her lips.

“The jorney to the stallion’s heart lies through all other organs,” she stated in a lecturing tone before crushing his heart underneath her hooves. The blood splashed out like a fountain, coating her hooves completely.

“You can come out of the hiding place, Scootaloo. I’ve done all the clean-up… Though, wait, there’s one thing left to do.” With these words, she approached the wall, where the dry insulation was sticking out, and then quickly slashed Crunchy’s stone jaw with Smiley’s fangs. A small spark appeared, and soon, the fire was licking the wall it was born on.

“It’s getting a little bit too hot in here, don’t you think?”

***

The fire had spread quickly, engulfing the whole building in a matter of seconds. As Darkaloo was walking away from the blood slaughter, the demon heads started to shiver and shake, before shrinking down and turning back into the wings that I bore. Darkaloo took a few more steps before collapsing into the snow.

I couldn’t believe it when I felt the cold bite my hooves. I was finally back in my body, finally had control over my feelings.

And the first thing I did was run towards the bush and vomit.

Oooh, come on! It wasn’t that bad. Yes, maybe I got a bit carried away, but it wasn’t that bad.

“You…” I didn’t know what to say. Several tears ran down my cheek, as I realized that I had killed. Again. And this time, it wasn’t just one pony, it was over a dozen or more!

Don’t be a sissy. They all deserved it. Whores, pimps and the clients. They’re all filth.

“They were still ponies… And you slaughtered them… like fucking cattle!” I tried to suppress the thoughts that I might be lying to myself, that I actually enjoyed seeing them slaughtered. It was wrong, it was sick. I’d thought it in the heat of the moment, that’s all!

Come on now. I had to do this, Scoots. Otherwise you would have died. She tried to justify her actions. If you become pregnant, you will die the instant the child is born… That’s something I forgot to tell you.

“I don’t fucking care!” What an idiotic rule. It didn’t concern me, anyway, I didn’t even have a coltfriend. “You didn’t have to kill them!”

They would have told. They would have told everypony that you bore the Darkness now. Do you know what would happen then?

I didn’t reply. I really did not want to think about the possibilty of such information getting out. Maybe Darkaloo was right… But she still shouldn’t have killed… She shouldn’t have turned me into a monster.

“I’m done. I’m fucking done!” I exclaimed, limping away from the bush. “I’m not going to use the Darkness! And I’ll find a way to get rid of it!”

Woah, woah! Calm down! It might hear you! Listen, there’s no need to overreact! Just calm down, have a rest and...

“Shut up!” I screamed so loudly my throat hurt. A few seconds passed, but no voice spoke in my head. It seemed that Darkaloo finally shut up.

“Hey! You there?” No reply followed, and I sighed with relief. The first step to getting rid of this nightmarish creature was completed. Now, I just had to get out of here, and find a way to extract this demonic spawn from me.

Maybe Twilight could help me, or Zecora. I wouldn’t stop till I find a cure to end this killer inside me. I had to do something about it.

With such thoughts, I left the burning wreckage behind, hoping I would be able to forget the faces distorted with fear, and bodies ripped apart and bleeding. But most of all, I wanted to forget the disgusting truth of our orphanage’s methods of paying its rent.