The Snooty Deign Dilemma

by Shramper

Mane Mission

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The sun shone through brightly outside Ponyville, where a dog’s fur glimmered and a tortoise’s shell shone. Where a baby alligators’ blank, expressionless stare sparkled and an owl’s head spun round and around. A snow-white cat is grooming itself, while a bunny is busy chewing on a carrot when off in the distance, a messy and sick creature approaches holding the leash for an anxious and panting Lupa.

“Pet Peeves!” shouts Twilight, waving her hooves, calling the grey colt over. “Glad you could make it!” Peeves only mumbles under his breath, as he’s pulled towards the group thanks to his dog’s energy and excitement.
Eventually they make it, in what appears to be a wonderful embrace between Lupa and Winona shortly followed by the sniffing of behinds. Pet Peeves let’s go of the leash, and allows Lupa to run free amongst the animals, despite some past circumstances.

“You look… lovely!” chimes in Rarity after a moment of silence. Peeves smiles as best as he could, but only seems to look snide in his attempt. He opens up a small pack and takes out a sandwich.

“Oh you didn’t need to bring food Peeves,” says Twilight. “Rarity made a huge batch of fruit salad for all of us!” Rarity happily drops the large bowl out onto the picnic sheet, and removes the covering. The smell of strawberries, kiwis and bananas fill the air, while the ponies all lift their noses, in utter bliss. All except for Peeves, who yawns.

“You don’t seem so well… Peeves.” Fluttershy remarks softly. Fluttershy doesn’t know Peeves as well as everyone else, but that’s no reason to be ignorant to his current condition. “Are you sick?”

“Sorry everyone… I was up all night working. Had to get some art supplies yesterday, got into a fight with Snooty again, and Lupa hasn’t been feeling well lately.” Peeves sternly explains. He looks up to see Lupa acting completely normal, perhaps better than he’s seen her in a while. “Yet, she’s perfectly fine now…”

“Why didn’t you say Lupa wasn’t feeling so well?” Fluttershy chokes on some water, wide-eyed. “Let me take a look at her.” She excuses herself from the group and effortlessly calls Lupa over.

“You should see me durin’ Zap Apple Harvest.” chimes in Applejack. “I tell you what, every year the timber wolves appear more and more, and them pots and pans start ringing. I can never get a good night’s sleep around that time.” The group giggles, and Peeves smiles, but maintains his slump.

“Anything I can help you with, per chance?” ask Rarity. “If it’s designs you need, I may be able to give you some… guidance!”

“It’s not fashion design, but I appreciate it.” Peeves answers. “It’s a bit more complicated. But I wouldn’t worry about it girls. I’m fine, I just need to take a break, such as this. See how my friends and doing, and get this damn dog outside.”

“You mean you haven’t been walking her?” a voice echoes from above inside a large tree, where Rainbow Dash wearing a pyjama cap peeks down on the ponies. “Why wouldn’t you? I fly with Tank all the time! It’s fun!”

“I can’t be as loyal to Lupa as you can with Tank, Rainbow.” responds Peeves. “I used to be able to, but doing all this freelance work has gotten me busy, and I hoped that Snooty would do it for me.”

“Right, like that grump would do something as ‘preposterous’ as that.” mocks Rainbow Dash. “I still don’t see why you live with such a crazy mare.”

“She’s not so bad, darling.” Rarity remarks. “She just needs some patience and understanding. Snooty is actually quite intelligent and proper.”

“Properly spoiled I’d say.” calls Applejack. “I’ve only ever spoken with Snooty once, and I wouldn’t likely speak to her again, let me tell ya. She’s a handful, as stubborn as a parasprite.”

“Girls, relax.” Peeves takes a chomp out of his sandwich and takes a heavy gulp of water. “Snoots isn’t so bad, like Rarity says. As long as you come to an agreement, and… well… stay out of her way.”

“You shouldn’t let her push you around!” exclaims Rainbow Dash. “That’s your place! You do her dishes, clean the house, and take care of Lupa on your own!” Rainbow crosses her arms as her wings seem to flap more aggressively. The other ponies begin to look worried, as they stare at Peeves for an answer.

“Snooty…” Peeves pauses. “Snooty is misunderstood.” Peeves doesn’t hesitate to eat more of his sandwich until he starts to look around nervously.
“Where is Lupa?”

Winona sniffs vigorously at the ground, the smell of Lupa is pretty unmistakable. The usual smell of dog shampoo, with a hint of wetness, much like mildew or a wet sponge. The ponies are all walking at a moderate pace except for Peeves, who struggles to both keep up and slow down.

“Peeves, why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” insists Twilight.” We’ll find Lupa and bring her back shortly.”

Peeves looks up, to Twilight’s surprise, in tears. Peeves doesn’t say a word, as he hangs his head low, slowly making his way back home, sniffing and leaving wet drops on the ground with every step. The girls don’t realize their pause as they watch Peeves drag himself away.

“I’ve lost Winona a few times, but I’ve never been that upset.” says Applejack. “Is this his first time losing his dog?”

“I’ve seen Peeves and Lupa together.” Fluttershy replies. “They’re bond is strong, I couldn’t possibly imagine the pain he’s going through.”

“He’ll be fine!” Rainbow Dash confidently says. “I bet we’ll find this dog in no time! Let me fly up and see if I get any signs of the thing!” Rainbow swoops and zooms far into the sky. Winona still sniffing, but almost without any luck.

“Winona is still sniffing, but we’ve been walking down this path for at least half an hour.” Applejack sighs. “It’s like the scent is there, but only barely.”

Winona’s scent picks up, but only after bumping into a local and familiar Zebra. Zecora carries a rough sackcloth bag, which Rarity edges away from awkwardly. What lies inside is a various amount of vials and herbs.

Ponyville’s shops, are better than most,

but my opinion is not one to boast!

Greetings to you all, but might I ask,

where are you going? What is your task?

The girls give a brief explanation to Pet Peeves predicament, much to Zecora’s surprise. Rainbow Dash soon lands down to greet Zecora as well, only to be given a harsh stare followed by a harsh response:

A creature, no dog, gone loose from it’s pack

Always has a way of making it’s way back.

But not before, leaving behind a scent,

which would no doubt, make your weary friend, spent.

“What do you mean, scent?” Twilight questions. “And what do you mean ‘a creature, no dog’? Are you saying Lupa isn’t one?”

“Well we could never tell what it was to begin with…” snaps Rainbow Dash. “It didn’t look like any dog I’ve ever seen.” The ponies start to discuss, but not before Applejack notices Winona still sniffing at the ground. She takes a closer look at Winona to find her eyes dull and expressionless, and her nose dry. Winona sniffs at a steady pace, rather than racy as before, and no other body part seems to move. Tugging at Winona’s leash provides no response.

“Girls,” Applejack warns. “We may got a problem on our hands. We better go see Peeves. Zecora, will you come with us?”

Come, I will. But heed my call,

this is a smell that can make the greatest fall.

If my warnings, and fears are to be true,

There is nothing I can do for you.

The girls arrive at Peeves place, with the door open. A horrible stench crawls from the doorway into the ponies noses. Twilight cringes, Applejack shivers, Rarity gags, Fluttershy winces, Rainbow Dash heaves, and Zecora gasps.

“That’s a scent alright… could someone just close the door? This smells almost as bad as Snowflake’s gym locker. “Rainbow Dash coughs, as she covers her mouth with her wing. Twilight uses her magic to close the door, and the group re-adjusts themselves.

This is worse than I thought. What is to be,

unknown to you as it is to me.

Everfree magic, as old as it gets,

Take care, and take heed for you and your pets.

“What is going on Zecora? What is happening to poor Peeves?” begs Rarity. The others, still recuperating from the stench, lean in and look at Zecora for any insight.

“It doesn’t matter, we have to go in and help Peeves!” yells Rainbow Dash. “He’s obviously in trouble!”

Zecora closes her eyes and signals them to follow her towards her home deep in the Everfree forest, but not before daring anyone to enter Peeve’s house without passing out, and suffering a fate much like Winona. The dog still functions, and reacts to simple commands, but any personality or other signs of life have been drained completely.

As the ponies cautiously walk through the Everfree, carefully minding the poison joke, ignoring the occasional noises lurking in every direction, the forest starts to smell peculiar and familiar. Much like the smell from Peeve’s place.

The smell, the smell! Now, we must go

there is more to this that I will show.
The ponies hurry through the brush and quickly enter Zecora’s hut, shutting the door. The smells of potions, herbs, and concoctions overtake the Everfree’s new scent, and although not harmful as they believe, most definitely not something they can get used to. Everypony watches as Zecora browses her bookshelves, digs through her chests, and scrounges around her tables until she finds a torn piece of a paper of notable material. She lays the paper before them, which takes up a considerable size of the table she places on. Although damaged in a few places, with several slashes, tears, and even some burn marks, the paper remains intact and thankfully, readable. Unfortunately, not to these ponies.

This parchment presents a foe

who passes from places to and fro

creates a bond to those unaware

leaving a mark, but leaving no prayer.

The rest is cut, some words make out,

Flora, Twilight, Refusal, and Drought.

Don’t fret dear ones, but I do require

A large cauldron, and a burning fire.

It starts getting dark outside by the time the ponies get some answers. Zecora slowly stirs a thick yellow substance after several minutes of liquids, powders, and chunks of bark are thrown in. Zecora starts to hum with her eyes closed, while the ponies look on in wonder.

“This is a load of horse feathers, we’re not making ANY progress!” complains Rainbow Dash in a hushed tone, but only barely. Zecora twitches, but continues her chanting.

“Sit down Rainbow, Zecora is our only lead.” shushes Twilight, who brushes Rainbow Dash away. Rainbow slumps down on all fours and closes her eyes, expecting a quick nap until a loud boom from the cauldron startles her and Fluttershy.

The ponies unplug their ears and open their eyes from the sudden noise to find the cauldron mostly empty except for a small puddle of mossy green water.

This potion, to whoever drinks

is immune to the smell’s jinx

They must drink this potion, and save their friend

from mysterious dangers, to an untimely end.

The ponies look down into the cauldron, and witness Zecora collect the fluids with a baster, shortly followed by the shaking of a vial. The liquid stays green, but changes shades with every shake. The smell is almost identical to the smells of the Everfree Forest.

“There’s only enough for one pony…” Twilight whispers, and soon witnesses everyone backing off.

“I will not drink that.” announces Rarity. “I nearly pass out every time I smell such an abomination. I doubt I would be able to let alone TASTE it.”

“I would everypony… honestly.” chimes Fluttershy shyly. “But I’m sure there’s more to that house than just a smell… I don’t think I would be the best candidate.”

“It’ll need someone who is not only determined, but tough and courageous.” gulps Applejack. She quickly glimpses at Rainbow whose starring at the vial viciously, sweating. Applejack takes a deep whiff of the potion and pauses. “It’s no worse than the farm, let me tell ya. But this one sure packs a punch.”

“Well it’s either Rainbow or Applejack.” declares Twilight. “I’m going to go to the Library and see what I can find on this peculiar scenario. Until one of you chooses, I have a plan.”

“Well I’m not drinking it. Not unless there’s another way.” expresses Rainbow Dash. “How do we even know Peeves is in his house?”

“Someone else could have some clues onto what’s happened… like…” it suddenly hits Applejack, as she turns towards the rest of the ponies. They all say at once:

“Snooty Deign!”

A cork is placed in the potion as tight as it could, before the ponies set out outside the Everfree back into Ponyville. When they finally leave the forest, a large crowd gathers near the home of Pet Peeves and Snooty Deign. As the ponies approach, they notice a lot of the townfolk holding their noses in disgust, and asking all sorts of questions to Twilight Sparkle. By the time they reach the front of the crowd, they see Mayor Mare and several police ponies placing warning tape and telling ponies to stay away.

“Oh, Twilight. We were hoping you’d arrive. At first we thought it was some sewage blockage, or a septic tank compromised. What is going on here?” The Mayor looks past Twilight and her friends towards the crowd, who looks very distressed and angry. “If we can’t do something about this soon, the ‘good’ folks of Ponyville may… turn bad.”

“We are looking into it Mayor Mare.” Twilight assures. “We have some leads thanks to Zecora, but what have you discovered so far?” A police pony, who was eavesdropping, approaches with a gas mask. His voice is muffled, but still understandable.

“We haven’t been able to get anywhere close. The smell is just too potent, even for these gas masks. We’ve hoped to use some oxygen tanks to get through, but the tanks would puncture once we get to the door.”

“Have those with the gas tanks been able to look inside?” asks Twilight. “Maybe there’s some clues as to what’ going on from inside.”

“Negative.” responds the police officer. “The stench seems to thicken into a cloud that only forms from inside. We have checked out the door to find lots of scratch marks and stains on it however. We’ve been able to get a few samples before our squad couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Have you seen anyone else come by here?” Twilight questions. “We know the pony who owns the place also has a roommate and several close friends that come by on times such as this.”

It wasn’t long after the question that several voices amongst the crowd of mumbles and whispers are heard, calling for Pet Peeves and Snooty Deign. The crowd starts to get agitated, and more assertive. Twilight flies up into the sky to the best of her abilities, maintains her altitude, and clears her voice.

“Citizens of Ponyville. “ Twilight declares with utmost clarity and strength, much like a princess should. “The situation is under investigation, and will only be hindered by this crowd you have gathered. Go back to your homes, and I can promise you, that this problem will be solved.”

“I live just next door!” a colt up front voices. “I can’t go about my daily life with this stench entering my house!”

“My children are crying constantly!” expresses a mare, carrying two fillies, bawling. “How are we supposed to simply IGNORE this smell?”

The crowd gets more anxious, as questions and voices start to multiply. The crowd starts to get louder, and Twilight and her friends start to worry. Twilight decides to try something, as her horn starts to glow brightly and the crowd begins to quiet down. Twilight turns slowly towards the house, and her magic hums. In an almost disappointing manner, a small pink bubble forms at the tip of her horn, but soon grows exponentially. Twilight Sparkle flies slowly towards the house, as the bubble envelops the house along with the police officers, Mayor Mare, and her friends. Eventually a large, bright, but translucent bubble covers the area, as the crowd looks on in awe.

“I… I don’t smell anything.” someone in the crowds says in disbelief. Everyone else removes what handkerchiefs or clothespins they had and soon rejoice, cheering on Twilight Sparkle. But little do they know, Twilight isn’t done her spell.

“I didn’t think this would work… unfortunately I also didn’t think this through.” Twilight conveys, as she sits on the ground, with her horn still aglow. “This is a lot like my brothers spell he used at his wedding, but just slightly modified. It doesn’t defend against changelings, but you can sure bet it protects us from their smell.”

The ponies have a small laugh and a sigh of relief before they notice that the smell hasn’t disappeared entirely. With some scanning of the surrounding environment and the mob outside the bubble,
The ponies soon learn that the spell is contained inside with them.

“This is as much as I can do. I have to stay here and maintain this shield.” Twilight explains. “I was hoping there was another alternative I could find in the library, but the mob outside was making me anxious.” The ponies nod and sigh.

“But I do have a plan.” Twilight starts stamping the ground in front of the house, scratching against it, making marks. Sooner than later, various diagrams and images are skewed into the ground. The ponies look at the quick dirt-sketches in curiosity before looking at Twilight, whose eyes move erratically towards her drawn out plan. Not a word is spoken, until Applejack pipes in.

“So…” she hums. “What’s this all about, sugarcube?” Applejack leans in close to the drawings, in case she missed something. But to no surprise, does she find they’re all rather simple and hastily made. Only Twilight could decipher everything, if she wasn’t scheming up a plan in her head.

“Ok. I got it.” Twilight blurts out to the surprise of the ponies, and to the shock of Fluttershy. “This is how it’s going to go down. I’m going to need one of you for each of these jobs I’ve drawn up.” The ponies soon discover the drawings are a mix of locations, and stick figures doing activities. A small and crude drawing of town hall lies in the centre of it all, as well as a circle to represent where the ponies are.

“Sometimes I tend to forget that friendship doesn’t just lie with us.” Twilight ponders, leading up towards a point. “Friendship is all around. We may not be friends with one pony down the street, or another working the shop, but they certainly have friends of their own that have just has magic as we do!” The ponies smile and agreed joyfully.

“That’s right!” Pinkie exclaims. “I know what you mean, Twilight. We’re going to find Pet Peeves friends right?” Pinkie Pie looks down on the plan enthusiastically. “Maybe Pet Peeves friends know something? About his dog, about his condition, certainly some answers, right?”

“Does anypony know who Pet Peeves hangs out with?” Twilight inquires. She knows very well in her mind, as well as the other ponies, who the obvious candidate is, but decides to ignore it unless there’s no alternative.

“I know Bond Remedy has spoken about Pet Peeves and their hangouts on occasion.” Applejack hesitantly remarks. “Although… he usually says it’s been a while. He may know some things, but probably not recently.”

“That sounds like a good start.” states Twilight. “So Applejack, can I count on you to set up a hangout with Bond? See if you can find anything about Pet Peeves and any history he’s had.” Applejack nods and sets off with Winona, who barks excitedly once the leave the bubble. The bubble flashes for a sec once Applejack leaves, as the space grows slightly, but significantly.

“I’m going to need some books from the Library. I need specifics, and somepony with a good eye. The books I likely need won’t be easy to find.” Twilight looks towards the ponies who stare back in slight worry. It only ever occurred to the ponies left, that even though they’ve searched through the Library for books in the past, they were never particularly good at it. All except for Pinkie. The ponies slightly turn to look at her before they notice her looking excitedly back. Before a word could be said, Pinkie shoots right off.

“I HAVEN’T EVEN TOLD YOU WHAT BOOKS TO FIND!” Twilight screams, but it’s too late. Pinkie Pie is nowhere to be seen, thanks to the flash of the bubble after her departure. Twilight angrily snorts. “Someone go find her at the Library, and get me some paper and a pen. I’ll need to write these down.”

Twilight writes a long list of books on a small scrap of paper conveniently left outside the door step to Peeves house. As she writes her final entry to the list, the quill snaps.

“Well thankfully everything is listed. Who wants to go search with Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy moan a bit. Fluttershy reads over the list, and to her astonishment recognizes some of the books.

“I’ll do it.” Fluttershy determinately says. “I know a few of these books, and where they’d be.” She grabs the paper with her teeth, and flies away from the bubble. Only Rarity and Rainbow Dash remain.

“I’m going to need someone to help Zecora, relay any ingredients she’ll need for some more of those potions, in case you-know-who isn’t up for it.” Rainbow salutes.

“I’M ON THE CASE!” Rainbow zooms out of the bubble towards the Everfree Forest. Rarity looks down to see Twilight looking at her worryingly. Rarity knows exactly what she has to do, and where she can go. Finding this pony will not be easy, nor will her compliance to drinking an unknown, smelly potion.

Rarity trots off, leaving Twilight alone. A majority of the crowd has already left by this time, attending to their daily activities, while some stay put out of wonder and curiosity. Mayor Mane steps forward, looking at her plan.

“What do you intend to do, Princess Twilight?” the mayor asks, as she studies the plan. She notices Sugarcube Corner with a strange shape attached to it, as well as the Library with a heart symbol not far above it. Several locations have stripped trails leading towards various nondescript houses around the village, and some have X’s in place.

“I can’t say your much of an artist Ms. Twilight, but you are quite the cartographer.” The Mayor mumbles. Twilight doesn’t pay attention, as she sits down and closes her eyes, meditating. She opens her mouth for the last little while until the ponies return.

“I suggest you leave Mayor Mare.” Twilight insists. “I have a feeling that this will not end well for your town, and for our citizens.” She slowly inhales and exhales, to the surprise of Mayor Mare, what with the smell from the house. The Mayor leaves quickly, knowing how, but not what to prepare for. Twilight opens her eyes slightly to see the darkness within the household. It’s pitch black starting at the door frame, it almost scares Twilight to know what lies inside. The more she stares, the more an overwhelming sense of doom comes upon her. She closes her eyes shut and barely focuses, as she finds her sense of smell isn’t the only thing affecting her.


Author's Note

Figured enough time has passed. Here's the 2nd chapter.

Enjoy.

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