Pinkie Gets Anon Hate

by askshadowthepikachu

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1069

All is going well for Pinkie on Tumblr, before the 'Anons' strike. How will Pinkie cope with these 'Horrible-super-dooper-absolutely-meanie-cakes!'?

Pinkie Pie, or Pinkamena Diane Pie, is checking her Tumblr account, 'parties-and-candy' when suddenly a strange race of ponies known as 'Anons' send some rather rude messages to her.

The Element of Laughter soon becomes the Element of Hatred.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
My first attempt at writing a close-to-show-canon Pinkie Pie.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Very, very, stupid story I made in my free time. Don't take seriously.

Published 2014-06-08 23:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-08 23:40:02 UTC

Pinkie Gets Anon Hate

“Dammit!” Pinkie Pie growled with anger, her mane deflated and running down her neck like fresh blood.

“Who are these ponies?! I NEED TO KNOW!” She cried as she smashed her hoof against her desk, creating a small crack in its wooden top.

Pinkie sighed to herself, and pressed her hooves against her forehead.
“Okay Pinkie.....play it cool....It’s just some stupid ponies trying to get to you....” Pinkie’s eyes shot open as she began to think of new things.
“Wait....What if they aren’t ponies? They could be Griffons, Manticores, Zebras....” Pinkie gasped out loud.

“Maybe it’s Changelings! Yeah! Those meanie bugs thinking they can upset Pinkie! I’m the Element of Laughter! Nopony can beat my smile!” Pinkie shouted as she opened her jaw and showed off her smile, only for the camera-man to go blind in one eye thanks to its white-ness.

Pinkie Pie looked back to her laptop, looking at her inbox on Tumblr. As you would have guessed, she wasn’t happy. Ponies known as ‘Anons’ has been sending ‘meanie’ messages to her. (As Pinkie calls them.)

Quite a few of them had been had been quite silly. Pinkie even giggled when she got a message that said she was ‘A stuped lettel pone.’
‘Silly Anon!’ She thought to herself. ‘Pone isn’t an animal!’

Pinkie Pie had a Tumblr account called ‘parties-and-candy’ that she created a few years back to socialize with her distant friends and family. It helped when she wanted to talk to Maud, who usually didn’t get to see her.

Maud’s Tumblr was called ‘rocks-rock’ and it was filled to the brim with rocks.
Rocks for wallpaper, rocks in her posts, even rocks in her avatar! But this was Maud we’re talking about, what did we expect?

Pinkie and her sister were Tumblr-famous. They had millions of followers, most of them called ‘Bronies’ a weird type of ‘human’ that liked ‘My Little Pony’. Pinkie didn’t know what half of the words they said meant like ‘Twilicorn’, ‘Pegasister’ and ‘Albino Pie.’
Pinkie didn’t know pies could be albinos!
Maybe one day she could bake one.
However, focusing on the matter at hoof, Pinkie was feeling downright glum.
Not to mention angry. After her 3 and a half years on Tumblr, she had never gotten such....horrible words said to her.
Apart from the Anons with bad grammar, some of the messages were really depressing.

“Wait a second!” Pinkie thought out loud, her hair poofing up yet again, as if someone had pumped helium into it.
“If there is anyone who can deal with this sort of stuff in my family, it’s defiantly Maud!” She shot up, bouncing out of her chair.
She grabbed a small mobile phone out of her poofy mane, and started typing in Maud’s number.
“Hmmm.....what was her number again?” She asked, scratching her muzzle. “Oh, wait! Now I remember!”
Pinkie quickly typed in Maud’s number, having to restart a few times thanks to her messing up.
Finally, she managed to type in her number.
“Hello?” A cold, stone-like voice replied at the other end.
“Maud! It’s me, Pinkie! I need some of your super-ultra-awesome-life-tips!”
Maud, on the other side of the line, made an audible sigh and lifted up a small list of life tips her parents had given to her when she was a filly.
“Which one?” She groaned. Not in a annoyed way, she just always had that tone to her voice.
“That one were you have to deal with meanies!” Pinkie told her.
“Pinkie, it says bullies, not me-“
“Just please! Read it out pleeeease!” Pinkie cried, showing off her puppy dog eyes, despite the fact Maud couldn’t see them.

Maud sighed, before she slowly read the page.
“Life Tip Number 138...” She began.
“The internet is a scary place. Lots of ponies may seem nice, but there are always the bad ones.” She drabbed on, not even raising an eyebrow.
“The main rule to deal with these ponies is to ignore them. Don’t let them effect you.” Maud continued, Pinkie eagerly listening.
“If you answer them, you will just be filling that empty hole of evil in their hearts.” Maud said.
“Simply delete it, and do something else, don’t think about.” Maud ended, as she got to the bottom of the page.
Pinkie heard Maud close the book on the other end of the line.
“Sooo......” Pinkie scratched her fuzzy hair.
“I delete it....Then I do something else?”
“Ye-“
“OH! Maybe I could throw a party for my friends!” She squeaked.
“Pinki-“
“Oooor....I could go ask Discord to magic me up some chocolate rain....” She thought.
A small cough came from the other side of the line. “Oh, sorry!” Pinkie giggled. “I got reeeeally caught up in some super-duper awesome stuff I could do!”
“Alright, Pinkie, I need to go now. Marble and Limestone need more help harvesting the rocks. Just follow the lines from the book, and you’ll do the right thing.” She grunted.
“Oki-doki-Loki!” Pinkie chimed, grinning from ear to ear.
“Okay, bye Pinkie.” Maud said at low volume as she switched off the phone.

Pinkie Pie was now sitting back at her desk, her mouse spinning around on hoof.
“Hmmm..... Wait, what did Maud say again?” Pinkie’s eyes opened wide. “Oh no! I completely forgot!” Pinkie’s mind started searching every detail she heard from the phone call, but the only thing she could remember was Maud Pie talking about Limestone and Marble.
“Wasn’t it reply to it, and make a big deal about it? Or was it delete your account?” Pinkie banged her head against the desk, creating a small bruise on her muzzle.
Pinkie’s face turned into a small, disappointed frown as she stared at her computer screen.
She tugged at her mane and drew tiny balloons on her smashed desk. Why did she have to make that hole in it? Sure, she was angry, but that’s not reason to do it. Maybe she felt like ‘rage quitters’ felt like, which is a term the humans used.

Pinkie finally pulled herself together and decided to make her decision. She knew the Anon was staring at her behind his glasses, waiting for her to make her move.

She made that move.

Author's Note

Yes, that cliff-hanger was necessary. I'm sorry.
Also, this is a story I made in my free time.
Not my best story, but hope you enjoy.