Sweetie Belle Learns How to Cook.

by Doctah WAAwee

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2032

After begging her sister to get her cooking lessons. Rarity enlists the help of the local cook...

Sweetie Belle has made it her desire to cook, and since Rarity can't afford a new house. She brings her to the only person oblivious enough to actually try to teach her...

The local human, Pablo.

Published 2014-06-17 12:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-17 12:40:03 UTC

Tasty!

"Pleeeeeease?"

"Now Sweetie, I really don't think-"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Sweetie, it's for your own- oh come now, don't give me those eyes!"

"....Pweeeeeeease?"

Tear.

Rarity sighs and brings her head down in defeat, bringing her hoof to her head to calm the potential migraine that could spring forth from Sweetie Belle's excessive screams of excitement and joy. A tiny vain sprung from her head as her tiny sister jumped around her in joy.

"Alright!" Rarity said quickly in anger, inhale, exhale "I...know of someone how will teach you, Sweetie."

"Alright!" Sweetie yelled in her squeaky but adorable voice. She scuttle jumped in the air for a quick second before running out the door, a tired Rarity begrudgingly going outside as well.

Rarity, as well as the rest of Ponyville, knew that you never let Sweetie Belle anywhere near a kitchen. Disaster always followed...

In fact.

***

Rarity and her friends sat together in the shade of a tree near Fluttershy's house. The checkered blanket sooth and cozy, the tree's leaves rustling relaxingly, and the sun calmingly bearing down on the town. Everything about this picnic could be viewed as picture perfect...

All except the food.

"Uhhh...thank you for the...potato?" Rainbow Dash asked while eyeing her 'food'. A black blobish pile of ash on a plate, the rest of her friends looked on their plates with equal confusion.

Fluttershy looked scared of her plate, and backed away slightly.

"It's a hay sandwich!" Sweetie said, clothed with burnt, black chef's apron and hat. Her eyes shining with anticipation, "well go one, dig in!"

Twilight tried to levitate the blob of...sandwich into the air . The group watched her in eager anticipation as the nervous purple alicorn slowly opened her mouth to eat the...sandwich. Sweetie's eyes became bigger and brighter with every inch that the blob inched closer to the, now sweating, alicorn.

When the blob entered her mouth, she took the tiniest nibble and chewed on the course, thick blob...

...

"Well?" Sweetie asked.

Twilight looked at the blob in surprise.

"It's actually pretty go-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the blob suddenly sprang to life and launched itself into Twilight's face.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" her screams were muffled by the black blob as she fell back on the grass and tried to rip the blob of her.

"Aht hhaeten mah faafe! Aht hhaeten mah faafe!" She screamed 'it's eating my face!' as she rolled on the floor, her friends tried to help her, but their blobs had other ideas.

Rainbow's blob jumped into the air and uppercutted the mare on the chin. Sending her flying into the tree that gave her friends shade.

Applejack's blob jumped and took her hat, running away with surprising speed for something with no legs.

"Come back here you varmint!" She screamed as she somehow forgot about Twilight and chased after her hat.

"Oh, you wanna go, blob!?" Rainbow said as she stood up and got into a fighting position. The blob became a fist and lunged itself towards Rainbow, the fight was on.

"AHHH! Ha Ha! Stop it! Ahhhh, ha, ha! My sides! I can't contain them!" Pinkie screamed in laughter as the blob mercilessly tickled her sides.

Rarity had the foresight to bring a glass container with her and trapped her blob inside it. The black gunk relentlessly pounded on the glass, trying to escape its confines.

"Aww, you're not so bad after all, aren't you?" Fluttershy cooed as she nuzzled with her blob, the gunk made happy yipping noises as Fluttershy played with it.

Sweetie Belle looked on in shock at the display, completely baffled at what she did wrong...

"Maybe I mixed in too much propane?" She said with a confused hoof on her chin.

A sudden burst of light flashed behind the filly.

"Oh girls, I'm hurt that you wou-" Discord started, but stopped as he saw the spectacle in front of him.

"I...wha..." he pointed his paw to Sweetie Belle "did you do this?" he asked without looking away from the blobish nightmare.

"Uh huh..." she nooded and put her head down in shame.

A pair of glasses suddenly appeared on Discord's head as he squinted his eyes and carefully examined the scene in front of him. A clipboard and pencil appeared in his paw and claw. He watched for a couple seconds before writing something down.

"Mmmhmmm..."

*scribble* *scribble*

"Yes...I see."

*scribble* *scribble*

"Never thought of propane..."

*scribble* *scribble*

"Yeah...Ohhhh!"

*scribble* *scribble* *scribble*

"Well!"

He ripped a piece of paper off the clipboard and handed it to Sweetie Belle.

"Congradulations little filly!" an oversized blue cap and gown appeared on Sweetie Belle, replacing her burnt chef's wear, as well as a diploma in her hooves, the cap tilted down and obscured her vision.

"You passed!" Discord said with a laugh. On the piece of paper were random doodles of strange creatures and a big "A+" shown in bright pink neon lights.

"I did!?" Sweetie tilted the cap so she could see and smiled "YAY!...Wait, what did I pass?"

"Why, The final exam of Chaos University, my dear. You've also been voted valedictorian! Congratulations!"

"YAY!" she brought her hooves up in excitement, the cap tilted down again and obscured her eyes, "...What's a valedictorian?" she asked as she brought the cap back to its regular angle.

"Oh details, details! You mind if I borrow your final project?" Discord asked, and Sweetie suddenly remembered that her 'cooking' was kind of attacking her friends.

"Ummm...yeah, that would be nice." she said, and in a final poof, the blobs were off her friends and in Discord's possession.

"Tah Tah!" he said as he disappeared.

The group of friends, some gasping for breath, some sporting some nasty black eyes, and some refitting headwear, looked at the tiny gown clad filly with slight trances of unbridled rage.

"Heheh...did you like the food?" she asked, the cap again shifted down.

***

'Twilight still won't go near sandwiches...' Rarity thought as she cringed in memory of that day, they haven't had a picnic since, and Rainbow Dash is still angry on the grounds that she 'could've beat the thing' given enough time. But she buried that weeks ago, and now it's time to find a teacher for the filly in the ways of cooking...

Though, no one in Ponyville would even stand next to the filly if she's in the kitchen let alone teach her, so she had to resort to...a less than ladylike tactic.

*Knock* *knock*

"Oh, Pablo~! It's Rarity, could you open up!"

After a couple seconds of silence, the sound of footsteps reached the duo’s ears. Sweetie Belle couldn’t stand still with the levels of excitement running through her, she jumped in place and let out tiny sounds of happiness at the prospect of getting her cutie mark in cooking.

The door opened and revealed the resident alien, he had a bored and tired expression on his face. Sweetie had to crane her neck in order to see the face of the 6 ‘3 tan man, he had flat black hair and a white t-shirt and shorts on, both made by Rarity.

“Oi, Oi, what’s with the sudden visit, Rarity?” He says with a suspicious tone.

“Oh, can’t a lady and her sister visit a kind gentlecolt for an afternoon of leisure?” She says, keeping cool.

The human suddenly sat down cross-legged to get to eye level with the pony. He looked her straight in the eye, tiny hazel brown eyes meeting titanic, well cared, blue eyes.

He frowned, “the last time you wanted “an afternoon of leisure”, I was swindled into babysitting the cake babies…Carrot almost bit my finger off and Pound wouldn’t stop hitting me in the back of the head.”

He leaned in closer and frowned deeper, “What do you want this time niña?” he slipped into his native tongue for a second. Rarity laughed.

“Oh nothing. I’m asking you to teach my sister to cook.”

The man raised his eyebrow and looked to Rarity’s left.

“Gah!”

The man looked away when he saw Sweetie Belle’s huge, twinkling, anticipating eyes. There were hearts in them as well, turning up the cute factor to the equivalent of a face full of Gamma rays.

“Oi, Chiquita, are you trying to kill me with those eyes?” The Hispanic man said as he adjusted…barely. He suffered from severe cuteness overload from the little filly.

“Please, can you teach me how to cook? You’re the best chef in Ponyville, I know I can at least learn something!”

Her eyes somehow got even cuter, Pablo’s stomach twisted into a knot from the dangerous amounts of cute.

‘Santo…’

“All right, Sweetie, I’ll teach ya. When do you want to-“

“Now, now, I want to start now!” She happily said, jumping up and down.

He flinched, “Oi, fine. Let’s go in the house and…Rarity?”

Pablo stood up and looked around, Rarity completely disappeared.

“Huh…oh well.”

He felt a warm, furry, sensation wrap around his leg. He looked down and flinched when super kawaii Sweetie Belle hugged his leg and looked up at him with a smile, that he returned.

…

“I’m so sorry…” Rarity said as she walked through Ponyville with a sad expression, “I hope he survives…”

The citizens who overheard the conversation looked at her in shame, and looked over at the human’s house in pity.

***

“Alright Chiquita, Ima teach ya something basic: boiled eggs.” Pablo said while wearing a blue apron. Sweetie Belle, wearing a tiny, white, heart dotted apron nodded excitedly.

“Yes, teacher!”

“Okay, it’s very simple,” he puts a pan on his over and turned on the heat, “you put water in the pan, put an egg in it, and wait for about fifteen minutes, kay?”

She nods excitedly and brings a chair over to the sink, “easy peasy!”

“Alright.” Pablo says as he leaves the kitchen to lay on his couch, “wake me up in ten…”

15 minutes later

Pablo was stirred from his slumber when he felt something light bounce on his chest a couple times. He woke up to see an excited Sweetie Belle hop on his chest.

“I’m done, I’m done, I’m done!” She says while using the man’s chest as a trampoline. He chuckles and pats her on the head.

“Alright Belle lets-…what’s that smell?”

He stands up and puts Sweetie on the floor, who skips next to him into the kitchen…

“Sweetie…” the man says as he looks at the pot of…ash, “where’s the water?”

“Sweetie rubbed the back of her head a little, “I might’ve…burned it a little?” She says as Pablo took the pot and poured it over the sink…

“and…the egg?” he got his answer when a solid, black, oval like shape was found in the ash water. He put it in a bowl and poured cold water over the ‘egg’.

He tried to peel the shell off…but the shell wouldn’t crack, he banged it against the table…

The table spilt in half.

“Jesus!” He screamed when he dodged his table. He looked at the egg and back to Sweetie, who had a sheepish expression on her face.

“How did you do this!?” he asked/screamed to the filly.

“Eh heh heh…uh…I might’ve overcooked it.”

“How do you overcook a hard boiled egg?” He says in confusion as he carefully put the egg in a bag.

“I’m sorry…” she says in a sad, teary voice. He couldn’t take a crying filly, he had to stop that.

“Hey, don’t cry, we all make our…mistakes. Let’s try something else…

“A sandwich, how bad can that be?”

***

Rarity picked up a crying Sweetie Belle from the hospital.

“Dear, it’s…not your fault, okay?”

“I burn everything I touch!” She screams dramatically.

“Pablo will be out in a few…months. But Sweetie, you didn’t know that the sandwich you made would detonate! He protected you from the explosion…a fine gentle…man he is.”

“I’ll…*sniff* make sure he gets better! Maybe I’ll get my fifth degree burn treatment cutie mark!” She says with determination.

Sweetie Belle made up her mind, she would go everyday to Pablo’s room and help him.

She’ll cook for him everyday.

'I'm such a horrible pony' Rarity thinks in guilt.