Generic Shipping Scenes

by TimbukTurnip

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Zecora, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Fluttershy
Length: 2963

How many times have you seen this?

A couple of parodies of a few common shipping storylines and clichés.

Published 2012-04-07 04:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-27 22:38:44 UTC

Scene 005

Fluttershy paced back and forth continuously, the concerned stares of her animal friends unnoticed as she looked at the floor.

“Oh, what’s taking her so long?” she asked to no one in particular, “I asked her to come over several hours ago! I told her I had something very important I needed to say, but she still isn’t here!”

Filled with despair, the yellow pegasus began to sob for what must’ve been the zillionth time since she realised she was in love with Rainbow Dash. Whenever she began to think negative thoughts – how badly Rainbow might react when she revealed how she felt, how she had many opportunities to tell Rainbow how she felt in the past but had always chickened out, how sometimes it seemed that Rainbow would rather hang out with one of their friends instead of her, her oldest friend – she would begin to bawl her eyes out like there was no tomorrow, much to the annoyance of her animal friends; at first they shared sympathy for her, but the seemingly perpetual crying had quickly become an irritation to all of them. Still, they reluctantly comforted her, praying to the princesses that Equestria’s fastest flier would hurry up and get there soon.

Their prayers were quickly answered as a knock was heard at the door, startling Fluttershy and causing her to gasp. Swiftly recovering, she immediately wiped away her tears and tidied her mane before heading over to the door. Taking a deep breath, she opened it, revealing the target of her affection standing on the other side of the door’s threshold. That gorgeous sky-blue coat, those powerful wings, the beautiful magenta eyes…

“Hey Fluttershy, you needed to tell me something?”

The yellow pony’s heart skipped a beat as she realised she was being talked to. “Oh, um… hi Dash, p-please come in...”

Entering the cottage, Rainbow walked into the centre of the living room before turning around to look at Fluttershy expectantly. Her expression quickly changed to one of concern however, as she noticed the distress her friend appeared to be in; the shy pegasus was still standing in the same position she had been in when she opened the door, looking out through the frame as if Rainbow was still on the other side. She also seemed to be trembling slightly.

“Er, Fluttershy?” The yellow pony tensed at the sound of her name, but it went unnoticed by Rainbow, who continued talking after several moments of silence. “Sorry about taking a while to get here, I had a few weather jobs to take of… um, are you okay? You seem sort of shier than usual… at least around me anyway.”

Steeling herself, Fluttershy turned around and looked her friend straight in the eyes.

“Dash, ever since you saved me from those bullies back at flight school, I’ve always felt something towards you – something different to what I feel for our friends. Only recently, after all the trouble I had helping to move the water up to Cloudsdale, did I realise what that feeling is.”

Pausing for a moment to take a deep breath, the demure pony quietly squeaked out “I love you.”

Dash stood still for a moment, attempting to decipher what silent words her friend had just uttered. Eventually however, she decided it was fruitless. “Could you repeat that Fluttershy? You went a little quiet there.”

“I said… I love you,” repeated the shy pegasus, only a little louder.

“I hope you’re not trying to tell me something important, ‘cause I can barely hear you. Come on now, third time lucky-”

“I LOVE YOU!”

“There we go! I heard you that time. Was that real-” began the cyan pony, abruptly stopping as the gears turned in her head and she realised what it was exactly that Fluttershy had actually said.

“You… you love me?”

Fluttershy hesitated, then nodded rapidly in response.

Rainbow’s eyes widened…. then closed tightly as she facehoofed in irritation. “Darn it Fluttershy! Now you’ve got repressed memories of mine surfacing! Ugh.”

The expression on her face changed once again, but this time it held no emotion whatsoever. It was expressionless. Her body became stock still and her eyes stared straight ahead at nothing; then without warning, it flipped, landing her flat on her back, hooves sticking right up into the air.

As if to add insult to apparent injury, all the colours drained from her body until she was as grey as when Discord had affected her.

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy rushed over and attempted to rouse the monochrome pony – yelling her name, shaking her, pretending the Wonderbolts were just outside the door.

It didn’t work. Despite her best efforts, Dash remained on her back, eyes wide open, body like a fallen but intact statue.

Realising her attempts were futile, she lifted the statue-pony onto her back, and using all the energy she could muster, ran as fast as she could to the library, ignoring everypony she bumped into on the way.

Bursting through the door to the hollowed out tree, she dropped Rainbow onto the floor, the proceeded to collapse alongside her, gasping for air.

For some reason, all of her other four friends were there. They rushed over, looks of worry plastered on their faces, barraging her with questions.

“What happened?”

“Is Dashie okay?”

“Why is she grey?”

“What on Earth is going on dear?”

“I don’t know!” yelled the worn out pegasus at normal speaking volume, “I confessed and told her I love her – just like you four told me to do when I came to each of you for advice, even though none of you have any real romantic experience – and then she got annoyed and said ‘repressed memories are surfacing’ and-”

“Wait wait wait,” interrupted Twilight, “repressed memories surfaced? Then she turned grey and apparently contracted rigor mortis?”

“Yes…”

A collective ‘ugh’ was heard as everyone except Fluttershy facehoofed.

“What does that-”

“Damn it Fluttershy, what did you do?!” interrupted Twilight yet again.

“I-I just told her I love her, like I said – like you told me to!”

“Well you must’ve done it wrong because now she’s in one of those magical coma things!”

“Magical… coma?”

“This is going to be so boring,” muttered Pinkie Pie to Rarity, “now we’re going to be stuck watching Dash doing nothing for hours.”

“Sugarcube, sugarcube is stuck in a dream-state, continuously dreaming over and over, and she can’t be woken by normal means. You have to enter her dreams sugarcube, and fix whatever is wrong in that featherbrain head of hers,” stated Applejack.

“Enter her d-dreams?”

“Yes!” continued Twilight, “And you have to fix it quickly, otherwise she’ll die or go brain-dead for some reason.”

“I also broke my wings,” piped up Rainbow Dash, lifting her head slightly to look at Fluttershy and Twilight as they turned to listen to her, “y’know, when I fell on my back? Anyway I’m in a coma.”

“Great,” said Twilight sarcastically as she turned back to the shy pegasus, while Rainbow returned to her original position, “so she broke her wings too. That means once you’re done here, you’ll have to take her back to your cottage and look after her until they’re healed. You’ll have to put up with her constant moaning about being unable to fly too, though I’m sure your feelings for each other and thereby your relationship will develop even more during her stay. But first things first – get in her head and sort her out.”

“How am I meant to-”

“A herbal potion for the pegasus mare; all it needs is a dash of hair.”

Everyone looked at the source of the new voice, startled by its sudden appearance.

“Zecora? Where the hay did you come from?” questioned the purple unicorn.

“You need me, do you not? I came as fast as I could trot,” came the simple answer.

“But how did you… ugh, nevermind.”

“Zecora,” began Fluttershy, “is it true? Is Rainbow really in a coma? Do I really have to enter her dreams?”

The zebra took a moment to inspect the pony on the floor before nodding. “You can see it in her eyes – Rainbow Dash has gone beddy-byes.”

The yellow pegasus released a sigh. “Okay, what do I have to do?”

Producing a vial from the saddlebags she was carrying, Zecora took a hair from Rainbow’s head and dropped it into the green liquid within, causing it to bubble and fizz for a moment. Then she gave it to Fluttershy. “Drink this herbal potion and you will see, it will put you to sleep easily.”

“We’ll stay here and watch over you both while you help Dash,” assured Twilight, albeit reluctantly.

“Okay…” was all the pegasus said - more to herself than anyone else – as she drank the potion and laid down next to Rainbow.

“Please don’t take too long Fluttershy,” pleaded Pinkie, boredom already present in her voice, “I have other stuff I planned to do today – there's cakes to bake, pranks to pull, and I haven’t reached today’s quota of random yet!”

“Don’t you worry none sugarcube, me and the sugarcubes will still be here when you wake up. Now go on, go help sugarcube!” encouraged Applejack.

As darkness swiftly closed around her vision, the last thing she heard was Rarity say “Well, I suppose we best get comfortable,” before she drifted off into a deep sleep, her mind joining with Rainbow’s as she entered her dreams.

Several hours of surrealism, emotional and physical battles, challenges where Fluttershy had to become assertive and lots of crying later, the pegasi awoke and immediately embraced each other, tears of joy staining Rainbow’s coat as it returned to its original colour.

“Oh thank Celestia for that, took you long enough,” said Pinkie, exasperated.

Once the crying eventually subsided, the two pegasi had declared their love for each other and everyone had wished them well, Twilight felt compelled to ask something she had been wondering the entire time.

“So Dash, what memories surfaced that drove you into the coma?”

“Oh, u-um,” began the cyan pony, a sheepish smile on her face, “back in flight school, I-I got picked on a lot for people thinking I was a… a fillyfooler. Back then it wasn’t true but they used to torment me about it constantly, and I’ve been in denial ever since. Until today of course.”

The unicorn’s expression deadpanned. “That’s it? You got picked on back in school and that’s what drove you into a coma today? Seriously? There was a kid back at my school who always got picked on for having a ginger mane, and he grew up fine! Didn’t affect him at all; he just brushed it off. But you get picked on and end up going into a coma because of it?”

Dash’s smile only turned more sheepish as she slowly nodded.

“That’s really, really… oh never mind. Go back to Fluttershy’s cottage and let her look after your wings; I’ve got studying to catch up on.”

And so, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash returned to the cottage. Rainbow’s wings eventually recovered, the relationship between the two developed further, and them and their four friends lived happily ever after.

Until all but one of the six died of old age or illness, leaving the remaining one to reminisce about times gone by and the death of each of her friends, until she too dies while sitting in front of their graves.

THE END

Scene 022

“The truth is Dashie… I… I… I love you!”

Upon shouting her confession, Pinkie immediately dropped her gaze to the floor, her eyes seeing nothing as a million different possible replies from the love of her life ran through her head – all of them negative.

Her fears were abated however, when a cyan hoof pulled her head back up and presented her with the smiling and caring face of the mare in front of her.

“I know Pinkie,” said Dash, her smile growing slightly wider. “I love you too.”

The tiny soldiers that operated Pinkie’s mind, powered by the high quantities of sugar she ate which allowed them to be able to process many thoughts incredibly quickly, all came to an abrupt halt as this new information entered their workstation. They all shrugged at one another, unable to come up with a single response. So they told Pinkie to perform her most basic and most common of actions.

Smile.

The result was not a smile at all – it was a beam. A beam that threatened to split her face in two and that set off sparks in her brain, sending the little soldiers back into overdrive.

“Oh Dashie!”

She leapt forward and pressed her lips against those of the pegasus, capturing her in a passionate kiss that was gladly reciprocated as both of their eyes slid closed. As was the case for every couple that shared their first kiss, ponies, nature and the environment all instinctively and immediately froze what they were/it was doing in order to create the appearance that time had stopped around the pair of lovers, before continuing on as if nothing had happened. Next, a microscopic black hole – with the gravitational pull of the largest of supermassive black holes but unable to actually pull anything towards it due to obvious elementary witchcraft – temporarily appeared next to every living being in the universe except for the kissing ponies, effectively slowing down time for everyone but them so that their kiss would feel like it lasted an eternity while only really lasting a few seconds.

The routine performed by the universe for every new couple now completed, the two ponies decided to take their simple kiss further. Their tongues reached out and intertwined, dancing a sensual dance together.

At least, that’s what happened at first. Shortly after it began however, Rainbow Dash noticed the tongue tango was quickly transforming into lollipop tasting – with her tongue being the lollipop. She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow, noticing what appeared to be a look of concentration on Pinkie’s face. The party pony’s own eyes then opened, her pupils pointing off to an upper corner of her vision, as if trying to remember something.

Rainbow broke the kiss. “Pinkie, what are you doing?”

“Lightning? No… sonic waves maybe?” Pinkie mumbled to herself.

“Pinkie?”

“I’m trying to determine what exactly it is you taste of Dashie,” answered Pinkie, her direction of vision still indicating her to be in deep thought.

“What I… What I taste of?”

“…Fresh air perhaps?” Pinkie absently continued to herself.

“But… none of those things have any taste!”

“…Maybe morning dew?”

“That’s just water! Why not just say water?”

“…The sky?”

“How does a mouth taste of just water anyway? If anything it would taste of saliva.”

“Adventure!” Pinkie exclaimed, bringing her attention back to the pegasus. “That’s what you taste of Dashie – waffles and adventure!”

“Waff- adventure?” echoed Dash incredulously. “You can’t literally taste adventure Pinkie; a ‘taste of adventure’ is just an expression, it’s impossible for it to have an actual flavour.”

Pinkie just shook her head dismissively, a happy smile gracing her features. “Nope, you taste of adventure Dashie! I’m sure of it.”

Rainbow’s hoof met her face in frustration. “But adventure doesn’t have- you know what, nevermind,” she said, her hoof returning to the floor, “you’re just being you. Just… come here and give me a hug would ya?”

Happily obliging, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Rainbow Dash, burying her face into the multi-coloured mane while its owner placed her head on Pinkie’s shoulder.

Her recent frustration draining away, Rainbow sighed and closed her eyes, content in the arms of the mare she loved.

Until she heard what sounded like the intensive sniffing of a dog.

“Pinkie, what are you doing?” she asked, opening her eyes once more.

“Your mane smells like the wind and Sun, Dashie,” replied Pinkie, taking in a big whiff of the apparent aroma and sighing contently herself.

“Pinkie!” groaned Dash, pushing the pony away so they were looking at each other again. “Those things don’t smell! They can’t smell! The wind may carry certain smells on it, but it doesn’t have its own scent! Neither does the Sun!”

“How do you know? How do you know that Celestia doesn’t add a smell to sunlight?”

“Because that’s impossible!” cried Dash. “Rays of light from the sun come in the form of photons – little packets that exhibit both wave and particle properties – as does every other form of electromagnetic radiation; and just like every other form of electromagnetic radiation, it doesn’t smell! The chemicals that the sun is made up from and fuses together may have their own smell, but if they do, we’re not going to be able to smell them due to the fact that the sun is in space!”

Pinkie Pie blinked. “How do you know all that?”

“Spending a lot of time with Twilight,” answered Dash, waving a hoof dismissively. “She’s either slowly learning that she has a crush on me or already knows it, and so is spending lots of time with me. I am of course too dense to realise it, so we’ll probably have to deal with a love triangle problem in the future, but that’s not important right now!”

“…You know, now that I think about it, Fluttershy’s mane smells of fresh flowers and grace.”

Rainbow simply deadpanned. “Right. I’m off,” she said, turning around and taking to the air, up and away from the pony with the damaged senses. Or brain.

As she reached the cloud layer, a shout was heard from below.

“The flapping of your wings sounds like cupcakes! Dashie!”