-A Derpy Life Painted In Grey-

by DerpyWings345

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad
Length: 997

The letter has been written. The pocket knife has been drawn. These are the final minutes in Derpy's life.

This is the prequel to -A Derpy Farewell-
It is set in Derpy's point of view.

The letter has been written. The pocket knife has been drawn. I'm currently facing the hardest, and last action of my time here in Equestria.

My name is Derpy, and these are the final minutes... of my life.

Published 2014-06-03 19:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-03 19:50:03 UTC

I'll Miss You So...

Dearest Doctor Whooves,
It's me. Derpy.
I have sent this letter to you, because... well... by the time you get this letter I'll be gone, dead, forever at peace... at last.

I... decided to kill myself. I bet you are wondering why I've decided to do this, huh?

Over the years, I have had... some serious bullying issues. Every pony, seems to have picked on me, because of my... Derpy eyes and look. I just couldn't take it anymore!

About a week ago, (at least, it will be a week, when you get this letter,) I was at Sugarcube Corner, enoying a tasty bannana muffin. I looked around, but I saw a group of 7 teenage stallions, pointing and laughing at me. I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't...

Did I really stand out that much, compared to all of the other ponies?

The stallions, they... came over to me. They began... punching me and laughing at me harder than ever before. Every other pony saw, but I didn't see any of them trying to save me. In the end, I had to fight my own fight. I used everything I knew about karate, to kick and punch my way out of the gang. Every pony just carried on though, like nothing had happened. I burst into tears and ran home. None of the other ponies came to check on me. It was the last time, that I ever showed my face to some pony.

That wasn't the first time I have been bullied. I've been counting. Over the past 3 years, I've had 25 bullying cases.

Nopony wants me. Even when I'm at peace, nopony will ever talk about me, or visit my grave. They'll just erase me out of their memory, forever.

Don't feel bad Doctor Whooves. I'm where I should be now. I will always be watching you from above. In fact... now will probably be the best time to tell you, how I really feel about you.

You have always been by my side. You helped me overcome some of my fears in life. I will forever be in your debt for that. You cared with me, played with me, and pretty much helped me through my dark, gloomy life. You are like a candle in the darkness, lighting up the way.

Doctor Whooves...
I love you.
Goodbye.
Derpy Hooves
xxx

I finished up the letter with a few kisses. I really did love Doctor Whooves. He was the only thing I had to stand on...
But even he could not make my life worthwhile.

I tried to make the letter very brief. I did not have very good writing experience. The worst flaws were my commas and spelling. I had spelled banana wrong again, and I was going to fix it, but there was no time...

I walked outside for the very last time, staying in the gloomy shadows so that nopony could see me. I tried to stay out there for as little time as possible. The longer I stayed, the longer somepony would have to notice me...
I didn't want that.
I couldn't have that.

After a while, I reached Doctor Whooves' big house. I slid the letter in his mailbox, shedding a tiny tear as a looked at his house for the very last time...
I would never see it again.
I would never see him again.

It was a dark, gloomy evening, yet Ponyville was still busy. There were ponies pulling and riding taxi carts, and walking along the old, dusty streets. All of them could of seen me and my wonky eyes.
When I commited suicide, I hoped that my eyes would be closed, so nopony could see them and laugh at them ever again.

I closed the door behind me, locking it tight shut. I raced about in my house, closing every window and pulling shut all of my draping flower curtains. I tripped once, almost falling down the stairs. I bet I would of let myself fall, snapping my neck and pulling my limbs. However, I just wasn't ready yet.

I went into my kitchen and pulled open a draw that I had not opened for years...

My cutlery draw.

I usually made hoof food. It was easier for me, since I didn't have to deal with dropping the knife and fork. I despised the loud clatter they would make, when they fell to the floor.

I picked out my most dangerous weapon...
My pocket knife.
My parents had given it to me when I was little, saying that I could use it to end their misery...

Yes. My own parents didn't even want me...
I was abused. I was punched, kicked, screamed at and... even knocked out once.

Painful, painful memories.
But I was about to leave that all behind.
I was going to a nicer, calmer universe.
The universe of peace.

I walked into my living room, the scenery around me dark and scary. It was pretty gloomy, but there was no point turning a light on.
I opened the pocket knife, sliding my hoof down it's shiny, metal blade.
I had never used it before, so it almost looked new. I was surprised that I hadn't thrown it away.
Must of forgotten about it, I guess. I did that a lot.

I pointed the knife towards me, it's blade almost piercing my chest.
My heart was beating so fast, that I thought it would burst out!

Did I dare?
Could I do it?

For one second, I thought of closing the pocket knife. I could throw it away forever, get the letter out of Doctor Whooves' mailbox. I could forget about this, and-

NO.

I had suffered too much to forget.

My heart was beating, my chest pounding, my body becoming matted and soggy with sweat.
I closed my eyes, and shed a few tears...

I stabbed the knife into my chest, and everything turned white.