Chapters Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Fluttershy sighed as she trotted inside her cottage, her nightly routine of feeding complete. It was late, as always, but she felt a warm sense of fulfillment, knowing that she had taken care of all of her critter friends. The otters had been fed, the birds had been tucked in their nests, the mice were back in their holes with plenty of seeds to nibble, and the squirrels were gorged on acorns and not likely to cause any trouble in the night.
With a gentle yawn, Fluttershy paused at Angel Bunny’s indoor hutch, where she let him sleep when the nights started getting cold. Angel sat at the door, one foot tapping restlessly. Fluttershy smiled at her fluffy friend. “Hello, Angel. Have you been a good boy for Momma while she’s been busy?”
Angel shot her an exasperated look, but nodded compliantly. Fluttershy beamed at him. “What a good boy! That means you get your late-night snack. Here you are!” Fluttershy produced a carrot from her saddlebag, offering it to the disgruntled rabbit.
Angel practically leapt upon the vegetable, gnawing on it happily. Fluttershy giggled and nuzzled the rabbit, who returned the nuzzle in a rare show of affection. Yawning again, Fluttershy hung up her saddlebag on a hook on the wall, and trotted up the stairs to the second floor of her cottage. “Whew. What a day. Going to the market always leaves me exhausted,” she murmured to herself.
Humming quietly, Fluttershy stepped into the bathroom and turned on her shower, waiting patiently as the water warmed. With a content sigh, she slid under the falling water, letting it roll over her back and withers, drenching her flowing pink hair until it hung to the floor. She sang a soft, wordless tune as she bathed, her wings fluttering and flipping water as she stretched them out and cleaned them. It had been a long day. “A shower always feels so nice,” Fluttershy commented to nopony in particular.
She felt the tension of the day wash down the drain with the dust and bits of animal food and accumulated particles that were common to an animal caretaker such as herself. She turned off the shower and sighed as the water dripped off her in rivulets, before shaking herself from nose to tail, sending a mist of water every which way. She took a moment to wring the water out of her mane and tail, before giving her matted hair a small toss, satisfied that most of the moisture was gone.
She moved out of the shower and grabbed a towel, quickly rubbing herself dry before grabbing a spray bottle of sunflower-scented feather oil. Spreading her delicate wings open, she gently applied a fine misting of the waxy oil to each wing, before she began working the oil in with a combination of her hooves and mouth, preening each wing carefully as she ensured that all her feathers were in alignment and properly oiled.
After an hour, she was satisfied, collecting the small pile of loose feathers and downy fluff up with one hoof and leaving them in a basket at a nearby open window. Her bird friends would use it for nesting material, and she loved to see the tufts of her yellow feathers shining in the homes of her feathered friends. It was like she was always with them, keeping them warm and cozy.
That idea warmed her more than any shower could, and she tucked herself into her bed with that happy thought in mind. “Goodnight friends,” she whispered to her cottage. With a small smile, Fluttershy drifted off to sleep.
Fluttershy awoke with a small squeak as she felt two hooves wrap themselves around her midsection, and found herself being pulled close to a warm, fuzzy body. Trembling in fear, Fluttershy lay still, frozen with panic. She felt as though her hammering heart would beat right out of her chest. Small shivers slowly ran down her spine as her unseen assailant snuggled her tightly.
“Mm… sunflowers… for the orphans… hmmmhm, yes…” murmured an oddly familiar voice.
Fluttershy’s mind whirled with confusion. Her best friend? In her bed? What could she possibly be doing there?
The terror slowly sapped away, leaving Fluttershy feeling limp and weak, almost panting as she tried to calm herself down from the edge of a massive panic attack. She glanced down to her midsection and put one hoof gently on Rarity’s own well-groomed foreleg, confirming that she was awake and not dreaming. Rarity gurgled out a distinctly unladylike snore, which startled Fluttershy, causing her to squeak and pull her hoof away.
After the panic fled and the reality of the situation set in, Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle at the absurdity of her predicament. She giggled quietly, of course, being considerate of her sleeping friend.
“Pff… that’s… twenty percent stupid … gnnh… no fashion sense…” muttered Rarity, her teeth clenching in her sleep.
Fluttershy muffled another laugh with her hooves, and finally decided to speak up. Rarity had always told her to be open and honest with her, and she knew that being more assertive could only be good for her in the long run. “Rarity, um… sorry, I don’t mean to wake you, but… uh, if you wouldn’t mind waking up… I would really, really appreciate it…”
“Hmmph… gnn… the butter is…is in the fridge, darling… put it with the…hnn... yellow things…” Rarity non-replied.
“Um… I mean, it’s not that I don’t mind you… sharing a bed with me… but maybe if you wouldn’t sleep so close… we could be more comfortable?”
Rarity, almost in response to Fluttershy’s gentle entreaty, tightened her grip and snuggled her face into one of Fluttershy’s wings, sighing happily. Fluttershy blushed, letting out a small ‘eep’ of surprise, but didn’t push Rarity away. She waited a few moments, and then sighed, defeated. “... Well, o-okay, I suppose this is… fine. You can stay here tonight, Rarity, as long as you explain yourself tomorrow.”
“Gmm… ha… the dandelions are very… fluffy…” Rarity murmured.
“... Okay,” Fluttershy whispered.
A few awkward minutes of hoping Rarity would wake up passed before Fluttershy resigned herself to her fate and tried to relax. After some strategic shifting, she found a slightly more comfortable position, and leaned back into her best friend. Rarity was warm, and her gentle breathing was soothing in a strange way, and Fluttershy found herself smiling as she went back to sleep. She was sure Rarity would wake up tomorrow with a wonderful story of how she ended up in her cottage, and they would be able to laugh about it at the spa.
She sure hoped so, at any rate...
Fluttershy yawned and stretched, her eyelids peeking open slowly as early morning light streamed through the nearby window and warmed her fur. She sighed happily. She hadn’t slept so peacefully or awoken feeling so well rested in a long time. Turning over, she reached for the other side of her bed.
“Rarity, it was really nice having y—” her words caught in her throat.
The other side of the bed was empty, a few deep indigo hairs clinging to the pillow, and a warm imprint of a body all that remained of her friend. Fluttershy sighed, frowning slightly. “...That’s odd. I hope she wasn’t too e-embarrassed… or maybe I snore?”
She winced, sitting up. “What if I snored really loudly and woke her up?”
She felt her heartbeat increase in tempo, and a droplet of nervous sweat worked it’s way down the side of her face.
“ANGEL! ”
Angel Bunny sat up straight as his name echoed through the house, shocked awake by the volume of the cry. Fluttershy sounded like she was in trouble. A fire was ignited in the little rabbit’s heart, and he leapt from his hutch, swiftly dashing for the stairs. Nothing messed with Fluttershy. Not on his watch.
Angel kicked open the bedroom door with unexpected strength and force for a creature his size, leaping to the center of the room and spinning in a fast circle, taking in the scene. Nobunny else was there. Nobunny but Fluttershy, at any rate. She was curled up in the middle of her bed, sobbing.
Angel leapt up on the bed, pressing a paw to Fluttershy’s forehead. No fever . He visually inspected her. What could have possibly—
Angel found himself suddenly grabbed, and Fluttershy brought him to her chest, hugging him desperately before holding him out at length. “Angel! Do I snore too loudly?! I must be the most obnoxious , most awful sleeper in all of Equestria!”
As Angel was crushed to Fluttershy’s chest once more, her body wracked with gasping cries, all he could think was that it was going to be one of those days. After indulging Fluttershy’s hysterics a few moments longer, he wriggled out of her grasp and gave her an incredulous look. Fluttershy met his gaze, hiccuping softly as she blinked at him through her tears. “I-I’m sorry, Angel, if I ever kept you up at all hours with my awful sleeping habits!”
Angel shook his head emphatically, and put a paw on Fluttershy’s cheek, patting it gently, before giving her a solid slap across the nose. Fluttershy squeaked, startled out of her hysterical tears by the stinging sensation. Angel grabbed the stunned pegasus by the hoof and led her, stumbling, downstairs to the kitchen. He hopped up onto the counter as Fluttershy stood, trembling, in the middle of the kitchen, still distraught. He dashed about the countertops in a memorized routine, before finally stepping back to admire his work.
A kettle of water sat on the stove, slowly heating, and a packet of chamomile tea sat beside Fluttershy’s favorite pink tea cup.
He hopped back down from the counter and prodded Fluttershy, who blinked uncertainly at the rabbit. “O-oh, um… some tea does sound nice…”
Angel waited patiently with Fluttershy as she fixed herself a cup of tea, slowly calming down as the routine of the activity settled her nerves. She finally sat down on the sofa, holding the cup of tea and waiting for the packet of leaves to finish steeping. She spoke up hesitantly, looking to the white rabbit by her side. “Are you s-sure I don’t snore?”
Angel nodded emphatically, and gestured towards the tea. Fluttershy took a careful sip after blowing on the surface of the hot water once or twice, and sighed at the relaxing flavor. Angel sighed as well.
Crisis averted.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Confetti exploded across the room, sending fluttering clouds of multicolored paper everywhere. “It’s time to go to bed!”
Pinkie grasped Gummy and tossed him into the air, sending the little reptile cartwheeling, before catching him on her bouncing, flouncing mane. She beamed at nothing in particular as she pranced around the room, throwing confetti with wild abandon. “Bed time! Bed time! It’s the best time of the night, right after ‘brushing teeth time’, and ‘tucking in the twins time’, or any of those other times!”
Pinkie bounced in place for a moment before dashing over to the nightstand and grabbing a small blue night cap and tucking it onto Gummy’s scaly head. She picked up the alligator, which stared blankly back at her for a moment before nipping at her nose. She giggled and set him on the edge of her bed. The tiny alligator scuttled over to a pillow, turned in a circle a few times, then sat down, staring at Pinkie Pie. She beamed back at Gummy. “You’re right, I totally should read tonight before bed!”
The alligator blinked as Pinkie Pie ran over to a bookshelf and grabbed a colorful book before prancing back over to the bed and leaping atop it. Standing on two wobbling back legs, she lifted the book over her head. “I thought about your idea, Gummy, and I thought, ‘you know what’s better than reading? Reading dramatically !’”
Pinkie Pie smiled at Gummy, who blinked slowly back at her, emotionless. She giggled, and then flipped open the story book, her eyes squinting briefly before she cleared her throat. Raising one hoof into the air in a classically theatrical posture of soliloquy, she inhaled deeply, the dramatic tension climbing. Gummy stared at the pink mare, his apparent lack of anticipation not phasing her in the least.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes suddenly crossed, and without preamble, she fell face-first into her pillows. Gummy sat, unphased, as muffled snores rose from his owner. After a moment, the little alligator trundled off the bed, leapt up, and flicked off the light switch with a jump and a snap of his gums. He returned to his pillow, turning in a circle, and then curled up to sleep.
“Raaaaariiiitttyyyyyyy. What are we doing ?” whispered Pinkie Pie anxiously.
Pinkie was awake, because of course she was awake. Nopony slipped into Pinkamena Diane Pie’s room without setting off a paroxysm of trembling limbs and twitching tail. Pinkie wasn’t sure how Rarity had managed to sneak up on her, even when she was asleep, but Pinkie’d woken up to a real doozy of a Pinkie Sense attack with Rarity next to her in her bed. It was the best surprise ever .
Maybe second best.
“Rarity, did you decide to throw me a surprise party in your sleep? ” she hissed quietly.
“Mmmhpgf… the tangerine… with the melon, yes… gnn…”
Pinkie giggled. “You’re totally right. Tangerines and melons belong together. It’s like a match made in fruity heaven! ”
“Hmm… we can’t possibly… make them fly…”
“Don’t say that! ” Pinkie quietly gasped, “They tried their best in flight school! ”
“Well… ngh… that’s certainly true.”
Pinkie smiled. “I know.”
There was a moment of silence, and Rarity’s hoof reached out, grabbing onto Pinkie Pie in the dark. Pinkie said softly, “I agree, playing ‘guess what the sleeping pony is talking about in their sleep’ was totally getting old. New game!”
“Mmmph… yes…” Rarity gripped onto Pinkie Pie’s fluffy candy-floss mane with a small smile.
“Makeovers? I dunno, it’s hard to do that in the dark.”
Rarity’s other hoof reached over and grabbed onto Pinkie Pie’s tail, and she rolled over, pulling Pinkie Pie to her side and covering herself in the curly, poofy locks like a frizzy blanket. Pinkie Pie giggled. “Oh! I get it now.”
Pinkie Pie snuggled in closer to Rarity, offering up as much of her mane and tail to the sleeping unicorn as she could manage. “The twins and gummy totally love playing ‘sleep in Pinkie’s mane’ too! Oh, I’m so glad you like the same games. I’m the best at this one. I always win! They always win, too. Actually, I don’t think anypony can lose.”
Rarity smiled in her sleep. “Mmmh… curly… octopi…”
“You said it, sister!” Pinkie snickered, before humming tunelessly, watching out the window at the stars.
Rarity continued to sleep, and Pinkie Pie quickly grew restless. “Rarity, this is fun and all, but we should stop playing games and maybe try to sleep? Because having a sleep-party is great, but it’s way better when everypony is… sleeping.”
“Ngh, the… th’ other swatch… too silky…” Rarity snored.
“What if we play some games? I’m sure there’s loads of great ones we could do! Pin-the-tail-on-the...oh, hm… there’s mareco-polo, that’s always… no, that one won’t work… what about hangpony? Oh, wait, somepony’s gotta guess letters.” Pinkie’s ears drooped as she wracked her brains for other games to play with a sleeping friend.
“Hgh… the map… the fish took it…”
“Well, I dunno much about that. Oh, I’ve got an idea! What if we play the ‘who can be the quietest’ game? We can totally play that!”
“Hmm.. nyes, that’s… a porpoise…” muttered Rarity.
“Onetwothree go!” whispered Pinkie Pie, and she grew still, barely moving.
Rarity rolled over again, snuggling into Pinkie Pie’s side, but Pinkie Pie didn’t make so much as a peep. She stayed silent, eyes wide and staring, watching Rarity for any sign of weakness.
She wouldn’t break. Not this time. She’d be the best, most quietest quiet-game player that ever was.
Pinkie Pie was losing her mind.
Rarity’s slumber had deepened, and she didn’t react to anything. She was so… so quiet. Pinkie Pie was determined, though, and nothing would sway her determination to see the game through. Once Pinkie Pie started a game, she always finished it.
Pinkie had promised herself a whole day of singing and dancing, trying to maintain her resolve. A whole day, if only if she stayed quiet. She had to win.
So, Pinkie Pie had waited. Watching. She had forsaken her middle name of Responsibility, and taken on a new one: Patience. Her limbs trembled with the non-effort of maintaining the endless, all-encompassing silence.
Her vision blurred as her pupils bounced, trying desperately to release the building energy inside her. Small spasms shuddered through her body, setting her ears wiggling and hooves twitching.
The first rays of the morning sun shone through the windows without warning, and Pinkie Pie stared at the rising light, her eyes growing wider and wider until they threatened to pop right out of her skull. Rarity didn’t move, breathing softly, her cream coat rising and falling at regular intervals. Very regular intervals. Three-point-four-seven breaths per minute, on average, Pinkie thought to herself.
Pinkie Pie had counted. She’d done the math.
It started in her tail. The very ends curled and twitched violently, sending a trembling vibration into her haunches. Her muscles tightened, pulling to the very edge of readiness, and her lower legs stretched outwards. Pinkie’s forehooves grasped onto the sheets, balling them up as she held on to the last vestiges of her silence. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, just a moment, but they refused to stay shut. No more silence. The Quiet Game was so, so over.
With a guttural scream, Pinkie Pie launched herself out of bed. “Party Emergency! This is not a drill!”
She leapt to a bookshelf and threw aside a dozen books, revealing a massive red button. She slapped it once, twice, three times, the button emitting loud buzzes with each fervent press.
Lyra Heartstrings yawned as she trotted towards Sugarcube Corner, the first idyllic beams of the sunrise warming her minty-green coat. She wasn’t terribly cold, thanks to the yellow hoodie she was wearing, but the warmth was still welcome. She inhaled a zestful breath of the crisp air. It was a wonderful day to be alive. With her harp at her side and a few bits in her pocket, she felt like she could take on all of Equestria. Lyra didn’t need to, of course, but the feeling was still an empowering one.
After a breakfast muffin and a cup of hot chocolate, she decided she’d head to the park and play her harp, before meeting Bonbon for lunch.
With a warm smile, she reached out a hoof to open the front door of Sugarcube Corner.
Without any warning, every window in the shop flew open. Pastel artillery pieces burst from every nook and cranny of the store, their muzzles turned outwards on the unsuspecting village. With a deafening multi-gun salute, they launched their payload.
The citizens of ponyville awoke as one, gasping as their streets were filled with streamers. Confetti coated the roof of every house within three blocks of Sugarcube Corner, and dozens of cakes, presents, and party favors littered the streets, delivered at improbable velocities to key locations by the multiple party-cannon assault. Carnival music tinkled from dozens of enchanted gemstones that had fallen from the trees, released by concealed magics.
With a shuddering report, fireworks began to launch from the rooftop of Sugarcube Corner, sending colorful flashes and bursts of pyrotechnic magic into the dawn, challenging the sun for its place in the sky. And there, at the very cupcake-shaped pinnacle of the store, danced Pinkie Pie, wearing no less than three party hats. The fluffy menace cavorted wildly, madly giggling as she bore witness to her patented “Partygeddon”. Pinkie’d been saving it for a real doozie of a day, and today was that day.
“I LOST THE GAME!” she crowed, laughing happily. She didn’t care about the quiet game anymore, though. In her opinion, everypony should lose the game. And they had, each and every one of the confused citizens of Ponyville, as their befuddlement turned to cheer. Impromptu parties broke out in the streets as joy overcame confusion, ponies burst into song, and Pinkie watched over it all like a benevolent, jolly party goddess, soaking in the good feelings.
Leaping from the rooftop, Pinkie Pie bounced happily back into her room. “Rarity! You won ! Let’s have a par—huh?”
Rarity was gone. Pinkie Pie frowned at the spot Rarity had occupied in her bed. “Hmm...”
Author's Note
You all just lost the game.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
“And that is how it’s done.”
Rainbow Dash grinned devilishly at the stunned Wonderbolts as they sat, at a loss for words. Rainbow Dash’s new flight routine had been one of her best, fastest, and most daring yet. She knew it was good, but she need to hear it from them. She’d caught Fleetfoot, Soarin’, and Spitfire at the end of a relay team practice session and invited them to check out the routine she was planning on debuting before the Equestrian Games this year. After their bonding experience at the time trials a few weeks previous, they’d eagerly taken her up on her offer.
She’d almost lost her cool. Almost. She’d played it off with the right blend of enthusiasm and attitude. Of course she was hanging out with the Wonderbolts. Of course they’d agreed to see her new routine! They were all friends, or at least peers.
The Wonderbolts thought of her as a peer .
So. Awesome.
Fleetfoot managed to speak first, after collecting herself. “Wow.”
“That’s an understatement,” said Soarin’, his shocked expression turning to one of delight.
“That was really good. I mean, you did a reverse-corkscrew during the Filly Flip, which I’m sure was an accident, but—” Spitfire began.
“Accident nothing , I did that totally on purpose!” interrupted Rainbow Dash.
“You did a Reversed Filly Flip… on purpose ? You know it’s harder that way, right? I mean, nopony except stunt fliers like us would even notice the difference!” protested Soarin’.
“Well, duh , of course it’s harder. Why do you think I did it?” said Rainbow Dash, examining her forehoof with practiced nonchalance.
The three Wonderbolts shared a look, before bursting into laughter. Rainbow Dash glanced up at them, her ears going flat as she frowned. “What?”
“You’re crazy , Rainbow Dash!” said Soarin’, wiping a mirthful tear from his eye.
“You don’t have to try to impress us, speed-freak! You’re practically one of us!” said Fleetfoot, still giggling.
Spitfire chimed in, “After what you did for us at the time trials—standing in for Soarin’, keeping us practicing as a three-pony team—”
“Don’t forget putting you two back in line after you tried to get rid of me!” Soarin’ interjected, smirking at Fleetfoot and Spitfire.
“—you’ve more than earned our respect,” finished Spitfire, smiling bashfully at Soarin’ before adding, “And we already apologized for that how many times now?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure I can get one or two more out of you both,” said Soarin’, casting a wink at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash beamed at the three pegasus ponies, a warm feeling bubbling up inside her. “Wow, thanks, guys.”
“Yeah, well, thanks for showing off your routine. It was really something else,” Fleetfoot said.
Rainbow Dash giggled bashfully, squeaking out a small, “Cool!”
Soarin’ glanced up at the sky, noting the colors of the clouds shifting towards deep indigos as the sun began to set. “It’s probably time we got back home. We’ve got a bit of a flight ahead of us.”
“Yeah, of course. Gotta stay in peak condition for training, right?” Rainbow Dash said with a smile.
“How about you? Shouldn’t you be getting some rest? I know you’re training just as hard as we are, if that routine is anything to judge by,” asked Spitfire.
“Oh, yeah! Got some Apple Brown Betties waiting for me at home—Applejack’s been keeping me well supplied—and then right to bed!” replied Rainbow Dash.
The three Wonderbolts and lone Ponyville Weathermare parted ways, heading opposite directions, eager to rest and recover.
Rainbow Dash flew to a screeching halt as she touched down on the fluffy cloud bed surrounding her home, tucking into a forward roll as she laughed excitedly. She somersaulted twice before finally coming to a halt a few feet from her doorstep, lying on her back and looking up at the night sky. She beamed at the darkness, the warm feeling from earlier causing her to grin and giggle, clutching her sides as she kicked her legs and rolled in the cloudstuff like a filly after her first flight. Finally, she stood up, pushing open her front door, and trotted into her living room.
“So awesome !” she crowed, her exultation turning suddenly into a yawn.
Grinning sheepishly, she walked to her ice box in the kitchen and pulled it open, grabbing a chilled Apple Brown Betty from inside. She brought the tasty treat over to a electrified stormcloud, setting it down beneath the tiny tuft of cumulostratus, and gave the cloud a solid buck. Electricity thunderously discharged, zapping the frozen Apple Brown Betty. Rainbow Dash reached out and picked up the baked good with her mouth. Her eyes widened and she spat it out, fumbling it with her hooves as she yelped. “Hot!”
She juggled her dinner for a few moments, letting it cool, before she dared another bite. She swallowed quickly, exhaling. It was still hot, but not so bad. The electric tingle of the re-heated food was a little gross, but it was better than eating it cold. She scarfed down the snack in a few bites and then trotted to the sink, filling a glass with some water from a faucet attached to a rain reservoir on top of her house. She carried the glass with her to her bedroom, setting it beside the bedside table, and flopped into her bed—a nest of small fluffy clouds, pillows, and blankets. She wriggled around, wings flapping slightly as she dug into the pile of comfortable clouds, and emerged a moment later with a book.
“Daring Do and the Jewel of Bitaly, chapter fourteen…” she murmured as she flipped the book open to a marked page, and began reading. She read quietly, but in an engaged manner, giggling at funny moments or gritting her teeth through tense moments. After a dozen pages, her eyes grew heavy, and she found herself having to re-read sections as her sleepy brain failed to process the words on the page. Rainbow Dash finally set the book down on her nightstand, trading it for the glass of water. After taking a few gulps, she set her drink aside and curled deeper into the blankets, throwing a cover at the sparking firefly lantern that lit her room. The cover landed squarely, dimming the light, and Rainbow Dash smirked sleepily as she snuggled into her soft nest.
Rainbow Dash woke up late, as always, the sun having already risen into the sky. She stretched, rising from her nest of blankets with a slight blush and a chuckle.
“Well, that was… interesting.”
Her ears flattened against her skull, and she giggled nervously, glancing around the room. “But not so interesting that I’d ever admit anything about it.”
Nodding to herself, she stretched, feeling a satisfying pop in her joints, and then fluttered towards her kitchen to fix herself some breakfast oats.
Author's Note
No, there isn't anything missing from this chapter. Read on, you'll understand.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Applejack groaned as she stepped into the farmhouse, pausing only long enough to stomp the dirt from her horseshoes. She went straight for a basin of cool water in the kitchen, grabbing a towel and wiping down her face and hooves. The cold water shocked her system, leaving her feeling more alert than she had moments before.
“Whew. What a day, huh, Big Mac?” Applejack breathed, glancing at her brother as he strode into the kitchen alongside her.
“Eeyup,” sighed Big Macintosh, as he slid by Applejack and grabbed the towel from her offering hooves.
“Well, it’s a good thing we got everythin’ in the south field cleared up. Seein’ as we worked into the night, we don’t have anything more to do there tomorrow. Nothing more to worry ‘bout except a few weeds and a rare vampire fruit bat,” Applejack said, trotting over to the dinner table and sliding into a chair with a small groan as the soreness in her back and haunches was relieved.
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh agreed, folding the dirty towel and placing it back beside the basin. He sat down across from Applejack, rubbing the back of his neck with his hooves and grumbling.
“Sore, huh? Yeah, me too.”
Applejack leaned back in her chair, rocking herself with one hoof on the ground, feeling her eyelids droop. Big Mac leaned forward on the table, exhaling slowly. Applejack allowed the quiet moment to stretch for a bit, before she spoke up again. “So, tomorrow, cleaning out the north field and getting all the grass trimmed down low, so the wagons don’t have to struggle through snags or bumps we didn’t see.”
Big Macintosh nodded slowly, holding up his head in his hooves and leaning ever-harder on the table, until he put too much weight on it and the table scooted forward. The sliding table bumped the leaning Applejack, knocking her off balance. With flailing hooves, she fell backwards over her chair. “Ow!”
Big Mac snorted, standing up and offering his sister a hoof up with a laconic grin. “Sorry ‘bout that, Applejack.”
“Ya big galoot,” Applejack groused, unable to suppress a smirk of her own, “though I guess I deserve that. Shouldn’t ‘a kept workin’ so dang late.”
Applejack took Big Macintosh’s offered hoof and got off the floor, brushing herself off, and turning to head for the stairs. “I’m gonna turn in. You come to bed soon, we’ve got more to do in the mornin’.”
Big Mac gave Applejack a nod, and she slowly moved up the stairs, wincing at the top step and stretching out her rear legs. Creeping silently, she peeked into Applebloom’s room. The filly was sleeping soundly, light snores breaking the silence. Applejack watched her slumber for a moment before closing the door quietly. She peered into Granny’s room next, the elder mare slumbering with wheezing grunts that made Applejack chuckle silently. All was well.
Applejack staggered into her room and closed the door behind her with a soft click, and then moved over to the opposite wall. The deep purple hues of oncoming night filtered through the window, which Applejack opened slowly, relishing the influx of cool air that made her eyes close in delight. She smiled, pulled off her hat and held it to her chest, opened her emerald eyes and looked up at the stars.
“Hey ma. Hey pa.”
Applejack cleared her throat after a brief pause. “Mac an’ I got the south fields all set today. Worked extra hard to get it done, but I reckon we won’t have to worry ‘bout it for a few weeks or so. We can focus our work elsewhere. Feels good to get everythin’ squared away somewhere.”
Applejack’s eyes cast down for a moment, her serene smile becoming a slight frown. “It’s been a bit tough, lately, bein’ between harvests an’ all, but we’ve saved enough from last season, and we’re makin’ it through fine enough.”
She paused, leaning down to nuzzle the brim of her hat, and her smile returned. “I think things are gonna take a turn for the better, though. Cider season’s a’comin’, and we’re gonna rake in the bits. We managed to store enough to make a dozen extra barrels this time around, on top of our usual quota, so we’ll be sittin’ pretty soon. Don’t you worry none.”
Her eyes rose back up to the night sky once more, and a yawn escaped her trembling lips. “Shoot, look at me. I’m plum tuckered out!” Applejack chuckled gently. “I’m gonna turn in and get some rest, so I can be ready for tomorrow’s work.”
She slowly set the hat back on her head, adjusting the brim with one hoof in a habitual gesture before tipping it in a courteous manner towards the nighttime tapestry. “G’night. I love you, forever an’ always.”
Applejack’s eyes snapped open as she felt hooves wrap around her shoulders, and she grit her teeth, her entire body tensing like a coiled spring. Some pony else was in her bed, uninvited , and that was completely out of line. Her voice was soft at first, but grew in intensity and volume as she spoke, “Ah’ thought I told ya…”
“Mmm, th’... earthy…” breathed a voice behind her.
That did it. Applejack twisted in bed, rolling out of the tight grasp of the pony behind her, and bucked hard with her back legs. “Varmit! I told ya once, I told ya a thousand times, Ra—”
Applejack froze mid-sentence as she noticed the white-coated mare crumpled in a heap on the side of her room. “R-rarity?”
Rarity stood up shakily, blinking around the room. “I… what? Where…?”
Applejack stared at her for a moment. “Uh… Rarity? What are y’ doin’ in my room?”
“Applejack ? But… there must be some… I don’t…” Rarity’s eyes darted around the room. “What am I doing in your room?”
“Ah don’t rightly know, sugarcube. Figured since you were the intruder, an’ me bein’ the intrudee, I’d ask you first.”
“I don’t understand, darling! I was in my room at the boutique when I went to bed!” Rarity sat down with a wince, rubbing her side. “Goodness, and my flank is sore. Celestia knows what that could indicate, but it doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence.”
Applejack winced, rolling out of bed to stand in front of her friend with a sheepish grin. “That was me. I hit you harder than cider on a Friday. Ah’m awful sorry about that, I’m just… a little defensive when it comes t’ surprise mares in mah bed.”
Rarity chuckled blearily. “I suppose I’d react in a similar fashion… oh, but this is odd. How could I have possibly gotten into your room?”
“Maybe we should ask Twilight? She always seems to have an answer t’ the unexplainable, and Ah’d sure like an explanation for this.” Applejack said.
Rarity nodded, “That seems like as good a plan as any… but perhaps we should ask tomorrow? It is rather late.”
Applejack glanced at the open window and frowned at the moon that was disappearing below the horizon. “True enough. Want me to walk you back to the boutique? I’d feel awful if something happened to ya in the dark on the way home.”
Rarity smiled sheepishly, ears folding down. “I-If it wouldn’t be too much trouble?”
Applejack offered a hoof. “Least I can do.”
Rarity took Applejack’s hoof gratefully, rising to her hooves and shaking her head. “I’m awfully sorry about this, Applejack, it just doesn’t make any sense. Hopefully Twilight will have some insight.”
Applejack retrieved her hat from the hanger on the wall and smiled at her friend. “I guess we’ll see tomorrow.”
Author's Note
And now the story really begins.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
“Well, Rarity, I’m not exactly sure what to tell you.”
Twilight sat before Rarity and Applejack in the library, a small pile of books before her on the table. “I’d say that it seems like a regular case of sleepwalking, though you seem unusually mobile even for an extreme case.”
“Oh,” Rarity murmured, looking down at the floor as a blush spread across her face. “I just don’t understand it. I don’t know why I found myself in Applejack’s room, or what could have driven me to go there in the middle of the night.”
“Well, you were clingin’ t’ me somethin’ awful,” Applejack said with a smirk.
“I am sorry, Applejack!” Rarity cried.
“Ah know, sugarcube, just teasin’ ya a bit.”
“Well, I don’t appreciate it. After all, if I ended up in your bed, goodness knows where else I’ve been!” Rarity said, clutching one hoof to her chest with an aghast expression of horror.
Twilight giggled quietly. “Oh, well…a few nights ago you ended up in my bed.”
Applejack and Rarity turned to stare at Twilight, jaws dropping open. Twilight returned their look. “What? It wasn’t a big deal, and I didn’t want to embarrass you. I was going to mention it to you the next time I saw you, but then I was busy doing some research and never got the chance.”
“You just forgot to mention that I’d wandered into your bedroom in the middle of the night for no explicable reason?” Rarity said, aghast.
Twilight rubbed the back of her neck, squirming slightly. “I’m sorry, Rarity.”
“Goodness. Well, if I was in your bed one night, and Applejack’s bed on another…” Rarity paused, the implication sinking in.
“... you might have been in other ponies’ beds as well!” Twilight declared, standing up. “We should get the rest of the girls, and see if you’ve been…” Twlight paused, blushing slightly.
Rarity scowled at Twilight, “Don’t say sleeping around.”
“It… does describe the situation, though,” Twilight said, smiling uncertainly.
“Hmph,” Rarity hmph’d, turning her nose up in the air. “Be that as it may, I’d rather we not make it sound like I’m some… some… hussy !”
Applejack chuckled. “Don’t you worry, Rarity, ah’m certain this is all a misunderstandin’.”
“Spike?” Twilight called, “I need you to send a few letters!”
“So, let me get this straight,” Twilight pronounced slowly, looking at all of her assembled friends. “Rarity’s ended up in every single one of your bedrooms over the past five nights?”
“E-Everypony except me!” Rainbow Dash added, perhaps a bit too quickly.
Twilight frowned at Rainbow Dash’s unconvincing tone. “Okay, everypony except Rainbow Dash has been visited by Rarity?”
“Yepperooni!” Pinkie said, beaming.
“Um, yes,” Fluttershy said, ears lowering slightly.
Rarity covered her face, mortified. “Sweet Celestia, this is so embarrassing!”
“And Rarity, you don’t remember going to any of their homes, or leaving early in the morning? As far as you’re concerned, you’ve just been having several nights of particularly poor sleep.”
“That is correct. I’m sorry I don’t know anything more,” Rarity tapped a forehoof against the wood floor of the library nervously, “Oh, this is strange. I’ve been… in bed… with all of my best friends.”
“Except me!” Rainbow Dash said, “I-I mean, what gives? Am I not… uh… friendly enough?”
Rarity blushed. “I’m afraid I have no explanation, though I’m certain you’d be... visited... by me sooner or later. After all, I seem to be… visiting… my dearest friends, and you certainly are one.”
Rainbow Dash crossed her arms. “Whatever, I don’t need any marshmallow cuddles anyway. I’m an independent mare!”
Twilight raised a brow at that. “We… aren’t really questioning that, Rainbow.”
“Good! Because there’s n-nothing to question!” Rainbow plopped down on a cushion, sweating profusely.
The girls sat in silence for a moment, staring at Rainbow Dash. Twilight sighed. “All right, so, we know that you’ve been appearing in pony’s beds, and it seems to be mostly your best friends. There’s a few explanations I can think of off the top of my head, but there is one in particular that is seeming very plausible. Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.
Fluttershy tilted her head, “Me? What about me?”
“Could you call Discord for me?” Twilight said with a knowing smirk.
Rarity’s eyes widened. “Y-you don’t think that… Discord is behind this?”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Applejack said, scowling.
“Oh, I get it, he’s playing a prank on us!” Pinkie giggled.
Fluttershy frowned at the other mares. “I know that the rest of you don’t really trust Discord, but I think it’s sad that you would accuse him of something so quickly without any proof.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Fluttershy, even you have to admit, this kind of nonsense is just the kind of thing Discord enjoys. It ain’t hurtin’ nopony, but it’s a real nuisance.”
The girls stared at Fluttershy expectantly, and her ears drooped slightly. “Oh… I suppose that you’re right. He does enjoy his little jokes.”
Fluttershy stood up, trotting over to the door of the Library, and opened it. She inhaled deeply, scowling into the wider world, and said at a slightly-higher-than-average volume, “Discord, come here!”
There was a sound like a deflating balloon, and Discord appeared in the center of the room, reclined in an overstuffed armchair. The large draconequus wore a burgundy smoking jacket, pyjama pants, and loafers, and was staring at a centerfold in a magazine with a sly grin. He hummed appreciatively, turning the magazine on its side, and a section unfolded as his eyes widened slightly.
The girls sat awkwardly for a moment before Twilight cleared her throat, loudly. Discord’s eyes didn’t move from the magazine, but his grin grew a little more wicked, “Really, my little ponies, if you expect me to just appear at a moment’s notice and cater to your every whim, you are sadly mistaken. I’ve just discovered the most delightful creation that’s cropped up in the last thousand years. It’s called p—”
Twilight gasped, Pinkie Pie giggled, Rarity swooned dramatically, Applejack looked disgusted, Rainbow Dash snorted, and Fluttershy cried, “Discord!”
Discord peered over the cover of the magazine, his wicked grin dropping into a deadpan expression, “It’s called periodicals .”
“Oh,” the girls all said, simultaneously looking relieved.
“Though pornography is rather appealing as well, yes,” Discord quickly added, his grin returning tenfold as he flipped around the centerfold to the stunned mares’ view, revealing a picture of… Discord, laughing wildly and pointing at them.
Twilight rolled her eyes, “All right, you’ve had your fun, but we’ve had enough being messed with for one week.”
“One week?” Discord said, his face the picture of innocence, tiny angelic halo included. “Why, I’ve only just arrived!”
“The game is up, Discord,” Rainbow Dash declared, fluttering over to hover before him, “we know you’ve been messing with us and putting Rarity in everypony’s bed at night. Except mine .”
Discord chuckled. “Oh, that is a devious little scheme! But you’re mistaken, Rainbow Dash. I had nothing to do with it!” He declared.
“Prove it!” said Applejack.
Discord frowned. “You’ll simply have to take my word for it. As much as I enjoy a good prank, half the fun is getting to take credit for it. As much as I’d enjoy being the mastermind behind something so amusing, I simply cannot. Tell me, what is it that I’ve supposedly been up to?”
Rarity stomped forward, glaring at the draconequus, grinding her teeth. “You’ve been teleporting me into the beds of my best friends, and making me… snuggle them.”
Discord leaned forward, his smirk disappearing. “Come again?”
“You heard me! I’ve been snuggling my best friends in my sleep because of your… your… chicanery !” Rarity declared, stomping one hoof on the ground emphatically.
Discord’s eyes narrowed, and he turned to look at the rest of the ponies. “Snuggling?”
They all glanced at each other, before Twilight spoke up. “Well, she does act rather affectionate, it seems.”
Discord looked back to Rarity. “Tell me, Rarity, when is your birthday?”
“The twentieth of august, but I don’t see what that has to do with—” Rarity began, only to be interrupted by Discord.
“The twentieth ? And you’re twenty-five, now? And you’re unwed, uncoupled, or otherwise unattached?!” Discord practically shouted, slithering closer to Rarity and staring into her eyes.
Rarity pouted slightly. “W-Well, yes, but you don’t have to be so blunt! I’m simply waiting for the right pony!”
Discord slapped a paw over his face, chortling weakly. “Ohhoho, she’s waiting for the right pony …”
Twilight stepped forward, her wings unfurling as she tried to appear her most official. “Discord, what are you talking about? You’re not telling us something, and that needs to end right now .”
Discord openly laughed, pinching Twilight’s cheek in the manner of a doting uncle. “Oh, don’t you worry, Princess Twilight, things will be ending soon enough. I, on the other hand, am going to be leaving on vacation.”
Discord snapped his fingers, his smoking jacket and chair disappearing, replaced instantly by a pink and neon blue floral shirt and a pair of sunglasses. “I hear the other side of the galaxy is nice this time of year. But you all have a good time waiting for Rarity to find the right pony .”
Discord teleported, appearing near the Library door, and flung it open. Ponyville was not on the other side of the door, however, but an entirely different landscape. A fluorescing green sky framed wildly colored vegetation, leading up to pearlescent beaches and pink water that lapped at the bright shoreline. Discord made to step through, but paused, his head lowering for a moment, before he turned around and knelt down before Fluttershy, peering over the top of his glasses with the most serious expression anypony had ever seen on his face. His voice grew gentle as he asked the yellow mare, “Come with me?”
Fluttershy took a step back, startled. “What?”
“Come with me. Please.” Discord’s face was unreadable; a mask that had replaced his usual smirking demeanor.
“D-Discord… I…” Fluttershy glanced back to her friends, uncertainty on her face. “I can’t.”
Discord knelt for a moment longer, before he pulled his sunglasses back up over his eyes. “I understand. Maybe things will work out… and if they do, have your little dragon pal send me a letter. I’ll be back then.”
He smirked his usual smirk, and bounded out the door and onto the pearly sand beach of the strange world beyond, “Well, sayonara , my little ponies!”
With that, Discord slammed the door behind him. The ponies stood in stunned silence, and Fluttershy slowly sunk to her haunches, trembling. Rainbow Dash snorted, stepping forward and approaching the door to the library. “Some friend Discord is, walking out on us like that. I have half a mind to—” Rainbow Dash flung the door to the library open, revealing Ponyville beyond the door, same as it ever was, “—give him… a… well, that’s not really surprising.”
Twilight shook her head, standing up. “Well, I guess the only way we know for sure it wasn’t Discord is to observe Rarity tonight and see what happens.”
Fluttershy said something, so softly that almost nopony heard it, but Rarity stood and moved to sit beside her shaking friend. “What was that, darling?”
“He’s afraid ,” Fluttershy whispered.
Rarity stared at Fluttershy, her bemused smile becoming a thin line of determination. “I’m certain that he was just playing another practical joke, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy shook her head, her eyes wincing closed. “No. It wasn’t him. He was afraid of something. He left, and he wanted me to come with him, and I told him no, and now he’s alone somewhere and afraid .”
Rarity placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder, comforting the yellow mare. “Discord is a great, big god of Chaos. He can take care of himself. Don’t you worry, Fluttershy, I’m certain that after tonight we won’t have anything more to worry about.”
Fluttershy leaned into Rarity, peering tearily up at her through the pink curtain that was her mane. “I h-hope so, Rarity. I really do...”
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Interlude
Sweetie Belle pranced down the street, her candyfloss mane bouncing in the immaculate curls she maintained with the help of her sister. She smiled at every pony she passed, greeting them with her squeaky, adorable voice. Her cream coat shimmered, drawing the coos of older mares and the approving nods of stallions. Sweetie Belle was the kind of filly that they hoped their own foals could model after; a filly that was almost too good to be true.
Certainly she had a clumsy side, but that made her all the more adorable, and her occasional cute misadventures would cause any grown pony to experience heart palpitations. Of course, she occasionally messed up, but it seemed that things always worked out for the best for the tiny unicorn filly. Sweetie Belle’s fumbles were always preciously wonderful, filled with her melodious giggling and bashful blushing.
That was also why Sweetie Belle made everypony feel slightly uncomfortable.
You see, Sweetie was too good to be true, and the mares and stallions of Ponyville recognized it, deep down. She was too cute. Too precious. Every move was calculated for maximum adorableness, and that was… strange.
No filly or colt was like that, really. No child, no matter how well-mannered or carefully raised, was ever quite that perfect.
It had to be an act.
Of course, they would never say that to her. It was whispered that somepony had said it, once, and her tearful wailings had made the pony take it all back on the spot. Sweetie Belle had forgiven the pony, of course, because of course she would. She was so nice, always willing to forgive, her sweet smile like a blessing from Celestia.
Sweetie Belle pranced down the street humming a happy tune, all the way to Carousel Boutique, where she knocked on the door. “Rarity? Mom and Dad sent me to visit you while they watch pro wrestling! They would have let me stay, but they said that The Hock was going to say some bad words to Stone Colt Steve Horsetin, so I had to come here!”
Sweetie Belle waited patiently, before knocking again. “Rarity? I’m coming in! And I’m wiping my hooves on the mat like you asked me!”
Sweetie Belle dutifully wiped her hooves, careful to make them immaculate, before pushing open the door to the Boutique and walking inside. She peered around earnestly. “Rarity?”
There was no reply. Sweetie Belle shuffled her hooves nervously, before trotting upstairs and checking the whole house, calling her big sister’s name. She found neither hide nor long, purple hair of her sister. Sweetie Belle glanced around, standing in the middle of Rarity’s room, the last place she had checked.
Nopony could see her, or hear her. She was totally alone.
Sweetie Belle exhaled, running a hoof through her mane, and flopped over on Rarity’s bed, mussing her coat as she wiggled her hooves around in the air. “Holy manure, I have the whole place to myself! Finally!”
She giggled, and shouted as loudly as she dared, “Buck!”
But nopony heard her, so it was okay.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
It was late, and all the girls had ended up staying over at Twilight’s home to spend the night in a show of solidarity for Rarity. Twilight pulled out her extra pillows and blankets, maneuvered mattresses and futons from the confines of the storage closet, and together with the help of her friends set up an impromptu sleepover party on the first floor of the library. They told stories and chatted, eating snacks prepared by the always-eager Spike, and enjoyed each other’s company. Finally, the night deepened, eyes drooped, and with yawning smiles and hugs they all settled down to sleep.
All except Twilight, who sat quietly in a corner with scroll and quill in hoof, watching Rarity carefully. Rarity did not fall directly asleep, taking several minutes to shift herself and become comfortable. Her breathing slowly evened out, her chest rising and falling, and the still veil of deep sleep eventually covered the unicorn. Twilight smiled slightly, shifting into a more comfortable position as she watched Rarity, her quill scratching across the parchment as she began taking notes. She noted everything she could think of, from ambient light in the room (very low ), to temperature (pleasantly warm ), and even the number of involuntary ear or tail twitches (eight, thus far ). The night continued on, Twilight’s ink began to run low, and she finally paused, rubbing at one eye with her hoof. “This is taking longer than I expected,” she murmured to herself.
When she glanced back up at Rarity, the unicorn was gone. Twilight blinked, rubbing her eyes again, and stood up, looking around the room. “Th-that’s impossible. I looked away for less than a second,” she muttered, trotting around the room and searching swiftly, before checking the nearby bathroom, which was empty.
Twilight returned to the main room, stomping a hoof. “Girls, Rarity is gone!”
The sleeping mares all grumbled, rolling over in their sleep. Twilight rolled her eyes and used her magic to light all the lights in the room. The girls all groaned, some sitting up and rubbing at their eyes.
“What is it, Twi?” said Applejack, suppressing a yawn.
“Rarity disappeared. I looked away for only a second, and when I looked back, she was gone. Like, not just ‘sleepwalked away’ gone, but gone without a trace gone!”
The distress in Twilight’s voice, coupled with the bright light, brought the rest of Twilight’s friends out of their sleepy states, and they all gathered together, staring at Twilight earnestly. “What should we do?” asked Fluttershy.
“Organize a search party?” suggested Rainbow Dash.
Twilight frowned. “I’m not sure, but I need to analyze the room, first. Give me a minute.”
Twilight sat down next to the mattress Rarity had been sleeping on, staring at intently as her horn began to shimmer. Her wings spread open slowly as she focused, trying to find any magical trace. Twilight felt something , very briefly, that tickled her magical senses like a wooly knit sweater, before an overwhelming sense of dread suddenly overcame her. Twilight jumped back with a gasp, staring at the mattress. The feeling of dread disappeared, leaving her shaken, and she closed her wings tightly around herself. “I don’t know what’s happening to Rarity, but this is definitely not normal sleepwalking. Something magical is affecting her, and it’s… not good magic, either.”
Fluttershy gasped, clapping her hooves over her muzzle in shock. Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged concerned glances. Pinkie frowned, asking “So, by not good, you mean…?”
“Probably evil. Yes.”
Pinkie Pie gasped as well, fluffy mane quivering, before she giggled and trotted in place, “Ohh, Twilight, that gave me a chill !”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “So, we should probably start searching for Rarity, and soon. Let’s go wake up Mayor Mare, she can help organize the—”
“Wait!” Spike suddenly declared as he appeared at the top of the stairs, waving a scroll in the air. “I just was woken up by a scroll from Princess Luna!”
Twilight frowned, glancing up at Spike. “Princess Luna? Bring it here, Spike.”
Spike dashed down the stairs, offering the scroll to Twilight. Twilight unrolled the scroll and read aloud, “Dearest Princess Twilight Sparkle, We request thy presence in Canterlot post-haste, concerning the whereabouts of thy friend, Lady Rarity. It is urgent that thou attend unto this matter with the utmost speed. Send a reply via thy dragon familiar, and I will come for thee at once, as well as any others thou carest to gather. With respect, Princess Luna .”
Twilight’s ears perked up, and she frowned at the rest of the girls. “It sounds like Princess Luna knows something about Rarity. Spike, give me just one moment to write a reply, and then send it back.”
Twilight retrieved her quill, and tore a small section off her scroll, writing a hasty note on it before handing it to Spike. Spike took the letter and folded it neatly, before inhaling and breathing out a small puff of emerald flame. The magical fire caught the note and whisked it away, disappearing out a window and into the starry night.
The girls only had to wait a few minutes before a smoky shade poured through the same window the note had left from. They all took a step back as the shadows coalesced in the center of the room, and Princess Luna materialized, a concerned look on the alicorn’s face. “Princess Twilight,” she said, with a small nod.
Twilight resisted the urge to bow, returning the nod. “Princess Luna. You have information about my friend, Rarity?”
“Indubitably,” Luna said, glancing around to the assembled group. “Greetings, Fair Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.”
They all bowed respectfully, but Luna waved a hoof, her stoic expression faltering into a slight blush as she bid them to stand. “Rise, mine friends. Thou needst not bow to me. If we must follow all courtly courtesy, we shall be at this all night.”
Fluttershy stepped forward, uncharacteristically speaking first, worry evident in her face and tone. “P-Princess Luna, do you know where Rarity is? We are awfully worried about her. Twilight said something about evil magic…”
Luna nodded. “Thou art correct, we sensed these same magics within Canterlot palace. As custodian of the night, I dutifully investigated, and discovered an… awkward circumstance, which requires… the utmost in tact and diplomacy.”
Twilight sighed. “Where is Rarity?”
Luna glanced around, before stepping forward and whispering with urgency, “She hath appeared in the bedchamber of mine sister.”
Twilight blinked, her mouth opening into a round ‘o’ of surprise. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all giggled slightly, and Luna shot them a glare. “As funny as it may seem, the situation is far more dire than one would assume. Mine sister, Celestia, is a notoriously light sleeper… and when she is awoken before a certain hour, she is prone to mood swings most terrible to behold!”
Twilight frowned, one eyebrow raising slightly. “That’s funny, I don’t ever remember her being like that.”
Luna gave Twilight a deadpan stare, “When thou were a filly, she made certain to only wake thee after she had consumed her morning tea, in order to appear at her best for her prized pupil.”
Twilight blushed. “How do you know that for sure? You weren’t even around when I was a filly!”
Luna chuckled dryly, “Indeed, this is true, but think to thyself: art thou the first of Celestia’s pupils, or the most recent in a long line dating back thousands of years? Celestia’s age may be difficult to comprehend, but she has many a habit that has become second nature to her over the years. Especially involving her pupils. She’d prefer thou never knew of her… lack of enthusiasm for being awoken early.”
Luna’s gaze turned serious once more. “And this is why we must extract the Lady Rarity from mine sister’s bedchamber at once, before your friend inadvertently awakens her and invokes her wrath!”
Twilight carefully pushed open the doorway to Celestia’s bedroom, holding her breath as the hinges creaked gently. Warm air breezed past her face, causing her to blink and squint into the dark room. Shapes materialized out of the shadow: first a table with stacks of papers and scrolls, then an overstuffed chair, and finally her objective. Celestia’s bed was a large four-poster affair with white lace curtains that concealed the bed, giving only the vaguest of outlines of a large, winged shape in the center of the mattress.
With a nervous flutter of her wings, Twilight closed the door and turned into the hallway. A half-dozen Royal Guards stood at nervous attention, standing at their usual posts, but their eyes flickered towards the four mares and two princesses that were gathered outside Celestia’s bedchamber. Twilight didn’t spare the guards a second glance, looking to Luna. “I don’t see Rarity.”
“Thy friend is there, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied. “She rests next to mine sister.”
Twilight sighed. “The only way we’re going to find out for sure is if we go in and check behind the curtains of the bed. She must be there.”
She turned to her friends, speaking quietly, “I’m going to go in alone and check things out, and once I’ve found Rarity we can figure out a way to get her out without disturbing Celestia.”
“Magic is not an option. Mine sister is very sensitive to magics being used nearby; any use of the arcane arts may awaken her.”
Twilight gave Luna a nod, smiling nervously. “Wish me luck?”
“You’re gonna have to be pretty sneaky, Twi. I could go scout it out instead,” Rainbow Dash said, smirking confidently. “After all, I pull sneaky pranks all the time. I’m probably way quieter than you.”
Twilight frowned, “You’re probably right… but I think if something happens and we wake her up, Celestia will be more understanding if it was me, rather than one of you. Right?”
Rainbow Dash scowled, crossing her arms. “Yeah, I guess.”
“She’s right, Rainbow. What would ya do if you woke up the Princess? If she hates gettin’ woken up early, I’d imagine she’d be willin’ to hear Twilight out before… y’ know…” Applejack hesitated.
Fluttershy giggled softly, “Banishing her?”
“Or locking her up?” added Pinkie Pie.
“Or locking me up in the place she banishes me?” Twilight finished, snickering.
The girls shared a quiet laugh. Princess Luna’s ears lowered slightly. “Er, we do not understand.”
Rainbow Dash nudged the confused princess. “Ah, it’s a long story.”
Luna smiled uncertainly. “We… er… I would like to feel included in… your merriment.”
Twilight smiled, “Maybe after we've rescued Rarity, we’ll fill you in. For now, though, eyes on the prize?”
Luna gave a cautious nod to Twilight, gesturing towards the door to Celestia's bedroom. Exhaling slowly, Twilight turned back toward the door and pushed it open again, stepping softly into the room. She sunk low, careful to place her hooves so as not to make any noise as she crept across the stone-tiled floor space towards the rug that would muffle her movements further. She shuffled silently over the rug, and reached the edge of the large bed. Twilight parted the curtains, revealing Princess Celestia. The princess lay on her back, wings spread open wide, with her legs sticking out at odd angles. Atop Celestia lay Rarity, slumbering peacefully with her forelegs wrapped around Celestia’s mane like a blanket, covering most of her body with the shimmering locks. Celestia’s mouth hung open, an undignified line of drool running down the side of her muzzle. Twilight stifled a giggle, and carefully considered the situation. Rarity was deeply entangled with Princess Celestia’s mane, and removing her would be very difficult.
Twilight shifted closer and gently began untangling the ethereal locks of mane from Rarity’s hooves. Celestia shifted slightly, grumbling something unintelligible and smacking her lips together. Rarity moved as well, rolling over onto her other side and creating new set of tangles. Twilight sighed, rubbing one hoof against the side of her head as she pondered a better way to remove Rarity. If Celestia was as sensitive to magic in close proximity as Luna said, she’d have to find a way to manually disentangle Rarity and move her away.
“How’s it going, Twilight?” whispered Pinkie Pie from directly next to Twilight.
Twilight leapt and nearly screamed in surprise, her wings flaring open in bewilderment, and she barely managed to keep herself from collapsing onto Princess Celestia’s hind legs. “Pinkie!” she hissed, glaring, “How did you get in here?”
“Same way you did, silly. Ooh, Rarity’s all tangled up. That’s what’s taking so long!” Pinkie Pie leaned in, examining Celestia’s mane.
“Yes, that’s why it’s taking so long. Now get out, before you wake Celestia up!”
“She looks so happy!”
Twilight frowned, staring at Pinkie Pie. “Who?”
Pinkie beamed at Celestia and Rarity. “Well, they both do, really, but I meant Celestia. I’m sure she’s lonely all the time, because she’s the Princess, and she can’t have lots and lots of friends and parties because she has to do Princess-y things all the time and take care of all of us little ponies.”
Twilight turned her attention to Celestia, trying to see what Pinkie Pie was seeing, but all she saw was the open mouth and drool. Perfectly relaxed and deeply sleeping. “I… guess?”
“She’s always by herself, but Rarity’s there with her, now, and she’s happier!” Pinkie turned to smile at Twilight.
“So, what you’re saying is…?” Twilight said, hoping for a somewhat coherent response.
“We can’t just take Rarity. We need to switch her, and I know just how to do it!” Pinkie exclaimed, retrieving a brown, dusty fedora from nowhere and plopping it on her head.
Twilight was just about to ask what Pinkie intended to switch Rarity with, when she suddenly found herself scooped up into Pinkie Pie’s hooves. Pinkie’s eyes narrowed, bouncing Twilight in a manner that indicated that she was judging her weight, and Twilight tried not to struggle. “Pinkie, what are you—”
“Shh!” Pinkie shushed Twilight.
Twilight was about to jump out of Pinkie Pie’s grasp, when suddenly something happened. Twilight felt a sensation of very fast movement, and she found herself spontaneously lying on top of Princess Celestia, where Rarity had just been moments before. Her eyes widened, mouth dropping open in surprise, and she turned to look at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie held Rarity in her hooves, where Twilight had just been. Pinkie gave Twilight a wink, tipped the brim of the fedora, and then snuck away with Rarity, leaving Twilight in bed with Celestia.
Twilight shifted as gently as she could, trying to slide off of Princess Celestia, but two hooves firmly grasped her and pulled her in close. Twilight found herself on the receiving end of a cuddly embrace from Celestia. She winced, squirming slightly, but Celestia’s grasp only tightened. Celestia hummed happily, hugging Twilight to her chest as a smile stretched across her face.
With a sigh of resignation, Twilight did her best to make herself comfortable. She obviously was going to be stuck for a while.
Author's Note
Sorry for the long hiatus, folks, but we're back on track once more! I've finally settled into my job, and things are going really well, so expect to see this story update more regularly.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Pinkie Pie power-slid through the door of Celestia’s room, depositing Rarity in a heap on the floor in front of Princess Luna. With a cocky grin, she reached for the brim of her fedora, only to discover it missing. Pinkie Pie gasped and spun around, facing the slowly closing bedroom door, and reached one hoof back into the dark room. She snatched her hoof away at the last possible second as the door shut, barely retrieving the dropped fedora, which she planted back on her candyfloss mane. She spun with a happy flounce to face the incredulous, stunned faces of her three friends and Princess Luna. “It belongs in a museum!”
“H-huh?” sputtered Rainbow Dash.
“Uh, the decor in there. Duh! Celestia’s room needs some serious redecorating. Maybe some streamers…” Pinkie muttered, her tone pensive as she toyed with the brim of her fedora.
“Where is Twilight Sparkle?” asked Luna.
“Oh, she’s still in there,” Pinkie Pie said with a wave of her hoof.
“S-shouldn’t we go get her?” said Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie looked back towards the door, running a hoof along her chin as she considered Fluttershy’s suggestion seriously. Finally, with a happy grin, she declared, “Nope!”
“Shall we... assume there is good reason to leave Princess Sparkle in mine sister’s bedchamber ?” Luna said, drawing her words out slowly.
“She’s a bit wrapped up right now. She’ll figure a way out of it. After all, she’s Twilight!”
“Verily…” Princess Luna crouched down, examining the still-sleeping form of Rarity.
“So, what d'ya reckon is wrong with Rarity, Princess Luna?” asked Applejack, eyeing her snoring friend.
Luna trotted a slow circle around Rarity, eyeing her warily. “I am uncertain, fair Applejack, but I know a few spells that may help ascertain the root of the issue.”
With that, Luna stood at Rarity’s head, her wings flaring out as her horn began to glow with arcane energies. Rarity’s whole body was enveloped with a dark blue shimmer for several moments before Luna turned away from the sleeping unicorn, breaking off the spell. The hallway stayed quiet, except for the nervous shifting sounds of the Solar Guards trying not to watch the spectacle before them, before Applejack finally spoke up. “Well?”
“Thy friend is cursed,” Luna stated quietly.
“Beg pardon?” said Applejack, ears lying flat.
Luna faced the four friends, face grim. “She bears a dark and powerful curse, one that is beyond the limit of mine powers.”
“Woah, wait, beyond your power? How is that even possible? Aren’t you, like, awesomeness and radicalness ponified ?” blurted Rainbow Dash, eyes wide.
“Verily, we art… full of the radicalness,” Luna said carefully, as if uncertain of the use of the word, “yet there are magics that are beyond even the likes of Celestia and I. Old magics that are from times before even the Alicorns.”
“Before the alicorns? B-but, oh, that’s… a very, very long time ago, isn’t it?” asked Fluttershy.
“Indeed, even before mine sister and I were the regents of this land, and before Discord himself.”
“Wowie-zowie, that’s old!” Pinkie said with a giggle, before giving Luna an exaggerated wink, “Oh, but don’t worry, you don’t look a day over three hundred.”
Luna frowned at Pinkie Pie briefly, before glancing toward the rest of the group. “Your loud friend is correct; that makes this curse upon thy friend very old, indeed.”
“That’s impossible! Rarity may be the oldest one of us girls, but she ain’t ancient! She’s twenty-five, for pete’s sake!” Applejack protested, one hoof stomping the floor.
“You are correct, which is why the circumstance is so troubling. We suggest that we retire to the Royal Canterlot Archive, where we may find answers to the questions we have,” Luna said.
“Do you mean ‘we’ like ‘you’ or, ‘we’ like ‘all of us girls?’” asked Pinkie Pie, her head tilting to one side slowly.
“I mean it in the group sense, and not the Royal We.” Luna looked pensively back towards the doors to Celestia’s bedchambers. “Tis too bad that Princess Sparkle is indisposed. We’ll have to search the archive stacks and restricted sections, and her knowledge of all things library-related would have served us well.”
“We’re just going to leave Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
Luna glanced at Pinkie Pie. “Unless Miss Pie believes she can retrieve Princess Sparkle…?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Nopey-dopey-lopey! She’s wrapped up tighter than… uh… something Applejack would say is tight.”
“Balin’ wire in a hayloft,” Applejack supplied with a curt nod.
“Yeah! That!” Pinkie Pie sighed wistfully. “How can you be so good at those down-homey farm-type similes, but I can’t think up one to save my life? We’re related for pony’s sake!”
“Your side of the family must’a gotten the… uh… bakin’ genes,” Applejack ventured slowly.
“Regardless of genetic lineage and colorful simile use, I feel it is urgent we discover the cause of Lady Rarity’s plight as soon as we can,” Luna said, gesturing towards the hall’s exit and the Royal Canterlot Archive.
Rainbow Dash swooped down and picked up Rarity, hauling her onto her back carefully so as not to wake the sleeping unicorn. “Princess Luna’s right. We gotta get Rarity back to normal. After all, her having some sorta creepy old curse is totally, uh, uncouth . And you know Rarity! She’s all about… um… couth-ness.”
“I don’t think that’s a word,” murmured Fluttershy.
“Well, it is now. Let’s mosey!”
With that, Rainbow Dash sped away, carrying Rarity towards the Archive. Princess Luna looked to the rest of the group with an arched brow. “I suppose we’re leaving Princess Sparkle here, then. Let’s, as you say, mosey!”
Luna sighed as she set aside yet another dusty tome of ancient magic theory, adding it to the growing pile of scrolls, books, and papers. Glancing up at the moon, she judged the time to be somewhere near the early morning, perhaps an hour before sunrise. The Royal Canterlot Archive was proving to be a monumental waste of time. Rainbow Dash lay on her back, holding one book up above her head in her forehooves, but Luna noticed that that she hadn’t turned a page in nearly twenty minutes. Nearby, Applejack silently mouthed words, eyes squinting as she puzzled her way through perhaps only her fourth or fifth book. Fluttershy had dutifully worked her way through a sizeable stack of books, but had come up empty. Pinkie Pie… was gone. Something about ‘brain food.’
Beneath the table, Rarity quietly snored, both forelegs wrapped around Luna’s left rear hoof, cheek resting against her fetlock. Luna had attempted to shake her off, twice, but each time had found the slumbering unicorn clutching at her hooves yet again within a matter of moments. Deciding it was better to let cursed unicorns lie, she allowed the undignified snuggling of her hoof to continue.
Shaking her head, Luna stood up from the table she had situated the group around, taking a moment to slide her rear leg out of Rarity’s grasp. She approached the towering stacks of scrolls that made up the restricted section of the archive, utilizing a silent spell to open the gate protecting the ancient manuscripts. She wandered between the rows upon rows of bronze-capped papers, pausing occasionally to peruse a section at random. Closing her eyes, Luna summoned her magic and pulled a section of a dozen scrolls loose from their holders. Her dexterous magical manipulation unrolled all the papers simultaneously, revealing the faded ink writing. She spared a quick glance at the first few lines of each manuscript, hoping to find anything useful.
“Celery?” offered Pinkie Pie from directly over Luna’s shoulder.
With an arched brow, Luna glanced away from the scrolls, gazing on the smiling pony bearing a tray of vegetables. “How did you manage to acquire chopped vegetables at this odd hour?”
“Well, I’ve got a long answer and a short one, but since you look busy let’s not worry about it! Celery?”
Luna took the offered celery stalk, crunching down on the petiole with a satisfying snap. She munched on the food pensively, looking over the scrolls with quick efficiency. Finding nothing, she carefully closed all twelve scrolls and returned them to the stack, retrieving another group for perusal.
“So, any luck?” asked Pinkie Pie, head tilting to the side.
“Unfortunately, no,” Luna said sharply, ears flattening back.
Pinkie Pie flinched back from her snappy reply, nearly stumbling over her own hooves and dropping the tray. She managed a midair pirouette that recovered the falling tray and rebalanced herself. Luna sighed. “I apologize, Miss Pie. I know that each member of this group is contributing in her own way, but we could have used another pair of eyes to search the library for tomes regarding curses.”
“Well, I found a ton of stuff earlier, but when I showed Applejack she gave me that look that ponies give me sometimes when they don’t understand me,” Pinkie Pie said, eyes downcast.
“What, pray tell, did thou discover?” Luna asked, only half paying attention as she continued to read the floating scrolls unfurled before her.
“Well, I thought about what you said, about Rarity being under a curse and stuff, and I don’t know much about magic, but I do know a lot about bedtime stories, and Granny Pie used to tell me all kinds of stuff about fair damsels in distress and old curses and sleeping for a hundred years, typical stuff, but then I thought about it and said to myself, ‘well, Rarity’s a damsel, and the boys always look at her like she’s pretty fair—if ya get my drift—and what with her being cursed and sleepy and all that, maybe there’s something in the little filly’s section that can help us!’ So I pranced over to the kiddie books and grabbed everything they had on narcoleptic ladies with a history of making scary witches angry!”
Luna looked askance at Pinkie Pie for a moment. “Did you, now?”
“Yupperooni! And wouldn’t you know it, there was a buncha stuff on how to lift nasty curses on pretty ponies who are getting too much beauty sleep!”
Luna stared at Pinkie Pie. “... There was?”
“Yeah!”
After a moment of quiet consideration, Luna gestured back towards the table where the other mares were working. “Well, show me thy discovery. Perhaps thy... unorthodox approach may be of help.”
Pinkie Pie beamed from ear to ear as she hopped her way over to a stack of books beneath the table, grabbing one at random and placing it on the table. “See, this one’s got lots of pretty pictures!”
Luna stared aghast at the gold filigree of an ancient illuminated manuscript. “Pinkie Pie, this isn’t a children’s book! This is an ancient treatise on curse breaking written by Clover the Clever!”
“Oh. Well, you could’a fooled me!”
Luna poured over the tome, her magic flipping the pages as she searched. “Sloth… slowness… ah ha! Sleep!”
Applejack peered up at Luna from her stack of books. “Ya find somethin’?”
“Miss Pie may have found what we require! A book of curse breaking, written in the time after Equestria was founded, but prior to the reign of mine sister and I.”
The group gathered close, crowding around Luna as she read, brow furrowed in concentration. “It has written here several methods of breaking the curse of magical sleep which are known to me… wait. Here!”
Luna read aloud. “There is yet another curse, one of terrible power, which was wrought upon ponykind long before the founding of our homeland of Equestria; the lineage of Princess Platinum was struck with a strange sleep that brought the second-born mares of the family from their beds in the middle of the night, transporting them across great distances to homes and cities hither and yon, with no rhyme nor reason!”
“That sounds like our curse, all right. How do we break it?” asked Rainbow Dash, leaning forward intently.
“A moment… it says here that the symptoms came and persisted for stretches of time, but always abated within the mare’s lifetime. The curse was passed from generation to generation, and no way to break it was ever found.”
“Just a moment. You said… second born mares were affected?” asked Fluttershy.
“Indeed, that is what the book says.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Rarity isn’t the second born mare of her family.”
Luna frowned, glancing at Fluttershy. “She is not?”
“No. If what you’re reading is right, and this is the curse that is affecting Rarity, then something is wrong. The second born mare in her family is…”
Sweetie Belle tossed and turned in her sleep, mumbling in a squeaky voice. “Mmmgh... n-no, Button, the creepers… are pooping diamonds…”
With a dainty gasp, she awoke, sitting up in her bed quickly and shrieking, “Ahhhhhh! ”
The door to Sweetie Belle’s room opened, and Cookie Crumbles walked in, her glowing horn lighting up the room. “Honey, what have we told you about screaming!”
“Ah! M-Mom! I’m sorry, it just slipped out!” Sweetie Belle wailed, tearing up.
Cookie smiled reassuringly at her quivering daughter. “Oh, honey,” she murmured, sitting down on the edge of Sweetie Belle’s bed and holding her close. “Your father and I haven’t done all this work all these years just for you to slip up in your sleep. Self control is part of being a lady, and that includes your waking and sleeping thoughts.”
“I know, mommy,” Sweetie Belle said quietly.
“After all, we’re counting on you to be our perfect little filly,” she cooed, pinching one of Sweetie Belle’s cheeks slightly harder than was perhaps necessary.
“Ngh, I know, mommy. It’s just hard, sometimes,” Sweetie Belle said with a perfectly adorable and very well practiced pout.
“Hm, well, I’m sure you can do better,” Cookie said gently, before glancing out a nearby window at the black night sky. “For all our sakes.”
Sweetie Belle shivered.
Author's Note
With deepest apologies to Indigo Eclipse for blatantly stealing the title to his excellent story, To Love The Moon .
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
As Celestia awoke, she realized two Things very quickly. These things were the pressing sort of Things that required her immediate attention; the sort of things that tended to mean her day wasn’t going to be the greatest, in the grand scheme of Things.
The First Thing was that she had awoken early . This, in and of itself, was a disturbing occurrence. For hundreds of years, she had kept to a rigorous sleep schedule, and always woke precisely an hour before dawn. This hour was important, as it allowed her time enough to make herself presentable and acquire her morning tea, as well as a short briefing on the night court’s activity and other upcoming political matters. To awake late was frustrating, but recoverable. To awake early , however?
It meant that she was losing sleep, and thus would have to face the day that much more exhausted, and the repercussions of an early awakening stretched through her entire day.
It was her Least Favorite Thing.
The Second Thing was an equally disturbing thing requiring her immediate attention, however, because she had awoken in bed with somepony else . This somepony else was on the small side, but possessed wings. Celestia knew this thanks to the wing currently prodding into her barrel, slightly tickling her with the light brush of primary feathers. Furthermore, there was a foreleg thrown over her chest, and a muzzle pressed against her neck.
This explained why she’d awoken early , at least. And, moreover, gave her a target for her immediate and growing ire.
Celestia sat bolt-upright in bed, her grand wings splaying open and her mane billowing menacingly as she exuded a golden halo of light from her being. Her rose eyes shone with brilliant white plasma, channeling the raging inferno of the sun, and she turned to face her cuddly assailant. “Who dares intrude on —Twilight?”
Princess Twilight Sparkle yelped as Celestia’s enraged voice shattered her slumber, and she leapt into the air, fluttered her wings ineffectually, and ended up in a blanket-tangled heap on the rug at the foot of the bed.
Celestia rapidly scaled back her fury to a more appropriate level, dismissing the boiling blast of solar energy that she’d been brewing up for whatever fool had thought to break into her bedchamber and… snuggle her. After all, it wouldn’t do to immolate her co-regent, not to mention it would be utterly inappropriate to do so without giving her a chance to explain. However, she was still upset. Because waking up early was Least Favorite of Things.
“Princess Celestia! I’m so, so sorry! I can explain!” groveled Twilight, twisting in a circle and disentangling herself from the blankets to prostrate herself before her beloved mentor.
Celestia suppressed an airy laugh. Twilight could be so... adorable sometimes. Celestia ignored the motherly instinct to scoop Twilight into a hug. Instead, she arched a single eyebrow imperiously, tapping one hoof on the floor. “I’m listening.” This, Celestia decided, had to be good.
Twilight started to stand up, decided against it when she caught sight of Celestia’s expression, and fumbled back into a low bow. “You see, well… it’s a long story.”
Celestia glanced at the position of the moon. “I’ve been awoken a full thirty minutes early. I have time.”
Twilight inhaled deeply, gathering her thoughts, and began. “Well, you see, my friend Rarity has been disappearing at night, and mysteriously appearing at my and my other friend’s homes to… ah… cuddle us. I was actually in the middle of a case-study when I observed Rarity disappearing out of thin air, and that’s when I got a message from Princess Luna, who—”
Celestia held up a hoof. “Stop.”
Twilight stopped, her ears drooping. “I’m so sorry, I—”
“Shhh,” Celestia said, stepping closer to Twilight, hoof still raised.
“But I—”
“Shoosh.” Celestia placed a hoof over Twilight’s flapping mouth, effectively silencing her and cutting off any possible rebuttal. Once Celestia was sure Twilight wasn’t going to try to speak, she continued. “This explanation requires tea. Because—at this moment—I require tea. So please, shush, and continue to do so until I’ve got a piping hot cup of something strong in my hooves.”
With that, Celestia turned away, trotting towards the palace kitchens. Twilight watched her go for a brief moment, at a loss for words, before mumbling to herself, “Wow. Luna was right. She really isn’t a morning pony.”
Princess Luna glanced out the windows of the library, noting that it was nearly dawn. They had spent the rest of the night researching the so-called “Platinum Curse”, and had come up with…
“Nothin’! Hours of searchin’ and readin’ everything on that darn curse, and we’re just as in the dark as when we first found out about it!” groused Applejack, slapping down a book onto a nearby reading table and slumping to her haunches.
All the girls groaned in various tones of sympathy and exasperation, excepting Rarity herself, who still snored on, clinging to Princess Luna’s rear leg as Luna sat at a desk. Luna sighed, pushing away a stack of tomes of ancient research on the curse. “From what we’ve read, we can discern that nopony in those times had discovered the cause of—nor cure for—the curse. Which, verily, leaves us with more questions than answers.”
“I just don’t understand how nopony ever figured it out,” said Rainbow Dash from her position on the floor, surrounded by high stacks of books that nearly obscured the colorful pegasus mare.
Luna arched an eyebrow at the large number of books around Rainbow Dash. “Thou seem to have read more than the rest of us, Rainbow Dash. Hast thou any insights that we may have missed?”
“Nah,” Rainbow Dash said, throwing up a few more books around the pile. “I got bored an hour ago and made a fort.”
Applejack gawked at her friend’s towering book pile for a moment before scowling. “Rainbow Dash! How is buildin’ a fort gonna help Rarity? You’re supposed to be the loyal one!”
“Applejack, let’s face it: we’ve been at this for hours, and all the books we read said the same thing, in more-or-less the same way: the old-timey ponies didn’t know squat . So, reading isn’t going to help Rarity at all, which means we should have started doing something else hours ago,” Rainbow Dash reasoned as she folded a little paper flag out of some index cards and placed it atop the walls of her ‘fort’.
Luna frowned at Rainbow Dash, approaching the fort of books. Rarity clung tighter to Luna’s rear hoof and was drug along behind the princess. “Indeed? Then what, pray tell, dost thou suggest would better serve our time?”
Rainbow Dash reared onto her hind legs, resting her forehooves on the walls of the fort. “We need to go back to ponyville and talk to Rarity’s parents. Duh!”
Pinkie Pie suddenly exploded through the rear wall of Rainbow Dash’s book fort. “Oh yeah! That’s a great idea!”
Rainbow Dash gasped as her friend collapsed part of her fort. “Fort Kickflank! Aw, dang it, Pinkie!”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “Sorry, Dashie, I couldn’t help myself. But it’s still a great idea!”
Luna nodded, taking a wary step away from the unstable book pile. “Indubitably. I, however, will no longer be able to assist you. I must away to report to Celestia on the goings-on of the night court, as well as relay to her the nature of this curse thy friend is under.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Fluttershy said, peering over one corner of the barely standing book battlement, “You’ve been wonderful so far, and you read so much trying to help us.”
Luna smiled gently at Fluttershy. “I did what I could, though I fear it was not sufficient. However, thy friend is correct: at this juncture, the best course of action is to speak with Lady Rarity’s family. They must have some insight into this strange course of events.”
Fluttershy’s brow furrowed in concern. “It still doesn’t make a lot of sense that Rarity is being affected by the curse, if its historically only passed to the second female foal in the line.”
“Well, maybe Rarity’s parents know something we don’t. Maybe she has an older sister!” said Rainbow Dash, floating out of her fort with a flap of her wings to join the rest of the group.
Applejack snorted derisively. “Oh, c’mon, Dash. Ah think if Rarity had a older sister, we would’a heard about her by now.”
“Wellllll, there was that one time that Twilight revealed that she had an older brother out of nowhere, after we’d spent nearly a whole two seasons hanging out together as friends!” Pinkie Pie declared, bouncing through the front wall of the fort in a hail of books that sent the rest of the impromptu structure into a collapse.
“Seasons?” Luna asked, confusion evident in her narrowed eyes and cocked ears.
“Y’know. Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall?” Pinkie Pie said.
“Oh. Of course,” Luna said, though her expression didn’t change. “Thou art an odd one, Miss Pie.”
“You say true, I say thankya!” Pinkie said, beaming at the princess.
Luna glanced down at her rear leg, frowning as the sleeping Rarity nuzzled against her fetlock. “Before I go, fair Fluttershy, wouldst thou… extricate me from the clutches of thy friend?”
Fluttershy giggled, daintily stepping around the fallen book fort to reach Luna. “Oh, of course.”
Fluttershy bent down, carefully prying Rarity’s forelegs from around Princess Luna’s rear leg—surreptitiously wiping away a bit of drool from Luna’s fetlock—and pulled her friend onto her back. Rarity grumbled slightly before burying her muzzle in Fluttershy’s long mane and returning to a deep sleep.
Luna shook her head as she took a step back to look at Rarity. “A strange affliction, indeed. I wish you all the best of luck. Mine sister will check on thy progress once her royal duties are complete, I am certain.”
“Thanks again for your help, Princess. Y’ didn’t need t’ go through all the trouble, but it’s mighty appreciated,” Applejack said, bowing before the Princess of the Night.
“Yeah, thanks a bunch, Princess Luna. Maybe some night you can stop by Ponyville and check out a few of my nighttime flight tricks,” Rainbow Dash added.
“Or come and have a cup of hot cocoa at Sugarcube Corner!” said Pinkie Pie, grinning and bouncing happily.
A happy smile spread slowly across Princess Luna’s face, a hoof going to her chest. “Thank you, all. Best of luck in thy quest.”
With that, Princess Luna trotted away, a happy bounce in her step. The group of ponies watched her leave, before Applejack spoke up. “Dang it.”
“What?” asked Fluttershy, ears folding back in concern.
“She was our ride here!”
A few hours later, the Ponyville Express pulled into Ponyville Station, a haze of early-morning fog and locomotive steam intermixing in eddies and swirls. Five mares exited one of the passenger cars, stepping onto the platform. Rarity led the group, looking rather disheveled, while Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash simply appeared exhausted from their research and the subsequent train ride. Only Pinkie Pie seemed unaffected, prancing and bouncing in circles and laughing at nothing at all. Rarity spoke first as they moved away from the loud engine car and into the relative quiet of the early morning streets of their hometown. “So, you’re telling me that this curse has no known counter?”
Applejack nodded, suppressing a yawn. “Eeyup. They couldn’t ever break the curse, but th’ curse would eventually disappear until it passed on to the next second-born filly.”
“But Applejack, dear, that still doesn’t make any sense. Sweetie Belle is the second-born filly in my family!”
“That’s why we need to talk to your parents,” Fluttershy said, her wings drooping slightly as she trudged alongside Applejack.
“I dunno about you guys,” Rainbow Dash began, pausing mid-sentence to stretch and yawn, “but I could use a nap.”
“But Rainbow Dash, you all know more about this mess than I do! I, embarrassingly, slept through your whole study session with Princess Luna,” Rarity said, flushing slightly as her ears canted back.
“Yeah, well, while you got your forty winks and snuggled the heck out of Princess Luna’s fetlocks, we were awake. And as much as I’m sure talking to your parents will clear up a few things, we could probably stand to get a few hours of rest before. I mean, it’s still early in the morning, they might not even be up yet,” Rainbow Dash replied.
Rarity sighed. “That may very well be true. My parents are not early risers, and—wait,” She froze in place, eyes growing wide. “I… snuggled the Princess’s fetlocks ?!”
“Uh, yeah? Rarity, Fluttershy literally had to pry you off her. This curse may not be all that dangerous, but Celestia is it weird,” Rainbow Dash said, smirking blearily at her aghast friend.
Rarity stood stock still for several long moments, her pupils slowly shrinking, before she stomped a hoof on the ground. “No. We are not stopping for a nap. We need answers, and we need them now ! Before I snuggle again!”
Fluttershy approached her friend, her wings fluttering nervously. “N-now, Rarity, I know you’re embarrassed, but maybe you’re being the teeny-tiniest little bit too overzealous? We’re all very tired, and—”
“Fluttershy, darling, I love you, but I was just informed that I snuggled one of the co-regents of the realm for the better part of the evening. I believe that I have every right to want that sort of nonsense to stop, and quickly, before I end up in bed with somepony else equally embarrassing!” Rarity said, stomping her hoof again for emphasis.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that, Rarity!” Pinkie Pie chimed in happily.
Rarity slowly turned to stare at Pinkie Pie. Behind Rarity, unbeknownst to her, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash suddenly jumped together, frantically gesturing at Pinkie Pie to ‘be quiet ’. Rarity spoke after a strained moment of Pinkie Pie staring over her shoulder. “What, pray tell, is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, only that you started out the night in Princess Celestia’s bed! And, boy, did you look comfy !” chirped Pinkie Pie, beaming at her friend.
The three ponies behind Rarity all slumped in defeat, as Rarity froze in place once more. “I—but… in… Celestia’s bed ?”
“Yep!”
“W-with… the princess ?” stammered Rarity, her legs shaking.
“You betcha!”
Rarity’s horn sparkled briefly with a sapphire aura, just strong enough to summon her red velvet fainting couch, which she promptly swooned onto. The girls were silent for a moment.
“So, does this mean we get to take a nap?” asked Rainbow Dash.
An hour and a decent nap later, Rarity led Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie to her parent’s house on the far edge of Ponyville, trotting determinedly through the streets. The populace of Ponyville retreated to their homes, and for good reason; when the Elements of Harmony were out in force like that, there was no doubting that trouble was soon to follow. Shops closed in their wake, doors slammed, foals were pulled inside, and soon the town was silent, waiting for the bit to drop.
As they neared Rarity’s parents house along the river, they could hear bubbly giggling and happy—if inappropriately loud—chattering. Turning the corner, they came upon Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. The three fillies stood behind a makeshift stall, talking animatedly to one another as they worked on making what appeared to be lemonade.
“I’m telling ya, girls, this time we’ve gotta be onta somethin’!” Applebloom said happily as she worked on juicing lemons.
“Yeah, I think so too, but… what do ‘small business’ cutie marks even look like?” asked Scootaloo as she put the finishing touches on a sign that proudly displayed ‘lemmonaid 1 bit’.
“Probably something like Rarity’s cutie mark! She’s an on-tray-planner!” squeaked Sweetie Belle as she nailed an extra nail into a board supporting the corner of the stand.
Rarity approached the stand, smiling sweetly at the trio. “Hello girls!”
The three fillies looked up from their work and leapt up as one unit.
“Heya Rainbow Dash!”
“Rarity! We’re trying to get our cutie marks!”
“Applejack! You ain’t mad at me for sellin’ lemons, are ya?”
Rarity interrupted any replies that may have been forthcoming. “I’m sorry, darlings, but we’re in a bit of a hurry. Sweetie, do you know if mom and dad are home?”
Sweetie beamed up at her sister. “Yep! They’re in the den, watching one of dad’s old sports reels!”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Of course they are. Thank you, Sweetie Belle!”
“Wait, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle said, dashing out in front of her sister, “We’re starting a small business to try to get on-tray-planner cutie marks like yours! Do you have a moment to talk about investment opportunities?”
Rarity giggled. “Oh, Sweetie, that’s adorable, but I think you should focus on selling your product, first.”
Sweetie Belle grinned brightly, “I knew you’d have good advice!”
“Of course, dear,” Rarity said, patting her sister on the head, “Oh, and Sweetie Belle?”
“Yes, Rarity?” said Sweetie Belle, eyes wide.
“It’s pronounced ‘entrepreneur’.”
Rarity trotted away, leading Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie towards her parents’ home. They missed how Sweetie Belle’s smiling face twisted into one of terror, and how she whispered, “I-I did something… wrong?”
Rarity paused at the front door of her parents house, long enough to knock once before pushing open the door and gesturing her friends inside.
“Rarity, don’t you think it’s polite to wait?” asked Fluttershy, giving a concerned look into the interior of the house.
“Fluttershy, stop and listen for a moment,” Rarity said, pointing towards the house.
The unmistakable sound of a roaring crowd and yelling announcers filled the home, along with a more pointed hollering of a large stallion. “C’mon, pass that thing! Here, honey, here comes the good part!”
“They’d never hear us knocking. Trust me, once my father starts his sports reels, he’s in a whole different world,” Rarity said dryly, before leading her friends inside.
The interior of the house was… unexpected. The walls of the mud room that greeted the ponies was full of sports jackets and caps emblazoned with a similar team logo. Rainbow Dash stepped closer to one, smirking. “Wow, your old man must really like the Canterlot Knights.”
“Yes, how… astute of you,” Rarity grumbled, ignoring the massive banner strung overhead that read ‘Go Knights!’ in bold letters.
“I love sports! It’s like a party with rules and points and stuff!” cheered Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, I’m not much of a fan. Too many ponies all close together,” murmured Fluttershy, shrinking down slightly in the presence of so much sports memorabilia.
“Well, yer dad has good taste. Canterlot Knights are a fine team,” Applejack said, nodding in approval.
“Yes, indeed. Come along, girls, let’s not get caught up in the spectacle of it all,” Rarity said, walking down a hallway and pushing open the door to a larger room.
The sound of grunting stallions and the crash of pads increased exponentially as the door opened. This room was filled with shelves upon shelves of sports trophies, bronzed hoofballs, helmets, and team jerseys and photos. One wall, however, was completely empty aside from a projector screen and two speakers. The opposite wall held a long couch with two end tables and the projector itself, which was currently playing a reel of some long-ago hoofball match. On this couch sat two ponies: one a white-coated, brown-maned stallion with an impressive mustache and a trio of hoofballs for a cutie mark. The other was a pink-coated, violet-maned mare with a beehive hairdo and a trio of cookies for a cutie mark. They were watching the sports reel with great enthusiasm. “C’mon boys, buck that guard and go for the ball!” hollered the stallion.
“Oh, look at those stallions run!” cheered the mare, clapping her hooves together.
Rarity sighed, before clearing her throat loudly. “Mother, Father, I’m here!”
The stallion fumbled with the projector for a moment before halting the reel and silencing the sound, leaving behind a deafening quiet. He beamed over the projector at Rarity. “Heya, hon!”
“Honey! Welcome home!” the mare said, jumping off of the couch to give Rarity a hug, which Rarity returned gingerly.
Rarity released her mother from the embrace after a moment, frowning slightly. “Mother, Father, these are my friends, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. Girls, these are my parents, Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles.”
Hondo leapt up off the sofa and offered enthusiastic hoof-bumps to all of the girls. “Nice ta meet’cha! Any friend of Rarity is welcome in our home!”
“Likewise,” Applejack said, returning the hoof-bump.
“I like your style,” Rainbow Dash chimed in, nodding to the trophies on the walls.
“I’m super-duper excited to meet you, too!” Pinkie Pie cheered, nearly leaping into a hug with Hondo before Rarity stretched out a hoof and held her friend back.
Fluttershy squeaked and ducked behind Rainbow Dash as Hondo offered her a hoof-bump, the large stallion nearly a head taller than the demure pegasus. Cookie giggled slightly, playfully slapping her husband on the shoulder. “Oh, Hondo, don’t be so boisterous! Look, you’re scaring the little yellow one.”
Hondo smiled bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, sorry about that.”
“N-not at all, I’m sorry!” Fluttershy murmured, still hiding behind a bemused Rainbow Dash.
“Honey, what brings you home today?” asked Cookie.
“Well, mother, it’s a rather serious matter, I’m afraid,” Rarity began.
Cookie seemed nonplussed by this statement. “Oh?”
“Yes. You see, something has happened to me that’s rather disconcerting,” Rarity said quietly.
Hondo suddenly bristled. “Is it a stallion? Oh boy, if somepony laid a hoof on my little girl, they’ve got another thing coming!”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “No. Not stallion problems, father, though I appreciate your enthusiasm. You see, I’ve discovered that I’ve become the subject of a rather ancient and powerful curse.”
The smiles on Rarity’s parents’ faces froze, and an almost unreadable look passed between the two of them. Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she gauged their reactions. After a moment, Cookie spoke up, her voice just as chipper as before. “Oho, dear, that’s impossible!”
Rarity smiled too-sweetly. “I’m afraid not, mother. You see, I’ve been having the unfortunate experience of being whisked into the beds of other ponies in the middle of the night.”
Hondo glanced at his wife, his smile disappearing. He took a step closer to Rarity, placing a hoof on her shoulder. “You’ve… been appearing in other ponies beds?”
“Oh, yes, very much so. Disappearing and reappearing in the blink of an eye, curled up and snuggling with another pony in my sleep,” Rarity said cooly.
Cookie winced. “Snuggling?”
“Snuggling,” confirmed Rarity.
“B-but, that can’t be!” Hondo cried, staring aghast at his wife.
Cookie shook her head. “Don’t look at me! It’s supposed to be Sweetie Belle!”
“How could we have gotten it wrong? Sweetie Belle is our second daughter!” Hondo said, obviously shocked.
Rarity and the rest of the girls stared at her parents, eyes wide and jaws open. Rarity was the first to recover. “You… you knew about the curse?!”
Cookie turned to face her daughter. “W-well, of course we knew, dear! We’ve always known!”
“It’s our sacred duty, don’t’cha know!” said Hondo, placing one hoof on his chest solemnly.
Rarity fell back on her haunches, fanning her face with one hoof. “W-what? You never told me I was cursed!”
“Of course we didn’t, honey! You’re the first born! You’re blessed to never have to deal with the rigorous training of the second born!” Hondo said, patting Rarity gently on the shoulder.
Rarity recoiled from her father’s touch. “What? Training?”
Hondo and Cookie shared a glance. “Well,” spoke Cookie after a moment, “I suppose the cake’s out of the oven, now.”
“There’s cake involved? That’s my kinda curse!” said Pinkie Pie with a happy bounce.
“It’s an idiom, hun,” said Cookie gently. “It means that we’ve been keeping a secret, but we can’t anymore.”
“Pfft, duh. I know what an idiom is! My Daddy Pie always called me that when I’d goof off on the rock farm!”
Cookie stared at Pinkie Pie for a moment, one eyebrow slowly raising, before Rarity cleared her throat. “Please, don’t mind Pinkie Pie. You were saying, about the curse…?”
“Yes. The curse. The Platinum Curse…” Cookie trailed off for a moment as she closed her eyes.
“It all began long ago, before the age of the Royal Sisters, in the time before Equestria was founded. The three tribes of Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earth Pony had not yet bonded together in Harmony, and cold suffused the land, just like in the tales of Hearth’s Warming,” Cookie said softly.
“The line of Platinum was desperate to find a way, any way, to break the cold and gain power over the other tribes. They had tried every magic they could think of, save one,” Hondo continued, walking towards the far wall where the projector screen lay.
“Binding magic,” said Cookie, quietly.
The girls all gasped. Rainbow Dash spoke up first. “Woah, wait, what’s Binding magic? I mean, uh… pretend that I don’t know what that is. Because... I totally do.”
“Binding magic,” spoke Hondo, pulling a cord on the projector screen that sent it rolling up near the ceiling and revealing a door in the wall behind the screen, “is a dark and terrible magic that has been outlawed for centuries.”
“It calls upon dark and terrible powers from beyond the known realm. Some say that it was binding magic that brought Discord into this world,” said Cookie, moving to the door and producing a key, hidden inside her mane.
Hondo took the key, unlocking the door and opening it as he continued to explain. “The line of Platinum made a terrible sacrifice to a dark, snuggly power hundreds of years ago, offering their second born filly to the cuddly tendrils of this dark being.”
“Wait, hold up a second,” interrupted Rainbow Dash, her ears cocking back, “did you say it was a dark, snuggly power?”
“The darkest and cuddliest of all the powers from the edge of the Cuddleverse,” Cookie said in hushed tones, reaching behind the door and pulling out a large chest as she spoke, locked with two separate horn-lock mechanisms.
“Cuddleverse?” said Applejack, trying to suppress a smirk and failing.
“Indeed,” said Hondo, not catching Applejack’s amused tone.
“Oh, that sounds nice,” said Fluttershy with a happy flutter of her wings.
“That sounds lame ,” groused Rainbow Dash.
“No! Not nice! Not lame!” said Cookie. “It’s a terrible place, full of the unending mass that is the Lord Of A Thousand Hugs!”
“The Crochet Cuddler!” rasped Hondo, as he placed his horn into one of the locks.
“He with Infinite Knit Appendages!” whispered Cookie, as she placed her horn in the second lock.
The two unicorns spoke as one. “Snuggoth.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Lame .”
With a burst of magic, the chest opened.
Author's Note
Greetings to my followers, friends, and readers! Sorry about the long delay, but we're back on track with the chapter I've been anticipating writing since I began this story.
Let's get this cuddle party started, shall we?
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Cookie and Hondo reached into the chest and withdrew a riotous mass of different colored fabric. They shook out the strange garments, revealing them to be knit, multicolored, hooded robes. The two older ponies donned the robes and stood before the girls, their expressions solemn. Rarity recoiled from them, her nose wrinkling. “Ugh, what are those atrocious things you’re wearing?”
“They’re the venerable robes of our order, the Cult of Hug-Snuggoth, hon,” said Hondo, itching at the wooly cloth.
“We must wear them when discussing Cult business, don'tcha know,” added Cookie with an uncomfortable smile.
“Wait, you’re part of a cult?” said Applejack, ears folding back.
“That’s super weird,” murmured Rainbow Dash.
Hondo raised a hoof, “Not weird, necessary! When an elder snugglegod from the edge of the cuddleverse demands fealty or the sacrifice of your second-born daughter, you do what you need to do.”
“Now, hold on one minute!” Rarity snapped, stomping her hoof. “You’re part of a cult ? And it requires sacrifices?! How could you have kept this from me for so long?”
Hondo and Cookie glanced at each other before regarding their daughter solemnly. Hondo said quietly, “We’re sorry, Rarity, but we didn’t want to burden you with something that was never supposed to be your load to bear.”
Cookie patted Rarity on the shoulder. “And it doesn’t require sacrifices as long as we follow the rules and rites passed down to us!”
“You were never supposed to be involved, dearest, but with the Platinum Curse passing to you, well… I’m afraid the snuggly tendril of He-Who-Must-Be-Cuddled has marked you as chosen.”
“Chosen? Chosen for what?” asked Rarity.
“Well…” Hondo hesitated to speak.
“Y’all ‘ve been awfully cryptic,” Applejack said, “and I know that y’ just want what’s best for Rarity. I understand being protective of your kin. But I’ve also know that sometimes you’ve gotta let go, too.”
“Rarity is a very strong pony, and I’m sure she won’t blame you for anything you’ve done to protect her from this curse,” said Fluttershy.
“Besides, she has all of us to help her! We’re super-duper good at getting things like this figured out in, like, twenty-two minutes,” added Pinkie Pie with a grin.
“Plus, if there’s some way we can help, we’d like to do what we can,” Rainbow Dash stated, grinning.
Cookie’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Oh, you have the most wonderful friends, Rarity!”
“Yeah, we’re awesome like that,” Rainbow Dash preened.
Hondo sighed and placed a hoof on Rarity’s shoulders. “We told you of the origin of the curse… but the reality is that we don’t really know much about it. You see, for generations, the second branch of the Platinum family has always been able to avert the final stages of the curse. All we know is that the curse causes the second-born mare of the line of platinum to fall into the thrall of the curse, and the only way to prevent that is for them to… well… find a special somepony before they come of age and cuddle with them daily.”
Rarity frowned. “I don’t understand, though. If I’ve been chosen, I came of age long ago. I got my cutie mark when I was ten!”
“It’s more complicated than simply receiving one’s cutie mark. You see, the curse was made as part of a pact with Hug-Snuggoth—”
“Praised be his snuggly embrace,” interjected Cookie Crumbles in a droning intonation.
Hondo continued speaking as though he hadn’t heard his wife, “— and with it came rules. The chosen mare was to be pure… and adorable. As adorably pure as possible. Uncorrupted by the woes of life, she is to remain as such until her twenty-fifth birthday…”
“And then, what?” asked Rarity.
“Well, then you’d be expected to get married to a special somepony and cuddle them every day,” Cookie said.
“And then the curse would pass on to your second female child in due time,” Hondo finished.
“So… that’s it? The only way to break the curse is to get married and pass it on?” Rarity said, her ears flattening as she recoiled away from her parent’s declaration
“That’s not really breaking the curse, dear. We’re simply maintaining the cuddly pact, don'tcha know,” Cookie said, making a placating gesture at her horrified daughter.
“Nothing like this has ever happened in the long history of our watch! We’ve been training your sister all this time to be able to fulfill the expectations of Hug-Snuggoth, but with the curse passing to you instead of her, we don’t know what to expect!” said Hondo, looking to his wife worriedly.
“We’ve never prepared for the curse to be placed on the unready!” Cookie added.
“You’ve been training Sweetie Belle?!” Rarity said, her voice reaching a fever pitch.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. We’ve been keeping her pure by making sure her every action and thought is as cute and cuddle-able as can be, so when her time comes she can easily find a special somepony!” said Cookie.
“It must have been those friends of hers! They could have corrupted her!” said Hondo, stomping a hoof down.
“Woah nelly, are you talkin’ ‘bout mah sister?” Applejack interjected, stepping forward and frowning at Hondo.
“Yeah, no offense to your creepy religion or whatever, but I sure hope it was Scoots that helped Sweetie Belle get free of this mega-lame curse!” said Rainbow Dash, scowling and stepping up beside the incensed Applejack.
“Sorry, girls,” Hondo said, blanching away from the glares turned his way, “I’m just trying to understand what went wrong!”
Just at that moment, Sweetie Belle came running into the house, bawling uncontrollably. “Mom! Dad! S-something terrible happened! I made a mistake and spelled something wrong !”
Hondo and Cookie glanced between Rarity and Sweetie Belle for a moment, as Sweetie danced anxiously in front of them, before Cookie held a hoof up, quieting her daughter with a gentle stroke of her mane. “There, there, dear. That’s okay.”
Sweetie’s eyes widened. “Okay?! How can it be okay ? I have to be perfect all the time!”
“Well, honey, that… is complicated,” Hondo said, looking to his wife for support.
“You see, honey, for some reason, the curse passed on to Rarity, probably because you were a terrible child who couldn’t maintain her purity and failed miserably at the destiny that was set in motion for you a thousand years ago,” Cookie said placatingly, though her words seemed anything but.
Sweetie Belle’s ears lay flat. “W-wait, what?” she stammered, her voice cracking as her tear-filled eyes moved looked to her big sister, Rarity.
“Afraid that your failures have caused the curse to move to your sister, Sweetie. You… just couldn’t be cute enough,” Hondo said, rubbing Sweetie Belle’s back soothingly.
“Mother! Father!” Rarity barked, appalled.
“But how? I thought if I failed, the world would come to a cuddly end!” Sweetie Belle asked, wiping the tears off her face as she reflexively re-adjusted her slightly mussed mane.
“Well, we’re not sure, but can you think of anything you did that would have made you horrifically impure and un-cuddleable in the eyes of He With A Thousand Fuzzy Knit Appendages?”
Sweetie looked down at the ground, “N-no…”
Rarity spoke up quickly. “Frankly, I cannot believe you’re blaming her! She’s a child! She doesn’t need to have the burden of such responsibility placed on her, and the fact that you have been burdening her with all this… this ‘training’ and ‘purity’ nonsense is simply—”
Before Rarity could really get going, Sweetie Belle leapt up and shouted, “Wait, Rarity!”
Rarity paused in her diatribe, hoof raised mid-vehement stomp. “Sweetie, it’s rude to interrupt!”
“But I think it is my fault! The other day, I came over to your house and you weren't home, and… well… I did something really bad ,” Sweetie said, sniffling slightly.
Rarity’s hoof lowered slowly, and she took a step closer to her sister. She smiled at the tearful little filly. “I’m certain it wasn’t that bad, Sweetie.”
“W-well, mommy and daddy had sent me over because they were watching hay-per-view… and I wanted to watch, too, because they like watching the Equestrian Wrestling Federation so much!” Sweetie paused, hiccuping as she tried to take in a steady breath. “So, I snuck into your den and I… I o-ordered WrestlePonia Fourty-Seven… and I watched the whole thing !”
“WrestlePonia Fourty Seven?!” yelped Cookie.
“The whole thing ?!” shouted Hondo, aghast.
Sweetie nodded. “The whole thing.”
“Bah gawd!” gasped Hondo.
“Even the part where… where the Hock threw Stone Colt through the Sphaynish Announcer Table ?” asked Cookie, stepping back from her daughter.
“The whole. Thing ,” Sweetie confirmed.
“Bah gawd!” gasped Hondo, again, before he scooped Sweetie Belle up into a hug. Sweetie Belle squeaked in surprise, but soon was crying again, and Cookie joined in. Within moments, all three were crying and hugging.
Rarity stared at her parents and younger sibling, and then looked to her friends, who were in varying degrees of confusion and shock. The only pony that seemed to understand what was going on, oddly enough, was Rainbow Dash, who simply frowned at Rarity. “Rares, your family is weird .”
Rarity sighed, her head hanging in defeat. “Yes, they are…”
“Maybe once they’re done crying and hugging, we could ask them more about the curse!” Pinkie Pie said brightly.
Rarity nodded to Pinkie Pie, before awkwardly sidling up to her sobbing family members and daintily patting her father on the head. “I’m sorry to be a bother, father, but I’d be ever so appreciative if you’d explain to me anything you know about the curse, now that it’s my problem.”
Hondo sniffled and nodded, stepping away from Cookie and Sweetie, and addressed his daughter. “Well, dear, we’ve never heard of anypony failing before, so we don’t exactly know the consequences. All I can say is that the easiest way to deal with it would be to find a special somepony and get to snugglin’ as fast as you can… though, in your impure state, it might not be enough.”
Rarity glared at her father. “Impure?”
Hondo blanched. “Sorry, hon, you just haven’t been conditioned like Sweetie has, so undoubtedly the curse will be entering into its final phase… the powers of Hug-Snuggoth will try to find an acceptably cuddly placeholder for you… and, failing that, then…”
“... then? Then what?” asked Rarity.
It was at this moment that Princess Twilight Sparkle slammed open the front door of the house and strode into the room. She had a severe case of bed-mane, her fur was rumpled, and she toted no less than two cups of coffee in an aura of magic behind her along with a massive tome. “It’s the hug-pocalypse! ” she shouted, raising a hoof into the air.
“Twilight!” gasped the girls, surrounding their friend as she stepped into the middle of the room and slurped down the dregs in one of the coffee cups.
“First, before we get any farther, I just have to do one thing,” Twilight said, turning to Pinkie, and bopped her friend on the nose with her hoof. “If you ever abandon me in a compromising situation again, I swear to Celestia, I will take away your baking sugar for a week! A week !”
Pinkie gasped, “You can’t do that!”
“The buck I can’t! I’m a princess now! Who’s going to stop me?” she yelled, her eye twitching slightly.
Pinkie gasped again, her lower lip quivering. “I’m sorry, Twilight! It was the only way!”
Twilight relented slightly in the face of Pinkie’s contrite attitude. “... It’s fine. I suppose it turned out for the best, really, because it gave me a chance to talk with Princess Celestia about what’s been going on, and she told me everything she knew! We’ve spent the morning hunting down this book,” Twilight gestured to the book floating above her head, “in the archives, and let me tell you, whoever was the previous librarian needs to be arrested for dereliction of duty . But, we don’t have time for that, because we’re too late !”
“Too late?” asked Rarity.
“Yes. We’re way, way too late. When was the last time you girls were outside?”
Hondo and Cookie looked aghast. “You mean, it’s already begun?”
“What’s already begun?” asked Applejack.
Twilight moved to a nearby window in the darkened den and pulled aside the curtains, letting oddly colored light pour into the room. The ponies inside all moved to the window, and collectively fell silent.
The sun had been hidden by a swirling vortex of multi-hued pastel clouds that poured from an almost blindingly white portal. Protruding through this portal were dozens massive tentacle-like appendages that stretched from the sky to the ground, filling ponyville. Each tentacle was a patchwork of fuzzily-knit quilting that covered every inch of it in bright, happy colors, and no two squares were alike. Polka-dots, stripes, patterns of every kind imaginable—and some not-so-imaginable non-euclidean non-patterns as well—covered the surface of the intruding limbs. As they watched, the portal widened and even more of the knit limbs tumbled softly down, landing with gentle thumps on the roofs of houses and cottages far below.
Cookie and Hondo prostrated themselves, their hysterics forgotten. “The time is upon us!” Hondo intoned.
“The snuggling will have no beginning!” gasped Cookie.
“The snuggling will have no end!”
“Hug-Snuggoth’s knit appendages will blot out the sky and cover the world in snuggles!”
“All will be cuddled and none will be safe!”
Twilight drew the curtains and turned to look at her stunned friends. “This is it. The hug-pocalypse.”
Rainbow sighed. “This is the lamest threat to Equestria, ever.”
Pinkie hopped in place. “This is the best threat to Equestria, everrrrr!” she cheered.
“It d-doesn’t look… too bad,” murmured Fluttershy.
“It doesn’t look too bad?! Did you see the garish patterns and designs on those… tentacles ?” Rarity shouted, her eyes narrowing as she turned to face Twilight. “We have to defeat it. Its crimes against fashion are unforgivable.”
Applejack stepped up beside Rarity. “Fashion crimes aside, Ah’m with Rarity. We gotta get rid of it.”
Twilight looked to Rarity. “I’ll explain, but we need to get to Ponyville's town square… this book told us how to stop the hug-pocalypse—”
“Lame!” interrupted Rainbow Dash, but Twilight ignored her protest.
“—and it all goes down to you. The fate of our world hangs in the balance, and you’re the only pony that can save us, Rarity.”
Rarity held her head high and struck a regal pose. “It is a burden I am more than willing to bear!”
Twilight’s ears flattened, and she blushed. “You haven’t heard how you save us, yet…”
Rarity’s regal pose faltered, and a bead of sweat ran down her brow. “Oh, dear, it isn’t icky, is it?”
Twilight scuffed a hoof against the carpet. “Not exactly...”
Author's Note
Happy Pi Day!
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
The six mares raced through the streets of Ponyville as dozens of quilted tentacles ensnared hapless ponies, pulling them into the air to grip them in their wooly, cuddly embrace. The caught ponies initially panicked, but soon calmed down as they realized it… wasn’t all that awful. The tentacles were very clingy, however, and refused to let go.
“So, explain this plan to me once more, Twilight,” Rarity said, narrowly avoiding a grasping, polka-dotted appendage with a sideways hop. The tentacles were not particularly fast, simply persistent, and a whole group were already slowly snaking after the rushing mares.
“Well, according to the research Celestia, Luna, and I did, we managed to find a way to avert the hug-pocalypse. You, being the Chosen Snuggly One of Hug-Snuggoth, have to find your special somepony and cuddle them,” Twilight explained, ducking under a particularly grabby swede tentacle.
Rarity nodded, “Right. So, finding a special somepony… not too terribly difficult, I suppose. I’ve only spent my entire life waiting for a stallion to sweep me off my hooves. This plan is awful , Twilight, simply awful .”
“Is it as awful as these tacky tentacles, Rarity?” Pinkie said, bouncing over one particularly puce-colored knit appendage and pronking between two others, sending the grasping tentacles crashing into one another softly.
“Nothing is as awful as those, Pinkie,” Rarity intoned, her mouth set in a stern line of disapproval.
“Well, then, sounds like you’re gonna have to suck it up, Rarity!” Rainbow Dash said, looping around a tentacle and entangling it in a tree as it tried to follow her acrobatic maneuvers. Rainbow Dash swerved, bucking a tentacle away in mid-air as it started encircling Fluttershy, who seemed largely unconcerned by the quilted and knit graspers that wound gently towards her.
“So, how are we gonna go about findin’ Rarity a beau before the whole of Equestria is… snuggled to death?” Applejack asked, bucking away a tentacle as it tried snuggling her tail.
Twilight smiled, zapping a tentacle as it swerved into her path. “I’m glad you asked! I’ve had Spike working to compile a list of eligible bachelor stallions in Ponyville that could possibly be a match for Rarity, based on several scientific formulae and deep knowledge of Rarity’s likes and dislikes. We just need to go to the library, get the formula, and go find that special somepony.”
Rarity scowled. “You’re leaving my romantic choices up to science?”
“Well, Rarity, if your standards weren’t so high, we wouldn’t be having this problem at all, so yes , it’s time for science ,” Twilight said in a perturbed tone.
Fluttershy stepped in as Rarity prepared a snippy rebuttal. “Can we just focus on getting this adorable menace dealt with, please? Rarity, I understand your frustration, but we need to give Twilight’s plan a chance. After all, what if it works out? You’ll have a special somepony to spend your days with!”
Rarity sighed, sidestepping a grabby tentacle. “I suppose you’re right. Very well. To the library!”
“What do you mean, there are only three possible matches?” Twilight said, staring at the list in Spike’s outstretched claws, one eyelid twitching.
“Well, I did the math just like you said, and combined it with my exhaustive knowledge of everything Rarity likes and doesn’t like, and cross-referenced it with all the stallions in Ponyville, and there are only three!” Spike explained, shrinking away from Twilight’s gaze.
Rarity frowned. “I’ll admit, it seems a bit far-fetched that there are only three , darling.”
Spike shook his head. “There are only three, Rarity. I’m sorry, but you’ve got really high standards, and I knew that you’d be choosy no matter what the standard formula said, so I narrowed down the list to the best possible candidates for stallions that can… can be your special somepony,” Spike said, his head drooping slightly.
Twilight sighed, looking over the list. “Well, I know you did your best, Spike. Are you sure you haven’t forgotten anypony?”
Spike nodded. “I’m sorry, I tried thinking of everything to give Rarity the best chances of finding th-the one.”
Rarity smiled kindly at Spike. “That’s sweet of you, Spikey-wikey.”
Spike blushed. “Thanks, Rarity. I… hope you’re happy with one of them.”
Twilight tucked the list under her wing, and turned to the rest of the girls. “Are we ready?”
The other five mares nodded, murmuring their assent. Twilight turned to Spike. “Spike, you should come along. I don’t want anything happening to you while we’re out finding these three ponies.”
Spike shook his head emphatically. “No, I’d really, really rather not. No offense, but I’ll leave the stallion-finding to you six.” He puffed up his chest and a small smirk found its way onto his deflated features. “I’ll stay here and protect the library from the tentacles. They might not be too dangerous,” Spike said, gesturing towards a nearby window, where several fuzzy appendages tried to gently snuggle their way through the glass, “but I’m sure they could knock books off the shelves if they put their minds to it.”
Twilight giggled, and gave Spike a hug. “I know I can count on you to keep our home safe, Spike.”
Rarity smiled at Spike. “Be brave, Spike!”
“I will, Rarity! I hope everything works out for the best!” Spike said, smiling up at her.
With that, the six mares left the Library, entering the snuggly streets of Ponyville.
Twilight halted the group suddenly, stopping outside of Quills and Sofas. Rarity looked quizzically up at the storefront, currently being boarded up by the brown-maned owner, Davenport. “We’re here,” Twilight said, gesturing towards Davenport.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Davenport? He’s a fine enough fellow, I suppose, but… special somepony material?”
Davenport spared a glance over his shoulder and noticed the Elements of Harmony standing behind him. “Heya, girls. Here to save the day from the impending, itchy doom?”
“Not a fan of knit sweaters, I guess?” said Rainbow Dash with a smirk, as she backhooved a tentacle and sent it flying away.
“I’m allergic, I’m afraid. Just lookin’ at the thing is making me itchy. Glad you’re here, though! We all know we can count on you girls to fix… whatever is going on,” Davenport said, pausing in his hammering to whack a tentacle with his tool chest.
Rarity grabbed Twilight and cast a glance at Davenport. “Twilight, explain. What does your fancy science say is a reason for me to want to spend my days cuddling... Davenport?”
Twilight gestured to the list. “Spike has some notes, here. They say that Davenport is a business-stallion, so he’ll be able to understand your struggles as a businessmare. It also says that he’s a bit of a romantic, or so Spike gathered from his love of loveseats. Spike also noted that he’s sensible and friendly, and would take good care of you.”
Rarity smiled, casting an appraising eye towards Davenport. “Spike said all that? Well… I suppose there’s no harm in giving it a chance.”
Rarity trotted over to Davenport and cleared her throat, bringing his attention away from his work. Davenport smiled at Rarity. “Hello, Miss Rarity. Do you need something?”
Rarity considered Davenport for a moment before she spoke, her tone firm and businesslike. “Mister Davenport, we’ve done business a few times, and you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, so I’d like to explain to you what, exactly, I need from you.”
Davenport glanced towards the five other mares, whom were alternating between battling away tentacles and listening in on their conversation. “Well, certainly. What can I do for you?”
“The cause of all this calamity, I’m afraid, is my lack of a… special somepony. I’ve apparently been placed under a curse, which necessitates that I find somepony to… well, be my special somepony immediately . Princess Twilight has run some sort of fancy science to determine that you’re an eligible candidate, thanks to your strong business sense and sensible, genial nature. So, with that said, would you be amenable to… giving me a hug?” Rarity blushed slightly at the final declaration, but quickly covered it over with her best businessmare poker face; friendly inscrutability at it’s finest.
Davenport considered this information, frowning and running a hoof over his chin. “Well, that’s… certainly some story. But, you’ve always been a good customer, and you girls have done a lot for Equestria, so I believe you. As for finding a special somepony…” Davenport’s businesslike visage faltered under the weight of a sudden blush, “A… wait, you mean… me? I’m flattered, Miss Rarity!”
Rarity laughed airily, waving a hoof in the air. “Yes, of course you are, but really, Mister Davenport, time is of the essence… so, for the sake of Equestria, would you kindly shut up and snuggle me?”
Davenport blinked, stammered, and balked. Rarity rolled her eyes and grabbed Davenport, pulling him into a hug. “Really, Mister Davenport. Just take it like a stallion.”
Davenport grinned goofily, returning the hug. Rarity and Davenport embraced for several long, awkward minutes, while Twilight stared up at the portal. The colorful anomaly, if anything, grew larger, extruding even more tentacles over Ponyville, a few even reaching the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack glanced worriedly at the tentacles cuddling her apple trees. Finally, Twilight stepped over to Rarity and Davenport, both of whom were blushing furiously and not making any significant eye contact with one another. “It’s no good, Rarity. Davenport, you seem nice, but you’re not what we’re looking for.”
Rarity immediately released Davenport from the embrace, coughing inelegantly as she retreated from the stumbling, dazed stallion. Davenport smiled happily. “Happy to be of—augh!”
A tentacle caught Davenport in his weakened state and swooped him into the air, snuggling him with wild abandon. Davenport’s voice weakly echoed, “It’s so itchy !” before he disappeared into the mass of snuggled ponies. The girls left Davenport to his fate, only Fluttershy briefly hesitating, as they rushed on towards the next eligible pony.
“No. Absolutely not,” Rarity said, staring at the next stallion on the list.
“What? Spike’s noted down that he’s very romantic, loves excitement, and is extremely charming,” Twilight said.
Rainbow Dash chuckled, adding, “Yeah, and he’s a total player . I can’t even believe he’s on the list, but I guess Spike wouldn’t know about that little detail.”
“He seems…nice,” Fluttershy said uncertainly.
“Well, he’s certainly boisterous,” Applejack stated, watching the stallion.
“Are we playing the adjective game? Thunderlane is, uh, calamitous? No, he’s expressive! Stupendous! Am I winning?” Pinkie Pie babbled, giggling.
Thunderlane was buzzing circles around a group of tentacles, dodging their gentle flailing as he tangled them together and left them in a knot on the street. Rainbow Dash let out a huff, muttering under her breath something about could do that in twenty seconds flat , but Rarity ignored her, concentrating on the pegasus stallion. He was good looking enough, in the pegasus sense; lithe and built like an athlete. His mane and coat were groomed well, with a good sense of style. He was certainly more attractive than Davenport. “Spike saw something that we didn’t, obviously. He’s got the look, but his reputation precedes him…”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Rarity, it’s for the good of Equestria.”
Rarity sighed. “Fiiiine .” The mare adjusted her mane, cleared her throat, and called up at the circling Thunderlane. “Excuse me, Thunderlane! Could I have a word?”
Thunderlane glanced around and spotted Rarity waving up at him, and he flew in for a quick landing in front of her, breathing hard and wiping away some sweat. “Hey, Rarity. You and the girls out to stop this mess?”
“Indeed, which is why I wanted to talk with you,” Rarity looked him over surreptitiously, before carrying on with a small smile of approval. “There’s no easy way to say this, but I’ve been cursed, and in order to break that curse, I need to find a special somepony. Twilight’s used science to choose the most eligible candidates, and you’re one of them. Would you mind giving me a hug?”
Thunderlane blinked, staring at Rarity for a moment before smirking. “Sure, I’ll bite. What’s the catch?”
“You’ll have to spend the rest of your days snuggling me,” Rarity said wryly, “or an elder god from the edge of the cuddleverse will snuggle Equestria to death.”
Thunderlane glanced nervously between Rarity and her five friends standing a few feet away, staring at him expectantly. He swallowed, hard. “Well, I’ve never considered myself much of a one-mare-stallion, but if it’s for the good of Equestria…”
“You’ve snuggled mares for less, Thunderlane. So, are we going to do this, or should you get back to fighting cuddly appendages?” Rarity asked, her nose wrinkling in disgust at the ‘one-mare-stallion’ comment.
Thunderlane shrugged and grabbed Rarity, sweeping her off her feet and into a tight hug. Rarity giggled at his enthusiasm, despite her misgivings, and returned the hug. Twilight stared up at the swirling, multi-hued vortex as a few more tentacles spilled onto Equestrian soil, cuddling everything in sight. Twilight cleared her throat after another minute, “Well, doesn’t look like Thunderlane is the one.”
Thunderlane unceremoniously dropped Rarity, leaving her sputtering in rage. “Well, that was fun, but I’ve got to get back to rescuing my little brother. Poor Rumble’s in that mess somewhere,” Thunderlane gestured to a group of tentacles that were snuggling something.
“You left your younger sibling in that mess to snuggle me?!” Rarity said, aghast.
“Yeah. Don’t worry, Rumble would totally understand,” Thunderlane said with a smirk, and he flew off towards the entangled tentacles.
Rarity stood up, brushing herself off, and glared after Thunderlane. “The nerve. I’m certainly glad he wasn’t the one.”
“I think we all are,” Applejack said, shaking her head.
“Well, two down, one to go, I suppose,” Twilight said, blasting away a wooly tangle of plush tentacles, “Last stop is at Sweet Apple Acres.”
Applejack blinked. “Wait, what?”
Applejack glared daggers at Twilight and Rarity as the approached Big Macintosh. The large stallion was laconically going about his business, tidying up the orchard. One tentacle had grasped onto his midsection, and had unceremoniously been dragged by Big Macintosh through a quarter mile of apple trees, entangling slowly until it was well and truly stuck. Big Macintosh gave a final heave, and the tentacle released its grip, snapping backwards and away, and slowly beginning to snuggle an apple tree instead. Twilight smiled up at Big Macintosh. “Hey there, Big Macintosh!”
Big Mac gave Twilight a nod, and carried on cleaning. Twilight glanced at Rarity, shrugged, and stepped in front of the stallion, forcing him to stop. “Can we bother you for a moment?”
Big Mac blinked at her, cast a glance around the orchard covered in snuggling tentacles, and then shrugged. “Eeyup.”
Rarity stepped forward, blushing up at the huge stallion. “This is really rather awkward, but I’ve got something I need to ask you, and it’s not exactly the most… normal request. Do you mind?”
Big Mac squinted down at Rarity, blinking slowly. “Eenope.”
“We-he-hell,” Rarity began, giggling nervously, “I seem to have fallen under a curse. You’ve noticed the horrible portal and… affectionate tentacles, yes?”
Big Mac stared at her for a moment, face deadpan. “Eeyup.”
Applejack, meanwhile, trotted up and grabbed Twilight, pulling her aside. “Twilight, ya mind tellin’ me why mah brother is on that list?”
“Well, Spike noted that Big Macintosh is kind, a hard worker, and strong, not to mention good looking. He’s pretty much ideal, except for the fact that he and Rarity are basically complete opposites when it comes to social graces,” Twilight said.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, an’ that’s the problem. Rarity and Big Mac would never get along well.”
“Well, Applejack, you know what they say. Opposites attract!” Twilight giggled, turning back to watch Big Mac and Rarity.
“Stupid science ,” Applejack grumbled.
Rarity, meanwhile, was stumbling over herself. “Th-that is, to say, in order for this curse to…to be broken, I, well…”
Big Mac stared at her expectantly with his deep, green eyes. Rarity stammered to a halt, covering her face and giggling helplessly. Big Mac sighed and pulled off his ever-present yoke and collar, setting it aside. He reached down and swept Rarity off her feet into a romantic dip, and kissed her full on the mouth.
Applejack and Twilight’s jaws dropped. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie began to cheer, whistling and clapping. Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane. Rarity froze for a brief moment, eyes wide in shock, before she melted into the embrace. After a long moment, Big Macintosh set Rarity back down gently, keeping a hoof on her shoulder until her knees stopped shaking. Rarity fanned herself with a hoof for a moment, before she spoke up. “Well, while I appreciate the enthusiasm, I actually only needed a hug.”
Big Macintosh blinked, staring at Rarity, before a blush spread across his face. He kicked the dirt sheepishly with one big hoof. “Well, shucks, Miss Rarity. I guess I assumed that, like any curse on a pretty mare, it’d have to be broken with a kiss.”
Rarity giggled, and glanced up at the portal in the sky. It continued to widen, nearing Canterlot. “Well, I suppose that it didn’t work. Thank you, Mister Apple, that was quite pleasant, but apparently it wasn’t what I needed.”
Big Mac chuckled, pulling back on his yoke and collar. “Eeyup.”
Twilight snapped out of her shock, staring up at the sky and the widening anomaly. “But… but science ! This had to work!”
Applejack guffawed, patting Twilight on the back. “Well, your fancy science don’t mean nothin’ when it comes to matters of the heart. Ha!”
Twilight sighed, crumpling up the list and tossing it on the ground. “Well, I guess it’s on to plan C.”
“Plan C?” Rarity asked, trotting up to meet Twilight and Applejack, still flushed from her encounter with Big Macintosh.
“Quantity over quality!” Twilight declared, and spun to face the girls. “Everypony, gather as many ponies as you can, and get them all to the town hall! We’ve got some snuggling to do!”
Rarity stared at Twilight. “You can’t be serious.”
Twilight returned the stare evenly. “Of course I am. The fate of Equestria hangs in the balance. Rarity, you’re going to have to snuggle everypony , whether they like it or not!”
“Title drop!” squealed Pinkie Pie, as she pronked away through the snuggling tentacles.
“Let’s do this!” Rainbow Dash said, zooming towards Cloudsdale.
“Um… this plan sounds… nice?” Fluttershy said, heading towards her house.
“This plan is plumb silly, and I just wanted to state that for th’ record,” Applejack said as she gallopped towards Ponyville.
Rarity swallowed hard. “... Oh dear.”
Author's Note
Well, after a massive delay due to life, the universe, and everything... here's another chapter of this! Apologies for the (extremely) long wait, but I really want to finish this story, so I'll be doing my best to get this finished up over the next few weeks.
Special thanks to ShortSkirtsandExplosions for editing help and spurring me to go and write this chapter. He's a true, true friend.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
The door to Rarity’s parents home burst asunder, blown apart by the chromatic pegasus-pony-turned-cannonball that was Rainbow Dash. She landed on her rear hooves, skidding to a barely-contained halt inside the foyer of the abode, panting and planting her front hooves on the carpet. “We’re through!”
Twilight arrived next. Mane frazzled, horn sparking, and wings askew; she looked like hell. She slumped down on her side as soon as she entered, coughing up bits of fluffy stuffing of various pastel colors. “That… that was awful.”
Applejack was next, jumping through the destroyed front door and avoiding the splinters around her hooves. The earth pony’s mane was a mess, her ponytail undone, and her hat was conspicuously missing. Fluttershy lay across Applejack’s back, her eyes covered and hyperventilating, but appeared completely unmarred. Applejack pivoted in place and rendered a fantastic kick to a knit tentacle that slithered after her, rocking the fuzzy menace and sending it careening back through the shattered doorway and out of view.
As the stunned tentacle flew out the door, Rarity arrived, followed closely by Pinkie Pie. Rarity collapsed beside Twilight, wheezing dramatically as though she was on her death bed. “That… was… terrible !”
“Wowie-zowie! What a fight scene!” Pinkie Pie said with a manic giggle, bouncing on her hooves, “That was so cool ! Rainbow Dash was like zoom ! And Twilight was like pew pew pew ! And Applejack was like kerpow ! And Princess Luna was like forsooth !” Pinkie punctuated her sound effects with hoof motions, animating the epic scene that her friends had all just lived through.
Twilight rolled onto her hooves again, shaking out her wings and mane. “We’re all here... except for Princess Luna and her guards! They were right behind us!” she said, turning to face the doorway with wide eyes.
Applejack peered through the entryway of the house and towards the rest of Ponyville. All she could see were tentacles. Thousands upon thousands of them writhed from the slowly widening portal to the edge of the Cuddleverse. There was no sign of Princess Luna or her retinue of guards. “Darlin’, I think they all got… cuddled.”
As she spoke, a midnight-blue figure appeared, held aloft by a dozen of the fluffy, snuggly appendages of the Snugglegod. “This! Is! Undignifiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied !” screamed Princess Luna, as she was hoisted deeper into the tentacles to have the stuffing figuratively snuggled out of her.
“Luna!” Twilight made as if to venture back outside, but Rainbow Dash and Applejack blocked her path.
“Ain’t no use, sugarcube! The only way we’re savin’ anypony is if we get rid of that there monstrosity,” Applejack said, placing one hoof on Twilight’s shoulder gently.
Twilight stared out at the spot where Princess Luna had disappeared for a long moment, before relaxing and letting out a sigh. “You’re right. Rarity, get up, we need to find your family.”
Rarity shook her head. “Twilight, I am at my wit’s end. This has all been so dreadful. Some of those guard ponies… they sacrificed themselves to the tentacles! For me , Twilight! Other ponies are having terrible, unspeakable, cuddly things happen to them for my sake.”
Twilight bent down and pulled Rarity into a sitting position. “You can’t let Snuggoth win, Rarity. We’re so, so close. You just need to feel that real love, and then everything will be okay.”
Rarity stared up at Twilight, eyes full of tears. “Do… do you promise, Twilight?”
Twilight gave her a hug. “I promise.”
Rarity leaned into the hug for a long moment, before getting to her hooves. “You’re right, Twilight. I’m sorry everyone, I’m just feeling very overwhelmed.”
Applejack smiled at Rarity. “We all are, darlin’. I can’t even tell ya how much ah want to run for the Acres and make sure my family is all right, but I know that if we can end it, here an’ now, everythin’ is gonna work itself out.”
Fluttershy peeked out from behind her hooves, trembling. “I’m s-sorry I’m being such a burden, I’m just not cut out for things like this… but I hope that just being present to support you is helping, Rarity.”
Rarity offered Fluttershy a soft smile. “Of course.”
Rainbow Dash shuffled her hooves uncomfortably, blushing. “I… yeah. I mean, I love excitement and danger! But this needs to be over. Do or… be snuggled for eternity, I guess? But I’m here for you, Rares.”
“Thank you, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity exhaled slowly and turned to face the quiet interior of the house. “Mother? Father? Sweetie Belle? I’m home! Where are you?”
Rarity led the rest of the girls into her parent’s home, walking quickly from room to room. With each empty room, her voice grew more worried. “Hello? Anypony?”
“Rarity ?” came a muffled reply. Rarity’s ears perked forward, and she trotted quickly towards the closed door to her younger sister’s room.
“Sweetie Belle, are you in there?” she asked, pushing the door open. Sweetie Belle’s room was a sweetly decorated, pastel affair, the picture of a perfect young mare’s room, with colorful posters adorning the wall and soft Hearth’s Warming lights strung near the ceiling. Sweetie Belle’s bed was a large four-post, covered in stuffed animals and pillows. A pair of trembling eyes peered meekly out from beneath a pile of blankets.
“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle cried, dashing out from her hiding place to meet her sister as she rushed inside. “Rarity! I was so worried!” she gasped, clinging to her big sister as tears streamed down her face.
“There, there, darling. I was worried, too!” Rarity buried her face in Sweetie Belle’s mane, holding her little sister close. There was a muffled roar from outside.
Twilight gasped, ran to the curtains by the window of Sweetie Belle’s room and pulled them open. The tentacle fall had slowed again, but the portal continued to widen inexorably. In the distance, the furthest edge had just met with the tallest spire of Canterlot. Twilight groaned. “This isn’t working. We need more love to push Snuggoth back.”
Rarity clutched Sweetie Belle close. “Sweetie, do you know where mother and father are?”
Sweetie stared up at Rarity, eyes filling with redoubled tears. “Th-they… they went outside .”
Rarity stared at her sister, uncomprehending. “They went outside?”
Sweetie Belle nodded, hiccuping as she nearly hyperventilated. “They-.... They… they left me here !” she wailed, burying her face in Rarity’s neck.
The rest of the mares were quiet as Rarity comforted her distraught sister and processed the evident loss of her parents to the snuggly tentacles outside. “They’re gone, then,” Rarity said quietly, looking at Twilight with wide eyes. “I’m afraid, my dearest Twilight, that our last plan is in shambles.”
Applejack slumped to her haunches, causing Fluttershy to fall to the floor with a small squeak. “Well, shoot. I’m plumb outta ideas.”
Twilight sighed, ears drooping. “Me too. I thought that, if anypony would have been enough, it would be Rarity’s family.”
Scowling, Rarity shook her head. “I think that even if we did go out into that mess and find them, my love for my parents is currently,” she looked pointedly at the sobbing Sweetie Belle, “on the rather thin side. Honestly! Abandoning Sweetie Belle like this!” Rarity held her sibling tightly.
Downstairs, there was the sound of crashing. Rainbow Dash leapt into the air and swooped away, returning a moment later. “Those fuzzy jerks are pushing in through the front door. We need to figure something else out.”
“There must be something I’m missing, here,” Twilight said, tapping her forehead with one hoof. “I need more time to get this problem worked out.”
“Well, we don’t have time, Twi,” Rainbow Dash said, pointing towards the rest of the house, “at least not here.”
Twilight blinked, leaping to her hooves. “Oh, of course! The basement of the library is totally secure. I had to make sure it was pretty much apocalypse-proof, due to the unstable nature of some of the experiments I conduct down there. We can go there, and I can have access to the Library and my equipment in the basement to do a little last-minute research!”
“It’s safe there?” Rarity asked, standing beside her sister and throwing one hoof over Sweetie Belle’s shoulders, keeping her close.
“Undoubtedly, unless Spike panicked and opened up all the doors and windows or something,” Twilight said, before blinking. “Oh, gosh! I hope Spike is okay. I told him to hold up in the basement if things got too scary for him.”
Rarity smiled, “I’m certain Spike is fine. He’s very mature for his age. Knowing him, he’s kept the library safe for you in case you need anything else that your home offers.”
Rainbow Dash smirked, “Yeah, I’m sure Spike is, like, battling the Elder Snuggle-whatever.” She snickered, “I can’t hardly imagine that he’s been doing anything other than hiding out in your basement, Twi.”
Rarity frowned. “Come now, Rainbow Dash. You must agree, Spike is more than capable of handling himself when the metaphorical cards are on the table.”
Fluttershy spoke up, “Let’s not forget that he saved the Crystal Heart.”
“And stopped that accident in th’ Crystal Games,” Applejack added.
Twilight smiled as her friends came to her assistant’s defense. “Spike has proven himself to all of us. I’m surprised you’d question that, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay, but… I mean, it’s Spike we’re talking about, here. How much could he do?”
Meanwhile, across Ponyville…
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !”
Spike screamed a savage war cry, smashing two encroaching tentacles with his trusty broom, stunning the invaders. With a sweep of the broad-bristled end of his improvised weapon, he shoved the two tentacles back out of the window. He shoved the window closed with a quick shoulder-check and pulled a bookshelf over, blocking it from being pushed open from the outside again.
All around him, the library was a mass of severed, scorched, and woozy tentacles that were unceremoniously being shoved out of open doors and windows by Spike and Owlowiscious. Owlowiscious flapped hard, the end of a tentacle in his talons, and threw the limp appendage out of one of the upper story windows. Another tentacle pressed in as Owlowiscious turned to return to the interior of the library, but Spike was there in an instant, his eyes flaring with emerald rage, and he breathed a gout of flame. “RAAAAH!” FWOOSH!
The tentacle ignited, part of it turning to ash instantaneously, and Spike used his broom like a spear, thrusting the burned mess out the window from whence it came. Owlowiscious hooted a quick thank you, retreating. Spike ran back downstairs. “Those barricades on the front door won’t hold much longer! Can you find any more furniture?”
“Who!” Owlowiscious swooped away.
Spike shook his head, frowning, “YOU, you feather duster! Get more furniture!”
As he shouted, the front door splintered, and three tentacles shoved their way in around the improvised barricade, seeking something to give a severe snuggle to. Spike was there to greet them. “Sorry, the LIBRARY!” WHACK! “IS!” SMASH! “CLOSED!” CRUNCH!
The tentacles flailed at him, trying to work their way past his whirling broom, but Spike was ready, lashing out with a double-handed overhead smash that knocked the literal stuffing out of one tentacle. Cotton exploded around Spike, filling the air. The other two tentacles hesitated, then lashed out at the same time, pushing through the cloud of cotton to hit… nothing. Spike had pole vaulted up to the second floor landing, and now took his opportunity leapt down atop the two tentacles, discarding his broom as he stomped down with all his weight on one. SMASH!
Flattened, one tentacle twitched feebly. Spike grabbed the other with both hands and bit down on the appendage, slicing through the knit and cotton stuffing with his sharp teeth and severing it from the rest of its mass. Colorful confetti sprayed as he shook his head, shredding the tentacle and leaving it lifeless on the floor, before he gave another stomp on the tentacle below him. It stiffened briefly, shuddering, then went limp.
Spike spat fluff and thread out of his mouth. “Ugh.”
Owlowiscious returned, dragging a chair behind him in his talons, and flapped to a standstill as he surveyed the destroyed tentacles. “Who?” For once, his meaning was literal.
“ME .” Spike noticed the stunned expression on Owlowiscious’ face. “Yeah, I did this. Now, gimmie that chair. I told Twilight that I’d keep the library safe, and I’m not going to break that promise.”
Owlicious gave Spike the chair. Upstairs, out of sight, was the sound of shattering glass. Spike growled, emerald flame licking from between his determined grimace. “Well, they found the bathroom window. Let’s go, buddy.”
“Who!”
“AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ” CRASH!
Author's Note
Decided to release what I've got, after the split in the "last" chapter into two chapters. This seemed like the best stopping point, so... here we are. One down, one to go! Also, for you Spike fans: the moment you've been waiting for. Probably.
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
The Ultimate Snuggle (Revised)
The six mares and one filly ran headlong towards the too-distant library. Between them and the safety of Twilight’s basement lay the fluffy, snuggly, and downright determined tentacles of the Elder Snugglegod from the edge of the Cuddleverse. Snuggoth would have its snuggles. There was no recourse. The snuggling would have no beginning, and no end.
Rarity took the lead, flanked by her best friends, her trembling sister on her back. She kept her head down, her jaw set in a determined grimace, and she liberally applied her telekinesis, using her sewing techniques against the monstrous appendages. The hideously patterned tentacles were torn apart with special magic made to tear seams and cut cloth. The rumbling roar of an angry god thundered through the air as Rarity’s magic rent a swath of destruction. For once, she outclassed even Twilight Sparkle’s power. For one shining moment, they all felt hope. Rarity was unstoppable.
A tentacle snatched Fluttershy off of Applejack’s back. “Oh! Um, sorry, I’ve been snuggled!” Fluttershy called meekly as a single tentacle held her aloft, gently stroking her mane with the very fluffy tip of its being.
The group ground to a halt. “Hang on, darlin’! We’ll get ya outta there!” Applejack called, leaping into the air and attempting to buck the tentacle. The tentacle zipped out of reach of her strong legs, leaving Applejack to stomp the earth uselessly below it. “Rainbow Dash! Do something!”
“Oh, uh, I’m okay. Really,” Fluttershy said weakly, “I hate to say it, but I think I was slowing everypony down.”
Rainbow Dash slammed into the tentacle from the air, pummeling it with wild abandon. “Yaaaaarggghhhh ! Let go, ya melon fudge!”
The tentacle was battered, and hung limp. Fluttershy gave a quick flap of her wings and was free from the weakened limb. “Oh. Well, I guess I can carry on!”
“Darling, Fluttershy, now isn’t the time to give up. We need everypony. All of us! We’ll find some solution, as long as we’re together!” Rarity said, stomping one hoof on the road with determination.
Fluttershy hung her head, nodding. “I’m sorry… it wasn’t so bad, though. I know it’ll be really inconvenient eventually, but… maybe Snuggoth just needs a hug?”
“It’s getting plenty of hugs from all the ponies it’s already snuggled. It will never be satisfied!” Twilight said, gesturing around the mostly-tentacle-covered town.
Rarity tore apart another tentacle with a flash of her magic, and gestured them onward. “We’re nearly there. Let’s hurry. I hate to think of poor Spikey-wikey all alone in the library.”
“Uhh… yeah. I don’t think we have to worry about Spike,” Rainbow Dash said, suddenly, her eyes wide and ears flat.
Everypony turned to look toward the library.
The world was fire.
Tentacles writhed and the Elder Snugglegod roared in anger as its appendages were severed and cauterized by all-consuming flame. The onslaught continued against the fire, though, but to almost no avail. Hundreds of cuddly, snuggly tentacles had been sacrificed against the most worthy opponent that Snuggoth had faced since time immemorial. Not that Snuggoth cared much about time. It had fought this battle a thousand years ago, and yet also tomorrow. Time was a strange thing for Elder Snugglegods. All Snuggoth knew was that, right in this mutable moment, it needed to hug something, and that something was resisting mightily. Very mightily.
Snuggoth had never cared much for fire, but it was rare that anything used fire against it, as the only thing worse than tentacles trying to grab you for a stern snuggling were flaming tentacles trying to grab you for a stern snuggling. That usually ended poorly.
Usually.
Far below the portal to the edge of the Cuddleverse, this tenacious defender fought for his home, his family, and the pony that he feared he would lose forever. He was massive, towering near the height of the topmost branches of the Ponyville Library. His claws were like seam-rippers, his teeth like dressmaker’s shears, and his breath was an emerald oath of death to the tacky upholstery that surrounded him.
They say greed is the most powerful motivation for dragons, and that is true, in part, but in that moment, it was more than simple greed that motivated Spike. Spike had something to prove, and he wanted to prove this thing, more than he’d ever wanted anything else. His driving emotion was purer than greed, but he harnessed that more base feeling to strengthen him. As tentacles reached for his home, he lashed out again, sending them twisted and shredded to the ground. He put every piece of his weaponry to use, using his immense size to shrug away the tentacles that surrounded him. Flames licked from his mouth as he roared defiance to the god that threatened everything he owned, and in that moment, he owned everything .
More tentacles pushed in, and he leapt to meet them.
Rarity stared up as the massive amethyst-and-emerald drake tore into Snuggoth’s limbs. She felt a flutter of fear, mixed with admiration. A slow smile broke across her face, and she turned to look at Rainbow Dash. “And you doubted him.”
Rainbow Dash gulped audibly as the super-sized Spike’s green flame incinerated dozens of tentacles. “Yeah, and I regret that. I won’t ever doubt Spike’s capacity for… awesomeness… ever again!”
“Look at that! He’s super ginormous! We could ride him into battle!” Pinkie said, laughing happily.
“Woo-ee, Spike’s got a god on the ropes. Never thought I’d see the day. He’s mighty big, too!” Applejack crowed, jumping up and waving her hat with excitement.
“It’s his greed! He must want something very, very badly, to have gotten so massive so quickly!” Twilight said, studying as her assistant decimated a few tentacles with a single swipe of his claws.
“Let’s get going! Spike is doing his due diligence, protecting the Library, and it is up to us to reach him!” Rarity said, forging ahead.
Sweetie Belle cheered from her perch on Rarity’s back, the appearance of Spike’s massive form giving her a much needed morale boost. “Go, Spike!”
As a group, they rushed forward, clearing the last tentacles. Spike whirled as they broke through the snuggling mass of appendages, sensing them approaching his home, but froze when he saw them. He leaned down, his head close to the ground, and regarded them with one massive, reptilian eye. Rarity stepped forward, smiling up at Spike. “Hello, Spikey-wikey! You look exhausted, you poor dear. We’re here, now, so if you want to come inside with us and take a break, you should.”
A rumbling whine echoed from Spike’s throat, and he began to shrink down, slowly at first, but the process accelerated quickly. Rarity could tell something was wrong, so she gestured to Twilight. Twilight stepped forward, trotting to Spike as he shrunk down to his almost-normal size. He was, perhaps, a few inches taller. When he reached his usual form, his eyes were filled with tears, and he rushed to hug Twilight. “Twilight! Twilight!”
Twilight grabbed him, holding him close as her own eyes teared up. “Spike! I’m glad you’re okay!”
“I… I tried so hard, Twilight! Owlowiscious and I were protecting the Library!” He sobbed, clutching at Twilight’s coat, “We were upstairs, and a bunch of tentacles got through, and I tried to fight them, but one… one got Owlowiscious! He got carried off! I’m sorry!”
Twilight gripped the little drake a little tighter. “It’s okay. We’re going to stop this. Let’s get inside, I think the tentacles are regrouping from your… ah… assault.”
Spike nodded, wiping at his eyes, and looked past Twilight to the rest of the girls. Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Fluttershy were on the verge of tears themselves. Applejack and Rainbow Dash gave Spike proud nods and daring grins. Pinkie smiled, winking at Spike. He felt a weight lift off of his young shoulders. The girls were here. They’d be okay.
Twilight led the girls and Spike inside quickly, shutting and blocking the front door once more with a judicial use of her magic. They headed immediately downstairs, and Twilight shut the heavy door to the basement behind them and enacted her protection spells and wards. They were as safe as they could be, for the moment.
Rarity set Sweetie Belle down and sat next to her sister, exhaling slowly as some of the tension left her. “We’re safe, Sweetie Belle. Just try to rest. I know you must be exhausted.”
“I-I don’t think I can, Rarity. I’m still pretty scared,” Sweetie Belle said quietly.
Rarity smiled, patting her on the shoulder. “Never fear. Spike is here. You saw what he could to to those nasty things. They can’t hurt you.”
This seemed to placate Sweetie Belle, and she nodded, looking at Spike with a new appreciation. Rarity approached the rest of the group, who were examining their subterranean surroundings. The basement was a massive laboratory, filled with equipment and notebooks. The current theme of study seemed to be psychology and relationships. No doubt this was where Twilight and Spike had compiled the list of compatible batchelors for Rarity to snuggle. Indeed, there was a chalkboard with a massive list of names on it, with the majority crossed off. Rarity examined the list briefly, pondering the kind of depth of knowledge it took for a pony to know her well enough to narrow down her choices so quickly. Twilight sat at a stool, peering at a notebook, and Rainbow Dash stood near the door, listening for the sound of intruding tentacles. Applejack had laid down next to Fluttershy, looking exhausted and worried. Fluttershy fretted over her tired friend. Pinkie Pie was bouncing from machine to machine, examining them with glee. Rarity spoke up, first. “So. What is the plan, now?”
Twilight frowned, looking up from her notes. “Well, there must be something we’re missing. Some component. We know that love is a big part of the equation, but without your parents in the mix, and the love between sisters not being the right type of love, we can say that… even if we had found your parents, it wasn’t going to work. Familial love doesn’t work, nor does the love we have for each other. Quantity didn’t have any effect. That leaves… romantic love. But we tried all the eligible bachelors that had the best compatability, and that didn’t work. We need something... purer, maybe?”
Rarity regarded the list of ponies on the blackboard, looking carefully through the crossed-out names. Her eyes slowly moved from the blackboard to Spike, and then back again, a slow glimmer of comprehension at Twilight's words entering her eye. After a moment, she called out to Spike. “Spike, darling. Would you help me?”
Spike nodded, walking over to stand beside Rarity. “Sure! What do you need, Rarity?”
She smiled at the little dragon. “I need you to help me understand how you made this list.”
“O-oh,” Spike said, blushing. “Well… it wasn’t easy. I had to try and figure out the pony that… that you’d like the most, or would be the most compatible with in a short period of time.”
Rarity nodded, encouraging him. “That doesn’t sound easy, but I do appreciate all the hard work you had to put in. How did you manage to narrow it down?”
Spike’s blush deepened. “W-well, I just… I know what you do and don’t like. So I started there. I also remember all the times you’d complain about stallions. Or when you’d daydream about something romantic while I was helping you at the boutique. I… I know a lot about you, I guess.”
Rarity’s smile grew gentle, and she sat down next to Spike, regarding the list carefully. “Tell me.”
“I… I know how much you want an equal. Somepony that won’t just treat you like a mare, but a partner. You want their respect as much as you want their love. You… you want a stallion that holds similar qualities to your friends. Somepony kind like Fluttershy, who will take care of you when you are feeling low. Somepony who is quick with a wink or a laugh, like Pinkie Pie. Somepony who will work hard beside you, like Applejack, and be honest with you, even if sometimes that hurts.” Spike’s eyes closed, and his voice grew confident. Rarity’s gaze slowly drifted from the list to the little dragon beside her, and the rest of the room grew quiet.
“You want somepony that will be loyal to you, above anypony else, like Rainbow Dash, and somepony smart, like Twilight. You want somepony that can appreciate you for who you are, but you also want somepony that can challenge you to do better. Somepony that can tell you what you need to hear, when you need to hear it.”
“While, sometimes, you fantasize about a knight or prince to sweep you off your hooves… you really want somepony that is realistic. Somepony like… like yourself. Generous, and… b-beautiful, outside and inside.”
The room was still. Spike opened his eyes, a blush spreading across his face. “Uh, I…”
Rarity stared around the room, at the shocked and amused faces. Rarity smiled at them all, and laughed quietly. Spike deflated, looking cresfallen. “Sorry, Rarity, I just—”
Rarity put a hoof over his mouth, closing it before he could speak further. “No. Never, ever apologize to me, Spike, not for that.” She inhaled slowly, and then exhaled, her eyes watering slightly. “It was the sweetest, most kind thing that anypony has ever said about me.” She swallowed, a wry smile briefly flashing across her lips. “For the Element of Generosity, I certainly seem to want a lot of things.”
Spike shook his head, suddenly emphatic. “No. You deserve all of that, Rarity!”
Rarity reached out and touched Spike’s cheek gently. “You… you really believe all of that about me, don’t you?”
“O-of course. I…” Spike froze.
Rarity leaned forward, nose to nose with Spike. “Tell me, Spike. Tell me, and mean it. You’ll never, ever get a better chance. It’s the hug-pocalypse, after all. What is there left to lose?”
“You,” Spike breathed.
Rarity’s eyes filled with tears at the sweet words. “Spike… Spike, I think you made a rather dramatic oversight on your list.”
“Y-yeah?” Spike said, swallowing hard, a blush rising to his cheeks.
“You weren’t on it,” she whispered.
Rarity leaned forward and pulled Spike into a tight embrace, holding the dear little dragon close to her heart, and Spike wrapped his arms around her. They stayed like that, cheek to cheek, Spike’s nose buried in Rarity’s fur and her hooves running gently down his back.
“I love you.”
From above came a rumbling sound, like the world was being torn asunder. Rarity and Spike did not move, strong in their embrace. Magical auras suddenly exploded from between them, sending twinkling lights into the air, like a thousand fireflies of different colors were released in the room. The sparkling lights danced around the pair, setting Rarity’s mane to swirl dramatically, and then flew upward and phasing through the ceiling. The shaking slowly stopped.
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Sweetie Belle sat quietly, holding onto one-another as the tremors finally abated. They smiled, giggling as Spike and Rarity finally broke apart. Spike looked dazed and flushed, but he didn’t stray too far, keeping one hand on Rarity’s chest. Rarity held a hoof over his hand, smiling down at him fondly. “All this time, we should have known the answer,” she said, looking to her friends and sister.
Twilight smiled, wiping at her eyes. “We… should have. We really should have. I feel sort of silly for not thinking of it.”
Applejack chuckled, “Honestly, it should'a been obvious.”
Fluttershy nodded, wiping at her damp cheeks and giggling. “That was… so cute!”
Pinkie Pie pronked in place, “The cutest thing EVER!”
Rainbow Dash blushed. “Meh. It was a’ight.”
Rarity shot Rainbow Dash a glare, pointing a hoof at her. “Don’t give me that bluster, Rainbow Dash! I saw you wiping at some tears a moment ago!” She laughed, holding Spike close to her side. “You can’t just close us off, Rainbow! You’ve been acting dodgy this whole time, and you promised to tell us why!”
“Yeah, yeah! Give a pony a break! Why don’t we go check out what happened outside, first?” Rainbow Dash said, spreading her wings and zipping to the door.
Twilight lowered her protective spells, and Rainbow Dash flew quickly out the door, leading the rest of the group out. The library was in shambles, but not a single scrap of fabric from the cuddly tentacles remained. They stepped, blinking, out into the sunlight. The portal to the edge of the Cuddleverse was gone, and a blue sky had replaced it. The sun shone over Ponyville, revealing the damage and mess. Houses were destroyed, business damaged, windows broken. All around lay exhausted, over-snuggled ponies, groaning and sitting up and stretching out over-worked limbs that had been gregariously snuggled.
“It’s over. We did it!” Twilight cheered, and the rest of the group took up the cry, laughing and hugging each other happily.
Spike stood awkwardly next to Rarity, looking up at her. “So… what does this mean for… us?”Rarity looked down at him and bent down, kissing him demurely on the cheek. “For us… well. I have a newfound respect for you, Spike. You may be young, but you have grown up before my eyes, today, in many ways. I… think some time may be prudent…” Spike looked briefly crestfallen, but Rarity continued quickly, “but, I will still need snuggles from my dragon.”
Spike glanced up. “Your dragon?”
Rarity grinned a fierce grin at him, leaning down to look him in the eyes. “Yes. My dragon. Because, don’t you doubt, you have given yourself to me, and so generously , may I add. You are the sweetest, dearest friend, and your feelings of pure love for me saved us all.”
“What... what about your feelings... for me?” Spike breathed, clutching his hands together.
Rarity bit her lip, exhaling slowly. "Well, there are things to consider, Spike. You can agree, of course, that you are still so young. I can't promise anything, now, but... I can promise that until you're grown, I will wait, and once you are, I will give you a chance that you so rightly deserve."
Spike nodded slowly. "So... not now, but someday?"
Rarity smiled and gave him a nod. Spike blushed and looked away, kicking at the ground with one foot, suddenly pensive, before he looked up at Rarity. "You don't have to wait. I'll take my own time growing up, but I know that when I'm ready, I'll come to you. There's nopony or dragon that loves you more, and if I can prove that to you today, I'll be able to do it again. When we're both ready."
It was Rarity's turn to blush, this time. She giggled, giving Spike a playful shove. "My! So certain of yourself, Mister Spike! Well, I will certainly hold you to your word. After all, that is part your dragon code, is it not?"
Spike puffed out his chest. "Of course! Just you wait and see, Rarity. I'll be sweeping you off your hooves before you know it."
Rarity laughed, giving Spike another hug. "I will look forward to that day, then."
Ponies began to gather around, coats disheveled and manes askew, celebrating the end of the cuddly tyranny of Snuggoth. Out of the crowd stepped two figures in patchy, knit robes. Cookie Crumbles and Hondo Flanks trotted towards Rarity and Sweetie Belle, glancing around sheepishly. Sweetie Belle gasped, and pointed. "Rarity, look! Mom and Dad are all right!"
Rarity turned to regard her parents, scowling as they quickly threw off their cult robes. Sweetie Belle had no such reservations, crying openly as she rushed to slam into Cookie's chest, hugging her mother fiercely. "Mom! Dad!"
"Sweetie Belle! We're so glad you're safe!" Cookie said, hugging her daughter.
Rarity approached, shooting Hondo a glare. "You have a lot to explain. You left my sister, your daughter , alone during this crisis!"
Hondo nodded, looking abashed. "We hoped that if we offered ourselves to Snuggoth, he would spare Sweetie Belle his snuggly wrath."
"We did it to try to protect her, don't'cha know?" Cookie added, holding Sweetie Belle tightly.
Sweetie Belle glared up at her parents. "Don't ever do that again! Promise me!"
"We won't, Sweetie Belle!" they both said, quickly.
"And no more cuteness training!" Rarity added.
"No more!" Hondo said, nodding in agreement.
"You can be as awful as you want, now, Sweetie!" Cookie said, beaming at her daughter.
"You can grow up to be a rebellious teenager!" Hondo said happily.
"Or act like a terrible child! Goodness knows, it'd be a welcome change of pace!" Cookie added with a wink.
"Can..." Sweetie swallowed nervously, "Can... I watch wrestling with you guys, now?"
"Of course, Sweetie."
"Yay!" Sweetie Belle said, giggling happily.
Rarity frowned, eyeing her parents critically for a moment, before joining her sister in pulling them into a hug. "Oh, and burn those tacky robes at once," she added, holding her parents close.
Spike and Twilight stood together, surveying the damaged library. Twilight pulled Spike close to her side, sitting down next to him. "You were very, very brave today, Spike. Not only in protecting the library, but in how you admitted your feelings to Rarity. I'm really proud of you."
Spike chuckled, leaning into Twilight's side. "Aw, it wasn't so bad. It felt great to get that off my chest, ya know?"
A hoot echoed from the crowd of ponies around them, and fluttering from the crowd came a very ruffled looking Owlowiscious. He gave another hoot and flapped his way over to land next to Twilight and Spike. Spike gasped, and then grabbed his feathery companion into a hug. "Owlowiscious! You're okay! I was worried about you!"
"Who," Owlowiscious hooted.
"You, ya big feather duster!" Spike said, laughing.
Twilight smiled, patting Owlowiscious fondly on the head, and turned once more to look at the library. "You know what this means, don't you?"
Spike and Owlowiscious froze in their celebration, looking at Twilight. Twilight's smile widened. "We get to re-organize the whole library!"
Spike and Owlowiscious both shared a glance and a resigned sigh. "No rest for the heroes, eh buddy?"
"Who," Owlowiscious agreed.
Applejack turned on Rainbow Dash. “All right. We beat the snugglegod. We broke the curse. It’s time you ponied up, Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash made to leap away, but Applejack caught her by the tail. “Oh no you don’t!” She dragged her back down to the earth and sat on her prismatic tail, grounding her. “Spill, sugarcube.”
“Noooooo !” Rainbow Dash whined.
Twilight stepped forward, glancing around at her friends. “I’ll tickle your hooves, Rainbow Dash, I swear I will if you don’t tell!”
Rainbow Dash grew pale. “You wouldn’t!”
Twilight summoned a quill and turned the feathery end towards Rainbow Dash, who blanched and held up a hoof. “Okay! Okay! You win!”“You’ve been so flighty and nervous, darling. It’s obvious that you had some kind of experience while I was visiting ponies in my sleep.” Rarity said, stepping over to speak with Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash covered her face with her hooves, “Ughhhh… It’s so lame, though. Promise not to tell anypony.”
Pinkie Pie raised a hoof, and everypony and dragon present mimicked her as she recited solemnly, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
Rainbow sighed slowly. “Okay… So… that night, after I went to sleep…”
Rainbow Dash awoke to a warm body draped across her middle. She held back a shriek, sitting bolt-upright as her wings flared open in alarm. “What the—”
Her exclamation died in her throat as her adjusting eyes took in the familiar curled mane and cream coat of one of her best friends. “Rarity?”
“Mmm…” Rarity murmured, clinging onto Rainbow Dash’s waist.
“Uh, hey. You alright? What are you doing in my bed?” Rainbow Dash’s eyes crossed, and she voiced a more immediate concern. “How the heck did you get up here?”
“Hmg… was… ‘mergency…” Rarity seemed to respond, still asleep.
“Uh… that still doesn’t explain…” Rainbow Dash reached down and realized with a small amount of horror that Rarity’s lower legs were dangling through the cloud flooring. The movement caused Rarity’s upper torso to slip slightly, and Rarity’s eyes squeezed a little tighter as she clung to Rainbow Dash in her sleep.
“Ohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash quickly grabbed onto Rarity before she could slip any further, pulling her friend into a more secure, if awkward, position draped across her lap. Rarity sighed happily.
“Okay, now I’m really confused…” Rainbow Dash stared at Rarity, but the sleeping unicorn did not stir, seeming content to be close to Rainbow Dash.
“J-just, hang on, okay? I’m gonna try something...” Rainbow Dash reached out and snagged a few of her blankets, which were made from materials enchanted to prevent them from falling through clouds, and reinforced the bottom of her bed, carefully laying a layer of the enchanted material out. They interacted with the bed as if it were solid ground, creating a barrier between Rarity’s unenchanted form and the cloud surface. Finally, Rainbow Dash shifted Rarity’s lower hooves onto the blankets. They didn’t budge, taking Rarity’s weight with ease. Rainbow Dash sighed with relief as she rolled Rarity off of her, placing the unicorn on the blankets. She quickly stacked some similarly enchanted pillows and cushions around the perimeter of the safe area, an extra barrier between her sleeping friend and a sudden fall.
“All right, safe and sound,” murmured Rainbow Dash.
Rarity lay in the middle of the little nest of pillows. She frowned in her sleep, her hooves reaching out and feeling around for some missing element, before she curled into a ball, her body shaking. Rainbow Dash glanced around her room, noting the lack of extra blankets—she’d used all of them to make the secure area for Rarity. With a sigh, Rainbow Dash stepped into the blanketed area and lay down next to Rarity. Rarity reacted immediately, rolling over and curling into her side, her shivers subsiding almost immediately. Rainbow Dash giggled. “Okay, okay. Sheesh. I can’t believe you. Breaking into my house, somehow, and managing to get to my bed without falling through the floor.”
“Mmnh… stay…for dinner...” breathed Rarity.
Rainbow Dash blushed slightly. “Uh… yeah. Okay.”
Rarity’s forehooves suddenly reached out, wrapping themselves around Rainbow Dash’s waist, and she found herself pulled into a close embrace. Rainbow Dash’s blush deepened. “Yeah. Not weird at all.”
Rarity’s hot breath tickled Rainbow Dash’s ears, and Rainbow giggled. “Yeah, okay, maybe this is weird. Too weird. I like you, Rarity, but this is… pretty intimate.”
Rarity’s snuggling intensified, as did Rainbow Dash’s discomfort. “O-okay… I’m getting mixed signals, here…”
“Hnn… tell me about it…” Rarity murmured.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “R-really?”
Rarity didn’t respond, seeming content to cling to her side. Rainbow Dash exhaled slowly. “Sure. I’ll tell you about it…” an uncertain grin spread across her face as she eyed her friend.
-- MOMENTS LATER --
Rainbow Dash was a blubbering mess, holding a book full of photographs in her hooves as she sobbed tearily over the pictures. The album was full of pictures of her and her friends, playing together, doing sports, having fun. “I’m… I’m…”
Rainbow Dash threw her head back and wailed, “I’m so lonely ! Rarity, you don’t even know! I want to hang out with everypony all the time , but I gotta stay cool and aloof , so I can’t do it as much as I want without ruining my image! Everypony expects me to be… awesome ! All the time! Like I could go around the friggin’ world for them! And really, I just want somepony to give me a hug and tell me that I’m a petite, pretty pegasus pony ! Sometimes, I wanna be cherished, Rarity! Like a girly, sissy, princess!”
Rainbow Dash sobbed, clutching her friend, and exhaling slowly as her friend snuggled her and listened intently. “I… I really needed to say that. Like, you have no idea.”
She curled into Rarity, hugging her friend close. “I still don’t know how you got up here, but I’m glad I could tell you that.”
A few yawns and warm sighs later, and Rainbow Dash was fast asleep.
All her friends stared at her, and then broke down laughing. Rainbow covered her face with her hooves again. “You guys suck!”
And then they all piled onto her and gave her a snuggle.
Author's Note
... And that is it.
Whew. What a ride it has been. A lot of halts and stops, here, but we're finally done!
I'm glad everybody enjoyed this story as much as they did, and I hope the conclusion is satisfactory to you all. I had a blast writing this story, as silly as it was. Until next time!
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Princess Twilight Sparkle had been having a bad day.
She’d been in Canterlot all day, working with Princess Celestia’s staff on a proposal for a new inter-library system of lending books via teleportation kiosks. There were so many books to be acquired, and so few ways to send those books out to smaller libraries, outside the prohibitively expensive Pegasus Mail System. They had weight limits, after all; and most healthy and able mailponies could only carry a dozen or so books before becoming dangerously encumbered. It would be rather expensive to create the teleportation kiosks, but Twilight was certain that in the long run they would pay off.
Princess Celestia hadn’t been so certain, though. While she agreed that it was a shame that it was so difficult for books to be transported to various libraries, the initial start-up cost was rather high. Twilight’s normally inscrutably pleasant mentor had actually choked on her tea when she read the estimated bit cost.
The proposal had gone downhill from there.
Twilight and Celestia had debated at length, discussing the merits and the costs and everything that was involved with starting a major project. They’d been forced to cut their talk short after Celestia had been summoned away to deal with an awkward situation involving an amorous minotaur diplomat and a hapless dairy farmer, leaving Twilight with the distinct impression that her dream of instantaneous inter-library lending may have to wait indefinitely, or at least until she could discern a way to cut down the start-up cost.
The moon rose over Ponyville as Twilight trudged through the empty streets. She was more than happy to see the branches of the library’s upper canopy come into view. It had been a long day. “Fourteen million bits isn’t that much,” Twilight grumbled quietly as she opened the door to her library home.
She shot a quiet glare at the prototype teleportation kiosk that sat in the center of the library’s first floor, silently blaming its sleek design and complex enchantments for her failure. So the teleportation matrix linking dozens of libraries required an emerald of at least 300 carats in weight per kiosk? She was certain that the treasury had gems like that just lying around, doing nothing but adding value to the heaps of golden bits, priceless artifacts, and other things that were kept in the Canterlot Vaults. Even if there weren’t enough of the right type of gem in the vaults, negotiating with local dragons for access to their hoards wasn’t totally out of the question, no matter what face Celestia made at the mention of Draconic-Equine Diplomatic Relations. Surely she could acquire a few for her project!
“Spiiiiiike ? I’m home! Are you still awake?” Twilight called, turning slowly to take in the dark rooms of the library.
Spike did not answer, though Twilight wasn’t surprised. It was well past his bedtime, and she knew the young dragon enjoyed his sleep. Owlowiscious greeted her arrival with a soft hoot, floating on silent wings to a perch on the first floor. Twilight smiled at her feathery companion. “Hello Owlowiscious.”
Owlowiscious answered with another hoot, his head tilting inquisitively at Twilight’s mussed mane and disheveled appearance. Twilight sighed. “The proposal didn’t go over so well. The costs of the project are too high. I’m going to have to get another audience with Celestia in a day or so, assuming we’re not at war with the minotaurs by then.”
The owl looked startled, hooting a confused inquiry. “Oh, it’s nothing, I’m certain that the princess was able to handle Ambassador Toned Steel and his… awkward advances. The dairy farmer probably won’t press charges.”
Owlowiscious had nothing more to say on the matter of diplomatic relations, so Twilight gave him a gentle pat on the head. “I’m going to bed. Would you mind sorting the cooking section by cuisine ethnicity tonight? I changed it to alphabetical by author yesterday, but I gave it some thought, and I think it is easier to parse when they’re sorted by cuisine type.”
Her pet gave a smart salute and flew away, intent on the recently re-ordered section of cook books. Twilight smiled to herself as she trotted quietly up the stairs, her horn lighting the way, careful not to wake up Spike as she arrived in her room. As usual, Spike lay in his smaller bed, curled up and mostly buried underneath his blue blanket. Twilight gave the sleeping dragon a gentle kiss on the cheek, dimming the glow of her light spell so as not to awaken him. Twilight shook off her golden shoes and lay them out neatly beside her bed, and set her Tiara of Magic inside the special case she’d had commissioned for its safekeeping—locking it with her magic once it was properly secured.
Stretching her wings, Twilight slid beneath the covers of her bed, dismissing her light spell as she did so. The room fell into almost complete darkness, only moonlight coming through the nearby window as illumination. Twilight sighed, shifting several times and adjusting her wings. It’d taken some practice, but she’d finally gotten used to sleeping with her new feathery appendages. She rolled onto her stomach, stretching her wings out briefly before settling them in a neutral position, and closed her eyes.
It was perhaps minutes, or maybe hours, later when Twilight woke up from a nightmare. She gasped, jerking slightly, but found a comforting warmth at her side. She exhaled slowly, curling back, the embrace of the warm blankets and warmer body beside her comforting her. Twilight relaxed, sighing softly, sleep drifting ever closer.
Her eyes snapped open as something clicked in the back of her mind.
“Mmm… zmf… myes, the… t-the pumpkins will do nicely… darling… hrgmmpf…”
Twilight slowly turned to look, terror freezing her limbs. She was greeted by a familiar purple mane and a creamy white coat. One arm draped gently over Twilight’s back as she shifted slightly, fright turning swiftly to confusion.
“R-Rarity?”
Rarity grumbled incoherently in response, still asleep. “Hmm? Th-that’s… nice, Sweetie, go… play with the… hmmf… timberwolves…”
Twilight blinked, attempting to shift away from her friend’s embrace, but Rarity clung to her like she’d been glued on, her grumbling continuing as she nuzzled one soft, fuzzy cheek against Twilight’s shoulder. “N-ngh… no… mmf… chartreuse is… hmph… out this season…”
“Rarity, please wake up,” Twilight implored, growing more uncomfortable. Not that Rarity’s warm form pressed against hers, shielding her from the cold night, wasn’t pleasant, but it was still rather inappropriate to be so… close . And uninvited, at that.
“Mph? Hmm… Twilight… your mane looks a mess… mghff… darling… y’ should come with me to… the spa…” Rarity replied.
Closer to the mark, at any rate , thought Twilight. “Rarity, you’re making me a bit uncomfortable. I’m all for sleepovers, but this is a tad much. How’d you even get in here?” she said, her voice cracking slightly.
“Hmph… five more minutes, mother… need to… hgmpf… look m’ best…” Rarity murmured sleepily, wrapping her arms tighter around Twilight.
Twilight wriggled slightly, her wings and forelegs pinned to her sides. She sighed, exasperated, and used her telekinesis to pry herself from Rarity’s sleepy embrace, slipping out of her bed and nearly tripping over Spike, who stood breathlessly at the side of the bed. Twilight froze, staring at Spike. Spike stared back with big, round eyes. He and Twilight shared an awkward moment, sharing in a blush that spread across their faces simultaneously. “Uh… hey, Spike.”
“Um… hiya, Twilight… w-what’s going on?” Spike stammered, his eyes darting between Rarity and Twilight.
“Mhpf… twenty seven!...Yes… hmmmph… more than enough…” slurred Rarity.
“I… honestly don’t know,” Twilight replied, turning to look at Rarity. “She must have snuck in, though I can’t figure out why.”
“Er… yeah… that sounds p-plausible…” Spike said, wringing his hands.
Twilight rolled her eyes and placed a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “Spike, I promise, this is just as startling to me. I woke up, and Rarity was… well, sleeping in my bed.”
Spike shifted back a step, staring at Rarity. “Should we… wake her up?”
“Hmmmhmm… crab legs… for everypony … ha…”
Twilight and Spike shared an amused chuckle. Twilight shook her head after a moment’s consideration. “No, it’s okay, I guess. She’s pretty dead asleep. I’ll sleep downstairs, and tomorrow we can ask her what happened.”
“Okay,” Spike agreed, sliding back towards his basket at the foot of the bed.
Twilight smirked. “Grab your blanket, loverboy, you’re sleeping downstairs too.”
Blushing, Spike quickly grabbed his blanket and pillow. “O-of course! I’m a honorable dragon!”
Twilight ruffled a hoof along Spike’s headscales. “Of course you are. Let’s get some rest.”
Twilight awoke early the next morning as the sun hit her face. She groaned slightly, sitting up in the pile of pillows she’d assembled into a makeshift bed. She stretched, her back crackling as she did so, and stood up, her wings flapping open as she moved. “Ugh. Good morning?”
Nopony answered her, and she grumbled, heading for the kitchen. She pushed open the door, and was greeted by the gentle sizzle of warming potatoes and the scent of olive oil. Spike, clad in his apron and chef’s hat, gave her a cheerful smile. “G’morning, Twilight! I’m making hash browns for you and Rarity! I hope she likes potatoes.”
Twilight smiled blearily at the young dragon. “I’m sure she’ll love them. Did you happen to make tea? I’ll bring her up a cup, see how she’s doing.”
“Sure did! Saffron and jasmine, Rarity’s favorite!” Spike chirped, gesturing to the warming teapot on the stove.
Smirking, Twilight levitated the tea and two teacups over, pouring the strong drink as she spoke. “Wow. You sure know a lot about what Rarity likes.”
Spike blushed, busying himself with flipping the shredded potatoes to hide his embarrassment. “Well, uh, yeah…”
Twilight giggled, giving Spike a small nuzzle on the cheek. “You’re a good friend, Spike.”
With that, she levitated the two cups of tea and trotted up the stairs, carefully opening her bedroom door. “Rarity? Are you awake? I’ve got tea, and…”
The bedroom was empty, the covers in a lump in the middle of the bed. Twilight frowned. “Huh. That’s weird. Where’d she go?”
Rarity Snuggles Everypony (Whether They Like It Or Not)
“All right, everypony, we’re reaching capacity for the room, so if you’ve been snuggling for longer than twenty minutes, switch out with somepony that’s waiting and take a break. Fluttershy has water and Pinkie Pie has refreshments,” Twilight said from her balcony position overlooking the mass of hugging ponies. She had all of her scientific and thaumic monitors set up and was watching the readouts carefully.
Rarity sat in the middle of town hall, her forelegs wrapped around Mrs. Cake, who was chuckling as she minded Pound and Pumpkin, both of whom had attached themselves to Rarity’s rear hooves and were snuggling up a storm. Behind Rarity was Mr. Cake, who was being extra careful of Rarity’s mane as he hugged her. Lyra and Bon Bon were to Rarity’s right and left, respectively, and while their forelegs were wrapped around Rarity, they only had eyes for each other, giggling and winking and chatting as they snuggled the mare between them. Rarity stood still, leaning slightly into Mrs. Cake, her eyes half-lidded and a growing frown on her face. More hooves of other ponies touched her coat, legs, and tail, attempting to maximize the snuggles. The ponies around her alternated between speaking in concerned breaths about the tentacles being held at bay outside the town hall, and complimenting Rarity on the state of her coat or coif of her mane.
“Really fantastic, Mrs. Rarity. You’ve been snuggling for over two hours, and your coat is still so smooth! You gotta tell me what product you use,” stated Mrs. Cake, smiling anxiously at the over-cuddled mare.
“Mane And Tail Conditioner, darling,” Rarity droned, yawning demurely.
“Ooh, fancy!”
“My daily brushing regimen certainly helps, of course,” added Rarity, before she turned to gaze up at Twilight. “Twilight, darling, I could really use a break.”
“No breaks! We have to find somepony that works!” Twilight said, her hoof flying across a series of ledgers and a massive chart labeled ‘compatibility’. “I’ve been measuring the energies and changes in the tentacles as you’ve been snuggling, and I think I’m on the verge of determining a relationship between your state of snuggle-ability and the number of tentacles extruding from the Cuddleverse!”
“Any insights?” Rarity asked, frowning and shifting uncomfortably as the Cake family left and Minuette and Sparkler took their place.
“Well, nothing conclusive, but I’m noting a slow increase of tentacle extrusion over time spent cuddling.”
Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “You mean to tell me that all this snuggling is making things worse ?”
“Causation doesn’t imply correlation!” Twilight retorted, before staring down at the assembled snuggling ponies. “Maybe… um… we should snuggle harder ?”
Rarity scowled, gesturing to the four ponies currently hugging her tightly with an air of one who has endured far more close personal contact with ponies than she’d intended that day. “How, pray tell, could we possibly snuggle harder ? Anything beyond this public display of affection would be breaching into lewd and lascivious territory, and we’re all in agreement that Snuggoth or Yog-Cuddoth or Cuddlethulu or whatever this blasted beast is called is not remotely interested in that sort of thing. It’s an elder snugglegod from the edge of the cuddleverse, not… er…” Rarity hesitated, at a loss for words.
“An elder kissygod from the edge of the makeout-verse?” Pinkie supplied from across the room, grinning.
“Precisely,” Rarity said with a nod.
“Well, we’ve got to think of something! These snuggly tentacles are getting out of control. I rounded up half the pegasus ponies in Cloudsdale, and even with all the extra fliers, we’re having trouble keeping them away from here!” Rainbow Dash rasped.
“Keep them focused, Rainbow Dash. Princess Celestia said she’s rounding up the guard. They’ll be here soon!” Twilight said, returning to her measurements and studies.
Rarity sighed as Lyra and Bon Bon left and two ponies she didn’t know arrived. “Ah, hello.”
“Nice to meet you, Miss Rarity,” said a cream coated, red-maned pegasus pony wearing a wonderbolts hoodie.
“Yes, indeed. Come on, don’t be shy. Nopony else certainly has been,” Rarity said exasperatedly, reaching out and grabbing the stallion into a hug.
“I don’t think my husband is going to be your special somepony,” muttered the white coated, orange-maned unicorn mare on Rarity’s other side.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “For all we know, it could be you , darling,” she said as she grabbed the mare with a free hoof and pulled her in tight.
The front doors to the town hall burst open with a flash of shining, golden magic, revealing Princess Celestia. “Twilight Sparkle! I have arrived, and the guard is helping the pegasai outside hold the appendages of Snuggoth at bay. What can I do?”
Twilight pointed down towards Rarity. “Get snuggling!”
Rarity squealed in surprise as a flash of golden magic burst next to her, and Celestia materialized from the teleportation spell in all her majesty. The swanlike princess spread her wings wide and enveloped Rarity, as well as those immediately in snuggling range, in a massive, feathery hug. Rarity giggled nervously. “H-hello, Princess Celestia. Ah… having a good day, I hope?”
Celestia smirked at Rarity. “It’s been a busy one.”
“But of course it has, dealing with this mess. I am terribly sorry about all this,” Rarity said, leaning in to Princess Celestia’s hug.
“Not to worry, my little pony. We will set things right, and find your special somepony.”
Rarity blinked and stared up at Princess Celestia. “Y-you don’t think…?”
Celestia winked at Rarity, “It could be me? Perhaps. Twilight, any change in the reaction?”
“Nothing yet!” Twilight called as she poured over her readings.
Princess Celestia scowled playfully at Rarity. “Hmm. Looks like you are off the hook, Miss Rarity.”
Rarity giggled. “Well, as much as I’ve dreamed of becoming a princess, it looks like it isn’t to be.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Blueblood is coming with Luna. You’ve got at least two more chances,” Celestia said, beaming cheekily at Rarity.
Pinkie Pie stuck her head through the crowd, grinning at Rarity. “Heya Rarity! Can I get you a cupcake?”
Rarity, acting on reflex by this point, simply grabbed Pinkie Pie and pulled her in for a snuggle. Pinkie giggled and snorted. “Rarityyy! I know I’m a snuggly pudgy Pinkie Pie, but I have a job to do.”
Rarity chuckled, “Terribly sorry, Pinkie Pie. I just—”
“Hold it! ” called Twilight suddenly, “Something just happened! Rarity, who are you snuggling?”
Rarity blinked and took in the ponies surrounding her at the moment. “Ah, let’s see, most recent additions are Mister and Missus…?”
“Piano,” supplied the cream-coated pegasus.
“Mister and Missus Piano, Mister Prose and Miss Lily, Princess Celestia, and Pinkie Pie, purely by accident.” Rarity said as she accounted for the ponies snuggling her.
“Pinkie Pie? How’d she get in there?” Twilight asked, peering down through the crowd of snuggling ponies.
“That’s a good question!” Pinkie Pie replied, beaming up at Twilight.
“What’s happening, Twilight?” asked Rarity, the gathered ponies echoing her question.
“The tentacles just dramatically slowed down their rate of manifestation through the portal,” Twilight noted, looking between the sky overhead through a nearby window and the ponies below. “Which means we need to experiment. Rarity, let go of Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight watched the portal above with interest, noting that at the exact moment Rarity let Pinkie Pie go, the knit and cuddly tentacles redoubled their protruding, snagging up more ponies from the surrounding countryside as they descended from the rift in reality. “Right, hug Pinkie Pie again!”
As soon as Rarity clung to Pinkie Pie, the tentacles slowed down again. Twilight cackled. “Excellent! A breakthrough!”
“Neato burrito! I’m a breakthrough!” Pinkie giggled, snuggling Rarity happily.
Twilight pointed to Rainbow Dash as she flew by. “Rainbow Dash, grab Applejack from outside!”
“On it!” said Rainbow Dash with a jaunty salute, before she zipped away.
Twilight turned her gaze to the edge of the room, where Fluttershy was handing out cups of water to tired ponies. “Fluttershy?”
“Mm, yes?” Fluttershy struggled to make herself heard over the crowd.
“Get in there and snuggle Rarity! I’ve got a hunch!”
Fluttershy squeaked as she began gently working her way through the crowd. “O-oh, all right… excuse me… pardon me… sorry, excuse me…”
Celestia made room for Fluttershy as the timid pegasus joined the group of snuggling ponies. She smiled at Rarity. “Hello, Rarity.”
“Hello, Fluttershy, dear. I hope you don’t mind to terribly, but I’m going to snuggle you now,” Rarity said as she wrapped a hoof around her dear friend’s shoulders and pulled her in close.
“Oh! I don’t mind,” Fluttershy said, beaming happily.
“The rate of tentacle extrusion is dropping significantly!” Twilight cheered.
The rest of the gathered ponies made a hole in the crowd as Rainbow Dash and Applejack raced into the town hall. “I got AJ, Twi! What do you need us for?”
“Get snuggling, both of you!” Twilight said, preoccupied with watching the readouts on her scientific equipment.
Rainbow Dash halted mid-trot, sweat beading on her face. “Oh, uh, snuggling? I think that, ah, they still need me outside! Helping with the tentacles! Not in here, with—ack!”
Applejack bit down on Rainbow Dash’s tail and dragged her along as she approached Rarity. “C’mon, Rnbow Dsh!”
“No!” Rainbow cried, hooves desperately scrabbling on the floor, “I’m too awesome for snuggles! I have an image to keep up!”
“Git in there!” Applejack heaved, sending Rainbow Dash careening into the waiting hooves of three of her best friends.
“Duaaaah !” Rainbow Dash crashed into Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, all three of whom immediately grabbed her and began snuggling.
Applejack guffawed and joined them, grabbing onto Rainbow Dash and giving her a good-natured noogie before letting her go and clinging to Rarity instead. Rainbow Dash contorted herself like a cat trying to escape an unwanted belly rub, to no avail. “Ponyfeathers,” Rainbow Dash grumbled as Rarity nuzzled her.
“Oh, Rainbow Dash, don’t be a grumpy pony. It’s perfectly all right to enjoy a hug among friends,” Rarity said, snuggling the petite pegasus.
“Hrmf. Says you,” Rainbow Dash said, blushing furiously.
“C’mon, Dashie! You gotta snuggle Rarity! It’s for the good of Equestria!” Pinkie said, giggling.
“Ain’t so bad, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack added.
“It’s nice, really,” Fluttershy said quietly.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Fine. For the good of Equestria.”
Turning around, Rainbow Dash grabbed onto Rarity and hugged her ferociously, causing Rarity to squeak as the air was nearly crushed from her lungs. “A little less… fervor, darling!” Rarity gasped.
Rainbow Dash’s blush intensified, “S-sorry! It’s not like I wanted to hug you or anything!”
“Aw, Rainbow Dash, you’re so tsundere!” Pinkie said.
“What?” Rainbow Dash said, blinking at Pinkie Pie incredulously.
“Never you mind Pinkie Pie, keep on snugglin’!” Applejack said, grinning happily as she held her best friends close.
Twilight watched above as the tentacles slowed significantly, one tentacle descending every few minutes, but the portal did not close. “Well, there’s something to having your friends snuggle you, but the curse hasn’t been stopped.”
“Well, this helps, doesn’t it?” Rarity asked.
“I suppose, but there are an awful lot of tentacles. They’ll still overwhelm us all in a few hours if we can’t stop the curse,” Twilight said.
“There has to be a solution. We can’t keep snuggling forever. I need to take a break and freshen up,” Rarity said, resting in the arms of her friends.
“Well, we know that there’s a correlation between the ponies you snuggle and the rate that Snuggoth invades our universe,” Twilight said, pondering the issue. “Does that mean that how close somepony is to Rarity affects the curse in some way?”
“So, the closer somepony feels to me, the greater the effect it has?” Rarity asked.
“I suppose that’s a valid theory, but I don’t know if there’s any way to test it. We’re your best friends. Who could possibly be closer to you?” Twilight asked, turning to face her instruments. “We need more data. There’s something we’re missing, here, something about all this doesn’t quite make sense. Big Macintosh was romantic, but it had no effect. Thunderlane was certainly enthusiastic, but it also didn’t do much. Poor Mr. Davenport was nervous, but very honest about his feelings, and nothing. We’re all just friends, and you’re close to us, but it’s just not enough. There’s a missing element, here.”
“C-can I stop snuggling, now?” Rainbow Dash whined.
Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a skeptical look. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash, why are you so embarassed? A hug amongst friends isn’t that drastic, and you’ve moved beyond hiding your feminine side.”
“Hey! Just because I go to the spa now doesn’t mean I’m okay with… smooshy mushy stuff! This is, uh, demeaning!” Rainbow Dash rasped, sweating slightly.
Applejack snorted. “Right . Dash, what’s yer problem? Twice now, Ah’ve caught ya tryin’ to start an ‘impromptu sleepover’ at my house,” Applejack said, making airquotes, “but when things start gettin’ close, you’re more skittish than a cat in a corn silo!”
“What does that even mean?” Rainbow Dash said, staring incredulously at Applejack.
“Don’t you change th’ subject! What’s goin’ on? We won’t judge ya, Dash, but you’ve gotta open up to us.” Applejack said, setting one hoof on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder.
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll tell you, but later , not now. Let’s get this curse broken, and then we’ll have all the time in the world to chat about my problems. Deal?”
“Fair enough,” Applejack said with a nod.
Meanwhile, Twilight poured over her data and observational notes, grimacing as she tried to comprehend the correlation between Rarity and snuggles. “There’s something to this. We need to test against something obvious. Who else could possibly be more close to Rarity than we all are?”
Rarity stared at Twilight, one eyebrow gracefully arching into a portrait of skepticism. “Really, darling? As important as you all are to me, there’s an obvious answer. My family.”
Twilight blinked twice before smacking her forehead with her hoof. “Of course. I’m sorry, Rarity, I feel like I’m slipping up.”
“It’s a high-stress situation, darling. We face certain… erm…” Rarity glanced out at the wooly, fuzzy tentacles falling from the sky around Ponyville, “... snugglocity… if we don’t break this awful curse. Nopony is to blame.”
Twilight sighed and gestured outside, “Well, then there’s only one thing to do. We have to get back to your parent’s house.”
Applejack held up a hoof, “Hold up, now. I don’t know if you’ve seen how bad it’s gotten out there, but there ain’t no way we’re gettin’ back to Rarity’s house without some of us gettin’ snuggled up. We’d need…”
“An army?” Princess Celestia supplied.
“Yeah! But where in the hay are we gonna get one?” Applejack said, frowning.
Princess Celestia smiled, and gestured to the front doors of the town hall. All heads turned to the doors. There was an extended pause, and Celestia noisily cleared her throat. Applejack chuckled nervously. “Ah, Princess, is there—”
The huge portrait window on the grand staircase landing on the second floor shattered explosively as Princess Luna and a dozen Lunar Guard pegasai burst through the glass. Everyone gasped. Luna shook her astral mane and reared up on her hind legs, and shouted, “Sister, I have arrived with reinforcements! It would seem we have arrived just in the nick of time. What does that make us, Captain?”
An armored pony cleared his throat beside Luna. “Big damn heros, Princess.”
Princess Luna smirked. “Are we not?”
Applejack shot a look at Princess Celestia, who simply smiled and shrugged, “Luna likes dramatic entrances. I had a fifty-fifty shot between the doors and the big window.”
Twilight Sparkle leapt up from her spot behind her machines. “Princess Luna! Perfect timing. We need to clear a path to Rarity’s house on the other side of Ponyville,” she said, gesturing beyond the broken window to the far side of town.
Luna turned to regard the situation outside, frowning at the mass of overly friendly appendages. “I have brought a full company of my guard’s best fliers, while the battalion has been left behind to safeguard Canterlot. The Solar Guard is getting overwhelmed. I fear it is only a matter of time before the populace finds themselves inexorably snuggled by the appendages of this… cuddlegod. Regardless, we should have enough strength to push through these fuzzy abominations and reach Lady Rarity’s family abode.”
“So… you can help?” asked Rainbow Dash, nose scrunching as she tried to follow Luna’s rambling statement.
“Indeed! My guard is ready!” Luna said, pointing to Rainbow Dash. “We only need a flier familiar with the area to lead us. Are you up to the task, Rainbow Dash?”
All the Lunar Guards turned to regard Rainbow Dash. The petite pegasus puffed herself up, trying to look professional, but was unable to hide her growing smile. “Oh, yeah. Yeah! No biggie, I’ll just… ah… lead a military unit on a special mission to save the world. Not like… that hasn’t been a dream of mine or anything!” Her attempt at playing it cool devolved into her leaping into the air and doing a backflip, before landing and trying to regain her composure.
“Gosh, this sure seems to be building up to a huge action sequence!” Pinkie Pie said, beaming.
“Oh,” Dash said, grinning at Pinkie Pie, “you know it is. Because I’m in charge!”
Twilight flew down to Rarity and Celestia, and the rest of the friends gathered together. “That seems to be settled, then. We’ve got a way. Rarity, are you up for this? We could try to bring your parents back here, instead, if you aren’t up for pushing through all the… uh…”
“Tacky, knit appendages of an elder snugglegod?” Rarity asked.
“Yeah, it doesn’t ever sound any less silly,” Twilight said with a sigh.
“It’s gonna be tough, and rough. Not exactly your style, Rares,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Ain’t nobody gonna blame ya for wantin’ to stay here. We can bring your family here,” Applejack added.
“It’s certainly safer here,” Fluttershy said, glancing nervously towards the windows.
“Princess Luna?” asked Rarity.
“Lady Rarity?”
“Are we going to get… violent… with the horrifically gauche tendrils?” Rarity called.
Luna glanced towards the fluffy tentacles. “I’d imagine they won’t let us through without resistance. We will have to destroy many.”
Rarity smiled serenely. “Good.” She returned her gaze to Twilight Sparkle, who took a step back at the fierce look in her friend’s eyes. “Yes. I am absolutely up for driving through those awful things like a seam ripper through old cotton. In fact, darling, it will be my pleasure ,” She spat vehemently, her voice like steel.
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Awesome. Let’s do this thing!”
Author's Note
A long time coming, but here is the penultimate chapter. Final stretch and all that! Thank you for your patience.
