Regrets of a Lightning Bolt
Regrets of a Lightning Bolt
I have done many things in my days, many things I regret. Running away when my parents died, turning my back on my family, selling my body to make ends meet, even nearly taking the lives of five innocent mares whose only mistake was being there for their friend. I have done many terrible things…
I have also done many great things in my life, things that I should feel good about. Beating the odds and getting a grant for Cloudsdale Preparatory School, saving those orphans from the fire when the orphanage burned down, my flight training, and getting into the Wonderbolts Academy. I have done many great things…
My life was always on a timer, I suppose. I guess that it is only natural when you set your goal to be faster. I lived at the speed of sound through my life, and I have paid for it dearly. Never have I slowed down to smell the flowers, never have I slowed down to find a friend, never have I slowed down to be a lover. There are many things I was too fast to do. I guess the moral to my life is going fast and loose is not the way to live, eventually you have to slow down or you will crash. Sure I have done and seen things others can only dream of, but at what cost? When does it become too much? When can one say that they had enough? When you burn out every avenue, cross every bridge, and are left with nothing, that is the cost, that is enough, that is too much.
I could say that fate is a cruel mistress, but I would be lying. I brought every little thing down on myself, and I am the only one to blame. I ran away from everything, never willing to make amends, never willing to try things another way. I forsook my own family for buck sakes. I lived without a single friend, without anypony there to help me, without a single shoulder to cry on, without a single hoof to bump. I flew fast, I went fast, I lived fast, but they never tell you how something moving too fast can burn up. Eventually it will all come speeding down like a meteor, burning up in the sky we pegasi love so much. Two years ago I would have said that it is worth it, but now… now I am not so sure. The only thing I am sure at this time is that I was that meteor, I was too fast, I went too far. I wish I didn't choose this path, but it is too late for me to go back. If there is one thing that I don't regret, is that I chose this path in the first place. I probably should regret it, but as long as somepony out there in the great wide world learns my tale and chooses to not make the same mistakes I did, then it will be worth it. Look at me, setting myself up as a martyr… I am anything but. I want no martyrdom, I want no fancy titles, I don't even want to leave my mark on society anymore, I just want somepony out there to choose a better path, learn from my mistakes, so they don't end like I did.
This is where somepony would say that they love their family, but I couldn't do that to them. I ran away and never looked back. They have had more than enough time to come to terms that I was gone from their lives. Telling them that I love them at this point would just be opening up old wounds. Also there is the fact that I don't know any of them enough to be able to say that I love them. Like I said, there are many things that I regret.
While I am doing this little remembrance thing, I would like to say something to you Rainbow Dash. I am sorry for what I did at the academy, I was foolish, and your friends nearly died because of it. I respect you Dash, you are everything I wish I had been, fast, loyal, and strong. You are what I could have been if I didn't take such a dark path. I respect you, and I hope that in the end, you could learn to respect me, even if it is only a little bit. Tell your friends that I am sorry for everything that I did, and that I wish them the best in life.
Final regards of a fallen lightning bolt,
Lightning Dust
Police Report: Case 7314
Subject: Lightning Dust
Cause of Death: Suicide
Guard Captain Steelhoof has reviewed the evidence, and has come to the conclusion that Lightning Dust hung herself at approximately eleven-forty-five post meridiem on September the seventeenth after an extreme bout with depression. Autopsy reports no controlled substances or alcohol in the subject's system at the time of death, and no evidence of magical interference, so the subject was lucid and in full control of her mental faculties.
I will be as brief as I can. The subject made some interesting changes to her will before taking her own life. She wants her suicide note published in the Equestrian Times, so everypony knows her mistakes and can learn from them. She also wants printed copies sent to Rainbow Dash of Ponyville, Spitfire of Cloudsdale, and Lightning Breeze (her aunt) of Vanhoofer. She also wanted all of her belongings to be auctioned or sold, and have the bits delivered to the Greener Pastures Orphanage as a donation. A small sub-note on her will stated that she wanted her flying goggles delivered to Rainbow Dash accompanying the printed copy of her suicide note.
I would say that this case is open and shut, as it is, but I think we could all learn a thing or two from Lightning Dust. Forgive me for waxing poetic, but even though she burned out like a meteor, she will leave a shining impression on us all.
Commissioner True Justice
