Night Court

by TeddyBear

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure
Length: 13952

Events from the life of an everyday servant of Princess Luna

After 1000 years princess Luna has returned! Many things have changed over the centuries. There are now ponies out at night, streets illuminate with joyful parades of contained lightning, and Luna couldn't be happier. However, old dangers still stir in the shadows. Monsters stalk ponies and nightmares plague the dreamscape. Luna will be in need of an assistant if she hopes to have a day of rest. Celestia has made several suggestions but Luna is picky. None has ever passed Luna's tests…

Until tonight.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-06 06:16:35 UTC

The Arrival

Tonight is the interview of my new job! It is a little strange that the interview had to take place at night but I'm not complaining. I usually preferred to stay up late and sleep until the afternoon. From what I heard, this job is going to mainly be at night. I can have the schedule I've always wanted! Just hope I make it through the interview.

The train stops. I hop off with my bags.

I lost a lot in Las Pegasus (not to be confused with Los Pegasus) and only had the vest I had from my last job, my glasses, and what little was in my saddle bags. I looked up to see Canterlot Castle. I can't believe I managed to get an offer to work there. My luck had been sour until I found that ad in Equestria Daily. The job didn't have many specifics. They mainly wanted somepony who had experience cleaning and serving. Maybe they were low on maids and butlers or something. The job wasn't one you'd want, but it was better than nothing.

I get off the ground and fly to the castle. Canterlot has some harsh restrictions on flying. I could only fly up to the mid-tier, aka the market district. Businesses must've made a deal with the politicians to help get them more customers. I walk pass the shops, ignoring the sellers persistent pandering, and make my way to the upper-tier.

Canterlot had four tiers due to their structure. Being built into a mountain, social separation was strong. The first tier was where the industrial workers were. Blacksmiths, miners, small factories, pubs, and the train station were located here. Some say there were less savory ponies such as prostitutes and thieves. Both of which I've had unpleasant experience with. The next tier was the market district. Pretty self explanatory. Third tier was where the "Canterlot Snobs" lived. Most were unicorn supremacists such as "Prince" Blueblood. However there were more friendly folk who represented their tier better. The last tier was Canterlot Castle.

Before me laid the gates to the castle. Two white guards stood there with attentive eyes.

"State your business or move along." the eggshell colored stallion ordered.

I pull a paper out of my saddle bag, "I'm her for an interview." I muffled.

The guard scans the paper and nods, "Going to try for THAT position. I be sure to remember your face when you come back down. OPEN THE GATES!"

I put the paper back into my bag. The gates open as I walk through them. It's no wonder the castle required an entire tier. Every amount of space is taken up by something! There's a large labyrinth to the right along with some statues. To the left is what looks like an academy of some sorts. A sign that read "Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns" shines in the front of it. I continue my trek to the main building. The castle itself is the most massive structure I have ever seen. Guards in purplish armor wonder the grounds. I stop at a giant door with two grayish guards in front of it.

"You must be the new victim. OPEN THE GATES!" the unicorn said.

"You're not going to check me?" I ask.

"The guards at the main gate notified us. We'll get an escort ready for you when you're ready to leave the premise." he states.

I'm getting the impression way too many ponies have tried for the position I'm aiming for. I feel nervous. My knees shake as I walk into a large empty room. An eerie wind blows through. A unicorn maid levitating a candle holder trots out of the shadow. She was a soft green with yellow hair. She gave me a warm smile.

"Good evening, I shall escort you to Princess Luna's room." she said in a soft tone.

I had never head of Princess Luna. I thought Celestia was the only one living in this castle. As we wandered the halls, I thought it was best to break the silence.

"So… Who's Princess Luna?" I innocently ask.

The maid gives me a strange look, "She's the princess of the night. Saved by the Elements of Harmony. Celestia's sister and the one who's going to decide whether or not you get the job."

"How long has this been? I was taught Celestia was a sole princess. Looks like we're going to have to change the school system." I remark snarly.

"The news has been out for over a week. How could you not know by now?" the maid retorts.

We remained quiet for the rest of the walk. I was sort of embarrassed to say anything else. We eventually made it to a door with the words "Princess Luna" on it. The maid opened the door. I walked in and found a dark blue alicorn sitting near a fire place. She was reading a few papers. I recognize the resume I had sent to Kibitz, the one I thought I'd be having the interview with. The alicorn glances over to me.

"You may take a seat." she said, waving her hoof next to some pillows.

I walked to the pillows and sat comfortably across from the regal pony. Her mane and tail sparkled with starlight and flowed like water. Ebony jewelry laid upon her with tints of silver. The crescent moon on her necklace matched the ones on her flanks. I noticed her wings were relaxed over her side and her horn glowed with a slight blue that held stars similar to her mane and tail. She laid the papers down and turned her attention to me.

"I am Princess Luna." the alicorn stated.

I give a slight nod. There was an awkward silence as the fire crackled. Luna levitated several papers and moved them in a reading position.

"You are Mr. Teddy A. Bear of Los Pegasus, yes?" Luna asks.

"Las Pegasus." I correct her.

Luna grabs a quill with her magic and writes on the paper, "Ah, minor mistake. I've heard plenty of Las Pegasus. Tis true that the ponies are active at night and sleep in the day?"

"Depends; many are awake during the day but most sleep far into the afternoon, Myself included. Personally I prefer to sleep in and stay up all night. All the interesting stuff happens at night. Plus the night sky is just beautiful. The day has this bland blue sheet while the night sky has billions of stars that sparkle like diamonds." I tell Luna.

The princess smiles with a gleam in her eye.

"Never, have I heard such praise for my night! Even my own sister hasn't said such things." Luna levitated the quill over a piece of paper and scribbled something down with excitement.

“Really? Practically the entire nation has night life booming on every corner.” I stuttered with a little shock. It’s like she’s been living on the moon for the past thousand years.

Luna dropped her quill and papers.

“These are strange times,” she stared at me for a few seconds, “Are you telling me that numerous ponies come out, at night, and go about their business as though it were the day?”

I quirked my eyebrow at her and nodded.

“SPLENDID! WE SHALL GREET THE NIGHTLY FOLK AND CELEBRATE THE NIGHT WITH PASTRIES AND MEAD!” Luna echoed loud enough to push me off my seat, over the balcony.

If I wasn’t a pegasus, I would be dead.

Luna blushes and giggles as she sees me hovering over the ledge. I scowled at her. I may need this job but I’m in no way going to let myself be pushed around this easily.

Luna clears her throat, “Thank you, Teddy A. Bear, your interview went rather well.”

That’s it? Am I hired or not? That interview was way too short for me to tell.

“However,” oh here we go, “We require you to pass a few tests before you can be my personal assistant.”

Tests? Really? In other words, work without pay?

“Alright, what’s first?”

This is going to be a long night.

Week 1: First Night, Test 1

The Princess and I wondered the halls. We had been walking for quite some time. Luna occasionally mumbled to herself. I couldn’t hear what she said but I think it was similar to “this place changes every night.”

Luna stopped before a golden door, “This is my sister’s room,” she said with a sinister smile, “Would you help me wish her a good night.”

I didn’t know what she was thinking but went along with it. We entered Celestia’s room. The princess laid on her bed in peaceful slumber. Luna creepily crawled to her sibling. I gently hovered behind Luna.

Celestia looked as though she was knocked out. She was breathing but not moving. The fact that there were no guards anywhere near her made me believe an assassin could merrily burst through the front door, shove a pie in Celestia’s face, and walk out without any conflict. In fact, that’s most likely what me and Luna are doing.

Luna’s wicked grin grew. Whatever diabolical plot she had in mind, she was about to reveal it.

The princess took a deep breath and shouted “Good Night, Tia,” as loudly as she could. Surprisingly, Celestia wasn’t pushed back by the force of her voice. Instead, she jumped into the ceiling. I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter as the maiden of the sun crashed down, on her bed, wearing a chunk of the ceiling as a necklace. Celestia glared at me then to Luna.

“Your new assistant should know; if he does anything similar to what you just did, I’ll have him banished to the Badlands,” Celestia growled.

I immediately stopped laughing.

Luna rolled her eyes, “Tis just a harmless prank, sister, my assistant will only be responsible for giving me access to your room.”

Celestia huffed and slammed her head on a pile of pillows, “We both know you don’t need assistance with that.”

Luna chuckled as Celestia moaned.

“Very well, we shall head off to our nightly duties. Until tomorrow, Tia.”

“Good night, Lulu.”

Me and Luna left the room as swiftly as we entered it. The door gently shut. Luna still giggled over her prank. We headed off to the next destination.

“You seem to have a good relation to your sister. Why haven’t we heard much of you?”

Luna stopped, “We… weren’t always this close.” She ominously stated.

I suppose I’m not going to get anything else out of her. Maybe Celestia will fill me in?

We continued to wonder the halls, this time I was aware of our destination. Luna wanted a midnight snake before my “test” so we were going to take a visit to the kitchen. Good thing there are maps every couple staircases. I don’t think we’d ever be able to find the kitchen without them. They must have a master organizer working here because each area is color coded. The kitchen was in the “Blue” area of the map which was just a few steps away from our current location in the “Purple” area. I guess purple was the royal bedrooms and the princesses didn’t want to be far from their cake. I might get smacked for that statement. Glade the princesses don’t read minds.

Luna opens the door to the dinning room. I see the kitchen on the other side of the incredibly long room. It’s as though-

“GET THE BLOODY FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING KITCHEN, YOU BLOODY MONKEY!” a voice booms from the other side.

One of the chefs was running as fast as he could, away from a clever that appeared to be enchanted (or cursed) to follow him. Said chef ran right between me and Luna. I gave him an undignified look only to turn to see the enchanted (cursed) clever aiming for the soft spot between my eyes.

I closed my eyes and flinch as I worried about getting an unwanted headache with accessory. Thankfully, Luna put up a small shield and saved me. Not sure but I think I saw a disappointed look on her.

“Oh Chef!” Luna sang ironically softly to the other side of the room. How is it even possible to do that while shouting?

I couldn’t tell what it was but I saw movement on the other side. An aura of intense rage filled the air. Brimstone filled my nostrils as a unicorn, seething in anger, slowly waltzed to us. His eyes glowed like fire, a strong scowl plastered his face, and every step he took created tremors that shook the entire castle. His presence brought fear. I was terrified to move as he stood right in front of me and Luna, mere meters from us! He looked at me, then to Luna, back to me, and Luna again.

“Good evening, Luna. Here for a midnight snack?” the frightening stallion spoke with a calm voice.

“Yes, Chef, I would like the usual.” Luna politely stated.

Chef immediately glared at me. Or I think he did, hard to tell with the voice he’s using.

“Um… I would like an onion, if that’s ok…” I awkwardly say.

Chef vanished in a flash of light. An onion strikes me hard. Luna giggles and trots to the still farthest side of the room. I munched on my onion peacefully. If I’m going to be working here, I better become friends with the Chef or risk being pelted by produce.

Or worse things may happen to me.

When me and Luna finally made it to the other side, a plate with a small cake laid waiting for Luna. Chef stood next to it with a smile. Luna ate the cake, wiped her muzzle, and gave the empty plate back to Chef. Chef glared at me once more. I hope I didn’t do something that pissed him off. I don’t want to be on the wrong end of a stray knife!

Leaving the dinning area, we gaze upon the map. Luna examined the map with a hoof. She waved her hoof over the “You are here” dot to the red area.

“They moved the armory to the farthest side of the castle in my absence,” Luna sighs, “I do wish it were closer.”

Armory? What in tartarus does this test involve?!

Regardless, I followed her to the other side of the castle. Good thing was getting to see the entire castle. Bad thing was the dull walking. I agree with Luna, the armory should be closer to the dinning area. What if a battle started while we were eating?

Eventually, we made it to the armory where a couple strange ponies were waiting. One was a stallion with bat wings. The other was a mare with obsidian armor and bat wings. She was laughing hysterically at the weapon the stallion held.

A bronze warhammer.

Out of the corner of me eye, I saw Luna shake her head.

“Oak Shield, we have told you to use weapons suitable for your built,” Luna frowned disapprovingly, “If you wish to keep that heavy thing your foes will enjoy feasting upon your entrails.”

That was… grim… She sounded angry.

Oak Shield dropped the hammer and ran to the back. The mare huffed and stared right into my eyes.

“New meat for the manticores?” She asked.

Luna’s glare could be felt miles away. I felt that, if we were outside, storm clouds would gather and expel lighting to give off a dramatic display of her rage.

“We hath told ye to cease your taunts! Yest your taunts become your end.” Luna’s voice pushed the mare backwards. Only enough to break a box or two. No damage was done to the armor.

“Sorry,” she mound sarcastically, “Names Nightingale, Nightingale Wind. I’ll be on patrol duty with you, Luna, and Oak.”

A loud bang and wail followed the last name.

“Idiot almost died last night,” Nightingale chuckled, “Twelve bits says he loses a hoof this night.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle with Nightingale. Luna’s gaze ended our small fit.

I swear, those eyes could end a predator’s diet.

“I shall fetch my armor,” Luna trotted to the back, “Nightingale, ensure my new assistant to be is prepared for his first test.”

As Luna walked away, Nightingale glanced over to me. I assumed she was measuring me up. I accurately predicted the next words she said.

“Hope you last longer that the last one. We could only find half of his face in-between the teeth of a hydra.”

Well… I could’ve accurately predicted it…

Nightingale escorted me to a round room that had several mannequins encircling the walls. Only four mannequins were in the room. Starting from the one closest to me going clockwise, I saw; A glorious set of Equestrian Bronze armor (favored by Celestia and her day guard), a subtle set of Mithril armor, a moderate set of Obsidian armor (similar to the set Midnight wore), and a pitch black set of Ebony armor. I noticed that the armor sets were patterned to be heavy, light, light, heavy.

Nightingale turned to get my attention.

“Want my advise? I’d go for obsidian. Bronze is too weak, mithril is too shiny, and ebony is too heavy. Obsidian is perfect for a pegasus.”

I took her advice and grabbed the obsidian armor.

“You’re not as dumb as you look,” Nightingale chuckled, “Ok, now for a weapon.”

I followed her to the next room. It looked like a basic training room.

I observed the weapons that laid on the long rack. Nightingale eagerly plucked a short sword and started practicing on one of the dummies.

I noticed a staff with rounded silver ends. I have some training with the staff in my old martial arts lessons. I grabbed the staff and twirled around with it. Some things just come back to you.

“Nice!” Nightingale whistled, “Didn’t think you’d know how to use any of those. Then again, how hard is it to play with a stick?”

Nightingale’s laughter is starting to get annoying. Thankfully her raucous ended quickly. If only Luna’s presence wasn’t intimidating.

“A staff… Well, hopefully we won’t run into too much danger,” Luna sighed, “Come, we have a full night to ensure the roads and towns are safe.”

I didn’t wish to argue with anything and went with them. We were just set up in a small carriage flown by a couple night guards. Nightingale joyfully cuddled with her blade. To be honest, the mare was the creepiest thing I have ever been around. Oak, on the other hoof, was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever been around. He was wearing bronze armor with red strips painted on the sides! Did he think he was a hotrod? His weapon of choice was an axe. At least it wasn’t a giant battleaxe. That would’ve taken up the entire carriage. I still wonder what material that green stuff is. Luna, of course, was the most stunning image to see. She wore silver lined ebony armor. The helmet shaped into a crown that wrapped around her horn. Her most elegant weapon was a customized sword that had a crescent moon hilt. I almost felt silly being the only one with a non-edged weapon.

The carriage landed and we got out in unique ways. Nightingale flamboyantly somersaulted out and landed with the sword in her mouth. Impractical, but looked cool. Luna flared her wings while swinging her blade back and forth. Intimidating yet elegant. Oak tripped over the side and cut himself trying to get a good grip on his axe. I just walked off behind Luna.

We were just outside Canterlot. No eminent dangers, just city guards trying to stay awake. Luna and Nightingale walked down the road. Oak clumsily got up and rushed towards them. I simply followed far behind.

Thankfully the first town was merely a few hundred miles away. We only saw some peaceful nocturnal animals such as raccoons and ferret hounds. Cute little bests, ferret hounds, size of a lap dog but able to eat through stone once their teeth developed. Oak Shield jumped at them. Thinking they were threats. Only threat he had to deal with was his loins being bitten off.

Hahaha! Those things defiantly knew where to attack their foes!

The town was named Ponyville. As far as I could tell, absolutely zero night life in this town. It was dull! What interest happens here? Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. After smacking Oak upside the head, we went to a far more interesting place. I think Luna referred to it as the Everfree forest. Nightingale was overjoyed about going in there.

If I were to describe the forest; dark, eerie, and dangerous would be the words I’d use.

The section closest to town was no problem. The beasts seem to stay away from the townsfolk. I suppose that’s a good thing. Nightingale was visibly anxious but in a way that made her look ready to kill the first thing she sees. The back of my mind tells me to keep my guard up, so I did. The farther we went in the woods, the more snarls and growls were heard. I rushed closer to Luna and Nightingale along with Oak Shield. We all knew it was best to keep close. Our walk continued uninterrupted until we stopped at an old castle ruin. A small trail led up to the front gate. Luna frowned and flew to the top of the tower.

The princess was fast! I just blinked and she was gone! Nightingale was unfazed but Oak stumbled back with me.

“Will you two stop playing around?” Nightingale sighed, “Get to the castle!”

Me and Nightingale took flight while Oak galloped to the gate. We lost Luna and had to find her. Nightingale went to search the east wing. Oak decided to try the basement. I got the west wing.

On my own, the ruined castle was eerie but nice. Wonder how old this place is? Mold, cobwebs, moon spiders, this place was condemned centuries ago! What’s so important that Luna had to fly off like that? As I grew bored I heard a scream. It was a very feminine scream so I would guess it was either Nightingale or Luna. I turned the corner to find Luna.

“IT’S GONE!” she wailed, “MY PRECIOUS AMULET IS GONE!”

Soon enough, Nightingale showed up to watch Luna buck everything in the room to dust. It was by far the most amusing thing we saw tonight. Luna levitated a circular table and flipped it forcefully, sending the trinkets clattering across the floor. She kicked a dresser so hard it left an imprint in the wall! Then she took two of every painting and tore them to ribbons. And from that day forward, when two or more pieces of a picture are put together it’s called a collage! But enough about my mother’s hobby. Luna was charging her horn with intense magic. Nightingale tackled her to calm her down. Oddly enough, it worked!

“Luna! Calm down! Why are you destroying an already destroyed building?”

Luna blinked with a sigh, “I once kept ancient dark magic in this castle.”

“Dark magic?!” I yelled, “Isn’t that illegal?”

“Today, yes, but long ago we didn’t have the means to enforce such laws.” Luna replied, “I never understood Tia’s hate for dark magic. It’s exactly the same as light magic. In fact, I excelled at dark magic very well.”

I inched away from her.

“But Celestia, always thinking dark magic was all fear, hate, and anger. She only saw negatives and never positives. Down right despised anything dark.” Luna growled, “As if light does any good. Has she seen what her Sun Zealots did to those towns? Has she seen her own paladins murder families and rape children?!” Luna began to glow with blue light, “Has she seen how MY children, the children of the night, orphans and lovers of the stars, WERE TORTURED AND EXECUTED ALL BECAUSE THEY REFUSED TO WORSHIP THAT FORSAKEN BALL OF FIRE AND HOT GAS MY BITCH OF A SISTER CALLS A SUN! SHE CAUSED HARM TO OUR KINGDOM! SHE DARED TO HIDE THAT FACT? OF ALL THE UNFORGIVABLE THINGS SHE HAS DONE. I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE HER FOR THE BLOOD SHE SO WILLINGLY BATHED IN!” A pulse of pure magic burst out of her horn, vaporizing the entire room. Midnight was smart enough to push us both down the halls near the end of her rant. It should be noted that you never make Luna mad, you wouldn’t like it when she’s mad.

Oak stood at the end of the hall, shaking like a filly that saw her pet die in front of her. I figured the guy was a wimp but seeing Luna do THAT… I would probably do the same thing.

Nightingale checked on Luna. Me and Oak carefully trotted in. Luna finally calmed down. Ethereal steam coming off of her. Oak stayed far away as possible. I sat next to Nightingale to comfort our princess.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I proposed. Nightingale gave me a dirty look.

“No… thank you.” Luna gaped, It sounded like her rant took all the energy out of her. “Forgive my outburst. I have… issues with my sister.”

Nightingale glared at me as a way to say “leave it at that.” I would prefer to not anger anyone else. Luna was enough to give me nightmares tonight. We left through the front gate in silence.

Along the way back to Ponyville, Oak tripped over a stump and fell off the path. We jumped over to help him. Nightingale and Luna were ahead of me but had stopped before getting to Oak. I didn’t realize why they froze in one place until I met eyes with Oak.

The armor had be dented and fallen apart. His axe was nothing but shards. I could see his limbs sway in the air, dripping with blood. Green veins extruded from his frame. Most of all, I saw his head puss with venom. A scorpion’s tail jutting out of his mouth through the back of his skull. I followed the tail to it’s owner. With the body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and the face of some sort of monkey. I knew the creature well from a particularly popular show in Las Pegasus. Although, that beast was pure white. The manticore, king of the jungle. Those green veins proved Oak had died long before the tail impaled him. Explains why we didn’t hear him scream.

Nightingale and Luna took flight before I could blink. The manticore leaped towards me. On instinct, I pushed it away with my staff. Thankfully, the tail went back with it. Since this is a wild manticore we’ll have to avoid the tail. Manticore venom is by far the most lethal liquid you can find. It only takes seconds for anything to die from it.

Oak’s corpse flung high and impacted Luna, taking her down.

Nightingale quickly went to aid her while the manticore seethed with rage against me. The manticore leaped with ferocious intent. I glanced to my left and saw an opening. I managed to blink before the manticore landed.

The manticore looked around in confusion.

The next few minutes consisted of the manticore leaping towards me while I blinked out of the way. Eventually, Luna recovered from the impact and intently watched me blink out of the manticore’s grasp.

“I could use some help here!” I yelled.

Nightingale flung her blade into the manticore’s side. This enraged the beast even more. The manticore shifted its attention to Nightingale and Luna. The beast snarled as it prowled towards the two. Nightingale took to the air only to be followed by the manticore. A game of arial cat and mouse took play. Luna charged a spell and tried focusing on the manticore. Nightingale escaped the manticore’s line of sight by ducking into the top of the trees.

Despite manticores being capable of flight, they prefer to reside in jungles or valleys where they can have full use of their massive frame. They also strain away from the sky due to their sensitivity to electricity. Meaning they take twice the amount of damage from lighting than other creatures.

A light bulb went off in my head as I noted the sword sticking out of the manticores side.

The beast returned his attention to me. This time using its deadly tail to strike me. Instead of blinking, I turned the sweat off of my body into steam. Creating a cloud (with terrible odor). This aided in my escape. In the confusion, I latched onto the sword and held my staff out.

“Hit me!” I ordered.

Luna didn’t hesitate. A full force of magical energy surged through me. Enough to cause an intense amount of pain. My plan was to send the charge through the staff into the sword. Of course, I had to be an idiot and keep a hold on both! I can’t recall how long the charge lasted but it felt way too long. My entire body went numb. I think I was still clung to the sword and staff when the manticore plummeted into the ground.

“How are you still alive?!” Nightingale blurted out in shock.

“My magic influenced his survival. However, he will not last long if we do not seek immediate medical attention.” Luna explained.

I laughed maniacally before fainting.

I woke up in a hospital the next day.

“Ah, you’re awake, that’s good.” the doctor stated. He was a simple white unicorn with black hair. His accent was heavily Germane. He wore a simple lab coat with red gloves. I got a mad scientist vibe from him.

The room appeared to be more… regal. Must be Celestia’s personal infirmary or something.

“Right now you’re in the medical wing of the barracks,” well that answered my question on where I am as well as I assumed, “Nightingale will be here shortly. I think she’s just getting her coffee.”

I looked at the clock, 1:00. Night guards must be nocturnal. Something that was obvious.

Nightingale walked in a couple minutes later.

“Mourning, sleep well?” she giggled.

“I must’ve died and gone to Tartarus.” I joked.

“Very funny,” she frowned, “So I was just wondering… how and where you learned teleportation.”

“Never. I never learned how to teleport.”

“Then what was that stuff you were doing last night?”

“That’s called a blink. It’s pegasus magic. Unlike unicorns, we’re limited to movement to perform our magic. Specifically, a blink is where a pegasus charges his kinetic energy to move faster than the eye can see. That’s why it’s called a blink.”

“Ok, but where’d the smoke screen come from?”

I face hoofed, “Pegasi control the weather, yes?”

“Yeah?”

“What is weather?”

Nightingale gave a confused expression, “Um…”

“Air and water,” I answered for her, “Pegasi are able to manipulate air and water using magic. That’s also how we’re able to fly. We manipulate the air around us with our wings to propel us into the air.”

I assumed Nightingale knew this, since she had wings. Then again, those weren’t normal pegasus wings.

“You’re not a pegasus, are you?”

Nightingale laughed, “No, I’m a vampire.”

This time, I was the one with the confused expression.

Before I could ask what she meant, Luna walked in.

“How fairs my new assistant?”

“I got the job?” I said with excitement.

“Not yet,” Luna deadpanned, “You still have two more tests before we can finalize it.”

An elder pony walked in with a stop watch. He appeared to be annoyed.

“Princess, we must stay on schedule!”

“It’s just a small moment, Kibitz,” Luna sighed, “I apologize for Celestia’s assistance’s behavior. He’s like my sister, they both have sticks up their rears.”

All except Kibitz giggled at that.

“Enough games, Luna, we must tend to your crown fitting!”

Luna gave a friendly goodbye while being dragged out by Kibitz. The doctor came in when they left.

“I notified Luna about your condition. You’ll be out here within a week or so.”

“Cool, maybe you can show me what a pegasus mage can really do!” Nightingale suggested.

“I’m not a mage.” I corrected.

“However," the doctor interrupted, "You’re going to need plenty of rest. You took about 2000 volts and will not have an easy time recovering.”

“But I’ll get out within a week?”

“Yes, our healers are the best in all of Equestria. It’s still going to be a painful process.”

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.” Nightingale retorted.

“You underestimate what 2000 volts can do to a pony.”

“2000 volts of magic or electricity?”

“Magic.”

“Oh, that’s going to be messy. I’m out! Try not to grab anymore lighting rods… um… I never got your name.”

“Teddy, Teddy A. Bear.”

Nightingale laughed at my name, said goodbye, and left. Leaving me with the doctor.

The doctor closed the door, locked it and went to a nearby fridge.

“So… what kind of doctor are you?” I asked, trying to make a conversation.

“Oh, I’m one of the healers.” He replied.

“So you’re a doctor?”

“Well… the correct term would be… Medic.”

“What’s the difference?” I saw that he was searching for something. There was some clatter and what sounded like squishing.

“Not much, not much,” he turned around and set something on the table next to him, “Doctors tend to be one note practitioners. Always healing and nothing else. Medics, however, experiment and will not hesitate to harm as well as heal.”

The back of my mind screamed “RUN!!!” and the cold chill of fear ran down my spine. This guy referred to himself as a “medic” and gave an uneasy description of the term. I gulped as I asked my next question.

“So… What happens now?”

The doctor levitated a bone saw and a new heart while performing his evil genius laugh.

“Now?" he grinned with malicious intent, "We practice medicine.”

The following week was the most painful experience any living creature could survive.

Week 2: Eighth Night, Test 2

The following week, I left that torture chamber.

It was two in the afternoon and I needed to get something to eat. So I ran to find the dinning area… Which was the second most difficult thing I had to do. The first was ordering something from the chef.

The medical wing was close to the barracks. That meant I had to walk to the other side of the castle. Not sure if there’s a rule about flying in the castle but fuck it, I got to eat!

I lifted off and started zooming down the halls. None of the staff even noticed, not even the day guards. I can become invisible to nearly anyone when I want to be.

“Ooomph!”

Unless I hit someone.

“What the heck?! Watch where you’re going!” Nightingale grunted.

“Sorry, I’m heading to the dinning hall to grab something to eat. Bye!” I darted past her.

“Oooh, epic quest,” Nightingale snidely stated as she kept up with me, “Try not to wet yourself when you meet the chef.”

“We crossed paths last week.”

“Seriously? Wow, you’re tougher than I thought.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” I felt downright insulted.

“Incase you haven’t noticed,” Nightingale pointed to my side, “You’re the smallest pegasus in the castle.”

I huffed, “I may be small but I have some sweet advantages because of it.”

“Like what?”

“Like being the fastest thing in the castle!” I shouted as I zipped my way down the hall.

I made it to the dinning room and up to the kitchen window. The chef was there with an intimidating scowl. Despite my irrational fear of him, I walked up to put my order in.

“What would you like?” he asked.

“I- I’ll have a burger.” I stuttered.

The chef grinned and pointed at me, “We’re going to get along quite well,” he then trotted back to the kitchen.

I decided to take a seat near the window to wait for my meal. The chef might be friendly now but I would love to be prepared for when a stray knife is thrown through the window. Just keep an eye out on it and I’ll be fine.

“Hey, Teddy.” Nightingale shouted. I assume she was trying to scare me.

“Hey.”

“Really? Not even a little jump?”

“I did jump. You just couldn’t see it.”

“You’re not that fast.” Nightingale frowned.

“Speed doesn’t have anything to do with it,” I chuckled, “Most ponies never notice me.”

“That’s sad.”

“It’s safe.”

“Like watching for the chef to throw a knife at you?”

I kept my eyes on the window throughout the conversation. There is no way I am ever going back to that “doctor.”

“I know he’s scary but he’s not going to kill you.”

“If he doesn’t, that doctor might.”

“Oh,” she realized, “What he do to you?”

“He gave me an unwanted heart transplant,” I explained, “Called it his ‘über charge’ project. Not only that but he want to ‘test’ his project and started pumping magic into me.”

“That lasted the entire week?”

“He had plenty of hearts,” I sighed.

“Ouch, so what were the results?”

“Apparently my S.P.E.C.I.A.L. chart got a huge boost in the luck category… and his ‘über charge’ is a success.”

“Ah, Luna must’ve given you that boost so you could live through that blast,” Nightingale nodded, “Some have called her ‘lady luck’ you know.”

“I thought she was the princess of the night?”

“You’re from Las Pegasus, aren’t you?,” she scowled at me, “What do they do over there?”

The chef came by and delivered my burger with a smile. The burger looked lovely and smelled sweet. Cheese tasted fresh, must’ve been made in the kitchen. Arugula? Awesome! Not much of a fan on tomatoes but I’m eating it so the chef doesn’t go mad. What type of bread is this?

“Hehehe, Chef Ramsknee does make some pretty sweet stuff, doesn’t he?” Nightingale chuckled.

“Ramsknee? That’s his name? Sounds familiar.”

“If you’re done ogling over that burger, can you answer my question?” Nightingale scowled, this is going to become a common thing with her isn’t it?

“Yeah, yeah, Las Pegasus, city of sin, metropolis of wonder, gambler’s paradise, what about it?”

“Funny how it’s a nocturnal city with a lot of gamblers.”

It took a moment for my brain to connect the pieces, “Oh…”

“Eeyup, the princesses get power over three things,” she exclaimed, “Luna get full reign over the night, dreams, and luck.”

“I would’ve thought she only had reign over the moon.”

“The moon is a part of the night, a big part maybe, but still only part of it.”

I finished my burger and started walking away after saying goodbye to Nightingale.

“Uh, where do you think you’re going?” she asked.

“I’m uh…” I realized I didn’t have anywhere to go.

“Luna told me to escort you to your room when you got out of the medical wing.”

That explains why she followed me to the dinning room, “Great, so uh…”

“Yeah, we can talk more when we get to your room.”

We started walking but didn’t start talking until we got out of the dinning room.

“So you’re the fifth pony to survive Luna’s first test.” Nightingale stated.

That statement made me nervous.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound that bad… ok, it is that bad,” She laughed.

“Just get to the point,” I grunted as I rolled my eyes.

“Alright, I’m going to tell you what the secret of these tests are,” she ominously said, “They’re based on the aspects Luna has reign over.”

“So… Night, Dream, and… Luck…” why do I have the feeling I’m going to hate the last test. Actually, how the hell am I going to pass the dream test?!

“That’s right!” Nightingale sarcastically cheered, “You must’ve been the smartest stallion in your class.”

“You’re a real bitch, you know that.”

“I have been told that I’m a pain in the neck,” she flashed her fangs at me.

“That reminds me, what exactly did you mean by you being a vampire?”

“We haven’t had any contact with other ponies until recently,” Nightingale grimaced, “Long ago, a unicorn sought to find a means of immortality. He experimented on all types of ponies and animals. Nopony knows if he succeeded or not. He disappeared after his lab exploded. It could’ve been assumed he was dead but stories about him kept showing up years later. Anyways, he did manage to succeed in creating three different types of ponies. Vampires, which are like pegasi only we got bat like features such as these beauties,” she grinned flaring her leathery wings.

“Right…” I’m having a hard time believing her.

“Ok, I’ve seen that look. Yes, vampires have been seen a… bloodsuckers… especially in movies and such. But really, we’re just like anypony else. With the exception of the obvious.”

“If you say so.”

“The other two were Lycans and Revenants. Lycans look like a cross between a dog and a pony. Revenants, however,” Nightingale shivered, “THOSE guys are disturbing.”

She refused to say anything else about the ‘new’ species. Except for the fact they were created via unicorn magic. Unicorns, always doing some sort of weird shit.

“We’re here!” she dramatically presented the door.

We walked into my new room.

It looked… blank. Understandable since I didn’t have much. I noticed my vest was hanging on a coat rack. Only a television and a bed made up the rest of the room.

“Comfy…” I dryly stated.

“Took us a while to get here. It’s already eight!”

I turned to look at a clock on top of the tv. Sure enough, it said eight.

“Try not to have a mental breakdown while I’m on patrol.” Nightingale growled as she rushed off.

The remark confused me. I closed the door regardless. Nothing else noteworthy happened. I watched some tv but that it. I went to be around midnight.

What I didn’t expect was Luna to appear in my dreams.

“Greetings, Teddy,” she smiled, “It’s time for your second test.”

Looking around, I saw… blackness… As if to say my head was empty.

“So… What happens next?”

“First we have to find Black Light. He’ll aid you with the test.”

We started walking through the black void. Wandering aimlessly. I felt like we weren’t moving at all. Just staying in the same place, forever trapped in one spot. Luna seem unfazed by it. I suppose she’s used to it if she has dominion over dreams.

After what felt like an eternity, I saw a faint magenta glow in the distance. It grew closer as we walked. I noticed Luna wore smile. The glow began to take the shape of a stallion. An outline grew brightly then faded away as features of a unicorn settled in front of us.

“Good evening, Black Light,” Luna greeted the stallion.

“Charmed,” he said with no emotion, “This must be Teddy. I’ve head fractions about you.” He didn’t even look at me when he said that.

“O…k… So, about this test…”

Black Light raised a hoof, “In time, for now you must learn dream rules.”

“Black Light was a member of my sister’s ‘Dream Police’ when I was,” Luna hesitated with an enraged expression, “occupied.”

“Lucky for you, the rules are simple,” Black Light stated, “First; when you’re in the dreamscape, only the dreamer can change his dreams, understand?”

I nod my head with annoyance. This guy is starting to piss me off.

“Second; do NOT damage anything in the dreamscape, you may cause permanent harm to the dreamer.”

A moment of silence lingered before I nodded my head again.

“Finally; do NOT repeat the same actions multiple times.”

Alright, that last one was cryptic. I just nodded so we could move on. Of course, Black Light didn’t believe me and fired an arcane bolt at me.

I ducked just in time for me to get a minor burn.

Another arcane bolt struck at my hooves. I started running only to find Black Light in front of me. I ducked, expecting another arcane bolt, and was hit hard with a shovel. Black Light disappeared. I looked around for him but only saw darkness.

“A real disappointment. I expect better from Luna’s assistant,” He taunted.

A little ticked, I made a quick thought about what to do. After getting bitten by fuzz balls that appeared out of nowhere. So far I’ve been attacked from the top, front, bottom, and sides… That only left…

I quickly turned around and thrust my hoof in the center of Black Light’s face. He vaporized and I ran forwards to meet him again. This time, I pinned him to the ground.

“Ah, quick learner, excellent,” he chimed, “A greater pick than the last five. Did any of them past the test?”

“Only one,” Luna ominously growled.

That means my chances of getting this job is smaller than before. Great! I love it when the job I’m after has a chance to kill me or worse! Bring on the next test!

“Are you positive he’s fit for this position? A unicorn would be more pleasant company.”

“Hello, right in front of you.”

“Or so you think.”

“What?”

Black Light vanished.

I blinked and turned to Luna with a confused look.

“He has as much to learn as you do,” she sighed.

“Did I past the test?”

“No. It has yet to begin.”

With a wave of her wing, a portal opened. The swirling violet vortex was soothing yet frightening. Luna swiftly trotted through the portal. I hesitantly stepped towards it. Closing my eyes, I dove right into it.

On the other side I found Luna. Instead of absolute darkness, I found myself in a landscape of pure madness. Butterflies of various colors formed into houses. Butter slid across the ground as if it was alive. Trees had disturbing features and appeared to be the tortured remains of forgotten ponies. In the center of the landscape was a wooden castle.

“What… the… fuck…” I gasped with amazement.

“This one has been scared from a terrible past,” Luna frowned, “My sister was not efficient with her Dream Police.”

“We’re going to find the pony having this dream.”

Luna nodded with a smirk.

With a jump, she fly off the cliff we stood on. She gracefully glided into the disturbed forest. Reluctantly, I followed.

In the forest, I felt absolute terror. The trees… They moved with eyes and gapping mauls. I swore they were following us, blocking our path, and planned on murdering right there!

“Teddy, you must be calm,” Luna soothingly whispered, “What you see and feel are illusions. They cloud the mind to prevent accomplishment. Do not fear that which is not there.”

I began to relax. Being near Luna helped greatly. I don’t know why but I felt safe near her. Similar to a child being near their mother. The way she spoke was authoritative and nurturing.

We continued our trek toward the castle. Keeping close to Luna, I shuddered as the forest closed behind us. Preventing us from leaving the castle. Luna ignored it and continued walking up the steps. The door was a massive wall with the engravings of alicorns waging war against each other. I heard Luna huff in frustration. She kicked the doors open. The wind echoed a wailing moan that sent shivers down my spine.

Passing through the doorway, I once agains saw pure darkness. This time, however, there was some visible stuff. It appeared to be normal castle decor. Paintings, sculptures, potted plants, whatever you’d find in a castle was here. I accidentally bumped a vase of a table. The exact second the crash made a sound, a maid popped out of thin air. She seemed to be in a panic and constantly cleaning everything.

“Busy, busy, busy,” the maid muttered, “Have to keep everything clean for the princess.”

Luna quirked an eyebrow at her. I shared the same expression. Did she not see Luna?

“You know the princess is right here?”

The maid looked up, “That’s not the princess,” she stated before going back to cleaning.

This is insane. She refuses to not do anything except clean! I tried pulling her away, moving the mess she was cleaning, pinning her to one spot. Luna stayed back and watched me. She had that expression your teacher would get when he asked a question and expected an answer from whoever he called on but didn’t get it right away. We sorry some of us have to use our fucking brain to find the answer to a problem! Oh, she finished cleaning the last mess. And now she’s scrubbing the same spots again. Ugh, that Black Light told me not to do the same things over and over but what about others doing the same things?

We watched the maid repeat the same cleaning cycle for a couple hours. I was thinking of some way to stop her. It became obvious this was my test since Luna did nothing but stare at me. I watched the maid closely to see if I can break the pattern. She kept repeating everything. Then I got an idea.

“The princess said you’re fired!” I shouted.

The maid stopped, dead in her tracks. She whimpered for a small moment and collapsed. She curled into a ball and started crying. I felt bad and decided to comfort her.

“W-Why did she fire me?” she whispered, “I’ve been a good maid. I clean and clean and clean.”

“But you didn’t have to keep cleaning. Everything was already clean.”

“That’s my job! How could I be fired for doing my job?!”

I showed her the objects she had been cleaning for the past few hours.

“The decor lost its color because you would not stop cleaning it,” I explained, “It’s fine to keep things clean but you have to learn when it’s appropriate to stop.”

The maid nodded and stood.

“What made you so desperate to keep everything clean?”

A loud rumble answered my question.

Luna stood, ready for battle. Somehow she had a sword and armor.

The maid coward in fear and tried to hide from whatever made that noise.

I turned around to see a nightmarish creature. It looked like an old mare, a grandmother perhaps, except it was pitch black with claws and tendrils extruding out of it. Its glowing yellow eyes pierced into my soul. Dread filled my mind. This creature was not only the cause of the maid’s fears but the very essence of them.

“WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED CLEANING, DEAR?” the thing boomed.

Luna drew her sword in a defensive pose.

“You must be the princess,” I smirked.

“BOW BEFORE ME WELP!”

“In your dreams,” I chuckled a little, “or should I say nightmares?”

The creature slammed tendrils down on top of me. To which I dodged. Luna kept her guard near the maid. Looks like I’m on my own here.

The thing slapped me with a claw. Sending me through a painting which acted like a portal to a bedroom. The bed sheets animated itself and wrapped around me. The thing slithered in, creepily lashing its tongue around its lips. With a steady claw it tickled my sides and forcefully opened my wings. Big mistake.

I waved my wings forward to send a gust of wind in the monster’s face. I succeeded in sending it flying out of the paint portal. The sheets limped off me. Quickly, I darted through the paint portal to make sure it was gone.

In the room I originated from, Luna fought the monster. The maid scurried away to hide under a table. With the monster busy I grabbed a shard of a broken sculpture and jammed it in the thing’s back. It wasn’t very effective. The monster grabbed me and embedded me into the floor.

“YOU ARE WEAK AND PATHETIC!” the thing growled, “JUST LIKE THAT WORM UNDER THAT TABLE.”

The maid yipped and ran away. Only to be snatched by a tendril.

“I THINK I’LL HAVE FUN PUNISHING YOU,” the thing grinned as tendrils tore pieces of the maid’s outfit.

I got out of the floor as the maid struggled and screamed. I weighed my options. One thing I could do was attack the thing again. But that was proven to not work well. Luna might be able to help but I felt if the situation got out of control she would’ve done something by now. I noticed the maid was a unicorn when a tendril threw her hat off. A third option opened up.

“Go for the eyes!”

“What?”

“Stab it with your horn!”

The maid glanced at her horn. Her outfit remained nearly intact with numerous tears. In a desperate attempt to free herself, she threw her head right into the creature’s face. Her horn pierced through an eye. Bright light emitted out of the wound. The monster released the maid as it glowed florescent white. Anyone who learned about magic knows white light is the most dangerous magic to be near. I flew to the maid, grabbed her, and dove behind Luna.

Luna managed to create a shield to protect us from the sudden explosion. Only white light could be seen. We all closed our eyes until the havoc settled. When we opened them, we were inside a cozy little apartment. The orange haze of a setting sun shined through a nearby window.

Luna put a hoof around me.

“Well done,” she smiled.

The maid glowed warmly as she trotted around her apartment. It seemed that we were no longer there to her. Well, that was my first thought before she turned to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I suppose it’s not everyday a stallion attempts to save you from a nightmare monster. She’ll most likely forget this whole thing in the morning. It was a dream after all.

Still, if I got this recognition for just a brief moment every night, it’d be worth being forgotten about. The back of my mind tells me Luna disagrees with that.

Luna had opened a portal back to the dark void.

“Amazing,” she gasped, “Only two others have passed this test.”

“But not the final one,” I realized the last test was going to be similar to throwing your life savings in a poker pot with only an ace and a five.

“Only one took the test,” Luna sighed, “The other quit.”

This final test was the epic decider. Do or die. If I quit, I wouldn’t be able to find another job in time to survive another night. I also didn’t have a place to stay and was dependent on the castle’s free food. If I went with the test I may or may not survive. If I did survive I’d get the job, free food, and a nice room in the castle…

I put up with these last two tests. How bad can this final one be?

Final Test

I woke up late in the afternoon.

Since I was aiming to be Luna’s personal assistant I should get used to this.

I made my bed, cleaned up in the bathroom, and got dressed. My glasses seemed to be smudge on the edge. Not much of a bother. Vest seems fine after that manticore fight. Undamaged and still clean, amazing! Looks like my luck is good so far.

Luck…

How is it even possible to test luck?

Yeah, those unicorns developed the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. test but nopony could understand it. Except those unicorn doctors. Speaking of which, I should take the test sometime. Today would be a good idea… but I better find a sane doctor. I don’t care if Medic’s (the apparent restoration magic expect) the star healer in the castle with approval from the princesses themselves. I’m going to a doctor that doesn’t stitch a hydra heart in me!

“Mourning Teddy,” Nightingale greeted as I passed her in the hall.

“Mourning.”

Nightingale has only talked to me a few times. She’s a bitch but she’s still nice to have around. Visited me in the hospital everyday last week. Until Medic kicked her out so he could “practice medicine” on me. She was a moderate ranked night guard. Every night she would travel to a certain part of Equestria with three other guards to ensure each town was safe. With the amount of towns in this country, that’s a lot.

I head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. I order some toast and sit in the same spot as yesterday.

A red unicorn stallion wearing sunglasses and a coat sit next to me. He was unfamiliar at first. Then I realize it was Black Light when he levitated a cup of tea in his deep purple aura.

“I hope you realize your chances of surviving are slim to none,” he monotony stated, “Your position makes your choice understandable however I recommend you reconsider.”

I glare at him as I receive my toast.

“I meant no offense. I just wish you don’t commit suicide.”

“I’ll think about it,” I growled.

“No you won’t.”

I took my toast and trotted away. Perhaps I can find a cheap doctor in the first tier?

“Only cheap doctor you’ll find is Medic,” Black Light stated, “You can go to him or go on without knowing.”

I flinched and had the thought that he was reading my mind. After I got that first thought out, I figured he poked around my head when he was in my dream last night. As odd as that sounds…

I humph and turned away.

“When you die, may I have your vest?” was the last thing I heard him say before escaping his sight.

I took a tour around the first tier to look for a doctor to do the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. test. All I had was 80 bits. The lowest the cheap doctors went was 140 bits. I gave up around seven. My stomach growled so I had dinner at a fast service place. I think it was called Ponic? Could be wrong, the sign was banged up pretty badly. I had a chili dog with tots and a soda. When I finished I flew back to the castle.

I managed to return to my room to find a lavender mare sitting on my bed.

“I thought you were going to leave,” Nightingale muttered.

“Just had to spend the last of my cash,” I lied, I still had 40 bits left.

“Luna said the test will be in the dungeon so nopony will complain about the screaming.”

I felt a bead of sweat at the thought of what this luck test involved. Nightingale lead me out the room to the dungeon. The walk felt long and tiresome. Nightingale refused to speak a word. That was something you’d never see in the same sentence! It felt like she regretted escorting me to the dungeon. She appeared sad.

After the depressing trek, we came into a room within the dungeon. Luna and Black Light stood in the center behind an alter. Nightingale pushed me with her to the center.

“None have survived this test,” Luna boldly stated, “This shall be your final chance to leave.”

“Please… just leave… I don’t want you to die,” Nightingale whimpered which shocked me deeply.

“Technically his chances are estimated at 36%,” Black Light chuckled, “quite the improvement from the last one.”

“What was the last one?”

“34% survival and 2% catatonic. I had hoped she’d go into a catatonic state so I could observe the effects on her mind. Alas, she decomposed before our eyes, what a pity.”

I restrained myself from vomiting. Not only at the thought of decomposing alive but the fact Black Light wished it on somepony! The fucks wrong with this guy?! Even Nightingale glared at him.

With a sigh, Luna held out a hoof above a dish. Black Light levitated a dagger into her hoof.

“Such annoyance,” he grumbled, “It would be easier to use telekinesis.”

Luna ignored his words as Nightingale stretched a strand of Luna’s hair. Using the dagger, Luna cut a small portion of her hair and placed it into the dish.

Black Light had a jug he must’ve gotten when my eyes left him. He levitated the jug to pour its contents in the dish.

Luna then used the dagger to stir the mixture, ensuring the dagger was completely coated in the substance.

“Please let him live,” Luna prayed as dark energy enveloped her horn. The black aura surrounded her. In a second, the aura focused on the dagger. The dagger was quickly enveloped in dark energy. Luna peacefully set in in the dish to bath.

The dish started bubbling. Green foam crawled over the edges. A couple drips fell to the floor. The expressions on their faces was regret. Even Black Light, the first expression he ever showed! Hopefully I’ll live to tell the tale of Black Light’s first expression.

“Drink,” Luna ordered.

With hesitation I looked into the dish. The foam stayed near the edge to reveal the dark dagger hissing at the bottom of the bowl. A foul stench whipped my nostrils. This was the final test and I plunged right in. A decision I kicked myself for making.

At first everything seemed fine. My vision turned green but that was it. Everyone had worried looks on their faces.

I started shaking and eventually fell to the floor, convoluting violently.

“Guards!” Nightingale shouted, “Get Medic in here four hours ago!”

My vision blurred with motion as Nightingale held me down. Luna bowed her head, eyeing me with guilt. Black light adjusted his shades with an interested hum.

“This did not happen last time, fascinating,” I heard him chuckle, “perhaps he will survive.”

I felt a cold burn run through my body. Ice water flowed through my veins. The convulsions of my body became violent. I unintentionally struck Nightingale square in the muzzle. She flinched but still held me tightly.

My eyes darted around the room, taking in every corner I saw. My eyes landed on a strange grey stallion, wearing a suite and fedora.

The stallion slowly walked to me. Completely ignored by anyone else in the room. I noticed he had a briefcase. He opened it and took out a syringe filled with dark substance. Which he injected right into my forehead. The fact Nightingale never saw this made me believe the whole thing was a hallucination. The stallion walked away through the back wall. Last thing I saw from him was the binocular mark on his flank.

My convulsions stopped. The cold burn went away. I finally felt calm as Nightingale started to panic. I could only remember the last thing that I heard.

“He’s still breathing? What a pity…” Obviously Black Light.

I finally woke up with Medic grinning at me.

My scream could be heard by the entire capital.

“Medic! We said no experiments!” Nightingale shouted as she broke the door.

“I haven’t done anything! He just now woke up!” Medic retorted.

Everyone who attended my final test was there. Which was to say the few ponies I met and talked to during my stay at the castle.

“Oh thank goodness,” Nightingale sighed, “I was so worried about you!”

Nightingale gently hugged me.

“Didn’t know you were into me,” I laughed.

Nightingale squeezed harder.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ok, I get it! No more jokes for the day!”

She let go of me with a smug look.

“Yes, you two would make a lovely pair,” Black Light blandly stated, “Especially with you new features.”

“My what?”

Nightingale grabbed my wing.

“Looks like he doesn’t have them anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hmm… perhaps we should run some tests…”

“NO!” me, Nightingale, and Luna shouted.

“May I at least have a blood sample?” Medic imply asked with a syringe in his aura.

“Oh fuck no!”

I tried to force myself off the bed only to find myself strapped down.

“Apologies,” Luna said, “We had to ensure you would not struggle in your sleep.”

“I must insist we run some tests,” Black Light demanded, “who knows what consequences your concoction caused.”

“Teddy A Bear must have his rest before we do anything with him,” Luna glared.

“Very well,” Black Light sighed as he left.

Nightingale had unstrapped me and rolled her eyes as she watched Black Light leave.

“I don’t know why you let him stay.”

“He is difficult to communicate with but he has excellent judgment,” Luna sighed.

I hopped out of bed, feeling good. Whatever that stuff was, it made me feel awesome. Everyone in the room eyed me.

“Perhaps my über heart aided you with the test,” Medic deduced.

Considering I was the one that he decided to test on first, probably.

Luna whispered something in Medic’s and Nightingale’s ears. They left with panicked expressions. When Nightingale’s panicked, it’s probably serious. If Medic’s panicked, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

The door closed, leaving me alone with Luna.

“How doth you feel, Teddy A Bear?” she asked.

“Pretty good,” I replied.

“Do you…” Luna hesitated for a moment, “feel anything around you?”

I burrowed an eyebrow as I said no.

Luna’s horn glowed. She had created a portal and levitated a book out of it.

“This is why the tests were of great importance,” she opened the book to a random page. Or did she intentionally open it on that page?

The page displayed a single pony with dark energy flowing through him.

“My charges are the Night, Dreams, and Luck,”

Luna tapped on the image, “Luck is an unpredictable force and has the potential to bring ruin if left unchecked.”

She turned the page. The new image showed the pony being devoured by a dark creature.

“If I am to have an assistant, he must be capable of keeping his luck in check,” Luna glared at me, “Understand this. You may have survived much but it will be in vain if you do not control yourself.”

“Wait, so this was just a lesson in self control?”

Luna nodded.

“Then why did you have to threaten my life?!” I held back some vulgar words since I was in the presence of royalty.

“I deal with these threats every night,” Luna stated, “You will need to be used to it if you are to assist me.”

I let out a huge sigh, “At least it’s a fun job… if it does have the potential to blow my hide clean off.”

“Or shatter your connection to reality, vaporize you into dust, make you believe you’re a hairless ape, and may cause you to become your own grandfather,” Luna giggled.

I did not know if I was suppose to laugh with her or regret not taking the job in Appleloosa.

“One last thing before we leave,” Luna put on her serious face.

She returned to the book and flipped it several pages, “There are those who use dark magic to harm others, just as there are those who use LIGHT magic to harm other,” she started to glow angry, “So I had to make a way to defend against it.”

Her horn glowed with dark energy. I felt something… odd… I suddenly felt a boost. Luna aimed the dark energy at me and fired.

I didn’t have much time to react and instinctually put my wings in front of me to act as a shield. I expected the blast to harm me. Instead, it seemed that I absorbed it. I looked around in confusion. My vision blurred and I felt a cold burn. The same feeling I had last night.

“Oh dear,” Luna gasped, “Seems to have some nasty side effects.”

With limited control, I growled at Luna. She levitated a nearby mirror to me.

The reflection I saw looked almost exactly like me, if a bit angry. Only exception was the bat wings and minor specks of deep blue lightning coming off of me.

“My fault, really, I shouldn’t have used so much dark energy.”

I flared my wings with tense muscles. It felt like I was about to pounce on Luna. The feelings slowly faded as I began to relax. Now I was somewhat exhausted from restraining myself.

“Excellent, You’ve passed the final test,” Luna smiled.

“Seriously?”

“Yes and no, the test was to see if you had the ability to withstand dark energy which requires a good amount of luck. The fact you gained some interesting dark powers and are able to control it is a bonus.”

“Dark powers? Sounds cool.”

“Well, to be precise, it’s merely your natural pegasus dark magic. The same way I was using unicorn dark magic. Like all magic it will be different for all species.”

“So what is pegasus dark magic?”

“You’ll have to learn some other day. I have to convince Tia to release the ridiculous ban on dark magic… after the Gala Tomorrow night.”

“The Gala?”

“The Grand Galloping Gala, a large party my sister started at the end of the summer as an attempt to ease her mind.”

“Big party? Sounds fun… Wait, ease her mind about what?”

Luna left the room in silence after that question.

The Grand Galloping Gala, big party… Wonder if Nightingale knows anything about it?

Worst Night Ever

“I don’t know,” Nightingale told me.

I found her napping in the armory. She said she spent the entire night polishing the weapons. Ignoring the fact none of them looked clean and were obviously used recently on the dummy, now missing its head.

“Well, can we at least attend to the party?” I asked innocently.

“No, invitation only,” she quickly smirked, “but we can crash it.”

I was hesitant on doing that since I got the job yesterday. However, since Luna had essentially tried to kill me, I might get away with it.

We laughed about the idea for a while and I left to go to the library. I’m sure there’s a book on holiday origins.

Unfortunately the library was on the south side of the castle. There’s this rule about airspace travel so I have to wonder the halls for the next few hours. There wasn’t much to talk about with my flight. Guards marched up and down, maids dusted the walls, snobs wiped their muzzles on the sleeve of their fancy dress, the usual. It felt like the whole day went by when I got to the library!

It was only five in the afternoon.

“Oh, hello dear,” the librarian greeted me, “It’s going to be a busy night, are you sure you want to be here?”

“I just wanted a little information on the Grand Galloping Gala,” I smiled, “Do you know anything about it?”

She pulled out a book titled “History of the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“That works.”

I opened the book and started reading.

“Page 42.”

“What?”

“The information you want, it’s on page 42,” she sighed, “It’s always page 42.”

Sure enough, page 42 was the exact page that had the origin of the Grand Galloping Gala.

The story said; after the June solstice and the banishment of Nightmare Moon, Celestia fell into a year long depression. This depression created five national holidays. The first was the Grand Galloping Gala. Which took place on the first night of autumn. The story claimed that Celestia denied all questions about her sister’s disappearance and stated that she was “on vacation.”

Strange, why is this on the 42nd page? Authors probably spent the last forty pages glgloating about how they found this information… or they made it up.

“Eeyup, Celestia lost her sister and denied her banishment for an entire season,” the librarian stated.

“Wait, what?! Banishment?”

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head.

“Now you do,” the librarian leaned back and started snoring.

Weird lady.

I decided to leave and see if I could get anything out of Luna. Maybe get some actual grounds on what being her “assistant” means. And of course her room is on the east side of the castle! Ugh! At least it’s a shorter flight.

That is on a normal night. Tonight there was a huge crowd of ponies lined up in the main hall. Celestia was greeting them one by one. The guards played bouncers and pushed ponies into line and kicked out anyone who wasn’t on the list.

“Hey! You!”

Crap, I’m in trouble. They probably think I’m trying to sneak in.

A pegasus guard flew up to me, grabbing my leg.

“You’re suppose to make sure Luna’s ready for the night!” he whispered, “She’s been gone for over one thousand years, she’ll need help adjusting.”

I escaped his hold and blinked in front of him. Amused by his confusion. I allowed him to escort me to Luna’s room without him holding me. He flew back to the party when we met the door.

I knocked once and was shoved in via Luna’s telekinesis.

“THERE YOU ARE!” she shouted, blowing me back with the force of her voice, “WE REQUIRE YOU TO PERFORM THE DUTIES WE HAVE APPOINTED TO YEE!”

“Ok, no need for shouting,” I rubbed my ear.

“Apologies, I am quite nervous,” she examined herself in the mirror.

A silky mauve dress flowed over her. A pearl necklace hung from her mouth, matching her pearl earrings. An ebony tiara kept her mane in position. Beehive style? Her fashion sense must be dated. She turned to me as soon as she got her pearls on.

“How do we look?”

“Good.”

I didn’t know what to tell her. Mares asking that question to stallions never end well.

“Good? Not menacing, or terrifying, or intimidating?”

“Nope.”

Luna sighed with a pleased expression.

“Then we shall attend the Gala,” she eyed me up an down, “After we get you dressed.”

I gawked back, “What? What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?”

“A black vest is suitable for work not class.”

“But this is my favorite and only vest!”

“We’ll have it sent back to your room.”

I grumbled, knowing I didn’t have a choice.

Luna called a tailor in to get me suited for a tuxedo and jacket. Not what I’d normally wear but it was nice getting fancy shit for free. I’d wear it… once.

Once Luna was satisfied, we left to the party. It was around nine. The Gala would end around midnight. Anypony who was invited is either ready to leave or are enjoying themselves till the end. We ended the line.

“Hey, Teddy, nice date,” I heard Nightingale tease.

“Our assistant is with us for security reason and non other,” Luna stated formally.

“I’m teasing, Luna,” Nightingale sighed, “Besides, I would be better security than this twig.”

It’s true. I didn’t know anything about combat or safety in general. The fact I survived that manticore was pure luck. I would’ve kept blinking if I didn’t take the chance of electrocuting myself.

… What? It’s a nice feeling!

“We do not doubt your abilities,” Luna waved her hoof, “Teddy requires more training but he still holds great power.”

“And with great power comes…”

“Don’t you dare finish that reference!” Nightingale growled.

Yeesh, ok, fine. No Spider-Steed reference.

“Luna!” Celestia chimmed.

“Tia!”

The two sisters hugged with a giggle.

“I expected you to wear much darker cloths.”

“We had an assistant to help,” Luna waved a hoof to me.

“Ah, this must be Teddy A Bear, pleasure to meet you,” she offered her hoof.

I shook it, not sure what to say.

“Greetings, My name’s Twilight Sparkle,” a lavender unicorn, possibly a little younger than me, spoke up.

I shook her hoof, “Heya, there a reason you’re next to Celestia and not having fun?”

Twilight flinched.

“It is a party, right?”

That was when the castle shook.

“Looks like we’re missing the fun,” I said as Celestia and Twilight ran off.

Luna slowly followed behind. I followed Luna, matching her speed. Nightingale followed me.

There was an echo of a deranged mare shouting “Love me” or something similar to that. I was a mere few seconds before a large group stampeded past us. They looked like a mess. I heard animal sounds screeching from the ball room. This is going to be one of those nights.

We walked in the room to see Celestia trying to gather the guards while calming the guests. Animals scurried across the room. Ponies panicked like little fillies seeing a monster. Guards were pretty much useless.

“Enough!” a unicorn shouted.

Said unicorn levitated the animals and threw them to the wall.

“Woah! Dude! What the fuck?” I yelled at him.

“How dare you use such profanity, barbarian!”

I rolled my eyes at the silly insult.

“It’s animal cruelty,” I explained slowly, “hurting animals for the sake of harming them makes you no better than Discord.”

Several unicorns gasped.

“Y- You… You Flapper!”

The entire room fell silent.

Luna’s and Celestia’s jaws hung wide open. Every pegasus there came to my side.

“The fuck you say Horny?” The leader of the Wonderbolts growled.

The unicorns gawked at that.

“I called the beast what he is,” the unicorn stated proudly, “A mindless, illogical, Fla-“

The Wonderbolt’s hoof made contact with the unicorn’s face so fast smoke emitted from his muzzle.

“Everypony, please stay calm,” Celestia attempted to plea.

I looked to Luna. She held a glare at the unicorn. She gave me a nod. Nightingale grinned and cracked her shoulders. Time to get the party started.

“Screw calm, let’s fight!”

A ball room brawl erupted within seconds of me declaring it. Celestia hid away with an escort of guards, the animals fled as soon as they could, and Luna joined the brawl not caring that her dress had torn. Nightingale went easy on them. She had to make sure her victims still lived when she got a hold of them. I did the smart thing and hid behind her.

“This is awesome!” Nightingale cheered, “Last year’s gala was duller than a rusty hammer.”

“Glade you’re enjoying it, that unicorn deserved getting the shit kicked out of him.”

“Yeah, Blueblood’s a bastard.”

A blast of blue energy knocked Nightingale off the current pony she was beating. The source of the blast came from the unicorn that started this brawl, Blueblood.

“Vermin; If I had my way, you’d all be exterminated!” he leered towards me, “As for the flapper, fitting that you would coward before a real pony.”

Blueblood was levitated by a violet aura. In a flash he was slammed to the floor hard enough to leave a crater.

“Shame there are none around,” Black Light showed up with several friendly unicorns, “Not all of Canterlot agree with pretty boy.”

Blueblood grunted.

By now the band joined the battle. They apparently kept guns in the cases of their instruments.

“What the bloody fuck?!” I shouted under the gunfire.

“Natives of Canterlot,” Black Light stated, “Specifically, the first tire natives.”

I wasn’t sure what the first tire was like but if it was like Las Pegasus, the guns were a safety precaution. Who knows what monsters there were here?

“Gah!” one of the bullets hit me in the knee. Rubber bullets? Huh, must be security guns. Explains why they were allowed in.

Still, I would rather not get hit again. Black Light, thankfully, put a shield around us.

“The band seems to be enjoying their spotlight,” Black Light chuckled, “It has been ages since I joined a battle. What do you think, Fleur?”

A slender white unicorn mare giggled, “I would love to see how well trained the guards are now that I’m not training them.”

Her husband, I think, nodded and charged through an opening in the shield with a crowd of displeased unicorns.

“I’m surprised you’re not partaking in the brawl,” Black Light stated.

“I… can’t fight.”

“You survived the first test and you can’t fight?”

“I passed on pure luck. Did you forget I spent a week in the medical wing?”

Black Light sighed, “Nightingale told me you handled the staff well.”

“Yeah, I had basic staff lessons when I was in Las Pegasus but I’m no good in an actual fight.”

“Well… better hope you still have good luck,” Black Light swiftly darted off, leaving me open to attack.

Blueblood found the energy to get out of his crater and snarl at me.

I vaguely noticed Nightingale and Luna running away from… Celestia with a banana cream cannon? Why do I feel that’s not going to be the strangest thing I’m going to UMPH!

“I paid a heavy fortune for this tuxedo and now it’s ruined!” Blueblood roared.

I got up and spat in his face. Not the smartest thing to do but it was worth it to see the look on his face. Blueblood readied a forceful kick. The dimwit didn’t even think about my blink. I easily evaded all of his kicks.

I took a quick glance at Celestia. She returned to the party with a cannon, latex, and a few personal guards. Judging by her excessive laughter, I’d say she was having the best night ever. Luna and Nightingale were joyfully giggling as they ran from Celestia. Guards pacified most of the guest. The Wonderbolts left, I suspect to avoid a dishonorable discharge. Black Light and his unicorn gang held against the guards a little too well. The slender mare, Fleur I think, had a disappointed look as she shoved one of the guard’s face in the fondu fountain. Then a random earth pony with a cello landed on me.

“Uh, sorry about that,” she lifted the cello which turned out to double as a tommy gun, “If you’ll excuse me I have-“

“BEGONE PEASANT!”

“ -to teach a spoiled prince some manners,” the mare angrily sacked Blueblood with her cello. In a few seconds it changed into a tommy gun and she fired at him. Even though those were rubber bullets, it looked like one of the most painful things to go through.

“Nice,” I complemented the mare, “Remind me to recommend your band.”

Sadly, Blueblood had a bubble shield and wasn’t fazed by the bullets. His horn lit up with dark energy and blasted the mare. Apparently Celestia’s law against dark magic didn’t stick with Blueblood. The mare seemed ok, unconscious but ok. It was my turn to get pelted with dark magic.

I expected to fall over and be knocked out like that mare. Instead I felt… great. There was an enormous amount of energy flowing through me. It rejuvenated me, healed any wound I had, and gave me the feeling of being able to take on the entire royal guard. Note: actually doing that would be suicidal. The overall surge I felt could only be described in one word.

“Oh yeah…”

Blueblood’s jaw dropped. The room fell silent. Luna and Celestia, covered in banana cream, had worried looks. Everything froze for a brief moment.

I jerked my head to Blueblood. He flinched and started running away with his tail between his legs. I blinked through him. Unlike my usual blinks, this blink felt… like a phase shift I read unicorns were able to do. I felt myself go through Blueblood. He must’ve felt the same thing because he shivered with electrical sparks flicking off him. Once he fell I noticed a scorched trail marked the path of my blink. Luna has some explaining to do.

The night ended with the chandelier crashing through the floor, revealing a chasm of gemstones.