Pinkie Pie is Best Pony

by Poniez n Stuff

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 1386

Pinkie Pie realizes she's the best.

Pinkie Pie realizes she's the best pony ever and kills all the inferior ponies.

Published 2014-06-02 21:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-04 01:41:56 UTC

Pinkie Pie is Still Best Pony

On the 10,000th day after killing everypony, Pinkie Pie decided that she would make sure that she was still the best pony that has ever lived and will ever live so she brought back every single pony that she killed and even brought back all the ones that died before she killed them and decided to see if any of them were any good at all. She looked at all the Mane 5 and realized that they sucked even more than she remembered so she liquified their organs and they all died. She then looked at Derpy and thought that she was pretty close to being an alright pony, but nothing compared to the almighty pony of perfection, Pinkie. So she shoved her ass in Derpy's mouth and she choked to death on it. She looked at your OC and she thought it sucked (sorry) so she fucking murdered it by dropping it in a pit of acid.

Diamond Tiara then decided to step forward herself because she thought she was better than Pinkie, but Pinkie Pie knew she was fucking wrong and shot laser beams out of her eyes causing her to die. She then looked at Bon Bon and told her to get a consistent voice if she ever wants to even think of having her life spared so Pinkie cut her head off and fed it to Lyra causing Lyra to choke to the point of near death, but end up just orgasming so hard that she exploded and died. Pinkie Pie then looked at all of the Winderbolts and they thought they were pretty cool and that their lives might be spared, but Pinkie still murdered them and laughed. Then Cap'n Crush tried to escape Pinkie's wrath, but she made his nipples fall off causing all of his blood to shoot out of his chest. She then killed like 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 crappy ponies that she didn't even feel like devoting any time to all at once.

She then looked at the CMC and saw Rarity's sister, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom and laughed at them for not even being able to get their cutie marks before killing them in a bloody accident causing them to all die and stuff. Pinkie Pie then looked at the ponified version of Mario and said that his voice was fucking racist and she ripped her heart out and ate it. She then killed every single other pony except for Celestia and Luna again.

She told them they were the worst ponies ever and that they don't deserve to be Alicorns so she cut their wings and horns off and they bled to death. She then laughed for the next billion years straight and decided to bring them all back to life yet again, but they still all sucked and she killed them again. She decided to keep bringing them back and killing them for all eternity because it was really funny.

Pinkie Pie Might Not be Best Pony

One day as Pinkie Pie was brining all her friends back to life and killing them, Cheese Sandwich decided to challenge her to a best pony competition. Pinkie Pie realized that this was the first pony to ever exist that was even close to being anywhere near being even 0.01% as good as her, but that he was almost there. So she decided to take the challenge.

The first challenge was being the cutest and most beautiful pony ever. Pinkie Pie won and she cut Cheese Sandwich's dick off as punishment for losing and then she laughed at him for 10,000 years straight as he was in pain. He didn't die, though because Pinkie wanted to do the rest of the competition.

The second challenge was being the sexiest pony. Cheese Sandwich lost so hard that his brain melted and his heart exploded. Pinkie laughed at him for 20,000 years straight, but he still didn't die yet.

The third challenge was being the most fun party thrower ever. It was a fairly close competition (that didn't even matter because Pinkie won the other two and he'd lose overall no matter what), but Pinkie Pie is the ultimate most fun and bestest most awesome super cool and great pony that has ever lived and she beat him causing him to explode and die. She decided to bring him back to life and keep him as her slave for her to laugh at while he's in pain for the rest of eternity. He was honored to have such a perfect pony own him and everything was awesome for Pinkie as she laughed at him for all eternity.

Pinkie Pie Will Always be Best Pony

Sorry ponies of the future, but Pinkie Pie knows everything that will ever happen and she gave me a vision of the future that proved that she will always be best pony and will always kill not best ponies for not being as good as the all mighty goddess of pony perfection, Pinkie. Every other pony sucks. Sorry, it's fact and stuff.

The end.

Cozy Glow Becomes Best Pony

And then after all of that stuff in the previous chapters, the pony named Cozy Glow (who didn’t exist when this story was originally written) undid all that stuff about Pinkie is best pony and it was revealed that she was actually Best Pony herself.

All that stuff that Pinkie Pie did was undone and done by Cozy Glow instead. Pinkie Pie was placed in ranking and consideration as second best #2 pony, which is still good, but in actuality, Cozy Glow is the one who’s the BEST PONY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pinkie Pie is Best Pony

One day Pinkie Pie was strolling down Ponyville. She waved to all her friends as usual, giving them a warm smile. She sung a song or something and then went over to the lake to get a drink. As she came up to it she noticed her reflection in it and as she saw her face, she realized that she was in fact, best pony. She thought maybe it was Twilight, but Twilight isn't pink which is the best color ever. She'd also considered fashionable Rarity or athletic Rainbow Dash, but then she realized they both suck and she was only friends with them out of pity. She also considered Fluttershy might be the best, but then she remembered that Fluttershy is the most pathetic and worst pony to ever exist. She then remembered Applejack existed, but she knew Applejack was second worst pony. Pinkie was now positive, she was best pony!

She then thought what she would do as best pony and decided the most logical corse of action was to fucking murder every other inferior pony. So she did. She killed Twilight by ripping her wings off and shoving them down her mouth for her to choke on, then murdered Rainbow Dash, Cupcakes style. She ripped Bon Bon in half causing Lyra to cum so hard that she died. She cut off Big Mac's head and beat Apple Bloom to death with it. She laced Applejack's apples with rat poison killing her and Granny Smith. She then came up to Fluttershy and decided a slow and painful death would be funny for her so she stabbed her in the neck and watched her bleed to death. She then cut out Derpy's eyes and shoved them in her anus causing her to bleed to death. She then used a bomb to kill Colgate, Dr. Whooves, ponified Mario, your OC, every single sea pony, Rarity's sister, Scootaloo, Applebloom, and at least 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 more ponies all at once. She ate Diamond Tiara's head and murdered Silver Spoon. She then killed all of the rest of the ponies in Equestria except for Celestia and Luna because she was saving them for last.

She broke into their castle and killed them and ate their bodies then gained their Alicorn powers. She decided to bring all of her friends back to life just to kill them again. It was pretty funny stuff, Pinkie was laughing the whole time.

Pinkie Pie is best pony even when every other pony is alive, but whenever they are alive, Pinkie kills them again for fun.

Oh yeah, she killed Spike too.