An Inconvenient Dash

by ssjgokillo

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance
Length: 7383

Twilight's plans to relax and read a book are thwarted by the appearance of Rainbow Dash, who insists on appearing wherever she goes and using her as some kind of chair. Has Rainbow Dash snapped? Cause Twilight's about to.

Princess Twilight Sparkle has been busy, what with dealing with supposedly reformed draconequui, restoring the ancient castle in the Everfree Forest, and making time helping the Cutie Mark Crusaders learn new skills. So when she finally gets a chance to relax, she decides to engage in her favorite pastime.

Reading!

Which would be a lot easier if Rainbow Dash didn't keep showing up and sitting on her. Or near her. And now she's so busy trying to figure out what her friend is up to, that she's losing out on precious reading time!

Will Twilight ever get to finish her book? Is Rainbow Dash pulling off the most elaborate prank in Ponyville history? Will there be a surprise guest appearance by David Pownie? Regrettably the answer to the last question is no, but find out the in the thrilling story: An Inconvenient Dash!

I saw the image used for the cover art and this story just kinda creeped into my head, and refused to leave. But hey, more Twidash is always a good thing right?

The image for the cover art belongs to Strange Danger, at least according to the watermark and derpibooru tag.

New Patch 1.2
Harmony numbers have been increased 20% across all classes.
Grammar corrections provided by the wonderful Applejack-fan.
Twicon Panic Levels have been fixed to be brought in line with current Defcon numbers.
Bug fixes for the Dragonshy raid have been deployed.
New World Event: Discord's Disco Disaster- Discord is up to his old tricks, turning Ponyville and all its inhabitants into 70's disco versions of themselves. Boogie down with your favorite mare or stallion, compete in special dance themed quests, and earn the special seasonal item -Bell-bottom Bogey Pants +5-!

Published 2014-06-12 20:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-12 20:20:04 UTC

Chapter One

Princess Twilight Sparkle closed the doors of Golden Oaks Library and gave a sigh of relief. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had just left, ecstatic over the progress they were making on their individual projects. While Twilight was happy to help the three fillies learn new skills, they could be quite the hoof full.

But now wasn’t the time to worry about that! Now it was truly “Twilight Time”. Spike was escorting the Crusaders back to Carousel Boutique, and there were no ponies in the library. She could finally just relax, without somepony bowing to her or asking her for a favor.

The sound of her hoofsteps across the wooden floors seemed louder in the calm of the library. The relative silence brought a smile to her lips. She truly loved Ponyville and all the interesting ponies who lived in the town, but they could get quite rowdy. She hummed a tuneless little song to herself as she trotted up the stairs.

In the sanctity of her room, she finally felt the stress of the day flow out of her body, the sensation of being at home creeping into her senses. The rest of the day was hers to do with as she wished.

And right now, she really wanted to finish the latest Daring Do book.

She still had a hard time believing that Daring Do was actually a real pony. Or that she had participated in one of Daring’s adventures! Of course, it was mainly Rainbow Dash who had aided Daring, but Twilight had been there at the end! And her help had been rewarded with an advance copy of the book that portrayed that very adventure. It was almost criminal that Twilight still hadn’t gotten a chance to read it, even if she already knew how it ended.

Twilight’s smile grew as she levitated the book from her desk. The book hadn’t even been opened yet, still having that stiff, pages-stuck-together feel of a new book just waiting to be read. Something Twilight was more than happy to do. She plopped down onto her favorite reading cushion, noting in the back of her mind how horrified Rarity would be to see a Princess relaxing in such an undignified manner.

She just hoped that Rarity never saw the way Celestia would unwind after a stressful day. Her perception of royalty would never recover.

Twilight shook the amusing thought of Rarity screaming about cakes from her mind. There was an unread book before her, and that was a situation that demanded to be rectified. With an almost giddy reverence, she pulled the cover open, shivering a little in pleasure at the crinkling sound the book made as it was opened for the first time. With a happy little sigh, Twilight let her eyes roam over the words, beginning the tale of Daring’s latest adventure…

Now, if there was one thing anypony (or dragon) who knew Twilight could attest to, it was the fact that once she got caught up in a book, it would take something almost earth-shattering to pull her attention away. It was a habit formed from years of intense study, when concerned teachers, guards, janitors, parents, or sun-goddesses would try to pull her attention away from whatever she was studying at the time. Eventually she had learned to tune-out all the distractions, while still responding in ways that ensured she’d be left alone to continue her studies.

So it wasn’t surprising when Twilight didn’t so much as glance away from her book when the sound of somepony knocking at the front door came from downstairs. It didn’t register to her when somepony opened the door, or when they trotted inside calling her name. Even as the pony in question walked up the stairs and into her room. In Twilight’s mind, all that existed was the images painted by the words of the book.

That is not to say that nothing could break Twilight’s attention while reading. Physical contact was a big one. Typically a poke in the side would shatter her world of words, bringing her back to reality.

Which meant, that the action of Daring Do and her sidekick escaping Ahuizotl’s trap was immediately interrupted as she felt a pressure on her hind legs. Twilight blinked as her mind tried to catch back up, still partially in the story.

At some point she had rearranged the way she was sitting, using the cushion more as a beanbag. That wasn’t unusual, she would often move around while she read. The strange thing was the familiar pegasus who was now reclined against her. A mane full of rainbow hair sat just beneath Twilight’s muzzle, giving no question to the identity of the pony who had suddenly invaded her personal space.

Twilight took a second to shake her head, making sure she wasn’t seeing things, or feeling things for that matter. But Rainbow Dash was still there, leaning back against Twilight with her own book in her hooves.

“Uhhh… Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah Twi?”

The normalcy of Rainbow Dash’s voice took Twilight back at first. It was like the pegasus didn’t even recognize the fact that she was currently using Twilight as a seat. “Can I help you?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head, the strands of her mane that brushed against Twilight’s neck and muzzle causing a tickling sensation. “Nah, I’m good thanks.”

Twilight waited for a few moments. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but nothing happened. Rainbow Dash just sat there, reading.

Long seconds passed as Twilight waited. Rainbow Dash seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was currently very-much invading Twilight’s personal space. While Twilight didn’t mind being close to her friends, this was taking things a little far. How could Rainbow Dash not realize that she was basically using Twilight as a pillow?

Unless…

Twilight’s mind finally seized upon an explanation. Of course, it was so simple. This was all part of some prank Rainbow Dash was pulling. Like last month when she had left those flowers in the library that were full of bees. Thankfully Fluttershy had been nearby, and had been able to talk the bees into a ceasefire, thus ending the Golden Oaks Invasion (even if Twilight had to cede a branch of the library for the new Kingdom of the Mighty Buzz).

The only question was, what the prank would be? Maybe Rainbow Dash had sat against her to put some itching powder on her? No, that would be too simple for a prank, besides Rainbow Dash would be covered in the itching powder too.

She quickly dismissed other ideas. Nothing she thought of seemed like the kind of prank Rainbow Dash would pull. Twilight grunted in annoyance as she looked at the content form of her friend. Just what was going through that devious mind? What pranks lurked in the shadows of Rainbow’s consciousness, just waiting to be unleashed on unsuspecting princesses who only wanted to read?!

If only she knew what Rainbow was planning! She could plan a way to counter it, or even better, a counterattack.

One thing was clear to Twilight. The longer she let Rainbow sit against her, the closer the prismatic prankster was to perfecting her prankish purpose.

But she couldn’t let Rainbow know she was on to her. Right now she had the advantage of knowing that Rainbow Dash was planning something. If she was careless though, then Rainbow Dash would know that she knew that Rainbow was up to something, thus gaining the advantage. No, in the cold war world of pranks, information was king. She would have to use all her subtlety in order to escape Rainbow’s clutches without tipping her own hoof.

Twilight yawned as convincingly as possible while stretching her wings. “Wow, is it that time already? I think I’m about ready to get some sleep.”

Rainbow Dash finally looked up from her book, raising an eyebrow at Twilight. “Uhhh… it’s like six or something Egghead.”

“Y-yeah! I...er...pulled an all nighter last night.” Twilight seized on the first believable excuse she could think of. “Yep, haven’t gotten a wink of sleep yet, so I’m just going to turn in early today.”

It was lucky for Equestria that Twilight was on the side of harmony, she would have made a formidable criminal mastermind.

Despite the brilliance of Twilight’s misdirection, Rainbow Dash look unconvinced. Thankfully, she didn’t press the issue.

“Whatever you say Twi, I guess I’ll head home then.” Rainbow Dash stood up, stretching much like a cat. She also just so happened to stick her flank right in Twilight’s face. Twilight quickly pulled her head back, fearing the worst. Surely Rainbow Dash wouldn’t pull a fart-joke...would she?

Rainbow Dash sighed happily, and jumped into the air, her wings flapping open and keeping her hovering. “Alright, I’ll see ya later Twilight. Try to get some ‘sleep’.” Twilight wasn’t sure why Rainbow Dash snickered when she said sleep, she just hoped that the pegasus wasn’t on to her.

She was also slightly annoyed with the way Rainbow brushed her tail against Twilight’s face as she turned to leave.

Twilight felt a sense of nervous relief when Rainbow Dash trotted out of the room. She waited until moments later when she heard the front door open, and then close, before springing into action.

First she cast a simple diagnostic spell on herself. The spell reported that she was clean, and that she had gained six pounds since the last time she had cast the spell, for which she blamed Pinkie Pie. That pony just had to keep making the best sweets.

She then began casting scrying spells around her room, to see if anything had been changed. When the result came up negative, she began systematically checking every inch of the library, not sure whether to feel relaxed or even more worried when each spell came up negative. If Rainbow Dash hadn’t set something up for this prank, then what was the whole point of using Twilight as a cushion?

Twilight’s mind began to whirl with possibilities. What if Rainbow Dash had found a way to hide whatever she had done from magical spells? That didn’t make any sense, but if Rainbow Dash had enlisted Pinkie Pie’s help… Twilight shuddered just thinking about it.

No, there had to be a more reasonable explanation. Perhaps Rainbow Dash was simply ‘casing the joint’? While she had been to the library on multiple occasions, Twilight highly doubted that Rainbow Dash had ever paid that much attention to the way rooms were set up.

Or perhaps… was this the prank itself? To get Twilight worried about the possibility of a prank, when there was none coming? While Twilight hated to admit it, her penchant for panic attacks was well known. Would Rainbow Dash try to capitalize on it? If so, Twilight would have to ruefully admit that it was working.

But what if, that was just part of it? What if Rainbow Dash knew that Twilight would figure out that this was the prank, and was simply waiting for Twilight to drop her guard to spring to the prank on her?

Maybe, Twilight mused, Equestria was really lucky that Rainbow Dash wasn’t a villain...

Two days had passed since the thoroughly confusing events that had taken place with Rainbow Dash. Two agonizing days where Twilight Sparkle had found herself jumping at every shadow, convinced that the rest of whatever prank Rainbow Dash was pulling was set to follow. Of course, nothing had happened yet, which had only increased the anxiety the young princess was feeling. If anything, she wished that Rainbow Dash would just hurry up and deliver whatever punchline she was waiting for.

Feeling a desperate need to relax, Twilight had flown out beyond Ponyville, passed the Whitetail Woods, to a small field near a lake she had found shortly after her move to Ponyville. Book in tow, Twilight was determined to spend the afternoon not thinking about pranks, or a certain pegasus and her nerve wracking antics.

The blades of grass bent under the force of Twilight’s wing flaps as she slowed to a landing. She looked around, the paranoid part of her mind insisting that she had been followed, or that Rainbow Dash had somehow known she would go here and was lying in wait. There was nopony to be seen however, which caused Twilight to sigh in relief. She trotted to the shade of a nearby tree, and laid in the cool shade.

She flipped open the book, relishing the chance to finish the story. It was interesting to see how Daring Do perceived the events that had taken place, especially to see her side of how things had gone down between her and Rainbow Dash, or Prisma Bolt, as she was called in the story.

Soon enough Twilight once again found herself lost in the narrative, the clearing fading away to the jungles that surrounded the Tenochtitlan Basin. Prisma Bolt had just gotten Daring captured (unintentionally of course), and now the plucky adventurer was being dragged away.

Despite the fact that Twilight knew everything turned out okay, she felt a tightness in her chest as nervous excitement built up within. Or, maybe it was a tightness in her side? On her back? Why the hay did it feel like she was carrying something?

Twilight felt a sense of dread as her concentration was once again broken. It couldn’t be, it just couldn’t be.

The sound of a page being turned behind her shattered that hope.

She turned her head, and sure enough caught sight of the colorful locks of Rainbow Dash’s mane. The pegasus was laying against her side, smiling happily as she read through her own copy of Daring Do and the Rings of Destiny.

Twilight groaned, her head falling into her book. Just what was Rainbow Dash playing at? Either she was setting up the most elaborate prank Ponyville had ever seen, or she was simply trying to drive Twilight mad.

Well Twilight wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction! She lifted her head, and began to read the page she’d left off on. There was no way she was going to lose another day of reading to Rainbow Dash’s antics! If she couldn’t prepare for whatever prank was being pulled, then she’d simply ignore it until it happened. For now, she was just going to enjoy the rest of her book in peace.

At least she tried. To her credit, she really did try to ignore the pegasus who was curled against her. But Rainbow Dash just wouldn’t sit still! It seemed every time Twilight began to read the page, Rainbow would twitch, or fidget, or squirm, or any number of synonyms that were beginning to cause Twilight’s eyes to twitch. Rainbow Dash even leaned further into her, sighing happily once she found some spot that was obviously more comfortable than the other.

It was getting ridiculous! Twilight didn’t care, prank or no, this couldn’t go on. If she had to let Rainbow Dash know that she was onto her then so be it. She’d gladly take whatever escalated prank came from it, if only for a few moments of peace.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight’s mouth was open, but she hadn’t said that. She felt Rainbow Dash jolt upright, finally pulling away from her, much to Twilight’s relief.

Hovering above the pair was Cloudchaser, one of the pegasi that worked on the Weather Patrol with Rainbow Dash. She looked about as annoyed as Twilight was feeling, her glare trained on Rainbow Dash.

“There you are! What do you think you’re doing?” Cloudchaser threw her forelegs into the air. “We’re supposed to be setting up for the rain scheduled for tomorrow? And you took off without saying anything!”

“Eheheh… yeah, sorry about that Cloudchaser.” Rainbow Dash at least looked sheepish, though whether it was because she had ditched Cloudchaser or because she had been caught was anypony’s guess. “I’ll be right there!”

Cloudchaser didn’t seem convinced, and simply hovered where she was while glaring at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash gave a sigh, and stood up, closing her book and setting it next to Twilight.

“Hey Twi, can you take this back to the library for me? I’ll swing by after work to pick it up.”

Twilight nodded. “That shouldn’t be a problem Rainbow Dash.” After all, Twilight couldn’t just leave a poor defenseless book out in the wild all alone.

“Sweet! Thanks Twilight, I’ll catch you later.” Rainbow Dash leapt into the air, two powerful flaps of her wings launching her into the sky. She shot past Cloudchaser, just barely missing the other pegasus, who gave a cry of indignation as the blue blur passed.

Cloudchaser took off after the fading rainbow contrail, leaving Twilight alone in the field.

Feeling triumphant at finally getting some peace, Twilight turned back to her book. If she was lucky she could finish the entire thing before she had to go back to the library. This was the part where Daring Do and Prisma Bolt had been joined by Prisma’s friends, who were distracting Ahuizotl’s minions while Daring and Prisma dealt with the Rings of Destiny.

However, reading about Prisma Bolt and Daring Do caused Twilight’s mind to lose focus on the book, instead going back to wondering just what Rainbow Dash had been up to. That, and some traitorous part of her mind that actually missed having Rainbow Dash all curled up against her.

Not that it should have surprised her. When she had been a filly, one of her favorite things to do was cuddle with her parents while reading a book. Even with the impending threat of Rainbow Dash’s prank hanging over her head, she had to admit that it was nice to have somepony to read with. Hadn’t she even told Rarity and Fluttershy during one of their tea time visits, that her ideal “date” with a special somepony would be just cuddling in front of a good book?

Twilight could see it perfectly. It would be a day with a clear blue sky, and just enough wind to keep the sun from becoming sweltering. She’d be laying comfortably on a blanket, a book open in front of her. And of course, next to her was Rainbow Dash, nestled so that the feathers of their wings were almost intermingling. Of course, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t be able to sit still for too long. Eventually she’d start trying to pull Twilight’s attention from the book.

It would start innocently enough. First Rainbow Dash would nuzzle against her neck, getting little more than an annoyed grunt from Twilight. That wouldn’t stop the Rainbow Dash though, if anything it would only make her more determined. Soon she’d begin to nuzzle Twilight’s cheek, which still wouldn’t break Twilight’s concentration. But Rainbow Dash knew Twilight well enough, and soon she’s stopped her nuzzling to move onto the next stage of her plan.

Hot breath against her ear would make Twilight freeze up, her eyes widening and a blush blossoming across her face. She would try to hide it of course, but Rainbow Dash would have already noticed, and would be grinning at her small victory. She’d wait a few moments, until Twilight had calmed down, then she’d begin nuzzling Twilight’s mane, taking in the smell of her shampoo.

Twilight would have stopped reading at this point, but it was a game. She wouldn’t let Rainbow Dash know that the pegasus was getting to her. No, she’d just revel in the feeling of Rainbow Dash’s caresses. Until, without warning, Rainbow Dash nipped at her ear. Twilight would yelp at that, her ears more than a little sensitive, and would try to pull away from Rainbow Dash, knowing not only that she wouldn’t be able to escape, but that she didn’t truly want to.

Rainbow Dash would wrap her forelegs around Twilight’s body, holding her in place while she continued alternating between nuzzling and lightly nipping against Twilight’s ears. The sound of Rainbow Dash’s wings slowly unfurling would cause a shudder to run down Twilight’s body, knowing full well what would come next.

Sure enough, the gentle touch of Rainbow Dash’s feathers would start trailing down her back. She would once again be enthralled at the dexterity Rainbow Dash would display with her wings, wishing that her own wings were even half as precise. The feathers would cascade down her back, heading towards her tail, leaving a fire under her skin. The touch would drift almost lazily down to Twilight’s cutie mark, circling the star shape before gently running across it.

Twilight would of course be putty in Rainbow Dash’s hooves at this point, only capable of sighs and moans as Rainbow Dash continued her assault. This would of course be the point Rainbow Dash was waiting for.

Without warning, the gentle caresses of Rainbow Dash’s wing would turn into the flurried swipes of her patented tickle attack. Twilight would go from relaxed to hysterical in the blink of an eye. She would unwisely roll away from Rainbow Dash, exposing her defenseless belly to her. Soon the dreaded wings would be running along Twilight’s sides, the alicorn unable to do anything but laugh.

Then, as sudden as it began, the attack would cease. Twilight would open half-lidded eyes to see Rainbow Dash looking down at her, a grin stretched across her face speaking of her victory. And of course, Rainbow Dash would take her prize, not even waiting for Twilight to finish catching her breath. No, she’d quickly close the distance between the two of them, her muzzle pressing firmly against Twilight’s own.

Twilight would then be very confused, as Rainbow Dash would pull away from the kiss and start licking the sides of Twilight’s face. The happy little barks Rainbow Dash would emit would only further Twilight’s confusion…

Twilight’s eyes sprang open, staring right at the happy face of an overexcited Winona. The dog, seemingly thrilled at having woken Twilight from her daydream, gave Twilight’s face another slobbery lick, before bounding away.

“Heh, sorry about that sugarcube. I was wonderin’ what made Winona take off like that.” Twilight shook her head and wiped a hoof across her face, before looking over at Applejack, who had the good grace to look sheepish at her dog’s show of affection.

Twilight sighed, and stood up, grabbing both her and Rainbow Dash’s books with her magic as she did. “It’s alright Applejack. Winona’s just a friendly dog. Besides, I was just letting my mind wander.”

Applejack smiled. “Heh, never thought I’d see the day when a book couldn’t keep your attention. What in the whole of Equestria could keep Twilight Sparkle from readin’?”

Twilight froze, and despite how she fought against it, she could feel her face burning with a blush. Just what had diverted her attention? Daydreaming about a romantic outing with Rainbow Dash that turned into a steamy make-out session? What other images would her mind have concocted if she hadn’t been interrupted by Winona? Rainbow Dash trailing a hoof gently down her stomach. Rainbow Dash’s hot mouth against her neck, kissing lower and lower even as her own…

“Uhhh, Twi? I think you might be droolin’...”

Applejack’s voice cut through yet another Rainbow Dash fantasy, and Twilight was sure her face was so bright by this point that it must look like she was trying to outshine the sun. With a panicked squeak, Twilight quickly wiped away the drool that had collected on her muzzle, before relying on her ultimate defense: teleport someplace safe where she could obsessively freak out in peace.

After watching the alicorn disappear in a flash of purple light, Applejack couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Somepony’s got it real bad, eh Winona?” Applejack asked, looking down at Winona. Winona barked happily, before bounding around Applejack and towards the lake.

Once arriving back in her room at the library, Twilight carefully placed her book on her desk. She hesitated a moment, before doing the same with Rainbow Dash’s, keeping the books near each other, but not close enough that one would assume something from looking at them. One certainly would not look at that pair of books and assume that one of the books was having fantasies about the other. Improper fantasies that would be a total breach of the other book’s trust, and would lead to the other book hating the first book and then the first book would have to leave the library and go back to Canterlot because it would be too awkward to face the other book and all the other book’s shelfmates because they would also hate the first book for thinking such improper thoughts about another book…

So, while the books would in no way be misconstrued as having anything more than a friendly relationship, Twilight was hyperventilating.

She tried the breathing exercise that Cadance had taught her, but in order to keep up with her panicked breaths, her arm was moving back and forth fast enough to sub for DJ PON3 at the DJ’s booth.

What was she thinking? How could she even begin to think of Rainbow Dash in such a light? To imagine her ravishing her in a field, before they’d fly home and wash each other slowly and lovingly, only to get dirty once again before they went to sleep as Twilight began to caress Rainbow Dash’s toned plo-

A sharp pain flashed across Twilight’s face before she realized she had slapped herself. This had the double effect of once again keeping her mind from wandering, but also helping her to calm down from Twicon Panic 2 all the way back down to a normal Twicon Panic 5.

She took in a deep breath and held it, finally exhaling it in the way Cadance had taught her. With the panic temporarily held at bay, Twilight began doing what she did best, rationalizing!

So she had fantasized about Rainbow Dash a little? It wasn’t that big of a deal, Rainbow Dash was an attractive mare, and Twilight wasn’t naive enough to think herself above such thoughts. And with the way Rainbow Dash had been invading her personal space recently, even practically laying on her, it was no wonder Twilight’s mind had began to think of a more… amorous scenario.

And if she was being honest with herself, she did enjoy spending time with Rainbow Dash. There was just something about the pegasus and her draconequus-may-care attitude that Twilight really admired. There was also the fact that Rainbow Dash had a body hotter than the sun! That flank alone, that perfect toned flank that Twilight was pretty sure was the square root of -1, because it couldn’t be real. She shook her head, banishing the thoughts of Rainbow Dash’s posterior, to focus on the issue at hoof.

She was a healthy young mare after all! So there was absolutely no reason for her to go overboard. If nothing else, she’d simply stay away from Rainbow Dash for a couple of days until things were back to normal.

Except, her mind reminded her, that Rainbow Dash would be dropping by in less than an hour to pick up the book she’d left with Twilight.

“SPIIIIIIKE! I NEED ZOMPONY APOCALYPSE FORTIFICATION KIT!”

Spike, who had been nearby watching the spectacle that was a Twicon Panic 2 breakdown, sighed and put down the bag of popcorn he’d been munching on. “That’s the third time this month…” He grumbled as he made his way downstairs.

With one more swing of her magical hammer, Twilight finished her job. The windows and doors had all been completely blocked with simple wood planks held up by nails, obviously enough to keep a horde of flesh hungry Zomponies.

But would it be enough to keep out Ponyville’s premier prismatic prankster?

“Uhh, what’s with the boards Twi?”

The magical hammer Twilight had conjured dissipated into purple sparks, while the startled alicorn leapt into the air. It couldn’t be, there was just no way…

Yet when she turned around, there stood Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.

“H-how did you two get in here?” Twilight squeaked, doing everything she could to not let her eyes wander down the form of her pegasus friend.

“Well, all the ways in were blocked, so I asked Pinkie Pie to help me out.”

“But that’s impossible! How did you get past the blockades?!”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, before her eyes turned thoughtful. “Eh, how did we get in here, Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie shrugged, before pulling out a picture of Golden Oaks Library, complete with its new wooden accessories. “Well ya got me. By all accounts it doesn’t make sense.” With that pearl of wisdom dispensed, Pinkie bounded off towards what was surely a plot thread for an entirely different story.

“Huh, oh well.” Rainbow Dash turned back to face Twilight. “Well anyways, I’m here for my book.”

“Eheheheh, sure thing Rainbow Dash, it’s sitting on the desk in my room. I’m just gonna take these boards down now.”

Rainbow Dash nodded, and trotted up the stairs towards Twilight’s bedroom. Twilight, meanwhile, began to pull the boards off of the windows and doors and store them and the nails back in the Zompony survival kit. She’d have to rethink her defenses soon, since obviously she wouldn’t be safe if Pinkie Pie ever became a zombie.

Though, at that point, Equestria would be doomed anyways, so maybe it didn’t matter?

Before Twilight’s mind could continue down that dark trail, the sound of Rainbow Dash making her way back downstairs reminded her that she had bigger problems than a potential Pinkie zombie emergency. Like the fact that one of her friends was trying to pull some huge prank on her, while Twilight herself was having less than platonic daydreams about said friend.

Rainbow Dash walked over to Twilight, and nudged her shoulder to get her attention. Sighing in her mind, Twilight turned to face her tormentor… and quickly backed herself all the way against the wall after she found herself nose to nose with Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash gave her a confused glance, putting the book she held with her mouth on the ground. “Geeze Twilight, what’s got you so jumpy?”

To anypony else it would have sounded like Rainbow Dash was genuinely concerned about Twilight. To Twilight however, it sounded like Rainbow Dash was goading her. Like Rainbow Dash knew that she was driving Twilight crazy, and was enjoying every second of it.

“What’s got me so jumpy?!” Twilight couldn’t take it anymore. She had been pushed too far, to the point that she felt like she was going to burst. “You! You’ve got me so jumpy! You keep showing up out of nowhere, practically sitting on top of me, and acting like it’s all normal! Then you’ve got me all confused because you’ve been so close to me, and even though I know it’s all part of some stupid prank now I can’t stop thinking about how cute you are when you’re reading or how nice it feels to have you close to me or how sexy your flank looks and how much I want to hear your voice going all husky and breathless after-” Twilight’s eyes widened as she shoved a hoof in her mouth, cutting off her own tirade.

She had said it. She had said too much. Now Rainbow Dash not only knew Twilight was on to her, but also that Twilight had been… ogling her!

It was time for Twicon Panic 1.

Or, it would have been, if it wasn’t for the confused look on Rainbow Dash’s blushing face.

“Prank? When did I pull a prank on you Twilight?”

Twilight groaned, but if Rainbow Dash still wanted to play dumb that was fine. “This whole thing! Using me as a chair and just popping up whenever I’m reading! It’s obviously some kind of prank you’re trying to pull.”

“Errrr…” To Twilight’s surprise, Rainbow Dash looked nervous. Did she think Twilight wouldn’t be able to catch on to her dastardly plan? “That wasn’t really a prank Twilight…”

Oh, so it wasn’t a prank.

“What do you mean it wasn’t a prank?”

“I… oh horseapples.” Rainbow Dash looked like she was ready to bolt, her wings began to fidget and Twilight could swear she saw the pegasus’ knees begin to tremble. “I just… I was talking to Rarity and Fluttershy the other day, and I may have… asked for their help…”

“You asked Rarity and Fluttershy to help prank me?”

“No! No I uhhh…”

This was getting nowhere. Rainbow Dash looked like she was either going to curl into a ball or knock a hole in the wall to get away. Twilight sighed, and despite the conflicting feelings she’d been feeling for the pegasus, laid a hoof reassuringly on her shoulder.

“Rainbow Dash, you don’t need to be nervous. You can tell me anything.”

Rainbow Dash looked at the hoof on her shoulder, then back to Twilight. She swallowed nervously, and nodded her head.

It was really unfortunate that Twilight’s mind chose that moment to start fantasizing again. Rainbow Dash lurched forward, her nervousness making her unusually clumsy as she pressed her muzzle against Twilight’s. Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise at the texture of Rainbow Dash’s lips. They were rougher than her own, but still soft and warm. Rainbow Dash’s eyes were scrunched closed out of nervousness, but Twilight felt her own closing as she leaned into the kiss. It may have been a bit weird to be fantasizing about her first kiss like this, rather than in some grand romantic setting, but it felt amazing.

Actually, that was a problem. How exactly could she feel it? Or smell Rainbow Dash’s fur so intensely. This was all in her mind wasn’t it?

Twilight’s eyes flew open, her mind catching up with reality. She hadn’t been imagining it. Rainbow Dash was kissing her. Rainbow Dash. Kissing. Her.

Panic levels began a steady increase to Twicon 2, before they were hastily beaten down by a new feeling. A feeling that had always been at the back of Twilight’s mind, never able to make itself known. And there was no way in Tartarus that love was going to let panic mess this up.

According to Rarity your first kiss would feel like it lasted for an eternity. To Twilight, the kiss had lasted for approximately 5.26 seconds, with a margin of error of +/- .04 seconds. While the length of the kiss may not have lived up to romanticized expectations, the feelings it invoked certainly did. Twilight had often heard of kisses feeling like magic. As the former bearer of the Element of Magic, she felt like she was a suitable source to concur with such a statement. It felt even better than being wrapped in the magic of harmony. So it was not very surprising that it took Twilight’s brain a few moments to restart once Rainbow Dash had pulled away.

When she finally returned to Equestria, she had expected Rainbow Dash to still be nervous, to be unsure of how Twilight would react to suddenly being kissed.

Instead, Rainbow Dash was staring at her with a grin that would look more at home on a timberwolf.

“So, you think I’ve got a sexy flank huh?” Rainbow turned to the side, giving a pronounced swing of her hips to bring her cutie mark into Twilight’s view.

With Twicon Panic levels currently disabled, Twilight did the only thing she could when faced with such overwhelming embarrassment.

She fainted.

When Twilight came to it took her a second to recollect what had happened. Seeing Rainbow Dash’s smug look had certainly helped to jumpstart her memory. Apparently making Twilight faint had only further empowered Rainbow’s confidence. Still, Twilight could see the nervous remnants in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. The pegasus was waiting for an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked, yet was thick in the air between them. An answer that only Twilight could give, yet she didn’t know what it was.

She needed time. She needed information. Hopefully she could gain both at the same time.

“S-So…” Twilight’s voice came out as a squeak, and she tried to choke down her own anxiety. If she had any hope of making sense of this situation, she needed answers. “You said this wasn’t a prank?”

Rainbow Dash looked a little confused, before she realized what Twilight was talking about. “Oh! You mean the whole being all close to you stuff? No, that wasn’t a prank. Figured that’d be pretty obvious by now.”

“Okay, so I guess I can kind of understand the why, what with… you know…” Twilight blushed as she brought a hoof to her lips, a lingering feeling of Rainbow Dash’s still there. “I guess I’m just kind of confused as to why you went about things like this.”

“Er, that’s kinda a long story…” This time it was Rainbow Dash who was blushing, something that made Twilight feel like warm all over.

Twilight motioned for her to continue, and Rainbow Dash sighed. “Alright. I’ve kind of… I mean you’re… ugh!” Rainbow Dash shook her head in exasperation. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while!” She practically shouted.

The familiar feeling of heat rushing to her face returned. Nopony had ever told Twilight they’d had a crush on her before. It felt… nice.

“I’ve felt this way for a while, like right before you became a princess. When you helped fix that whole cutie mark mixup, I saw all my memories like flash in my mind. And I realized something, recently all my good memories are about you.”

There seemed to be a contest to see who could blush brightest between the unicorn and pegasus. Rainbow Dash’s face was red enough that it seemed to be turning her cyan fur purple. “But then you became a princess, and there was the whole thing with the forest going crazy, then giving up the elements, and I just wasn’t sure if I should even bring it up with everything going on.”

“Then you helped me study for the Wonderbolts Reserves test, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, even though your methods didn’t work out for me, seeing you work so hard for me just made me feel everything all over again. Also, you looked really sexy dressed up as General Fyreflye.”

Twilight tucked a head behind her wing, smiling in embarassment. If Rainbow Dash continued complimenting her like this, she wasn’t sure her blush would ever go away.

“So I figured I needed to do something, but I didn’t know what! So I went to the only pony who I thought would be able to help me with something like this.”

Twilight nodded. “So you went to Rarity.”

“Nah, I went to Fluttershy. But she didn’t really have any advice other than some stuff animals do to attract a mate. When she realized that wasn’t very helpful, she took me to Rarity.”

Rainbow Dash shuddered as she recalled her meeting with the fashionista. “It was horrible Twi! First she kept gushing about how it was so romantic and junk. Then she started trying to design dresses for dates. I finally put my hoof down when she started asking if I thought we’d be having a spring wedding.”

“But eventually she told me that she knew what you considered to be the perfect date. I guess I shoulda known, since it’s you and all, but she told me all you wanted was somepony to cuddle with while reading.”

So Rarity had put the idea into Rainbow Dash’s head. Suddenly things began to make more sense. Rainbow Dash hadn’t been trying to prank her, she had been trying to court her. Still….

“But why didn’t you say anything? I mean, you just showed up all of a sudden and used me like a chair.”

“I… I got a little nervous alright!” Twilight took a step back as Rainbow Dash’s tone got aggressive. “I was just being stupid, and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I was kinda hoping that if I just did what you thought would be a perfect first date, you’d… I dunno, realize that you’ve liked me all along too or something…”

Silence fell between the two ponies. Of course, when they looked away from it, they completely forgot its existence, and continued on with the conversation.

To Twilight, Rainbow Dash had never looked so vulnerable. It had obviously taken a lot for her to open her heart like she had, and to admit to doing something she surely thought was “uncool”.

But the question was, how did Twilight feel about Rainbow Dash? Sure, there was a slight… okay, perhaps a large physical attraction. They were already friends, and they had some similar interests. Was that enough to start a relationship on?

Probably not. The warm feeling in her chest however, when she looked at Rainbow Dash, or how much she enjoyed the thought of cuddling with her for real, that was probably enough.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight began, causing the pegasus to meet her eyes, “I’m not sure…”

Rainbow Dash sighed, and put on a sad smile for her friend. “I-I get it Twi. It was a lot to drop on you all at once. I’ll… I’ll just get outta your mane then.”

She hadn’t even taken a step when Twilight made her move. She quickly sidled up next to Rainbow Dash, nuzzling the surprised mare’s cheek as she spread a wing over her back.

“You didn’t let me finish, Rainbow.” Twilight was smiling now. There was a certain, shall we say, sparkle in her eyes. “I was saying I’m not sure what book we should read first.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened, then a happy grin spread across her face. She quickly calmed herself though, instead giving Twilight a glare that was rendered completely ineffective by her smile. “Ya know I’m gonna get you back for that, right?”

Twilight laughed. “I figured it would be payback for the way you nearly drove me insane the last couple days.”

The thoughtful look Rainbow Dash sported made Twilight giggle even harder. “Fair enough, I suppose.”

A warm fire and a good book, two of the simplest pleasures Twilight Sparkle enjoyed. She had a third to add to that list now; snuggling up next to Rainbow Dash, the pegasus’ wing draped lovingly over her back.

The best part? This time it wasn’t simply a fantasy her mind cooked up.

It had been everything Twilight had thought it would be. Not some grand romantic gesture that shook the world, just simple contentment with a pony she cared for. That wasn’t to say it wasn’t romantic. Twilight could certainly feel her heart racing, especially whenever Rainbow Dash would turn from the book to look at her. She pretended not to notice, but she knew her blush always gave it away. There was no helping it though. When a pony stares at you with eyes that full of emotion, eyes that speak of love and loyalty, it would be impossible not to be affected.

Rainbow Dash leaned further against Twilight, so much so that it took a conscious effort from Twilight to keep them both upright.

“R-Rainbow! Is something wrong?”

“Nah, I just was thinking about something, Twilight…”

Rainbow Dash moved her head, her mouth right next to Twilight’s ear. The puff of Rainbow’s breath caused Twilight’s ear to twitch, and her body to give a delightful shudder.

“...you make a really comfortable cushion.”

Author's Note

Okay, so I saw the picture for the cover art on derpibooru, and I thought of this story and it just would not go away. So I figured I'd do the reasonable thing and write it. Cause Twidash one shots are good for the soul, y'know?

Now, I know that this got a little weird in a couple places. If that ruined the immersion for you, I apologize. I just wrote this mainly as a way to get over the writer's block I've had, so I just wrote it as it came to me..

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!

And about that MDWvPN sequel... I'm working on it!