The search for something not cliche'd.

by Varoid37

It's short, so there's only one chapter.

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Twilight was in bed at 7:49 PM, and it was night outside. Princess Luna had decided to make the stars a lot brighter than usual, in celebration of Pony Wars 7 coming out, the ultimate sci fi story in a lot of pony's opinions. The stars were unbelievably bright, Luna obviously loved the story a lot, and it was making it hard for Twilight to sleep. Twilight said “Ugh, with this much light, it might has well just be day time!”, and closed her shades, then she went to sleep.

Princess Luna loved Pony Wars a lot, it was about space, which you can only see at night time. Princess Luna was unbelievably obsessed with night time, she went so crazy that Celestia had to banish her for a thousand years, and she came back, STILL crazy! It took a blast from the elements of harmony to knock it out of her. But she still loved it so much that it got really annoying. Twilight had to deal with her celebrating for the whole day, not one second went by she wasn't talking about it/drinking out of a cup about the movie, or taking toy light sabres and fighting “Cute piewalker”, AKA, Pinky pie. She used her magic to build Pinky Pie a giant party cannon, the size of mount “GIANT MOUNTAIN SHAPED LIKE DARTH HAY STRAW!”, a mountain Princess Luna had made the previous day in celebration of the movie, so she could turn half of Equestria into a party.

Princess Twilight was glad that she would finally get some peace, she finally got to sleep, she thought “It's not like Princess Luna can invade my dreams, right? Oh, wait...”, she fell asleap and soon found herself at a party, and Princess Luna was there. Princess Luna said “Come, Twilight, join the party! We're going to have punch, play video games, eat...”, but Twilight said “NO!!! I mean, look, with all due respect, Princess, I want to dream about something else.”, but Luna said “Like what?”, and Twilight said “Um, I don't know, you have more experience with this stuff.”, and Princess Luna said “You don't want to have a party? I mixed your friend's dreams with yours, don't you want to have a party with your friends, remember, friendship is...”, and Twilight snapped “I DON'T CARE IF FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC! I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S A PARTY, I'VE BEEN PARTYING 10 HOURS STRAIGHT, AND I WANT A BREAK! I DON'T CARE ABOUT PONY WARS, IT'S THE SAME PLOT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! A SITH LORD, OR SHOULD I SAY, SITH REALLY REALLY BORED, TRIES TO KILL PONIES FOR NO APPERENT REASON, AND THEY HAVE TO FIGHT JEDI STALLIONS OR SOMETHING! IT'S GETTING OLD! AND I'M REALLY BORED WITH ALL THESE STUPID CLICHES!”, that last line stuck in her mind for some reason, she wondered “Wait, why is that line so special?”

Princess Luna said “I see... I'm sorry Twilight, I have been a bother lately, haven't I?”, and Twilight said “Look, the party was fun in the beginning, but it's been going on a LONG time, can't you just celebrate again when the next Pony Wars movie comes out?”, and Princess Luna said “Maybe you're right. By the way, it's already morning.”, and Twilight woke up. Twilight got up and walked over to open her window. When she opened it, she saw it was day time, and she thought “Phew.”, and walked downstairs to talk to Spike. Spike said “That was some cool dream party, right Twilight? Pinky Pie took fire works and destroyed a galaxy!”, and Twilight said “I wasn't really involved... Say, Spike, do you think things are cliche'd?”, and Spike said “What do you mean?”, and Twilight said “Well, I've been thinking... Everything's the same thing over and over again, there are probably about a million stories about space, a million cartoons that are just about hitting, a million commercials about pony cerial with some good health affect... Not to mention more complex cliche's, like aliens in movies almost ALWAYS having weapons that make cliche'd explosion sizes, with their only advantages being the size of their ships, their warp drive, and their shields, and some special technology we don't have that doesn't revolve around making the biggest possible explosion, but the explosions HAVE to be the same sizes compared to their targets! No matter what! Even when the death star fired on a ship, it didn't make a planet sized explosion!”

Spike said “You're over thinking this, Twilight.”, but twilight said “On my way down here, I used my magic to find cliche's, there's a popular video about what sounds animals make, FOR FULLY GROWN PONIES, and another one about what day it is... I call the singers the death stars... They're stars, that kill all creativity!”

Twilight pulled out a magical screen, with a video of one of these songs next to a picture of a planet, and the planet exploded. “The technology in sci fi is really uncreative, did you know, in one of the newer Pony Trek movies, a pony's parachute BROKE. A 23rd century parachute, and it BROKE!”, Twilight pulled out a video of a pony catching another pony falling through the sky, opening a parachute, and it breaking, then saying “Stupid made on Romulus parachutes!”, and Spike said “Look, Twilight, calm down! I know, Luna's partying has gotten to you, just calm down!”, and Twilight said “Maybe you're right.”

Then she went outside and saw Pinky Pie in a star ship float with wheels, party cannons firing out the side of it, blasting people. Twilight then said “Okay, Twilight, calm down...”, but then Pinky blasted her with one of them, knocking her back into her treehouse, and that was the last straw. She teleported outside, and teleported everyone out of the ship, and then used her magic to throw it into the lake, then she fired a magical exclamation point at it, and it popped like a balloon. Then she looked at Pinky Pie and said “STOP-PARTYING-RIGHT-NOW!”, but Pinky said “STOP PARTY!”, and Twilight said “Thank you.”, but then she realized the cliche'd thing to happen would be if it was too good to be true, she didn't quite know what was gonna happen, but she knew something would.

All of the sudden, Pinky Pie pulled out a stop sign and said “Everyone! Stop sign party! Pin the tail on the stop sign! Dance with stop signs! And guess what's on the cups we're using for punch?”, and Twilight said “I'M GUESSING A STOP SIGN! WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE A STOP SIGN THE PRINCESS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?!”, and Pinky Pie said “Great idea! Hey everyone! Stop sign costume party!”, and Twilight ran away, back into her house.

Later, Twilight had gone completely crazy, they were STILL partying, at 4 PM. What was so great about Pony wars anyway? It had epic fights and stuff, but so do a lot of other things. Then she had a depressing thought... “What's so great about ANYTHING? What if ponies have figured out every single idea they'll ever come up with? And from now on, every single idea will just be the same thing, just in a different order?”, but she then thought “No, that can't be! I'll show everypony!”

Applejack was running after Rainbow dash, screaming “Get back here with that doll!”, when they came over a hill and saw a massive star ship. Rainbow dash said “Woah, cool, aliens!”, but then Applejack said “Um, I don't think there's aliens involved, look, Twilight's at the door.”, then they ran over to greet her. Twilight said, eyes twitching “I got tired of everything being the same, so I'm taking this armed to the teeth, creatively armed starship. I've armed it with warp drive projectile weapons, nuclear weapons, and I've set the transporter systems to beam atoms apart and cause nuclear explosions too!”, and Applejack said “Um, isn't that a bit dangerous, Twilight?”, and Twilight said “Yep!”, and climbed inside. Applejack tried to open the door, but couldn't. Then Twilight took the starship into orbit, and started looking for a meteor. She found one, and said “Let's see if this works!”, and fired a warp powered, super dense bullet she had made with her magic at it, trying to blow it up with has big of an explosion has she could make. But all of the sudden, a star ship with Princess Luna in it warped in front of it, and instead of making an explosion, the warp torpedo just vaporized or something against the shields. Princess Luna said “Hey Twilight, I thought you didn't like Pony wars!”, and Twilight said “GET OUT OF THE WAY!”, and tried to use the transporter system to beam to beam the atoms in the asteroid into a nuclear explosion, but Princess Luna's shield frequency messed it up. Then she tried to fire a nuclear bomb at it, and have it just go around Luna, but then all the weapons in her ship, and outside (Including the missile she just fired) vanished.

Celestia came from behind Princess Luna and said “Look, I'm very concerned about you, what you're doing is very dangerous! I've gotten rid of your weapons, transporter systems, and everything. You are to return with me to ponyville.”, and Twilight said “Oh, the whole 'I'm concerned about you' cliché!”, and all of the sudden, Celestia used the elements of harmony to send Twilight back to Earth, turn off her magic, and lock her in a mental hospital, with a suit on to stop her from hurting anyone.

After they got back to Earth, they gathered in front of the door to the padded room Twilight was in, her squirming around and screaming things like “I'LL NEVER STOP! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER!”, and Celestia and the rest of them were talking, Celestia in front of the door. Spike said “Will she be all right?”, and Rarity said “I do not like the living conditions here one bit.”, and Fluttershy said “Won't she be scared, locked up in there when it gets dark? What if she gets sad?”, and Applejack said “Then she shouldn't of tried to be creative, I mean blow up everything.”, and Celestia said “I'm probably going to have to send her to the moon for a few thousand years... Probably less boring than here, at least you get to see the stars directly on the moon. And remember, every pony, there's an important message to be learned here, it's important to be yourself, but you have to listen to the ponies around you.”, and Twilight screamed “Oh so help me if I hear one more cliché, ONE MORE CLICHE, I'm going to-”, and Spike wrote down what Celestia said, and sent it to her, then said “Oh, wait, you just said that, nevermind.”


Author's Note

Not particularly thrilled about posting this after the rating the last one got, but whatever.