Night Court

“I don’t know,” Nightingale told me.

I found her napping in the armory. She said she spent the entire night polishing the weapons. Ignoring the fact none of them looked clean and were obviously used recently on the dummy, now missing its head.

“Well, can we at least attend to the party?” I asked innocently.

“No, invitation only,” she quickly smirked, “but we can crash it.”

I was hesitant on doing that since I got the job yesterday. However, since Luna had essentially tried to kill me, I might get away with it.

We laughed about the idea for a while and I left to go to the library. I’m sure there’s a book on holiday origins.

Unfortunately the library was on the south side of the castle. There’s this rule about airspace travel so I have to wonder the halls for the next few hours. There wasn’t much to talk about with my flight. Guards marched up and down, maids dusted the walls, snobs wiped their muzzles on the sleeve of their fancy dress, the usual. It felt like the whole day went by when I got to the library!

It was only five in the afternoon.

“Oh, hello dear,” the librarian greeted me, “It’s going to be a busy night, are you sure you want to be here?”

“I just wanted a little information on the Grand Galloping Gala,” I smiled, “Do you know anything about it?”

She pulled out a book titled “History of the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“That works.”

I opened the book and started reading.

“Page 42.”

“What?”

“The information you want, it’s on page 42,” she sighed, “It’s always page 42.”

Sure enough, page 42 was the exact page that had the origin of the Grand Galloping Gala.

The story said; after the June solstice and the banishment of Nightmare Moon, Celestia fell into a year long depression. This depression created five national holidays. The first was the Grand Galloping Gala. Which took place on the first night of autumn. The story claimed that Celestia denied all questions about her sister’s disappearance and stated that she was “on vacation.”

Strange, why is this on the 42nd page? Authors probably spent the last forty pages glgloating about how they found this information… or they made it up.

“Eeyup, Celestia lost her sister and denied her banishment for an entire season,” the librarian stated.

“Wait, what?! Banishment?”

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head.

“Now you do,” the librarian leaned back and started snoring.

Weird lady.

I decided to leave and see if I could get anything out of Luna. Maybe get some actual grounds on what being her “assistant” means. And of course her room is on the east side of the castle! Ugh! At least it’s a shorter flight.

That is on a normal night. Tonight there was a huge crowd of ponies lined up in the main hall. Celestia was greeting them one by one. The guards played bouncers and pushed ponies into line and kicked out anyone who wasn’t on the list.

“Hey! You!”

Crap, I’m in trouble. They probably think I’m trying to sneak in.

A pegasus guard flew up to me, grabbing my leg.

“You’re suppose to make sure Luna’s ready for the night!” he whispered, “She’s been gone for over one thousand years, she’ll need help adjusting.”

I escaped his hold and blinked in front of him. Amused by his confusion. I allowed him to escort me to Luna’s room without him holding me. He flew back to the party when we met the door.

I knocked once and was shoved in via Luna’s telekinesis.

“THERE YOU ARE!” she shouted, blowing me back with the force of her voice, “WE REQUIRE YOU TO PERFORM THE DUTIES WE HAVE APPOINTED TO YEE!”

“Ok, no need for shouting,” I rubbed my ear.

“Apologies, I am quite nervous,” she examined herself in the mirror.

A silky mauve dress flowed over her. A pearl necklace hung from her mouth, matching her pearl earrings. An ebony tiara kept her mane in position. Beehive style? Her fashion sense must be dated. She turned to me as soon as she got her pearls on.

“How do we look?”

“Good.”

I didn’t know what to tell her. Mares asking that question to stallions never end well.

“Good? Not menacing, or terrifying, or intimidating?”

“Nope.”

Luna sighed with a pleased expression.

“Then we shall attend the Gala,” she eyed me up an down, “After we get you dressed.”

I gawked back, “What? What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?”

“A black vest is suitable for work not class.”

“But this is my favorite and only vest!”

“We’ll have it sent back to your room.”

I grumbled, knowing I didn’t have a choice.

Luna called a tailor in to get me suited for a tuxedo and jacket. Not what I’d normally wear but it was nice getting fancy shit for free. I’d wear it… once.

Once Luna was satisfied, we left to the party. It was around nine. The Gala would end around midnight. Anypony who was invited is either ready to leave or are enjoying themselves till the end. We ended the line.

“Hey, Teddy, nice date,” I heard Nightingale tease.

“Our assistant is with us for security reason and non other,” Luna stated formally.

“I’m teasing, Luna,” Nightingale sighed, “Besides, I would be better security than this twig.”

It’s true. I didn’t know anything about combat or safety in general. The fact I survived that manticore was pure luck. I would’ve kept blinking if I didn’t take the chance of electrocuting myself.

… What? It’s a nice feeling!

“We do not doubt your abilities,” Luna waved her hoof, “Teddy requires more training but he still holds great power.”

“And with great power comes…”

“Don’t you dare finish that reference!” Nightingale growled.

Yeesh, ok, fine. No Spider-Steed reference.

“Luna!” Celestia chimmed.

“Tia!”

The two sisters hugged with a giggle.

“I expected you to wear much darker cloths.”

“We had an assistant to help,” Luna waved a hoof to me.

“Ah, this must be Teddy A Bear, pleasure to meet you,” she offered her hoof.

I shook it, not sure what to say.

“Greetings, My name’s Twilight Sparkle,” a lavender unicorn, possibly a little younger than me, spoke up.

I shook her hoof, “Heya, there a reason you’re next to Celestia and not having fun?”

Twilight flinched.

“It is a party, right?”

That was when the castle shook.

“Looks like we’re missing the fun,” I said as Celestia and Twilight ran off.

Luna slowly followed behind. I followed Luna, matching her speed. Nightingale followed me.

There was an echo of a deranged mare shouting “Love me” or something similar to that. I was a mere few seconds before a large group stampeded past us. They looked like a mess. I heard animal sounds screeching from the ball room. This is going to be one of those nights.

We walked in the room to see Celestia trying to gather the guards while calming the guests. Animals scurried across the room. Ponies panicked like little fillies seeing a monster. Guards were pretty much useless.

“Enough!” a unicorn shouted.

Said unicorn levitated the animals and threw them to the wall.

“Woah! Dude! What the fuck?” I yelled at him.

“How dare you use such profanity, barbarian!”

I rolled my eyes at the silly insult.

“It’s animal cruelty,” I explained slowly, “hurting animals for the sake of harming them makes you no better than Discord.”

Several unicorns gasped.

“Y- You… You Flapper!”

The entire room fell silent.

Luna’s and Celestia’s jaws hung wide open. Every pegasus there came to my side.

“The fuck you say Horny?” The leader of the Wonderbolts growled.

The unicorns gawked at that.

“I called the beast what he is,” the unicorn stated proudly, “A mindless, illogical, Fla-“

The Wonderbolt’s hoof made contact with the unicorn’s face so fast smoke emitted from his muzzle.

“Everypony, please stay calm,” Celestia attempted to plea.

I looked to Luna. She held a glare at the unicorn. She gave me a nod. Nightingale grinned and cracked her shoulders. Time to get the party started.

“Screw calm, let’s fight!”

A ball room brawl erupted within seconds of me declaring it. Celestia hid away with an escort of guards, the animals fled as soon as they could, and Luna joined the brawl not caring that her dress had torn. Nightingale went easy on them. She had to make sure her victims still lived when she got a hold of them. I did the smart thing and hid behind her.

“This is awesome!” Nightingale cheered, “Last year’s gala was duller than a rusty hammer.”

“Glade you’re enjoying it, that unicorn deserved getting the shit kicked out of him.”

“Yeah, Blueblood’s a bastard.”

A blast of blue energy knocked Nightingale off the current pony she was beating. The source of the blast came from the unicorn that started this brawl, Blueblood.

“Vermin; If I had my way, you’d all be exterminated!” he leered towards me, “As for the flapper, fitting that you would coward before a real pony.”

Blueblood was levitated by a violet aura. In a flash he was slammed to the floor hard enough to leave a crater.

“Shame there are none around,” Black Light showed up with several friendly unicorns, “Not all of Canterlot agree with pretty boy.”

Blueblood grunted.

By now the band joined the battle. They apparently kept guns in the cases of their instruments.

“What the bloody fuck?!” I shouted under the gunfire.

“Natives of Canterlot,” Black Light stated, “Specifically, the first tire natives.”

I wasn’t sure what the first tire was like but if it was like Las Pegasus, the guns were a safety precaution. Who knows what monsters there were here?

“Gah!” one of the bullets hit me in the knee. Rubber bullets? Huh, must be security guns. Explains why they were allowed in.

Still, I would rather not get hit again. Black Light, thankfully, put a shield around us.

“The band seems to be enjoying their spotlight,” Black Light chuckled, “It has been ages since I joined a battle. What do you think, Fleur?”

A slender white unicorn mare giggled, “I would love to see how well trained the guards are now that I’m not training them.”

Her husband, I think, nodded and charged through an opening in the shield with a crowd of displeased unicorns.

“I’m surprised you’re not partaking in the brawl,” Black Light stated.

“I… can’t fight.”

“You survived the first test and you can’t fight?”

“I passed on pure luck. Did you forget I spent a week in the medical wing?”

Black Light sighed, “Nightingale told me you handled the staff well.”

“Yeah, I had basic staff lessons when I was in Las Pegasus but I’m no good in an actual fight.”

“Well… better hope you still have good luck,” Black Light swiftly darted off, leaving me open to attack.

Blueblood found the energy to get out of his crater and snarl at me.

I vaguely noticed Nightingale and Luna running away from… Celestia with a banana cream cannon? Why do I feel that’s not going to be the strangest thing I’m going to UMPH!

“I paid a heavy fortune for this tuxedo and now it’s ruined!” Blueblood roared.

I got up and spat in his face. Not the smartest thing to do but it was worth it to see the look on his face. Blueblood readied a forceful kick. The dimwit didn’t even think about my blink. I easily evaded all of his kicks.

I took a quick glance at Celestia. She returned to the party with a cannon, latex, and a few personal guards. Judging by her excessive laughter, I’d say she was having the best night ever. Luna and Nightingale were joyfully giggling as they ran from Celestia. Guards pacified most of the guest. The Wonderbolts left, I suspect to avoid a dishonorable discharge. Black Light and his unicorn gang held against the guards a little too well. The slender mare, Fleur I think, had a disappointed look as she shoved one of the guard’s face in the fondu fountain. Then a random earth pony with a cello landed on me.

“Uh, sorry about that,” she lifted the cello which turned out to double as a tommy gun, “If you’ll excuse me I have-“

“BEGONE PEASANT!”

“ -to teach a spoiled prince some manners,” the mare angrily sacked Blueblood with her cello. In a few seconds it changed into a tommy gun and she fired at him. Even though those were rubber bullets, it looked like one of the most painful things to go through.

“Nice,” I complemented the mare, “Remind me to recommend your band.”

Sadly, Blueblood had a bubble shield and wasn’t fazed by the bullets. His horn lit up with dark energy and blasted the mare. Apparently Celestia’s law against dark magic didn’t stick with Blueblood. The mare seemed ok, unconscious but ok. It was my turn to get pelted with dark magic.

I expected to fall over and be knocked out like that mare. Instead I felt… great. There was an enormous amount of energy flowing through me. It rejuvenated me, healed any wound I had, and gave me the feeling of being able to take on the entire royal guard. Note: actually doing that would be suicidal. The overall surge I felt could only be described in one word.

“Oh yeah…”

Blueblood’s jaw dropped. The room fell silent. Luna and Celestia, covered in banana cream, had worried looks. Everything froze for a brief moment.

I jerked my head to Blueblood. He flinched and started running away with his tail between his legs. I blinked through him. Unlike my usual blinks, this blink felt… like a phase shift I read unicorns were able to do. I felt myself go through Blueblood. He must’ve felt the same thing because he shivered with electrical sparks flicking off him. Once he fell I noticed a scorched trail marked the path of my blink. Luna has some explaining to do.

The night ended with the chandelier crashing through the floor, revealing a chasm of gemstones.