Steamy Spike and Twisted Twilight

by SwiperTheFox

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Spike
Length: 2421

Spike and Twilight give in to their lusts for each other, but there's a Twist.

Spike and Twilight give in to their lusts for each other, but there's a Twist.

This is my half-hearted attempt to do a "trollfic" compared to the other authors that I've read. But I seriously hope that you guys enjoy this one. It was fun to write. (Update: Edited slightly to done down the silliness.)

Published 2012-04-07 06:54:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-07 06:54:03 UTC

The Whole Thing

Twilight tapped her hooves against the steering wheel, a smile perking up along the sides of her raggedy face. Ah, finally, something that's decent. She leaned over and flicked up the volume slider. The soothing sounds of 98.7 K-LUV filled their grey Toyota Camry. She loved that song.

"I was travellin' down the road,
feelin' hungry and cold.
I saw a sign sayin':
'Food and drinks for everyone'."

"Oh, dear sweet Celestia, that's not who I think it is! Is it?" cried a bratty voice from just across Twilight's seat. She let out a grumpy sigh, saying nothing back. Spike leaned to the side, paws rubbing up in the little area right atop Twilight's driver's seat and touching her hair. She hated it when he did that. That's why he did it.

"So naturally I thought...
I would take me a look inside.
I saw so much food...
there was water coming from my eyes."

"Is that Leo bucking Sayer?" Spike groused, waving his paws atop Twilight's seat once more. She just narrowly kept form letting off the brake in frustration and getting another fender-bender.

"Yes, yes it is," Twilight muttered. Her eyes narrowed at the stupid Honda Odyssey in front of her, which might as well have been parked on the interstate.

"Can you even get more lameeeeeeeee?" Spike retorted. He finally leaned back, propping his bottom hooves against the bottom back of Twilight's seat. He kicked again and again. She hated it when he did that. Of course, that's why he did it. "Even Nickelback has more street cred than Leo bucking Sayer."

"His first seven hit singles in the UK all reached the Top 10– a feat first registered by his one-time manager, Adam Faith," Twilight replied, turning up her face smugly.

"You read that off of his Wikipedia page, didn't you?" Spike called out, moving his paws over and rubbing them up against the glass.

"I... didn't..." Twilight murmured. Yeah, I did, you little twerp. Now get your bucking feet off of my bucking glass. I don't want to have to scrape any more mud off it again. Rather than shout at him, which she tried her best not to do as per Princess Celestia's instructions, she instead just moved her hoof down without comment and turned the music up.

"Oh, buck it," Spike muttered, flicking his ears around and puckering his cheeks.

He looks like a fish, seriously. "For one thing," Twilight said, trying to fight the urge to just hit the gas and try to push the cars in front of them through the traffic, "That song, that Leo Sayer classic, was the song that Spring Step and I danced too at the Canterlot Prom."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"When he kissed me, my first kiss..." She closed her eyes, and the scene five years ago naturally returned to her mind. She had such a great gown atop her young filly body, a light purple with soft blue stripes that made her seem like a goddess. Spring Step had such ruby-like lips, even for a colt.

"Your first blowjob," Spike whispered.

"You say something?" Twilight snapped, yanking her whole body around and staring at Spike. Her teeth clenched.

The baby dragon seemed to shrink, and he slowly moved himself back into a normal, sitting upright position. "Nothing."

"I didn't think so!" Twilight retorted, and she turned back. She felt mad, seriously mad. She glanced up at her reflection in the rear view mirror. Her eyes traveled down her messed-up mane, strands poking out every which way, to her bloodshot eyes and to the odd contortions in her cheeks. I supposed I should be glad, buck it. At least I look like I can scare some sense into that brat.

The songs changed. What is this? 70s hour again? She bopped her head to the next song. Ah, Slade! I guess this was always a joint-smoking in the little mare's room crew song, but it still swings like a gate. She glanced up at the mirror. Spike shifted in place, paws rubbing against each other. He had a very flat expression on his face. Finally! Something close enough to heavy metal that the brat tolerates, but that doesn't give me a headache the size of Canterlot! Twilight whistled a little in tune.

"Twilight?"

She curled her head over the seat. "What is it, dear?"

"I need to pee?"

Twilight smashed her front hooves against the steering wheel. Oh, this is BUCKING PERFECT! You wanna go right in the middle of the asphalt outside, you little brat? You want me to get a rope and lower you from the embankment onto the road below us? She opened her mouth to berate him, but she stopped a second later. Ugh, I... I just have to take care of this. "You sure?"

"I'm..." Spike wiggled his legs against each other, his ears popping to the side. "Really sure."

"Well, I guess I..."

"Really, really sure, Twilight!" Spike called out. His cheeks seemed to pulse, a weird complexion coming over him.

"Let me, uh," Twilight began. She didn't really know what to do. There's got to be a bottle somewhere in here. Her eyes popped all around the inside of the sedan. She spotted soda caps, soiled napkins, a random brick, McDonalds cheeseburger wrappers, the toy Bill Nye from My Little Human: Progress is Scientific, an evangelistic tract from the Church of Luna, a cracked CD, and a pair of sunglasses with a mysterious green ooze on it. Not even a cup? Nothing? She made a huge frown. And how the buck did a brick get here?

"Twilight, uh, I think I need to go soon, but it's..." Spike's voice seemed to be fading in and out of volume, emotions surging through his head in weird ways.

"What? What!" Twilight murmured, still hunting between her feet for something to pass to Spike.

"I need to pee, but it's bad."

"What's bad, and--" Twilight began, but she just hit her hoof against her head. She rubbed for a second. "Oh, for Pete's sake, just let me see it."

"See it?" Spike moaned.

Twilight unbuckled and slumped her body over. She tried her best to avoid tweaking the stick-shift and still hold a hoof against the brake. She lifted up the brick and wedged it against the brake. Satisfied that they weren't going anywhere, she climbed over her seat and positioned herself besides Spike, hooves going over his belly.

"What are... you... doing?" Spike mumbled. He looked totally overcome.

Twilight glanced over between Spike's legs, where he had his paws closed tightly. She looked up at him, and he took a little breath. He silently nodded, sweat starting to pool atop his head, and he drew his paws away. Twilight started straight ahead. Spike's twin genitals stood up straight, almost pulsing in the air. The small pinkish things, looking hard as diamonds on a dress, curled upwards in about the same direction. Twilight's eyes focused on them intently.

"You need to pee?" she flatly asked.

"It's, uh," Spike groaned, not sure what to do. He seemed to want to bite his lip, and his paws just naturally curled up onto his seat belt. "It's weird. I feel like I need to pee, oftentimes. But then, it's like... uh... I get all hard down there. And I don't need to pee anymore. But sometimes, I get limp, and I pee afterwards. It's weird. But I don't know what to do."

We can't go anywhere. We can't do anything. Blast it, Spike. Twilight frowned. She took a gulp, and she ran her hooves forwards onto Spike's leg. The dragon let out a soft moan.

"Twilight, what are you doing?"

"Ugh, Spike!" Twilight called out, and she wiggled her frizzy mane in front of her. It rubbed up against Spike's side and covered part of her eyes. For some reason, Spike always loved that. He could just play with her mane for hours, especially when she was a in good mood and let him rub it against his body. "What do you think that you're forcing me to do? Gosh!" She scoffed, puffing air onto Spike's body.

"Twilight, I don't..."

"You see a place to stop? A place to pull over to? I don't think so!" Twilight replied. So, I'll just go ahead and have to relieve you of this." She opened her mouth, licking across her lips. "I hope your proud of this, you brat. You'd better make it up to me later."

Spike started to say something in response, but he immediately felt a huge jolt across his body. He looked down, and he could barely believe what he saw. Twilight leaned forward, curling her head over Spike's crotch. Her hooves rubbed up between Spike's legs and another one went behind his neck. He returned the favor by putting his paws through her hair.

His dragonhoods looked so weird compared to pony parts, almost looking like two little pink Popsicle. Twilight took a deep breath, and she leaned straight down. She slurped across both of them. Spike seemed to want to scream, instead just drooling and letting out a strained coo. Twilight moved her lips around, taking in both dragonhoods in a sloppy kiss.

Spike's lost virginity felt like a full dragon flame melting a tiny ice cube, the intensity bringing him right to the limit immediately. He shifted his face down, rubbing every inch of it in Twilight's flowing, messed-up mane. She smelled so rank, as well; she clearly showed the signs of being run ragged. Somehow, that made it all hotter.

Twilight laid kiss after kiss on Spike's dragonhoods. The pure pleasure coursed through every inch of his body, making him shiver without control. Twilight slurped along the sides, suddenly bringing her teeth down. The hard yet delicate rubbing of her teeth against him seemed to fry his insides, lust pouring through his mind. The kisses went on. Twilight moaned, letting out those girly sounds that he loved.

Twilight's hooves ran little circles into Spike's scaly body, the contrast with his fur feeling just heavenly to the both of them. She pressed her mouth deeper, and she took in both dragonhoods right to the base. Her tongue explored every inch of them, soaking wetness enveloping him. He could barely believe it. A thousand pulses of pleasure burst out inside his mind-- like the greatest firework show of his life. He groaned loudly, mouth open in a big 'O'.

Twilight abruptly nudged her head forward. Her tounge twisted atop his colthoods, and her teeth scraped against them. The sucking sensation, coming out of nowhere, brought Spike right over the edge. He screamed, the pure joy almost boiling his brains out. Spike's legs buckled, and his paws dug in deep on Twilight's head.

He felt himself pouring out inside of Twilight's mouth. He leaned his head back, and he tried his best to keep from pouring fire across the roof of the car. He could still see the air getting steamy. His eyes glazed over, feeling like he just would keep cumming forever. Twilight pulled off of him slowly, and he slumped to the left in his seat. His paws seemed to go numb.

The climax and cooling off felt better than anything he had ever dreamed of, better than anything he thought he'd ever feel. He forced himself to look up, and he saw a coating of white film with the occasional clear drop along her lips. She slurped aross her face, and she leaned backwards. She shimmed back into the driver's seat, her determined eyes still on Spike.

"There was a little piss in there, done after you had finished cumming," Twilight announced, looking as dispassionate as if she had read stereo repair instructions. "Don't worry, though. It couldn't be helped. She buckled back in. Spike could barely think, so he just nodded. "You relieved?"

"Y-yeah," Spike muttered. He put himself back in the upright position. "T-thanks."

"No problem," Twilight flatly replied. She magically lifted over the brick from atop the brake, and she put her hoof back down. As if on cue, the traffic far up ahead started to move. "Oh, and one more thing, Spike."

He slid a little bit over, locking eyes with her. "Y-yes, Twilight?"

"I'm so proud," she said, a smile coming up and her cheeks softening. Her eyes looked so happy and warm. "My Spikey-wikey's first orgasm!"

"Or... gan... sim?" he repeated.

Twilight looked back ahead on the road without saying anything, but she couldn't quite move the car. She wiped the windsheild, Spike's hot breath having fogged it up pretty bad. Her mouth hung back open.

She saw a prehistoric bird, looking like one of those things from her palentological textbooks, jumping in betwene cars. It shoved its claws into windows and threw them around like toys. Suddenly, a dozen more birds bounced down from out of nowhere. She couldn't believe her eyes. Neither could Spike.

One bird locked eyes with Twilight. It's beady red, robot-like eyes opened up wide. It immediately shot straight towards them.

"No!" Twilight screamed.

"Save me, Twist! You sexy goddess yo, help! Use your superpowers!" Spike called out of the window.

Suddenly, a pinkish white blob flew through the sky far atop the highway. Ponies cheered below her. They knew that a devastatingly beautiful filly with the heart of a lion and the strength of a... lion (or some equivilent animal) was coming to save them all. As she dashed through the air, faster than any Wonderbolt, her sidekick-- Leo Sayer, standing an astonishing four stories tall with all of his English charm pouring off of his superhuman body from his massive white-boy afro to his handsome white suspenders-- followed close behind. They prepared to kick some pre-historic butt.

However, a loud noise suddenly sounded.

*Bang Bang Bang*

Twist snapped up, awake. She put her hooves to her eyes. She blinked, and she took in the darkness around her. "Wow, that was one weird dream," she whispered to herself. She glanced over at Applebloom, snug in her blanket at the otherside of the clubhouse. Twist pased for a moment, and she walked over.

She nudged Applebloom. The other filly tossed for a moment, but she opened her eyes a little. Twist calmly moved her hooves up onto Appleboom's neck.

"Go back to bed," Applebloom moaned. She turned to the side and fell back asleep. Twist shrugged, and she returned to her own blanket and pillows.

The End