Solace

by ViTheDeer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4600

Twilight has had trouble sleeping. Perhaps it was the change in surroundings after her old home was destroyed. Or perhaps something deeper is troubling her. As she wanders the midnight streets, a fellow traveler may grant her the solace she seeks.

Twilight Sparkle wasn't a pony who adapted to change easily. Was that the reason that, now that her home had been destroyed, she was having trouble sleeping? Was it the hard, unfamiliar bed? The harsh shadows of the castle walls?
Or was it something deeper? Something darker?
As she wanders through the moonlit streets of Ponyville, Twilight is paid a visit by another troubled soul. Perhaps together they can find some solace in the aftermath.

Art commissioned by the lovely and talented Northern Cross. Find more of her work here.
Editing service provided by Imperial Bedlam, to whom I am eternally grateful.
Special thanks to Jack and Lynn Keefe for prereading.

Ta-dah! No more shipping! Should never have included it in the first place, to be honest.

Published 2014-06-10 16:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-10 16:10:04 UTC

Solace in Moonlight

Twilight jerked awake, her eyes flying open in the darkness of the room.

Darkness enveloped her as she clutched the blankets to her chest. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, and a few more for her to realize why she didn't see the warm wooden walls of the library once they did. Instead of organic curves, angles and hard edges filled her view. Twilight sighed — it had already been almost a week since she moved in, and she still didn't recognize a single corner, shadow, or nook. The pale moon shone in through a single crystalline window, but it did little to illuminate the harsh, dark chamber.

Twilight's wings folded close to her body as she rolled onto her side. Those, at least, she had grown a little accustomed to, even so they did little to take away from the strangeness of her surroundings. She wished for even the slightest comfort of her own cushion and pillows, but even those had been denied her.

The Castle differed as much from the Library as Ponyville did from The Crystal Empire, and in many of the same ways. The resemblance to the old oak tree she had called home for the past few years was superficial at best and did not extend to the hallways and chambers inside. Those were all stone and glass, no trace of anything organic or alive.

The discomfort Twilight felt wasn't due to the bed itself. On the contrary, she hadn't lain on a bed this soft since she last visited Canterlot. The castle was luxurious in the extreme, despite its harsh and jagged appearance.

But as plush as the bed was, Twilight just couldn't bring herself to consider it her bed. She missed the one she had fled to during her first night in Ponyville, when Pinkie threw her that impromptu party — the first of many. The one that had been nearly destroyed by a falling tree during her first slumber party. It was staggering how many of her memories centered around the humble collection of springs and feathers, more than she could have imagined before it was destroyed.

Twilight stared at the ceiling. The shadows made shapes of monsters and demons, before vanishing as her imagination searched for new patterns. A trick of the light, she knew, but that didn't stop the cold lump at the pit of her stomach from growing. A part of her tried to analyze the refracted light to try and glean new insights of the construction of the various crystals that made up her room. That part tried to push away the other part, the one that ran to her brother's room to sleep with him when the shadows on the wall used to leer at her at night.

As a filly, she never would have suspected that the monsters were real, and much more terrifying than she could ever have imagined. Nor that she would stand as Equestria's only defense against them, not just once, but several times over. She almost felt silly for huddling under Shining's covers as he read her a story by candlelight. Right now, she almost wished she was there with him again.

She sighed again. It was clear that sleep was — once again — going to elude her tonight. Twilight couldn't remember the last time she had had a good night's sleep. At least, not since moving into the castle. Ever since losing her warm, soft bed at the library.

It wasn't really the bed she missed, she knew. Well, not just the bed. She missed the smell of books in the evening, the feel of the old wood under her hooves, the tap-tap-tapping of woodpeckers looking for a meal waking her in the morning. She had grown accustomed to living in the tree, all the pleasures as well as the minor annoyances that came with it. And now it was gone. Ponyville had lost an icon. She herself had lost her home. And, she feared, so much more.

Twilight rolled out of bed, her hooves clip-clopping as they landed on the cold stone floor. She trotted to her nightstand, opening a drawer and pulling out a woolen shawl, which she threw over her shoulders. As she closed it, she noticed the framed picture resting on top of the dresser. It was one of the few possessions she had been able to salvage from the wreckage of the old library. In it, she and her six closest friends stood, huddled together and smiling for the camera. It was one of the few of her possessions she was able to salvage from the wreckage of the library. The fire had blackened the edges slightly, and shattered the frame beyond all repair, but the photo was still mostly intact. To Twilight, it served as another reminder of how much had changed over the past few months.

She pulled the shawl close with her magic and moved to the window. Resting her forelegs on the sill, she stared up at the pale moon as it shimmered high overhead.

Even the face of the moon had changed from the one Twilight knew as a foal. Had she looked out Shining's window back then, she would have seen the Mare in the Moon looking down on her. It seemed so natural, so right for that form to darken the moon's face in her youth. After she defeated Nightmare Moon, she thought she would never grow used to the nearly featureless orb, pockmarked with only a few craters and mountain ranges, that brightened the nights to come. Now, the sight felt natural, comforting, as though it had always been this way. She supposed the moon had been around longer than Nightmare Moon had been trapped in it, and would be around for much longer still.

Amazing, isn't it, she mused to herself, how quickly a pony can adjust to changes, and how soon it feels like nothing ever changed in the first place.

Deep inside, she knew that this, too, would happen eventually for her new surroundings. The room which seemed so foreign to her now would eventually — and probably more quickly than she could ever expect — become her home. Slowly, day by day, she would add her little touches and flourishes to this room, to the living spaces, to the entire castle. And certainly, some day, she would stop feeling like a mere guest in her own home.

As she stared out the window, her gaze drifted to the rooftops of the houses that made up Ponyville. They lay sleepily under the night sky, not a single light illuminating a window or soul on the streets.

Try though she might to avoid it, her eyes couldn't help but land on the void among the houses, the gap where something should have stood that was now no longer.

Twilight felt the world materialize around her. It only took her a heartbeat to realize her teleportation had worked perfectly once again. She felt the grain of the wood beneath her hooves, the same as she had felt a dozen times or more before, when she would stand on her balcony late at night, stargazing.

Home. Safe. For now. Tirek wasn't far away. In fact, she could probably see him through the telescope if she looked.

She quickly gripped the eyepiece. Would he know where she had teleported to? Would he guess? Maybe he could sense her magic much like Discord could. She looked through the glass.

Sure enough, Tirek was standing just where she had left him, a short distance outside of Ponyville. His attention still seemed to be directed elsewhere. Good.

Then he turned, and looked at her..

It was almost as though he could see her through the lens.

Fear gripped Twilight's body. The sphere of magic between Tirek's horns grew in size. Then it suddenly exploded, rushing towards her.

She pushed the fear down, and ripped herself away from the eyepiece. Time seemed to slow for her as her mind kicked into high gear. She watched as her mind's eye played out what was going to happen next.

Even in her panic, she found herself making a mental checklist.

Number one: Run in to the library.

Number two: Grab whatever valuables you can find.

Number three: Get. Out.

Time sped up up again. Twilight acted.

She dashed down the stairs.

The bedroom.

She scanned the walls and floor. No Spike. Good. Nothing here. Down.

She ran down into the the main hall.

Books. So many books. Which to save?

No time. She ran to the nearest shelf.

Suddenly, she heard a sound.

Feathers, rustling. A confused, feeble "Hoo?".

Owlowlicious. How could she have forgotten?

No time. Grab Owlowlicious. Spread wings. Door gone — destroyed earlier, she remembered.

Out. Out. Ou—

Her ears rang as the sound of an explosion momentarily deafened her. She felt the heat of the fireball on her cheek and on her flank. She was in the air, but she had lost control of her trajectory. Her wings weren't catching the air. She fell. She rolled, holding Owlowlicious and breaking his fall.

Silence.

Then ashes and wreckage.

Somehow Twilight found herself on the streets of Ponyville. She could barely remember having left her room, let alone the castle. Yet here she was, strolling down the abandoned alleys and thoroughfares of Ponyville, aimless and without destination.

Or at least, so she thought. Her hooves seemed to have their own intention, dragging her steadily towards that void she had spied from her window.

Yellow and black tape surrounded the husk of the old oak tree. The debris and and detritus that had littered the square had since been cleared up, as part of the reconstruction efforts that all of Equestria had been undertaking.

The battle hit Ponyville hard, Twilight knew, but there were other places which had suffered worse destruction. She thought about Cloudsdale — how the pegasus magic that held the buildings and streets and homes together had been drained from it. How the once proud spires had already begun to drift into the cirrus clouds, losing their form and structure.

She thought of Canterlot, where her brother was powerless to stop the towers and skybridges from crumbling around him.

She thought of the Everfree Forest. There had been no efforts to repair the damage there. The forest would rebuild itself — it always had, after all.

Considering all the destruction and devastation Tirek had wrought, her library seemed like just another insignificant casualty.

Ponyville's citizens had rushed to clear the debris. Twilight had wanted to tell them to stop, to focus their efforts elsewhere. After all, fortune had already seen fit to grant her a new home. Hundreds, if not thousands, of ponies throughout Equestria weren't so lucky.

But she didn't stop them. Even now, she wasn't entirely sure why not.

Was it because of her new role as a princess? Did she not want to deter her subjects' desires to honor her?

It was the only way. She knew it was. She felt nervous, but determined not to let the Princesses down.

She watched as the three princesses closed their eyes and inclined their heads. She tried not to look into their faces as their horns began to glow with a fierce intensity.

Tried, and failed.

It horrified her to see the pain on Celestia's face. She could see her former mentor's magic flowing down her horn, leaving her, draining her of all power and vitality.

Twilight felt her own horn spark, twitch. Luna's magic joined it, and then Cadance's. The air around her was electric. Twilight looked up, seeing a sphere of magic forming in the air, dwarfing her in its expanse.

She tried to forget the way her teacher and leader had looked. Looked so helpless. So weak.

So afraid

A soft sound, like the rustling of leaves, announced the other pony's arrival. Twilight's gaze remained fixed on the black jutting fragments of wood that lay before her. She didn't turn to look to identify the newcomer. She didn't have to.

"Princess Twilight." A voice, soft, deep, like the shadows the moon cast all around them. "It is not often that I observe you admiring my splendid night. I wish I could trust that to be a cause to rejoice."

"Princess Luna." Twilight meant to make an effort to bow to her elder, but her body's weariness and her own dark mood stifled the attempt. The result was a slight bow of the head, nothing more. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the deep blue head of her companion make the same movement.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, merely staring at the remains of the library. Twilight felt an awkwardness at the pause growing in the back of her mind, but she hadn't the energy to react to it.

Finally, it was Luna who broke the silence. "It can be rebuilt, if that is what you desire. It is only wood and nails, nothing more. With time, even every last book may be replaced."

Twilight felt her eyes grow hot. She swallowed a lump in her throat, but couldn't find a word to say.

Luna did not continue on this line of conversation. The night seemed to wrap around the two figures, as though a blanket of stars had settled around them. The sounds of the night creatures subsided, and the two princesses sat alone.

Twilight finally broke the silence.

"I could have lost."

Luna tilted her head, ever so slightly.

"I didn't know what was in that locked box. I didn't know if it was something that could defeat Tirek, or if there was even anything inside it at all. I took a gamble. I could have been wrong."

"The endless space of possibilities does not change the outcome, Princess Twilight. Defeat him you did, and you saved Equestria, and the princesses, in the process."

"That's not the point. The point was... I didn't know. I had all the magic left in Equestria, and I gave it up. On a hunch. On a guess. I just got lucky that it paid off."

"Princess Twilight..." Luna began, then trailed off. She shifted uneasily, eyes downcast.

"What if it hadn't been enough? What if letting my friends go hadn't been the Key. What if the box contained nothing powerful enough to defeat Tirek? What if it had held nothing at all?"

Luna sighed. "Then you would have discovered another way. You are the most intelligent pony I have—"

"No!" Twilight stomped her hoof. "We would have lost. You would still be in Tartarus. Equestria would be in ruins. And we." she punctuated each word with another stomp. "Would. Have. Lost."

Once again, Luna shifted, her mouth silently working.

Twilight found that her wings had flared out. She tucked them to her side again. She felt her cheeks begin to grow warmer. "Celestia trusted me with her magic. All of you did. And I let her down. We won, but I let her down."

"Twilight, there are a great many things in this wold I am unsure, but my sister is not one of them. You most assuredly did not 'let her down'. I do not believe she could be prouder of her young student."

Twilight shook her head, turning away from the Princess of the Night. "You don't know. You weren't there."

"Enough! I want an answer, and I want it now!"

Twilight glared. Options running through her head. Her friends were suspended in midair behind Tirek's massive form. They were right there. She could hear their cries, practically feel their terror..

She did not care. She could not care. It was five of them or all of Equestria. It was an easy choice to make.

Tirek was wrong. They were not at an impasse. Twilight was fast. Twilight was clever. She knew it was only a matter of time until Tirek slipped up, left an opening. And then she would defeat him.

She had the magic of four alicorn princesses running through her veins. How could she lose? Not even all the magic in Equestria could stand up to her. Not all the magic in Equestria would.

Tirek lurked over her, five stories tall, massive and intimidating. Yet she could see he was weak. Weak like her friends were weak. Stupid like Discord was stupid. She would defeat him, and she would take his power, and then she would be the most powerful being in Equestria.

Twilight shook her head.

What had she been thinking? Her friends needed her. She couldn't just give up on them.

Give up on them...

Give up...

A memory bubbled to the surface of her brain.

Slowly, Twilight began to form a plan.

Twilight reached up to her cheek. She felt a wetness against her hoof. Glancing up, she saw Luna looking her in the eye. Her eyes were deep pools of darkness, but Twilight felt her inner turmoil calmed somewhat as she gazed into them. Luna reached out to put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder, and Twilight found herself pulling away.

"Twilight, do not think that I, too, have not felt the sway of absolute power." Luna cast her eyes toward the proffered hoof, still held out towards Twilight. "You are a stronger pony than I am, Twilight. Its pull was not one that I could resist, as you were able to. Do not feel shame for that."

Twilight suddenly rose to all four hooves. Her wings had flared out again as she glared at the Princess. "No shame? Do you even know how close I came?"

The sphere of magic came crashing down on her, around her, and Twilight was caught up like a toy boat in a crashing ocean of waves. The amount of power threatened to overwhelm her, to swallow her up. She resisted. She fought against the the ocean, resisting it, shaping it into a narrow stream. She channeled it and stored it in every cell of her body. She was on fire, her insides burning. She ignored it. There was still a massive amount of magic floating above her. She wasn't sure how she would absorb it all. She braced herself, and took on more.

The world around her grew fuzzy and indistinct. The palace walls became immaterial and drifted away. Her vision consisted of nothing but the swirling, intolerably bright ball of magic that floated above her. She looked down, and saw the princesses. They stood in stark relief to the rest of the world. She watched as the energy drained from their bodies, their eyes grew weak and pale, their cutie marks fading away.

Celestia looked so small. So fragile. So helpless.

So pathetic.

Celestia was weak, Twilight could see that now. She couldn't believe there was a time where she looked up to her. How many times had Twilight saved Equestria from utter devastation by now? Three? Four? In that same time, how often could the same be said of Celestia? None. In fact, how many times had Celestia sent Twilight to do her dirty work instead?

No. She would no longer be her princesses' plaything. Equestria didn't deserve a princess like Celestia. Equestria deserved a queen. And if she, Twilight, would have to defeat — or, perhaps, join — Tirek to become that queen, then it was her duty, her right, to do so.

It would just take the slightest gesture, the tiniest flex of her magic, and Celestia would be cast aside like a children's doll. Luna and Cadance would barely require an effort to defeat after that, and then Equestria would have its queen.

Twilight shivered. The light touch of feathers on her back made her hair stand at end, and sent a chill down her spine. It took her a moment to realize the feathers were not her own. She looked up, and saw Luna gazing down at her. The warm forelegs wrapped around her dispelled the night cold. Much better than the shawl, which Twilight realized had slipped from her shoulders at some point in the conversation. It now lay on the ground, another piece of detritus to add to the wreckage of her home.

Twilight rested her cheek against Luna's shoulder. She was only somewhat surprised to find it already damp with her tears.

"I don't deserve to be a princess. I don't deserve any of this." Twilight swallowed. "I deserve to have my magic taken away from me, taken away forever. I don't deserve my wings, or my crown, or my castle. What I deserve is right here in front of me."

"I think you perhaps meant your library?" The sound was softer than a night bird as it wafted into Twilight's ear.

She blinked, then looked up again at Luna's face. She hadn't realized when sh said those words, but what was in front of her was none other than the Princess of the Night. Her cheeks began to grow warm again.

A glass-clad hoof brushed her mane. Twilight reflected on the way her brother used to stroke her mane in much the same way when the monsters kept her from sleep. Tension began to drain from her muscles, tension Twilight wasn't even aware had been building up.

"Might that be your confession, Princess Twilight?" It was barely a whisper, more like a summer breeze. "Is that why you permitted Tirek to absorb your magic? Because you were frightened of what you might do if you were allowed to keep it?"

The cold lump in Twilight's chest returned. She shivered, and the legs and wings holding her wrapped tighter.

Shame rose inside of Twilight, a shame that had hidden deep inside her since the battle. Shame that Twilight had not been able to put a name to.

Luna was right.

And then, Twilight cried. Unashamed, she let the tears flow down her cheeks, her shoulders shuddering underneath Luna's warm hooves.

And then she had no more tears to cry. She dried her eyes with her hooves, and found herself once again falling into the dark pools of Luna's eyes.

Twilight's vision began to grow clearer as she held Luna's gaze. Another long moment passed before Luna spoke, breaking the silence.

"Once upon a time, there was a young princess who tasted power. She was bold, impetuous, and unwilling to listen to the advice of her elders. Her arrogance cost her her freedom and, above that, her sister.

"That princess tasted only a fraction of the power that you possessed, but that proved more than enough. That princess would not be standing here now, if it had not been for a certain unicorn who had had the audacity to stand against her."

The barest of touches registered on Twilight's cheek. A breath against her fur, the slightest pressure of a soft muzzle, and Twilight's tears seemed to evaporate. Twilight breathed in deep at the nuzzle. The scent of the princess' breath on her neck was that of a summer field after a warm, nighttime rainfall. She breathed it in, letting the warmth spread through her body. The Princess of the Night continued.

"Let me tell you what I saw."

Who was this insignificant foal? How could she possibly think to defeat me, the great Nightmare Moon? Empress of the Night and Ruler of the Blackness? And with what? Ancient rocks?

If the unicorn sought the Elements of Harmony, then she was terribly mistaken. She laughed at the unicorn's attempt to use these, mere stone monuments to the Elements' former glory, as though they were some kind of weapon.

No, if the Elements still existed, they were surely lost to time. She knew they stood no chance, nothing could stop her. Not even the vile Celestia was able to resist her returning to claim what was rightfully hers.

And if she could defeat Celestia with barely an effort, what chance did this little unicorn stand?

She couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. She watched the unicorn rise once again to her hooves. She would allow the unicorn one last token of resistance before she extinguished that light once and for all.

Oh yes. This should be fun.

"You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that?" The unicorn was plucky, she'd give her that. She would allow her to entertain her with a few more words. They would surely be her last, after all.

"Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here!"

Suddenly, the ground beneath her hooves began to shudder. Rays of light burst through the ground and wrapped themselves around the six ponies who stood before her. Their skins glowed, and their bodies began to rise into the air. Golden ornaments appeared around their necks and on the unicorn's head. A bright flash blinded her. She took a step back. Shapes danced before her eyes She could hear the unicorn's voice, clear and strong despite the roar of the wind and the thrumming of the magic

The unicorn spoke of her friends, and as she spoke the shapes coalesced into scenes that played out in front of her.

She saw the yellow pegasus as she displayed kindness to the Manticore. As if overlaid on that image, she saw Celestia, lying next to her in her bed in the castle, promising to stay awake to watch for the monsters while Luna slept.

The orange earth pony told the unicorn to trust her as she fell into the waiting limbs of her pegasus friends. Celestia, telling her that they had to rule Equestria alone now, that their parents would not be returning.

The blue pegasus turning away from her dreams to return to her friends. Celestia, throwing herself in the way of an oncoming lance that would have certainly killed Luna.

The white unicorn, sacrificing her most prized possession for a beast she had only just met. Celestia, as she gave her the gift of the Moon for her hundredth birthday.

The Pink earth pony, as she giggled and chuckled and caused the illusions to disappear. Celestia and Luna laughing for hours and hours at jokes only they understood.

Luna realized all at once what a fool she had been. All the power in the world meant nothing to her. She could have ruled Equestria alone, but that's just what she would have been. Alone.

All alone.

Lonely.

Tia... I missed you so much...

Twilight listened to the princess' words, caught up in her story. They lay there, together, intertwined, lending each other the heat of each other's bodies.

"Twilight. You would never have become what I became, because you will never forget that which I had forgotten.

"I had forgotten that friendship — that love — is more powerful than any magic or force in this world."

Twilight could feel her eyes growing heavy.

"You sacrificed that which you had no choice but to in order to defeat Tirek. It was neither fear, nor frailty, which drove you to make this sacrifice. It was love. And that, my dear Twilight, is why Tirek could not have defeated you. It does not matter what had happened, no foe in this world or any other could ever defeat the magic of friendship."

Twilight made to reply, but all that emerged was a soft yawn.

And then, huddled beneath Luna's wings, under a blanket of stars, Twilight slept.