USS Friendship is Magic

by Stephen King

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random
Length: 1039

Twilight Sparkle goes insane and nopony can stop her

Twilight Sparkle is Captain of the USS Friendship is Magic, and their journey goes crazy when they enter the Neutral Zone.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-06 17:21:09 UTC

Chapter 1

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We received reports about another damn special anomaly affecting the neutral zone, near where the rainbow pony terrorists have taken shelter from the glorious Murrican empire. Starfleet has dispatched our Ship, the USS Friendship is Magic, to investigate the area and bomb the rainbow pony terrorists for desecrating the imperial flag of our home planet. First Rainbow Dash is protesting against my option of  using the nuclear torpedoes in the neutral zone as it will ignite a war between the Murricans and Romulans. As Captain of this mighty long hard vessel, Captain Twilight Sparkle, I have the ability to override First Officer Rainbow Dash’s orders.

I will send the torpedoes over to the neutral zone and destroy those rainbow pony terrorists for defying the glorius Murrican empire and return home as a hero. The other crewmembers may planning a mutiny on my ship, but I’ve prepared for the worst outcome if it comes to this evil charade of power hungry earthworms fighting for their lives on this planet.

This world and universe will order and freedom from the chaos that is the neutral zone and the Murrican way of living. The Romulans will have to bring their uncooked steak so they can taste the good old fashioned way of cooking Murricans burgers and Murrican French Fries.

“I am Captain Twilight Sparkle of the USS Enterprise, and I speak for the Murrican Starfleet. You, Rainbow Pony terrorists of the neutral zone, and taking shelter in the neutral zone, you will cooperate or face your ultimate demise from the glorious Murrican empire. We will rain down our torpedoes in the neutral zone so we can have war against the Romulans and take their land and resources from their homeland. Cooperate or face the consequences.” Said Twilight Sparkle, Captain of the USS Friendship is Magic.

First Officer Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe what she was hearing from her Captain. It was a clear sign of disobedience from Starfleet that she will attack the neutral zone with nuclear friendship torpedoes. Rainbow Dash had a suspicion she was going insane from all of this space travel, but it was clear to her now that she had to start a mutiny aboard this ship in order to seek peace and keep exploring the galaxy.

“Lieutenant Pinkie Pie, and Lieutenant Fluttershy. I order you to take down the Captain and set course for home. This has clearly gotten out of hand and it’s getting much worse.” Said Rainbow Dash.

“Ha, Fools, I knew you’d be staging ye mutiny aboard me ship me own salty crew of the USS Friendship is magic. I say, Bring it on!” Yelled Twilight Sparkle. She was shrieking everywhere and throwing rocks at everypony in her vicinity. Everypony ducked and covered.

“Holy Hearth’s Warming Eve, Rainbow Dash, her weapons are far more powerful and technologically advanced than our own weapons. What shall we ever do First Officer Rainbow Dash of the USS Friendship is Magic?” Said the scared Fluttershy, shaking from trying to not get hit by rocks.

“There comes a time where every pony must face their demise, destruction, end, and death with dignity and honor, Fluttershy. We can’t sit here like sitting ducks and cowards. We must take back the USS Friendship is Magic before she fires the torpedoes toward the other rainbow pony terrorists. She is clearly going insane talking about the Murrican Empire, but I didn’t even know what that is. WE must die trying, or we have let everypony down.”

“Well, okay, then.” Pinkie Pie pulls the obligatory Party Cannon and knocks out Twilight Sparkle, Captain of the USS Friendship is Magic. She always successfully stops every antagonist in every story, so it’s alright to have this in here.

Later on, the USS Friendship is magic of the Starfleet command that conquered the Murrican Empire has taken to giving a trial to Captain Twilight Sparkle of the USS Friendship is magic that was involved in the threatening of the neutral rainbow ponies who have lived there for centuries and two days. No pony is pleased to hear that the Captain Twlight is losing her mind and becoming more insane by the day, and that First Officer Rainbow Dash is chosen to lead on as the new Captain of the USS Friendship is Magic.

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I Captain Rainbow Dash, the new captain of the USS Friendship is Magic, have taken a liking to becoming the new Captain of the Ship. Even though, I will miss Captain Twilight Sparkle despite here trying to blow up all of the rainbow ponies in the neutral zone to ignite a war against the Romulans. I will do my best and clearly I keep doing my best, and do bestest after that to keep my crew alive and well and conduct more space exploration missions into the unknown universe and galactic quadrants.

Phasers burn away the comet’s surface to reveal an object of some kind, and it’s definitely transmitting information into the sensors and replicators. Data has an intuitive understanding of it all, which has everyone concerned that he’s as compromised as the Enterprise computers. By the same token, this may be the device’s way of communicating, and this could even be a first contact, so they approach things cautiously.

The replicator starts producing many more objects like the ones Troi found in her quarters. Picard is collecting them in his ready room, and he theorizes to Riker that these have cultural significance, and that what they found could be an alien library of some sort.

They manage to escape the current disturbance, but sensors are picking up a minefield of temporal disturbances, and within each one time is moving at a different rate. La Forge and Data can maneuver slowly around them, and they head to the rendezvous coordinates. The Enterprise isn’t there, but La Forge picks up some metal. They navigate toward it, even as the temporal disturbances increase, and they find the Enterprise and a Romulan warbird, both frozen. The Enterprise is being fired on by the warbird, yet there’s some kind of energy beam moving from the Enterprise deflector dish to the warbird’s engineering section.

“OH NO! THE BORG SHIP!”

TO BE CONtINued