Night Court

The Princess and I wondered the halls. We had been walking for quite some time. Luna occasionally mumbled to herself. I couldn’t hear what she said but I think it was similar to “this place changes every night.”

Luna stopped before a golden door, “This is my sister’s room,” she said with a sinister smile, “Would you help me wish her a good night.”

I didn’t know what she was thinking but went along with it. We entered Celestia’s room. The princess laid on her bed in peaceful slumber. Luna creepily crawled to her sibling. I gently hovered behind Luna.

Celestia looked as though she was knocked out. She was breathing but not moving. The fact that there were no guards anywhere near her made me believe an assassin could merrily burst through the front door, shove a pie in Celestia’s face, and walk out without any conflict. In fact, that’s most likely what me and Luna are doing.

Luna’s wicked grin grew. Whatever diabolical plot she had in mind, she was about to reveal it.

The princess took a deep breath and shouted “Good Night, Tia,” as loudly as she could. Surprisingly, Celestia wasn’t pushed back by the force of her voice. Instead, she jumped into the ceiling. I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter as the maiden of the sun crashed down, on her bed, wearing a chunk of the ceiling as a necklace. Celestia glared at me then to Luna.

“Your new assistant should know; if he does anything similar to what you just did, I’ll have him banished to the Badlands,” Celestia growled.

I immediately stopped laughing.

Luna rolled her eyes, “Tis just a harmless prank, sister, my assistant will only be responsible for giving me access to your room.”

Celestia huffed and slammed her head on a pile of pillows, “We both know you don’t need assistance with that.”

Luna chuckled as Celestia moaned.

“Very well, we shall head off to our nightly duties. Until tomorrow, Tia.”

“Good night, Lulu.”

Me and Luna left the room as swiftly as we entered it. The door gently shut. Luna still giggled over her prank. We headed off to the next destination.

“You seem to have a good relation to your sister. Why haven’t we heard much of you?”

Luna stopped, “We… weren’t always this close.” She ominously stated.

I suppose I’m not going to get anything else out of her. Maybe Celestia will fill me in?

We continued to wonder the halls, this time I was aware of our destination. Luna wanted a midnight snake before my “test” so we were going to take a visit to the kitchen. Good thing there are maps every couple staircases. I don’t think we’d ever be able to find the kitchen without them. They must have a master organizer working here because each area is color coded. The kitchen was in the “Blue” area of the map which was just a few steps away from our current location in the “Purple” area. I guess purple was the royal bedrooms and the princesses didn’t want to be far from their cake. I might get smacked for that statement. Glade the princesses don’t read minds.

Luna opens the door to the dinning room. I see the kitchen on the other side of the incredibly long room. It’s as though-

“GET THE BLOODY FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING KITCHEN, YOU BLOODY MONKEY!” a voice booms from the other side.

One of the chefs was running as fast as he could, away from a clever that appeared to be enchanted (or cursed) to follow him. Said chef ran right between me and Luna. I gave him an undignified look only to turn to see the enchanted (cursed) clever aiming for the soft spot between my eyes.

I closed my eyes and flinch as I worried about getting an unwanted headache with accessory. Thankfully, Luna put up a small shield and saved me. Not sure but I think I saw a disappointed look on her.

“Oh Chef!” Luna sang ironically softly to the other side of the room. How is it even possible to do that while shouting?

I couldn’t tell what it was but I saw movement on the other side. An aura of intense rage filled the air. Brimstone filled my nostrils as a unicorn, seething in anger, slowly waltzed to us. His eyes glowed like fire, a strong scowl plastered his face, and every step he took created tremors that shook the entire castle. His presence brought fear. I was terrified to move as he stood right in front of me and Luna, mere meters from us! He looked at me, then to Luna, back to me, and Luna again.

“Good evening, Luna. Here for a midnight snack?” the frightening stallion spoke with a calm voice.

“Yes, Chef, I would like the usual.” Luna politely stated.

Chef immediately glared at me. Or I think he did, hard to tell with the voice he’s using.

“Um… I would like an onion, if that’s ok…” I awkwardly say.

Chef vanished in a flash of light. An onion strikes me hard. Luna giggles and trots to the still farthest side of the room. I munched on my onion peacefully. If I’m going to be working here, I better become friends with the Chef or risk being pelted by produce.

Or worse things may happen to me.

When me and Luna finally made it to the other side, a plate with a small cake laid waiting for Luna. Chef stood next to it with a smile. Luna ate the cake, wiped her muzzle, and gave the empty plate back to Chef. Chef glared at me once more. I hope I didn’t do something that pissed him off. I don’t want to be on the wrong end of a stray knife!

Leaving the dinning area, we gaze upon the map. Luna examined the map with a hoof. She waved her hoof over the “You are here” dot to the red area.

“They moved the armory to the farthest side of the castle in my absence,” Luna sighs, “I do wish it were closer.”

Armory? What in tartarus does this test involve?!

Regardless, I followed her to the other side of the castle. Good thing was getting to see the entire castle. Bad thing was the dull walking. I agree with Luna, the armory should be closer to the dinning area. What if a battle started while we were eating?

Eventually, we made it to the armory where a couple strange ponies were waiting. One was a stallion with bat wings. The other was a mare with obsidian armor and bat wings. She was laughing hysterically at the weapon the stallion held.

A bronze warhammer.

Out of the corner of me eye, I saw Luna shake her head.

“Oak Shield, we have told you to use weapons suitable for your built,” Luna frowned disapprovingly, “If you wish to keep that heavy thing your foes will enjoy feasting upon your entrails.”

That was… grim… She sounded angry.

Oak Shield dropped the hammer and ran to the back. The mare huffed and stared right into my eyes.

“New meat for the manticores?” She asked.

Luna’s glare could be felt miles away. I felt that, if we were outside, storm clouds would gather and expel lighting to give off a dramatic display of her rage.

“We hath told ye to cease your taunts! Yest your taunts become your end.” Luna’s voice pushed the mare backwards. Only enough to break a box or two. No damage was done to the armor.

“Sorry,” she mound sarcastically, “Names Nightingale, Nightingale Wind. I’ll be on patrol duty with you, Luna, and Oak.”

A loud bang and wail followed the last name.

“Idiot almost died last night,” Nightingale chuckled, “Twelve bits says he loses a hoof this night.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle with Nightingale. Luna’s gaze ended our small fit.

I swear, those eyes could end a predator’s diet.

“I shall fetch my armor,” Luna trotted to the back, “Nightingale, ensure my new assistant to be is prepared for his first test.”

As Luna walked away, Nightingale glanced over to me. I assumed she was measuring me up. I accurately predicted the next words she said.

“Hope you last longer that the last one. We could only find half of his face in-between the teeth of a hydra.”

Well… I could’ve accurately predicted it…

Nightingale escorted me to a round room that had several mannequins encircling the walls. Only four mannequins were in the room. Starting from the one closest to me going clockwise, I saw; A glorious set of Equestrian Bronze armor (favored by Celestia and her day guard), a subtle set of Mithril armor, a moderate set of Obsidian armor (similar to the set Midnight wore), and a pitch black set of Ebony armor. I noticed that the armor sets were patterned to be heavy, light, light, heavy.

Nightingale turned to get my attention.

“Want my advise? I’d go for obsidian. Bronze is too weak, mithril is too shiny, and ebony is too heavy. Obsidian is perfect for a pegasus.”

I took her advice and grabbed the obsidian armor.

“You’re not as dumb as you look,” Nightingale chuckled, “Ok, now for a weapon.”

I followed her to the next room. It looked like a basic training room.

I observed the weapons that laid on the long rack. Nightingale eagerly plucked a short sword and started practicing on one of the dummies.

I noticed a staff with rounded silver ends. I have some training with the staff in my old martial arts lessons. I grabbed the staff and twirled around with it. Some things just come back to you.

“Nice!” Nightingale whistled, “Didn’t think you’d know how to use any of those. Then again, how hard is it to play with a stick?”

Nightingale’s laughter is starting to get annoying. Thankfully her raucous ended quickly. If only Luna’s presence wasn’t intimidating.

“A staff… Well, hopefully we won’t run into too much danger,” Luna sighed, “Come, we have a full night to ensure the roads and towns are safe.”

I didn’t wish to argue with anything and went with them. We were just set up in a small carriage flown by a couple night guards. Nightingale joyfully cuddled with her blade. To be honest, the mare was the creepiest thing I have ever been around. Oak, on the other hoof, was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever been around. He was wearing bronze armor with red strips painted on the sides! Did he think he was a hotrod? His weapon of choice was an axe. At least it wasn’t a giant battleaxe. That would’ve taken up the entire carriage. I still wonder what material that green stuff is. Luna, of course, was the most stunning image to see. She wore silver lined ebony armor. The helmet shaped into a crown that wrapped around her horn. Her most elegant weapon was a customized sword that had a crescent moon hilt. I almost felt silly being the only one with a non-edged weapon.

The carriage landed and we got out in unique ways. Nightingale flamboyantly somersaulted out and landed with the sword in her mouth. Impractical, but looked cool. Luna flared her wings while swinging her blade back and forth. Intimidating yet elegant. Oak tripped over the side and cut himself trying to get a good grip on his axe. I just walked off behind Luna.

We were just outside Canterlot. No eminent dangers, just city guards trying to stay awake. Luna and Nightingale walked down the road. Oak clumsily got up and rushed towards them. I simply followed far behind.

Thankfully the first town was merely a few hundred miles away. We only saw some peaceful nocturnal animals such as raccoons and ferret hounds. Cute little bests, ferret hounds, size of a lap dog but able to eat through stone once their teeth developed. Oak Shield jumped at them. Thinking they were threats. Only threat he had to deal with was his loins being bitten off.

Hahaha! Those things defiantly knew where to attack their foes!

The town was named Ponyville. As far as I could tell, absolutely zero night life in this town. It was dull! What interest happens here? Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. After smacking Oak upside the head, we went to a far more interesting place. I think Luna referred to it as the Everfree forest. Nightingale was overjoyed about going in there.

If I were to describe the forest; dark, eerie, and dangerous would be the words I’d use.

The section closest to town was no problem. The beasts seem to stay away from the townsfolk. I suppose that’s a good thing. Nightingale was visibly anxious but in a way that made her look ready to kill the first thing she sees. The back of my mind tells me to keep my guard up, so I did. The farther we went in the woods, the more snarls and growls were heard. I rushed closer to Luna and Nightingale along with Oak Shield. We all knew it was best to keep close. Our walk continued uninterrupted until we stopped at an old castle ruin. A small trail led up to the front gate. Luna frowned and flew to the top of the tower.

The princess was fast! I just blinked and she was gone! Nightingale was unfazed but Oak stumbled back with me.

“Will you two stop playing around?” Nightingale sighed, “Get to the castle!”

Me and Nightingale took flight while Oak galloped to the gate. We lost Luna and had to find her. Nightingale went to search the east wing. Oak decided to try the basement. I got the west wing.

On my own, the ruined castle was eerie but nice. Wonder how old this place is? Mold, cobwebs, moon spiders, this place was condemned centuries ago! What’s so important that Luna had to fly off like that? As I grew bored I heard a scream. It was a very feminine scream so I would guess it was either Nightingale or Luna. I turned the corner to find Luna.

“IT’S GONE!” she wailed, “MY PRECIOUS AMULET IS GONE!”

Soon enough, Nightingale showed up to watch Luna buck everything in the room to dust. It was by far the most amusing thing we saw tonight. Luna levitated a circular table and flipped it forcefully, sending the trinkets clattering across the floor. She kicked a dresser so hard it left an imprint in the wall! Then she took two of every painting and tore them to ribbons. And from that day forward, when two or more pieces of a picture are put together it’s called a collage! But enough about my mother’s hobby. Luna was charging her horn with intense magic. Nightingale tackled her to calm her down. Oddly enough, it worked!

“Luna! Calm down! Why are you destroying an already destroyed building?”

Luna blinked with a sigh, “I once kept ancient dark magic in this castle.”

“Dark magic?!” I yelled, “Isn’t that illegal?”

“Today, yes, but long ago we didn’t have the means to enforce such laws.” Luna replied, “I never understood Tia’s hate for dark magic. It’s exactly the same as light magic. In fact, I excelled at dark magic very well.”

I inched away from her.

“But Celestia, always thinking dark magic was all fear, hate, and anger. She only saw negatives and never positives. Down right despised anything dark.” Luna growled, “As if light does any good. Has she seen what her Sun Zealots did to those towns? Has she seen her own paladins murder families and rape children?!” Luna began to glow with blue light, “Has she seen how MY children, the children of the night, orphans and lovers of the stars, WERE TORTURED AND EXECUTED ALL BECAUSE THEY REFUSED TO WORSHIP THAT FORSAKEN BALL OF FIRE AND HOT GAS MY BITCH OF A SISTER CALLS A SUN! SHE CAUSED HARM TO OUR KINGDOM! SHE DARED TO HIDE THAT FACT? OF ALL THE UNFORGIVABLE THINGS SHE HAS DONE. I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE HER FOR THE BLOOD SHE SO WILLINGLY BATHED IN!” A pulse of pure magic burst out of her horn, vaporizing the entire room. Midnight was smart enough to push us both down the halls near the end of her rant. It should be noted that you never make Luna mad, you wouldn’t like it when she’s mad.

Oak stood at the end of the hall, shaking like a filly that saw her pet die in front of her. I figured the guy was a wimp but seeing Luna do THAT… I would probably do the same thing.

Nightingale checked on Luna. Me and Oak carefully trotted in. Luna finally calmed down. Ethereal steam coming off of her. Oak stayed far away as possible. I sat next to Nightingale to comfort our princess.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I proposed. Nightingale gave me a dirty look.

“No… thank you.” Luna gaped, It sounded like her rant took all the energy out of her. “Forgive my outburst. I have… issues with my sister.”

Nightingale glared at me as a way to say “leave it at that.” I would prefer to not anger anyone else. Luna was enough to give me nightmares tonight. We left through the front gate in silence.

Along the way back to Ponyville, Oak tripped over a stump and fell off the path. We jumped over to help him. Nightingale and Luna were ahead of me but had stopped before getting to Oak. I didn’t realize why they froze in one place until I met eyes with Oak.

The armor had be dented and fallen apart. His axe was nothing but shards. I could see his limbs sway in the air, dripping with blood. Green veins extruded from his frame. Most of all, I saw his head puss with venom. A scorpion’s tail jutting out of his mouth through the back of his skull. I followed the tail to it’s owner. With the body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and the face of some sort of monkey. I knew the creature well from a particularly popular show in Las Pegasus. Although, that beast was pure white. The manticore, king of the jungle. Those green veins proved Oak had died long before the tail impaled him. Explains why we didn’t hear him scream.

Nightingale and Luna took flight before I could blink. The manticore leaped towards me. On instinct, I pushed it away with my staff. Thankfully, the tail went back with it. Since this is a wild manticore we’ll have to avoid the tail. Manticore venom is by far the most lethal liquid you can find. It only takes seconds for anything to die from it.

Oak’s corpse flung high and impacted Luna, taking her down.

Nightingale quickly went to aid her while the manticore seethed with rage against me. The manticore leaped with ferocious intent. I glanced to my left and saw an opening. I managed to blink before the manticore landed.

The manticore looked around in confusion.

The next few minutes consisted of the manticore leaping towards me while I blinked out of the way. Eventually, Luna recovered from the impact and intently watched me blink out of the manticore’s grasp.

“I could use some help here!” I yelled.

Nightingale flung her blade into the manticore’s side. This enraged the beast even more. The manticore shifted its attention to Nightingale and Luna. The beast snarled as it prowled towards the two. Nightingale took to the air only to be followed by the manticore. A game of arial cat and mouse took play. Luna charged a spell and tried focusing on the manticore. Nightingale escaped the manticore’s line of sight by ducking into the top of the trees.

Despite manticores being capable of flight, they prefer to reside in jungles or valleys where they can have full use of their massive frame. They also strain away from the sky due to their sensitivity to electricity. Meaning they take twice the amount of damage from lighting than other creatures.

A light bulb went off in my head as I noted the sword sticking out of the manticores side.

The beast returned his attention to me. This time using its deadly tail to strike me. Instead of blinking, I turned the sweat off of my body into steam. Creating a cloud (with terrible odor). This aided in my escape. In the confusion, I latched onto the sword and held my staff out.

“Hit me!” I ordered.

Luna didn’t hesitate. A full force of magical energy surged through me. Enough to cause an intense amount of pain. My plan was to send the charge through the staff into the sword. Of course, I had to be an idiot and keep a hold on both! I can’t recall how long the charge lasted but it felt way too long. My entire body went numb. I think I was still clung to the sword and staff when the manticore plummeted into the ground.

“How are you still alive?!” Nightingale blurted out in shock.

“My magic influenced his survival. However, he will not last long if we do not seek immediate medical attention.” Luna explained.

I laughed maniacally before fainting.

I woke up in a hospital the next day.

“Ah, you’re awake, that’s good.” the doctor stated. He was a simple white unicorn with black hair. His accent was heavily Germane. He wore a simple lab coat with red gloves. I got a mad scientist vibe from him.

The room appeared to be more… regal. Must be Celestia’s personal infirmary or something.

“Right now you’re in the medical wing of the barracks,” well that answered my question on where I am as well as I assumed, “Nightingale will be here shortly. I think she’s just getting her coffee.”

I looked at the clock, 1:00. Night guards must be nocturnal. Something that was obvious.

Nightingale walked in a couple minutes later.

“Mourning, sleep well?” she giggled.

“I must’ve died and gone to Tartarus.” I joked.

“Very funny,” she frowned, “So I was just wondering… how and where you learned teleportation.”

“Never. I never learned how to teleport.”

“Then what was that stuff you were doing last night?”

“That’s called a blink. It’s pegasus magic. Unlike unicorns, we’re limited to movement to perform our magic. Specifically, a blink is where a pegasus charges his kinetic energy to move faster than the eye can see. That’s why it’s called a blink.”

“Ok, but where’d the smoke screen come from?”

I face hoofed, “Pegasi control the weather, yes?”

“Yeah?”

“What is weather?”

Nightingale gave a confused expression, “Um…”

“Air and water,” I answered for her, “Pegasi are able to manipulate air and water using magic. That’s also how we’re able to fly. We manipulate the air around us with our wings to propel us into the air.”

I assumed Nightingale knew this, since she had wings. Then again, those weren’t normal pegasus wings.

“You’re not a pegasus, are you?”

Nightingale laughed, “No, I’m a vampire.”

This time, I was the one with the confused expression.

Before I could ask what she meant, Luna walked in.

“How fairs my new assistant?”

“I got the job?” I said with excitement.

“Not yet,” Luna deadpanned, “You still have two more tests before we can finalize it.”

An elder pony walked in with a stop watch. He appeared to be annoyed.

“Princess, we must stay on schedule!”

“It’s just a small moment, Kibitz,” Luna sighed, “I apologize for Celestia’s assistance’s behavior. He’s like my sister, they both have sticks up their rears.”

All except Kibitz giggled at that.

“Enough games, Luna, we must tend to your crown fitting!”

Luna gave a friendly goodbye while being dragged out by Kibitz. The doctor came in when they left.

“I notified Luna about your condition. You’ll be out here within a week or so.”

“Cool, maybe you can show me what a pegasus mage can really do!” Nightingale suggested.

“I’m not a mage.” I corrected.

“However," the doctor interrupted, "You’re going to need plenty of rest. You took about 2000 volts and will not have an easy time recovering.”

“But I’ll get out within a week?”

“Yes, our healers are the best in all of Equestria. It’s still going to be a painful process.”

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.” Nightingale retorted.

“You underestimate what 2000 volts can do to a pony.”

“2000 volts of magic or electricity?”

“Magic.”

“Oh, that’s going to be messy. I’m out! Try not to grab anymore lighting rods… um… I never got your name.”

“Teddy, Teddy A. Bear.”

Nightingale laughed at my name, said goodbye, and left. Leaving me with the doctor.

The doctor closed the door, locked it and went to a nearby fridge.

“So… what kind of doctor are you?” I asked, trying to make a conversation.

“Oh, I’m one of the healers.” He replied.

“So you’re a doctor?”

“Well… the correct term would be… Medic.”

“What’s the difference?” I saw that he was searching for something. There was some clatter and what sounded like squishing.

“Not much, not much,” he turned around and set something on the table next to him, “Doctors tend to be one note practitioners. Always healing and nothing else. Medics, however, experiment and will not hesitate to harm as well as heal.”

The back of my mind screamed “RUN!!!” and the cold chill of fear ran down my spine. This guy referred to himself as a “medic” and gave an uneasy description of the term. I gulped as I asked my next question.

“So… What happens now?”

The doctor levitated a bone saw and a new heart while performing his evil genius laugh.

“Now?" he grinned with malicious intent, "We practice medicine.”

The following week was the most painful experience any living creature could survive.