Where We Are

by canonkiller

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Trixie, Random, Adventure, Discord
Length: 6188

A very late Write-Off fic... or the Mane Six need a vacation!

When Twilight and her friends take a break at the coast, things don't go exactly as planned...

My original idea for the February Write-Off, that I've finally gotten around to writing. Uh... enjoy!

Vectors: Credit to assorted reators
Background: Credit to creator
Font: "Where We Are" @ www.dafont.com : credit to creator

Additional Character Tags: OC, Prince Blueblood, Flim and Flam, Gilda, and Iron Will.

--------------------------------
** This story was written when I was 14, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **

Published 2012-04-14 01:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-21 20:29:16 UTC

Celestia's Letter

BRAAAAP!

Twilight looked up from her textbook. "Spike? Spike, what was that?"

"Letter." Spike yawned, throwing the scroll onto Twilight's blankets before burrowing back down into his basket.

"Who would send a letter at this time?" She wondered aloud. "Wait... who else would send me 'dragon express'. Ugh, I'm an idiot this late." She unraveled the magic, shoving her book back into the shelf. "Celestia, why are you still up?"

My dearest student,

I am afriad to inform you that, as my student, you are liable to take days off from writing reports. I did not know of this until your father asked why you seemed so tense when they last saw you - two years ago. I am dearly sorry, and I know you are devoted to your work, but you and your friends are required by law to go on a month's worth of vacation days with myself and Luna starting at noon tomorrow. The chariots will be there at noon and will leave at twelve-thirty. Please be on time.

I hope you're still awake. I know how you stay up late to read on the weekends, and I hope this has reached you safely. Luna and myself do not wish to arrive in Ponyville for our habit of demanding attention. Please wake your friends and have them ready by noon. I hope to see you then!

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Princess Luna

P.S. We do enjoy your presence on our first vacation since our return! - Luna

"Oh. This is new." Twilight read the letter over again, somewhat startled by the fact that the princesses' first names seemed to be 'Princess'. "How in Equestria am I going to wake up Rainbow Dash before noon?"

"Oh, that's easy! Just yell 'the Wonderbolts!' beside her."

"Thanks, Pinkie - Pinkie?!"

"What?" The pony hopped down from the bookshelf, one of Twilight's dying plants held in the pot on her back.

"What are you doing in my house at two in the morning?!"

"It's not a house, it's a public library. And your plants were dying. Look! Botany is not your strong suit."

"But - my door's locked..."

"I came in the window."

"When?!"

"Oh," Pinkie beamed, "when you started drooling on your book. I woke you up because I'm a nice pony."

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but..."

"I'll just pack my bags, then! Where do you think we'll be going? What do you think we'll be doing? Who'll we talk to? Aw, the Cakes will have to take care of Gummy again! Well, last time I didn't tell them and there was no problem, but it took forever to get Gummy out of the sewers. Forever!"

Twilight tuned the pink pony out as she started babbling.

Suddenly, Pinkie turned into a diamond dog and played the ukulele. Oh, Twilight thought with a smile, Pinkie's even strange when I'm dreaming.

Twilight woke up in bed, the letter from last night folded neatly beside her and Spike's basket empty. Her plants were also looking particularly healthy today...

"You're awake!" Pinkie shouted, jumping up on the foot of the bed. "I made you breakfast!" She pulled a plate of toast out from behind her back and offered it to the startled unicorn.

"What did you do with Spike?"

"He's downstairs taking a bath. He wants to dress up all fancy to show you - cough - Rarity - cough - off. He says he's 'too old to be babysat', but I saw him take the rubber ducky in there."

"Thanks for the toast." Twilight mumbled, picking at the soggy bread. "What happened to it?"

"You don't like toast with syrup?"

"Oh, yes dear, Pinkie told me." Rarity called over her shoulder. "She told me she was leaving Rainbow Dash to you so you could try waking her up. Where was that scarf?"

"Uh... okay." Twilight sighed. "We're going someplace warm, you know. You won't need a scarf."

"Hm. Is it acceptable to go furry-dipping if we never wear clothes?"

"Yes."

"Oh, it seems so disrespectful. Sweetie, have you seen my bathing suits?"

"In the dresser near the door, as always!"

"Thank you darling!"

Seeing there was no way Rarity would even listen from now on, Twilight carefully backed out of the room and sighed in relief.

"Pinkie sure is fast. Saved me a lot of work."

"Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash! RAINBOW DASH!" Twilight paused, waiting for a response. "Wow. You really can sleep through anything. Pinkie, I'm taking your word on the Wonderbolts thi-oof!"

"What Wonderbolts?! Did I miss them?"

"Rainbow? You're sitting on my back."

"Oh, sorry Twi. Didn't see you there. Did you see the Wonderbolts? How much did I miss them by?"

"They weren't here, Dash. Pinkie told me to wake you up like that."

"Oh. Why?"

Twilight pulled the letter out from her saddlebags. "I'm in no mood to explain."

"Aw cool! A vacay funded by public tax dollars!" RD shoved the letter back into Twilight's saddlebags before taking off. "I'll go get my stuff and meet you at the library!"

"Why the library?"

Rainbow was gone. Twilight looked at the letter again. A small line of hoofwriting identical to Princess Celestia's had added, Meet at the library and make sure Twilight hasn't gone loopy.

Twilight sighed.

Time to Go

"Spike? Spi-ike! Spike, I'm leaving!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" The little dragon hurried down the stairs. "Can't you bring me too?"

"Oh, Spike, you can go on vacation whenever you want! You're an assistant!"

"Cool! I'll go now!"

"But when I'm gone, you have to stay and take care of the library and Owliscious. And Peewee. What if somepony wants to sign out a book and there's nopony here?"

"Nopony ever signs out books! The only pony we've ever seen reading books was Rainbow Dash, and she was in the hospital!"

"What about newspapers?"

Spike glared at her. "We don't have newspapers in the library."

"Oh, look at my wrist, I have to go!"

"What? You don't have a watch!"

"Bye!" SLAM!

"But... the internet's down..." Spike whispered.

"Is everypony here?"

"Yes, darling, you're the last one. Well, Pinkie went to go get a cupcake from the bakery, but she left her saddlebags."

"Why can I smell something burning?" Rainbow asked, sniffing the air. "And why is Pinkie's bag... smoking?!"

"It's gonna blow!" Applejack shouted, grabbing Rarity and Twilight and shoving them behind Celestia's statue. Rainbow followed, pushing Fluttershy ahead.

There was a muffled boom as dirt, small rocks and shreds of pink fabric came flying past. There were a couple of shocked screams, but nopony seemed to be hurt.

"Oh, did the cake candles hit the party cannon?" Pinkie asked. "I knew I packed something wrong."

"Pinkie! Somepony could have gotten hurt!" Twilight cantered out from around the statue, glaring at the pink pony across the blackened crater.

"Oh, of course not. Oh, here comes the confetti now!" A small curtain of sparkles started drifting from the sky, blanketing the ground around them. "Wow, twenty seconds of air time. That's a new record!"

"Pinkie!"

"What? I think that's pretty impressive!"

"Is Twilight Sparkle in the area?"

Twilight looked up. A trio of chariots circled overhead, six pegasus guards hitched onto the front and one dropping towards the ground. "Uh, yeah! I'm right here!"

Ponies started to stare as the flying pegasus came to a halt and saluted the unicorn. "Miss Twilight Sparkle, is there a safer place to land?"

"Uh..." She looked down at the charred dirt. "You could land here. I think the explosions are done."

"Yep!" Pinkie agreed. "The rest of the confetti is stored away from the candles!"

"You heard her, come on!" The pegasus drifted down, the drivers following cautiously behind. "Miss Twilight and company, we have arrived to take you to Canterlot."

"We can tell." Rainbow snapped from the back. "I thought the Princesses didn't want to attract attention."

The captain glared at her before pointing a hoof towards the chariots. "If each of you could take a partner over to a chariot, we can be off."

"Come on, Fluttershy!" Pinkie yelled. "We have to find the lucky one!"

"The... lucky one?"

"Of course! The one that won't crash!"

"What?!" The other chorused.

"Whoopsie." Pinkie giggled. "That's a secret. Onward, my yellow friend!" She yelled, bouncing away.

"Um... okay." Fluttershy whispered, following.

"Hey, our voices sound the same! How cool is that?!"

"Uh, I guess I'll go with Rarity-" Twilight started.

"No way, Twi!" Applejack butted in. "Rainbow and me are gonna race!"

"I would prefer being with Twilight, darliiIIIIINGS!" Rarity's voice rose to a screech as Rainbow lifted her by the belly and darted over to a chariot.

"Please don't tip it over." Twilight muttered to herself as Applejack started pushing her as well.

"SLOW DOWN!" Rarity screamed.

"No, no! Keep going!"

"Ma'ams, I don't think this is a good idea!" One of the guards shouted. "We're going in way too fast!"

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Better tell some ponies to clear the way!"

"Twilight! Make her stop!"

"I can't, Rarity! Applejack won't slow down either!"

Pinkie Pie leaned over the edge of her chariot. "I told you!"

CRUNCH

The guards slowly stepped up from the combined remnants of a small tree and a couple of carriages. Applejack and Rainbow popped up from the wreckage, followed by the two rather petrified unicorns.

"Am I dead, darling?"

"Nope." Twilight repsonded. "Sadly."

"See?" Pinkie hopped down as her chariot came to a graceful, gentle halt. "I told you we got the lucky one!"

"Yay...?" Fluttershy whispered, thanking the draftponies on her way over. "Are you girls alright?"

"Which one of us touched down first?" Applejack demanded. "I know it was us!"

"No way, we definitely won!"

"You know, keep fighting like that and ponies will start to think you're married." Both ponies suddenly shut up and turned to face Twilight, slowly stepping away from each other.

"Twilight Sparkle! We have been waiting ages to see you again!"

The unicorn tipped forwards as a much heavier pony suddenly hugged her from behind. "Lunapleasegeddoff."

"Oh! We are sorry, we did not see you had a rough landing." The navy alicorn stepped back, grinning. "Who won?"

"Definitely me!" Rainbow shouted, cantering over. "I landed ten seconds before Applejack!"

"No way, partner! You weren't pulling that there chariot, so we landed at the same time!"

"Tying means defeat!"

"It does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

Luna turned towards Twilight, looking slightly concerned. "Are they normally like this?"

"Yes." Twilight moaned.

"Almost always." Rarity added.

"Hm." Luna hummed, trotting backwards to look past the bickering ponies and chariot rubble. "Pinkie Pie? Fluttershy?"

"Oh... um, hello... Princess Luna." Fluttershy stammered, fluttering over Applejack and Rainbow Dash and landing in a bow.

"Hiya Loony!" Pinkie shouted, jumping up from behind Twilight. The unicorn screamed and jumped forward, crashing into Luna's side. The Lunar Princess opened her wings in shock, nearly taking out Rarity from behind.

"Oh, Luna, I'm so sorry!" Twilight hurried, scrambling onto her hooves.

"N-no problem, Twilight Sparkle. You simply startled us, is all." She folded her wings again, ruffling the feathers into place. "We are sorry for nearly hitting you as well, Rarity."

"Aha... no problem, Princess Luna."

"Does not!"

"Girls!" Twilight yelled abruptly, turning around to face them. "Be quiet!"

The Earth Pony and Pegasus sat down immediately, facing Twilight with the biggest set of puppy eyes Twilight had ever seen. Fluttershy let out a small aww.

"I mean it, you two. Now come on, get over here." The unicorn turned back to Luna. "I assume Celestia is waiting for us at the castle?"

"You would be assuming correctly under normal circumstances, but sadly, our sister does not get out much, and wanted to make this a showy presentation."

"Showy?" Twilight choked.

Luna nodded. "She has managed to aquire an old Cloudsdale weather blimp. She'll be on her way any second now."

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMM

"Oh." Luna muttered, tapping an ear with her hoof. "Here she comes now."

A massive shadow cast over the area, the instant darkness sending citizens into hiding. A strong gale followed quickly behind the shadow, two powerful drafts that instantly grounded the hovering Dash.

"OhmygoodnessOHMYGOODNESS!" Fluttershy squealed.

It had to be at least three miles long, and one thick. It was oblong, with two wings on either side shaped in the image of Celestia's own. A massive propeller sat in the middle of the front two, while the smaller two seemed to be moving individual feathers.

Twilight's jaw dropped as she saw her mentor, a tiny white speck in the front window, waving down with a massive grin on her face.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMM

The propellers slowed as the massive aircraft dropped lower, back wings skimming the rooftops as they fanned out. A stray weathervane crashed to the ground as a small door on the side of the blimp. A ramp began to spiral down from the doorway, connecting to the ground in seconds and anchoring the blimp. Twilight gaped at the impossible structure as her friends began to trot past her, Luna shepherding them towards the ramp.

"Come on Twilight!" Rainbow called back, hovering above the platform. "You're gonna get left behind!"

"B-b-b-but..." The unicorn started forwards, but didn't take her eyes from the spiralled structure. "But... that shouldn't wooooork!"

"Get on the plane, darling, you can fret later!" Rarity called, already a few rings up. There was a small flash as Twilight teleported up to her friends.

"How fast are we going?" Twilight wondered aloud as she trotted up the ramp.

"You know our sister best, Twilight Sparkle." Luna sighed. "Would you not put it past her to enchant something to mess with a pony's head?"

Twilight looked at the Princess before sighing. "How many times has she done this?"

Luna pursed her lips in thought. "She turned the Royal Banquet Hall into a Hall of Mirrors once. Terrified the Sprite representative there at the time. Sprites are terrified of reflections, you know. Afraid that eye contact with your mirror could steal your soul and take your place. We're not supposed to talk down about other species, but... oh, never mind. Anyway, our sister has caused more chaos than Discord could have wished for."

"More than Discord?" Twilight muttered.

"Hey, Princess, didn't Discord say something about missing Celestia before? When he was dancing on Twilight's head?" Pinkie bounced ahead, trotting backwards.

Luna blushed. "We find it a good time to remind you that we were not present during that time."

"Where were you?" Rainbow asked.

"Ahaha... our sister thought it in our best interests if we had no interactions with such a dangerous being."

Pinkie stared at Luna, her serious look somehow intensified by her backwards bounce. "You're avoiding the question about Celly and Dissy."

Luna blushed deeper, the dark red spreading to her ears. "Ohlookthere'sthedoor."

The young Princess galloped past Pinkie - almost throwing her over the edge, if not for Twilight's magic - and vanished inside, yelling a quick 'hello' up to her sister before running into a nearby room and slamming the door. The small group watched the moon-shaped nametag bounce off the wood a few times before trotting towards the front of the cabin.

A scruffy-looking Unicorn was leaning back on a ratty couch, a candy cane sticking out of his mouth. Twilight was the first to speak up.

"Um, sir? Excuse me. Who are you?"

"I'm the pilot." He snickered at their stunned expressions. "What, did you really think that the Princess could fly a ship? At least, fly one over a country?"

"Well, kinda..."

He grunted, sucking the rest of the candy into his mouth and swallowing it whole. "Anyway, this has been my ship for twenty years. Wouldn't have taken her out of storage if it weren't for Celestia herself at my door. So, you each get a room to yourself, with in-cabin bathrooms, shower included. I've rigged up a couple of transmitters, so we can get radio. Meals are at seven, noon and six tomorrow, and we'll be landing after dinner. Lights out at ten. May as well find your rooms." Without letting anypony else speak, he swung up onto his feet and jogged away.

The ponies exchanged glances as he vanished through a doorway. "Celestia! Get outta the cabin!"

"I'm having fun!" A higher voice replied. "You're such a spoilsport." The regal figure came trotting in, ducking her head to keep her horn from hitting the frame. "Where's my sister?"

"Oh, hiya Celly! Loony is hiding in her room because she was uncomfortable with my inquiries!" Pinkie gave the tall Alicorn a leg-hug.

"Twilight, what is she talking about?" Celestia asked, gently pushing the clingy pony away.

"Umm... well..." Twilight closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure.

Pinkie sighed, stepping back from the Princess and wrapping a hoof over Twilight's shoulder. "We want to know about Discord."

"Oh, is that all? Well, he ruled Equestria before my sister and I, and had made the enemy of the pony races, which is what truly brought them together during the true founding of Equestria, when-"

Celestia stared at the hoof placed gently over her mouth. Never in her eons of life had anyone ever quieted her. She gulped.

"No, Celly." Pinkie sighed. "We want to know about Discord."

"What do you mean? There's nothing else to know! He was the avatar of danger and chaos! What else could you possibly think?"

Pinkie stayed put in front of the Princess, unaware to her friends backing up. Nopony had ever done such a thing to either Princess.

"Celly..." Pinkie suddenly seemed scarier than Celestia could ever hope to be. The air felt thick with tension betweent he two ponies. "Celly, Celly, Celly..."

"Pinkie Pie... w-what do you mean?"

"I mean-"

WHUMPH

"We shall protect thee, sister!" Celestia shivered, looking down at her sister. The rest of the Elements had their jaws gaping. Luna winced, her horn shimmering brighter as she kept Pinkie pinned to the ground with her front hooves. "Sister, is thee alright?"

"I'm fine, Luna." Celestia whispered. "Luna... what did she mean... about Discord?"

"Is that what this is about?" Luna muttered back, before turning her attention to the other ponies. "Fine! We will tell you... we will tell you everything. Just... just not now."

Pinkie scrambled to her hooves, and without another word, turned and walked down the hallway, vanishing into a room.

Twilight watched her go. "Princess, I'm so sorry about Pinkie."

"There's no need to apologize. But you should go talk to her. It does not bade well on Discord's prison when Elements fight."

"Uh... okay. I'll get right on that."

Twilight trotted over to the couch and sat down, watching her friends vanish into their rooms. Soon enough, she was completely alone.

"What on earth could the Princess be hiding?"

Airline Food

"Pinkie? Hey, Pinkie, you awake?"

"Why? Do most ponies sleep at night?"

Twilight jumped into the closed door as Pinkie bounced up behind her. "Pinkie, why weren't you in your room?"

"I was talking to Mr. Driver Man." Pinkie replied. "I did most of the talking. All he said was 'go away' a lot of times. What language do you think that is?"

"I think he meant 'go away'."

"Oh, I get it now! That makes way more sense. Why are you outside of my room? Were you being a naughty pony?"

"What? No! Pinkie, I have an innocent mind!" Twilight yelled, putting her hooves over her ears, glaring at the party pony. "And I need to talk to you."

"Oh, please don't let this be a story where you all turn gay for me. Like, I know I'm awesome, but I have boundaries." Pinkie bounced past Twilight, shoved the door open, and waited for her friend.

"Story?" Twilight mumbled, walking past the probably-caffeine-fueled pony. "Look, you kind of terrified the Princess, and she wanted me to ask you why."

"Oh. Yeah." Pinkie shut the door with a hoof and jumped up onto her bed. "Well, you know how I like having friends, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well, I like seeing ponies happy. Celly isn't happy when she's thinking about Dissy. I don't think anypony knows other than Loony-"

"Could you call them by their real names?"

"-and Loony's been away for so long she can't really remember. Celly can't be happy when all her sad is trapped." Pinkie sighed, and looked up at Twilight. "Once sad is on the outside, a pony can be happy. Sad on the inside is just... sad."

"So, what should I tell the Princess?"

"Oh, she's a smart pony. She knows I know, and she knows you don't know and she just wanted me to tell you what I knew so you could know it too."

"Oh, um... okay? Look, I need some sleep, so I'll be in my room."

"Did you have to tell me?" Pinkie asked as Twilight closed the door behind her.

"So then I said, 'Oatmeal, are you craz- oh, good morning, Twilight. You look like death!"

"Th'nks." The unicorn pulled up a chair, sat down, and proceeded to sick her face to surface of the table. "Wh't f'r br'kfst?"

Rarity went to answer, but-

"MR. DRIVER MAN! WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST?"

"GET WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND IN THE FRIDGE AND MAKE IT YOURSELF!"

"Pinkie Pie, please stop upsetting the owner." Celestia mumbled around her coffee. "I'm sure you can figure these things out without his help."

"Where'd Princess Luna go?" Applejack wondered - and also looked to be the most awake of the group. "Wasn't she just here?"

"She's the Night Princess, apple-brain." Rainbow Dash drawled. "Didn't it ever cross your mind that she might take a few naps?"

"Well, I never said-"

"Darlings, please! Twilight has a headache. Could you just be dears and quiet down a bit?"

"H'ngry." Twilight muttered.

"I found toaster waffles!" Pinkie shouted from the other side of the room. "Does anypony know what a toaster is?"

"Find something you can make." Fluttershy advised quietly. "I'm sure everyone would like a nice, warm meal."

"Toaster waffles it is, then!"

All the ponies other than Celestia and Twilight facehoofed.

"Didn't you sleep well, my student?"

"Sl'pt?" Twilight jerked her head up from the table angrily, leaving a hole the exact width of her horn in the wood.

"That is mahogany!" Pinkie hissed indignantly, a tower of thin waffles balanced on a plate on her back.

"How'm I supposed to sleep with ten-bazillion pony-power engines thundering outside my window?!"

"The cabin is completely muted, Twilight, spells on top of technology. Celestia explained it earlier," Rarity nodded towards the Princess, "and it seems you are the only one who didn't sleep! Other than Luna and the captain, of course."

"I'm running on pure caffiene, baby! Whoo!"

Rarity manged to keep from glaring back towards the doorway - far too unladylike- although the eye twitch was far from subtle. "Are you feeling stressed or anything?"

"I just...don't really like flying. Prefer to have my hooves on solid ground."

"Oh, Twilight, if you were sick you could have told me!" Celestia replied. "I could have gotten you a private train or-"

"No, no, it's fine. I just... don't like them."

Pinkie seemed to notice something, jerking her face up from her waffles - which she had eaten all by herself - and stared up towards the cockpit. "That is not a challenge!"

"Well, Twilight if there's anything I can do to help, just ask." Celestia draped a wing over her student. "We'll land by nightfall, though, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Do either of you know sleep spells, or something. I need a nap..."

"I don't think I know any, but-"

THUNK

"-Luna does." Celestia looked over her shoulder to glare at the younger Alicorn behind her.

"What?" Luna laughed. "She wanted a nap."

"Oh, no." Pinkie sighed, hopping onto the table and standing above Twilight. "This table has a really low resistance to spearing, apparently. How are we going to get her out?"

"Just leave her." Rainbow suggested. "She won't know."

[/chapter]

Sorry for the midget chapter. Have some late-night Photoshop.

Landing

"Girls, could you all get back to your room and collect your things? I'm sure the captain would enjoy us being off as soon as possible once we land."

"I could get off before then!" Rainbow yelled as she charged down the hallway. "With these babies-"

"Now, now, Rainbow Dash, although I'm sure we could all use a few moments of silence, it would be in everyone's best interests if you stayed away from open engines of any sort."

The elegant unicorn spun at the noise of a stifled giggle. Celestia immediately stood stock-still, staring straight ahead.

"What was so funny about that, Princess?"

"Well, um..." Celestia's cheeks flushed red as her smile grew. "You have n-n-no idea how many pegasus almost g-g-g-got run over when-n-n I was picking you guys up..." She snickered.

"You did what?!"

"Well, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to get the blimp anyway, so-"

"You didn't tell our citizens to get out of the sky?!" Luna protested from further down the hallway.

"It seemed like a better idea before I started driving!"

The ship suddenly lurched, sending Celestia crashing forward and Rainbow into a closed door. Rarity managed to keep her balance, muttering something about her runway lessons finally paying off.

"He had a heart attack!" Pinkie shouted, rushing down the hallway. "I'll fix him!"

"I didn't have a heart attack, you crazy dimwit! I'm fine! We just hit some turbulence, that's all. I'm fine, get out of the cabin! GO!"

Pinkie trotted back down the hallway. "He says he's okay! We just hit some turbowhatsits. I wonder if you can eat them..."

"Luna, didn't you say something about a balance spell?"

She nodded towards Twilight, who had come out of her room with an obvious bruise. "This shouldn't have happened. We're sure it was just a flaw somewhere, no problem, really. We bet that we'll be landed in no time."

"If you say so..." Twilight muttered, lifting a hoof to poke at her swelling forehead.

The pressure changed as the blimp lifted again. "Girls, something's going on." The pilot sounded different, almost... scared. "We're losing cabin pressure, and that turbulence isn't showing up on the detectors. I don't know if I'll be able to land. Do any of you have enough magic to make synthetic wings? I don't have enough parachutes, and if that's real wind, you'd be out of control. I'll take the blimp around and figure out where I can meet you later."

"I've only ever made on set of wings, and I passed out..." Twilight admitted.

Rarity nodded, blushing. "I can barely teleport downstairs."

Luna looked around at the four wingless ponies. "We think we can handle this one, 'Tia."

"If you wish, sister. If you need me, I'm right here."

Luna smiled weakly, closing her eyes. Her horn sparked and the stars in her mane shone brighter. The air started to smell like rain, growing cooler and lighter. It faded almost instantly as the Princess opened her eyes with a wide grin.

Rarity squealed, stroking the same wings she had before. "They're beautiful, Luna!"

Twilight shook out a pair of violet dragon's wings, looking over them with a smile. "They do look great!"

"Ah'm mighty pleased, Princess." Applejack complimented, sporting a pair of pegasus wings that looked stronger than Dash's.

Pinkie, however, seemed unchanged. Until she waved her front hooves around and rose into the air.

Celestia and Luna gaped at the pink pony, while all of her friends shook their heads with a simultaneous sigh.

"What?" Pinkie asked, striking a pose. "You guys can't do this?"

After a complete circle of the turbulent patch - which seemed to cover the entire area below them with a rapidly-forming mist - the previously down-to-earth ponies had gotten the hang of their wings.

"Girls, the second you jump out, focus on staying away from the engines. The propeller in the back probably won't hit you, it's massive and slow. The air force from the front engines will try to pull you up. The second you leave, I'm going to fly up, and try to get out of the way. Chances are, none of you will get torn to shreds. I'll land around here somewhere. Are you ready?"

"Yes." Fluttershy whispered, strangely determined. "Yes, we are."

"Starboard door unlocking." The captain dictated. "Port door unlocking. Doors opening. Cabin door sealing - good luck out there!" He yelled over the engines as his door shut.

Twilight shared the honor with Rarity on being the first to jump, her having studied aerodynamics and Rarity having flown before, neither being particularly amazing at it. After them came Pinkie and Applejack, never flown before. As their safeguards, Rainbow and Fluttershy followed, dropping like stones to catch up to their friends.

Luna and Celestia hovered outside the blimp, each kicking the doors shut as they fell. The back wings tilted as the roar of the engines grew louder, the blimp lifting up and away from the group.

Twilight soared up to meet her teacher, leathery wings holding up quite well. "There he goes." She muttered. "Do either of you have any idea what's going on?"

Celestia shrugged.

Luna rolled her eyes. "We do not know what events may be taking place below. Perhaps this place just has odd weather we did not foresee. I am sure that our stay will be quite enjoyable."

"Odd? Odd?! There's absolutely no wind. Or noise!" Twilight protested, shoving a hoof down angrily.

CLUNK

"Owowowow..." Twilight whimpered, holding her hoof up against her chest.

"Clunk?" Luna repeated, slowly flying down beside Twilight, hooves outstretched. Within moments, she was standing, apping a hoof on the air below her.

"Hey, girls, come here." Celestia called.

There was a resounding thud as Rainbow Dash dashed into the bottom of the pathway. Celestia doubled over laughing.

As the others landed - and Rainbow unhappily climbed over the edge - a shiver went through the entire group. The ponies looked around, instantly noticing the entire party's lack of wings, and horns.

"Ohpleaseno." Twilight muttered, rubbing her forehead.

Celestia was poking her shoulders, muttering something about a good long banishment, while Luna tossed her head angrily. Within mere seconds, Luna's mane fell limp and blue around her neck, and Celestia's doing the same with a bit more pink.

"Oh, he is so dead." Celestia growled. "Come on girls, we have a little score to settle."

Flipping her fuzzy mane in annoyance, she started cantering down the invisible path, the surface shimmering as her hooves touched it. Luna nodded after her. "Stay a bit back when you follow. Sister has a tendency to kick when she's angry."

The Lineup

"Oh, ground! I'll never leave you ever again!" Fluttershy squealed, lying down on her belly and stretching out her hooves.

"It's even foggier down here." Rarity whispered. "He could be anywhere..."

"Or everywhere." Luna added, glancing around. "He is the god of chaos."

"Get your patchwork butt out here!" Celestia roared, stomping a hoof. "You are not going to enjoy my wrath once I get my magic back!"

"Ohoho, who says you'll ever get it back?"

Twilight backed up beside Luna, seeing her friends do the same. The only one outside the ring was Celestia.

"Discord! Show yourself!"

"Am I the only one getting a major deja-vu~? Well, I guess having little Lunacy here is new."

Luna blushed and ducked her head, her mane falling over her face.

"What is it? Not feeling up to the challenge of fighting your old friend?"

A small flash lit of the mist, and the ring scattered as Discord appeared over Luna's back. He lay back on the air, leaning down so she could see his face.

"It certainly has been a long time, though. Anything I should know?"

"N-n-nothing..." Luna stammered, "nothing at all..."

Twilight glanced over at her mentor, willing her to intercept. Instead, the Princess was staring, petrified, at a small, fluffy pony standing in front of her, one eye twitching. Glaring at the puffball - which smiled innocently - Twilight snorted, bracing herself to tackle Discord.

Unfortunately, she was beaten to the punch.

"YOU DON'T SCARE MY FRIENDS!" Pinkie yelled, hitting Discord square in the shoulder and pushing them both down to the ground.

Luna's head shot up as soon as Pinkie yelled, letting her witness the surprising battle about to ensue.

"Normally I don't physically hurt ponies." Discord growled, brushing dust off his sides and leering down at the pink pony. "And I don't like making exceptions to my own rules."

"I've stood up to you before, and I'll stand up to you now! So, go ahead!" Pinkie shouted. "Punch me!"

The draconequus clenched one talon into a fist, pulled it back... and hesitated. For a few tense seconds, he stood there, facing Pinkie, the pony staring him down, unwavering.

Discord turned away, releasing his clenched fist and snapping the puffy pony away from the princess.

"Look, I haven't even touched your precious elements this time. There is no convenient flaw in my plan that includes my puzzle hiding my downfall. Instead, I simply made sure you couldn't get them either. And, as Pinkie Pie here has impressively proven, I do not intend to interfere completely. Here are my rules. No wings, no magic, as I have already shown. Once the test begins, unlike the previous, you will have absolutely no contact with each other.

"And I believe you've seen your team, your pretty Princesses and their precious elements, so you can see mine." Discord waved a claw, spreading a huge swath of fog away. Behind it stood six figures the ponies had never wanted to see again.

Gilda was on the far left, glaring angrily at Rainbow Dash with the same intensity as a cat to a fat mouse. Next to her was Trixie, who was leaning away from the griffon, disgusted. Flim and Flam were standing in the middle, looking smug and slowly edging away from the next in line; Iron Will, towering over the others and possibly Discord. At the far end was Prince Blueblood, standing as far away from the minotaur as possible without being lost in the fog.

As the ponies quickly spotted their rivals, Celestia slowly turned to Discord, who was looking pleased with himself. "What about Luna, myself and Pinkie?"

"Well, up until a few minutes ago, Pinkie seemed far too like myself to ever need a rival. Look at this!" Discord reached out and pulled Pinkie over, holding her up between him and the Princesses. Her eyes grew larger and she let out a little squeak, hanging her hooves on the top of Discord's hands.

Celestia felt her insides drowning in cuteness.

"So, she'll just be milling around someplace." Discord finished, putting the pony down and letting her eyes return to normal. "As for you two, you get to enjoy my marvelous company for the entirety of the challenge! What could be better than that?"

"Endless and eternal torture in Hades." Luna muttered.

Discord cast a semi-interested glare over at her before bowing towards the elements and their counterparts. "Let the games-"

"WAIT!" Pinkie shouted, jumping in the way.

Discord rolled his eyes. "Would you just stop? I'm trying to make a villainous cameo here."

"I'll volunteer. I'll take Fluttershy's place. She's my best friend, and I don't want her to face this."

"Pinkie, it's okay." Fluttershy whispered, trotting up and putting her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "I'll be fine."

"Well... I guess..."

"If I'm gone for a long time, go home and take care of the animals for me, okay?"

Pinkie nodded. "Don't die."

"I'm not killing anyone." Discord interjected. "You guys should know this."

"I won't die, Pinkie. Don't miss me too much!" Fluttershy smiled, hugged her friend, and flew back to her place.

"Are you done? Like, completely? I can start now?" Discord glanced at each pony, nodding as none shifted. "Well, the moment's definitely gone, so... I guess you can just start." He snapped his talon, and the pairs vanished one by one.

Discord leaned back, conjuring up a bunch of beanbags and a huge television screen. "Feel free to join me whenever, this could be entertaining."

"We are not entertained by the misfortunes of our subjects." Luna declared, sitting down where she had been standing. "Right, sister?"

"Speak for yourself!" Celestia laughed, sitting in one of the beanbags. "Discord! Popcorn!"

Discord conjured a bag beside her chair. "Whatever."

"Celestia! You said you hated him!"

"Hate the host, enjoy the game. Come sit."

"We cannot believe we are related to you." Luna sighed, watching Pinkie take the beanbag beside Discord and steal his popcorn. "We cannot believe we have ever talked to any of you."

"Hush, Moony Loony. I can't hear." Discord stated, hovering her over to the beanbag beside her sister. "Rump down and mouth shut."

Luna glared at him for a couple of seconds before burrowing into the beanbag and glaring at the screen.