Moonie shorts [Filly Nightmare Moon]

by 8th-Sin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Nightmare Moon, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 134301

A series of short stories about a filly Nightmare Moon, nicknamed Moonie, and her father figure/guardian Anonymous the human.

Nightmare Moon returns and is hit once again with the Elements of Harmony rendering her a mischievous little filly.
Much to Nightmare Moon’s annoyance, Anon thinks she's cute as all hell and is the only one willing to put up with her antics and evil, so Celestia tasks him with reforming the bundle of misery and mischief.

Cover Image is by EvetsSteve, may he rest in peace.
Chapters 1-21 were converted into prose from my greentext stories with the help of Nav/WhatMustIDo

Published 2014-06-08 04:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-07 01:16:39 UTC

1 Minions or Friends?

“Are yah sure about this?” Applejack asks, her uneasiness clear in her tone.

“They can be quite the handful,” Rarity adds.

“I’ll be fine now go, you’ll miss your train otherwise,” you reply.

“Alright, we’ll just say goodbye to the girls real quick.”

Rarity and Applejack go to say goodbye to their sisters before they have to head off to the Crystal Empire. Apparently, they have some urgent business up there and can’t take the girls with them, so you agreed to look after them while they were gone for the day. You even invited Scootaloo to come hang out with them. Those three are inseparable and mostly take care of themselves, so your main concern is the evil little filly watching from the window with a sinister grin. That look is putting you on edge a little. She gets along with the girls alright, but she’s not fond of letting anyone come around to the house. Yet when you told her they’d be visiting, she didn’t put up a fight. You know her too well to think she’s just being friendly; she has to be up to something.

“Bye Anon.” You look up from your train of thought as Applejack calls out to you.

“Bye. Say hi to Cadence and Shining for me,” you shout back. You wave to them as they leave and the three girls walk up to you.

“Howdy Anon, thanks for lookin’ after us,” Applebloom calls out.

“No problem. Moonie is just inside.”

You show them inside and when you step in, you look around for Moonie. She’s nowhere in sight and it’s eerily quiet.

“Hey Anon, where’s Moon?” Sweetie Belle questions as she wanders around the room.

“In her room, probably—”

“Greetings Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle.” Moonie steps into the room with a cheerful and charming tone, which only further increases your suspicions.

“Hiya Moon, did you wanna play?”

“Of course, I have some stuff in my room we can use.”

You give her a puzzled look as she leads them into her room. She doesn’t even like you going in that room half the time. Something is definitely up. You wait a few minutes before walking up the hallway to her room. As you get closer, you hear chanting and the steady beating of a drum few seconds. You gently lean on the door and peek in through the gap to see Moonie sitting on a kitchen table adorned with tin foil like it’s a throne.

Scootaloo is beating on a drum while wearing the same dark-hooded cloak as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom.

“Oh great Queen of the Night, what is your bidding?” Applebloom chants in a monotone voice.

“Your queen desires—”

You can’t let this continue so you open the door and stand there, cross armed with a stern look.

“Oh, Anon. What’s the matter?”

Moonie gives you a relaxed look, acting like this is all innocent and there's not evil context anywhere but you know better.

"What is all this?” you ask.

“A game,” Sweetie Belle squeaks.

You’ll think about how cute that is after you’ve put a stop to Moonie’s tyranny. Wait.

“A game?”

“Yeah, we were playing cults and templars,” Scootaloo announces.

“What kind of game is that?”

“It’s like cops and robbers, but with magic.”

“And who are the templars?” They all pause in thought, like they have suddenly realised what their game was missing.

“Anon,” Moonie jumps from her throne and looks up to you with big pleading eyes, “Can we go to the park, please?”

They all huddle up with the same look. Pouting lips with a slight quiver, bulging eyes that pierce your heart like a spear and they all say in unison, “Please?”

Before your heart overdoses on the cute, you raise your hands to admit defeat. “Okay, okay, we’ll go.”

The three proudly cheer and rush to the door. When you get to the lounge room, you notice Moonie laying out flat and the girls are nowhere in sight. Time for some teasing.

“I’m happy you’ve made some friends.”

“What? They aren’t my friends, just minions who have submitted to my will.”

“Oh, really?” you look off the distance and scratch your head, “I was thinking about inviting them over again soon, but if they aren’t your friends...”

You look in the corner of your eye to see her flinching, you can tell she’s thinking of how to get you to let them over without admitting anything. After letting her struggle for a few seconds, you walk to the door with a grin.

“I knew it. I’ll invite your friends over again when Rarity and Applejack get back.”

“I-I told you, they are minions and I am their Queen, no more.”

You say nothing more as you think about how proud you are. Moonie has friends, which is something you never thought to see.

---Some random amount of time later---

It's been quite draining looking after the CMC and you decide to finish off the day by taking them to the park with Moonie. They're playing some game that you aren't even paying attention to. You drift off for a few moments and are woken by Applejack and Rarity.

“Howdy Anon, the girls been behaving alright?" Applejack shouts from halfway across the park as she and Rarity.

“Yeah, no problems."

“Girls, it's time to go. Thank you again dear for looking after them today, I apologise if they've been a hoof full," Rarity exclaims with a hesitant expression.

You can tell the two are really worried, though you're not sure why though. The only one who was close to being a handful was Moonie, considering she was a few steps away from using Applebloom as the vessel for some god of evil.

“It's no problem, really. They get along with Moonie, so I'm happy to."

You wave as they head home before turning to Moonie, who is now laying down on the grass, spread out from exhaustion. You give a laugh before standing up. “Come on, let's go."

“Your Queen needs a moment’s rest."

“Moonie, we've been here all day, it's time to go home." She just looks up at you in silence with pleading eyes. You roll your eyes and lift her up into your arms. “Anon the Human, at your service, your majesty."

She giggles and shifts into a more comfortable position in your arms. “Onward."

It's a long walk home and Moonie takes a nap in your arms along the way. You look down at her sleeping face; she remains still apart from the rise and fall of her chest and her hair that never stops moving cascades over her face. She shouldn't be this cute.

3 It's quiet, too quiet.

You've realised that it's been quiet for a while. That's too suspicious. You get up and go check on Moonie to see her drawing with crayons peacefully. You watch her for a moment before she notices you.

"How DARE you spy on the Princess of the Night? Off with your head!"

"Moonie, what did I tell you about threats? Anyway, what're you drawing?"

"Stay back. These are my secretest plans. Not for your eyes."

You roll your eyes and go find something else to do.

You're making dinner when you feel a tug on your pants leg. Looking down, you notice Moonie holding a card out to you so you take it and read it.

'To my number one servant.'

There is even a childish drawing of you two atop a castle.

"I just thought... you deserved a thank you... Don't forget your place, servant!"

You pick her up in a hug that she slowly returns.

4 In comes Sir Bearington

You walk up to the school to pick up Nightmare Moon. She's there waiting for you. After a quick check with Cheerilee, you find she's done nothing wrong today for once but Moonie is grumpy about something. Along the way home, you decide to ask.

"So, what's wrong?"

"The other kids won't be my evil minions."

"And?"

"You fool! How can I be the Queen of the Night without any evil minions to do my bidding?"

"I've got an idea."

You say nothing more despite Moonie's constant asking. When you get home, you give her a book to read and head into your room. Under the bed, you find the stuffed bear you were planning to give to Moonie for her birthday or Christmas. Before you take it to her, you get an idea to stitch an evil looking grin onto its mouth, giving it wide, sharp teeth. You stitch eyebrows to make it look a little angrier. Hopefully it's enough. You walk out with the bear hidden behind your back. Moonie immediately notices.

"Close your eyes." She pauses before doing as you ask then you sit the bear in front of her. "Now, open."

She opens her eyes and the second she notices the bear, she goes wide-eyed in joy before wrapping it up into a big hug.

"Do you like it? You finally have your own evil minion."

She gives an eager nod before looking again at the bear. "I shall call you Sir Bearington and you will be my Lord of Mayhem. Nothing shall stop us."

5 Moonie Gear Solid

Today, you're just sitting at home relaxing; you've been looking forward to a chance to just lay down and do nothing.

*shuffle-shuffle*

"What is that?" you think to yourself.

*shhhhhhuffle*

You're feeling too lazy to get up, so you just continue relaxing as you are.

*shuffle-giggle-shuffle*

Now you can see the culprit behind the mysterious noise. Moonie has found a box and is using it to hide from you. By the looks of it, she hasn't noticed her horn and tail are poking out the box. Might as well play along. The giggling box of doom inches closer.

"I wonder what Moonie is up to? She's been awfully quiet," you say to yourself aloud in an aloof manner.

She lets out a muffled giggle. Yeah, she has no idea you know she's in the box. Suddenly the Princess of the Night springs out of the box and onto your chest.

"AH-HA! I've caught you! You must now submit to me, your new Queen. Or die."

You can't say anything negative to that proud grin.

"I submit, my Queen. What is thy bidding?"

"CUDDLES!"

6 Nightmare Night

Tonight is Nightmare Night and you've dressed up as a ninja. Moonie refused to let you help out with her costume, but you can already guess what she'll go as.

"Anon, are you ready?"

"Yes Moonie, just show me your costume already."

She opens the door to her room to reveal that her costume is indeed, drum roll please, Nightmare Moon. Except the armour is made out of cardboard. Mr Bearington is also in tow; she has him sitting on her back and tied down so he won’t fall. Ever since you gave her that bear, they've been inseparable. She won't even leave it behind for school. It took a bit, but you convinced her not to by telling her someone must guard her evil lair. You give a grin. You knew she wouldn't be able to resist wearing something akin to her old armour, but she looks too adorable.

"I love it, where'd you get the idea?"

"I am the Night and it is important every pony know who they are living in fear of."

"Alright your majesty, let's go."

You've decided to take her around Ponyville so she can get some candy. You're hoping she'll behave, but, like usual, she'll—She's already in trouble, that's an academy record. She's made some filly in a princess costume cry and you let out a sigh before taking on a stern voice.

"Miss Moon, what in Tartarus are you doing?"

"She wouldn't offer me candy so I took it."

"Why does she need to offer YOU candy?"

"I am the Princess of the Night; this whole night is to celebrate ME! Any pony who does not make an offering of candy to me, gets eaten. Have you not heard the stories?"

She turns back to the princess filly and flashes her teeth. The poor thing runs off in terror, leaving behind her candy.

"So much candy." She scoops the candy into her own bag before looking to you. "Come servant, we must pillage more candy."

You lift her up before she has a chance to go anywhere.

"Put me down this instant. Don’t you know who I am?"

"You're in big trouble if you don't give that candy back."

"I am infinitely scarier than any punishment you can think of."

"Really? Well then, if you don't behave, Mr. Bearington will take your punishment for you then."

She goes wide-eyed in fear as she only now realises the consequences. The moment you place her down she rushes off to the princess filly and you watch as she returns her candy. The rest of the night is filled with the two of you playing games, collecting candy, and you telling her off when she scares someone into getting their candy.

It's getting close to her bedtime but you decide to take her to the Statue of Nightmare Moon. You're not sure why, it just seemed like a nice idea. She sits there and stares at the statue of her former self. You're not sure what she is thinking so you don't know if to feel worried or sorry for her.

"Are you not going to make an offering to your Queen?” She breaks her gaze away from the statue and turns to you.

"Why would I need to?"

"If you don't, then I may have to gobble you whole."

"I'll be fine, you can't eat me."

"I am darkness incarnate; it would be a simple task."

"Then who'll read you a bedtime story?"

She glows red in embarrassment. "I-I do not need those stories."

"I guess you don't want one tonight then." She goes into a panic, unsure if she can admit liking bedtime stories. "Tell you what, you promise not to eat me and I'll read you two stories tonight."

"This offer pleases your queen." She gives an excited grin before picking up as much of the candy in front of the statue as she can carry.

You don't say anything because technically, that candy is hers.

7 Bath Time

"Your highness, we are outnumbered," Sir Bearington calls out from cover.

"Good, I wouldn't want it to be too easy," you reply as you dive out from Pillow Fort of Doom, Mark II, slaying enemies left and right.

Small green toy soldiers fly left and right and you tear through their army. A few of them land hits but their power is insignificant when compared to Nightmare Moon, queen of the night.

"Your righteous onslaught stop here," screams the doll playing the role of Princess Celestia, "Release the dragon!"

You hear a loud roar from behind and you immediately spin around to see a dragon ready to tear you limb from limb. You've fought scarier. You are scarier. It takes its stance and so do you, charging your horn before charging into battle.

"Moonie," Anonymous calls out, grabbing your attention from your trip into imagination land.

"Yes servant?"

"Bath time."

Your heart fills with dread as you sense you impending doom.

"Sir Bearington, there's no time for any more motivational speeches, to your battle station!"

"Yes mistress," he replies with a salute.

You scrounge through your toy for some rope, when you find it you rush over to lay it in the doorway and hide behind the door. Now, you wait. After a few minutes Anon calls your name again as he walks up the hall to your room.

"Closer," you whisper to yourself as the thump of his footsteps now mirror your quickened heart beat.

You take a guess at how close he is and when you think he's in position you pull on the rope with your magic.

There's a brief pause before you hear Anon take a tumble.

"Dammit Moonie, we are not playing these games again!"

"NEVER!" You squeal as you grab Sir Bearington with your magic and rush out the door.

You make your way to the lounge room as fast as your little legs can scurry.

A quick dive in between in couch cushions and both you and Sir Bearington are perfectly hidden.

"Your majesty, he's coming-"

"Shh, listen."

Just as you predicted, Anonymous is already in the room searching for you. You knew your trap wouldn't keep him pinned for long.

"Moonie, I'm tired from work and not in the mood."

Anon's hand reaches in, narrowly missing your nose and latches onto Sir Bearington. Your eyes widen in shock as you realise you've been caught.

"Fear not my Queen, I won't tell him a thing!"

You give him a sorrowed salute as he takes him away, sealing his fate.

"Bearington? Moonie needs to stop leaving you lying around."

"I do no such thing," you angrily whisper to yourself.

"Moonie," Anon says aloud, "I have the bear. I'll be waiting in the bathroom. Either you take a bath, or he does."

Extortion.

A pang of guilt washes over you as you realise Anon is willing to torture Sir Bearington in your stead.

As Queen of the Night, you must not allow your minions to take punishment in your name.

But the threat of the water torture known as a bath made you uneasy about your new-found bravado.

"I shall never give in," you shout but making sure to throw your voice so he can't find you.

You grin at your own brilliance. Unknown to you, you didn't throw your voice. The reason you probably didn't know is because you can't. Instead you gave away your position and Anon is giving the couch a deadpan stare. He then walks away, playing along. When you're well and truly sure he has left, you creep out of couch and begin pacing. At first, you hesitate, tempted to leave Sir Bearington to his fate. It was as if an angel and devil were debating from either shoulder and that little angel won, sadly. It wouldn't be right or fair to leave him, especially considering how Sir Bearington always has your back. You take a brief moment to form a plan before saying aloud.

"Very well, commence Operation Beartrot."

Without wasting a second, you race through the house and toward the bathroom.

You slide to the doorway, glaring at Anon.

"Release. The. Bear."

"About time, get in the bath."

He turns around and leans over to feel the water."How foolish," you cackle to yourself.

You go into a mad dash before leaping through the air, rocketing at full speed towards the giant target you've mentally imagined on Anon's butt."Shiver me timbers, I've hit booty," you shout as you make impact, causing both you and Anon to land into the bathtub.

You take one look at Anon's unimpressed face and go into a fit of roaring laughter, which is cut short as Anon dumps a bucket of water over your head.

Now it's his turn to laugh.

"Much better."

"Where is-"

"Sir Bearington is over by the hamper. Unharmed.""Mission success!"

"Heh, well your new mission is to have a bath."

As you let out a groan, Anon dumps another bucket of water on you.

"Fine," you cough and splutter.

---30 minutes later---

"Moonie," you shout as you walk into the bathroom for the fifth time, "It's time to get out."

A small head pops up and stares at you.

"No."

10 Dinner Time Antics

"Anonymous, I'm hungry," cries the filly of terror at your side while you read the paper.

"Hi hungry, I'm Anon."

You drop the paper as a sense of dread washes over you. You've made a dad joke.

"Oh god. I'm turning!"

You drift out of reality, for how long? You're not sure. But long enough for Moonie to climb up onto the counter and start digging a hoof into the cookie jar. You lift her up and put the lid back on the jar.

"HEY! I was about to get a cookie."

"I can tell. You're not having cookies, I'll be making dinner soon so you're not filling up on junk."

"Can't I have just one?"

"No, now go play until tea is ready."

After you leave her in the lounge room, she begins to play with Sir Bearington but you know what she's like. She's scheming something. Just as you predicted, she's creeping low into the kitchen. You pretend you're none the wiser as you cut up some salad until you hear her lift the cookie jar.

As you spin around, you frighten her and she lets it slip out of her magic grip. Luckily, you're able to save it in time and Moonie has made a mad dash out of the room before you have a chance to tell her off. You just get back to making dinner and wait until attempt three. It takes her quite a while before she tries again. You've already finished serving the food when she comes sliding into the room inside a box with leaves and sticks taped too.

"If this is the best you've got then I don't see how so many ponies were terrified of you," you state as you lift the box up to reveal Sir Bearington.

You spin around to the cookie jar to see Moonie grinning at you.

"If that's how easy it is to fool you, then I can see why nopony was ever afraid of you," she retorts as she shoves and hoof into the jar.

You just let her go, grinning as she realises there are no cookies in the jar.

"What have you done with them you fiend?"

"I hid them because dinner is ready, you can have a couple when you've finished eating everything."

She gives a defeated pout as she walks over to her chair at the table, still scanning the room, most likely to guess where you'd hide the cookies.

"If you don't eat all your food, I'll eat all the cookies myself."

She immediately perks up and digs in.

You're washing the dishes from tea while Moonie is laughing up a storm. After a while you hear a loud thud followed by yelling. You rush into the room to see Moonie on the floor reaching up towards Sir Bearington who is still on the chair.

"Go on without me, Sir Bearington, it's too late for me!"

She writhes and wriggles around while making sounds of pain and death. You just stare at her until she notices you and gives you a sheepish smile.

"How can your Queen be of assistance?"

"What are you doing?"

"Pretending the floor is lava. I fell and now a slow, agonising death is my reward for failure."

You shake your head with a smile and head back to the kitchen.

"Alright, round two," she cries out before immediately falling again.

You can't help but laugh as you return to the dishes.

12 Playtime at the Park

You're walking through the park, trying to find Moonie. You told her to come home for lunch and as usual, she decided to not do as she was told. Then you come cross a sign, "Follow the signs, win a prize."

Intrigued, you follow the arrow on it until you reach another sign hidden in a bush.

"Well done, but can you hear the next sign calling?"

You're a bit puzzled at first, all you can hear is all the playful laughter of the nearby fillies then the chirping of baby birds catch your attention. Up in a nearby tree you hear them, there's a nest and as you look around you find the next sign hidden behind the tree.

"Almost there, don't give up because for this next challenge, you'll need a little luck."

This one has you stumped. There's no clue just a cryptic message that doesn't even hint at anything. As you look around the park, you don't notice anything the sign might have mentioned. There's fillies and colt playing, a duck pond, plenty of plant life and a playground.

Nothing.

Then you get an idea, to try looking beyond the park to the shops in the distance and sure enough, you see what the sign hinted at, Roseluck's florist shop. When you get closer you see the sign and it reads, "Nicely done Professor."

"Professor? What?"

Confused and annoyed at the stupid clue, you spin around to get back too looking for Moonie but then you see an Oak tree with a sign.

It has an arrow pointing straight down to a little chest. Now the game has you interested again but it goes straight back to being confusing as all that's inside is a towel. It's damp too, like it's been used.

"Wow, this game s-"

Suddenly, a water balloon is dropped on you, soaking you completely before being followed by a large, evil cackle. One you'd recognise anywhere.

"That's it. You started it, now I'm finishing it."

"I'm so scared," she jeers at you.

13 Sleeping in spells DOOM!

It's early in the morning. That point of early where there's a chill in the air still and you question why you're up instead of laying in your warm bed still. As you load your water gun with ice and water, you grin to yourself. Once your water gun is full , you walk into Moonie's room.

"Dah-da-dedededededededee-dee!"

"Anonymous, your Queen demands you stop making that infernal racket. I'm try-"

You interrupt her with a barrage of ice cold water. Moonie squeals and tries to hide under the covers but it's useless. The water seeps through.

"AH! Too cold!"

As she squirms to get out of bed, she trips over the blanket and falls out. You dash over to the other side to check on her.

"Moonie, you alright?"

The moment she opens her mouth to speak, you start spraying her again.

"AH! Stop it! I HATE YOU!"

"Love you too now get up, I made pancakes."

14 Under the stars

You and Moonie are sitting outside under the stars because you thought it'd be nice to eat outside for once. That, and Moonie always loves being out at night.

"Anon, do you enjoy the night?"

"Yeah, quite a lot. It's peaceful, beautiful and back home I was awake at night more than I was during the day. Why do you ask?"

"I've always thought that ponies spend too much time on such meaningless things and when I look up at the night sky, I feel tiny but I feel like there's more important things out there. The universe is ever expanding, infinite almost and we're here, stuck on our tiny rock worrying about how to have our manes or what we want to do for a living."

"Yeah..."

You're a little taken aback by this side of Moonie. As you sit beside her, she stares up towards the moon, lost completely by the soft white glow and its surrounding stars that twinkle gently as they dot the black canvas of the sky.

"Perhaps, if ponies took time to watch the night sky once in a while, if they'd just look up then they'd realise there's more important things to do."

"Like play dress up with their teddy bears?"

"Shu-Nevermind!"

15 Home-made meals

---Moonie's PoV---

"Mistress, are you sure this is healthy?" asks Sir Bearington.

"Of course not, that's what makes it so delicious! It's a simple and scientific fact."

You bring the bowl over and begin pouring the ingredients before digging in and it is good! Anon then walks into the room looking like he was shoved into the washing machine and put on super spin for the past hour. He walks past you, dragging his feet but stops dead in his tracks when he sees your wonderful concoction.

"What's in that?"

"Chocolate pudding, fruit loops, mini-marshmallows, banana milk and strawberry yoghurt," you reply with a proud grin.

"Where did you get banana milk?"

"Pinkie. I tried coca-cola at first but it made my nose feel funny plus it didn't go well with the pudding."

"You're disgusting!"

18 Moonie the cook

"Moonie, you can help me with desert tonight."

She lets out a loud, irritated groan.

"But I don't want to."

"Too bad, it won't kill you."

"It might. Besides, I have never cooked before."

"All the more reason to learn. Now get in here or has the Mistress of the night finally found something she can't do?"

And typical Moonie, takes the bait. She rushes into the kitchen, holding her head high with a holier than thou expression.

"You will regret those words, as the Queen of the eternal there is nothing I can't do. I could cook this entire cake myself."

You know you probably shouldn't, but you decide to take her up on her offer.

"Alright, you can do it alone. Did you want the recipe?"

"You dare insult me further?"

You shrug before sitting back on the kitchen table, you're not going to leave her alone. She uses her magic to grab all the utensils and ingredients before setting to work. As you scan over the ingredients, you realise you never told her what cake she's supposed to be making.

"You do know you're supposed to be cooking a-"

"I'm making my own recipe."

You're begging to feel uneasy about doing this, but you'll stick to your guts. Again, you take a seat only to get back up when you see her grabbing plum jam and dumping it in.

"Uh, how much Jam is this cake supposed to have?"

"Ten," she replies with a nonchalant attitude.

"Ten? Ten jam... Right."

You take a deep breathe and sit back, there's no need to worry. You hope. Then Moonie adds the things a cake should have; milk, eggs, butter, barbecue and tomato sauce.

"W-were they sauces that you just added?"

"Yeah, the recipe needs so many sauces."

"R-Right."

As Moonie continues to cook, the mess begins to grow.

"Moonie, is that chocolate?"

"Yeah, about four and a half inches of the stuff."

This has gotten out of hand. And you're not quite sure why you haven't stepped in to stop her either. Especially after when she added the Vegemite and cereal. She then pours the bowls contents into a blender and lets it grind it all up into a paste-like batter before pouring it into the tray. She then holds the tray up to you.

"What are you giving it to me for?"

"You're supposed to let an adult handle the oven. You're not my first choice but you're the only one here.

This is probably the first and only sensible thing she's done this whole time. You place the tray into the oven and then set it to cook. After it's done, you pull the tray out and to your surprise it looks good. The thing is wobbling from side to side but it looks puffy and spongy, just like how a cake should look.

You then place it on the table and cut both you and Moonie a slice. Then when you sit down, you take another look. Aside from the movement, it looks perfectly normal which scares you more than if came out looking like vomit. Moonie sits opposite to you with a big, proud grin. You can't tell if she's secretly cackling behind that grin or not. Actually, you think she might be genuinely proud of this which is going to make this all the harder.

You take a bite of it and you're instantly hit with the plum jam along with the tomato and barbecue sauce. Then the taste of the cereal and Vegemite are next, followed by the chocolate. The after taste reminds you of doritos, something you're not sure you even had in the house.

"How is it?" She beams as she asks.

"Good," you reply, trying your best to lie.

It takes all your willpower not to break, especially after she forces a second slice on you. Then you notice that she hasn't had a bite of hers.

"Not hungry?"

"No, why would I eat that garbage? I'll be on the toilet for a week."

Then, your gut lets out a low, garbled rumble signalling as a warning of the week to come.

19 Moonie, the master of misdirection

"Ka-doo-doosh-doosh-doosh-doo!"

You can hear Moonie scurring up and down the house as she makes shooting sound effects and so you can't help but laugh a little while you do the dishes.

Since she was turned into a filly, she lost a lot of power and could barely levitate things let alone do anything threatening. As she grows, she regains her power. She's fully capable of levitation and weaponising her bolts of magic. It feels about as painful as a slap but she'll only keep getting stronger. Right now she's managed to regain enough magic to use illusions.

"Hey, Anon!"

You turn to her as she fires a bolt of magic at your face. Instinct kicks in and you raise your arms to shield yourself. You're not sure when, but you spilt some water onto the floor and as a result of your flailing, you slip on the puddle. Because the bolt she fired was just an illusion, your ass is the only thing that receives any injury. You give your ass a gentle rub. This is gonna bruise. Moonie then darts out of the room while cackling at the top of her lungs.

20 Nightwing Moon

Moonie lets out a load groan before tossing the book she was reading behind her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just sick of all these lame superheroes winning all the time. When does Dr Stallion Von Doom get his moment of triumph?"

She groans again before rolling over onto her back.

"Well, good is always meant to win in the end."

"Yeah but the villain's victory is always short-lived because he has to brag about his plans or leave the hero in a situation where he can get out easily."

Moonie uses her magic to lift Sir Bearington above her and make him dance. Her boredom is written as clear as day on her face.

"Wait, so they don't even do things like killing off a hero or villain?"

"Nope. Boring right? I need violence," she comments while shaking her forehooves in the air in frustration.

Normally you'd be concerned about the way she said that but given the circumstances, you can understand.

"How about I tell you a story?"

"More Lovecraft?" She perks up as she asks.

"No, something else," you reply.

You then list off a few heroes from DC and Marvel whose story you know pretty well like: Batman, Nightwing, Thor, Guardians of the Galaxy, Green Lantern, Wolverine, Spider-man and a few more before asking her to pick one. And of course, the Mistress of the night goes for Nightwing.

Then you begin with a little back story about how he was formerly called Robin as a kid while training under Batman then you get into his own story. You do your best to be as descriptive as possible, even drawing what people look like to show her. A few times you'll add in your own details because you've either forgotten what it actually was or thought it was stupid, like when they gave him a gun. Moonie is enthralled the whole time. Especially when someone is killed off or has the crapped kicked out of them and winds up a cripple. You take a glance out the window to see it's gotten way past Moonie's bedtime.

"Woah, bedtime."

"Aww, but Batman and Nightwing were about to fight the Red Hood," she protests.

"I'll tell you the rest later. Now bed."

She gives a loud, annoyed groan before marching off to the bathroom. You get the idea that you should write the story down, it's kind of plagiarising but you're in a different world with not a lot for you to do when Moonie isn't around. Once Moonie has finished her nightly routine, she climbs into bed and you tuck her in. The two of you say goodnight and you head to bed yourself. Sleep comes naturally but you don't sleep long thanks to something jumping up onto your bed.

"Moonie?"

"Nay, it is I, Nightwing and I've come to end your tyranny!"

"What are you tal-"

You're interrupted by Moonie drop kicking you in the gut. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.

21 Parent Teacher Interviews

Opening the door to the little menace of the night's room, you're greeted by a great mess of toys, clothes, sheets and other miscellaneous items. You roll your eyes and begin to dig through the various mounds.

"Moonie, we're leaving."

You notice in the corner of your eyes, a face peek out from under the pile of pillows before retreating back to safety.

"Dammit Moonie, where are you?" You ask, feigning ignorance while you walk over to the pillow pile.

Then, you suddenly reach into it and feel around until you feel some fur. You grab hold and lift up your prize to your eye level. It's Sir Bearington. You're not so stupid as to let her catch you unaware through this. Moonie leaps out to make a break for the door but you've already had a hand ready to catch her. You latch onto the scruff on the back of her neck.

"Let me go," she demands.

"Come on," you reply as you carry her outside.

You place her on the ground outside before you lock the door.

"Anon, we don't have to do this," she says, trying her best not to sound desperate in her plea.

You don't answer her, you just begin making your way to the school with a stoic face. You're enjoying this. After a few steps, you turn around to see Moonie isn't following.

"You're coming whether you like it or not."

"You dare order me? As your queen-"

"We had a deal, remember? If Cheerilee says you've been good then we'll eat anything you want for dinner this weekend but if she says otherwise, you're getting double chores for the month."

"You don't need me to talk to her," she replies, still trying to wriggle her way out of this.

"Deal is off then," you remark as you start walking to the school once more.

You can hear Moonie being indecisive about her decision before scurrying after you. The walk is silent, she doesn't say a word until you arrive at the school and are about to knock.

"Do you think we can lessen the punishment... Just a little. To like, two days."

"Heh, that was a terrible try," you comment as you knock.

The door swings open and there stands a bright and bubbly Miss Cheerilee.

"Ah, Anon and Moonie, please come right in," she says in a chirpy tone.

She leads you over to her desk and points to the two chairs in front of it. The three of you take your respective seats before Cheerilee clears her throat to speak.

"Right, welcome to the Parent and Teacher meeting. First off, is there anything you'd like to know?"

"Just curious on how Moonie is doing and if she's behaving."

"Oh, Moonie is very well behaved, in fact since she started attending, the class' behaviour has gone up."

You pause. This is something you need a moment to process.

"She's probably scaring them half to death if they annoy her," you mutter under your breath.

"Her grades are a bit above average and she loves art," Cheerilee beams as she browses one of her filing cabinets, "see?"

She place three pieces of paper all depicting Moonie in and Sir Bearington in battle. All three are rather graphic but quite well done. You're not sure how to feel about one in particular; there's two asses beside a golden throne that has Moonie sitting in it while she adorns a royal crown. One ass is white and the other is a dark blue, both are clearly the princesses. You'd recognise the royal booties anywhere.

"Yes... She clearly has a lot of... passion for her work."

"Mhm, aside from the occasional slip up, Moonie is a wonderful student," she states as she gives you a genuine and warming smile.
You feel a little bad about it, but you can't help feel doubt in Cheerilee. Sure, Moonie is as bad as she once was but you've never heard someone speak about Moonie like an angel, she must be either oblivious or blind.

"What kind of slip ups?"

"Nothing major, just things like: there was the time she set Diamond Tiara's tail on fire-"

"She deserved it, she-"

"Don't interrupt," you interject. Moonie then sits down with a pout and her forehooves crossed.

"She once tried to teach the foreign exchange student from Cervidas how to speak R'lyehian."

For that one you need to try holding the need to crack a smile. You're responsible for that considering you read her H.P. Lovecraft as bedtime stories on a regular basis.

"And then there was last week where she tried sacrificing Featherweight to, uh, I think it was something called Gliken?"

You give Moonie a tap on the back of the head and a scowl.

"He made me drop my sandwich when I was hungry," she says like it's a legitimate reason and she's innocent.

"What have I told you about sacrificing people? Plus Lord Glycon isn't going make you sandwiches."

"He might if he had a little more meat offer-"

You interrupt her by giving her a smack on the nose with two fingers. She scrunches up her face and stares at her nose, confused about what just happened.

"Aside from those minor incidents, Moonie is a model student."

Moonie stand up on her hind legs and throws her forehooves into the air as she cheers.

"YES! Cheeto ice cream all day erry day."

"You disgust me," you mutter in response.

"Silence you welp, a deal is a deal."

You give a sigh of defeat, she's technically right after all. Cheerilee just sits there, beaming a happy smile at the two of you. You get the impression that she lets Moonie off the hook with everything but you're not going to argue because you'll look like a sore loser and never hear the end of it. You stand up, say good bye to Cheerilee before leaving.

"Okay so this weekend we will have Cheetos ice cream for dinner both nights, oreos in a bowl of banana and chocolate milk for breakfast and lastly, for lunch, hundreds and thousands mixed with apples in a pie."

Your stomach churns a little at the thought of this weekend's meal plan.

22 Snow Way Out

"Hey Pinkie, Mr and Mrs Cake. We're here," you call out as you enter Sugarcube Corner.

You take delight in finally arriving as you can already feel yourself getting warm once again. You’ve never been more envious of the ponies before; you’d kill for one of those winter coats considering how unaffected by the cold they all seem. They only need to wear a few extra articles of clothing, like a scarf, if they need more warmth.

The pink bundle of joy and energy springs up onto counter and beams at you.

"I’m so glad you two are here! The Cakes left early this morning so it'll be just you, Moonie, and myself. Oh, and Sir Bearington," she states with a warming grin.

"Anon, can I take this stupid get up off now? We're inside where it's warm."

Moonie glares up at you which causes you to crack a smile, much to Moonie's displeasure. She's wearing a blue and white striped scarf, beanie, and socks with black shoes that you made her wear after she tried to use the cold as an excuse to stay home. Actually, she was fine with it all until you made a comment about her looking cute, then she wouldn't stop raving on about how she is the personification of the night, darkness, and the oncoming storm also that she is not to be referred to as cute.

"Aww, but Moonie," Pinkie squeals while scooping her up into a hug. "You're so adorable like that."

The second Pinkie latches onto Moonie, the filly begins the struggle to free herself of Pinkie's vice grip like her life depended on it. Moonie is close to breaking free so Pinkie releases her, allowing her to use her magic to launch all the clothing off her.

"Don't. Do. That."

Pinkie gives a soft cackle. "Oh yeah, Twilight will be around to help out later once she and Dashie finish some weather experiment," she adds before strutting into the kitchen.

"I may end up hurting her by the time the day is done. No pony lays a hoof on the queen like that."

"You know, back on my world, there was a word for people like you."

"What?"

"Tsundere."

"What does that mean?"

Before you have chance to answer, Pinkie calls out. You've got a long day of work ahead of you so you head in to set to work.

The Cakes have decided to go on a trip to visit relatives to introduce the twins and all that jazz, so they left you and Pinkie in charge. Despite her constant protests, you've brought Moonie along because a day of work would be good for her. Plus, Pinkie would chew your ear off if you were the only one to talk to aside from customers. And so, the three of you set to work.

Thanks to Pinkie, all the prep work has been taken care of before your arrival, so you give Moonie the task of making icing and then making whipped cream while you make the all dough and Pinkie runs to the market for a few last minute things.

After roughly an hour of work, you decide to take a short break and to check up on Moonie whose new job is decorating the cupcakes.

"Hey, how we doing over here?" you ask as you wash your hands.

"Good. I thought if we draw pictures on the cupcakes, people would be more enticed to buy them."

This elicits an, "Oooh," from Pinkie.

You're pretty impressed by Moonie: it's not a bad idea but you know what Moonie's creative spark is like. You look over the complete cupcakes to see various pictures that are all drawn quite well. There's Moonie in her adult form striking a proud pose and Sir Bearington doing battle with some monster and various ponies throughout the town clad in armour or fighting. You decide they're all pretty harmless and let her be with the exception of the cupcake she just finished.

"Moonie."

"Yeah?"

"What's with the two big lumps on my head?"

"It makes you look like a butthead," Pinkie squeals.

Moonie cheekily pokes out her tongue before you eat the cupcake whole.

"Hey, those are for the customers!"

"Yeah, stop ruining my art!"

"Tastshh tehst."

Pinkie has always had an attention problem, unless it was something fun and, while she does enjoys baking, she enjoys playing with Moonie more. Well, she sees it as playing, but Moonie calls it terrorising. You feel a tug at your pants that hastily rises up until you can feel the weight of a small filly clutched to your shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Hiding, shh!"

"You know my shoulder is a terrible-"

"Shh."

She points towards the door as Pinkie enters, nose firmly planted to the floor as she sniffs like sound kind of blood hound. Fascinated, you watch the pink pup until she boops her nose on your foot then she peers upwards.

"Playing pirate?"

“Get away peasant! I’m not playing your silly game any longer.”

"Enough," you interject as you place Moonie back on the floor.

Pinkie completely ignores you and rears up. She then shakes her flank to signal she's about to pounce. Moonie wastes no time in making her getaway. The room is filled with the stamping of hooves and Pinkie's playful barks. You roll up the Foal Free Press that's beside you and whack Pinkie on the nose the moment she tries to run past you. She comes to a halt and jolts upright, frozen in place, completely stunned about what just happened.

"No. Bad pony. No biscuits for you now."

"Oh, you're no fun," she sighs as she walks back over to her counter with her head hung low.

Moonie looks at you with a big shit-eating grin before you gesture to her part of the counter. She pouts before getting back to work.

You get a little too absorbed in your work for who knows how long but the smell of burning snaps you out of it. You hastily turn off the oven and take out the confectionery that has been burnt beyond recognition before looking for the two missing mares.

"Anon," Moonie shrieks as she sprints into the room. "You have to stop her. She's turned into some wild bea—"

Pinkie dives for Moonie and latches onto her firmly as the two barrel roll across the room. Moonie squirms and panics as Pinkie gives her an affectionate cuddle but her grip is too tight for her to escape.

"I think somepony needs to smile."

"I think somepony needs to release me before they incur the wra-"

Pinkie cuts her off by tickling her, sending her into a laughing fit. Her face looks almost like she’s in pain. Then again, you've often suspected laughter was like poison to her unless it was about someone's suffering. Normally you'd be entertained by their antics but you've got work to do, work you're falling behind in so you loom over the pair. Pinkie immediately lets go, allowing Moonie to hastily crawl behind your leg and clutch onto it in hopes of protection.

"Back to work," you growl.

The peppy pink pelose procrastinator shrugs before heading towards the counter she was working at.

"Uh, Anon."

You look over to Pinkie to notice the window behind her is caked in snow.

"What weather experiment was that purple little shi-" you cut yourself off, remembering Moonie is standing behind you.

"I never asked, so I think it's a little mean to send blame straight to Twilight like that."

"Pinkie, the weather here is controlled by the weather ponies and they said it'd be clear winter's day."

"I'm with Anon on this."

"Alright, I see your point but here's my counter argument," she replies with a sinister grin, "we have no work to do today."

Moonie clutches onto your leg again.

"So... I guess this means-"

"Anon... your queen requires your assistance," Moonie pleads.

You turn and face her with the same grin as Pinkie.

"She's got a point Moonie."

"Traitor!"

With a shriek of horror she scurries off into the other room. Pinkie tries to give chase but you scoop her up and begin tickling her. She wriggles and writhes in the grip with all her might but it's not enough and it doesn't help that her strength is fading thanks to her giggle fit. Moonie pops her head back into the room and when she sees Pinkie is trapped she arrogantly cackles as she walks back into the room.

"My apologies for ever thinking you were a traitor Anon, you've always been my second most lost servant."

"That I have your majesty but hearing what you called me has wounded me pretty deep," you reply as you release your grip on Pinkie.

"No, no, no, noooo~" Moonie shouts as she makes her pre-emptive escape.

Pinkie takes a moment to catch her breath before pursuing her prey. You enjoy a laugh to yourself before taking a seat with a book by Starswirl the Bearded. Seems in his spare time, the guy wrote really poorly written self-insert romance/sex novels. Well, it's categorised under romance but you'd rather call the story of Torolf and Hilda a comedy. You read a part of the story where he uses “dick parkinsons” to describe ejaculation and your sides split with laughter. Due to your roaring laugh, you don't notice the approaching danger. The two mares silently creep closer and closer to you and pounce.

"Gotcha," they exclaim as Moonie's magic uses a rope to tie you to the chair.

The two immediately try tickling you to no avail. Being rubbed all over by hooves doesn't really work for you, besides you've never been the ticklish type to begin with.

"He's not laughing," Moonie points out.

"Better luck next time, now untie me-"

"Yeah... I know," Pinkie replies before zooming off and returning with two icing bags, "as Rarity would say, it's time for a makeover."

Your protests and pleading for freedom fall on deaf ears, or rather they seem to fuel the mischievous little ponies.

The two giggle and mutter amongst themselves as they pour icing onto your face.

"Woah, Pinkie, why is the door leaking?"

If it weren't for the icing caked on your face, you'd look at what they are talking about. Then you hear the door open up followed by Twilight's voice.

"Sorry everypony, my little experiment had some minor... Complications," she says in a sheepish tone, "wait, what is going on here?"

"Nothing, we were just clowning around."

Pinkie Burst into laughter while Moonie gives a pained groan.

"If that was a pun, I'm going to hurt someone."

"Relax Anon, you just look as little funny is all," Twilight adds.

"Untie me so I can go home."

Someone uses their magic to untie you and as you stand up, the mountain of icing falls into Pinkie's mouth.

"Gross," you and Moonie say in unison.

Moonie then heads for the door but you stop her to once again force her into her winter clothing. The moment she's all dressed up, Pinkie scoops her into another affectionate hug while commenting on how adorable she is. Moonie just looks up at you with a deadpan look, her hope and optimism gone.

"I hate you both."

24 Ore no Kouma

You lie there on the couch, staring up at the roof while wrapped up in a blanket and thinking warm thoughts as the winter's frozen grip continues to try and turn you into a human ice block. It's a shame there is no electricity in this world, or that you haven't got a thick winter's coat like these ponies. Beside you is Moonie, seemingly unaffected by the cold as she plays with her train set. The scene brings a smile to your face. Her playing so innocently, it's as if she's like any other kid.

"Oh no! Train 1's track got changed somehow so it's on a head on collision with train 2. Train 2 has slammed on its brakes but train 1's have failed. Nobody can stop this now," she gleefully exclaims

You lie there and as she uses her magic to push the trains toward each other until they collide, then she casts a spell that sets them alight.

"Mares, stallions, colts and fillies all scream in horror as they try to escape the inferno. For some it's already too late, the impact has ended a few lives and a few unfortunate souls were rendered unconscious. They lay there, unaware of the fiery doom closing in and the panic surrounding them as ponies leap over them in their hasty get away. Then, suddenly, a lone spark finds its way to the train's exposed fuel tanker, igniting the scene all at once."

She casts another spell, causing the fire to flare up.

"Not one pony survives the ordeal," she mutters in a very excited tone.

"You know, I'm beginning to see why you were banished."

"What? I'm just playing," she replies, defensively.

"Yeah sure. You know what, it's too cold."

Rather than press the issue, you take a seat by the fire, your blanket still draped around your shoulders. Its warm glow soothes your frozen face and Moonie climbs into your lap, curling up with a satisfied sigh. You stare at the fire, imagining the horror scene Moonie has painted in your mind of the little ponies fleeing from the fire. Then you look down at Moonie, she looks almost at peace as she tries to sleep there. Her face seems content as the orange glow heats the area and her hair flowing as if a gentle wind is blowing.

"My little devil can't be this cute," you whisper to yourself.

25 Moonie and the Pink Party Popper Pranks

"Anon," Pinkie sweetly coos from the kitchen, "I need your help in here."

"One sec, I'm still cleaning out here."

"Oh come on, we're closed and besides it's just taste testing."

This grabs Moonie's attention who had been waiting in the corner for you to finish work along with Sir Bearington. You throw the cloth you were using to wipe down tables over your shoulder and gesture for Moonie follow with a smile. With a squee, the little filly scurries after you.

"Here you two go," Pinkie says as she hands each of you the pinkest cupcake you've ever seen.

"What flavour?" You ask as you take a bite.

"Guess," Pinkie replies with a broad grin.

Your teeth break through the warm, cloudy texture of the cupcake with ease. The taste of banana and maybe blue berries begin to fill your senses until you find a pouch of what tastes like icing in the centre. Before you can think about even chewing, it explodes in your face with a loud pop. In just a fraction of a second, pink icing goes everywhere; your eyes, hair, clothes, floor, roof and any other place within a few metres. You wipe the icing off your face then stand there, deadpan as you try and register it for a moment. Pinkie has already collapsed on the floor in side-splitting laughter while Moonie is staring at the wall, wide-eyed. You chuckle before passing the hand towel to Pinkie.

"Have fun with the mess."

"Aha-haha... What?"

"You made it, you clean it."

As you go to leave, Pinkie leaps and clutches onto your legs causing you to nearly trip over. The kitchen seems spotless aside from the pink icing everywhere so you'd wager Pinkie had the bright idea of playing her prank after she finished cleaning. So with that and the fact that you're too tired to help out, this feels close enough to payback for now.

"Uh, I'll give you a dozen cupcakes if you help me out."

"Exploding ones? Nah."

"If you tell me the recipe, I'll help," Moonie eagerly comments.

You can see her mischievous grin growing by the second underneath the her coat of icing.

"Oh no," you say before Pinkie has a chance to accept, "You're going home to a bath."

"What?! NO!"

You scoop up the pile of icing where the filly's voice was last heard and leave even as she squirms and protests. She's probably got a thousand ideas floating around in her of what she could do to the ponies of this town but that's not why you're desperate to stop her. You need to make sure she doesn't learn that recipe because you'll be her test subject.

As usual, Moonie continues to struggle and escape the "watery doom you have planned for her" until you actually get her into the bath, then she refuses to leave until you drag her out and offer to brush her mane. Then the two of you eat dinner before heading to bed. The moment your head makes contact with your pillow, you're out.

It's morning, the sun is up a little higher than when you'd usually wake but a sleep in isn't so bad once in a while. You doubt the cakes will be mad if you're a little late but you'd rather not test that more than you already have. So you leap out of bed and quickly clean yourself up before grabbing a cupcake from the kitchen for breakfast. As you take a bite, you look around the kitchen to see Sir Bearington on the counter beside some bowls, pots and cooking utensils that were recently used. The moment you realise what is happening, is the same time the cupcake explodes. A familiar scene of icing everywhere is all that's left, only this time it's midnight blue rather than pink.

"Well, at least now I have an excuse for why I'm late to work," you angrily mutter to yourself as you try to find a cloth under all the icing.

-Moonie's PoV-

You chuckle to yourself over the thought of Anon digging into a cupcake for breakfast. You're pretty confident it's happened already because he can't resist going for the junk food over the healthy stuff. Especially when it's right there in front of him.

"Hey Moonie," calls Scootaloo as she brings her scooter to a halt in front of you.

"Hey Moonie," Sweetie and Applebloom mimic in sync as they sit in the wagon Scoots was pulling.

"Morning Crusaders, you're up early."

"Well none of us want our cutie mark in sleeping so we get up early everyday to start our crusading," Applebloom replies, "how come you're up so early?"

"Pinkie Pie came over last night and taught me to make some special cupcakes so I thought I'd hand them out to ponies as they go to work."

"Really? Do you mind if we try one?" Pleads Sweetie.

You give them your best innocent smile which takes more effort than you'd think, they're making it too easy and you just want to mockingly laugh at their gullible ways.

"Of course. Hey I have an idea, let's see who can eat theirs first. Maybe one of you has a talent for stuffing their face," you state as you grab three cupcakes out of your saddle bags.

"An eating cutie mark sounds kinda lame, don't you think," Scootaloo replies.

"Yeah," adds Applebloom.

"I was just saying because I thought it'd be fun," you say with an exasperate sigh.

"It kinda does. Are you ready girls?"

Once they each have a cupcake in front of them, they all grin and lick their lips at the delicious trap.

"Three... Two... ONE!"

They dig in right away, eager to eat and to beat the other two so all three cupcakes explode at roughly the same time. The three painted fillies scream in shock and frustration. you think you heard Scootaloo shout for vengeance but you're not sure, you left the moment the countdown was over. After all, you don't want to be covered in icing, that would result in more of Anon's water torture. Not even Rarity washes as much as he does, it's weird.

"Hiya Moonie," squeals Pinkie as she leaps over to you, "How'd the cupcakes turn out?"

"Fantastic, Anon had one for breakfast."

"Thank you," she chirps with a huge shit-eating grin as she hops away again.

You didn't even get a chance to thank her, if she didn't come over last night while Anon was asleep, you'd never get to find out the recipe. You're certain Anon would do everything he could to stop that but it's too late now. Now you can terrorise the ponies of this town with exploding icing in cupcakes, who knows, maybe you'll start doing it to all kinds of foods until everyone lives in fear of it. Terrified the next bite they take will result in an flood of pink, sugary icing. You throw your head back and let out the loudest villain laugh you've got.

"Ugh, you okay there kid?" Asks Rainbow Dash.

You're not sure when or how she get in front of you but there she is. She also happens to be the perfect candidate for your next victim.

"Ahem, yes. Just thought of a prank to get Anon with."

"Sweet. Make sure it's a good one for me, I still owe him one after he got me with some super spicy food while I was hanging out with the Wonderbolts."

"Oh, I will. Anyway, here have a cupcake. Anon is making me hand out Sugarcube Corner's latest batch of free samples."

"Ah, I'll bet that's why you're going to prank him... Thanks," she replies as you hand the pink party popper as Pinkie so accurately calls them.

"Alright, I gotta hand the rest of these out before Anon finds out I'm slacking off," you state with a chuckle.

Dash laughs back before taking a bite. From the cover of a nearby alleyway, you hear the icing splatter everywhere followed by Dash roaring Anon's name. From the sound of it, she's out for blood which only makes you laugh harder. Once you recover from your crippling laughing fit, you set out to find your next victim.

It's not hard to find someone that you could get with a pink party popper but you're after the perfect prey. Someone so unsuspecting, someone who would be so caught off guard by it that they'd have the perfect reaction. Then you notice the allure of music coming from the town square. The music is calm, slow and inviting so you follow the sounds until you find a mare with a grey coat and black hair sitting on the fountain's edge playing a cello. Her eyes are closed and she's leaning on the instrument with a content smile as she coaxes more of the blissful tune out of it. Not wanting to interrupt, you take a seat in front of her and listen. Sadly, there's nobody else sitting to listen, everyone is just walking about to go somewhere or setting up stalls for the market. After a while, she stops and looks at you in surprise.

"Oh, I had no idea any pony was actually listening."

Her voice is sweet and refined almost that makes it soothing to listen to.

"I couldn't help it. You're very talented," you say, "I'm Nightmare Moon but most people call me Moonie."

"Yes, I've heard about you before, my name is Octavia," she replies with a genuine smile.

This strikes you as an odd thing, most ponies get uneasy or scared when they learn who you are. Anon must be spreading rumours that you're sweet and innocent or something. You'll have to correct that one day. Then you feel your smile return as you notice an open cello case in front of you. It's almost too easy.

"I don't have any money, so you can have a cupcake instead."

You reach into your saddlepacks but then Octavia speaks up, to refuse.

"Oh, that's sweet of you but there's no need, I'm not a busker. I just like to play my music outside."

"Either way, would you like one? I'm giving them out anyway."

You use your magic to hold it out to her, shaking it side to side and you spy a slight lick of the lips. The suspense is getting to you. All you want to do is let out this grin but you have to remain composed. It's so annoying how things are always harder when you need to hold back.

"Thank you," she says as she takes the cupcake.

Once it's in her hooves, you duck into the cello case for cover. Octavia doesn't even notice as she wastes no time in digging in and the cupcake wastes no time in exploding in her face. She lets out a loud shriek as the shock causes her to reel back. There's no room behind her so she ends up tripping over and falling into the fountain. Using your magic, you grab onto the cello before it falls then cast a spell to clean the icing off. You weren't lying when you said you enjoyed her music so it'd be a shame if you ruined her instrument. Octavia bursts out of the fountain's water, gasping for air so you hastily place the cello back in it's case and make a run for it. There's a bounce in your step as you finally let out the laugh you've been holding in. That was too good. Now, onto the next target.

By the end of the day you've handed out all the cupcakes to unsuspecting ponies which equals to 24 ponies now washing icing out of their coats.

"Anon? I'm home."

You pause and wait, but there is no answer. He might be working late or in a ditch somewhere, Dash did seem pretty mad. You'll have to apologise for that much at least. Not for giving him a pink party popper though, there's no way you can fake guilt over that. Then you notice Sir Bearington sitting on the couch, wearing his cute little suit of armour.

"Good evening, my queen."

"Evening, Anon not home?"

"I'm 'fraid I don't know."

"Hmm, come with me then."

With your magic, you bring the bear over to you for a hug. As you begin to wrap him in a tight embrace, you feel his armour make a squish which causes your heart to sink as black icing coats everything in the room including you and Sir Bearington.

"I'm sorry your highness, he made me-"

"It's alright, I'll make Anon pay for-"

Your speech about revenge is cut short by the screeching laughter echoing from the kitchen. You sit there, unimpressed as he continues to shriek, mocking you. Every time you hear him gasp for air, you pray the laughter stops, but it doesn't. He just laughs and laughs and laughs.

"Oh man... I n-needed that," he says in between giggles as he tries to pick himself up off the floor.

"Yes, yes. Very amusing. Now we're even."

"Oh no we're not. After the prank I got after you let Dash think it was me who made those cupcake poppers, you're cleaning this up."

"WHAT?! What did she do to you that justifies this as punishment?"

He turns ghostly white, his smile and joy is gone.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"No, I want to kn-"

"Don't ask. Once you're done then you can take a bath and I'll brush your mane. Sound good?"

Your heart skips a beat, "V-Very well..."

26 Moonie and the very tired human

You've finally reached your room and your bed is within sight. You kick your shoes off, sending them flying in different directions before falling onto the soft, inviting mattress. A relieved groan escapes your lips as you bury your face into the pillow. Before you sleep, you glance at the clock. 4:48am. Well, today is a day off so you'll probably spend it sleeping but you wouldn't be this tired if Pinkie didn't accept that last minute catering job at closing time. Combine helping a friend with a party and it's impossible for her to say no. You push any more thoughts out of your mind and fall into a much needed sleep.

"Anon," Moonie coos as she pushes a hoof to your face.

She starts drawing circles with her hoof on your cheek as you do your best to ignore her but she's not the type to give up and go away. You open one eye slightly to see Moonie's face looking at yours intently. Then she sees your open eye.

"Wakey wakey," she cheers as her magic opens the curtains letting in a blinding light.

"This is cruel, even for you."

"See, if we had things my way, it'd always be night and you could sleep undisturbed whenever you pleased."

"Let me sleep now then."

"Nope. If you're not up to make me breakfast in five minutes then I'll start drawing on the walls."

She leaves the room shortly after, leaving you with a surprisingly difficult choice. More than anything, you don't want to leave the safety and warmth of your bed but Moonie will just stir chaos until you do. So with a worn out sigh, you climb out of bed and you swear you can hear bones creaking and cracking under your own weight. It feels like you weigh three times as much as usual as you slide your feet to the kitchen.

Moonie is already sitting in her spot, using her magic to make Sir Bearington dance as she hums a joyful tune. You don't really feel up to making anything like pancakes so you pour some Applejacks into a bowl and place it in front of Moonie along with the milk and a spoon.

"This is my meal? I want pancakes," she stammers.

"And I want sleep. Guess which side won," you reply flatly.

"You know Sir Bearington is on the table? Not going to say something about that?"

"Nah, he's cool," you say while you shuffle back to bed.

Once you're back under the covers, you curl up into a ball and wait for sleep to reclaim you. Unfortunately, Moonie is faster than sleep as she back in your room as soon as breakfast is over.

"Anon," she whines, "I'm bored and don't you dare make that stupid joke!"

"Go crusading or something."

"Don't wanna."

"Play with your toys."

"That's boring."

"Do something that isn't annoying me. I don't care what."

There's a long, tense pause of silence before you can feel Moonie jumping off the bed. While you're not stupid enough to think this is over, you're content with knowing you've got some peace and quiet for now. As suspected, it's short-lived. Barely five minutes later, Moonie is back in your room but she's quiet this time. There's no sounds of snickering, things breaking or her making threats or demands.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Why? Can't I wait patiently for you to get up?"

"You can but you don't."

Curiosity gets the better of you, so you roll over to see the work of art Moonie is working on quietly. She looks over her withers to you and gives you a broad, mischievous grin.

"What do you think?" Moonie cackles.

The drawing is of Moonie sitting on a throne shouting, "the night will last forever," while various ponies lay defeated beneath her. You and Sir Bearington also lie amongst the defeated beneath Moonie's throne.

"You two honorably gave your lives to reinstate my rule," she fills in before you ask.

"It's very pretty," you reply before rolling back over.

"You're not even going to tell me off?"

"Don't forget to colour it in."

Moonie throws her markers across the room in a fit and stomps out of the room. You wait in silence. And wait. And wait but Moonie doesn't return. The house is silent even so hesitantly tuck yourself into bed more and try to sleep again.

You assume, somehow, Moonie is using her magic to wait for when you try to sleep because every time you doze off, she's scurries back into the room and jumps on the bed. She squeals louder the higher she gets which only makes her that much more frustrating. Slowly, you reach out to grab her but she leaps off the bed and away. No surprise she got away so quickly, she's full of energy while you're the opposite.

"God I hate you right now."

The pitter patter of hooves sprinting to your room echo throughout the halls and once again, Moonie is back to bouncing on your bed.

"What did you say to me peasant?"

She continues to squeal as you roll onto your stomach and do your best to feign being content. It takes a moment but Moonie gets the idea that she isn't bothering you and stops with a huff.

"Your queen demands that you get up this instant and entertain me. Dance if you have to," she shouts she tried to shake you.

Given your size in comparison to her's, the most she can do is jiggle your legs a bit but it was enough to make you realise that returning to dreamland will be impossible. Even if Moonie leaves you alone, you're up now. But you're not about let the little terror off the hook and being as sleep deprived as you are, you're in a cruel mood.

"What time is it?" You grumble.

"Nine o'clock."

You make a pained whimper and curl further into a ball before stretching out as far as you can. A few joints and limbs give a satisfying crack and pop.

"Give me thirty minutes and then we'll go to the park or something."

"I'll be watching the clock," she says after a pause.

As you lie back into bed, Moonie takes a spot up at the foot of your bed as she rests her head on your leg so she can watch the clock. Now, you wait. All the running up and down she's down has worn her down, enough for her to be able to take a short nap.

When you hear the faint sound of snoring, you delicately move out of the bed and go to the bathroom and turn on the cold water. You also grab a few ice cubes from the freezer, just for the added chill. Then you scoop the unsuspecting filly into your arms.

"Hmm, wha-" she mumbles.

She still seems to be sleeping but the fear still causes you to stop and hold your breathe. Your heartbeat rings through your ears. Even when Moonie appears to have drifted back to sleep, the drumming still continues and it's starting to give you a headache. With every step, you take a short, sharp breath until you reach the bath. Now you can feel the grin stretching your cheeks beyond their limits.

"Moonie," you sweetly whisper, "time to wake up."

"Huh? Must have dozed--"

Before she can finish her sentence, you dump her into the freezing cold water. She lets out some unintelligible shriek as the cold sinks in and immediately scurries to gain some kind of grip so she can escape. When she finally obtains freedom, she lies there on the floor and stares at the ceiling. Her chest rapidly rises and falls from her panting, from her face you can see she's still processing everything until she notices you towering above her.

"You," Moonie snarls as she gives you a glare.

"Now we're even." you gloat, "come on, let's go the park so I can take it easy and you can terrorise the other kids."

27 A Battle of the Ages

Even though you’re staring into a fully stocked fridge none of it appeals to you and might as well be a barren wasteland. There’s a void in your gut that wouldn’t be content even if you ate everything here. Eventually, you give up with a sigh and return to your desk to get back to work on your drawing. All this practice and you still haven't gotten good yet. The struggle is real. Then you feel a tug on your trouser leg.

"Anon, where are the bed sheets?" Moonie asks.

You turn to her, curious and before you speak up, you notice in the corner of the lounge room is a roofless pillow fort she must have built.

"Those double doors down the hall are for the cupboard that's full of them," you answer, your gaze still fixed upon the fort.

It's a simple build, using the back of the couch and its cushions as walls with a few pillows, clearly from your bed, as supports. As you continue to stare at it there's something inside you, an inner-child maybe, that just wants to crawl inside it. Moonie returns, dragging a sheet behind her with her mouth. Then with a flick and some magic, she places it on top before scampering inside.

"So, what do you think of FORT DOOM?" She asks as dramatically as possible from within the fort.

"Pretty cool. Move over, I'm coming in."

"Woah, wait."

You pause just outside the entrance as Moonie places a sign that reads, "NO OLD PEOPLE ALLOWED!"

While technically she is older than you, you figure that if you use that she'll start using it too. Probably to get out of trouble and to get something she wants. Besides, you've got a better idea.

"Fine, I'll just go make my own pillow fort. With blackjack. And hookers."

"I may look like a child but I know what a hooker is. You’re setting a terrible example as a parental figure."

"Still not invited to fort kickass," you reply in a childish voice.

"This childish jealousy is so unbecoming," Moonie chuckles from within her fort, "besides your fort will clearly be inferior."

You don't waste more time talking, instead you set to work on your fort. You use four chairs as the corner supports of your roof before stacking pillows like sandbags to form the front wall and the recliner cushions as the side walls. Once it's complete, you enter with a proud smirk. From a small gap, you can see Moonie inside fort doom glaring at you.

"What do you think of fort kickass now?"

"You're such a child."

"Look who's talking.

"How dare you, peasant!"

"Peasant? Look upon fort--no--look upon CASTLE kick ass and know that I am a king-"

You were planning to make a whole speech, even if you were making up on the fly, but it was cut short as a pillow soars high in an arc from fort doom towards castle kickass. It makes a direct hit with your forward wall, causing the pillows to tumble everywhere. Rather than fix it, you use them as ammo.

"War," you shout as you begin the volley of pillows.

"Sir Bearington, battle station," she roars as she returns fire.

Soft, cushiony doom flies back and forth between fort doom and castle kickass. Because of it's size, castle kickass makes for an easy target, you catch the pillows as best you can but you only have two hands whereas Moonie has magic to launch many in a row. While fort doom has the couch covering most of it it, you're a good shot plus Moonie's magic is only strong enough to catch one at a time thanks to her filly form.

"Surrender," Moonie demands from behind cover as you launch your latest barrage of pillowy death.

"You do?"

"W-What? No,” she awkwardly stammers, “I'm telling you to give up."

"Never," you cachinnate. At the same time a pillow smacks you dead-on in the face.

You glance back to your castle to see only one chair standing while the rest of it has been knocked down. Moonie's is in a similar state. It looks more like a laundry pile than a fort so with fort doom doomed, she comes charging out from under the rubble with a battle cry and a pillow above her with magic. You admire her courage but she must have forgotten how much strength you have compared to her. Not wanting the battle to end yet, you pick up a pillow as a shield and drop to your knees.

"Fool, you will regret relinquishing your one advantage," she triumphantly boasts.

She starts swing right away with quite a bit of force but you block each one. You can't resist laughing with each hit and it only annoys Moonie more each time you do it. She's quick to think and begins to run around you, rapidly swinging eager to hit her mark. While you're on your knees you can't exactly spin around quickly so your back and arse take quite a few whacks.

"Haha! Victory is at hand."

As she maniacally laughs, you bring the pillow above your head before swinging it right into the frantically scurrying filly's face. One hit and she is down for the count. Her pillow falls in tandem with her and she stays still, unable to fight on due to exhaustion.

"Had enough?" she asks in the middle of gasps for air.

You chuckle as you return to your feet and begin picking up all the bits and pieces of both forts.

"What are you--ugh, I'm too tired to care."

Leaving her to wallow in defeat, you begin assembling a bigger, better fort with the remains of the old. Using the chairs stacked on top of one another and a sheet, you create a slope then reinforced the walls and entrance with the pillows and couch cushions.

"What do you think?" You ask Moonie who has caught her breath and is now beside you grinning.

"Fort Doom 2.0"

"I don't get a vote in the name?"

"Fort Doom is not a democracy. My word is law."

You go to crawl into the newly built fort when Moonie jumps in front of you.

"Woah, remember the rule?"

She begins looking around, probably for that stupid sign you threw out so you take the opportunity to grab a pillow from the fort's wall and hit her with it.

"In this house, my word is law," you reply as you finally enter the fort.

"You can't do this. The people of Fort Doom will rise up and retake their home," Moonie protests, stamping her hoof.

Rather than reply, you roll over and relax. It feels much cooler in here after all. Moonie continues her protesting and started up a speech you're already ignoring until eventually giving up kicking down one of the chair supports, causing the roof to fall.

"Viva la resistance," she cries out as she makes her hasty retreat.

28 Nerph Wars

“Anon-”

Recognising that whiney little call, you interrupt her.

“You’re bored, I know. One sec.”

You get up and scrounge through your desk draws to pull out two little toys you had built from ones you remember from your world. Even in another world, copyright laws would still find a way to hunt you down so you call them Nerph guns.
“Here, use your magic to pull the trigger,” you say as you hold one out for Moonie.

She uses her magic to levitate it closer for inspection but somehow doesn’t quite grasp what you asked her to do. That or just didn’t listen, which is more likely. So you fire a round off that hits then bounces off her horn. The sudden foam dart pelting her scares the living daylights out of her. Her magic drops the gun then she lets out a high pitch squeal as she dives behind the lounge.

“It’s called a gun in my world,” you explain while simultaneously trying to suppress your laughter, “It uses air to fire little foam darts. 8 shots per gun. Harmless.”

She struts out from hiding, trying her best to make it seem she was never scared, to look over the gun again.

“So… like this?”

She pulls the trigger, firing off a dart. It whistles faintly as it soars across the room and bounces off a wall.

“Woah, alright. Let’s play!”

The overly excited filly beams at you which spreads a warmth in your heart and puts a smile on your face. You take the time to show her how to reload the gun, place the bullets fired back in then the two of you run off to hide. Once the pitter patter of scampering hooves dies off, you know Moonie found a place to hide. You can almost hear the echo of a small breeze flowing through the house because of the sudden silence. You’re half expecting a tumble weed to roll into your bedroom, where you’ve hidden yourself behind your bed.

“Anon! Come find me.”

“That’s just what you want, bloody camper.”

“I know, that’s why I told you to do it.”

Again things go quiet. But this time it’s boring. She’s not going to come after you so you get up to go find Moonie. You try to walk as quietly as possible, shifting your weight from one foot slowly to the over in hopes the floor boards don’t creak. The first room you decide to check is Moonie’s room. The door is wide open so you scan for obvious signs for where she might be to no avail, so behind the door is the next place to look. No fillies there either. You creep into the room more to check under and behind the bed but as you get on your knees to lift the sheet and check, Moonie dives out the closet with a squeaky warcry.

“Die scum,” she bellows.

She almost reminds you of the way a cat screeches when you step on it’s tail. With that and all three darts sailing right over your head, you give out a roaring laugh and fire three of your own shots. Two out of three find their mark on Moonie’s big head.

“Retreat,” she stammers as she zips out the room.

You pause for a moment and wait for the house to fall silent again. Then, you make your move. Stealthily prowling the house for the queen of mischief. Her size gives her quite a lot of places to hide, at least compared to you. It’s not until you finish the lounge room and are about to move into the kitchen that Moonie pounces once more. Like when the xenomorphs burst from their host’s chest in Aliens, Moonie burst through the two cushion of the couch, nerph gun at the ready.

“I’ve got you now!”

Two shots go off, one from you and the other from her. Both find their mark but before you can fire again, Moonie ducks behind the arm of the lounge. She pops her head up for a glance so you fire a dart that misses. But it gets you a second to duck into the kitchen. The problem with the kitchen is there are two entrances on either side of it. Making it easy for Moonie to get the drop on you if she guesses whichever you’ve got your back to at the time. You hastily take off a shoe and place it at one door so the toe can be seen slightly from the entrance, then you move to the other door. After a minute, your plan works. Moonie runs to the door you were waiting at.

“Hi,” you say with a menacing grin growing from ear to ear.

Almost as if you were in the old Scooby Doo cartoons, Moonie’s fur stands on end all at once as she jumps into the air to starts kicking and flailing her little legs to start running before darting off. You fire another two shots both of which miss. You decide to give chase. Your legs are longer so you’ll obviously be able to catch her without even needing to run. As she is sprinting down the hallway, you pull the trigger three time. One dart hits her square in the flank causing Moonie to elicit a yelp, the second falls short and the third is just a click. No dart. You’re empty and the enemy knows it. She grinds to a halt before slowly turning around. A low cackle echoes towards you as she aims.

“This time…”

She begins to run at you. You decide to let her have this and stay still. Moonie lets out a laugh as she fires shot after shot. Until she gets to her final two shots, when she trips up on something and slams face first. Being the arse that you are, you laugh. Hard. Then all laughter dies the moment Moonie lifts her head. Blood is oozing from her mouth and quite a bit of it has already pooled onto the floor. Worried parent mode kicks in and you dart over to her, scoop her up and carry her to the bathroom where you tend to the bleeding.

“Say ah,” you tell her, opening your own mouth to gesture to her to do the same.

Looking around you notice she’s knocked out a tooth and the bleeding has mostly slowed. So you clean her bloody face up a bit and give her a lightly dampened face cloth to soak the blood while you go clean the pool on the hallway carpet. There is where you find a very large tooth. You know horses have bigger teeth than humans but it’s still fascinating to see. Then an idea sparks.

“Well, aren’t you lucky,” you say aloud as you enter the bathroom.

“hohlw?” She asks, mouth full of cloth.

“Since you’ve lost a tooth, the tooth fairy will come to collect it and give you money for it.”

“Hohlw muth?”

“I don’t know how the tooth to bit exchange rate is. But usually you’d get a dollar in my world, two if you kept good care of it,” you state as you inspect the tooth, “maybe one bit. Do you even brush when I tell you to?”

“Yeasth!”

She nods furiously but you’re not buying it. The tooth looks lightly browned and a little grainy. Then again, she’s a different species. You’re not sure how healthy pony teeth look.

“Okay. The tooth fairy will be the judge of this.”

“Hegh, Amom, hohlw dosth tha tooflth fairwe imn lor-”

“You’ll have to take the cloth out for a moment.”

“Othay… How does the tooth fairy in your world collect everypony’s teeth if there is no magic?”

“Technology,” you bluff with an awful poker face.

The question caught you off guard and you weren’t prepared for the bombardment of questions that followed about how she does everything with only technology. So you do your best to lie through your teeth up until it’s bed time.

Once you’re sure the ever curious little menace is asleep, you step into her room quietly to grab her tooth from the glass of water beside her bed and replace it with a bit. Once the tooth is in your hand, you turn to be greeted by a very awkward blue mare smiling at you.

“Who the hell are you?” You angrily ask while trying to keep your voice below a murmur.

“T-The… Tooth fairy?”

You try to focus on the mare in the dark a little better.

“Colgate?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“What the hell are you doing in my house?”

“I’m here for the tooth.”

“Why?”

Colgate shuffles a hoof on the floor, avoiding any eye contact until she eventually stammers out an answer.

“I just need it.”

You rub your eyes in frustration.

“For?”

“Stuff…”

“Colgate!” You hiss, causing the mare to reel back in fright.

“Okay... but you have to promise not to tell."

You don't respond, you wait quietly for her to continue talking. All the while glaring at her which she probably can't see given how dark it is.

"It's... a, uh," she sighs, "a fetish thing."

Staring into her eyes, you can tell she’s serious. And the answer breaks you. You don’t want to ask into it any more, instead you just flatly ask her to cut you a deal.

“5 bits and it’s yours.”

“WHAT?!”

You harshly shush her. Colgate lowers herself, her head hanging slightly off the floor as she whispers what you think is an apology.

“I’ll also never tell a soul about tonight.”

Again, she scuffles her hoof on the spot nervously before giving an answer.

“Deal,” she replies reluctantly.

With that out the way, she takes the tooth and leaves. You pocket the bits and head to bed to dream about all the possible ways she could use a tooth for her fetish.

29 Jealous of the Moon

You step into Twilight’s library to an empty room. Books line the walls, books are scattered on the floor and the smell of wood and books fills the air. You can’t help but wonder just how Twilight is so obsessed with books but any train of thought is interrupted by a floating filly dropping onto your head, clutching firmly.

“Guess who,” she squeals as her soft little hooves cover your eyes.

“Is that my little queen on the night?”

The hooves move away to reveal Moonie’s face brimming from cheek to cheek as she sits atop your head.

“The very same.”

You lift her up and bring her in for a hug. Not even her screams of disgust are enough to stop you from enjoying the moment.

“How have you been? Good I hope.”

“Of course,” she replies in an offended tone, “what do you take me for?”

You place her on the ground and she takes a defensive stance, turning her head away from you to feign being hurt by your words. But you know better.

“A menace. Where’s Twilight--”

“Here. Here… Heh, sorry, I was up late last night studying and well, yeah.”

“All good. So, how much havoc did she wreak?”

“No more than usual. How was Canterlot? Did you say hi to the princess for me?” She asks with a very knowing smirk.

“Yes.”

“About that Anon,” Moonie cautiously perks up, “is everything alright? You’ve been to Canterlot quite a few times recently.”

“Of course. I’ve just been taking care of some personal stuff. I’ll explain later alright, I’ve got to talk to Twilight about something important so if you want to terrorise Spike for a bit then we’ll go home together.”

That devilish cackle echoes through the treebrary as she hunts for the lizard. The poor guy’s yelp can be heard soon after, normally you’d go stop the tyke but you need some advice from Twilight.

“So what did you do at Canterlot?” Moonie asks as she scurries beside you.

Sometimes you forget it’s hard for ponies to keep up with you considering your legs are longer. Other times you just like to watch their little legs rapidly move as they try keep pace with you. You stifle a laugh as you slow down, allowing Moonie to walk rather than nearly run.

“Just the usual. Talk to the princesses, get stuck in a few events held by some the rich folk there--”

“Boring stuff?”

“Yeah. But we’ve got a guest coming to dinner tonight so I want you to be on your best behaviour please.”

“Please? Did you just ask me oh so sweetly to behave?”

Her overly smug attitude grates on your nerves. You don’t need to look at her to know just how large that self-satisfied snigger has grown.

“Moonie I mean it,” you reply sternly.

“Okay,” she answers.

The rest of the day goes by about as well as every other time you’re away for a few days, with Moonie making up for lost mischief. As you try to clean the house and prepare dinner, Moonie runs around causing as much mess, noise and mayhem as she would in three days but condensed into a few hours. Eventually she settles down and with an hour to spare, she actually helps out to your surprise.

“So tired,” you groan to yourself before slumping face first onto the couch.

With near catlike senses, Moonie jumps onto your back and lies there. Then, there’s a knock at the door.

“Dammit… Moonie jump off so I can answer the door.”

“Isn’t it about time to tell me who our guest is?” She asks, unmoving.

“Or I can open the door and you’ll find out.”

She doesn’t answer, instead she continues to lay there so you roll to the side, causing her to slip off. She squeals and laughs as she drops to the floor as you get up and open the door for the Princess.

“Hey Luna, come right in.”

Luna steps in gracefully, her midnight blue mane flows in the non-existent breeze like always and taps your face as she walks by you.

“Hello Moonie--”

“What’s she doing here?” Moonie says in disapproval.

“She’s here for dinner… And she’s staying the night. I thought it was time to tell you that Luna and I are dating.”

Moonie stands upright, shooting a very unwelcoming look to Luna while Luna herself is unflinching. It’s almost as if she can’t see any negativity with that warming smile. The two had worked out their differences some time ago but that doesn’t mean they were going to hug and be bffs like you hoped. You knew there was no chance of that, but you hoped they might try.

“Is that why you’ve been taking off to Canterlot all the time?”

“Yes. I’m sorry to drop this onto you suddenly Moonie but Anon and I hoped this wouldn’t cause any trouble for you.”

At least, one is trying.

“No,” Moonie shouts, stamping her hoof, “This isn’t happening.”

Rather than continue her tantrum out here, she scampers to her room and leaves the two of you alone. Once the door is slammed shut, you notice Luna let out a very long and wounded breath.

“I told you keeping it a secret from her wouldn’t go over well,” she sighs.

“Yeah, well telling her sooner would have just given her prep-time to cause trouble for the two of us.”

“At least then she’d have it out of her system.”

“You should know better than anyone else that she doesn’t get it out of her system. There’s always more.”

A silence fills the room. Luna takes a seat on the couch while you try and think of something to say. Somehow, small talk like, “how was your day,” just doesn’t feel appropriate.

“What smells so good?”

“Uh, portobello caprese and bucatini alla lipari.”

“You didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”

“It wasn’t. That and I want to treat my girlfriend like a princess sometimes.”

She chuckles then smiles at you which soothes you a little.

“Besides, did you think Moonie would really eat commoner food?”

You’re still worried about Moonie and how this night will go. No matter how much you try, that panicky little voice won’t leave your head so you try to place all your focus on one thing. Luna.

The two of you eat dinner together, talking about all different things from ponyville and canterlot to ponies and past experiences. You tried to get Moonie to leave her room before you ate, to join you and Luna but she didn’t even answer you. Perhaps surprising her wasn’t the way to go after all.

“What do you normally do when she’s like this?”

“Throw her into an ice cold bath.”

Luna looks at you in horror and so you find yourself laughing at her.

“I don’t really do that. Moonie hasn’t been in a mood like this in a long while, usually I just let her cool off then go talk to her.”

“Then perhaps it’s time you two speak.”

With an uneasy sigh, you nod before knocking in entering Moonie’s room. You find her playing with Sir Bearington but upon noticing you in her room, she crosses her forehooves and turns away with a humph.

“So, want to tell me exactly why you’re mad at me?”

Moonie sits there silently for a time before turning to see you sitting on the floor behind her.

“Her?”

“What about her?”

“Of all the ponies?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I would have preferred you date Twilight before her.”

“What? You’d rather I date Twilight?”

She doesn’t answer.

“Do you remember the time we went over to Twilight’s when she had a cold and we found her passed out on a book. Remember those long tendrils of boogers going between her face and the pages.”

You notice her lips purse as she tries to suppress her laughter.

“Then she closed the book when we woke her and later on she couldn’t open the book to the page she was up to.”

“She was so distraught over that,” she roars, her sides unable to hold back any longer.

The two of you laugh heartily together before Moonie quickly regains her composure.

“I’m still mad at you,” she states defiantly, a hint of a giggle still in her voice.

“I figured. I bet you’re also hungry.”

“... A little.”

“Alright, come out and eat some dinner then.”

“What? Not going to ask me oh so sweetly this time?”

You sigh before pleading, “Please?”

“Very well. But only because you’re concern for me is clearly so desperate,” she replies with her nose proudly pointing into the air.

You open the door for Moonie who makes her way straight to the kitchen. Luna, who was sitting at the door, stands up and looks at you curiously.

“I think… It’s okay.”

A relieved smile appears on her face as she goes to the kitchen too so you follow suit.

You serve dinner for Moonie and a little extra for Luna who asked for seconds then there’s that awkward silence again. As the two eat you’re unsure if you should speak, leave the room or just wait. You replay the choices over and over in your head, thinking about whichever is best. It really doesn’t help that you have no experience for this kind of situation. Honestly, what is the right thing to do when your adopted filly child who once possessed your girlfriend and got them both banished for 1,000 years for trying to take the throne are in the same room together, eating dinner?

“Moonie,” Luna speaks uneasily, “I know we’ve had our differences and… history but I was hoping we could be friends. If not for me, but for Anon’s sake.”

Her words cause a pang of guilt but you try to remain silent as the two talk it out.

“I’m willing to be your friend on the condition you let me take your place as princess of Equestria.”

“This is really good Anon, did I mention that?” Luna nervously stammers, completely ignoring what was just said.

“Thanks--”

“Brown noser,” Moonie declares as she launches a spoonful of pasta at Luna’s face.

Luna freezes, shocked and dumbfounded as she goes cross-eyed trying to look at the food resting on her face.

“Why… That’s it--”

With the aid of magic, the pasta flies back at Moonie who was quick enough to get out the way but not fast enough to notice the second bit of food that collides with her flank. A growl can be heard from Moonie before food starts flying back and forth between the two. You duck under the table to avoid all the flying food and wait. It takes sometime but eventually Luna lets out a cry.

“Stop! I yield!”

“VICTORY!”

You take that as your cue to leave your bunker but only to get a mix of food hurled at you.

“What was that for?”

“It’s not fair that you get to just hide away like a coward,” Moonie beams.

“Fine. Fine. But you can go take a bath now. You’re a mess.”

Without arguing, she trots off to the bathroom. Which isn’t too surprising, she’s easy to win over once she’s triumphed at something.

“Are you alright?” You ask Luna as you help her off the floor.

“Yes, I’m quite fine. That was a lot of fun actually.”

You flick some of the larger bits of food off her coat.

“I’m sorry about all this. I know it’s been difficult for you.”

As you make eye contact, her lips are pressed against yours. You can feel the warmth of her mouth and the emotion behind it as you return it, then she pushes back and smiles once again.

“I have a feeling it’s all worth it. Now come on, we best clean this up.”

Once Moonie is finished washing herself, Luna goes into the bathroom and you go to tuck Moonie into bed.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself out there.”

“It’s always fun when I win.”

“I’m sure, anyway, up into bed.”

She then leaps into bed and lies on her back as you pull the covers up and over her head.

“Anon,” she protests with a shriek.

You then fix the blanket and take a seat on the side of the bed.

“I know you may not want to get along with Luna, but I’m asking you to.”

“Are you serious about her?”

“I think so, yeah,” you say thoughtfully after a pause.

“Then if you tell me a story AND make me pancakes for breakfast, I’ll think about being nicer.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I’m still going to cause trouble, just I’ll think about causing less of it.”

“Heh, of course… What kind of story?”

“One with a warrior girl and her bear take on a dragon,” she says excitedly.

“Okay… Uh, let’s see… Once upon a time there were a little warrior girl who heard about these dangerous lands where all manner of demons, venomous critters and dragons roam the harsh land. Being a warrior, she was constantly looking for new challenges so she thought this would be perfect test for herself. She braved the unforgiving seas and punishing lands before coming across a fierce dragon slumbering in its cave.”

“What did it look like?”

“It was a deep ruby red with fine scales layered over one another to form a natural armour as strong as any steel.”

“Claws?”

“Razor sharp,” you answer, flaring up your fingers as if they were claws.

“Teeth?”

“Pearly white with the bones of its food stuck in between them,” you flash your teeth as you respond.

“And its tail?”

“Swatting about, ready to crush any who entered its cave of treasures.”

Then you tickle the filly who howls in laughter and swats you away.

“Okay. Enough, enough, what happens next?” She asks, hopping in her bed with excitement.

“The girl leaped onto her valiant bear steed and charged into battle. The dragons roared, spewing fire from it’s mouth but the bear was too quick. It got in close allowing the girl to leap onto the dragons head and then…”

You don’t finish the sentence. You wait as Moonie looks around, confused.

“Well? And then what?”

“I don’t know, what do you think she should do?”

“Offer the dragon a pile of treasure that dwarfs his current one if he joins my conquest of the world obviously.”

“Of course you do,” you chuckle as your fix her blanket, “Goodnight Moonie.”

“Goodnight Anon.”

You quietly step out of the room and find Luna stepping out of the bathroom herself. Using her magic to dry her mane. You take the towel and begin to gently pat down her wet mane for her. She stays quiet as a small blush forms over her cheeks.

“Is everything alright?” She finally says.

“Yeah. Give her time, she’ll find something else to cause trouble over.”

With her mane dry, you place the towel back on the rack and lead Luna to the bedroom where she curls up into your arms, her head resting on your chest. You watch it rise and fall with your breathing as you drift to sleep. You have the feeling something else will go wrong, that things won’t end well. It’s hard to be positive given quite a few things but right now, things are pretty good and that’s enough to let you sleep with a smile.

31 Goodnight Struggles

"Moonie, bed time," you call out as you glance at the clock. You lost track of time a little there.

"NO!"

You take a deep breathe then groan as you prepare for the struggle.

"Don't argue with me young lady--"

"I'm older than you! YOU go to bed."

You pause for a moment as you recall she's something like Celestia's age.

"True. But I'm your parent, I'm in charge here and I say it's time for bed," you say as you step into Moonie's room.

"NO," calls a voice from under the bed.

You smile at the childishness of all this. Older than you? Hah, not a bloody chance. As you get on all fours to check under the bed, you hear the sound of Moonie's toy chest bursting open as toys fall to the floor. You spin around fast enough to see her running out of the room. Fucking magic.

Immediately you give chase. She went left so you assume she can only be in the lounge, dining room or kitchen. Carefully you check the lounge for any signs of a little filly who scurried in for a place to hide. Everything seems alright so you go into the kitchen to see nothing out of place. You're about to wander into the dining room when you hear a yelp. In between the fridge and the pantry lies the trouble maker of the night. You cackle to yourself as you help her out.

"No, this isn't fair!"

She's firmly in you grip as you carry her to bed.

"Surrender or there will be trouble."

"Fine," she sighs.

"Good girl."

You carry her into her room and place her in bed before pulling the blanket over her tightly. Her face pops up and she stares at you with her big, starry teal eyes.

"Good night Moonie."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Would you do anything for me?"

You pause and think about that. Not because you're not sure but because this is Moonie and it's obvious she wants something.

"Yes."

"I want you to do a backflip then."

"You're being silly," you reply with a smile, "Goodnight Moonie."

"Goodnight Anon."

32 No Bully Pls

“Anonymous,” Cheerilee calls, “Sorry, but can I speak to you for a moment?”

She doesn’t wait for a response, instead she walks inside while you asked to be excused from the circle of parents who talk while their children get a little after school playtime. You glance over to Moonie who is sitting atop the slide watching over the playground like a lifeguard or rather someone who owns the place.

“Is everything alright?” You ask cautiously.

Cheerilee seemed concerned as you sat in front of her desk. It was written all over her face, from the slightly pursed lips to the furrowed brows.

“Unfortunately,” she pauses for a sharp breath, “No.”

“So which is it, did Moonie picked on someone or are her grades slipping?”

Your tone is flat, unsurprised. And nobody could blame you. You’re already letting out a sigh as you try to rethink your approach to Moonie, she just never gets it. But then you notice Cheerilee’s mood falter even further and so you cut off your train of thought, sit up and listen.

“It’s quite the opposite actually, and it’s been going on for some time it seems. Her grades are great, she one of the more studious of the children at the moment.”

“So, someone is bullying her?”

Naturally, it’s a shock. You always figured if Moonie was ever picked on, you’d be talking about the fight where some poor filly was left traumatised.

“Yes, a majority of the fillies are.”

“Who’s the pack leader then?”

Your tone is cold as you enter parent mode.

“Silver Spoon instigated it, only as the light teasing her and Diamond Tiara cause but it has since out of her control now. Anyone who isn’t involved, stays far away from it. I will deal with the students here but I think it’s best you speak to Moonie about this. Try and help her through it.”

“Of course,” you stammer as you attempt to sound reassuring.

“Excellent,” she replies with a warm smile.

Without any more of a word, you leave the class to find Moonie waiting nearby the door.

“Didn’t keep you waiting too long did I?”

“Am I in trouble again?”

She gives a characteristic whine, rolling her eyes with a huff.

“Not today it seems. I was just catching up in your school work, seems your grades have improved.”

“Yeah, I’ve been spending more time inside during break to learn,” Moonie states, hiding the stress by avoiding eye contact.

“How about your favourite human carries you home… For doing so well.”

She hesitates.

“Is it alright if I go to Sugarcube Corner? Some friends are waiting for me.”

“Sure.”

And before you can tell her what time to be home by or even say goodbye, she darts off. You decide, at least for now, to leave her be. You’ll speak to her when she gets home.

You taste the broth, finding its flavour lacking. There’s a few random spices and herbs in arms reach so you throw in a few pinches as you stir. The vegetables bob up and down as they swirl around each other in a sea of caramel coloured stew, absorbing the new flavours and giving off a richer, more natural scent.

“It’s me,” Moonie calls out as she returns home.

“Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Okay,” she replies, sounding dejected.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t. Don’t give me that. Cheerilee has already told me you’re getting picked on at school. Did they also cause you trouble at Sugarcube Corner?”

“I didn’t go there.”

“Moonie,” you gruffly bellow, “how many times have I told you, don’t lie about where you’re going. I need to know where you are at all times.”

“I was going to but changed my mind along the way. I didn’t think I needed to walk back to tell you I’d rather go to the lake,” she defensively barks back, “Don’t worry, I already know to go to my room.”

“No. You’ll stand there while I lecture you because I know that’s a worse punishment for you.”

You spend the next few minutes reminding her about safety and all the trouble it’ll cause if something happens. It’s a lecture you’ve repeated what feels like a thousand times by now. Even you are sick of hearing yourself repeat it but it’s important she be reminded. More because you’re the parent here than any other reason. Moonie stands there, as instructed, listening to each word. Usually she would argue or roll her eyes but today she sits there. Watching you. Maintaining eye contact even.

“Now, about school.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You need to-”

The sound of bubbling and smell of burning catches your attention. Quickly spinning around, you see your stew overflowing to the point where it’s getting on the floor. As you dart to clean the mess, Moonie leaves. The slamming of her door can be heard at the same time as your heart hits the floor.

Once the mess is cleaned and dinner is served, the two of you eat quietly. Neither of you speak, Moonie even left her room the moment dinner was plated. You sit there, eating is silent discomfort, trying to work out just what to say or do. Everything Moonie does, just seems out of place for her. She’s timid, withdrawn and depressed. None one of those qualities have ever suited Moonie and you’re clueless on how to break her out of it.

Being supportive and kind causes her to reel back yet anything stern causes her to be timid and flat. Even now she’s staring off into oblivion as she eats. Then once her bowl is empty, she puts her dishes in the sink and retreats to her room once more. You let out a breath you weren’t even aware you were holding as your spoon falls back into the bowl. Then you sit back as you bury your face into your hands. You’re at a loss here.

It’s late and you can’t sleep. Seeing her upset has rocked you quite heavily. You want the mischievous but happy Moonie back, this doesn’t suit her at all. Determined to give the parenting role another shot, you climb out of bed and walk down the hallway to Moonie’s room. Being a responsible adult is what you signed up for after all.

You push her door open slowly, and look around the dark room. Everything seems in order and in its place, right down to the tiny filly whose soft breathing can be heard from the other side of the room. As you step in you notice some red tape is on the floor in a circle, adorned with various symbols and text that seems almost demonic in nature. It gives you a little smile, a worried smile but a smile all the same. It’s nice knowing even while she’s down, she’s still doing the same thing. Carefully, you take a seat on the edge of the bed but despite your care, the shift in weight is enough to cause Moonie to stir.

“Hmm?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Tell me you don’t watch me sleep,” she grunts from behind eyes that are too tired to open.

“No. I’m just worried about you.”

“I can take care of myself,” she replies, clearly irritated.

Whether her tone is directed at being woken or what you said, you’re not sure. To be safe, you’d assume both.

“Moonie…”

“Mm?”

“What are the other kids picking on you for?”

“Because they can. Why does any body?”

“I could ask you the same--I’m just… I’d like to help.”

“I couldn’t finish the text on my ritual circle, you can help with that. I’d like it done by morning.”

You flick her blanket over her head as she gives a faint chuckle.

“What kind of things do they say then?”

“All sorts.”

“Like?”

She gives a sigh, before shifting out from under the blanket to sit up. You feel a little bad about waking her up to do this but she’s talking, which is much more than you’ve had all day.

“Like how I lost to the elements, becoming a filly again, my family, any about being different like my mane… You know, the usual.”

“Family?”

“My dad is a hairless monkey, yes family,” she states in a matter of fact way.

You let out a huff of both amusement and irritation at that.

“Have you ever been picked on?” Moonie speaks up.

“Yeah... Who hasn’t really.”

“What did you do?”

“I tried a lot of things at first and then after a while, I stopped worrying over it. They still kept at it even if I ignored them but not as much, then, I joined a sports team and it stopped altogether.”

She ponders what you said for a moment before curling back into bed.

“I’ve got school tomorrow so…”

“Alright,” you reply as you climb into the bed with her.

“Ugh, quit it,” she squirms with a laugh, “Why can’t you sleep in your bed?”

“Let’s see… My house, I’m the adult, I want to, I can’t sleep and most importantly, I’m ten times your size.”

“But your big fat but is taking up all the space,” she announces as she tries to push you.

It’s clear she’s tired, her little hooves barely nudge you but you retaliate anyway. You lift the little menace and tickle her a little. The bundle of fuzz in your hands roars into a fit, uncontrollably thrashing to try and free herself from your grip.

“S-Stop it. I ne-need to sleep.”

She’s right, so you immediately stop. Moonie’s tired breathing is all that can be heard along with the occasional chuckle as she tries to calm down. As one last taunt, you flash her a grin which earns you a soft boop on the nose.

“Heh, fine. You win Goodnight Anon.”

“Goodnight Moonie.”

Morning comes as you decide to drop Moonie off at school. You want to talk to Cheerilee first thing in the morning and you always enjoy some quality time with Moonie. She seems less withdrawn and a little happier to be out of her shell today, which obviously plants a firm grin on your face.

“Okay, I’ll see you this afternoon,” she calls as she darts off to the playground.

Cheerilee notices you enter the class and approaches you with a friendly smile.

“Good morning Anonymous,” she gleefully announces, “How are things going?”

“A little better, I think.”

“Oh?”

You tell her you somewhat managed to cheer Moonie up and that the best approach might be to just to be there like normal. Cheerilee agrees with you but has an idea, the two of you work out a guide to try and help Moonie overcome this.

As the two of you discuss more of a plan, you hear a shout from outside so you move to the window. Looking out, you can see that beside Moonie is Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as they seemingly are telling off the other children.

“Hm, maybe we don’t need to do anything after all,” Cheerilee expresses.

“Yeah, seems she really can take care of herself,” you add.

33 RPG Moonie

“It’s time to wake up,” Moonie calls as you feel a hard kick to the lower half of your body.

“Watch it young lady,” you bark back.

“Excuse me? I am no child Mr Anon and you will refrain from referring to me as such.”

As you roll over, you notice you’ve been sleeping on the hard coarse earth. Your legs itch from the grass and your clothes are covered in dirt. Confused and lagging from being woken so abruptly, you rise to your feet and as you do, you notice the weight of the armour you’re wearing.

“Why am I-”

Then you notice Moonie wearing a wizard’s hat and robe while Sir Bearington has grown to be as tall as you while wearing some thick, plated armour.

“What is going on?”

Moonie turns back to you, giving you an inquisitive look.

“We’re venturing up to that temple of the blood god for treasure and glory,” she excitedly beams at you.

You glance at Sir Bearington who you think is staring at you. It’s hard to tell what a giant stuffed bear is looking at when it has buttons for eyes and a toothy smile stitched on his face. You should have given him something friendlier, then again that might have been even scarier.

“Come, it’s time to go,” Moonie calls as she waves her staff that’s clearly meant for someone of your height.

Using magic, he shrinks all the camp equipment and places it into a small pouch before walking onwards. Sir Bearington gestures to follow before he darts off to be at Moonie’s side. With a worn out sigh, you follow. You’re currently in some rocky plains so the terrain is hard, uneven and murder on your feet. The temple you’re heading too is quite a ways up a mountain too, it’s a near vertical climb. Moonie rides in Sir Bearington’s large, plushy arms while you pull yourself up with the added weight of armour and gear.

Once you’ve climbed to the top and arrive at the temple steps, you drop onto your ass eager for a break.

“What are you doing?”

“Resting, I’m tired.”

“There’s no time,” she shouts before pushing on the door.

It doesn’t open so she pulls to the same result. In a fit of anger, she pushes and pulls on the door, waiting for something to work.

“Moonie.”

“GRRRRRR!”

“Moonie!”

“Open damn it… I SAID--”

“MOONIE!”

“WHAT?!”

You point to the top of the door where a golden crown ornament is. In the centre of the crown is a circular hole and surrounding it is some writing that reads, “Enter the life blood of all royalty to enter.”

“Life blood of all royalty?” Moonie repeats.

“It’s a riddle.”

“I can tell that much-Oh, life blood. Sir Bearington, hold Anon down while I get some blood.”

“WOAH, we don’t need blood,” you shout as you pounce up onto your feet, backing away from the very large stuffed bear.

“What do we need then?”

You hastily rummage through your pouches, searching for the answer. Then you notice the subtle yellow gleam of a coin. You hold it up and place it into the hole that proves to be a perfect fit. The coin can be heard dropping and various latches, chains and other strange sounds ring out before the door flicks open.

“Well done. How’d you know?”

“Easy. Every rich asshole has gold flowing through their veins,” you quietly remark as you step inside.

The temple is decorated with all sorts of strange runes and symbols as well as statues made of gold and gemstones that are clearly in homage to this blood god.

“We’re going to be rich enough to pump gold through our own veins,” Moonie cheers as she rubs her hooves together greedily.

You can’t help but be impressed. Whoever built this was quite the craftsman, everything is so well done but your inspection is interrupted by a group of five skeletons wielding various weapons.

“Look out,” Moonie shouts.

You draw your bow as if it were natural to you while Sir Bearington and Moonie draw their own weapons. The skeletons rush at you.

“WOAH! What are you doing?!” Moonie bellows while gesturing them to halt.

The group of skeleton stop their charge and at look at each other confused.

“This is turned-based combat. Go back to your spot and we’ll do this fairly.”

“S-Sorry,” one skeleton remarks before his jaw falls off.

As soon as their backs are turned, Moonie casts a fire spell, igniting the group and incinerating them to ash.

“I know they have no brains but wow,” she cackles to herself.

With a joyful kick in her steps she proceeds to the next room that is even more extravagant than the last. A red carpet stretches all the way to a throne at the end of the room. Curtains hang from the walls around art pieces depicting the blood good. You stay on alert as you walk towards the throne. You’d like to be careful and quiet but Moonie’s constant excited giggling has put any hope of that to rest. The throne is made of some kind of polished stone and on the back of it is another piece of writing. At least, you think it is. If it is, it’s a language you’ve never seen before.

“I wonder what this says,” you say aloud.

“It says, To those who wish to claim the throne, an offering shall is the price to be next in succession to the blood god’s power.”

“How do you know-”

You’ve finally noticed Moonie who was sitting on the throne is now fully grown and laughing maliciously as her head turns to face you. Her body however remains facing forward and with each turn of her head, a crack in her neck echoes through the throne room.

“Thank you for your service Anonymous.”

Before you can plead, protest, run, or even wet your pants, Moonie fires a bolt into your gut causing you to bolt upright from your bed.

You look around and notice you’re back in your room. Moonie is on your lap after being rolled off your gut.

“What just happened?” You ask, still disoriented and in pain from the filly to the gut.

“You looked like you were having a nightmare so I figured I’d wake you up,” Moonie beams in her most innocent sounding voice, “And it’s breakfast time. I want pancakes.”

You wipe your forehead to realise your were breaking out with a cold sweat, meaning it was all a dream. Thankfully. You'd probably be more grateful if it weren't for the thundering bellow of pain ringing through your stomach thanks to Moonie's usual way of waking you.

“I hate pancakes,” you reply as you lift the blanket up, making Moonie roll onto the floor.

With a thump, she lets out a laugh and leaps back onto the bed.

“It’s the weekend and I’ve behaved at school. We had a deal.”

“Fine, but no growing up, no blood gods or sacrificing me to any gods for that matter.”

“I take offense to that. I would never sacrifice you.”

“I hope-”

“I don’t know how the oven works yet,” she interrupts before darting to the kitchen with Sir Bearington on her back and an overly happy laugh.

34 A Bet is a Bet

It's one of those cold winter afternoons where you can think of nothing more but curling up by something warm and having a toasty warm nap. Unfortunately you've got a house to clean that you've been putting off for some time now. Laundry has always been a pain but it's even worse now without a machine to do half the work for you. You continue to fold shirts as you ponder how difficult it would be to make a washer and dryer in this world.

"Magic can act like electricity in some way," you mutter to yourself as you recall the car juicer thing you saw once.

"What?" Moonie calls out whose attention breaks from the window to the muttering alien folding fabric.

"Nothing... What are you looking at anyway?"

You roll the last pair of socks and get up to go join Moonie in staring out as it's held her quiet attention for some time now.

"Pinkie. She's out there... Doing something."

Out there Pinkie is frolicking and building something out of snow. She's piling up more and more snow as time goes by, then she brings out a random tool to work at it like a chisel.

"What do you think she's making?"

"Knowing her it's impossible to really know but I'll guess a fort. A castle to be more accurate with snow catapults."

"Really?" She asks with clear disbelief.

"What, do you have a better guess?"

"Something artsy."

"Artsy?"

"Yeah."

Pinkie now has a hammer and is pounding holes into the massive pile of snow but it's still a massive pile of snow, offering no clue to what she's making.

"Want to make a bet?"

"What are the stakes?"

"Winner can make one demand of the loser."

"You're on."

The two of you sit at the cold window in silence, staring out at the perplexing parade the pink pony is put on in the snow. Moonie is sitting up on the sill so her breath is fogging up a small area in front of her and every so often so grumbles as she wipes the window clean with a hoof.

After a few minutes, it's time for pinkie to reveal her finished work. As if the mound of snow were a thin sheet, she pulls at it to reveal a snow castle with a canon made of ice sitting atop.

"I call it, the Wild Warring Wrath of the West! Are you ready raiders of the east?!" She bellows down the town.

A chorus of blood thirsty fillies scream back and with that, the snowball fight begins. A horde of fillies sprint at Pinkie, diving for cover or running out in the open, all lobbing snowballs as fast as they can. Pinkie leaps onto the cannon and begins to fire at her attackers. A few are hit directly in the face and go down for the count.

"Heh, looks like the Wild Warring Wrath of the West's whacks wield a whammy of a wallop," you mutter to yourself as you stand up to stretch.

Sitting still for so long has let the chill of the air seep in and you're feeling stiff as a result.

"How'd you know?"

"Oh, Pinkie told me all about it yesterday. She's been very excited."

"That's not fair, you knew the results."

"And?"

She pauses, carefully choosing her response. If she tries to argue, you'll just bring up the time she did the same thing to you in a bet over who could get more candy on Nightmare Night.

"What do I have to do? Dishes, clean my room, bathe?"

"I don't need to win bets to get those kinds of things," you smile widely.

"What then?"

"I'll be back with it in a moment," you tell her as you put on a warm coat and head outside.

You return with a white package, neatly tied with a blue and orange ribbon.

"What's that?"

"It's for you."

You place it beside her on the couch and she warily tears into it with magic. Then she lifts the piece of clothing you requested from Rarity and is confused.

"What... is it meant to be?"

"A onesie made of real treated wool," you reply with a grin.

Confusion is still very clearly written on her face but she puts it on anyway with a little bit of a struggle. Once she's set into it and comfortable, you muffle a giggle. It looks much better than you thought it would. It's got little circular horns and a puffy little tail, completely the sheep look.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I'm just thinking that it doesn't look to baaaaa~d on you," you mockingly answer.

Then she realises what she's wearing.

"What! No!"

She about to use her magic to rip herself out of the onesie as fast as possible in a fit of embarrassment but you leap over and scoop her up into your arms.

"No! We had a bet!"

You look down at the little filly who knows she can't protest but has decided to instead pout angrily with puffy cheeks. There's a heavy pang in your chest as loud as thunder overhead that runs through your body with the force of a war drum.

"Let me go."

"Not until you bleat for me."

She hesitates before conceding.

"Baaa~!" she unhappily complies with a bashful tone, "Now let me go."

Moonie begins to squirm and struggle, all too eager to be free of your grip but you've got her on lockdown.

"I changed my mind," you state as you continue to cuddle the pouting little mare.

35 Snug as a Rug

Today is fucking cold. The kind of cold takes a moment as it seeps under your skin slowly and turning you into an icicle from the inside out. As far as you can tell, ponies aren't affected by it. Yeah, they can tell it's cold but it's hitting you a lot harder than them.

You're finally home from work and all your thoughts drift towards bed. A bed that has warm mink blankets to be the tortilla to your burrito. As you walk down the hallway you find one of your jumpers have come alive and is trotting up and down. With a smile, you lift the jumper to reveal the little mare behind the magic act. She's looking up at the jumper, wondering where it's going, before glancing at you.

"Welcome home! Are you ready to play?"

"Not today, it's too cold," you tell her as you step past to your room.

"It's winter, what were you expecting?" She retorts harshly while following close behind you.

"I was expecting it to be cold so I can curl up in bed."

You lift your blanket up and wrap it over yourself before falling like a log onto the mattress. Only your head is out in the cold and the moment Moonie is gone that'll change.

"Anon, I'm bored."

"And I'm cold. We've been over this."

You roll over so it looks like Moonie is on the roof. You smile at your perfect view as she puffs her cheeks in anger as she understands she's not going to have her way so easily. So with overly dramatic stomps, she leaves the room as you retreat into your blanket like a bear for winter. Perhaps it's not too late to convince the ponies you hibernate for the winter. It'd be nice to sleep through most of it all, but you'd have to stock up on food. If only.

It's hard to be sure for how long, but you dozed off for a minute there. You were woken by the sound of clattering. It takes you a moment but the second clatter is enough for you to realise that Moonie is in the kitchen. Still in a daze you leap out from your cave, nearly tripping in the process as your leg was still wrapped up, you stamp into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

A stunned Moonie looks up from the oven and just smiles. You quickly grab an oven mitt and take the tray out before she has a chance to. Golden brown vegetable pasties dot the tray. While the colour and texture looks great, the shape of them doesn't. Some are triangles, some are circles and others make you think you're trying to find images in clouds.

"What do you think?" She beams with an expectant gleam in her eyes.

You pick one up and take a bite. Not your brightest moments, but whichever taste buds didn't get burnt to death say it's good.

"You just took them out the oven," she points out as your splutter and try to cool your mouth down.

"They're good," you say in between all the panting and sweating.

"Really?"

"Mhm. Really."

You give the proud filly a pat on the head as she eagerly cheers. You're not sure when she's been practising cooking but the house is still here and you're most grateful for that.

"Now you can read me stories."

You give a shudder from the cold as you notice it has begun to seep in again. Already you miss your blanket.

"Quick, go get your blanket. I'll plate these up."

You head into your room, grab your blanket to wrap around you and then step out into the lounge. Moonie already has a book, and placed the plate of pasties on the table beside the couch. You take a seat and throw the blanket over the two of you. With her magic she hands you the book and grabs a pasty for herself. The two of you then spend the afternoon eating as you read about Carrot entering the Watch.

You're not sure when but Moonie ends up falling asleep, her head on your lap as her light snoring can be heard. With a content smile and full belly, you read the rest of the book in silence.

36 Spoiler Alert: Moonie was adopted

You wake up in the morning and find yourself late for work. Not the first time and the cakes don't really mind a few minutes but in your addled and sleep deprived mind, you leap out and dart around the house to get ready. Sprinting past the kitchen, Moonie calls out.

"Where are you going?"

"Work," you shout back as you open the door.

"On a Sunday?"

You pause in the doorway, half in and half out, for your brain to collect itself.

"Oh yeah, day off," you state as you slam the door with a grin.

You saunter on into the kitchen to find Moonie looking up from you as she drinks straight from the glass of milk.

"I've told you not to do that."

"What?"

Her upper lip has the milk moustache thing going on and you find yourself in a struggle over whether to be the stern father or the immature child.

"Grab a cup and if I catch you doing that again all hell will break loose. You got it?"

"Yes sir," she says with a huff from under her breath.

She probably thought she was discreet but your ears are sharper than that. You haven't hit the old man years yet where you'll need some kind of horn sticking out your ear like a gramophone to hear everything.

"You know... Milk is the fastest liquid to those outside the farming process."

She raises an eye brow at you.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's pasteurised before you even see it."

Her face turns sour and scrunches up slowly as it sinks in.

"What was that?"

"A joke," you reply defensively.

"That wasn't funny," she replies in a tone of disgust.

"It kinda was."

With a shrug, you leave the room and go find something else to do.

You're idly walking around the house, really just unsure what to do with yourself so you peek into Moonie's room to see what she's up to. She's playing with her toys. From the looks of things, it's Sir Bearington up against a bunch of little soldiers.

"Pray now little warriors for your end has come. I contain within my soft and plushy arms, the power to destroy the world," she says in a poor attempt at a maniacal man's voice before cackling.

"You really enjoy the whole end of the world thing, don't you?"

"Hm? Well... yeah, it's pretty climactic. Why?"

"No reason, just pointing it out. You just keep playing like there's no tomorrow, alright?"

She rolls her eyes and ignores your presence by going back to her own little world. With a sigh of boredom, you leave the room in search for something else to do. It takes a few minutes before you realise there's literally nothing to do. You got all the chores done yesterday, you don't need to even make lunch yet and Twilight is off at Canterlot so you can't get any new books. So instead, you return to Moonie's room.

"And Sir Bearington, who saved the day, gets the damsel in distress," she narrates as voodoo doll and Sir Bearington are made to kiss with magic.

You grab her attention with a fake sniffle.

"Sorry, weddings always make me cry," you tell her as you wipe away an invisible tear, "It's not just me, even the cakes are in tiers."

Your joke is met with the immediate lobbing of the voodoo doll at you so you quickly close the door and wait for the thump before opening it back up to poke a tongue at the filly.

Eventually you find a book you only got halfway with. And for good reason. It's not really your kind of thing. Just some navy seal who goes back to the age of Vikings to stop some bad guy but ends up in some steamy romance.

"What you reading?"

"Hm, what?"

"Book. What's it about?"

"Uh... Glue."

"Glue?"

Her eyes widen as she notices your mouth stretch into a devilish toothy grin.

"Yeah, it's a great read. I can't put it down."

Using her magic in a fit of rage, she grabs the nearby couch pillow and starts swinging it at you over and over again. There's no real power to it and it's only a pillow so you find yourself giggling more than anything at each strike. Each laugh only seams to spur Moonie on as she tries to hit harder and faster, even aiming for your head.

"What is this? Some kind of cruel and unusual punishment? Fine! You win, I'll use a cup from now on just stop."

"I think they're funny but alright," you say as you rise from your seat, "Well, I'm hungry. Do you want anything?"

Moonie looks up at you in thought, then as deadpan as she can speaks.

"Hi hungry, I'm Moonie," she replies as the corners of her mouth flick upwards as she tries to fight off her laughter.

"Ah-ha! I told you they were funny!"

You grab the pillow Moonie was using a moment ago and proceed to lovingly smother her with it as she lets out muffled but roar of a laugh. Then the two of you go eat some lunch before playing with Moonie's toys.

37 Venomous Moonie

You're placing a plate into warm soapy water when you hear a panicked yelp and crash from Moonie's room. Worry fills you as you drop what you're doing and rush into the room. You push open the door and look into the room.

"Watch it, I'm up here."

Looking, you noticed an unnerved filly sitting on top of the door, clutching on for dear life.

"How'd you--What happened? I heard a scream."

"I didn't scream," she lashes back with a fierce tone.

"Yelp. Shriek. Doesn't matter. Here," you reply as you reach out for her.

She swats your hand away with a kick of her hind leg.

"There's a spider on my bed, get it."

You pause for a moment to read her face. Moonie remains stern and shaky, although you can't tell if it's because she's trying to keep her balance or just scared. Spiders isn't the fear you'd guess, in fact you wouldn't guess she would have a fear of anything aside from kindness. Needless to say, you're shocked but you'll worry about that later. You scan the bed for the spider that's long gone. You get on all fours as check under.

"What are you doing? I said it's on the bed," Moonie barks.

"I know but it's not there any more. You must have scared it away."

"Scared it away?"

"You're like a hundred times its size. I'd run away too if a giant starting screaming and flailing about."

"I didn't scream and flail."

"Right... Well, I don't see it anywhere."

You get back up and look over to Moonie. You're about to help her down when you notice the little guy sitting on her tail, it's a huntsman. Harmless things really.

"So, have you decided on your Nightmare Night costume yet?"

"Do you think it's poisonous?"

"Venomous."

"What?"

"Spiders aren't poisonous, they're venomous."

"Whatever!"

You reach up to Moonie and lift her off the door to place her on the ground. Once she's down safely, you quickly grab the spider on her tail. It's hidden in your hand and you decide you'll just carry the thing outside rather than needlessly kill it. Moonie follows you out the room.

"Not going to play in your room any more?"

"Not with that thing crawling about."

"Sir Bearington will have to deal with the demon alone then," you jeer.

She takes a deep breath and darts back into her room for her comrade while you open the front door to free the spider that's now halfway up your arm.

"What were you doing?"

"Thought I heard a knock. You know what, you can take a bath."

"We're out of shampoo," she boasts triumphantly, like that were some kind of victory.

"Then you run the bath while I run to the store."

"Ugh, but-"

"Argue and I'll chuck you in your room with the spider."

She grumpily agrees and you leave the house once you hear running water.

You return with the shampoo, and some conditioner as a just in case. Thankfully, Moonie did as you asked. The bath is full of hot water and she's in the lounge room waiting for you to return.

"Go on and jump in," you tell her after you've placed the products in reach of the bath.

She gives an irritated groan but does as she's told. You grab the plate you dropped earlier to see it's got a small chip. Luckily Moonie lets out another shriek to lighten your mood before she comes angrily scurrying down the hall to throw her brand new spider toy, that you left in the bath for her, at your head.

38 They Grow up so Fast

You're standing around in this circle of parents outside the school as you all wait for the kids to be let out. While most guys might be weirded out, as you and Big Mac are the only guys in the group, you're not. You're pretty much of an alien race here and the only one, so you're used to be the odd one out. You chuckle to yourself as the thought of you going insane, standing in a field and talking to some farmer's horses runs through your mind.

"So how about it Anon?"

"Hm?"

You snap from your world and into reality to see them all looking towards you.

"I was just telling everyone about how my little boy seems to have taken a shine to Moonie. Are you going to be okay if they start dating?"

She and the others start giggling amongst themselves while Big Mac gives you a very stern look.

"Won't happen."

"Oh, why not?"

"Because you're talking about Moonie here. The devil in tiny compact horse form. She's not going to partake in something lovey-dovey. Unless I'm wrong, then good luck to your son," you give a laugh and the others join in. Except Big Mac.

Big Mac just shakes his head at you. You make a mental note to catch up to him and find out what's up but not now, because school is out. The bell rings as fillies and colts cheers happily that the rest of the day is school-free. You notice Moonie is walking out alongside a colt, so the mother from before stands beside you.

"Aren't they just precious together. Oh, they grow up so fast."

Her last four words seem to echo in your mind over and over, as if you shouted it into the deepest cave while your heart just lightly sinks.

Obviously she's going to grow up one day... But does she have to start now?

"Hey Anon," Moonie casually calls.

"Hey, you want a ride home?" You ask, arms out-stretched.

"Uh, you know, I think I'll walk."

"And I think I'll carry you."

You lift her up into your arms and swing her a little before making your way down town. Moonie protests a little a first but she soon gives in.

On the way home, you stop off for some treats. You get something Pinkie calls a "Raspberry Shock Tart" while Moonie gets a few cookies and a gingerbread sword. She swings the sword around with her magic, probably fighting pirates or royal palace guards. Then you take a bite of the shock tart. The pastry is soft and warm, completely inviting as you bite into it. The raspberry jam is cool and works well, then the after taste hits. All at once, like a wave crashing down on you, is the taste of sour. A lot of sour.

"Ugh, what the--Dammit Pinkie."

"What?"

You tear off a piece, making sure it has plenty of raspberry on it and hand it to her. When she eats it, you notice this moment of realisation on her face when the sour flavour hits her. Then she gives this pleased and proud cackle.

"Oh, that's good. You have no idea it's there and then just, bam! I need the secret."

"Not a chance. I'm not letting you spike everything we have in the house with it."

"Do you really think I'd be so cruel-"

"Yes!"

"As I was saying, do you really think I'd be so cruel to spike my own food?"

"Watch it, or you'll get twice as much of that stuff as I will."

"Is that a challenge?"

"I'm willing to go down with the ship as long as I'm not alone," you reply with a sneering stare.

Moonie stares back at you for a while before breaking away with a smile.

"I see I've really had an effect on you."

"What do you mean?" you ask as you unlock the door to your house.

The two of you step inside then Moonie leaps up onto the couch to finish what she was saying.

"You were pretty docile when we first met. You used to accept whatever antics I got up to, but now? Now you're willing to challenge it."

"Disappointed?"

"Definitely not," she replies with an excited hop, "It's way too fun now!"

You smile as you lift up a couch cushion and bop her on the face with it before leaving the room.

"Are you in bed yet?"

You call out as you walk towards Moonie's room. You hear scurrying and the sound of someone fumbling with the blankets so they can dive into bed and hope you're none the wiser. When you open the door to see Moonie lying under the covers, trying to play it as cool as possible. Locking eyes with her, you walk around the bed and lift up a few of the toys she was just playing with.

"Alright, but you have to admit, I'm getting faster."

"I dunno, I'd call this getting sloppy."

"You dare insult your queen?"

"No, but I dare tell her that if she's not asleep very soon, there will be no pancakes in the morning."

She doesn't even try to weigh that threat, she just settles back down into the pillow.

"Good... Now, I have a question for you. A serious one, alright."

Moonie nods.

"How long would it take you to grow up?"

"What do you mean?"

She tilts her head a little before catching onto your meaning.

"Ah, well... I don't know. We could ask Celestia or Luna but I bet even they couldn't be sure. I'm nearly as unique as you in this world."

"Yeah... right... That's true," you reply as you draw an uncomfortable breath.

"If I have a say in the matter though... I was an adult for more than a thousand years," she recalls bitterly, "I'm not giving up being a filly for a long time. Who knows, me in this form could outlast you."

"I can't tell if I feel comforted or disturbed by you right now."

She flashes you a sharp smirk.

"Good. That's the way I like things to be."

In her own weird way, she's cheered you up so you give her a kiss on the forehead much to her own disgust and leave.

"Goodnight Moonie."

"Ugh, cooties! Alien slime! Get it off!"

She flails, reels and wriggles in disgust as she tries to wipe the germs away.

"BED!"

She laughs mockingly before quietening down.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, and sweet dreams."

39 Goodnight Moonie

Work for the day is done but you can't leave just yet. Mr Cake asked to speak with you after your shift, so you idly walk around in circles waiting for him.

"Hey Anon, sorry to make you wait," Mr Cake states as he enters the room holding a paper bag.

"All good, so, what's up?"

"I'm... afraid it's bad news. You see, the twins have been growing up so fast t-that we, uh..."

He cuts himself off as the nerves get to be a bit too much for the poor stallion.

"I'm fired?"

"I-I don't want to put it like that... but yes, we just don't have the money for you and Pinkie to help run the shop."

"Relax Mr Cake, I understand."

"We just don't want you to be mad or upset."

"I'm upset sure, but that's because I've enjoyed working here. I can't be mad at you guys, I owe you and Mrs Cake a lot."

He places the bag on the counter and looks down a little. It's clear that this is upsetting to him, which kind of helps soften the blow of this. Honestly, you didn't see it coming.

"Look, if you need a recommendation for anywhere, you let me know right away. I'll make it glow so much, not even Celestia's sun could compete. I'll even help find you somewhere else to work if you--"

"That's alright. You guys have helped me enough."

"H-Here," he says as he nudges the bag on the counter towards you, "It's your pay for this week, plus a little extra."

"Thank you Mr Cake, and tell Mrs Cake I said thanks to her too."

"Y-You'll still come back here, right?"

"Of course, this place makes the best food."

And with a defeated goodbye, you head home in need of a pick me up.

You step inside to see Moonie playing with her toys, as per usual. They're all lined up on the couch as she sits on the floor playing with only one, a pink and purple cat.

"That one new?"

"Yeah, I call him Cheshire."

"Hi Cheshire, I'm Anon," you kneel to say to the stuffed cat.

"Anon, he's a cat. They don't talk."

You rise and head over to the table where you place the bag of money and glance over the golden little bit inside.

"Oh, right. But dogs, minotaur and horses do?"

"Yeah," she replies in a mocking tone.

Her response elicits a small laugh from you. You've lived here for years yet even now you forget what was ridiculous to you usually counts for normal here.

"Okay then... Where did you even get the money for that?"

"I've been saving my allowance," she beams with pride.

"You've been saving?"

"Of course. I can't run a kingdom if I don't understand how to handle money responsibly."

"And a stuffed cat is a responsible purchase?"

"Subjects are the most important part of a kingdom, and Cheshire is the latest addition. Besides, I'm a filly. What should I spend it on? Food?"

You can't fault her on that. Looking at the little bag, you try to guess how long you can stretch this out but the more you try to add in variables to prepare for anything, the more complicated and stressful it becomes. Instead, you decide that worrying about it won't help.

"Here."

You hold out a few bits for Moonie.

"Payday already?" Moonie squees.

She swiftly grabs the money and darts up to her room to put it away.

"Excuse me?"

"Thank you Anon," she calls back from her room.

"Come put your toys away, we're going out for lunch."

The two of you step out and Moonie can't decide what she wants. Everything you suggest she turns down so you walk around the town square until she decides.

"Ice cream!"

"No."

"I'm not really that hungry, something small and sweet would be great. So, ice cream."

With a sigh, you head over to buy some ice cream for the two of you. You're not really in the mood to argue, you just want to do something nice and be done with the day.

"Which one do you want?"

"I want a vanilla one with a chocolate wafer stick and sherbet coating."

You stare at the greedy little filly until she says please.

"And just a plain vanilla for me, thanks."

The mare at the stand gives you your order and before you're barely three steps away from the cart Moonie chirps up.

"Anon, I accidentally ate my wafer stick. Can I have another?"

You just give her a disapproving look.

"Here, on the house," the ice cream mare says as she places another stick into Moonie ice cream.

"What do you say?"

"You're the best!"

The mare smiles warmly at you and so you return the smile as best you can before setting on your way home with Moonie.

"I think she likes you."

"The mare back there?"

"Yeah!"

"I've already got one pony giving me trouble in my life, I don't need another."

"Come on. You two could go on dates, she can baby sit me while you work, and I'll get all the free ice cream I want!"

"Ah, and now you've revealed your plan," you accuse with a laugh, "Eat your ice cream."

"Alright," she replies, "I've got bad news for you Mr Ice Cream. You're going to end up as poop."

"You're disgusting."

She gives a giggle of delight while she digs into her treat with enthusiasm. Before you're even home, she's eaten all of it and asks you if you're going to eat yours. You've barely touched it. Seems you've lost a lot of motivation for a lot of things really.

"Sure," you say as you hand her the treat.

Then you step inside and try to find a way to keep yourself busy before bed.

You just tucked Moonie into bed and are about to leave her room when she speaks up.

"Anon."

"Hm?"

"Can you read me stories until I fall asleep?"

"Sure," you reply as you pull up a stool beside her bed and pick out some books.

You read them aloud, one by one and get so focused on trying to real out loud clearly that you never noticed when she fell asleep. Her chest rises and falls in time with her breathing as her hair flows over her face. Gently, you push it aside up and behind her ear so you can see her sleeping face clearly. It's soothing to see her sleeping, she seems so content and at peace with things. And the room is so quiet, that even her soft little snores could echo.

While you'll never admit it aloud to the filly, she'd probably mock you for it after all, she's really made you happy. You got along fine before she arrived, most days were quiet but that's because you spent them mostly alone. Now you're a lot less lonely, you've even come out of your introverted shell quite a lot, and most importantly she has given you a certain kind of centring you didn't know you needed. In fact, you find yourself grateful even for the trouble she causes.

"Goodnight Moonie," you whisper as you kiss the sleeping little mare's forehead.

Then as quietly as you can, you head to your own bed and try to dream of sweet things. You're grateful the day is over.

Author's Note

Written while medicated. If the words don't make sense, I'm sorry.

40 Mischief, for the Greater Good.

Just like the day before, Anon is slouching into the couch and wasting the day away. You were told only the day after it happened that Anon was let go from Sugar Cube Corner. He seems pretty depressed and has slumped into a lazy mood. The dishes have begun to pile, Anon hasn't taken a shower, and he hasn't even begun to look for another job yet.

“Anon, I’m hungry,” you whine.

“Alright,” he replies as he climbs out from the cavern his ass has made into the sofa, “What do you want?”

“I dunno… Risotto?”

“I don’t feel like cooking for lunch.”

With a sigh, you just grab some cereal yourself while Anon returns face down into the couch. Part of you feels sorry for him, the rest is getting annoyed at how lazy and unproductive he has been. As you chew away on your Krusty Flakes, you stare at the pile of dishes that are going untouched.

“I spose I’ll set an example,” you mutter to yourself as you place your bowl on the pile.

Using your magic, you turn on the water nearly full blast then begin searching for the dishwashing liquid. It’s nowhere near the sink and going through each cupboard yields nothing. Then you notice the empty container sitting in the bin. You ponder your predicament for a while, then figure dishwashing liquid is just soap for plates, so you head into the bathroom to grab some soap.

As you’re heading back to the kitchen, you pass by the laundry room where there’s a pile of Anon’s dirty clothes on the floor. The washing machine will take a while to soak all these, so you figure you could turn it on while you do the dishes. Your magic isn’t quite strong enough to lift such a large pile, meaning you have to put all the clothes in one or two at a time. Because you’ve never properly worked the washing machine, you carefully go over the detergent’s instructions before closing the washing machine’s lid and turning the dial. The whole this begins to whir and violently shake once it’s on, causing you to fall off it. You flutter your wings to balance yourself out before you land, then with a proud beam, you pick up the soap you were carrying and head into the kitchen.

“Moonie, what were you doing? I can hear the washing machine.”

“Just cleaning Sir Bearington. He fell into some mud this morning.”

“Okay then. Just be careful.”

“A-Anon…”

“Hm?”

You’re about to speak up when you notice your hooves are getting wet. Looking down, you lift a forehoof to inspect the puddle that’s gathered around you that’s come from the kitchen.

“Are you feeling relaxed?”

“Eh, I guess.”

“Good. You stay there. Exactly like that. I’ll go… Get you a drink or something. Don’t move,” you tell the giant alien man before bolting to the kitchen in a panicked frenzy.

The entire kitchen floor is flooded with the water coming from the sink. You leap onto the counter and begin turning the tap handle the wrong way which causes you worry more. Then the tap handle comes off. You stand there in a daze, holding the tap handle in front of your face as the water is now overflowing even more.

“Moonie, what are you doing?”

Anon grabs the handle off of you and puts it back on before turning off the water. He turns to you and lets out a sharp, disappointed breath.

“Look, go take a bath, while I deal with this here.”

It’s best not to argue here, so you do as you’re told and go soak in the bath for a while.

After you’ve dried off, you head into the kitchen to find out how Anon is doing and probably help him clean the mess you’ve made. The carpet makes a sloshing sound as you push the kitchen door open.

“Hey, Anon, how’s--”

The sight to behold stuns you. The puddle is completely gone and Anon just finished washing the last of the dishes.

“Hey, I’m going to go do the laundry. Find a way to keep out of trouble for me, alright?”

He gives you a quick pet on the head as he walks by you. You’re still in a shock. Just like that, Anon isn’t slouching around anymore.

“All I had to do was cause trouble?” You grin as the realisation comes to you.

With an excited shiver you begin looking for what else needs doing around the house.

Over the next few days you cause all kinds of trouble for Anon with the goal in mind of getting him to stay on his feet. And it works brilliantly; spilling juice on the beds gets him to change and clean the sheets, drawing with chalk on the carpet got Anon to vacuum, and a stink bomb in the fridge motivated him to clean and restock it. Those are just a few of the long list of what you’ve been up to. Now you’re out and about in the town, looking for what you can do to get Anon out here and find a job.

“This will be kind of complex, now that I think about it,” you mutter to yourself.

“Heya Moonie,” chirps a unison of voices from behind you.

You spin around to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

“Oh, it’s you two. How are you?”

“I’m good, Daddy just bought us lunch at the Gilded Giraffe,” she brags with her head held up in pride, “Isn’t that right Silver Spoon?”

“Yeah, it was divine. I had this vanilla sou--”

“So, what are you doing?” Diamond Tiara interrupts.

Silver Spoon was excited to talk about something, but once Diamond Tiara speaks up out of turn, Silver just steps back with an apologetic smile.

“Helping out Anon with something.”

“Ah, so you’re busy.”

“We could help if you want?”

“Unless you know somewhere that’s hiring, there’s not really much you can help with.”

“I heard Anon lost his job at the bakery.”

That annoys you. Not Diamond Tiara being a gossiper, there’s no surprise there. It’s that rumours of Anon being fired have already made the rounds of the town, but nobody came with a job offer for him.

“That’s a shame. Anon was the best baker there,” Silver Spoon chirps up.

“His cupcakes needed work. They didn’t have the right burst of flavour,” you reply.

“I like them.”

“Anyway,” Diamond Tiara interrupts once again in an irate tone, “I don’t think Daddy is hiring.”

“I had to volunteer at the town office last week for that school assignment, I think they were looking for people.”

“Perfect. Thanks,” you state before you dart off to the town office, leaving Princess Brat and her parrot behind.

Once you’ve arrive at the town office, you begin looking around for something to wreak havoc upon. You push open the door to see a pile of papers that nearly reach the ceiling and from under that pile is a nervous Mayor Mare, frantically scurrying around, back and forth, trying to fill out multiple papers at once.

“This’ll be easy,” you mutter with a smile.

Pushing over a few pot plants, you begin to draw devilish symbols on the walls with the potting mix. Then you walk over to the largest stack of papers while an unsuspecting Mayor Mare places another form on top of it. Clearing your throat to grab her attention, you then push it over. The stack then collides with another causing all the forms from both to float through the air like snow around the two of you. Mayor Mare gives you a very annoyed and tired glare before having you sit in the corner to wait.

Mayor Mare sent someone to go get Anon who has been stuck in the office with the Mayor for some time. You’ve been forced by Anon to clean up everything. You were kind of proud of some of your drawings, but they’ve got to go. Picking up all the papers was the most time consuming because one pile was complete and the other was empty, so you had to look over each one. Once the job is done, you lie on your back in exhaustion and wait for Anon. A few minutes later Anon leaves Mayor Mare’s office.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” she says with a wave and a smile.

“See you then. Come on Moonie,” he replies.

The Mayor seems to be in a good mood, she even looks a little refreshed even. Anon also seems to be feeling chipper too, until you step outside, then his face drops into a very cold and stern scowl.

“I think she likes you,” you tell him in a cheeky laugh.

“Moonie.”

“Yes?” you reply with an upward inflection.

“You’re going to explain why you’ve been such a troublesome brat the past few days.”

“Me? A brat? Pft, some gratitude that is. Here I’ve been, working my flank off to get you off your own and this is the thanks I get.”

“Oh, really? You’ve been causing trouble for my benefit.”

“I’ve always been about the greater good you know.”

“Mhm, well then, you’ll be pleased to know you’ll be getting double chores now.”

“WHAT?!”

“For the greater good, of course.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“Oh, yes it is. And if you screw them up on purpose, I’ll start sending you around to other people’s houses to do their chores. Got it?”

You bite your tongue but it’s not enough to stay it, so you settle for grumbling obscenities under your breath. The Anon you know is back and he has a job.

“What was that?”

“This is why a being a hero sucks!”

41 Detective Moonie

Author's Note

To set the tone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCQfTNOC5aE

Also, I made a pixel picture of Moonie for those interested: http://bradleyeighth.deviantart.com/art/Moonie-steals-a-cookie-565262165

41 Detective Moonie

"The moon hung high in the sky, blanketing all in it's soft glow while the rain was beginning to let down a gentle drizzle all over the lonely town of Ponyville. It was the kind of night where folks might have gone a wandering. And maybe my partner, Anonymous, has done just that. But folks don't just up and wander away without so much as a goodbye. Especially not in this town. So I had some questions. Questions that needed answers, luckily I knew just the folks to get them from," you monologue dryly as you stare out to the window.

You put on your private dick hat then grab a box of pocky's for pretend cigarettes and set out as a mare on a mission.

Anon is still out at work, and he's later than usual. Personally, you don't mind all that much but you're bored and so the noir detective is the best thing you've got to keep yourself entertained until he gets home.

Your first stop is the lounge room or, as you've reimagined it, the docks. Cheshire was one of those shady folks that were known for helping out both sides of the fence yet he's not that much of a talker. But if you wanted to find what happened to Anon, you'd have to find a way to make that cat sing. You step past all the smoke and commotion the common folk around these parts are getting into and make a straight line to Cheshire. He was sitting above some crates, stock and things, brimming widely from ear to ear as much as his cheeks would allow when he notices your approach.

"Listen here, cat, I'm not here for games. I'm looking for Anonymous."

Cheshire continues to smile and eye you.

"Tall. Green skin. Stupid looking face. The kind of partner that couldn't do a damn thing without me watching over him. Ring any bells on that collar, huh?"

That smug little grin is getting on your nerves, the kind of grin that knows but won't move to say a word. You chew on a pocky a little and play the waiting game. A game Cheshire is a master at while you have little patience for anything, let alone waiting to get what you want. You give up with a loud groan then you spit out the pocky.

"Alright, I thought we could be cool cats about this, but it looks like I'm going to have to do with the hard way."

With your magic, you hold Cheshire's arms and legs so you can pummel the little rat. But just as you're about to land the first hit, the voice of a goody two shoes police bear calls out.

"Miss Moonie, I hope you're playing nice with old Cheshire."

"Sir Bearington," you exclaim as you let Cheshire free.

"That's officer Sir Bearington."

Sir Bearington was one those of honest, by the book till the bitter end kind of cops. The only one in this city. It was cute seeing the naive officer waddle about, thinking he could make a real difference.

"Officer Sir Bearington, my apologies."

He nods. You turn back around to see Cheshire has run off somewhere. Now you're pretty pissed at the officer for ruining your best chance at landing a lead on this case. But you're not about to show that.

"What brings you to this part of the slums, officer?"

"Missing person's case. I think you know the guy."

"Anon?"

"Yeah, what do you know about Mr Anonymous' disappearance?"

He takes out a notepad and pen as he watches you carefully.

"You've got to be kidding me? You think that I had some--"

"Just answer the question."

"The only thing I know is that he hasn't been seen or heard from for the whole day. I was the last person to speak to him and that was at breakfast. He was in a rush. Ran out with a slice of toast in his mouth."

"Any idea why he hasn't come back?"

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be out right now searching for answers."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Any reason why you wouldn't want Anonymous to come back?"

You grit your teeth and do your best not to tear the bear apart, it's not what Anon would have wanted.

"I have thousands of reasons to be annoyed at Anon. He took my rubber sword of me when I poked him in the eye by accident, I have a set bed time, I have to eat everything on my plate before I can leave the table, some nights he forgets to tell me a bed time story, I get sent to a school for children despite being over a thousands years old, I'm still grounded from taking over Equestria and the list goes on. But none of them are severe enough where I don't want him to return. Anon is the kind of pain in the butt you like to keep around," you answer in an irate tone before talking a deep breath.

"That's sweet," he replies in a flat, uncaring tone.

Suddenly the door swings open, letting in a gush of the cold night air. In the doorway, Anon can be seen drenched and out of breath.
The rain has picked up and so he must have run home with only a jacket as cover. He takes his shoes off in the doorway there before stepping inside. Then he notices your hat.

"Detective Moonie, have you cracked the case yet?" he asks.

"Yup. In record time too," you beam proudly.

He pets you with a wet hand as he walks past you, his steps making sloshing sounds on the carpet.

"Hey, I always new my favourite little detective could do it. Sorry I'm late. Mayor Mare and I were just finalising some details for some upcoming events. By the way, no more leaving your half eaten pockys on the floor or I'm talking them away."

He picks up the pocky you spat out earlier and throws it in the bin before heading into the shower.

You wait a while for him to be finished, then the two of you eat dinner then head to bed. Thankfully he remembers to tell you a bed time story tonight about loose canon detectives who don't follow anybody's rules but their own as they try to solve the case and get the dame.

42 No disco fever here. Just the regular kind.

You get up and begin the morning routine. Still groggy, you walk down the hall to the kitchen when a little filly pokes her head out from her room. She doesn't speak, she just looks up at you with suitcases hanging from her eyes and a distant gaze.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?"

"No. I think I'm dying."

"Always the drama queen," you reply with a chuckle as you kneel down and use the back of your hand to get the gist of her temperature.

From the feel of things, she's burning up. Going by appearances alone, it's clear she's coming down with something but you're not sure what. It seems like a fever but considering she's a different species to you, you can't help but doubt that thought.

"I think I'll just step out for a bit to go get a doctor, get back into bed and I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Anon, it's just a fever or a cold or something."

"I'm sure it is. Either way, I need to let Mayor Mare I can't come into work."

"You're worrying over nothing. I'm fine," she replies, continuing her poor attempt at being convincing.

"Bed."

With a grunt she does as you tell her so you make a b-line for the doctor's, stopping at the town hall along the way. Mayor Mare understands your predicament, she asks you to do a few things at home but repeats there's no pressure for them. And because it's still early morning, the doctor has enough free time to come back to your house with you to check up on Moonie.

"Seems to be just a fever. I can give you some medicine to make her more comfortable but all she needs is some rest and to keep the temperature down."

"Thanks Doc."

With a nod, he takes off leaving you standing there feeling silly grabbing a doctor over a fever.

"Should have just went the gut feeling instead of worrying," you mutter to yourself as you head into Moonie room.

"Told you."

"That you did. Now, I have the day off so we can just relax and do whatever."

"Discworld!"

"Again? I told you some last night."

"Yes, the sick mare should get whatever she wants," she demands with a stomping of her hooves.

"Alright, calm down."

You tell her a few stories that are half how you remember and the rest is made up. Halfway through a tale you stop as Moonie has been fidgeting constantly through the story, kicking at her blanket and rolling around to smear her sweat all over the sheets.

"Here, let me check your temperature."

You grab the little thermometer the doctor left with you and grin at the now concerned filly.

"Roll over," you tell her, trying to fight back a laugh.

"No... Not one of those," Moonie protests.

She gets up and is about to leap off the bed but you grab hold to lay her back down.

"Relax. I'm only kidding, say ah."

You count for a moment then check the temperature. It seems a little high so you head into the kitchen to dampen a cloth which you place across Moonie forehead. The ill filly lets out a pleased sigh.

"That feels nice."

"I'm glad. I think you should take it easy for now," you reply.

As you avoid eye contact, you prop Sir Bearington up beside Moonie for her then stand to leave the room.

"I've done nothing but take it easy."

"I know. I've got to get a few things to do for work real quick then I'll be back to keep you entertained."

"Okay," she sighs.

The work you had, took a bit of time to get done. Nothing too bad but an hour and a bit has passed. There's still more but you need to check on the pony whose feeling a little blue. You tap gently on the door then squeeze your head in.

"How are you feeling?"

Moonie looks up at you who has spread all her toys all over her room.

"Great," she replies sarcastically.

Grabbing the thermometer, you check her temperature again to see it has risen only slightly.

"Hm, you know what, a bath might do you some good."

"I don't wanna," Moonie stammers in protest.

You head off and fill the bath up. When you return Moonie is nowhere to be seen.

"We're not playing this game today."

This time, Moonie has done a good job of hiding. Perhaps the lack of energy with being sick has motivated her on finding a good place to hide the first time. She's not in any of the usual places. In fact, after a bit of time and searching you notice she isn't in her room at all. She must have ducked out at some point.

With an irate groan, you leave the room to find her laying out in the hall.

"Didn't get far," you chuckle.

She just grunts. Lifting the tired and defeated brat up, you carry her to the bathroom. Because you spent so long looking for the little terror, the bath has overflowed only slightly. You shut off the water then when you're about to place her in the water, she uses whatever energy she's stored to squirm and struggle for freedom. Thanks to the little pool of water, you lose your footing and take a tumble into the water yourself. Along the way, you smack your head and land wrong on your arm. Neither did anything serious, but it does hurt.

"Woah, that even have an echo! Are you alright?" bellows the overly proud Moonie.

You grab her and drop her into the water.

"I'm fine."

"You're a butt."

"Says the one whose out to give me a concussion," you reply as you splash her with water.

Moonie just takes the wave and sits there to stare at your, worn out and sickly.

"Come here," you say as you bring her over to you and hold her in your arms.

You soak there for a while with Moonie in the cooling water, telling her more stories of horrors driving peasants to madness at her request. Today was an alright day.

43 Anonymous the Hero

You hear a high pitched squeal and cackle of doom rain down upon the town, giving you an idea of which direction you need to head to.
Moonie is apparently causing enough trouble to get you called out of work to sort it out. You have no idea what she's done but you're already fuming over it. It's hard enough to get settled into a new job without this kind of thing happening regularly.

Arriving back at the town hall, you notice Moonie standing on the roof. Surrounding the building is a bunch of snowmen, all with something different to decorate them. There's one with buttons for eyes, others with food and a few are wearing your clothes. You let out a sigh then Moonie's laughter stops as she notices you.

"Ah, Anon. You have arrived at an opp--"

"Get down from there, right now."

"You interrupted my monologue."

"It has been snowing so it's slippery. Climb down now or I'm climbing up."

"Come! Join me up here for the perfect view of my conquest of Equestria!"

"With snowmen?" You ask sarcastically as you look around for a way up there.

Her laugh becomes a little more sinister as the snowmen begin to move. There's one beside you and so it startles you, as a reflex you whack its head off which causes the entire snowman to collapse in on itself.

"YOU DARE BETRAY ME," Moonie shrieks, "SEIZE HIM."

The snowmen move towards you. With a swift backhand, you cause the two in your way to collapse as you climb up the town hall. You're not in the mood to play around, nor do you have the time.

"General Buttons! Major Dick Winters! You'll pay for this!"

As you scale the slippery building, you can't help but wonder if she chooses the cutesy names on purpose. It's hard to take any conquest seriously when a general is called Buttons.

You reach the roof and Moonie begins to back up. The snow gives way under her footing and she is about to slip but you grab her to hold her up at your eye level.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You want to explain to me what is you're doing before I ground you for a year."

"A year? That's nothing."

"Yeah, a whole year in a place full of sunshine and rainbows where we'll talk about our feelings all day while we cuddle bunnies. Everything will be pink, everyone will have cutesy names like Nightmare Woonie and--"

"STOP! You're going to make me sick."

You place her back on the ground where she takes a seat and looks up towards you.

"You know, you're pretty twisted. And you can relax, I wasn't really going to take over Ponyville or Equestria."

"And the snowmen?"

"Easily taken down like you saw. I was just bored because you've been working a lot lately."

"There's lots of work to be done some days. There will be times where I'll be home even earlier than when I worked at the bakery."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I need you to behave. Stuff like this is going to cause delays, and probably increase my work load."

"Poo," she says as she blows a raspberry.

You lift the little filly up into your arms and place her on your back so you can climb down. It's a little tough for her to get a grip on your back so she wraps her legs around the back of your head and neck making it hard to see. Despite the slippery slops and soft hooves in your eyes, you make it down. Moonie leaps onto the ground, then you hear the stampede of the Cutie Mark Crusaders rushing over.

"Moonie," Scootaloo calls as she brings her scooter to a halt.

"We heard you're going to take over Equestria again," asks Applebloom in a worried tone.

"Does this mean we can stay up late?" squeaks Sweetie Belle.

"Nope. Unfortunately I've been bested by the hero Anonymous," Moonie cheers as she uses her magic to make all the snowmen collapse.

The other three fillies chime in with their own cheers. You smile and shake your head as you head back inside to get back to work.

"Sorry about that Miss Mayor. It's all sorted now though."

"It's alright, and you can just call me Mayor. You don't need to be so formal, it's only us in this office anyway."

"Right."

"Moonie has been quite the handful lately," she says almost offhanded as she passes you a few forms.

You feel a little embarrassed at her remark. While she doesn't sound like she's judging you, you can't help but feel like a bit of a poor parent. Guardian. Person in a role of authority. Mayor doesn't look up at you as she speaks because she's busy reading over a few forms herself. So it's hard to gauge if this is just an attempt at small talk or if she's annoyed at you.

"She's just acting out because she's lonely. I'll just have to work something out," you answer, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

"I'll sure you will. After all, what hope does Moonie have against Anonymous the hero?" She replies with a giggle.

You blush slightly.

44 Moonie's Booming Business

Worn out from playing with the tiny terror and eager to catch your breath, you fall onto the couch with your arms behind your head.

"Anon?"

"Lounge."

Moonie leaps up onto the head of the couch and flashes you a very tooth grin.

"Come on. Let's play."

"I need a break for now. After."

"You're no fun."

"And don't you forget it," you reply as you teasingly pretend to push her off the couch.

She leaps down beside you. The couch is a little springy so there's a small bounce along with a squeal of glee as she flies through the air.

"Hey, if I started a business, could I keep all the profits?"

"A business in what?"

"I don't know... lemonade?"

"Actual lemonade? No poison, mind control serum or something like that?"

"What kind of villain do you take me for? Using cheap tricks like that, honestly."

Using her forehooves, she puts a little pressure on your gut to further drive home that she isn't pleased with your remark.

"I very clearly recall you handing out exploding cupcakes."

"How is that a cheap trick? Just because you had to clean it. Anyway, could I?"

"As long as you've paid your employees, all your resources and stuff, then sure. I guess."

"Excellent! Can you bring me one of those forms that I need to register my business after work tomorrow? Oh, and I need to borrow some bits to start it all up. Think of it as an investment."

"I thought you hadn't decided on what you'll be doing yet."

"That's what I'm going to do now," she replies as she leaps off the couch and darts into her room.

Even through the wall, you can hear her excitedly chatting away with Sir Bearington about all the money they're going to make. You smile at how cute the silly little filly is being as you grab a nearby book to relax with for the next while.

A few days later Moonie hands in the form for her business, still refusing to reveal what she'll be doing, and now has her stall all set up. You figured you'd humour the idea and you'd also be giving her something constructive to do by handing her the bits to start up. Work keeps you so busy for the first day that you had to skip lunch. By the time you made it down to the town square, Moonie has packed up.

"How was the first day?"

She lobs a small sack at you. You catch it and give it a little shake. Bits.

"Plus interest," she answers as she uses her magic to fold the stall into a wagon.
"You didn't really need to pay me back you know. Here, let me get that."

You grip the handle of the wagon and wheel it back to the house.

"This is a legitimate business here. I can't go screwing over my investors."

Honestly there is a part of you that wonders about that. This is Moonie you're talking about. There has never been a more mischievous mare than Moonie.

"Are you able to afford paying me back right away?"

"Of course. I sold out."

"On the first day? Wow... Impressive... Sold out of what though?"

"You'll have to stop by tomorrow," she replies with a grin.

And with that, you decide to wait patiently for tomorrow.

This lunch break, you've actually got the time to stop by Moonie's stall. Thankfully. As you head into the town square, you're greeted by one VERY long line. You walk around to the side of it to get a good look at just how many ponies are waiting, and for what. It takes only a quick glance to see there's more than you're willing to bother counting and they're all lined up for Moonie's stall.

You can't help but feel a large sense of pride for her. Whatever she's doing, it's going great. Hopefully it's both legally and morally okay.

"Hey," and bored Applejack calls from your side, startling you slightly.

"Hey. How's things?"

"Slow actually. Your little menace has everyone's attention."

"Menace?"

"I mean it as a joke. Even I'm proud of her accomplishment. As long as it's nothing shady."

AJ gets back behind her stall and leans on it while she eyes the line. Boredom is clearly written into every inch of her face. You'd stay and keep her entertained but your lunch breaks aren't that long.

"What's she even selling?"

"Lemonade. It's the talk of the town, as you can see."

"Yeah... I was hoping to check it out and buy something but I'm on break."

"I've got Applebloom in line to get a small barrel so we can all try it. I'll save you some."

"Thanks. I guess I'll go grab something at Sugarcube Corner then."

"Later."

"Take care, AJ."

When work is over, you head to the square once again to escort Moonie home.

"I did even better today," she beams with excitement while she shakes a very large sack of bits.

"I'm proud of you. You've been doing really well."

"Yeah, I think it's time to close up shop," she replies in a very nonchalant tone.

"After two days?" You ask in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, think about it. If I keep going, folks might tire of the lemonade. So I'll close up shop and reopen in a few months, this way it'll seem rare. People will fondly look back on now and want more. Plus, next time I'll have stock prepared so I can make an even bigger killing before I rinse and repeat."

"Not bad I 'spose."

"Applejack does the same thing with Cider after all. Besides, it's all a lot of work to do on my own. "

"If you're so confident you'll do well, hire help."

"And make less bits?"

You chuckle a little at her. You're not surprised by her reaction in the slightest.

"So, how would you like to make an investment once again when I start selling the lemonade again?"

"Count me in. We'll need to have a talk about how much of a return I'll be getting though."

"Greedy."

"Heh, anyway, what's the plan for all your money?"

"I dunno... We'll see."

A few days later, when it's your day, you decided to get a bit of a sleep in. You even asked Moonie to not wake you, which she seemed to be fine with. Part of you worried she was only pretending to agree, just so she could wake you up by diving into your gut while you're at ease. She's exactly the type to keep her fingers crossed during every deal and promise. That is if she had fingers. It's midday and you're woken by the sounds of squealing. You're still very much groggy, your head has a thump echoing through it while every movement washes you with a dizzy disorientation as you try to remain awake.

"Wonderful," you say aloud to yourself in a very raspy croak.

You lick and smack your lips to end that crackly and dry feeling. Then you stand up and walk into the kitchen where the squealing gets louder. Judging from the sounds of it, it's Moonie and some friends in the backyard. Actually, it sounds more like screaming now that you think about it. This lights up all kinds of alerts as you open the kitchen window to look at what's happening. Now sitting in your backyard is an oaken wood catapult which is loaded and ready to launch a sobbing little filly to its target.

"MOONIE," you bark, startling both her and Diamond Tiara.

Moonie was all ready to hit the launch lever had you not shocked her just now.

"SHE LAUNCHED SIR BEARINGTON," Moonie instantly replies defensively.

"I don't care. Let her go, right now."

"BUT--"

"NOW! Or so help me, I will use that to launch your ass back to that moon."

"FINE! You're no fun."

"And don't you forget it!"

"Get down Silver Spoon."

"That's her name, I always forget," you think to yourself.

Moonie gives the filly a nod, signalling it's safe to get off. The poor girl repeats thank you over and over while she shakes in fear but at least the tears have stopped.

"You two. Home. Now. And I'll be having words with your father about this Diamond Tiara."

With that, they take off. Leaving Moonie alone in the backyard.

"Inside. Now. Because I am not putting on pants to go out there," you tell her, muttering the last part so she can't hear.

Once she's inside you set to lecturing her. As you go on about the safety and finding out who the jerk was that sold her a catapult, you realise that she was just launching junk. Which was when that raggedy bear got put on the catapult by accident. So now you head off in the direction Moonie was loosing everything.

It's not a long walk, Sweet Apple Acres isn't too far away. Everything she fired is in a small area. But some is in the trees or on the ground.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Applejack calls out as she pulls an empty cart.

"Don't worry, Moonie was just about to clean all this up."

Moonie opens her mouth to protest but a quick glare puts a sudden end to that.

"You can use this Moonie. Now, how about that lemonade I promised you?"

"Lead the way," you reply before following closely behind AJ up to the barn.

From the veranda you can still see Moonie, so you figure you'd kick back with AJ up here while Moonie cleans up. You take a sip of the cool, refreshing beverage. Honestly, this might just be the best lemonade you've ever had. Granted the only lemonade you've ever really had was mass produced, full to the brim with sugar and over carbonated. You have no idea when Moonie learnt this or who from, but it's very clear from past experiences that the only thing consumable she can make is this. Well, she can make other things but as far as you've heard, the town hasn't been stuck on the toilet for the past few days from this.

"Good, isn't it?"

"Yeah," you answer, almost in shock.

It was clear that her lemonade was good, but you weren't expecting this.

"I might try and get the recipe off her."

"I doubt she will. After all the cash she has made, she wants to sell it like you do your cider."

"Heh. As long as lemonade and cider season don't collide, I'm okay with that."

The two of you then quietly enjoy your lemonade while you watch Moonie struggle with cleaning up. The rope that's attached to a tyre has wrapped around the branches of a tree. You can hear her yelling as she struggles with the tangle all the way across the farm. It does take her a while, but once she's done, you head home with her.

AJ offers to take that stuff to the dump for you, it was all rubbish awayway so you accept her offer.

While you and Moonie are walking side by side, you break the silence.

"By the way... You're also grounded for a month for that."

"WHAT?! That's not fair."

"You're right, I'm being much too nice about this considering you nearly launched a filly into Sweet Apple Acres."

"One month?"

"One month," you repeat.

You can hear her groaning under her breath the rest of the way home which brings a smile to your face.

The little brat.

45 Grounded

"ARG! ANON!"

Moonie comes storming down the hall, stamping her hooves in fury. To you it sounds like adorable little pitter-patters on timber flooring, but you won't say that to her face because the angrier she gets, the more you want to cuddle her which in turns makes her even angrier. The cycle would never end.

"WHERE IS IT?!"

"Hm, where's what?" You ask in confusion as you try to get dressed for work.

"My candy! I had a bunch of it stashed away so--"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I told you before that you'll be having no more sweets. You fill up on them before our meals and eat nothing else."

"But they were mine!"

Bought using money you lent her, but you're not about to play that route. Acting like an authoritative jerk isn't going to make the following month of being grounded any easier.

"I know. And once you are no longer grounded, you can have them back."

"This isn't fair," she irately groans before stamping back up to her room.

You just shake your head as you head into the bathroom.

It's roughly half an hour until lunch time, and you have been watching the clock quite closely. You only had something light to eat before you left so you're counting the minutes before you can stuff your face.

"Alright Anon, we need to review the MR type permits. Bring them all up to date and simplify them a little more," Mayor Mare states as she finally pulls her head out from the filing cabinet.

She's look a lot more well rested today. Usually her hair is a mess, her eyes start to droop, and she struggles to keep her glasses resting on her face correctly. But that's likely because you haven't had an easy day like this since you started.

"Are we that out of work to do? Just a few days ago we were swamped."

"Heh, well things will pick up again soon as they always do. These forms however, I noticed haven't been updated for two decades now. I 'spose we could find something else to do..."

She blows a little bit of her fringe that was hanging near her eye upwards then gives you a warm but warn out smile.

"Like what?"

"You see, the school holidays are almost here."

"I know, I need to find something to keep Moonie busy while I'm at work otherwise I'll likely come home to a pile of ash or something."

"That's what I'm talking about," she replies with an excited beam of a smile, "Soon all these fillies will be running about but most ponies will still have work to do. They'll need something to give themselves a little extra time."

That's something you always envied with this ponies. They're always so excited and happy about things. Thanks to their cutie mark, they're usually able to find their passion quite easily. The majority find a way to implement their talent into their work, or at least a hobby. If only you could get some tattoo on your butt cheek to tell you what to do with all your time.

"Anon?" Mayor Mare says whilst waving a hoof in your face.

"Sorry, just thinking."

"About?"

"What you just said a moment ago... And that I need a hobby," you stretch as you answer her.

"Well, what did you use to do with all your time back in your world?"

"Hm, more or less the same thing. Work, then dawdle about until my next shift. I wasn't exactly the most exciting human," you awkwardly chuckle.

"I think you should get out more then. Just like fillies do when they're after their cutie mark, go DO things."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. What if we organised some kind of group... activity thing. Everyone can sign up their kids and they'll do all kinds of things like sports, arts, exploring? I dunno... But do you get what I'm talking about?"

"Like some kind of activity camp?"

You nod.

"Oh, Anon, I love it," she replies as she sweeps you into a hug before darting off to burrow her head back into the filing cabinet.

You glance at the clock, barely a few minutes have passed. But it's almost time to eat.

"Wait, it's almost time to eat," you mutter aloud to yourself.

"What was that Anonymous?"

"Uh, nothing... Say, can I go to lunch early?"

"Hm, not a bad idea. We can brainstorm on this after a nice break, and I could use quite a rest," replies the Mayor with a stiff laugh.

"Great. Thank you."

And with that you hastily make your way to Bon-Bon's Bon-Bon Barn. Once you arrive you immediately scan the place for that midnight mischief maker.

"Moonie been here?"

"No, not yet," Bon-Bon replies as she gestures over to one of the candy isles.

You quickly head over to that isle when you hear an all too familiar pitter patter of tiny hooves rush past you in the next isle over. Darting upright, you catch a glimpse of her tail as she leaves.

"Did she buy anything?" You sigh.

"Nah, we were talking shop while she tried to decide what she wanted."

"Alright, well she's supposed to be grounded for a month, so could--"

"Say no more. She'll get no candy from here."

"Thank Bon-Bon."

"You know I've got your back champ," she replies along with a salute.

It really doesn't take much to find her. Stubby filly legs versus lanky human legs. That and she tried to hide behind the alleyway of the building. Probably hoping you'd take off somewhere in search of her so she could duck back in.

"What'd I tell you about no candy? You're grounded."

"B-But--"

"No buts."

You skip out on a lecture, instead sending her home. She protests but you've always been more stubborn than her, so she eventually caves and heads back. Bon-Bon said she wouldn't let Moonie get any candy from her store. She doesn't really go to Sugarcube Corner any more, but you decide to stop by and ask the same of them just in case.

Work goes by with you and Mayor Mare just planning that camp. There was little else work to do so you even got to head home early. Home is a different story. Moonie is in her room, sulking. She kicks you out when you walk in, and so far you haven't made an attempt to talk to her since. She'll come out at dinner time. Hopefully in a better mood too.

Without much else to do, you set on cooking dinner. Easy stuff really. You've gotten much better at it since you were dropped in Equestria. There are considerably less take-out restaurants here after all. And there's the added responsibility of that extra mouth. Now that you're dwelling on this kind of thing, you've become a lot more responsible since you started caring for Moonie. Heck, you used to do your laundry only when you were wearing your last set of clothes. A smile forms on your face, growing ever slightly with pride. You've done pretty well for yourself really.

Now dinner is finished, all prepared, and waiting to be eaten. You give a quick knock on Moonie bedroom door.

"Dinner is ready."

"Okay," she replies nonchalantly.

She sounds a little odd, but you pay no mind to it really. Instead you sit down at the table, and wait for Moonie. A few minutes pass. Then a few more before you go and knock on Moonie door once again.

"Moonie. Come out and eat your dinner."

"Alright," she whines.

You pause at the door for a moment, waiting. But she doesn't leave. You can't even hear her moving. Curious, you open the door to see Moonie on the bed, a different location but the same position as when you first stepped into her room.

"Moonie?"

"What?"

"I said, you need to come and eat dinner. Now, not later."

"I heard."

"Well, if you don't come out before it gets cold then you can go without."

"Whatever, I'm not that hungry right now," she stammers defensively.

A little confused on what to do, you leave the room and head back to the kitchen. You wait at the table some more, picking at your food as time goes by. Still no Moonie though. Every so often you take a bite of your food, but you've got a loss of appetite. Moonie being so stubborn and rude has put you in a sour mood. With a heavy sigh, you take a few more bites then wrap up both your and Moonie's meal. She might decide to come out and eat later.

"She hates sleeping on an empty stomach," you tell yourself as you put the food away.
Then you decide to lie down on the couch and read before you head to bed. Only, even your sour mood has taken the interest out of this. You should take a firm stance on Moonie's grounding. No giving in just because she has gotten salty about sweets. A little bit of you does feel guilty though. No matter how much you try and push it back.

Eventually you fall asleep as you gloss over the pages of your book, not really taking in any information. Just looking. When Moonie hears your faint snoring, she steps out of her room very quietly to sneak into the kitchen. She eats the dinner you prepared. And just a little of yours because she was hungrier than usual. Also while she is out and about, she checks up on you. You're in an awkward pose, arms are sprawled out, back is twisted while a leg is lifted in the air. It's the kind of pose that'll have all your back, neck and joints feeling stiff and aching in the morning. Moonie just shakes her head in disappointment before delicately using her magic to set you to a more comfortable pose. While she's at trying to make you more comfortable, she gets you a blanket. Given her small stature and exhaustion for running around for the majority of the day, she lets out a yawn and curls up on the chair nearby the couch.

There she drifts to sleep for a few hours, only to be woken by a realisation she had in a dream. If you were to wake up and see her sleeping nearby, you'd probably wrap her into a hug or do something to embarrass her. So as swiftly and quietly as she can manage, she makes her way back to the comfort of her own bed. Where she dreams of sweet nothings, and ruling the world.

46 Hearth's Warming Eve

It's early in the morning. The sun is still making it's climb into the sky as it's warm glow creeps over the winter wonderland into your window where the tiniest hole in our curtains allow Princess Celestia's grossly incandescent light to perfect flash into your eyes. After a grouchy and groggy swear-fest of every kind of obscenity, you climb out of bed and head to the next room over. If you're going to be up this early, then by god she will too.

Besides, you're a little excited by both the day and the prospect of waking the little demon up first for once. You slowly open up the door and peer inside to see Moonie cuddly up to Sir Bearington. The sight brings a smile to your face. How can it not?

"She's adorable like this," you think to yourself as you plot how to wake her.

It must be the holiday spirit because your inner child kicks into gear as you leap up onto the bed. Obviously the bed was made for a filly and not a human of your size so the legs give way as well as a few of the support beams. Then to add the trouble, the force sends Moonie rocketing up into the air and she must have woken mid-air because it's not until she begins to fall that she lets out a scream. Thankfully you were feeling pretty alert at the time because you caught her before something worse happened. You hold the trembling filly into your arms.

"M-Moonie?"

She remains quiet for a moment, still shaking. Which only sends you into more of a panic.

"CAN WE DO THAT AGAIN?!"

"What?"

"Well, you broke mine so it'd have to be on yours but that was incredible," she cheers.

There's still a shake in her voice so clearly the shock isn't totally out of her system, yet you can't help but laugh.

"I'm glad you're okay, now let's go open your presents."

She makes a gasp as she realises, then leaps out of your arms. She flutters her wings a little bit before she hits the ground to brace her fall. So now you feel a little silly for worrying so much, she probably could have done the same. But then again, you did scare the crap out of her so it's good that you did. Just to be safe and sure. All of a sudden, she scurries back into the room to grab Sir Bearington before scampering back out again.

The poor bear has been getting an even rougher treatment then usual. One of his eyes has begun to fall out while the fur has become rough and shorter in some spots. Any reminders to take better care of him have clearly fallen on deaf ears. Moonie is already in the lounge room, hopping up and down as she waits for you.

"Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on," she impatiently stammers.

"Alright, alright. You open one of yours," you answer as you take a seat.

"To Moonie, From The Princesses. Best Wishes on this hearth's warming eve."

"You'll have to send a letter afterwards to thank them."

She blows a quick raspberry at you in jest as she uses her magic she looks over the boxes then grabs the largest one, before tearing off all the paper at once. The box is plain, giving her no clue what's inside but the size about as large as her so she's ecstatic regardless.

"It's," she excitedly says aloud as she opens the box, "WHAT?!"

Her high pitched screaming echoes through the house as she dives into the boxes. There's metal clanging and rummaging while the boxes bumps around. Then a moment later she leaps out of the box with a beastly bellow of a roar in fully plated armour. You're a little impressed, it's really nicely crafted. The princesses are royals with armoured guards and all, so you'd expect them to have a blacksmith but this looks nicer than the standard armour the guards get. The helmet is a little big, but the whole thing suits her well.

"I AM INVINCIBLE," she cheers.

"This is going to be great," you sarcastically state.

Moonie doesn't even hear you, she's too wrapped up in her armour. She's pretending to be fighting something or someone, along with sound effects of swords clashing, blood spurts, and death.

"Alright, here, next gift. This is from me."

The word "gift" breaks her from her fantasy world as she leaps for it. With her magic, she snatches it out of your hand and tears into it. Despite her eagerness, you find yourself doubting the gift. It's kind of hard to compete with a set of armour. Perhaps if she were a normal child, you might have a better chance. Then again, the Princesses will probably always be able to 1-up you in terms of gifts.

You push the thought into the back of your mind, ignoring its echoes as you watch Moonie pull out her present. She pulls out all the tiny little logs of wood and screws with a bewildered look. Then she lifts up the piece of paper and stares at you before going over the contents of the pages. As Moonie reads over it, her eyes slowly widen and the devilish grin on her face grows until the point where it looks painful.

"YOU GOT ME TINY SIEGE WEAPONS?!"

"You get anyone in the eye or something, even once, and you've lost them for good."

"YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!"

She swoops over to you to hastily wrap your neck up in a hug then darts back to her gift. Just before she gets invested in setting them up, you clear your throat.

"Oh, yeah... These are yours I guess. The card is from me and the box is from Sir Bearington."

You loose a smile at her remark. After all this time that the two of you have spent together, she still has moments where she can't really express her feelings to you.

"Thank you Sir Bearington, and you too Moonie."

You open the card first, making sure to find the right balance between normal and careful. Knowing Moonie she would put some kind of surprise in there but you don't want her to catch on that you can be pretty jumpy when she's involved. The card reads:

To my third in command, Anon,

Happy Hearth's Warming Eve.

Sincerely,
Your queen, Moonie, and your superior officer, Sir Bearington.

On the other page of the card, there's a little drawing of the three of you standing atop a castle that's the size of half the planet with a caption that's then scribbled out, "We could rule the world, if you just let me."

You give her a smile and she beams back.

"Did you like the drawing?"

"It was very nice. Th--"

"And the reminder?"

"What reminder?"

"That I'm your queen."

"Well, I never forgot that," you reply with a chuckle as you set the card beside you.

"That's good. I wasn't sure because you kind of forgot because you don't refer to me like that any more."

"I'll try to remember more often then."

"Good. You should."

You lift up the gift and are about to open it when Moonie is still gazing at you expectantly.

"You know, my queen, I am king of this castle. Perhaps you should remember to address me as such."

"This isn't a castle."

"Human tradition. This counts as a castle and as the owner, I am king."

"You're making that up."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, you're making that up," she repeats a little louder.

"Is someone addressing me?"

You pretend to be looking around the room until Moonie gives a groan.

"Where is your throne, sire?"

"I prefer, 'your grace.' Sounds catchier."

"Your grace."

"Yeah, what do you want my queen?"

Moonie just groans in frustration as she pushes the box sitting in your hands to fly into the air. You catch it quickly, then poke your tongue at the cheeky filly who mimics you. Once you've ripped open the packaging you find a clay mug inside.

It seems rather poorly made, it was clearly done by a novice as it's somewhat misshapen. The inside is about the size of Moonie's hoof and there's even a hoofprint inside. The handle vaguely looks like a tentacle but the painting is quite nice. The painting on it is of you and Moonie, with ponies bowing on either side. In a way, it almost reminds you of the ancient Greek or Egyptian vases that depicted gods, stories, and other things on them.

"Thank you, this is really nice."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. I needed a new mug after you broke the last one after all."

"I know," she says in a rather know-it-all manner.

The thought occurs to you that she might have done that for this reason, but you haven't really got a way to prove that. Besides, it's just a mug.

"That last present, it's for Sir Bearington."

Moonie curiously looks at you then the present. She's not as enthusiastic about opening this one but she doesn't exactly waste time tearing in. Using her magic, she lifts it up to reveal an eye patch. Honestly, you're getting a little sick of patching up that bear's button eyes. You never thought you'd get so good at sewing but it's always getting torn or falling apart. You figure an eye patch would mean only one eye to worry about, plus she'd probably get a kick out of a more ruthless look. She sticks it on Sir Bearington immediately, then gives a nod of approval.

"Here, I'll stitch it on so it won't fall off all the time."

She hands you the bear for you to sew up while she tries to assemble her siege weapons. As you stitch away, you look over the room. Really, this holiday is more or less the same as Christmas. Which is nice and helps you feel a little less homesick around this time of year. For the most part you're over the idea of going home anyway, you've been here too long for this place to be anything else but home to you. You like it here, a lot.

And nice to not be spending "Christmas" alone.

47 Camp Sunshine and Friendship

You staple another poster on the pole with one hand as the other struggles to hold the rest of the pile. Someone's magic grips the pile and adjusts it so you can better handle it. Quickly, you fix the poster up then turn to see Moonie looking up at the poster you placed.

"Sure, I'm a filly but that's high up even for Big Mac," she remarks with a stifled giggle.

Looking at the poster once more, you realise they're at eye level for you, so you sigh and undo the staple so you can lower. Then you let out a groan as you realise you've done the same for all the other posters you've done.

"Where would you be without me?"

"Probably reading these things out to all the ponies who can't see it."

"Yeah... So what's this about a camp?"

"Mayor Mare and I were planning it for the school holidays, that way all the kids will have something do you."

"Oh, I'm sure the Crusaders will be all over this kind of thing."

"They've already said they're coming, which is good. So you shouldn't get lonely."

"Woah, I never agreed to go to this."

"That's because you need a parent or guardian's consent, besides I'll be there to over see all this so you're coming either way."

Moonie protests constantly while you place up more posters, but it all falls on deaf ears.

"Camp Sunshine and Friendship," Moonie reads begrudgingly.

"I didn't choose the name, trust me."

"Oh, that I can tell. Then it'd read, Camp Butthead-who-enjoys-torturing-innocent-ponies."

"I wouldn't tempt me," you jokingly mutter loud enough for her to hear before darting off to the other parents.

"Anonymous deary," calls out one of the mothers you've never even seen before, "I'm looking forward to this camp so much. This is exactly what I, and my little Belle needs."

"Glad to have him, but the thanks should go to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They set all this up, the city hall just came up with the idea and funding."

"Pish-posh. That's nonsense darl. You've been putting a lot of work into this town and it shows."

"T-Thanks," you reply with a nervous laugh.

While you honestly don't think you've done that much, considering Mayor Mare always puts in a ton of extra work compared to you, her compliment still brings a blush to your face. Then you notice a chance to break away from this mare when you notice an orange mare in the distance. She seems the chatty kind plus you need to talk to Dash and AJ anyway.

"AJ," you call out, "Where's Dash?"

"A few folk haven't arrived yet, so she's raced back to check up on them."

"That's great actually."

"Yeah, she's really excited about this. I usually take Applebloom camping every once in a while, and Dash joined the last few times."

"Well, that's why I asked you guys. I never really did the whole camping thing as a kid."

"That's a shame," she replies with a sympathetic face.

"There was one time where I got to sleep in a tent for like... a week," you answer as you struggle to recall the time, "and I've been fishing a bunch of times. I'm kind of the outdoorsy type."

AJ lets out a chuckle before a filly rushes over to tug on her leg.

"Excuse me Miss Applejack, I can't get the tent poles to stay up."

"I need a hammer Miss Applejack," calls a colt.

"Me too!"

"Can we go look for firewood Miss Applejack?"

"Well, I'll let you get to things and I'll help out once I've got Moonie and I's tent up."

"Thanks Anon, I'll see you after," she says as she's dragged off by four foals.

It takes some time to set up the tent. Mainly because Moonie has decided she'd rather be a hindrance than anything else. You have the poles for one half set up and you're about to do the other when you notice in the corner of your eye, a little mare smiling while sitting beside the set up poles. As you work you continue to eye her. Then Moonie mischievously moves more towards it.

"I can tell by your smile what you're thinking."

"Can you now?"

She lifts her leg slightly, preparing to kick it when you point at her with a stern tone.

"Don't. Actually, go over there. Now."

"No fun allowed," she cackles with joy.

You let out a tired sigh and rub your eyes before getting back to setting up this tent. Once it's done, you climb in and stretch out. You still need to inflate the mattress but for now, it's nice. The fabric is thick, so it feels a little private. Even if you can hear the squealing foals outside.

"Anon," calls Dash.

You groan as you sit up. As you climb out, Moonie leaps in and sprawls herself out.

"Say hi to Dash for me," she pokes.

As you try to find the speedy mare, you think over how for the last week you've been running yourself ragged with all the final paperwork, gathering equipment, chasing up participants, and organising events. While you thought it was nice to finally get here to relax, you haven't been able to. The hike here and Moonie constantly being Moonie, has seen to making that impossible.

"Yeah Rainbow?"

She spins around and smiles up at you.

"Hey, just wanted to check in with you. AJ said you got here not long ago."

"Yeah, I was just setting up my tent," you answer while pointing to it.

"Should have figured yours would be the second biggest."

Dash laughs a little and ribs you before pointing over to the largest pink tent that's about as tall as you and donned with a silver tiara.

"Why, I wonder who ever could that be," you state in a feigned dramatic tone.

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon," Dash replies, oblivious to your sarcasm.

"Thanks. So, everyone here?"

"Rumble and Pipsqueak are the only latecomers, they're still making their way here. So that makes all accounted for aside from Featherweight, who can't make it. Poor kid got sick and needs to rest up."

"Ah, shame."

"Yeah. Well, now that your tent is up, let's go help out some of the foals."

She bumps your shoulder before darting off. You nod in agreement as you look around for who is having the most trouble. Which happens to be Snips and Snails who seems to not only have tangled their entire tent like a ball of wool but is also getting hassled by Moonie.

"You just have to cut this line."

"Are you sure that's what we do?" slowly asks Snails.

"I'm trying to help you, why would I lie?"

"Hmm, okay. Hey Snips, cut this like here."

"Oka--"

"Don't cut anything."

"But--"

"No buts."

"He said butt," Moonie snickers to Snails quietly.

Snails lets out a laugh that has that weird slow distortion to everything he says. It's weird.

"Look," you state as you tug the very line they were planning to cut.

The whole thing unravels it's self and lies in a heaped mess on the ground.

"That doesn't look like the picture at all Mr Anon," Snails says as he magically shoves the diagram into your face.

"Yeah, it's meant to be more, poofy, ya know?"

"I know eyebrows. I'm not done," you say as you get down on your knees to set their tent up.

"Eyebrows?" Snips questions Moonie who sinisterly smiles and shrugs.

As you're setting up the tent, you notice Snips is checking his eyebrows out in a shiny rock. You feel a little bit of a pang as you realise you've just made the colt self-conscious about something unnecessary. Then again, for a pony, they looks pretty freaky.

Once that's done and you've told Moonie off for agitating various ponies, including yourself, you go to take a break in your tent. Only to be called out by two little fillies that are like the blue and green long lost cousins of Scootaloo.

"We're bored," they whine in unison.

"Find a game to play or something then."

"The poster said there'd be games for us."

"Yeah, but," you pause while you think of an excuse to shirk this responsibility.

Looking over to Dash who is playing chasey with a few foals and AJ who is setting up the area of the bonfire, you let go of that train of thought.

"Alright, any ideas?"

The two argue over what games to play, a few other nearby foals even end up jumping into the debate while you sit there trying to throw up ideas for them to agree too.

"Tug of war," one suggests.

"Well, that'd be unfair for whoever's team I'm on."

"Not if it's us versus you."

"You're on."

You pull up a long rope and find the centre to tie a flag to. Then using a rock as a marker, you go to take one end. Tying the rope around your waist, you smile. The fillies and colts are all trying to get a good grip, still arguing over the order of things like it somehow matters who is tugging where. To hurry them along, you start counting. The minute you call out, "ONE," the fighting stops and they all co-operate for the sake of victory. It's a nice sight to see, shame how you're going to have to beat them all.

"TWO! THREE!"

All of them tug right away, and you don't try to fight back. There's only six of them, and none of them are strong enough to move you. You beam widely, gloating to all who look your way about how strong you are compared to a few foals.

"H-Help," Pipsqueak calls out.

A few of the nearby foals shout out themselves and then all of a sudden, the horde come rushing it. There's now too many to grip onto the rope. So you put the game on hold to readjust the rope of they have more to grip onto. You're feeling cocky now, so they can have the handicap. Some of the unicorns are planning to pull physically and use magic as they are all fired up to beat you. This time you intend to hold tight, there's many more so you'll have to actually pull but they don't have a chance to match your strength. You're about get your grip adjusted when you notice Moonie sitting behind you.

"Planning to join? Go over there then."

"You mean the losing side?" She snickers.

"Come on, just get involved. I promise not to beat you all too badly and who knows, you might make a new friend."

"I don't want to make new friends. I've already got way too many ponies thinking we're friends."

You roll your eyes and decide to leave her be.

"Ready?"

"Yes!"

"Let's go!"

"You're going down Anon!"

"One... Two... THREE!"

Again the tugging starts up, and you almost weren't ready for their new combined strength. They move you forward a little bit, but with a bit of centring your feet and pulling back, you've got it back to a dead-heat. You're not planning to outright beat them, it'd take all the fun out of things for them if that were the case. So you pretend like it's taking all you've got, giving them a little bit of leeway then taking it back.

After some time, you notice AJ has finished and Rainbow is getting the last of the foals to jump in. With every single foal, save for one, in the camp now on one end, it is in a dead-heat. You could probably put all your strength into it and take it slowly, but you're far too warn out. Just thinking about putting in that much energy right now demotivates you.

"Anon, really? Just let them have this," Applejack sternly tells.

"Not a chance," you laugh in response.

She rolls her eyes then gestures to Dash. They go to the other end and get ready to pull. You watch and just as they prepare themselves to give one large heave, you let go.

"Oh no, the rope slipped!"

All the foals, AJ and Dash take a tumble. The foals all buy it. They cheer, hug, and bump each other with pride while Applejack and Dash just look at you with unimpressed smiles. You smile back and then head over to the bonfire to get ready to make dinner for everyone here.

You've run yourself ragged trying to get dinner to everyone. You did it, but you're exhausted now. It was a tall order to make, made increasingly difficult as everyone made all their demands, requests, and a few even told you about allergies you had no idea about. So at this point, nothing seems nicer to you right now than just sitting down and relaxing. However, fillies and colts keep jumping up to talk to you and just generally not leaving you alone. Your food even ends up going cold and your bread goes stale because you can't get a bite in without having to reply to someone.

For most, this is the first time they've had to talk with you so they want to know about the alien creature that's been a mystery to them for so long. A few of them seem to have gotten it in their head you have super strength after that game of tug of war. You could clear it up and say it's because foals just have no strength, but you like the idea of being some kind of super being in their eyes.

Moonie can be seen across the way playing fluffy bunnies with Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara and the crusaders. While you told them not to waste the marshmallows, you're not in the mood to be a stern authority figure right now. Besides, AJ and Dash don't seem to care. Applejack is singing songs and Dash is telling stories.

Bored, you do a quick headcount. You've been making these every so often throughout the day. It seems like a good habit to get into. With so many heads to watch and only three adults to keep track of them all, it puts you at ease. Once you reach your final tally, you fall one short. Nerves set in but you try to reassure yourself.

"Probably miscounted. What with all these bobbing heads," you mutter under your breath.

"What was that Anon?" Rumble asks, who is sitting beside you.

"Nothing kiddo, just trying to count everyone."

"Oh, Pip might not be back yet."

"Where is he?"

"We were playing truth or dare earlier and he got dared to go into the woods alone."

"How long ago was this?" Your tone is much more serious now, but Rumble seems oblivious to it.

Typical of kids to be unaware of anything serious, you think to yourself as you head off.

"Shortly before tug of war but he didn't leave until after dinner."

"Thanks Rumble. Watch the fire for me, alright? Call Dash or AJ if it gets low and make sure nobody gets close."

He salutes then eyes the dancing flames as you head over to Applejack.

"Pipsqueak is missing. Apparently he was dared to go into the woods alone about half an hour ago," you whisper to her.

"What do we do?"

"Hopefully he hasn't gone far. I'm going to make a quick search but you and Dash stay here to watch the foals. If I can't find anything soon we'll send out Dash."

You wave to Moonie who tries to ask where you're going even though her mouth is full of marshmallows, so all of them spew forth from her mouth in a river or pink and white. Diamond Tiara, whose the only one with marshmallows in her mouth still, cheers before doing sugar lump thing with Silver Spoon. Just as she finishes the last part, all the marshmallows spew forth from her mouth. Leaving her embarrassed. But the group all laughs.

You take with you a lantern, and begin to search the area. Every so often you call out Pip's name. Not so loud that it gets back to camp but loud enough so if he's in the general area, he'll hear.

"So Pip is missing?" Moonie asks, finally revealing herself.

"What are you doing here?"

"Wondering what you were doing?"

"And what if I came out here for a... bathroom break?"

"Then things would have gotten very awkward. Also, bathroom break? You can just say poop or wee, we're both technically adults here."

"Are you sure about that?"

She pokes her tongue out at you while you continue to search.

"So, have you found him yet?"

"Does it looks like it?"

"Hm, what about now?"

"If you just came out here to be a pain, then go back. This is serious, Pip is missing."

You wander through the woods, circling the entire camp site to find nothing. Moonie the whole while continues to be Moonie. Which doesn't help your stress levels in the slightest. You also find yourself getting pretty mad at this point. Not a Moonie, but at how you came to this camp hoping to relax not to gradually build up more stress. The tug of war has been the only thing that you enjoyed doing so far, which was short-lived.

"Guess we'll have to send Dash out. Come on, we're heading back."

"You know Pip was hiding in a bush back near the camp, right?"

"What?! No. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought you were enjoying the stroll," she prods with a cheeky grin.

"Are you sure?"

"Wait till we get back to camp. Pip is a coward."

And sure enough, once you're back at the camp you see Pip beside Rumble happily chatting away.

"Hey Anon, I was just about to come looking for you," Dash says as she flutter up to your eye level.

"He's alright?"

"Yeah, Applejack gave him a scolding but it seems he was just hiding in a bush while he waited out the time for his dare."

You shake your head in irritation as Moonie gives you a knowing nod. She darts off to her friends while Dash goes back to telling spooky stories. For a moment, you look back out to the forest and contemplate going back out there to be alone but two colts catch up to you asking to play more games. You just give them a smile to try hiding your exhaustion and annoyance as best as you can while you follow after them.

It's late at night. Shortly after midnight judging by the moon's position. Moonie is fast asleep beside you. You however, can't sleep. You'd think after such a tiring week you'd fall asleep no problem. Nothing you try seems to work, not that you tried much aside from laying there and waiting. So you rub your face down a bit and climb out of the tent to stretch. Beside your tent is a few things you brought for activities and such, like your fishing rod which does catch your eye. You pick it up and a the tackle box as you set off to the nearby river.

While you were never much of a fisherman before your arrival in Equestria, you did get the hang of fishing soon after. With nothing like a computer or TV, you found yourself trying a huge range of things to keep yourself occupied. You tie the knot for the hook and cast it out gently. The river is rather small so you can't let it fly out too much. You watch the lure through the clear water dance and bob as the current pushes it around, then you cast your eyes skyward. As you gaze over the stars, trying to imagine your own constellations, you finally let out a long breath of relief.

This is more of what you were after. Actual peace and quiet. Ever since you got that new job, you haven't seen any peace. Well, ever since you decided to look after Moonie, you've never seen any peace. The thought does cross your mind to leave her with a babysitter so you can go off for a few days, but you can't really think of any ponies that could handle it properly.

The Cakes, the Apple family, Twilight, and Rarity are always so busy. Dash can't stay in one place long enough to watch anything unless it's a sport. Pinkie would just encourage Moonie, leading to more havoc. You don't know Mayor Mare well enough to ask for that. Berry Punch couldn't keep sober long enough even if you paid her. Fluttershy might be the only one you could turn too, if only she weren't such a push over. And that's about all the ponies you know.

"Hm, there is always the Princesses," you mumble to the sky.

Or perhaps there's someone who runs a foalsitting service. Which would probably be expensive, they'd probably ask for a deposit for therapy once you mentioned the former tyrant's name.

Bored and feeling an urge to break the silence, you blow a raspberry. Which is echoed by someone behind you.
You quickly spin around to see Moonie looking at you, still groggy from having just woken up.

"I didn't wake you when I left, did I?"

"No. I woke up," she yawns mid sentence, "just a moment ago and saw you took your fishing gear."

While you're relieved you didn't wake her, you can't help but be annoyed she came looking for you.

"You should head back to bed, there's plenty of stuff going on tomorrow."

"What about you?"

"I'll be back shortly. I'm just enjoying the night air for a while."

"Oh, I always enjoy that," she remarks as she takes a seat beside you.

Again you feel that pang of irritation. She just doesn't quite get the hint.

The two of you sit there quietly as the night air rolls over you. Then there's a light splash from the water. You're not sure what it was, but it wasn't to do with your rod. Moonie however, doesn't know that.

"Hey, you've got a fish," she excitedly clambers for the pole

Just as you're about to say something, she knocks it over and into the water. She steps aside for you to reach in for the rod. You grab hold and try to lift it but it doesn't budge. While the water is clear, there isn't enough light for you to see what. Trying to test the hold, you give it a few tugs which breaks the line.

"S-Sorry."

"No, that's on me... And I forgot to bring more fishing line."

"I can run back to camp real quick."

"It's all at home."

"Oh."

You throw the rod to the side of the tackle box and take a seat where you were. Moonie stands over the water's edge, scanning the water with a very careful eye. Then she bellows as she uses her magic to pull a fish out of the water. Shocked and unable to process why it's suddenly out of the water, the fish flops about in a panicked frenzy. So much so that Moonie can't hold it steady enough. It frees itself from her grip and falls onto the floor. You quickly pick it up and place it into the water. The fish is still in shock so it darts off and out of sight as soon as it's submerged.

"I wasn't out to catch anything," you state flatly.

"Then why were you out here with your fishing gear.

"Something to do," you shrug.

You retake your spot with Moonie beside you who looks up at you with curious eyes. She's looking over your expressions, trying to read you right now so you decide to avoid eye contact by staring at the moon. Eventually she stops and follows suit. More silence follows for some time before any conversation starts up again.

"You know... I actually thought that--"

You stop yourself as you look to Moonie who is looking back at you, wide-eyed and subtly smiling.

"Uh, do you guys have any constellations?"

She looks surprised for a moment, then looks at the sky with a beaming grin.

"We sort of do. Most nights Luna will use the stars to draw... It's kind of nice to see what she'll paint each night but the only regular constellations we have, will be made on important events and holidays."

"Ah."

"Yeah, like Hearth's Warming will have the six ponies who formed Equestria along with some windigos," she adds with a tone of excitement crackling her voice. You nod in reply, which causes the conversation to go silent. A few bugs chirping can he heard in the distance as the two of you sit there quietly. That is, until you notice Moonie open her mouth to speak but stop herself.

"No, what is it?"

"I, um, just wanted... To know you've been so... y'know."

"Moody?"

She nods.

"Guess," you coldly answer.

She looks away for a moment, awkwardly darting her eyes everywhere but at you.

"Me?"

You hesitate to answer at first, before letting out a sigh then the answer.

"Everything really. I'm just worn down by life right now."

"That's not so bad."

"I just want some time to relax, let the weight of everything not be on my shoulders for one night. But I can't. I have too much to do and too many folks to take away what little time I have to be alone."

Moonie shuffles awkwardly in her place which you don't notice.

"I am sorry."

You don't register the apology. It's not intentional, but you're just in a sour mood where it goes in one ear and out the other.

"Why can't you just settle down more often? Is there a reason why you have to bother everyone?

"I don't know, I just do," she shrugs.

"That's not a good enough answer."

You try to calm down, but it doesn't seem to work. Especially as Moonie protests without an answer.

"Well I don't really have a better one. It's just... What I've always done."

"Oh, come off it. You have to know."

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do," you shout.

"No. I don't! Why is it so important to have a reason? Can't I just be something," she defiantly shouts back.

"In this case? No. There must be a reason for why you're always..."

"Why what? Out with it."

You hesitate but as Moonie glares at you, your willingness to hold back drains.

"Why you always have to make my life difficult."

She shakes her head at you and looks away as she sits back down.

"I enjoy causing trouble. I find it a lot of fun. I don't know why, I just do... I thought you did too."

"What?" You question in shock.

"You laugh when you get angry, you get even when someone annoys you, you play around when you're sad. You help me sometimes and have fun doing it."

"That's only sometimes. But you, you constantly."

"Am I really that much of a pain to you? I just wanted to spend time with you."

The question hits back at you. For a brief moment, you think about the answer and it washes away the frustration only to leave guilt. You're still a little angry, but at yourself. For letting yourself get worked up like this and for trying to take it out on Moonie.

"Honestly?"

Your voice is a lot calmer and sober now as your eyes meet with Moonie's. She slightly hangs her head as if to brace for the blow.

"No. You're not."

"Then why--"

You can see her confusion, as she tries to piece what is going through your mind.

"I'm tired. I'm really, really tired," you answer slowly as you hang your head into your hands.

Moonie then crawls onto your lap and uses her magic to push your hands aside so she can make eye contact.

"So am I Anon," she says sweetly as she sweeps you into a hug, "I'm tired too."

Her hooves are warmly wrapped around your neck and you return the embrace instantly. You hold the little filly close to your chest and just enjoy this rare heart to heart. Then the two of you let go. Tired, you lean back into the grass and gaze upwards as Moonie steps onto your chest then curls up.

"We should go back to camp and get some sleep," you softly speak.

"Let's just enjoy the stars a little while longer," she replies with a yawn.

"Sure. Why not."

48 The Man and the Moon

The frightful filly of the night peeps her head through the door. You're about to put yourself to bed but before you can lay down Moonie leaps up onto the bed and smiles widely.

"No, bed."

"I can't sleep."

"You haven't even tried, it's been five minutes," you argue.

She sits then looks at you proudly.

"Your Queen demands a bed time story."

You stare at her through tired eyes until she says, "please." Then you lift her up into your arms and carry her back to her bed.

Once she's all tucked in, you start wracking your brain for a story.

"Just make one up," Moonie impatiently protests.

"Yeah, I'm thinking."

"Oh, I know. Tell me a story about your world?"

"My world," you repeat as you think it over, "Yeah, you know, I've got one. There was a time in my world where the moon actually fell from the sky."

"What? No way. That's impossible."

"I've told you, the way my world works is very different to yours. There's no magic to keep everything in it's place."

"So, what, it just falls apart sometimes?"

"Yeah, and over the silliest things too but we'll worry about that later. Now, the moon had been stuck in its place for thousands of years. It watched the people on Earth work and play each and every day so it was lonely."

"Your moon is alive?"

She bolts upright from the surprise.

"In my world, yes. Now quit interrupting," you reply as you push her back into laying down.

"So, it was very lonely. It fell from the sky and onto the Earth to begin wandering around. But you see, when things are not the way they should be, humans get very scared."

"I've noticed that abou--"

You hush her as you press a finger to her lips.

"A few humans had decided they were going to round up the moon and put it back. They thought it was dangerous to let the moon be anywhere that wasn't where they thought it belonged, in the sky. Obviously the moon didn't want to go back, so it ran."

"Did they catch it?"

"Nope. And if you keep interrupting, I'm going to stop. You see, the moon was very tricky and the humans were very gullible. However they outnumbered it, so the moon knew it couldn't run forever. And can you guess what happened?"
She hastily shakes her head, eager for more of the story.

Figures she'd be hooked on a story about the moon. You smile as you continue in a more sobered tone.

"The moon found a human, a lonely and unimportant little man who didn't really do much of anything. There wasn't much special about him but he could hide the moon. 'The humans would surely believe another human,' the moon thought. Well the man was curious about the moon but when the other humans came looking for it, he told them where it was yet he sent them away."

Moonie is about to speak, but catches herself.

"I'm getting to that now. You see, the man didn't like to lie but he wasn't about to let the group of humans bully the moon for being alone. He offered his friendship to the moon and it accepted. The two grew close and formed a strong bond, always happier for having been in the other's company. Living happily ever after. Now go to sleep."

You're about to stand up when Moonie curiously speaks.

"Do you know what happened to the two of them?"

"Yeah, they lived happily."

Noticing Moonie was wanting a little bit more than just happy, you kneel back beside the bed and continue.

"They had their rough spots like anyone. Like there was the time the man asked the moon to return to the sky."

"Did he hate it that much after a fight?"

"No, you see, the sky is where the moon belonged. The Earth needed the moon for all the same reasons you need the moon here. It couldn't stay all the time. The moon thought the man wanted him gone forever, but he meant for just a while."

"Oh, so the moon would sit in the sky to do its job then it could return to the man so they could be together, right?"

"Exactly. The man always cared about the moon a lot, more than anything but he also knew it was important to everyone and not just him."

You get up once more and head for the door.

"I like this story," Moonie says with a warm smile and a nod.

"Good, now go to bed."

"Can I sleep in your bed?" She calls out after you close the door behind you.

You let out a breathe and open the door once again so an excited Moonie can scurry for the door and past you.

"Goodnight," you say for the last time as you slide under the covers.

"Goodnight," she echoes happily.

As you drift to sleep, your mind fixates on whether Moonie picked up on the story's analogy.

49 Just a little hiccup in the plan

You're walking down the hallway when all of a sudden a dark blue blur whizzes under your legs, nearly tripping you up.

"Moonie, what have I tol--"

The rest of what you were going to say is cut off by Moonie's hiccup. She's currently pouring herself a glass of water and before she goes to take a drink, you speak up.

"You're supposed to do it backwards."

Your statement brings a clear confusion to Moonie's face as she tries to unravel your mystery. She goes to take a sip in a few different ways but pulls back each time to try and figure out how you meant it. Moonie looks up at you and you nod. Then she takes a sip from the top part of the glass rim, allowing all the water to run down her neck and onto the floor.

"Clean up your mess," you say with a grin.

"M-My mess? You said to *hic* to *hic* to drink the thing in reverse."

"Reverse, not upside down," you reply as you hand her the mop.

She hiccups once more then takes the mop to clean up as she grunts in frustration.

"And for the record, those remedies are all a load of crap."

"What about holding your breath?"

"Not true."

"Sucking *hic* a lemon?"

"False."

"Getting surprised?"

"Doesn't work. None of them do. Hiccups are a type of spasm, the only thing you can really do is take steady breathes and wait it out."

"It's been going for a *hic* while now and it's starting to hurt."

"Well, there is one thing that might work."

"What?"

"It's risky," you mischievously grin as you reply.

Your toothy smile sets her back but another hiccup hardens her resolve.

"I'll do it," She nods and you lunge at her.

Moonie hasn't got a chance to react, you scoop her up with one hand and tickle her belly with the other. The wriggling, laughter, writhing, and gasps of air begin at once with the occasional hiccup. Her face looks like it's about to lose the jaw with how broadly she smiles while giggling which makes you smile too.

"Can't... Breathe... STOP!"

"What's the magic word?"

"PLEASE?!"

With that, you let her free and she leaps out to gasp for air. There's a moments pause as you both wait for her recuperate, then she looks up at you with a glint of hope.

"D-Did it work?"

"It's been a little while since you--"

"DON'T! You'll jinx it," she protests, flailing her hooves as if she could somehow smother the noise coming from your mouth. If only the height different didn't come into play so often here.

"Oh, come on. Really?"

"It's been proven, jinx's are real--"

"Hiccup."

As if to prove her words, a loud hiccup erupts from Moonie leaving her to glare at you in that, "I told you so," kind of way.

"There's only one thing to do then."

You turn to the side and put on a very grim face.

"W-What?" Moonie asks in a concerned tone.

Then you turn back to her, slowly smiling as you crouch. She backs up a touch.

"Hugs and kisses until you feel better," you bellow with arms outstretched.

With a scream of absolute terror, Moonie takes off with a speed she's never reached before. You give chase but she loses you real quick.

"Moonie?" You call out as you creep up the hallway, checking each room you pass.

You step into your room for a hiccup reveals her to be hiding under your bed. She knows she's caught and tried to make a dash for it. You're fast enough to scoop her up but not enough to get a firm grip, she manages to squirm out and darts out of eyesight again.

This time she stays hidden, you search for a solid ten to twenty minutes to no avail so you decide enough is enough.

"Moonie it's been well over ten minutes and you haven't hiccuped."

Suddenly the towel closet bursts open, both Moonie and all the towels fall to the floor with a cheer. You smile at her then put all the towels back with her help.

"Thanks," she warmly states, "Heh, you really scared me back there. I thought I was done for."

"Any time," you reply as you place the final towel back.

It's a nice little moment that you decide to ruin by pulling her into a hug and making kissing noises near her face. She uses a towel to try and beat you away from her while screaming but it's no use. You plant a light one on her cheek and walk away as she pretends to dry heave.

50 The Test [Chapter 50 & 50k Word Special]

Author's Note

Well, first things first, sorry for taking this long to update. I've never been capable of quickly writing something of length unless the due date was the night before. That being said, I've finally done it. I've managed to be a blight upon both the literacy world and the precious time of all who have read this for the 50 chapters, for the sum-total of 50k+ words I've put up here.
I figured I'd do something to celebrate the milestone in a sense, but there's not much I can do really aside from just posting a story and saying hi in the author's notes.

So, G'Day. I'd like to thank you all for reading all this. It has been a fun for me ride thus far, so I hope it has been for you all too. This honestly started as a way to pass my own time. That being said, me continuing this past-time has always hinged on whether people enjoy it or not, plus I've always enjoyed your comments on my stories, good or bad, or something unrelated. Everything from a full fleshed out review to a simple, "so cute," ideas, jokes, ideas, suggestions, stories, etc. is something I've found to be encouraging and warming.

If you guys can keep that up, then in return I'll try my absolute best to find those brief moments of that partial sobriety I find that spurs the brain enough to write a story while also urging me to click submit without proofing.

Take care of yourselves.

Also, AnonPencil wrote a Moonie story semi-recently. Go check it out, I thought it was sweet and cute, in a devilish kind of way. Plus it gave me a good laugh, so I'd recommend giving it a read.

On top of that, if any of you wrote something Moonie inspired/featuring then do chuck me a link.

50 The Test [Chapter 50 & 50k Word Special]

"Hey, Anon. How are you?"

The little dragons calls from his balancing act upon a large stack of books, chairs, and other assorted items that are teetering back and forth. It seems Spike has dared to make that tower just to hang up a welcoming banner despite that it looks like the lightest breeze could bring the whole pile down and him with it. Before you think to reply you scoop up the lizard and place him on the ground before placing the banner yourself.

"There's how many unicorns or pegasi around, why'd you have to go try and do it yourself?"

"It's part of the dragon code of honour."

"Dragons don't ask for help when they can't do something?"

"No, dragons complete any and all tasks they were given, no matter the hardship."

He proudly puffs up his chest in a triumphant pose. You want to explain to him how stupid he is but you recall getting a massive migraine last time you attempted something that. Instead, you swiftly changed subjects.

"So, when do the princesses arrive?"

"Around noon, I think."

You nod and stand there, unsure of what to say next. You've never really had the chance to get to know Spike before. And part of you wants to but the other part of you has noticed Pinkie alongside Twilight and thinks that'd be a much better way to pass time.

"Alright, I'll catch you later Spike.”

"Oh? Uh, yeah. Later Anon!"

He gives a small and disheartened wave as you leave.

It's been a little while since you've seen Pinkie what with your new job and all.

"PINKIE," you excitedly bellow.

She spins around and stands on her hind legs while sternly squinting at you. Her fore hooves hover around her waist, reminding you of more than a few old cowboy westerns.

"You've got a lot of nerve showin' yer mug round these parts. Anon," sounding more southern than the entire Apple family combined.

Her voice is coarse and hardy, again reminding you of westerns. But the thing is, her tone also has you on edge because you can't really think of a time where Pinkie even jokingly tried to be serious around you. She's always giggly and bubbly when you're around. Or when anyone is around as far as you're aware of.

"What did I do?" you chuckled, nervously looking around for some kind of clue or out.

"No more talk. On three, ya hear?"

"On three what?"

"Two."

She knuckles down slightly, readying herself for whatever she's about to send your way. You’ve never seen Pinkie mad before, in fact you’ve kind of thought her incapable of it but now that you see her so tense, you’ve begun to experience a new kind of dread.

"One."

The counting doesn’t help the nerves either. She drops down and you recognise the stance she’s making.

"Pink," is all you can muster before she charges into you like a cannon ball, knocking the wind and your senses right out of you.

Your entire torso lets out a scream as the fuzzy little ball hits harder than one could imagine while sending the two of you fly for a solid few metres, rolling and tumbling together as Pinkie's grip tightens around you. Once you come to a stop, Pinkie leaps up and lets out a cheer.

"WEEEEEE! That was so much fun, want to go again?"

She hunches down like an excited puppy, her eyes brightly shine as her tail wags. There's a temporary lapse in your judgement as you consider the idea but your common sense returns before it’s too late.

"Another time. Perhaps with more of a warning."

"Oh… No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough with you, old man," she answers seemingly apologetic at first but her cheeky grin and tone shines through at the end.

"Woah! Old man? I've yet to get my first grey hair," you defensively shout as you point to your head.

"How can you tell? You always shave it," she curiously replies with a tilt of the head.

"Exactly!"

She giggles while helping you to your feet, then you both take a seat beside one another.

"How old DO humans live for anyway?"

"You knock the stuffing out of me like that ever again and you may never find out."

Then the two of you spend the next little while catching up. Pinkie talks about all her parties she’s thrown, how all the folks in town are and the cakes, as well as a few adventures she’s gotten up to with her group of friends while you just tell her Moonie stories. Part of you feels bad that it’s all you’ve got to talk about, especially when she leads such an interesting life in comparison. You want to claim that Moonie is just a handful like you always do, but you know it’s because you just haven’t really gotten yourself much of a social life since her arrival in your world. Then again, you can’t really admit to having one before her either.

”Anonymous. Pinkie. How are we today?” Twilight injects herself into the conversation as she looks over her checklist for who knows what time this would be.

“Hey Twi’. When are the princesses meant to get here?”
Twilight looks up from her checklist and pauses as her mind seems to collect itself.

”Any minute now,’ she goes back to her list then a thought brings her back to you, “Are you and Moonie handling it alright so far?”

“Yeah, of course... Why do you ask?”

”Well--”

”I HAVEN’T FINISHED MY STORY!”

Twilight apologetically smiles at you then sits quietly so Pinkie can finish her grand tale of the time she and her friends helped some distant land find the friendship they needed all along that you faded out of part way through. There’s something about Minotaur now plus griffins when you tune back in, so you have no idea how she’s gotten to this part.

As Pinkie Pie continues to talk about, your eyes wander around until they find Moonie across the way from you. She can be seen playing in the park with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. According to Moonie the two have reformed in some capacity, or at least DT did and Silver Spoon mimicked by making up to the other kids and ceasing their bullying for the most part. The three of them all get up to a lot of “pranks” but you’re sure it’s just a part of them that are unable to kick old habits.

”THEY’RE HERE,” shrieks a colt from somewhere in the crowd.

The ponies all gather around making it impossible to see from your seat on the grass. A little disgruntled at having to be active, you rise to look over all the mares and stallions as they all cheer and excitedly hop around as the Princesses leave their golden chariot. Princess Celestia and Luna naturally tower over the ponies too so your eyes meet with theirs. You smile and wave while they give a nod of acknowledgement. There’s plenty of ponies swarming around hoping to greet the royals personally, so a nod is all you’ll get right now.

Deciding there’s little reason to wait around and watch the Princesses greet everyone individually, you head over to where you last saw Moonie. As you try to track her down, you find yourself wondering if any kings or queens back on Earth dedicated time to trying to be as gracious to every individual as the Princesses here do.

“Hello Anon,” Moonie coos as you approach.

“What have you done?”

She just laughs in response before falling silent.

“Moonie?”

“Wait, that wasn’t a bit?”

“No.”

“I… Am shocked… And appalled that you…My caretaker and most TRUSTED confidant don’t trust me,” she replies as she does her best to seem hurt but you’ve never fallen for that.

“Where are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

“Tied up in that tree,” she confesses alongside a giggle.

With a shake of the head, you walk over to the little tree. It’d be kind of tall for a pony but considering your height, this is easy. Pushing apart the foliage you see two pony shaped objects tied to the trunk of the tree.

“Hey you two, let me get you out of there,” you call out as you pull the closest rope.

Then your attention snaps behind you as you hear three victorious cackles. You catch a glimpse of blue, pink and grey as you are thrown around and upward into the tree. Somehow, you are now upside down beside the two stuffed pillowcases that are shaped like fillies. The cackling doesn’t end, it instead grows into a raucous chorus of laughter as the three send a barrage of water balloons your way. Autumn has only recently begun so it’s not like this is a bad thing, but damn are they getting you good.

“Surrender,” squeals Silver Spoon.

“I can’t believe he fell for it,” jeers Diamond Tiara.

“Keep going,” Moonie eggs.

Then, around the base of the tree, you hear a creak as it gives way for weight. You land on your head but it doesn’t really hurt as you were only a few centimetres above the ground to begin with. There’s a laughter inside you that is begging for revenge, so badly that as you get up and chase the little hellions you don’t bother to untie the tree. The leaves are dragging on the ground and making it hard for you to run, but those cute little stumps these fillies call legs aren’t able to outrun you no matter how fast they scamper or whatever weighs you down. You feel as strong as the titan Atlas through comparison, holding the weight of the world as you try to exact your petty revenge on three fillies.

“Got you,” you bellow as you scoop up Silver Spoon, the slowest.

“No, please, they made me--”

“It’s too late,” you wide-eyedly cackle.

You pick up some of the water balloons that were sitting in their bucket nearby and rub them into her face so hard that they pop. Silver squeals and squirms as she becomes soaked.

You let her off easy, she is the third wheel plus the other two might get away if you dawdle too much on one filly. So you release her and begin the chase all over again. Diamond Tiara never got far, so you begin to pelt her with a few water balloons. One of them hits the grass under her, causing it to be slippery enough for her to fall. That was unintended but it was such a good shot and seeing DT flail about mid-air has filled you with a sense of pride.

“MERCY,” she pleads, but all you feel is barren inside as you drop the remaining water balloons on her. Save for one.

Just for good measure, you tickle her some.

“NO! STOP... I’ll tell my--DADDY!”

“Apologise!”

“I’LL PAY YOU!”

She wriggles and desperately tries to flee like you’ve never seen someone do before. You can hear her gasps for air fail as the laughter is endless. It’s kind of infectious.

“Coins won’t help you,” you laugh.

“I’m--”

“What was that?”

“STOP!”

“What were you going to say?”

“STO--SORRY!”

Without a moment to lose you dart off, leaving Diamond Tiara to finally catch her breath. Moonie has hidden behind a tree, and a faint bit of her flowing tail is what gave her away. Tired and out of breath yourself, you lean on the tree while you surprise her. She lets out a scream just as this tree also gives way under your weight. It was tiny and frail, so it’s no surprise.

“You fool,” the little nightmare boasts as you fall and she flees.

You pushed yourself too much too quickly, you’re too worn out to give chase right away. So you lie there. Moonie comes over to you with a hop and skip, bragging as she throws another water balloon at you. So you fire your final one back at her, sailing right over her head.

“HA! I expect more of a sport from you, grandpa. How dare you let your queen down like this.”

“I know where you live,” you exhaustingly utter

“How is that a thre--”

“I also make your food,” you say with a sly grin.

Moonie climbs up onto your chest. You thought she was about to give a triumphant pose, gloat, or something, but instead she puts her ear to your chest.

“I knew it,” she whispers.

“What?”

“There’s… Nothing... Only the cold winds of winter.”

“Oh, I’m the heartless one?” you snicker as you ask.

You’re halfway through picking yourself off the floor when you notice Princess Luna looking at you with wild bewilderment. Not that you can’t understand why. There’s a tree tied upside down to your back, another broken tree to your side, with two fillies exhausted as well as soaking wet.

“This… Is... exactly what it looks like,” you state with a glowing smile.

“How did three fillies get the jump on you?”

Using her magic, Luna helps lift you to your feet then frees you from the tree.

“They took advantage of my kind-hearted nature.”

“Oh, when did you get one of those?” She cheekily giggles.

You clutch your chest and feign being wounded which elicits another laugh from the Princess.

“Ugh,” Moonie dry retches, “I think I’m actually going to help my failed minions.”

Moonie darts away, in the opposite direction of Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. Then Luna’s face relaxes into a more serious one before she speaks in her regal aura.

“Unfortunately we are here formally.”

“Life of a princess never stops it seems,” you sigh.

“I am afraid so… My sister and I would like to request an audience with you later this evening to discuss a few matters with you.”

“I look forward to it,” you smile, half expectantly.

“Thank you, we won’t be able to stay long,” she nods, “Thus we will leave you to the events of the day.”

Before she goes, she gestures her head to the nearby hiding location of Moonie. You smile and wait a while as the Princess leaves. While you try to give as few clues at first while you head in her direction, you break the farce as you madly dash at Moonie. There’s a sudden shriek as you tower over her. While Moonie does her best to scamper away, you scoop her up. If there’s one thing you’ve proven over the years and especially more so today, it’s that fillies have no hope in fleeing from you unless you want them to.

“It was all Silver Spoon’s idea,” horridly lies Moonie.

You don’t listen to excuses, instead you warmly cuddle her and give her some kisses on the cheek. She making some dry retching sounds and tries to push your face away but you’re not letting her. Plus you spy the tiniest smile on her face as she fights back a joyous giggle.

“Aww, who is my widdle mischievous demon?”

Your voice is as sickenly cute as you can manage.

“Oh, please no,” she screams, the hint of joy still lingers.

By now Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara have long since caught their breath, they were just watching to see Moonie’s punishment. Moonie realises they're still there once they giggle to themselves and it sends her into a panic. All her strength, even her magic, goes into trying to pry herself loose.

“Moonie, my widdle Moonie. You’re hurt. Stay, have some kisses to make it all better.”

Now she has begun to plead while continuing the struggle, so you offer some loud smooching sounds as she tries to fight you off. The more she struggles though, the more you turn up the embarrassment which leads to more laughter from you, which in turn spurs on Moonie’s desperation for freedom. A viscous cycle that you continue for a while, then you leave her be with her friends to pile on the harassment. Her face has lost all hint of being that midnight blue, instead her blush has made her as bright red as a rose or tomato.

“Adorable,” your breathlessly mutter under your breath as you leave the park.

You wander around the square, taking in the sights of the fair the residents of Ponyville have put on for their beloved Princesses. You can still see the Princesses talking to an endless line of ponies. It makes you wonder how Luna managed to slip away long enough to speak with you, even if it was brief and formally.

“Cider?”

The stall beside you has a green elderly mare giving you a toothless smile.

“Hey Granny. How are you?”

Placing a few bits in her hoof, she passes a mug your way. You’re not really thirsty, but you felt an impulse of obligation as you wandered near the stall.

“Good. How are you faring today?”

“Heh, that’s not a bad one.”

“How would you know, you haven’t taken a sip yet.”

“No--I was talking about… the fair joke.”

You examine her with a curious eye as you try to decipher if she did do that joke intentionally or if she’s doing that senile bit. She smiles at you warmly, giving no clues as per usual. Normally you wouldn’t be suspicious of an elderly person being crazy but Granny has proven time again to be one of the sharpest ponies in this town. Despite her age. However reading a pony’s facial expression is something you’ve still yet to get the hang of, you’re not convinced that she’s the senile type with few rare moments of clarity.

“Well?”

You take a quick squiz of your cider. The soothing liquid cools your throat and tickles your tastebuds with that crisp apple flavour. The heavy carbonation and fiz catches part way down, causing you to release a small burp but even that’s a pleasurable feeling as it feels like it released a knot in your gut. The aftertaste of crisp apple and yeast tickles and dances within your mouth, inviting more the the splendour in this mug.

“Great as always.”

“I meant your day, how have you been Anon? ... You’re not going senile on me are ya?”

“Not that age yet, thankfully.”

“Good, what with you being human, nopony can tell if it’s time or not,” she replies then pauses before speaking once again in an offended tone, “But there’s nothing wrong with going old.”

She swats at you so you reel backwards enough to make her miss.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.”

“Besides, I’ve got plenty of years in me yet.”

“Oh, so do I deary,” she remarks with a wink.

“No, I mean it. Humans live to be twice as long as me. I’ve actually got time.”

Granny eyes you for a moment, then smacks her lips a little as the conversation falls silent.

“Well?” She suddenly asks impatiently.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m good. You?” you answer as you take another drink.

“What? Oh… I’m good too but enough about me, what about you?”

“Good,” you awkwardly repeat.

Again you eye her to gauge if she’s really sane or senile. It’s so damn hard to tell.

“No, I’m asking about you. If you’ve found yourself a special somepony yet.”

“Heh, I don’t really--”

“Because it’s not good to be all alone, everypony needs a somepony.”

“I know--”

“I’ll tell you a secret. Applejack still hasn’t found herself a special somepony yet.”

“That’s awfully nice of you, to try and suggest but--”

“The two of you would be perfect for one another. Plus a big strong man like yourself would be a massive help around the farm. AJ and Mac can only do so much you see.”

“Sounds like you’re more interested in a spare hands on the farm. Still, I’ve--”

“How’s this weekend sound for you? Oh, I’ve got this old thing of mine that’d be just perfect for Applejack.”

“I really can’t--”

“Great! I’ll pass the great news onto--”

Finally she’s interrupted by a large red stallion who sternly towers over her.

“Oh, Big Mac. You’re just in time, Anon here is planning on asking AJ’s hoof in marriage. The kind dear was just asking for permission, weren’t ya Anon?”

She looks up at you, hopeful. You’re only capable of looking at the two apple ponies in pure terror as you try to recall which part of the conversation lead to marriage, but then Big Mac’s huffing at Granny grabs your attention.

“Fine.. I’ll stop me dang meddlin’.”

Mac looks to you and nods. You nod back in understanding, the kind of understanding two bros have when they feel each other’s needs on a deep level. He sure saved you from being reeled into his family against your will plus not being able to get a word in is always irritating to no end. So rather than risk waiting around for granny to try round two of her conscription, you head off for something else to do.

There’s things like drinks, food, and a few small rides like sitting in the back of a wagon. None of it really takes your fancy. Not that you’d fit in a single one even if they did. So you wander around aimlessly without a thought or care. That is, until you bump into a princess.

“Careful dear--Oh, Anonymous. How are you on this fine day?” Celestia smiles warmly.

You know she controls the sun, but it’s still strange how warmly inviting her entire demeanor is.

“Heya Princess, I’m well. How are you?”

“Wonderful. It’s so nice seeing all everyone here enjoying a day they’ve worked hard for, is it not?”

You look over the square and see some foals are enjoying a quiet cart ride while the adults are happily smiling as they eat, drink, and talk amongst themselves. Naturally there are some who are working stalls and things, but even they are chatting away and enjoying a treat or two.

“They all seem pretty content with the day.”

“Indeed.”

“I’m surprised to find you without the swarm of subjects trying to garner your attention.”

“Yes, well everyone is enjoying the fair for now. We’ll all speak again later, I’m sure of that,” she lightly chuffles.

“So, what is it you and Luna wanted to speak with me about? She said you’ll go into it this afternoon, but I’ve really got nothing to do until then anyway.”

“Well… It’s about... Moonie.”

“You two of you haven’t been here for an hour yet,” you state with a long sigh.

“Oh, she hasn’t done anything wrong if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s great… Then, uh, what about her?”

“My sister and I thought it to be a good idea to test Moonie, in order to see how well she has reformed under your care.”

“Well, she hasn’t tried the world domination thing in a while. That’s gotta be good, right?” You nod.

Celestia lightly chuckles and smiles at you.

“True. There’s no doubt she’s reformed, but we were curious about how far she has come in that regard.”

You nod in response for a little before you question her. There’s something about Celestia’s air, like she’s of royalty but not quite that way in particular that prevents you from talking. Then again, there’s some aura she’s always giving off that makes it uncomfortable whenever you have any type of question for her. You can’t really relax, especially in a formal setting when talking with her about something serious.

“Why?”

“Despite... her history, she is royalty. Like Luna and myself. And as a princess--”

“Don’t let her hear you say that.”

“Hmm, why is that? If I may ask.”

Your sudden remark catches her and she looks with you with genuine bewilderment. Which you find calming to see the usual poised demeanor falter, even for a moment.

“She prefers queen,” you smile.

“Ah, yes,” Celestia laughs softly as she returns to being composed, “Either way, we thought it best to test her... I hope that’s alright?”

“Of course, just… I’m still wondering why. Are you going to need her to rule or something? You two are immortal I though. So why does it matter that she’s royalty?”

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I think I should spend some more time with my subjects and you, yours but we can talk more about the matter later if you wish.”

“Sure… Let me know how the test goes,” you reply rather casually.

And with that and a low bow, Celestia heads off into the crowd to mingle. Even when she’s disappeared, you find yourself unable to think of how you to respond to any of her words. There’s something nagging at you that you should protest her but you don’t quite understand that feeling. Why would it be a bad thing to see how well Moonie has reformed? Perhaps it’s just a nagging feeling of what the punishment might be if Moonie doesn’t meet the standards, but that doesn’t feel right either. All you can think to do right now is to find Moonie.

It’s not a surprise at all to find Moonie in the middle of terrorising a pair of colts.

“Hurry it up you feeble twi--”

“Moonie,” you bark, startling all three of them.

“This isn’t wasn’t it looks like, I swear!”

“Oh, really? We’re going to have a few words so you two can clear off.”

The two colts look at each other then at Moonie. But they don’t seem to be checking if it’s okay, they instead seem almost annoyed.

“Moonie, this wasn’t part of the game.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, that’s because he doesn’t--”

“AH-HAA! Your tyranny has finally come to an end--Woah, hey Anon,” chirps Sweetie Belle as Scootaloo and Applebloom dart out from a nearby bush alongside in superhero costumes.

“A game?”

“Well, I do excel in playing the part of the villain above all else,” Moonie states in a matter of fact kind of way.

“Yeah, until your pops ruined it,” one colt mutters as the other ribs him for his remark.

The two boys smile innocently at you while the Crusaders wait for some kind of cue on what to do, and Moonie looks up at you for a similar cue.

“Moonie and I really do need to talk, so come with me please. I hear Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are good at playing villains too.”

The fillies are all sorrow-stricken until your comment. Then they excitedly light up as they realise their game doesn’t have to end yet before darting off in different directions.

“I didn’t DO anything wrong this time.”

“Yeah, but you might have.”

“Come one. It was just a game.”

“No, I mean… Look, the princesses have ulterior motives for being here.”

“Well. That’s kind of their job you know.”

You hesitate before you speak further. Naturally you feel a voice of reason saying not to notify her. Normally you’d ignore her and just try to steer her onto the right path but being the impulsive little bastard that you are, there’s that voice that feels particularly sobering.

“I just mean… The princesses are always trying to keep an eye on you. I don’t want them thinking you’re still the same old demon they once knew.”

“It’s not like they don’t have good reason,” she mutters lowly.

“Don’t murmur like that. Speak clearly or not at all.”

“I said, you’re being paranoid. It was a game.”

“I know now, it just didn’t seem that way. I’m sorry.”

“Very well. I accept your apology,” she huffs up as if she is doing her duty in taking the higher road, “However, if you are truly repentant you would buy your queen some kind of confectionery as a token of apology.”

For a brief moment, her eyes dart towards a sweets cart. You’re not an idiot, you know it’s a clue for exactly what she wants but her over-the-top nature has a bizarre way of putting you in a good mood. So you go and buy a little bag of candy and hand it to her. While you tell her to share it before she happily skips away, you have no confidence that she will.

So now you’re alone again. The fair is rather small and you feel you’ve seen all there is to see. It seems like the best option for now is to retreat into your house, and take it easy until later in the afternoon. You can already tell the wait is going to wreak havoc on your nerves but you push those thoughts aside as best as you can until that time comes. Once you step inside, you slink into your couch, it’s padded leather cushions sink low inviting you into slumber.

Your nap is brief as Moonie comes darting inside, tracking mud through the house. She’s made her way to the bath and dives in soon after getting the water running from what you can hear. You wait where you are for a time, hoping she’ll be responsible enough to clean after herself without reminders. But after the bath water has drained, you hear doors closing then silence. Figuring she’s retreated into her room you stamp up the hallway to find her standing there with the mop in her floating grip.

“I know,” she states before you even open your mouth.

You hover over her as she mops up the now hardening mud hoofprints. Clearly that seems to make her grumpier than she already was.

“What were you up to?”

“Just playing,” she dismissively grunts.

“What’s--”

“Door,” she states before there’s a brief knock at the front door.

You open the door to see Luna standing there, you also happen to notice your nap took longer than you thought as it’s now night time. The princess seems rather caught off guard briefly but composes herself into a warming smile. You smile back at her, just as fondly as you find yourself staring at her. Her coat matches the blanket of the night sky and her mane seems to glitter and twinkle just as brightly as the stars above. Then you notice a bit of mud on her tail that snaps you back to reality.

“So… Is the test over already?”

Luna nods, as Moonie takes the cue from your quick glance towards her to step into her room. Then you step aside and hold out an arm to gesture inviting Luna in.

“It’s been quite some time since I’ve been here,” she states, sounding almost wistful.

She draws a deep breathe as you think over a few responses that’d be the most welcoming. But you keep your mouth shut for a fear of stuttering. You’re not sure what to say. It’s not like you see either Princess often, let alone Luna but you also need to know about the test.

“My Sister and I didn’t really have much of a test for her to be honest. It was just a few questions, which was rather... enlightening.”

“Did she pass?”

Your voice catches as you ask, the words feeling almost acidic as they leave your lips.

“Yes, for the most part. We wanted to tell you, we think she’ll be better off staying here with you as long as you’re still willing to be her caretaker” her eyes meet with yours and while you try avoiding direct eye contact, you can tell she’s deeply looking into yours with a lot of intent behind every word, “You’ve been a great influence on her.”

“Thanks… It hasn’t been easy sometimes.”

“And for that, you have our thanks. We can’t stay long, there’s some minotaur and griffin delegates arriving in the morning but I wanted to at least deliver this news.”

You nod, not wanting to make things more of a pain than they already might be for her.

“What was the plan then?” You formally ask.

“I believe you already clued in when talking with my sister earlier. Moonie is not quite ready for that, she still has much to learn... But she has made more progress than we thought she would at first.”

“So… One day you two are--?”

“One day. But not today.”

Her words feel like a massive weight is lifted from your shoulders, yet you can’t help but feel a little pensive. In a hurry, Luna takes her leave without a word. As she walks past you, you feel a brush along your arm which grabs your attention. She smiles at you warmly then nods goodbye, which you return. You stand outside your house for a while as you watch her fly away, even when she’s out of sight you still stand there gazing up at the sky.

“What’s with the goofy smile?”

Moonie has appeared next to you, looking up at you curiously with a raised brow.

“I just found out you’re going to be my problem for a good while longer,” you remark, being dramatically sad.

“I failed, huh?”

“Depends on how you look at it.”

“How should I look at it?”

“Either you failed because they think I can still be a good influence on you or you passed flying under their notice and don’t have to live with them watching over you.”

She shudders, “Celestia would probably make me call her Auntie.”

“And you’d have to be up for a certain time for breakfast,” you jeer, “using the proper fork out of fourteen to eat soup, never to see another pancake again.”

“Oh, yes, and I’d have to bow to everyone.”

“Don’t forget the misters and madams.”

“Mister Anon,” Moonie mockingly bows.

“Madam Moonie,” you bow with a stifled giggle.

Moonie chuckles a bit herself then looks up at you with a serious gaze.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you feel about this, still having to care for me and all?”

You take a brief moment to ponder that question then take a deep breathe to speak.

"They say that when a star goes out, you can see its light for millions, even billions of years. I think the same can be said of the light I've brought you. You'll always have that little bit sweetness that I brought you, and you're welcome for it."

She dry retches at your shoes. You know she’s faking it but you reel back anyway in surprise.

“That’s so sickenly--”

“Sweet? Sappy? Cute?”

“Please don’t, I’m going to be sick again.”

“I’ll show you sappy,” you bellow and you scoop her up into your arm and make kissing noises.

She tries to fight you off, keep your face away from her but you blow a raspberry on her belly that gets a laugh out of her and her strength fades enough for you to plant a kiss on her cheek. She giggles and protests but it’s all a farce, you know this little devil enjoys every minute of this. And you do too.

51 Tricky Lessons

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52 The General Antics of Moonie and Anonymous the Human, now with Trixie

"Moonie," you cry out in a rushed tone for what must be the fifth time.

"What?" groans a tired Moonie as she finally opens her door.

"Come on, you're late for school."

You smile as you admire the ragged bed mane and eyes that droop low enough to have weights attached to them. She lets out an irritated moan of protest but you just interrupt her in the cheeriest tone possible.

"Come on slow coach, rise and shine! It's a wonderful day."

"I loathe and despise everything about you right now."

"I'll get you some breakfast."

You keep checking in on her, per the usual routine for the mornings before school. You help brush her mane, check her bag three times to ensure she's not sneaking something she shouldn't, and get her to pick up her tired feet enough to step out the door.

"Hang on," you state before the two of you leave the house.

"All that checking on me and you're the one who forgot something," Moonie laughs mockingly.

"Yeah... I thought so.... It's a Sunday."

You're about to let out a hearty chuckle when you feel the weight of a filly's school bag getting lobbed at your head.

It's late at night when you're woken by the sound of bashing and stuff being thrown. Your sleep addled figures it's the neighbours having a spat and you try to return to sleep.

"Get away from Trixie's wagon," a choked shout echoes as a flare lights up your windows.

You dart to your feet as you recall you have no neighbours, living so close to the Everfree. In the dark you can see three silhouettes.

"OI!" You angrily bellow.

Your presence is enough to scare the two vandals off as one flies off and the other runs off into the night. You give chase for a few metres until you're sure they won't be turning back then you hastily return to check out the damage. Trixie casts a spell to emit light from her horn as the two of you stare at her wagon. You only heard a few hits but they sure did a number. Two wheels are shattered, part of the roof is caving in, and the front wall is shattered.

"My..." Trixie catches herself, but it's clear she's emotional.

"What is wrong with people?"

You lift up a few pieces of debris and throw them under the wagon so there's not wood everywhere but Trixie continues to stand back.

"Trixie deserves this."

"Nobody deserves this."

"Last time Trixie was here, she did some awful things to the people here--"

"HEY!" Moonie exclaims from her bedroom window, "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Then get into bed, now!" You shout back in your 'parent' voice.

"Trixie is sorry. She should have told you earlier about this. Trixie had no idea ponies would go this far."

"We'll talk about it later. For now, you can sleep on the couch, there's no way I'm letting you camp out in that now."

You point to the wagon that's now rocking from the howling wind of the night then lead Trixie inside.

"Anonymous, can we talk?" Moonie wakes you in adult tone.

She leaps down from your chest and leads you into the lounge room where Trixie is still sleeping it.

"It's... inside," she harshly whispers.

"Yeah, two ponies wrecked up her wagon last night so I'm letting her stay inside for a while."

"Is it toilet trained?"

"Wake her up and I'll fix us all breakfast," you sigh.

Moonie walks over, lifting a cushion from a nearby chair with her magic and pelting the shocked and sleepy Trixie with it.

"Good Morning, and welcome," Moonie devilishly beams.

You're taking a moment to laze about on the couch. Well, that's what you were doing an hour ago. Then Trixie took a seat, you offered some tea before getting swept up into conversation. It's probably a good idea anyway, you should get to know the mare who will be teaching your little menace magic. Mainly, she fills you in on her history with this town and its residents.

"Fair enough," you nonchalantly reply.

"That's it? Trixie enslaved people of this town, forced them to submit to her will, and humiliated them."

You point to Moonie who wanders into the room. Trixie nods suddenly as if suddenly it all connects.

"If you don't mind Trixie asking--"

"What?" Moonie defensively asks when she notices you pointing at her.

"Trixie was just filling me in on how she's not the only tyrant in this house hold," you jest.

"I--Wait, it's--He--" Trixie panics in reply, fumbling to breath and manage a sentence.

"Just Ponyville, right? Pfft, small time," Moonie huffs, "Anon here has enslaved an entire planet."

"Yeah, that was just a story I made for a bedtime story. I'm not the type to rule over the peasantry," you reply as you give your chubby 'dad' belly a pat.

Moonie's expression of pride shatters but she composes herself quickly.

"Heh, still. I enslaved a country, you really need to--"

Her comeback is interrupted by you boofing her on the head with the couch cushion that was under you.

"It smells like fart," Moonie shrieks as she sprints toward fresher air.

"Nice one, Trixie--has to leave," Trixie states as she tries to calmly walk away, only to hastily make a retreat too once her hooves hit the floor.

You just sit there for a while longer to enjoy the peace and the product of your temple.

"How goes the lesson?"

You look up from your paperwork when you notice Trixie step inside.

"Trixie is just grabbing a drink as she practices some basic spells. Moonie is learning... Adequately. Not as fast as Trixie did at her age."

"What, a thousand or more years?"

"What? Oh..."

"I know what you mean. Alright, I've got to finish these forms."

Trixie steps into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of water. She then walk around the lounge looking at all the decorations for something to do.

"You know the princesses?" she gasps.

Glancing over your shoulder you notice her staring at the painting of you beside the two princesses that Luna forcefully commissioned when you were titled the 'Human Delegate.' It was a pointless title that came with a small payment until you got yourself a place and a job. They had you all dressed up in this stupid getup some stallion sewed based on how you described the outfit you saw the Prince of England wear once.

"Yeah. First met them when I arrived here a long time ago. They like to check in on me and the terror out there to check all is well."

"Trixie has always wanted to meet them. It's her dream to perform at the Grand Galloping Gala."

"That's that ball they hold every year, right?"

"Ball? That ball?" She scoffs, "It's so much more than that, it's the biggest annual event in Canterlot."

"You sound like Rarity. Tell you what, you do a good job teaching Moonie and I'll put in a good word for you."

"Do... Do you actually have that much influence with the princesses?"

"I've known them for a long time," you shrug, "So maybe."

"What about that?"

She points to a misshapen pot with a painted hoof print on it.

"Moonie made it for me for fathers day once."

"Trixie cannot see her being so sweet."

"You're right. With Moonie, anything sweet comes with a lot of sour. I remember telling her when I saw it that I'll think of her every time I look at it. She smiles at me and says, you're going to think of me a lot then."

"Trixie doesn't get it."

"She put hoof prints everywhere, up and down the house. Took me all day to clean them all."

53 The Magnanimous and Magnificent Moonie

You sign off the letter for the princess and place it in an envelope before tucking it away into a draw when you hear someone stepping into your study.

“How goes work?” Trixie nonchalantly asks from the doorway.

“Just finished off the last few bits of paperwork, I’ll need to deliver them but that can wait. I thought I could sit in on your lesson with Moonie today.”

“W-Why? Do you think Trixie is... Somehow unable to teach?”

“Not at all, things seem to be going well. I just thought it’d be nice.”

“Do you think she’s up to something?” Trixie whispers, her head hanging low and eyes fixated on the hallway.

“She’s always up to something mischievous.”

You give a brief chuckle as you ruffle Trixie’s mane, who immediately backs away from you with an irritated glare.

“Very well, Trixie will permit you to sit in on the lesson if you promise never to do that again.”

Without a word, you follow her outside to her still broken wagon resting in your backyard. She’s arranged some of her things outside, various props and tools for her performances. The kind of things you’d expect a magician to have, boxes, hats, rings, canon, and so on. Moonie was already here, giddily hopping on the spot and generally being positive about the upcoming lesson.

“What’s he doing here?” Moonie sneers, still hopping.

“Behave,” you reply as you take a seat that’s out of the way.

Trixie clears her throat as she brings out a pony-sized box, “For today’s lesson we will try learning the disappearing trick.”

“This won’t somehow end up like the firework trick, will it?” You interrupt.

“Trixie does not need to explain herself to some slackjaw ape.”

Her nose points high in the air and for a moment you swear there is an actual cloud of superiority around her but then Moonie barks up.

“Hey, that ape is mine to verbally abuse,” Moonie states, trying to defend your honour in her own way you guess.

Teacher Trixie throws an unimpressed look your way so you give a quick signal of surrender before leaning back.

“Now, it’s a simple spell to cast. It works best if you cast a few extra things for flair like mist and glitter to really wow all the simple ponies in the crowd but we won’t worry about that for now.”

“I think I’ve got it. I was going over it last night.”

Just now is when you notice Moonie has massive bags under her eyes that have darkened pretty badly even compared to her usual colour. She must have been up real late. It’s great she’s enjoying this so much but you roll your eyes anyway as you know you’re going to have to set ground rules.

“Moonie is going to love that,” you mutter under your breath.

Trixie glances your way for a moment but quickly returns her gaze to Moonie who is pep-talking herself up.

“Are you sure you’ve got it? Trixie can demonstrate if it helps.”

“I’ve got it,” she confidently beams.

Moonie steps up to the box beside her teacher. It’s a large purple cube, that is exactly the right size for Trixie, decorated with blue and golden stars. Looks like most things in her possession really. Moonie steps inside and takes a deep breath as Trixie closes it behind her.

“Trixie will now count to five. One… Two… Three…”

A glow peeps out from the sides of the box followed by a strange fizzing sound that you’ve heard a few spells seem to make before.

“Four… Five!”

She thrusts open the box to reveal a dark blue mist flowing around Moonie.

“I need couple more seconds, hold on.”

Before Trixie can agree, the box is slammed shut.

“O-One,” Trixie nervously states as her eyes dart between you and the cube, “... Two… Three… Four… F--Five?!”

Once again the box is opened and the frustrated filly of flair is summoning fog and glitter but her horn sparks up like some kind of appliance shorting out.

“WHY!”

In a fit of frustration the mare of the night loses what little patience she has and begins to shake the box with her magic and flailing her hooves about. Or maybe she’s trying to kick, it’s a little hard to tell with Trixie now towering over her.

“Moonie,” Trixie sighs, “Your great and powerful mentor suggests only focusing on the teleportation spell. Save your energy.”

“But--”

“No. First you learn HOW to do a trick, then you learn how to sell it.”

Moonie is still in a huff but she retreats into the box, slamming it behind her. Trixie rolls her eyes then walks your way.

“Take your time,” she calls out to Moonie before speaking to you in a more hushed tone, “Trixie would like to know you’ve managed to deal with her for so long.”

“I’ve grown to like the cute little menace,” you shrug.

“Perhaps you should get your head checked,” she replies as she jokingly knocks her hoof on your forehead.

“It’s been… Oh, 3 years now, I think. I’ve gotten attached, I forget

“Regale Trixie with the story of how you two met some time,” she dismissively answers.

While Trixie has that ‘I don’t care attitude’ you can tell it’s the opposite. You’ve spent long enough with Moonie to read into things more. Trixie is always asking about you, Moonie, and your life surrounding. She’s incredibly curious about it but you figure this is as close as she’ll get to saying anything directly.

“I don’t mind.”

You catch her raising a brow and smirking ever so slightly as she stares at the box Moonie is still residing in. You know she’s still in there because of all the yelling coming from the box.

“I thought teleporting was a difficult spell or something… Or at least, Twilight is the only pony I’ve known to do it.”

“It is.”

“Then… Why have you got Moonie doing it? She clearly needs more training.”

“Trixie knows. But she has been adamant about doing something worthy of her unbridled immortal power,” she mocks, “So Trixie is going to teach her a lesson. She has been talking up her abilities and downplaying the difficulty of this spell.”

You spy a devilish grin on her as Moonie bursts out and just bellows out a roar. Moonie is clearly exhausted. Beads of sweat are flowing off her and her breath is quick. Using her magic she lifts up the box, it’s barely a centimetre off the ground when you stand up.

“Enough!”

Your voice isn’t angry or anything, you were just loud. And it was enough to startle Moonie, causing her to drop it and look over to you.

“Moonie, if you can’t do something then it means you need practice. Quit trying to--”

“I can do this--”

“No, you can’t... Not yet,” you reassure her, running your fingers through her mane once.

There’s a pause as nobody says a word. Now that you’re closer to her, you can hear exactly how heavy her breathing is. Trying to do teleportation is quite the strain it seems.

“Would you like a break?” Trixie states, finally breaking the silence.

“No,” Moonie huffs.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Here, let me try.”

“Anon, you… You can’t do magic,” Moonie points out.

Trixie’s face screws up as she tries to put together what you’re up to.

“Trix, go get Moonie some water.”

You wait a moment, once she’s inside you ask Moonie for the tools you need. Once she learns you’re out to throw Trixie for a loop, she hastily grabs what you need. After a short while, Trixie returns and gives a glass of water to Moonie as you step up onto a table.

“Greetings,” you boom in your best Trixie impression as you throw some shredded paper, “I, the awesome and almighty Anonymous, have decided to grace with backwater town with my magnificent presence to bring you awe with a sprinkle of wonder.”

“The pompous showboating is kind of annoying,” Trixie whispers to Moonie who giggles at the irony.

“Now you see me--”

You hold up a curtain from Trixie’s wagon in front of you so the audience can’t see you and shake it.

“Now you don’t!”

As you release the curtain, you dive backwards and under the table where you’ve placed an angled mirror to reflect the grass.

“HE CAN DO MAGIC!” Trixie leaps up.

Moonie immediately gives up the performance by bursting into a laughter that her sides will not recover from soon. She falls from her chair and her legs are in the air uncontrollably flailing about.

“Wh-What’s so funny? Trixie demands to know,” stomps Trixie.

You stand up from behind the mirror with a light chuckle. After you put the mirror aside a slight rose tint spreads on her cheeks as she begins to understand.

“She needed it.”

Moonie continues to laugh as Trixie works on regaining her composure. Which she does quickly, as you’d expect from a professional performer.

“You’ve given Trixie an idea. Can you teach her some of those… Tricks?”

“I only know a few, but sure,” you shrug.

“We can devise more if we need. In a world where ponies can disappear, these tricks aren’t needed but… They could add some very nice humour to Trixie’s performance. The crowds would eat it up. All she would need is an assistant to play the part of a fool in between Trixie’s real show.”

She turns to Moonie who is catching her breath as she pieces her sides together.

“What?” She obliviously asks.

“Trixie wants to know if you’d like to be a part of her show?”

54 Moonie's BFF Forever Trixie

“Wake up,” bellows a voice as a pillow bashes you awake, “We’re under attack!”

You jolt upright to catch both Moonie and Trixie adorning pirate outfits with cardboard swords held in magic as they stand atop your bed. Moonie naturally has the captain’s cap and a sleek blue coat while Trixie has an eye patch and cloth rags to make a tunic.

“What the—What are you two doing?”

“They’ve begun firing,” Moonie shouts as she starts ducking and weaving.

Trixie sees and timidly tries to imitate a few times but stops when she catches your stares.

“Not a word to any pony,” she harshly whispers.

While you make a mental note to find out how Moonie got her to agree to this, you decide the shower is where you’d like to head next. So you grab the blanket firmly and give it a mighty pull as you stand up.

“Captain overboard,” you shout as the two mares tumble onto the floor.

You tiredly fumble into your bathroom to brush your teeth. Moonie however isn’t about to give up her little game, so she darts in under your legs and calls out to Trixie. She bashfully walks in, avoiding eye contact as Moonie begins scaling you like a cat climbing a tree. You’re far too tired to make any movement let alone protest so you allow her to do her thing. Once she climbs up to your shoulder she looks out and surveys the bathroom.

“First Mare Trixie, get up here.”

“I… Trixie is not doing that,” she protests.

“Do ye want to walk the plank?”

She rolls her eyes and mutters under her breathe while Moonie looks at you impatiently. You shoot her an unimpressed look as you continue to brush but Moonie just beams back. Then just as Moonie commanded, Trixie begins trying to scale you. Normally when Moonie scales you, you shift your weight and lean to allow her an easier climb but you’re a little less than twice Trixie’s size. If she climbs up, you’d all likely take a tumble because you’re too tired to support that weight. So you don’t.

“This is harder than it looks,” Trixie pants as she reaches waist height before she falls, her ass making a loud thump as it hits tile.

“You’re the sorriest excuse for a first mare I ever saw, ya land lubber.”

You spit out the toothpaste.

“Ew, Anon, I’m right here.”

“Get out,” you flatly reply as you place her on the ground then shoo the two away.

Once they’re out, you hastily shut the door and lock it before you take that shower.

While you’re scrubbing down your bod, you can hear Moonie running amuck with the occasional shout of protest from Trixie. It doesn’t take long so you dry yourself off and get dressed for work. On the way out the door you notice the two slide past the hallway in what looked like Moonie in a knight’s armour and Trixie in a strange green monster costume. You have no idea where they’re getting these but with Nightmare Night coming up soon, you figure that side of things will be sorted.

You’re the first one to work so you open up, turn on the kettle for when the Mayor arrives and lay out some paperwork you’ve got to do today. Before long Mayor Mare steps in, her hair is a mess and there are suitcases hanging from her eyes.

“Morning,” you cheerily call out.

You’ve had time to wake up, plus the morning shower helped. Mayor Mare looks like you felt when your ‘wake up call’ went off.

“Good Morning Anonymous,” Mayor Mare yawns.

“Sleep much?”

“Full eight hours, and I still feel as dreary as if I got none.”

“Kettle is on, go make yourself a cup.”

“Thanks, you’re a dear Anon.”

“No problem.”

You file through your office draws for a form you need to copy and mail out when Mayor Mare steps in sipping away with a comforting smile.

“Ah, much better… So, how goes it at home? The two terrors are getting along, I hope?”

“Yeah, surprisingly well. Trixie isn’t as bad as what a few ponies were telling me.”

“Well, she’s not as bad as she once was. She has been here three times now. The first time she was here, she was just a braggart. Showing off her magic, boasting that she was better than any pony at anything. She made a fool of many stallions and mares before Twilight put her in her place.”

“That sounds like her. And the second time?”

Mayor Mare sighs and takes a deep drink before speaking, “When she was here last, she had this magic that made her as powerful as an alicorn. It was frightening seeing some of the things she could do, and she had total control over Ponyville. She even cast a shielding bubble over it, so none could leave or enter.”

“Yeah she told me about all that.”

“And you’re okay with that?” a concerned Mayor looks at you with a raised brow before she shakes her head, “Right. Look who I’m talking to. It wouldn’t surprise me if you suddenly invited Queen Chrysalis over for dinner one night.”
You shrug which elicits a small chuckle from the mare.

“And the third?”

“Well, she came here to apologise and even put on a show. It wasn’t too bad really, there was this death defying stunt she pulled that really wowed the crowd but it wasn’t enough for some ponies after what happened with her wagon.”

“Right.”

“I’m sure every pony will come around one day. They just need time. Plus, with her under your roof, folks will come to adore her in no time.”

You can't help but broadly smile at that. You know Moonie is a long way from where she used to be, but it’s nice to hear someone else mention that.

The rest of the work day is rather uneventful for you. A few forms, small talk with Mayor Mare and a few townsfolk, and watching the clock. The walk home however is much more eventful.

“Trixie,” you greet, stifling any and all laughter.

“Anonymous.”

“Moonie?”

She nods, “And Trixie would appreciate you not mentioning this ever again.”

“You’ve got to tell me what she has over you.”

“It’s… Trixie’s show. She says she won’t do it unless I listen to everything she says for an entire day.”

“That’s harsh. But, at least I get to see you like this.”

Trixie blushes while you admire the insanely pink dress she’s in. It’s like one of those ballroom gowns, the skirt is large and frilly and lacy and pink. Everything is pink. God, you cannot get over how pink this thing is.

“How silly does Trixie look in this?” She murmurs.

“Not at all, just out of place. And pink.”

“It’s so pink.”

“That’s an understatement. Never let Pinkie Pie near that thing, please.”

“Trixie intends to burn it later,” she violently grimaces.

“Good. No mare should have THAT much pink.”
Trixie chuckles slightly and takes a deep breath as she quickens her pace. You follow suit until you both get home.

“Moonie!”

“What,” she replies as she bursts up from between the couch cushions, Sir Bearington in tow.

“How goes the preparations for Trixie’s show? I can go over some of those tricks with you if you want before I have to start dinner.”

“Uh, I’m not sure if I’m doing that.”

“Why?” You ask, feigning ignorance.

“Stage fright.”

“I recall that school recital where you had the exact opposite of stage fright.”

“I got it from that. It was such a traumatic—Trixie told you, didn’t she?”

“Told me what?”

“What? I mean… Look at what she’s wearing, you didn’t question her for that?”

“She said she lost a bet,” you lie with as much conviction as possible.

Moonie eyes you, then Trixie. When she turns back to you, you notice she’s begun to worry.

“What’s going on?” You sternly ask.

“Nothing,” states Moonie, avoiding all eye contact.

“Out with it. Now.”

“UGH! I was… More or less, kind of but not really… blackmailing Trixie.”

“Explain,” you reply deadpan.

“I said if she didn’t do everything I told her to then I wouldn’t do it. I’m sorry Trixie. I have a pudding in the fridge, it’s yours.” Moonie hastily answers, then pauses as she waits for you to say something. You don’t and eventually the silence gets to her so she nervously starts up again, “I apologised, and made up for it! You’re not allowed to tell me off any more.”

“Oh, yes I am.”

Moonie sits and hangs her head, ready for a lecture or punishment.

“You’re going to do the show, and if you don’t do it properly then remember there will be a large crowd who will hear me cheering on my ‘missy moonie-smoochie-kins.’ Maybe even some of your friends will get an invite.”

Moonie’s eyes widen at the horror and you can hear Trixie dry retching as she fumbles her way out of the dress.

“Why? You’ve never even called me that before.” Moonie whispers.

“No one else knows that,” you slyly smile.

“Trixie, practice starts tomorrow.”

Moonie turns rapidly and retreats into her room. You turn back to Trixie who nods at you.

“How long did it take you to control her? Her wrath must have been havoc at first. Not even the great and powerful Trixie would be a match.”

“She had to control it herself. She couldn’t act out too badly otherwise the Princesses would hear about it but she did cause a world of mischief. So I get to tease her all I want. In the name of good.”

“Trixie would love to hear the story sometime.”

As you head into the kitchen, you pause from the thought then say, “Sure, sometime.”

55 Moondini

Tonight is the big night, where Moonie and Trixie will do the show they’ve been practising for. Trixie has been so excited for this with all the work she has put into this, and it has finally come to fruition.

“There you are Anonymous. Come one, your costume is ready.” Trixie states as she shoves you forward into the poorly fixed wagon sitting out in the town square.

“Woah, since when was I getting a costume?”

“Since I asked Rarity.”

Trixie gives one final shove, tripping you into a room alone where she slams the door behind you.

“5 minutes till showtime!” She squees.

Hooves can be heard scurrying away as you’re left to your own devices. You look over the costume as you ask yourself why you’re here. The costume is a pair of black dress slacks, a bright red bow tie, and some suspenders. You try looking for the shirt to no avail so instead you sigh deeply while changing.

“You should know exactly why you’re here,” you grumble.

And you do. With only a week till the show, it was pretty clear that it’d be difficult to teach Moonie all these tricks and the skits especially when some are a two person performance. So with big pleading eyes the two begged you join the show. And somehow, your usual god-like resistance faltered for the briefest of moments. You look yourself over to allow that self pity to grow. With no shirt, your chubby little belly is hanging out for all to see. You feel like calling it a 'dad belly' would be dodging the issue here. You’re not exactly fat or anything but your gut does poke out enough for you to feel self conscious enough to put your own shirt on instead.

“Woah, where’s the costume?” Moonie sniggers as you as you open the door.

“This is it. Save for the shirt, I had to bring myself.”

“Oh, I was kidding.” Moonie steps in and pulls a dress shirt out.

It’s got white sequins all over it and the sleeve of the wrists puff out with flare. It’s preferable to shirtless, but not by much. You sigh once more as you snatch it and shove Moonie out to change once again.

“It’s one night. Everyone will enjoy themselves and it will all be over,” you mutter.

“Greetings every pony. I am the Great and Powerful Trixie,” the Great and Powerful Trixie thunders as fanfare and confetti fly from the stage, “Today I come to put on a show for you--”

“Woah! Woah! Woah! You’re putting on this show?” Moonie interrupts.

She arrives on stage in her own costume, a blue mimicry of Trixie’s outfit.

“Y-Yes… Trixie booked this time at the town hall a week ago.”

“Well, so did I… The Magnanimous and Magnificent Moondini,” Moonie rears up onto her hind legs as fanfare and confetti fly from the stage.

The crowd murmurs a little amongst themselves, wondering if this is part of the show or not.

“A magician, eh? Very well. The Great and Powerful Trixie is nothing if not humble. She will wager the time slot with you. Whoever can wow the crowd more with their performance, wins.”

“Deal! Now, I will need a volunteer.”

“As does Trixie which is why she got the man who double booked to volunteer. Fillies and colts, mare and stallions, please welcome Anonymous!”

Fanfare ring out and the popping noise for the confetti ring out but there’s no colourful paper.

“Trixie could have sworn there was enough for three,” she mutters to herself.

The crowd clap and cheer non-the-less, which makes you smile. Even in this ridiculous outfit.

“Fear not this terrible beast my attentive audience, we have tamed this great ape,” Moonie jeers as she pokes her tongue out at you.

“Let’s get on with things. Anonymous, my rings please,” Trixie beckons.

You head behind the curtain and pull out two chests. One blue and one purple. From one chest, you grab two rings that Trixie levitates from your grip.

“Something simple to begin,” Trixie bellows as she uses a spell to merge the two.

“Please,” Moonie scoffs, “Anonymous, MY rings please.”

You hand three rings to Moonie who merges them without a spell.

“See, it’s really easy because they split,” she says while demonstrating.

“Don’t bend the rings out of shape,” you angrily shout as you snatch them away from her as per the script.

The crowd laughs a little but none of you pause, you keep the show going so there is always a flow to things.

“Can you create an alternate dimension in your hat?” Trixie boasts as she begins pulling coloured ribbons tied to one another from her hat.

“Anonymous, your hand please.”

When you hold out your hand Moonie grips, with her teeth, a piece of ribbon tucked away under a cap over your thumb and begins to pull. She pulls what seems like and endless line until she bits the thumb cap and pulls, causing the rest of the coloured ribbons to fall onto the floor. This time the audience laugh a little louder, possibly because that could have seemed to be a real accident.

“Is tricks all you know?” Trixie jeers, causing a few crowd members to boo. But it doesn’t shake her.

“The Magnanimous and Magnificent Moondini could ask you the same.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is not some conjurer of cheap tricks!”

“Then why do they call you Trick-see?”

“Very well, Trixie shall show you her power. Anonymous please lie flat on the stage here.”

You do as you’re asked then Trixie begins an overly loud chat in what sounds most like gibberish. Then a sudden warmingly glow flows up and down your body as you start to float. Trixie magics over a hoop to go over you, proving there is no trick here.

“That’s all you’ve got? Watch.”

Trixie places you back on the safety of the wooden floor for Moonie to throw a red sheet over you.

“Now! ARISE!”

Once again you float, but this time you use an arm and leg to do it, using the others to make it look like you’re laying flat still under the sheet.

“Great and Powerful? The Moondini is but a filly and she can do everything you can. But better!”

The audience claps and cheers, the laugher growing as Trixie looks as furious as possible for them.

Trixie uses her hoop once again but it gets caught on your leg.

“Wait a minute,” she states while throwing the sheet off of you to reveal the ‘trick’ to the audience.

They just eat it up. Almost all of them are laughing hard at the sight of the bashful human doing this awkward push up.

“Let Trixie show you REAL magic!”

A box almost large enough for you slides on stage, the door swings open and spanks you on the behind. A few from the crowd whistle or holler, while the rest laugh.

“Trixie would like you, Anonymous, to get inside Trixie’s box,’ says Trixie slyly, setting the audience off again.

It’s cramped but you climb inside. Your head is pressed against your chest, your arms twist around your body and your knees are firmly pushing your stomach.

“Trixie apologises for your discomfort but it shall be over soon,” exclaims the magical mare as she spins the box three times.

Then in an instant, you’re standing behind the crowd watching the empty box be thrust open.

“Ta-da!”

Trixie points over to you and the crowd spins before erupting into clapping, hoots, hollers, cheers, woots, whistles, stomping, and those awkward looking pony clap.

“Anonymous, Moondini needs you to return to the stage.”

You gently break through the crowd, a few pats on the back and words of encouragement as you pass by.

“Do not fear folks, The Gaudy and Powerless Trixie’s sad show is about to be overshadowed when a mere filly out stages her with the same trick once again. And you need not feer too Anonymous, Moondini has a bigger box,” she haughtily laughs while bringing out a poorly constructed box about your height.

Paint looks like it has been slapped on, various stickers adorn it, and a few chunks of glitter can be seen on it. Moonie raided your shed to put it together and was adamant about doing it herself. Trixie supervised. The final result, is cute in its own raggedy, falling apart, kind of way.

“Please, step inside.”

As the door swings open, the sound reminds your of a rusted door in cheesy horror movies. It spooks you a little as the inside of the box seems almost devoid of life. Still, you step inside and let Moonie close it behind you.

“One,” calls the miniature magical midnight mare as she spins the box, “Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!”

The box suddenly stops and you begin to feel slightly dizzy. Then you hear the sounds of joyous laughter as Moonie opens the box to find you still there.

“W-What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were meant to use the trap door to make it look like you disappeared.”

“What trap door?”

“This,” Moonie shouts while pulling the latch.

You yell and pretend to trail it off as if you are falling down a deep ditch. But in truth you are crouching under a very cramped stage. After adjusting yourself, you begin to crawl out and head back into the wagon without anyone seeing, from there you can peek from behind the curtain to watch the rest of the show.

“Well, looks like we’ve lost him,” Moonie states, faking an echo at the end there.

“Very well, Trixie will perform one last time, then you will do yours, and then our faithful audience shall decide the victor.”

“Agreed.”

With a nod, Moonie steps back as Trixie moves up. She summons orange sparks from her horn which hold and glimmer in place like little stars until there’s a small collection. Then they begin to grow in size and take shape together.

“Ooo!” the crowd elicits.

Eventually the shape is complete and it looks like a transparent serpent with glittery stars inside its belly. It lets out a cry as it takes to the sky just above the audience. A few mares shriek a little but most let out an, “Ah!” She sets off a few small fireworks to do the sky as some string music plays from who knows where. The fireworks are small, they make soft pops so everyone can take in their bright, colourful, and glittery splendour. Some fireworks are even shaped into hoops that the celestial serpent glides through. As the serpent climbs into the sky, it bursts into thousands of pieces of glitter that ran over a now cheering audience.

“Oh yeah? How about this?”

Moonie’s horn glows and shortly after the horns that play the fanfare screech as confetti loudly bursts at Trixie. This all startles her as she screams. The crowd laughs and she blushes before composing herself.

“Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience. Almost as much as the Wow-inducing and Wonderful Trixie,” she loudly boasts with a bow, “And let’s not forget the Magnanimous and Magnificent Moondini!”

Moonie bows as the crowd gets louder then sends a small firework into the sky out of excitement. She hops on the spot a little, feeling overwhelmingly giddy. You smile warmly as the curtains are thrust open on you but the mischievous filly.

“Take a bow Anonymous,” Trixie and Moonie shout in unison.

56 Stay

“I’m home,” you tiredly state as you stumble inside.

The lounge chair faces away from the door so you don’t notice Trixie’s presence until she pokes her head out from the side as she stuff her face with a floating sandwich.

“Oh, hey. It’s been a while.”

“Thanks for noticing,” you shrug as you toss aside your luggage.

“Where’d you go?” Trixie asks as she bites into her snack.

“The Mayor had me visit a few towns with her for the upcoming--Hang on, I told you this before I left?”

With a sharp exhale you slump onto the couch so your body can thank you for finally getting some rest. The past week has been long, and incredibly taxing. Mayor Mare is a slave driver some times, but it all pays off in the end.

“Even a mare so wise and wonderful as Trixie forgets things from time to time.”

“How was the trip?” Awkwardly asks a tiny voice beside you.

Beside you is the little terror of the twilight, the mischief-maker of the moon, also known as the ne’er do well of the night. She looks up at you curiously and your instinctively figure she’s up to something. Meanwhile you are completely unaware to her true goals and horror of her actual intentions.

“Long.”

Moonie waits before she snaps to the realisation that was all you were going to say.

“What, that’s it?”

“What are you expecting me to say? You’ve always found my work boring.”

“Well, not today. So bore away Anon!”

She cheerfully beams at you but you’re a little too tired to play along with that idea. So instead you slump over onto her.

“ANON!” She squeals and laughs while she struggles to get out from under you, “You’re really heavy.”

“Are you saying I’m fat?”

You wriggle as you try to put more weight into it. Moonie’s struggles get weaker as time goes on, eventually it’s just her hind legs that are stuck under you. So using her front legs to brace herself up, she glares at you.

“What?”

“Get up.”

“I’ve been slaving away for a whole week. I come home, positively exhausted and barely able to stand and you want me to move about after finally being able to rest?”

You sigh deeply, placing a hand on your forehead as you try to sound as dramatically miserable as possible

“You can be lazy all you want,” she groans while giving another unsuccessful heave, “just not on my legs.”

She uses her magic to grab the couch cushion your head was on to smother you with it. You decide that’s enough and roll sideways to free her. Moonie decides with her new found freedom to jump on top of you instead of fleeing to your surprise.

“Tell you what, because you’re so tired, why don’t I make dinner?”

She beams proudly at you.

“No!” You abruptly state while jolting upright.

You shove Moonie aside and make a quick dinner for two that you hand to Trixie and Moonie sitting at the table in waiting.

“Not eating?” The sloppy and piggy Trixie asks with a mouth full of food.

“Nah, I’m actually going to pass out. I’m seriously exhausted from everything. And don’t do that.”

Trixie mockingly opens her mouth to show what she was in the middle of chewing. Thankfully, Moonie uses her magic to shut it.

“Nobody wants to see that,” reels Moonie.

“Goodnight,” you say as you head off.

Lifting the covers, you slide into bed and begin dozing off. From what you can tell, it’s only a few minutes until Moonie creeps in. At this point you’re half asleep, barely even able to tell if it’s actually happening. Moonie softly flutters up onto the bed and looks at you closely.

“Hm,” she murmurs before curling up beside you.

Her back is pressed against yours so you can feel her warmth and steady breathing that you take a content comfort in as you fade the rest of the way into a dreamless slumber.

57 Hearth's Warming

“Looks like this day has finally come,” you mutter to yourself with a great wave of dread washing over you.

You stare deeply into your own eyes in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes look weary, your hands are hardened from all the years you’ve worked, while your skin’s colour and texture is closer to leather now that it’s lost much of its volume and smoothness. You’ve had all these for many years and it has never bothered you. Looking back into the mirror you sternly glare at your beard.

“Are you ready yet?” Moonie calls out down the hallway.

“Gimme one more minute,” you cry back in an irate tone.

The top of your head is bare because your bizarre dread of this day, that and pony mane dye doesn’t work properly in your hair. So you never really noticed these grey hairs. Hairs as in plural. There are so many little greys that adorn your chin mane. You eye the tweezers then decide to pluck one. You grip it tightly then pull quickly in hopes you can grunt through the pain. But you soon find out that even that isn’t possible for you. A few wild spams, flailing about for no reason other than pain, and lots of cursing happen before you pull yourself together.

“Alright, I’m ready,” you call out as you leave the bathroom only for a dark blur to whizz right under your legs and into the bathroom.

“About time!”

“We don’t have long you know.”

“Then why did you take so long,” shouts Moonie as she throws something at the door.

You let out a sigh step into the lounge room to look around the room for something interesting. There’s not, because you’re not the decorating type, then again there is one lazy mare adorning your couch.

“Trixie, you really need to get off of the couch once in awhile. How goes either of those jobs?

Trixie rolls her eyes at you as she twists her body away from you while her head and eyes stay locked on you.

“Why don’t you come with us?” You state with a sweet smile.

“The sweet and benevolent Trixie will not intrude on your father-daughter bonding time,” she mocks, “Besides, this time of year isn’t really… Trixie’s thing.”

“You and me both,” you sigh deeply.

“Then why are you going?”

“Bonding.”

You give her a confused look, she just said the reason why you are going only a moment ago. Was she kidding before or is she joking now? It’s hard to guage the magnificently lazy mare who hasn’t gotten up all day and yet somehow looks about two winks away from falling asleep from exhaustion. Trixie goes silent for a minute, however she stares at you intently the whole time until she opens her mouth to speak before immediately shutting it.

“What?” You dryly ask.

“You have still yet to tell Trixie how you two met.”

“I haven’t?”

She shakes her head and finally gets up. Her hooves are still only the couch as she leans on the back so she can intently focus on you. It’s almost as if she expects the whole story now. Thankfully Moonie’s hoofsteps can be heard coming down the hallway before you can say anything.

“Well, I’m heading off. Another time though. Maybe when I have a drink in my system or something.”

“Trixie always thought of you as one of those no fun allowed types.”

“Not today I’m not.”

“Of course not,” she sarcastically pokes her tongue out at you.

“You know, the princess probably won't like hearing you flirt like that.”

“Actually, I need to talk about that--”

“Oh, look! There’s the festival.”

She is off before she even finishes her sentence. You wonder why the two of you had to go together if she is going to dart off at the first sign of pretty lights. Instead of letting that bug you, shrug it off and also decide to leave that bit of sorry news, about you and the princess, for another day. You’d like to see Moonie enjoy a holiday that isn’t centred around her and terrifying others.

“Anon, over here,” beckons Moonie.

She is standing in front of a cotton candy stand operated by a cheery little mare looking for your wallet.

“Alright, how much?”

“Well, it depends how big you want to go,” the attendant replies.

“ALL OF IT,” beams Moonie.

“Not a chance.”

“Come on. It’s the holidays and the little filly wants a treat.”

You eye her with an unyielding glare. You’re not one of those pushovers who give into a kid’s every demand. She isn’t phased though, that same overly cheery smile beams from her face as if she knows she’ll get what she is after.

“What if I get the large then?” Moonie tries compromising with hope.

“You’ll have no other snacks for the night then.”

“Psht, extra medium then.”

You hold out the bits then mutter to the attendant, “the large, please.”

The attendant’s grin starts glowing as if to warn nearby ships of danger. She and Moonie get what they want. But who cares. She’s right, it’s the holidays. You’re willing to spoil Moonie and little more than you usually do. You just wish you could do that without seeing this many teeth.

“So, who are you meant to be?” The attendant asks as she weaves the cotton candy.

“Snowfall Frost.”

She gives you a disapproving glance while Moonie radiates a smug aura.

“It was the only way I could get her to come,” you lie as you take the puffy pink cloud of sugar on a stick.

“Woah, this is huge.”

Moonie takes it in her magic and begins digging in as she darts around the other stalls looking at their food. She doesn’t ask for any but you imagine she’s getting recon done for when the cotton candy is gone. As she is off and enjoying all the splendor, you hang back a bit. Eyeing the stage where the Ponyville Hearth’s Warming Eve performance will take place.

“Anon?”

You can’t help but feel a little bit of dread. Every year so far you’ve avoided coming to these events. It’s not your thing.

“Anon~?”

But today is an important day. For you, for Mayor Mare, for Moonie, and even the whole town. So you need to be here.

“Anon,” calls out the voice one more time, this time they nudge you a little.

“Oh, hello… Mayor Mare.”

The mayor gives a sigh of relief.

“I was going to ask you to give the opening speech but given how intently you were staring at the stage there--”

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“It’s alright,” she interjects with a hoof, “I know you’re nervous. Still, I would like you to introduce the play so every pony knows you’re here.”

You nod and Mayor graciously smiles before heading off as she’s got a lot to do. She said she wanted to catch up with every pony she knew during the festival, and given she’s the mayor of such a close community, that’s pretty much everyone.

“Anon, I want Hearth’s Warming frittatas.”

Moonie points to the nearby stall with the confectionary cloud gone.

“There is no way you ate that this quickly.”

“How dare you underestimate your queen like that.”

You shrug and just give in, buying her 4 frittatas before telling her to take it easy. Though, you know she won’t. It’s Nightmare Night all over again. The two of you walk along, neither really leading as Moonie eats her food.

“So, what’s with the grey?”

“What?”

Her quick and nonchalant way of asking feels like a sudden slap in the face as you stand there for the briefest moment in a daze.

“Your beard,” she says, chewing with her mouth open, “It’s going grey. Are you getting old.”

Moonie slyly smirks at you and while you have now caught onto what she’s doing, she still has you by surprise.

“It’s stress.”

Mentally you kick yourself for lacking any kind of wit right now. You try your best to subtly take a deep breath to help compose yourself. It doesn’t quite work, but you do notice Moonie has composed herself a little and stopped. Now you’re standing away from the festival a little, at least out of earshot of every pony.

“Hey… How long do humans live for?” Moonie asks in a very sombre tone.

Her eyes stare at you with a piercing intent, unwilling to break for fiercely that even you can’t turn away from them.

“For a very, very long time,” you reply as you squat down to her level, “I’m not going anywhere.”

With a warming smile and slightly open arms in case a hug is needed, you feel like you’re being as reassuring and comforting as possible. Moonie however makes a complete about-face and heads off while chatting away to the open breeze about what other foods she wants to try before the show because you hang there for a moment. Still squatting alone. Burying your face into your hands, you resist as best you can the urge to scream.

“One last snack,” you call back as you catch up, “the show is about to start.”

Moonie convinces you to get her a small bag of pastries and some popcorn. You pinch a small hand full before darting around backstage.

“Ah, Anonymous. No time, you’re on,” Mayor Mare gibber jibber jabbers as she shoves you on stage.

“Watch your step,” bellows Moonie, clearly with a mouth full of food.

“Heh, well first I should thank you all for coming. I’m Anonymous, the human.”

“Obviously~!” Moonie rudely shouts once again.

“Once more and you’re grounded for a month,” you dryly reply which causes most of the audience to give a brief laugh, “Let me introduce our performance for tonight. Cheerilee and Pinkie worked very hard together to write a whole new performance which will be performed by Miss Cheerilee’s class. The kids did everything themselves; costumes, props, the set, all of it. And it looks great. So please give a warm stamp and cheer for tonight’s performers.”

With that you step off stage as the little children scamper on in their various outfits. You even spot one poor colt as a tree. Honestly, you’ve always thought that kind of thing was a joke, but here you are looking at one. You find Moonie sitting a few rows back and onto the edge with a spare seat beside her for you.

“Why did you move over here?”

The Mayor had reserved front row seats for the two of you after all.

“The only person your height are the princesses. Nobody wants a great lanky dolt blocking their view.”

“Oh, right,” you mutter.

She has a good point, you just feel wounded that Moonie of all people pointed out how you were being inconsiderate.

“This is the tale of a far away land’s version of Hearth’s Warming,” a shy colt states to the audience dressed in what you can overly describe as a puffy bard costume.

“You didn’t,” you mutter to Moonie.

“It was too easy of a sell really. A fat human that gives presents for being good? Pinkie didn’t need any more convincing.”

You sigh deeply into your hands, holding back a loud groan as the play continues.

The play goes on, it’s a simple story really. A human, played by a filly who is constantly struggling to stand on her hind legs like you, is transformed by the ‘human gods’ into a fat old man who must reward all the well behaved kids each year. The ‘human’ resists naturally but eventually their stubbornness is overcome by good nature, and a wish to see kids smile. You also can’t help but notice the filly playing the human has a bald cap and a fake beard that looks a lot like yours until it greys and grows. The whole time Moonie beams at you while stuffing her face with the seemingly endless box of popcorn.

“What a wonderful little tale,” you remark as you head back on stage once the show is over, “I actually had no idea there was going to be a story based on events back in my motherland. Thank you kids. Now there will be a few more acts to go on, such as some carolling but first, Mayor Mare would like to say a few words.”

You gesture towards the stage right as the mayor steps out. Mares and stallions stamp, fillies and colts cheer as you smile at just how beloved the mayor of this town is. Then you do a nervous swallow as she takes the mic.

“Greetings every pony. I hope you’re all having a great time, I know I am. What a wonderful show that was, also I couldn’t help but notice that Anon, your beard has begun to grey. Can the children of Ponyville expect gifts this year, or does the transformation take time?” she states in her usually cheery demeanour that everyone has grown accustomed to, “Now I have some bittersweet news. Princess Celestia has asked me, personally, to aside with things up in Canterlot.”

The crowd works up into a thundering applause and hollering of pride for Mayor Mare. And who wouldn’t? She works so hard and even the princess recognises that.

“Unfortunately, this means I’d have to leave this town I love so dearly, and all of you. Of course, I will visit often. But I know you will all be in the safest of hands. I have known Anonymous for many years, and have had the honour of working beside him for two of them. He works just as diligently as I. Plus, I’ll be stopping in to make sure he doesn’t sleep on the job,” she proudly jests.

The audience laughs too and stamps a little before Mayor Mare speaks up again.

“I will miss you all. Thank you for letting me the mayor of this wonderful town. Anonymous, please take care of them.”

“Only the best of care, Minister Mare” you reply.

You notice Mayor Mare has begun tearing up a little. Not enough for people to see, you think. But you quickly take the reigns and introduce the carolling act so the two of you can head off stage. There you share a moment of joy and sorrow in a warming hug.

“Minister Mare, huh?”

“Yeah, it fits,” you grin.

“It has a nice ring to it.”

“You’ll always be Mayor Mare though.”

“Thank you,” she murmurs into your chest.

Then the two of you head out for the night where you are both swarmed by ponies. Everyone Mayor Mare meets wants to say goodbye and that they’ll miss her. You however are swamped with concerns and wishes. Even when you break free of that crowd, ponies are constantly walking up to you all night. It is so bad at one point, Moonie decides to head off on her own, leaving you to the chatty masses.

You finally return home, alone. Trixie is snoozing partly on the couch and partly on the floor. She is going to have some aching joints in the morning based on that angle. You consider fixing her up but you do have a spare bed, and her wagon is fixed so this will serve her right. Before you head to bed, you check in on Moonie’s room to find an empty bed. The covers and pillows have been moved around so obviously she has been in it.

“Moonie,” you gently call out as you search the house.

You wander into the kitchen and notice the subtle creak of the backyard swing so you walk over. There Moonie is, swinging back and forth while looking up at the sky. You sit on the opposite site of the yard, in your hammock. Looking over to Moonie as you swing a little yourself.

“Hey.”

“Hey...”

“How come you’re out here?”

“I can’t sleep. Ate too many snacks,” she laughs softly.

“I really do spoil you too much,” you murmur back as you look up into the sky.

The lights glow and twinkle as the stars shoot around to arrange a painting for tonight’s canvas. That means somewhere out there Luna is working her magic. Suddenly disheartened, you lie back into the hammock.

There’s a silence that hangs in the air for what feels like the longest while before Moonie speaks up, “Congratulations on becoming the mayor, I guess.”

“You guess?”

She just shrugs at you. However you’re not willing to let silence fill a gap once again.

“What is wrong? You’ve kind of been funny all week.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I know something is bothering you.”

Again she shrugs.

“Come here.”

Moonie looks over to you, curiously but apathetic.

“Please.”

With a sigh, Moonie wanders over and you lift her up into the hammock beside you. The two of you have to adjust a little but she is able to sit there beside you.

“I can fly you know.”

“Yeah, I know. But I like to feel like you’re still a tiny little filly I can harass as I please.”

“Be wary of your Queen’s temper,” Moonie grumbles as she lies down, resting her head on your belly while she stares at you.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. It’s okay. But I worry, and I’m here if you need me, okay?”

You run your fingers through her mane and so she closes her eyes to enjoy the sensation of your fingers parting her almost ethereal locks. She seems to take a slow breathe as you comfort her. Then once again, things fall silent. You stare up into the sky above, still running your fingers through Moonie’s mane as the softest breeze blows and noisy crickets echo in the distance.

“I just m--... It’s been hard, to spend time with you lately. You know?”

“I know,” you sigh with a dejected sense, “But I’m the boss now. I decide my hours and everything. But, I’ve also… Cleared other stuff in my schedule. I’ve got all my time, that isn’t work, to spend with you. Alright?”

“Alright.”

She seems a little more at ease, as far as you can tell.

“I guess Trixie is going to need a little bit of that time too. I need to that mare to get back to work, or find her a new job.”

“I could help?”

“Oh? How?”

“I’ve always wanted a rug for my throne room.”

“Heh, no skinning your teachers.”

You pet her once again as the two of you rock side to side, enjoy the rest of the tranquil night under the stars.

58 Moonie's Day at the Office

“Why is it, even with Trixie’s connections that she must still fill out these forms?”

Looking up you see the gelatinous form of Trixie apathetic face spread over your desk, staring at you.

“Busking once in a while is fine, but if you want to do regular performances then you need to fill out some paperwork. It’s all easy anyway.”

“Busking? You dare call the Awe-inspiring and Talented Trixie’s performances busking?”

“You put on a show in a public place in hopes people give you money, that’s busking.

“Anonymous, you’re the mayor. Just give Trixie the permit,” she whines, stamping her hooves like a child on the verge of a tantrum.

You ignore her, sliding the form towards her once more then return to your own work. Trixie sits down finally, grumbling as she fills out the spots. With a slap, she puts the form on the desk in front of you then tries staring you down. Then, much to Trixie’s displeasure, you smile warmly at her before speaking in a very cheery tone.

“My, look at the time. I’m going to head home for lunch.”

You quickly glance at Trixie’s form before you stand up and head for the door.

“Trixie despises you,” she harshly whispers, almost foaming at the mouth.

“Relax, everything looked to be in order. You can busk all you want now, just don’t get in anyone’s way.”

“Wait. That’s all it took?”

“Yeah, and you were whining for an hour over it.”

“Trixie does not whine, she merely is observant when the universe doesn’t go her way.”

“Right, well, let’s go.”

Being the gentleman that you are, or rather, being the hungry human you are, you hold the door open for Trixie so you can lock up once she’s out. Then the two of you walk home, talking about what to have for lunch. And of course all of Trixie’s suggestions are extravagant meals that would take ages to make using ingredients you don’t have.

“Very well, Trixie will compromise then, what if we have--”

“NIGHTMARE MOON HAS RETURNED, FEAR FOR ONE AND ALL,” Moonie bellows from the rooftop of your house.

“And she better be careful when playing on a roof, she might fall.”

“Anonymous, do you dare underestimate your queen for the umpteenth time?”

“Wings and magic or no, accidents happen,” you reply as you head inside.

As you’re making yourself a sandwich, you can hear the shouting of Trixie and Moonie. You’re not sure what they’re talking about but they’re being loud. Then there’s a sudden thump, followed by a bunch more in rapid succession as you see a dark blue form fall. Moonie begins to cry out as you dart outside.

“What happened?”

“Ah… Well, looks like you get--ow--to say I told you so.”

Moonie stands up perfectly fine but one of her wings is stuck pointing outwards at angles you know it shouldn’t make.

“C-Can we pop it back or something?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to touch it, it’ll very likely hurt.”

Moonie winces as you hand hovers over one of the awkward joints. You try to be very light when you feel the area. It’s definitely a break, half of the bone is still attached but there is a part that’s clearly split. Just by looking at the other two bends in her wing, it’ll be a similar case. You don’t dare feel them too because just lightly touching this one hurt Moonie plus you’ve been reminded of how squeamish you are. There’s an odd churning sensation in your throat as you fight the urge to cringe over touching broken bone.

“We need to get you to a hospital.”

There’s no protest from Moonie. She tries her best to steady her breathing and walking slowly to avoid hurting herself but it’s too slow. So you grab your wheelbarrow and put it to good use by carrying Moonie in it. A thought crosses your mind that this probably the first time you’ve used this thing.

“Man, these gardening tools were really a waste,” you mutter to yourself.

“What?” Moonie asks, clearly baffled.

“Nothing.”

“No, I heard--Why were you talking about gardening tools?”

“I don’t know, just a thought.”

“You’re planning on burying me in the garden when they put me down, aren’t you?”

“What?!”

“Admit it!”

It’s now you realise that Moonie is joking, trying to make light of something to take her mind of things. You smile slightly as you play along.

“You’ve got me. I wanted to try and grow some moonflowers. Have a whole vine of them creep up the house.”

“Please, you’re the type who couldn’t even raise a succulent or a cactus.”

“I raised you, didn’t I?”

“And look how well I turned out!”

“Yeah, still haven’t taken over Equestria. Where did I go wrong as a villainous father?”

You place the back of your hand on your forehead to throw yourself back in woe but quickly realise the mistake as the wheelbarrow nearly tips. You catch it. But Moonie isn’t impressed.

“I can think of a lot of times.”

“We can compare notes shortly, we’re here.”

The rest of the time goes pretty smoothly. For you at least. Lots of waiting. For Moonie however there’s lots of resetting joints, bones, split and cast making, bandaging, with a touch of medication to top it off. Then the two of you are sent on your way so Moonie can get some rest and wait this out.

“Get up,” you state early in the morning as you pass Moonie’s bedroom.

A groggy filly looks up at you with malcontent and tries to roll over but instead lays on her wing causing her to jump up in pain.

“What happened?”

“I rolled onto my stupid wing because of you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah!”

“How did I do that?”

“You woke me--Ugh, stop talking to me. I’m too tired.”

An audible plomf can be heard as Moonie’s head collides back into the safety of her pillow.

“Come on, you’re coming into work with me. I know a place you can nap there.”

“Why?”

Moonie’s voice is muffled but can still be clearly heard as she seems to almost throatily shout it into her pillow.

“Either I take care of you for the day, or Trixie does.”

You watch Moonie as she doesn’t move before sliding out of bed. Her eyes are hang suitcases as they struggle to keep open enough to glare at you.

“Do you seriously get up this early every day for work?” Croaks Moonie.

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who is up even earlier on weekends.”

She smirks to herself as she slumps slowly into the bathroom. You make yourself some toast to snack on as you prepare a lunch for the two of you.

“Ready,” a still fatigued Moonie barely utters.

“You don’t want breakfast?”

“No, you said I could sleep over there.”

You ruffle her smooth mane a little which earns a faint swat before you head off. The air outside still has that cold crisp night air nip to it and the town is deserted save for a few ponies who plan to work a stall for the day that are heading into the square to set up. You wave to a few, some seem just as out of it as the filly by your side.

The town hall is just 5 rooms. There is the big auditorium where all the performances and various get togethers are held, the backstage area for the auditorium, then way off to the side is the lobby to the mayor’s office and your former workstation, then there’s the file room, and finally your private office which still feels odd to say.

“There’s the couch, and if you move the cushions here there’s a blanket.”

“How often do you nap at work?”

“Sh, get some sleep,” you reply as Moonie uses her magic to place the blanket over herself like a mountain.

She’s likely trying to get right back to sleep so you keep the noise down as much as possible by taking everything a little bit slower. Like taking an extra 10 seconds to slowly place your tea mug on the desk, or slowly shifting from heel to toe as you walk so the floorboards that have never creaked once in the entire time you’ve worked here don’t decide to start today, or stopping every time your leather chair creaks as you get seated for the day.

“I give up.”

Moonie’s head pops out from the blanket mound on the couch.

“Every little sound.”

“Sorry.”

“What was that?”

“You want some tea or something?”

“Answer your queen! The night shall not be defied!”

“You’re suddenly full of energy. You want a drink or not?”

“Coffee.”

“Not happening.”

“Trixie lets me have coffee,” she states proudly, holding her nose up high at you.

“Wow, snitch!”

“What?!”

“You’re not allowed coffee and Trixie knows that. I can’t believe you just snitched all so you can brag!”

“I-I was kidding!”

“So you lied? Which is it?”

Moonie falls silent then retreats back into the blanket mound. You smile as you know you don’t have any coffee at home and Trixie doesn’t drink it.

You’ve gotten quite a bit of work done in silence as Moonie has still yet to leave the couch or blanket. Then Moonie walks into the office.

“Woah, hang on! When did you leave?”

“A while ago,” she shrugs, “Anyway, I’m bored. There’s nothing to do here.”

“This pile of paperwork disagrees,” you mutter under your breath.

“Anon!”

“What?”

“I’m bored.”

“Okay… What do you want me to do about it?”

“Entertain me.”

“Here, file these for me. The cabinet closest to the door, it goes alphabetically.”

“What?”

“Make an adventure out of it or something, I just need five minutes then we’ll do something.”

Moonie looks at you with sheer disgust for a moment before she puffs herself up. Her nose is held high and you can already tell where she’s going with this.

“As your queen, I am issuing a royal decree--”

“I’m issuing a mayoral decree.”

“A queen outranks a mayor!”

“Where’s your crown then?”

Moonie uses her magic to grab a few blank pieces of paper then hastily begins to fold them until she has made a paper crown.

“HA!” Moonie boasts, pointing at you with a little ‘in your face’ kind of laugh.

“That’s actually pretty good,” you chuckle.

“And don’t you forget it.”

Moonie snatches the files and heads off to file them for you.

“I’m taking these rubber bands,” says Moonie as she sifts through your desk draw.

“Fine, just get out of there.”

You close it on her and shoo her away. She complies without dispute, you don’t even spy a vulgar face being pulled at you. Instead Moonie slips back under her fort she’s made out of the blanket, office chairs, and couch cushions.

There’s a few minutes of peace as you sign off on a few documents. When you look over to the fort, you notice a magical glow around a curious apparatus on the floor. It grabs your attention at the right time because it sends a pencil flying at your direction. It’s easy to dodge but only because you saw it fire, so you quickly get up and confiscate the office ballista off Moonie.

“That’s mine.”

“Find something else to do that isn’t going to take out my eyes.”

In a huff, Moonie slumps onto the floor to groan in boredom.

It doesn’t take long for Moonie to begin rummaging around the place again for something to do.

“I’ve got coloured pencils if that helps.”

“I guess,” she shrugs.

She takes them and a bunch of blank paper sheets and sets to do her own thing. You look over every once in a while to see she gave up on drawing long ago and is colouring the sheets of paper a solid colour. There’s no harm in it, so you keep quiet. Even as she wears down the lead, constantly having to sharpen them over and over.

“Look,” proudly boasts Moonie.

She puffs herself up and strikes a regal pose to show off her origami crown adorning her head.

“Very nice.”

“I made you one.”

You’re taken aback at first, but Moonie quickly snaps you back to reality when you notice your crown is about an eighth of the size her’s is.

“Thanks.”

She place the crown atop your head as if she was crowing you at a ceremony, even putting on an overly popous and upper class accent.

“I officially crown you, King Butthead of the Humans.”

“So, is this all you do all day?”

“Not always. Sometimes I have meetings, or I need to do things outside to oversee or check up on things, I’ll even have to make trips out of town once in a while, but there is a lot of paperwork for all of it.”

Moonie groans as if this is something she has to do.

“Why didn’t you bring Sir Bearington or something?”

“He still smelled after his was last night.”

“You need to clean him properly then.”

“I do.”

“Not if he still smells you aren’t.”

“I do.”

“I’m not arguing on this. I’ll wash him properly tonight and show you how it’s done.”

“He just needs a second soak.”

You look up from your work and give her an unimpressed deadpan stare. Moonie purses her lips as she moves off the desk and out of your field of vision. With a sigh, you look back at the documents in front of you. It doesn’t take long before Moonie darts out the room.

“Anonymous, I have an idea. Come!”

“Moonie, I’m trying to work.”

“Your queen demands it.”

With a heavy and frustrated grunt you stand up. Just as you take a step you notice your leg can only pull so far. You’re able to look down as you begin to topple and notice your shoe laces are tied together.

“I can’t believe you fell for that,” Moonie bellows in a raucous laugh.

You glance at the clock as you notice you’ve been at work for just over half an hour uninterrupted.

“Moonie?”

Standing up, you check around the office. You don’t find Moonie, instead you find a welcomed soul near the front door.

“Ah, Anonymous,” Mayor Mare cheerily smiles at you.

You wave back, a little shocked at her arrival and then notice the piercing eyes of mischief incarnate peeking up from behind the front desk.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I’m just here to check up on the last few things before I must go, I tried to keep it quiet in case you were busy.”

“No, I’ve finished most of my work for the day. Would you like something to drink?”

“She’ll have some tea,” Moonie shouts, clearly overly excited.

“Yes, tea sounds wonderful,” Mayor Mare muffles a laugh as she speaks.

As you boil the kettle, you set out a cup and everything else you need as you feel slightly awkward. All of a sudden there is a silence as Mayor Mare and Moonie watch you, and that feeds you a unique anxious feeling.

“You’re not working yourself too hard, hm?” Mayor Mare says, breaking the silence that was nearly deafening.

“Well, you know me Mayor.”

“Exactly why I asked.”

“I should probably get out of the habit of calling your mayor,” you say, trying to deflect the topic as you place the tea on the desk.

Then you take a seat as Minister Mare leaps against the desk before she takes a slow, drawn out inhale of the tea as she always does before gently blowing on it.

“I don’t mind. It still feels strange to hear it truthfully.”

“So… How often do you think you’ll be able to make trips back?”

Moonie makes the tiniest snicker that the two of you ignore and carry on with the conversation.

“As often as I can. Ponyville is home after all, besides I can’t leave you all alone.”

“Worried I’m going to ruin the town by the time you get back?”

“More like I’m worried you’ll outshine me.”

She swats at your elbow that you easily dodge.

“Let me know when you’re coming back sometime so I can organise something small. Everyone is going to want to know how Minister Mare is doing her service for Equestria.”

“Uh, I’ll likely be around for Hearts and Hooves Day. I heard you were planning a festival for it.”

“Yeah… Something like that. Nothing solid yet--”

“I’m sure you’ll work something out. Either way I’m looking forward to it.”

Then, in the slightest distance of your peripherals, you notice Moonie wiggling her eyebrows and making kissing faces as she gestures to Minister Mare. You close your eyes to take the briefest of pauses to ignore the fact there is a millenia old mare across the way on the verge of singing that “sitting in the tree” song like she’s ten. Whoever said with age comes wisdom left out a part about maturity. Minister Mare glances over her shoulder to Moonie who is now curiously looking between her and you as if nothing is going on.

“Well, I must get going,” Minister Mare states before finishing off her tea.

You marvel at how quick that was for her as typically she would sip her tea until it goes cold.

“Take care.”

“You too. And no more rooftops for you.”

Moonie pokes her tongue out as Mayor Mare leaves.

“What are you up to?”

“What?”

“You laughed earlier, you were making those stupid faces, oh, and what’s this about a festival?”

“How dare you act as if I am up to no good. I’m just trying to get… To get you back up on the horse,” Moonie cackles under her breath at the last part.

“Real funny. It’s not a bad idea but you are not doing the match maker thing. I’m having none of that.”

“Come on! I could be your wing-filly~!”

“You could be grounded if you keep that up.”

“Please! I have only the purest of intentions,” Moonie sweetly states, even fluttering her eyes a bit.

“You must have something good planned if you’re willing to go that far.”

“No, not really,” Moonie flatly replies in a disgusted tone as she shudders, “That felt dirty. Besides, I’m making this up as I go along.”

“Well it ends here.”

“So, you don’t want to do a Hearts and Hooves festival? You’re willing to disappoint all those mares, even Mayor Mare?”

“What do you mean all those mares?”

Moonie snickers once again.

“Oh, I’m so excited for this festival. Let me help!”

She is so ecstatically giddy over this prospect. You don’t believe for a second that she’s making it up as she goes along, at the least she’d have an endgame in mind. However, a festival isn’t such a bad idea. Plus, Mayor Mare and apparently many more folk are expecting one. Then another realisation hits you. Moonie would help. The two of you would have to sit down, plan out a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff. The kind that makes Moonie sick to the stomach on a regular basis. You could draw out a punishment before she has a chance to even pull off whatever plan you can assume she’s up to.

“Fine. But you’ll be coming in every day to help with it until all the plans are done. This kind of thing should be done months in advance so there’s no--”

“Deal!” Moonie stares at you with determination, “I can’t wait.”

59 Taking the Nightmare out of Nightmare Moon

Your body creaks and aches as you rise from your bed like it’s as decrepit as a haunted house. As you rub your eyes to ease the suitcases hanging there, you stare out the window to see the tiniest glow of the sun has peered over the horizon. With a defeated sigh you climb out of bed after suffering another near sleepless night.

Trixie’s snores can be heard loudly now as you step into the bathroom and begin the morning ritual much earlier than usual. Though, lately it feels like the usual time. You splash your face with water when a sudden thump from Moonie’s room pulls your attention. With the quietest tip-toes to ensure nobody is woken, you open her door to see an empty bed.

“Moonie?” You whisper.

A little silhouette of head pops up on the opposite side of the bed.

“What?”

“Why are you up?”

Your voice is coarse and groggy as every sentence seems to take the wind out of you while your throat pleads for water.

“Queen of the night, remember?”

“It’s morning.”

Moonie pauses as she tries to figure out an excuse to ensure she can’t get in trouble. As she stalls you wearily lean on the door frame, letting out a soft sigh.

“Sir Bearington had nightmares.”

“Right. Well, are you coming to work with me today?”

“You’re letting me choose?”

Moonie leaps up onto the bed and even with the low light, you can see the bewildered look in her bright eyes. It makes a lot of sense her cutie mark is related to the night when you could compare her eyes to small, twinkling stars right now and her mane glimmers proudly behind her like a painter’s canvas.

“Mhm,” you grunt.

Moonie turns around to look at something that’s where she was hiding earlier, then glances back to you.

“I’ll need to think about it.”

You stand back up and wander out to the kitchen to get that glass of water. Then out of a strange boredom brought on by exhaustion, you sit at the kitchen table and scribble on a piece of paper. Not drawing or writing anything in particular, just random shapes and scribbles. After a while you kind of play that game folks usually do with clouds and try to make out rough guess of what you’ve scribbled.

“What are you up to?” Moonie asks as she steps into the kitchen and opens the fridge door just to stare at its contents.

“Nothing really,” you reply as you scrunch up the paper and toss it.

“I nearly forgot, but it’s the weekend.”

Only now did you decide to glance at the calendar you have hanging on the fridge door to see she’s right. No work today.

“Guess it is. Thanks.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“Can’t… In fact, I’ve been having trouble for a few days now.”

“Nightmares?” asks Moonie in a nonchalant tone as she takes a sip from the milk carton.

“Don’t think so. I had nightmares once but I don’t recall if I even dreamed at all the other nights.”

“Everyone dreams. Every night. They often have multiple dreams, only you don’t remember them all.”

You glare at Moonie with tired eyes as she is about to take another sip from the carton. With a smirk, she magics over a two glasses and pours the milk instead.

“That’s better.”

She takes a seat opposite you and places the second glass in front of you. Then the two of you sit there in silence for a while drinking milk. Moonie then downs the last bit of her milk and then stares you down.

“Tell no one.”

“Tell no one what?”

“Just promise.”

“Moonie,” you sigh exasperatedly as you bury your face into the palm of your hand, “I’m too tired to do this.”

Moonie groans at you and uses her magic to drag you along with her.

“I am Nightmare Moon, Queen of the Night and former denizen of Princess Luna herself. If there’s one thing I know--”

She cuts herself off as she leaps up onto your bed. Without protest, you follow suit only by falling over like a collapsing tree. The shockwave sends Moonie into the air a bit, startling her enough to elicit a laugh.

“Get some rest, okay?”

You lie your head on the mattress, resigning the energy to move up onto a pillow. Moonie decides to curl up against your head.

“Goodnight Anon,” Moonie peacefully mutters.

You open your mouth to protest when a chorus of thumps rings in your ears. It’s her heartbeat and it’s beating such a soothing tune that you let go of any idea of protest. Instead you listen closely with your eyes shut so each pounding beat can be heard over a slowing breath as you wearily drift to sleep.

“Goodnight, and thank you,” you mumble back.

60 Story Time

“Alright then, page 89…” you murmur as you flick through the pages of the CYOA book you and Moonie are reading together.

“DEATH ROUTE! GO BACK,” Moonie abruptly shouts trying to scramble for the book in your hands.

“You can’t just skip to the last part of the page.”

“Who else is going to keep us alive?”

“This book is half death routes, a third bad ends, and the rest are mildly good endings.”

“Wait, I thought you hadn’t read this before.”

“I haven’t,” you reply as you flash her the cover, ensuring to keep a finger on the page, ”It’s says as much here.”

“Oh… We’ve also got a secret route.”

“How do you hide a secret route in a book?”

“Maybe they send you the rest of it later.”

“Or they hid it in the dust cover,” you joke, but you still peel it back a bit to check which is where you find 3 new pages.

You and Moonie pause for a moment in shock before nonchalantly returning to page 54, to reconsider your decision.

“Let’s go with… Medicine then,” Moonie decides confidently as she flicks over the pages for you, “No, that’s death again. All these choices are death.”

“Okay, let’s go back to the first choice. But this time we need to keep a route in mind.”

“So we have to decide on a girl?”

You shrug, “pretty much.”

Moonie sighs as she hops off of your lap to prepare for the big debate.

“So, who do you think we should go with?” Moonie asks calmly.

You shrug once again.

“Any?”

“That’s not helpful,” Moonie irately groans.

“Fine. Then… Not Chess ‘n Checkers.”

“I didn’t ask who not to go for.”

“Process of elimination. That way neither of us gets the girl we hate.”

“Your queen agrees with this logic,” she nods, “Then not the shy one.”

“The one with blue hair, or green?”

“How… It’s a book. There’s no pictures.”

“They described each character back in chapter one,” you argue back, clearly annoyed.

“That was like a year ago. I forgot… Anyway, the lady one.”

“Oh, yeah. She was kind of boring anyway. Alright, who next?”

“We’re left with the sister, the maid, childhood friend, and secret route.”

“We’ll save secret route for later.”

“I hope it’s the best friend. She’s amazing.”

“It’s not,” you reply as you skim through the secret pages.

Moonie launches a pillow at your face with her magic.

“What happened to no skipping?”

“I was curious,” you defensively reply.

Moonie just lets out a long sigh.

“Wish it was the friend,” you mutter.

“I know. Anyway, who do we eliminate now?”

“Not the sister?”

“Yeah. I could go without her. Maybe as a re-read.”

“Okay, so maid and childhood friend.”

“Childhood friend!” Moonie replies without hesitation.

“She’s a little young don’t you think?”

“I’m young.”

“You’re older than me,” you drily retort.

Moonie just clicks her tongue at you, so you poke yours out at her which she then mimics.

“Children, the both of you,” a tired Trixie states as she wanders into the kitchen.

“Childhood friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“CHILDHOOD FRIEND! Your queen demands.”

“Fine,” you say as you pat your lap for Moonie to return.

The two of you continue to read, dying another ten times as if it were inevitable for you both before you get anywhere with the childhood friend. After a long while, Moonie yawns so you bookmark the page and lift her up.

“Aw, really?”

“Yeah. It’s late. Get some sleep,” you softly answer.

“Can I ask a favour then?”

“Sure.”

“Could you keep reading to me?”

You lay her down into bed so she pulls the covers over herself as you grab a different book. You flash her the cover and she replies with a tired but cuddly “yay” as she buries herself into her bed more.

As you begin to read, Moonie quickly starts to drift off to the sound of your voice. Even when you can tell she is fast asleep, you continue to read a little while longer to her as if it might make her dream of nice things.

61 I'll Show You Evil

"I AM THE TERROR, THE FEAR RESIDING IN THE NIGHT, THE ALL POWERFUL NIGHTMARE MOON," bellows the filly as she charges down the hallway.

"No running inside," you flatly reply as you do the dishes.

"You can't tell your Queen what to do. I'm evil!"

She is now at your foot, tugging at your pant leg for attention.

"More like a brat," you chuckle as you scoop up some bubbles and put it on her head.

"You dare call me a brat?"

"Yeah... Well, think about it. You don't actually do anything evil. You just make demands all day and yell about how evil you are when the most sinister thing you've done all week is stay up 15 minutes past bed time yesterday. Actually you have been incredibly well behaved lately."

"N-No... This cannot be," a wide-eyed Moonie says in disbelief, "I've lost touch."

She shakes her head a little from the shock, not enough to tip the bubbles off but just enough to have them wobble like jelly so you struggle to muffle any laughter.

"You're still cute though," you tease.

This earns you the fieriest glare from Moonie, the kind of eyes you haven't seen since she first arrived at your door. Internally, you feel a bit of worry starting to swell but externally you're all warm smiles.

"You shall regret making a mockery of me."

And with that she stomps out of the room, lifting her little hooves higher than necessary so she can stamp them even louder for the dramatic flair you’ve grown used to with her.

“DESPAIR!” Moonie barks as she slides into the bathroom doorway.

You’re grooming in the mirror after getting out the shower so you just use that to look behind you at her. Hovering overhead are three water balloons that Moonie immediately fires at high speed with her magic. They pop on contact, bursting causing the water to soak your already wet skin. Moonie looks upon you in pride.

“My favourite part is how your prank was considerate enough to get me in the bathroom, where I don’t really have to worry about the water.”

You point to the drain in the centre of the room where the water is already flowing into slowly. Moonie groans before she takes off. You just shake your head as you dry yourself off.

Once you’re finished in the bathroom, you walk down the hall where a Moonie hides around in corner in wait for you to reach the trip wire she has set. As you’re clueless to it, she lifts the rope and causes you to trip.

“EVIL!”

“More like minor inconvenience,” you reply as you pick yourself up.

“Blast—Oh, that gives me an idea.”

“Don’t break anything,” you flatly call out.

You’re sitting down reading the newspaper in the longue room as the pitter-patter of hooves trying poorly to sneak around can be heard behind you. Rather than worry, you ignore her and grab your glass of water that was resting on the side table next to you.
Moonie muffles a snicker behind your chair which draws your attention to the water that is now a light shade of red. Taking a smell check, you’re guessing she added hot sauce to your water. You sigh as you get ready to drink it so you can play along.

“Oh, no! Why is my water so hot—“

You leap from your chair and begin to fan your tongue. Honestly it’s not all that hot but you need Moonie to think she got you good so these pranks can stop for the night.

“I GOT YOU,” cheers Moonie.

She leaps out from her hiding spot to jeer at you as you run into the kitchen for some milk.

“Looking for something?”

Moonie gives you a smug smirk as you see the milk is missing.

“Where is it?” you say, pretending to be in pained desperation.

“Admit I’m evil—“

“You’re the most sinister, villainous creature I’ve ever met. I’m at your mercy, my queen.”

Content, she uses her magic to reveal the milk, pour a glass, and return the remainder to the fridge. You drink the contents heartily as Moonie wander off. Once she’s out of sight, you give a sigh of relief, knowing these lame pranks will be over now.

“Moonie, bed time,” you sing out.

“Okay,” a distant Moonie replies.

As you predicted there hasn’t been another prank so you’re able to wander to the bathroom without checking for trip wires. You step in the room and are about to the use the toilet when you notice a blockage and your heart sinks.

“Moonie. Trixie. Which of you didn’t flush?“

You hit the button on the toilet and it doesn't go down. Instead it jams and the water begins to flow as you panic, unable to stop the rising tide.

"WHO DIDN'T FLUSH?!"

“THE MORTIFIED AND APPAILED TRIXIE WOULD NEVER!”

“Moonie?”

There’s a brief pause before a familiar scene plays out of Moonie sliding into the bathroom doorway with her water balloons once again poised to fire.

“EVIL,” she bellows as she launches them at you.

“That’s it!”

She darts off with a high pitched squeal of a laugh as you give chase. It’s a poor decision as you slip on the wet tile but you quickly rise to scramble after the trouble maker for the rest of the night.

Author's Note

I also drew a thing for this update

http://bradleyeighth.deviantart.com/art/Bubbles-659705543

62 Midnight Fishing

"Why is everything we do at night?" Moonie aimlessly asks, finally cutting the thick silence of the midnight air.

"Because... Well... Are you saying you would you rather we spend more time during the day?"

"No," she shakes her head furiously, "Just questioning our reoccurring theme."

"Then either because I'm just as much a denizen of the night as you, or because I work all day. Take your pick."

Moonie kicks her feet in the air as she rocks a little on her seat before she looks up at you curiously. You gaze back and try to smile which just earns you a suspicious glare.

"You are kind of a workaholic."

"How else do you expect me to pay for anything?" You respond, your voice slightly higher due to being a little offended at that.

"Again, just questioning your reoccurring theme. Here, recast it for me."

She holds out her little fishing rod for what must be the hundredth time tonight. You give her an unimpressed look but it doesn't phase her in the slightest.

"I'm bored, so I wind the thingy."

"I know, quit it. And you should be able to recast it yourself by now."

"I can, but you're better," she states with the cheekiest grin, as she knows you'll do it for her even after that remark.

"I really need to stop spoiling you," you grumble with a smile.

Moonie scoffs at you as you let the line soar through the air. You can hear the reel whirr as the line loosely asks for more before setting right in the centre of the pond. Then the tighten it a little before handing it back.

"You know..."

"Hm?"

"I'm not sure at what age the senile thing settles in for humans, but just in case, you know there's no fish in here?"

"You mean in the pond sitting in our backyard? The pond where I had to release the fish into the lake after you tried to make them build a statue of seaweed in your honour?"

"What do you mean tried?" an offended Moonie retorts.

"They were nowhere near close."

"I was still working on their training."

"If you want to train fish, do it without a whip."

"Mr Motivator has a name."

You stare her down this time, visibly unimpressed at her antics. Moonie stops pushing her luck as she realises this isn't one of those times where she gets her way.

"Really though, why are we fishing?"

"I don't know... I used to enjoy doing it on Earth, I think."

"You think?"

Moonie looks up you once more with a curious look, now with an added dash of disbelief. With a small blow of a raspberry, you decide to resign and begin to reel in your line as you really weren't enjoying this after all.

"Yeah. It's been so long ago I don't even really remember."

"Who cares?" She shrugs.

"I do."

"That place was lame anyway," Moonie states as she too reels in her line.

"And what gives you that idea?"

"I wasn't there," she cockily replies as she scoots her seat over so she can lean her head on your arm.

63 Get Some Sleep

As you lift the book from your face, dim moonlight allows you to peer down at the sleeping body resting her head on your shoulder. Moonie's soft and rhythmic breathing sends a small wave of warmth to your heart. Even with her mouth slightly agape to allow the tiniest puddle of drool to collect on you, you smile. Then you angle yourself gently to lift Moonie's head up and allow your escape. Once she is tucked in bed alone, you gaze back at the words of the book. Its black words grate on your eyes, causing a strain to even look at them further so you sigh as you return it to its place on the shelf.

"Long night?" You mockingly ask to your own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

You look over your face, pushing and pulling at the bags hanging from your eyes as if it might just disappear. The mirror begins to fog up from the hot shower water hailing down beside you, for a moment you wonder if you actually did turn it on. It takes a brief moment for you to recall what you did less than a minute ago, but once it does you step into the shower. It's a brief shower you sluggishly towel yourself off, drink a glass of warm milk, and head into your bedroom.

There on the nightstand rests a list you wrote for yourself. All of it are suggestions ponies have given you to help combat your sleeping trouble. You crawl into the covers and begin counting sheep. It's a method you've tried more times than there are sheep, but Granny Smith was adamant about doing it after a warm shower, and a glass of warm milk. She even gave you the milk for free after you told her you've tried them all before.

After who knows how long, just a time that feels like an eternity, you give up and begin to think to yourself before trying the next part of the list. Every so often, you would get nights like this. Where it'd be hard to fall asleep in the first place, or you'd wake up over and over in the night having to constantly wait to fall back to sleep again. In its own way, it's exhausting. Not in the way that helps with getting any sleep, mind you. Lately, however, these nights are becoming all too regular. Someone did say it was likely the stress of being the mayor getting to you, however, you've been doing it a while and if anything you were getting more sleep when you first started. Besides, looking after the tyrannical overlord formerly known as Nightmare Moon was far more stressful.

Parts of your body begin to feel heavy than the others. And while you kind of want to make note of it somehow, your own mind lets escape every thought your create. Like a spider's web with a hole, you are unable to catch anything. Even surface thoughts slip by you there. Though, as you continue to try and collect your thoughts, each image, feeling, musing, and every piece of concentration, you begin to pool together a consciousness. It feels like there is a force, similar to gravity, bearing down on you so that none of you may move. Even your eyelids feel heavier by the minute, like the bags beneath then are replaced with loaded suitcases. But you don't fight that. This is what you want. You give a croaky hum of joy as you feel like you're slipping away there.

Your mind begins to whirl over and over. Were it actually moving, you'd start to feel nauseated. Lower and lower you begin to sink as everything you are, falls down this ethereal drain. A sense of clarity begins to build as you roll into a more comfortable sleeping position. The air you're breathing through your nose is sharp and crisp as your eyes effortlessly open. You're wide awake.

"Forget it," you grumble in a huff as you twist upright to grab the list.

The letters dance and squirm on the page for a moment as your eyes try to recall what focusing is. 'Listen to music,' it reads. Your brow furrows as you try to recall who told you this one. The image comes to mind but it feels like it's caught. If you could shake your head like a magic 8-ball, maybe it'd float to the surface but the mare or stallion's face stays a blur. It is at this point where you grab a nearby pencil and scribble out Granny's suggestion and the following music idea. A deep and tense breath escapes your lips as you sit there at the side of your bed and look out to the darkness flowing from the corners.

"Food," you read aloud.

With a shuffle of your feet, you trail into the kitchen. There the refrigerator greets you. As does its near blinding light. You turn away suddenly, clamping your eyes shut. There you stand for a moment as you slowly open your eyes, just a portion to allow your eyes to adjust to this new affront. Once you're prepared, you look at the contents and wonder how long you've stood there. You've likely let out all the cold now.

"Just eat until you're full. That always makes me want to take a nap," the echo of Rainbow Dash's chuckles at you, "Though if I were you, I'd go for a run the morning after. Don't want to be packing on the pounds, yeah?"

You glare at the fridge as if it were Dash, being so unabashedly rude to you then slam it shut. As you glance down at the list resting in your hand, you decide it is best to abandon it. You probably miss the toss after you scrunched it up, but it's too late to care right now. Moonie's room now stands to your right, as you think about her sleeping peacefully. Quietly, you head inside.

There you rest on your knees by the side of her bed. Placing your head onto the mattress, you look up at her and hope by some divine will, you can steal some of that restful sleep. It takes time, you wait a while. But eventually, it does. And as sleep finally claims you, you let out one last, "Goodnight."

Author's Note

It's not much, I know. But it's all I could think to write. Hope you are all well.

64 Desiderate

You sit up on your chair, watching your little menace play as innocently as it gets for her. Poor Sir Bearington gets slammed into the ground by his feet then she violently swings him around before leaping up onto the couch to finish him off with a piledriver. Moonie leaps up onto her hind legs with her forehooves spread out, as if she's proudly showing off for a crowd.

"What?" Moonie defensively asks with a nervous laughter.

"Nothing, it's just interesting watching you play sometimes."

Now you've grabbed her attention as she leaves Sir Bearington a defeated heap and moves closer to your chair.

"How so?"

"I dunno," you shrug, "It's almost as if you're not like twenty times my age."

Moonie's face scrunches up at your remark.

"And how exactly is a millennia-old immortal supposed to play?"

"You know what I mean, stop trying to pick a fight."

"Pick a fight?" An overly offended Moonie barks, the tiniest hint of a smile peers out from the corners of her mouth, "I'm not trying to start a fight, you are!"

Now you lean back in silence and flick your book back open to the bookmarked page. Moonie, however, is not finished with you. She leaps up onto your lap and pushes the book away from your face.

"Yes?" You remark calm, feigning ignorance.

"You never answered my question," giggles Moonie.

You let out a brief sigh as you now know she's not letting go of this for some reason. For a moment, you wonder if she's offended by that remark about her age or if she's really just out to start conflict to amuse herself. But it's clearly the latter, it's always the latter with her.

"Normally, at least with humans, they muck about less when they get older--"

"Please, you're like a hundred and you still play with me."

"Well, that's different."

"How?"

"I have the maturity of an eight-year-old human. Nobody taught me to grow up."

"I don't know how humans mature with age or anything about you freakazoids," she scrunches her.

"Freakazoids?"

"Yeah, cause you're weird."

You laugh and let the topic die out, but Moonie remains seated. Her attention remains fixed on you as she gives you a look you've seen a million times before, she wants you to entertain her. Her hooves pad your lap and her eyes are beady with expectation.

"Speaking of not knowing anything, what was Equestria like a thousand years ago."

"Boring."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well, I don't know what is you're probing for."

"I'm not sure. I'm only asking out of general curiosity. What did people do, what did the place look like, how did they speak, and so on and so forth."

Moonie takes a moment to ponder your questions before slowly replying, "They did the same things I guess. I never left Canterlot at the time but that place has barely aged, except for the cafes really. As for how they spoke, that was always really funny."

"How so? Any funny words?"

"Everyone always spoke loudly because Luna did it, with lots of thy's and thou's."

"Like the days of Shakespeare pretty much."

"Who?"

"Famous writer back in the human world."

"Oh... How come you never told me any of his stories?"

"I'm willing to butcher stuff from movies and books, but not people like Shakespeare."

Moonie cocks an eyebrow at you but eventually shrugs and rolls her eyes at you before continuing.

"I can't really think of any funny words... It was more just how people spoke that was funny."

"Ah... Okay."

"Though there seem to be a few words I liked that are now gone."

"Like?"

Moonie leaps down from your lap and grabs Sir Bearington. She tugs and pulls at his limbs as she thinks to herself.

"Asunder was a great one. I think I've heard it once or twice, but I'm not sure on that."

"Asunder?"

"Yeah, like to put or tear apart. To be torn ASUNDER!"

"Heh, right. Of course you like that one."

"OH! Bibliopole was a funny one."

You let out a brief chuckle as it sounds almost like she stuttered and repeated a syllable there, but it might also just be the word.

"And that is?"

"A book merchant."

"Huh. Neat."

"Periapt, which is an amulet. Scaramouch, which is both a coward and a braggat. Egad, you'd use that to exclaim surprise pretty much. There's desiderate, Oh, yonder was another I liked. You use it like "over there," to wander over yonder."

She awkwardly rocks to herself for a moment then freezes when you speak.

"What's desiderate?"

"Desiderate?"

"Yeah."

She pauses and makes a few popping noises with her mouth.

"Well, I'd use it in reference to you."

"Like a guardian or caretaker?"

"No, it's a verb."

"Oh, okay. What's it mean?"

"Actually, that was an awkward way to describe it. Forget it, I don't really remember what it means."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep. Leaving it at that," she bellows and she scampers to her room.

"Guess I'll have to ask the princesses one day," you mumble to yourself.

Author's Note

desiderate
/dɪˈsɪdəɹeɪt/
verb archaic

To feel a keen desire for something that can be lacking or absent. To miss, to feel the absence of, to long for.

"I desiderate the company of someone I love."

65 Shadow Puppets

For whatever reason, the Pegasus ponies decided that there needed to be a small heatwave. It was to dry up the water of some flood or something like that, it was hard to listen as the heat had been affecting your brain at that time. Even late at night, like now, the heat refuses to waver.

"Move over Anon," shoves Moonie as she returns to the cool safety of the pillow fort.

You're not loaded, so you can't afford a decent way to cool your home, Moonie can't use a spell like that for long enough, and Trixie is off on a little tour. Instead you've made a small pillow fort, using sheets to seal it with a fan blowing cold air from a melting frozen water bottle sitting behind it. While outside is comparable to the deserts of Saddle Arabia, inside the fort is cool enough to prevent you from sweating more than a witness in a Phoenix Wright game.

"So, what should we do?" A bored Moonie asks.

"Sleep? It's late," you reply as you fall backwards onto the fluffy pillow-littered floor.

Moonie protests with noise in place of words, shocking her hooves into your gut until you sit back up.

"Ugh... I dunno any ideas?"

Moonie just quietly looks at you, waiting patiently. While it might seem uncharacteristic for her, she knows that sort of thing annoys you. So she sits there trying to hide that beaming of a grin.

"Here," you state as you grab a nearby flashlight, "shadow puppets."

"What?"

"You use a light and then make little shapes and animals with your..."

You cut yourself off as you stare at Moonie's tiny little stump-shaped hooves.

"My what?"

"Hands," you chortle.

Moonie gives you a heaving shove. But you're bigger and heavier than she is so you barely move.

"Look."

You flick on the light and point it towards a sheet, then you lock your hands together to cast a ball shadow before unfurling your fingers to look like a bird.

"Oh! That's neat. What else can you do?"

"Let's see, maybe a rabbit."

You do a basic bunny, two fingers for ears and bob your hand so it appears to hop.

"Ew, rabbits are pests. Something else," she excitedly replies.

"Dog?"

Once again you make the appropriate puppet, and even give your best barking noise which elicits a squeal of excitement from Moonie.

"Let me try."

"How are you going to do that?" you ask as Moonie tries pushing you aside.

"Watch," she grunts as she charges up her horn with a bright blue aura.

There's a small wind that causes the sheets to flap and flutter faintly as a blob seeps from her horn before it begins to weave and sculpt itself. You're rather impressed that she's made progress on her magic control.

"Woah, hang on--"

She's cut off by her magic imploding on itself. The blast is sturdy enough to knock you down, sends Moonie sliding across the room, and the pillows up into the air before falling into you.

"You're rebuilding the fort," you bellow.

"I didn't do it!" Moonie decries.

"And quick! I'm sweating already and I'm not looking to drown here."

66 Major Mayoral Stress

It seems like this mayoral job is determined to overwhelm you. With every passing minute comes in a new stack of paperwork to ensure done, and each stack brings news stresses.

The budget is getting tighter yet it's almost impossible for a day to go by without someone breaking something. Ponies come to you about trivial matters, like their kids are staying out too late like you're some kind of counsellor and they expect you to put a curfew out or something. And the stress doesn't end there, you go home to your own little terroriser. It doesn't help that she's on school holidays too.

"Oh... Yeah," you state aloud in dread as you notice the calendar at your side, "It's nearly the end of the year."

And somehow you're washed down with the reminder that this is Moonie's final year of school. Sure, she's got Trixie as a magic tutor but that's a side job for her. And she's been slacking at that too. You grunt loudly in frustration as you grip your face and pull.

"Uh, sorry sir, is this a bad time?" Calls the demure mare from your office door.

"No, come on in," you gesture as you stare at the unicorn magically carrying a new stack.

She pushes her messy blondish mane from her eyes and looks at you over her glasses.

"So... These," she says uneasily as she raises the stack, "They're application forms for the Gilded Giraffe."

"Thanks, could you put them here please," you reply as you point to the one empty spot on your large desk.

She does then gives an awkward nod before taking a few aimless steps to the side. You glance up at her to see her failing to sneakily stare at you.

"Yes," the mare suddenly stammers out before leaving hastily.

You're now alone and you pause for a while before remarking how odd she was. Then your head falls to the oaken desk with a light this as you resign yourself to your fate of endless work but refuse to muster more energy to do it.

"There's too much," you whine as you nudge your head into a more comfortable position and fall asleep from the fatigue.

A noise startles you awake. You look around to the darkened and lonely office, figuring you might have just snored too loudly. And a quick glance at the clock tells you that's it's far too late for you to still be hanging around the office. With a quick curse under your breath you behind shovelling everything away and grabbing anything you'll need to take home.

"Trixie made dinner," echoes a wry hiss from beyond the door.

"Moonie?"

"Oh, you do remember me. I thought you might have forgotten," she harshly jests.

You feel a bit of guilty, whether she means it or not, and so your spirits falter.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Swamped at work? I can tell," a hint of awe lines her voice as she gazes over the mountain upon mountain of paper.

"That's still no excuse for dozing off. How was dinner?"

"Trixie can't cook. It's any wonder how she has survived for so long. Anyway, what exactly does a mayor do?"

Moonie seems to be in disbelief of it all, and seemingly overwhelmed by it. Not that you don't blame her, you figure during her time as a dictator shed shovel this work to some other poor soul.

"Funny, come on. Let's go."

You flick the rheum from your eyes quickly and Moonie seems to take notice.

"Were you actually sleeping on the job? That's hardly fitting of the mayor!"

"Yes, well," you cut yourself off with a sigh as you find yourself still lacking any real energy. Even enough to jest, so you squat to speak plainly, "Look. Trixie might need to start cooking dinner a few more times so I can spend a bit more time here."

"Couldn't you hire an assistant or something? Like what you did for Minister Mare?"

"I've put out an ad, I've yet to get any replies. So until then--"

"But Trixie is my tutor, not my nanny," Moonie defiantly interrupts.

"And when was the last time you had a lesson? I'm not paying her to eat all our food. If I needed that done I'd just pay you," you jeer, poking her belly softly.

You do your best to smile and laugh but the lack of energy makes it a difficult endeavour. It's possible that exhaustion shows on you, either in your expression or your tone, as Moonie eyes you carefully.

"Everything okay?" Moonie seriously asks in a rare and shocking expression of consideration for another living creature.

"Tired."

Again she eyes you carefully, for a moment you think she will press the matter but instead, she leaves it be.

"I want dessert. And a lot of it, every night, if I'm eating HER cooking."

"No."

She gazes up at you, pouting fiercely. Her lower lip entirely engulfs her upper lip with a quivering wobble, a soft whimper hums, and her head rests gently on your leg.

"B-But your queen asked nicely."

"No, you didn't... And for the record this doesn't work, you're only getting dessert tonight because I wasn't there."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that. Nightmare Moon always gets her way," she gleefully skips ahead with a maniacal laugh.

You just shake your head with a low chortle as you shut out the office lights and lockup.

Once you're home, and Moonie has slobbered away some custard before conning ice-cream out of you too, you set down a couple forms on the table.

"Are you still working?" Whines Moonie.

"Yeah, you're right," you reply as the slide them back into your briefcase and walk away.

Moonie follows after you, her little hooves pitter-pattering in little skips to keep up with your long strides. Once you're in your room you fall onto the soft bed, your face swamped by darkness as you bury it into the quilt while Moonie leaps up beside you.

If you were hoping for peace, you're quickly reminded of why you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up in the first place as a squishy yet firm hoof prods into your cheek and makes gentle circles.

"Anooooon," cheerily chirps Moonie, the relish for your silent anguish drips from her words, "I'm bored."

Rotating your head, you gaze up at her with apathetic eyes. She's proud of herself for bothering you. You can hear a muffled cackle behind those pearly white-fanged teeth that have turned upwards into a bright smile. You resign yourself, sigh, and sit up.

"What do you want to do?"

Moonie plods onto the ground, tucking her hooves under herself as she stares upwards to ponder as if this were some serious philosophical topic. You notice she steals a quick glimpse at you before nodding, to show she has made a decision yet pauses for a moment longer.

"Read me to sleep," she finally answers as she invites herself to climb under your bed's covers.

"Which book? Or shall I make something up?" You dryly ask as you go to get to your feet.

"No, wait," utters Moonie excitedly as she magically grips the corner of your shirt, "I will make up a story for YOU tonight. Yes, your queen shall grace your lowly ears with a tale."

Curious, you lie beside her and wait.

"What are you doing?" She asks, bewildered.

You look around, confused then Moonie suddenly grips the quilt and throws it over you. Awkwardly trying to tuck you in.

"We're going to do this right. Understand? So get. Into. Bed," she says, emphasis on each word as she struggles to tuck you in without magic for some reason. Eventually, she succeeds resulting in you laying there like a bit of warming sushi.

"So, what tale will you regale me with?"

"Hmm, I think a story about a benevolent, night-loving mare who takes over the country for everyone's benefit."

"I want something else," you protest in a mocking tone.

"Don't interrupt," she giggles, slightly irritated as she jams a hoof into your face in protest.

You reply with a slightly mushed voice as Moonie's hoof starts pushing your face so it's difficult to speak or so you make a silly face, or likely both, "You do it all the time when I tell stories."

"Do you want a story or not?"

You go quiet and patiently wait. Moonie sighs then thinks for a moment more.

"Once upon a time, there lived a mare named..."

"Sunny. Miss Butts. James," you suggest as you fight back a yawn. Noticing a glare so fierce it might stab a hole in you, you make a serious suggestion with a shrug, "Melody?"

"Good enough," Moonie shrugs back, "Melody was a simple mare with a great power. But unfortunately, she lost her memory?"

"How?"

"She can't remember obviously. Don't interrupt. Melody wandered into this quiet and quaint town aimlessly, unsure where she was, why she was there, or what she should do."

"Did anyone come out to help this poor pony?"

"Yeah, a stallion, named..."

Moonie looks to you, waiting for another suggestion but her sneer suggests she isn't up for a gag so you just mention the first that come to mind.

"Smith."

"Smith?"

"Smith."

"But that's such a bland--"

"Smith."

"Fine, Smith," Moonie groans, "Found her. And the two of them... uh... tried to run a farm? Arg!" Moonie shouts in defeat, though you can tell by the faint smile she is trying to hide that she is amused too, "I give. This is too hard."

"Don't worry, I'll tell Miss Cheerilee to up your creative writing homework."

"Traitor," she hisses in a hushed voice.

You chuckle lightly as you close your eyes, a wash of ease creeps through your body and you begin to untense from some of the day's stresses. It's not something you were aware of until now, but you feel like sleep is actually achievable now. Feeling the grip of dreamland pull you in, you relax, until Moonie speaks up in a low muttering.

"I'm far too nice to you, you know," Moonie remarks as she settles down under the blanket next to you.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"I think I'll step up my evil for a few days. Gotta meet those quotas."

"Do, and you're grounded," you chortle once more, giving Moonie a little affectionate pat before rolling onto your side.

"You cannot order me," she says with a tired and drawn out yawn, "I am... Your queen."

You're not sure if either of you says another word, as fall asleep in a very sudden moment to dream wistfully of a life with more free time to spend like this.

67 What was that?

A tale of adventure, thrills, magic, and heroism weaves itself on words in front of you. Everything you want in life, but not in any physical capacity. Just in book form. There's some romance stuff but it's rather hamfisted and the characters don't work well together so you begin skimming over those pages not entirely soaking in the words. As you flick over a few pages of building up to a kiss that will never happen, your concentration half-heartedly checks in with reality to hear chewing.

"Are you... What are you eating?" You remark as you spy Moonie sitting in the lounge across from you happily munching away.

She shrugs.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Found it."

Now your attention snaps completely to Moonie. You dart to your feet which startles her a little, causing her to swallow.

"Found it?"

"Yeah. In between the couch here."

"Why would you eat that?"

"I was hungry."

"That could be anything," You bellow as you look at the multicoloured and undefinable shape.

"It was still warm."

"How is that a reason for eating it?"

This is the final straw however. Your mental wellbeing snaps. Though, you'd figure the final piece of foundation that was your mind collapsing in upon itself like an elderly man before the flight of stairs would cause you to get angry or something of the like. Instead, you just resign to fate and go get something that would be safe to eat for the two of you.

A few snacks like biscuits, cucumber sandwiches, and a side of tea served on a silver platter for her royal highness later leads you and Moonie to an impromptu picnic in the lounge room. As soon as she has her fill of proper food, Moonie darts off to leave you to clean up. Shouts from her room can be heard all the way into the kitchen of whatever imaginary game Moonie playing.

Moonie's voice echoes clear and firm in what sounds like impression of some news reporter, "The notorious gang known only as the Dingle Wang Gang have--"

"What was that?" You shout in between snickers.

"The Dingle Wang Gang?"

You laugh again. The name alone is enough to elicit a laugh from you.

"They're a feared and powerful gang," protests Moonie as she stamps a hoof, radiating the kind of offence only certain slurs can have on powerfully socially conscious.

"In which world? The land of Laffy Taffy?"

"Where is that?" Replies Moonie with a level of seriousness that throws you off momentarily.

"The Dingle Wang Gang--"

You cut her off with a chorus of laughter that's infectious enough to get her to join in. After a while, you catch yourself enough to compose and speak once more.

"Okay, tell me about the Dingle Wangs," you ask, impossibly managing to keep straight-faced.

"Well, the whole point of the Dingle Wang Gang--"

Moonie cuts herself off to try and stifle a laugh, fails, then turns her giggles into an angry groan with the speed of a clown circus in a Lamborghini.

"You ruined my gang," barks Moonie as she slams the door.

You smile and give yourself a pat on the back for your day's work of civil service.

69 Immature Giggling

Snow was falling, ponies were setting up decorations, groups of various vocal abilities swarmed to practice songs, and a multitude of events were being advertised on anything that wasn't already covered in posters.

You stare upwards at the towering human creature that calls himself Anonymous. You've always found it an odd name, but he is from another world so maybe it's normal there. Or maybe he changed it. A new world, a new name. Though if it were you, you'd go for something cool. Like "Clint Wheathooves" famed cowpony from the east that strode in on the sunset.

"Moonie, what are you doing? Anon asks, you can hear in his voice a struggle to muffle laughter.

Now you've become painfully embarrassed and self-aware of the fact you were taking a very confident strut before striking a pose as if you were Clint Wheathooves.

"Nothing," you begrudgingly reply as you try to compose yourself.

As the two of you walk down the street, you occasionally taking a faster pace to keep up with Amon's longer strides, you start thinking of days gone past. Once upon of time you were feared and respected. You could do anything you wanted and not a soul would dare find it amusing with that smug and cheerful grin. However, in a way, it was nice to have someone to joke with. But in every other way how DARE he make light of THE Nightmare Moon. Sometimes you wanted to just slap him with how much you enjoyed his company. Though it doesn't seem right. If only there was a better way to express that emotion.

"Maybe a kick," you mumble as you give Anon a slight sideways kick.

His strange spindly legs wrap around themselves like spaghetti and he just barely saves himself.from a tumble. From that height, he could have seriously hurt himself. Really why are humans that tall? Far enough for Princess Luna and Celestial, they had four legs to stabilise their height but he has two. It seems so inefficient.

"Moonie. Be careful," Anonymous growls in an authoritative voice. Likely aware but ignoring the fact that you deliberately did it.

You look away and click your lips a couple times to feign innocence. It usually works and this time is no exception it seems as you both carry on your way.

Again, you look up at Anonymous and repeat the "how dare he" line. Even how he calls you "Moonie" is evidence of his blatant disrespectful attitude towards you. Where is the Nightmare part? You earned that! And what's with trying to cutesy-ing up the Moon part? Moonie?

"I am not cute," you pout lowly.

Anonymous glances your way, a brow raised. You avoid his watchful eyes and skip a few steps to keep pace. Then the two of you walk by Sugarcube Corner, it now is overly decorated for the season in the usual Pinkie Pie fashion.

Now you glance up at Anon to see him furrowing his brow and giving the place a stern look and revel in it. That's right. That's why you get along. He's just much of a Grinch as you are. Being the horridly cheerful things that ponies are, is sickening. All this merry in material form is an affront to the eyes. And let's not forget all the constant friend stuff. You dry retch a little at the thought.

"Yup. Everything is awful and Anon knows it," you think to yourself with a nod. You almost think of the words kindred spirit, but quickly shake out such silly niceties.

"Ugh," Anon groans.

You give yourself a pat on the back, internally this time as you have already forgotten it far too many times so far. Being on the same wave-length, you take his groan of disgust as a sign to burn some of the decorations. Not much. Just a wreath. It'll be funny. With a hefty focus on your horn, you do your best to think of warm and flaming thoughts. Magic hasn't been your best subject ever since your fillyfication but when you concentrate, you get there. Sometimes.

"Hopefully today is one of those days where it's easier," you think to yourself.

It's not. It feels like your eyes are bulging out of their sockets with the force, your checks are bright red and sore from being puffed out and the rest of your face is going blue from the lack of oxygen as you hold your breath to focus all energy on a fire spell. Though with your usual blackest blue coat it's hard for people to tell you're holding your breath. It's the rosy cheeks and strained grunting that draws attention. And just as you get nearly every nearby pony's attention, you summon a flame on the wreath. Being made of dead plants, it easily combusts which is a shock to everyone as it is engulfed with a "whooff".

"MOONIE," angrily bellows Anonymous as he swats the wreath onto the ground, shovels some snow onto it before stamping the flame.

Once the flame has been snuffed out completely, Anonymous checks the ruined outsole of his shoe. Then he looks to you with an unwavering anger.

"Explain," he utters through gritted teeth.

"I... Thought it'd be... Fun?"

"Fun? To set the Cakes' shop alight?" Anonymous' voice now becomes more flat, more direct as he always does when he wants to probe your every intention before deciding your fate.

A fate you dread. It'll likely be filled with chores, disappointed stares, and public apologies. All just as humiliating as the last. Sure you could ignore it all, and most of you wants to, but when you think of possible outcomes for such defiant independence your heart drops through the floor. Anonymous probably wouldn't stick around if you did that. Why would he? He'd leave, and then you'd have to be independent, which means you'd; be alone, need to get a job, stop going to school, feed yourself, find a new place to live, and... And you'd be alone.

"Not the shop," you explain, "Just the wreath."

Your head hangs low, but you can see in your peripherals many ponies pretending to continue with their day but sticking around to steal glances of this spectacle. Your head falls lower. How dare they.

Anonymous seems to notice too, "Come on."

For a brief moment, your brain clocks out. Then it whirs with the realisation and you hastily try to catch up, skipping a few steps. Anonymous doesn't go far, he steps away from the town's square to a part more secluded and continues without missing a beat.

"Why just the wreath?"

"Because I hate all this stuff. And..." your voice trails away.

"And?"

You hesitate. Now you're angry at yourself, for not seeing it sooner. You got it wrong and you don't want to hear that aloud.

"And?" He repeats, still a lack of clear tone to his voice. And somehow that's worse. Knowing there is no judgement in his words yet.

"I thought you did too."

"You thought I hated the wreath?"

"All of it. The jolliness, the merriment, and the clutter of this fictitious holiday."

"And even if I did, does that make it okay to burn other people's belongings?"

"No," you grumble.

"Louder," he commands.

"No, it doesn't. I shouldn't have burned it."

There's a pause. Your words seem to hang in the air, the world around you freezes, and your heartbeat begins to chime like the ticking of a clock. It stays this way for who knows how long as each second feels like minutes. And still your words hang, like they need to be deemed worthy before anything else can happen.

"Good," Anonymous finally states, the edge falling from his voice.

You hear him take a breath to compose himself then he takes a step in some direction. You're not sure which as you find yourself unable to look up from the ground.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you hate all this stuff?"

Again there is a moment's silence. This time Anon seems to be clearly giving his words thought.

"No. It's definitely over the top. But everyone is happy. And that, is what matters."

His words ring through you, echoing across your mind as you repeat it to yourself.

"How can you?"

"What's wrong?"

"I thought you understood that. All of this. It's a useless holiday."

"I recall you enjoying the gifts," he jests, not seeming to grasp the seriousness in your words.

"But--"

You cut yourself off. Your eyes stay firmly planted to the ground as you scan it over like you will somehow find wherever your words have run off to. Now he seems to pick up on it. You're not sure what part of you has betrayed you, being read like a book is always uneasy to you.

"You know I don't entirely celebrate Hearth's Warming. With this sort of thing, people can do to their houses and business what they like."

"But you're the mayor. You could stop them decorating the public space."

"True," he nods, his tone now takes a sombre consoling tone. And though you will never ever admit it, it is soothing.

"But only a little," you lie to yourself.

"But the majority like it. And I'm an outsider enough as it is without me refusing to allow about their celebrations. Even if I wanted to."

Your eyes meet. Yours a firm and stern glare as you read him while his eyes are giving a softer smile than his actual smile seems to be.

"You never decorate our home," you state almost accusingly.

"Oh, yes. You'll never see that tripe in anything I own."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he nods, "I'm not really the... festive type. I enjoy a good party, and holidays like Nightmare Night are great. But this one? It's a little too much for me. I guess you've made me far too jaded about all things happy. I mean, I had a nightmare about rainbows the other night," Anon jokes, even pretending to shudder.

"Really?" You scoff in disbelief, "What about... Fluffy bunnies?"

"Foul vermin, lowly demons, but very nice pillows," he replies in an impersonation of your tyrannical voice.

You laugh and feel a sense of ease take over. It's a slow comfort but that's fine as far as you're concerned. The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon making fun of everything happy, joyful, and cutesy. While you do have a nagging feeling Anon didn't tell you his feelings in their entirety, and you make a mental note to press that some time, you know for sure he isn't fond of the festive season. Like you. And that's why you get along.

70 Beware The Bogeyman

As you walk down the hallway, you hear a crash and scatter of noise. You step inside with a sigh and rub your strained eyes.

"What are you doing this time?"

Moonie hangs from the ceiling by a rope firmly snagged around a hoof. The blood is already rushing to her head, making a clear rose-tinted show against her usual midnight coat.

"This is all according to plan," she lies, her tone daring you to challenge her.

"Right. Right, your highness. Let's get you down for now."

After a hesitant pause, she speaks, "Satisfactory service, as always. Servant."

"You know I'm your adoptive father, right?" You distantly reply as you try to recall what exactly was on those papers the princess had you sign so many years ago, "And the mayor."

"You make my food, clean my housing arrangements, and escort me to and from school. How is that not a servant? The mayor thing is just you as a figurehead," the braggart jests.

"I don't clean your room," you reply as you look over the mess that Moonie inhabits, "Though you will be. Today."

"You clean the rest of the house."

"Yes. Because I own it."

"And clean it to appease your queen. You may bow."

"Careful. I might start charging board," you remark with a wry smile.

"But I don't earn any--oh... You wouldn't," glares Moonie.

"Confident of that? As the mayor, I believe I could find you many jobs."

A puffy cheeked pout and stamping hoofs play out for a while as she does her usual bratty protest. And internally, you find yourself wondering how ponies were subjugated by the filly. Perhaps it was the size difference, or maybe they just didn't know how to handle her. Or both. You can just picture the scene now. A full-grown Moonie throws a tantrum, acts out by refusing to move the Moon and the ponies of Equestria gave her a golden throne so she'd stop.

"You used to call me your queen," Mumbles Moonie under her breath so you can't hear.

"Now... What is all this? Looks like you're trying to catch a bear."

"I might be. I dunno how big he is... Or she."

"What?"

"Well, I've only heard sounds. How can I discern gender from that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The bogeyman or bogeywoman that lives in the closet? Haven't I told you?"

"First I'm hearing about it."

"Oh... Could have sworn--Oh well. There's a bogeyperson in there."

Your first instinct would be to try and tell her that there is no such thing but seeing as you never got a grasp on what is and isn't real in a magical world of ponies.

"Are they real? Like really real? They were myth where I'm from."

Moonie shrugs, "I've never met one, but I believe so. Want to find out?"

You nod.

"Okay. See, at night I only hear noises. Rattling, groaning, and heavy breathing. I've tried opening the door, but it just gives under the bed with a gush of wind and when I look under the bed, it'll be back in the closet. And then it's just running in circles until I pass out on the floor."

"Right. So traps?"

"How else do you catch a monster?" She answers in a matter-of-fact kind of way, "Are you in or out?"

The two of you have set up a makeshift fort of sheets and rope with a small window, which reminds you of a hunting blind. You've also got a few snacks taken out of their packets and placed on a pillow so there is no noise as you rummage for the salty crisps. You chew very slowly on one as you wait in the dark. Beside you, a once bouncy Moonie has begun to slowly doze off, her head bopping up and down in her attempts to fend off sleep. As you don't really believe in a bogeyman, you leave her be. If she falls asleep then you can just tuck her in and head to bed yourself.

"I'm awake," stammers Moonie in a daze.

"Somehow, I don't think your bogeyman is coming," you reply.

"Do you think we should bait him with something?"

"Ow! Me bloomin' toe," screeches a third voice.

For a moment you look toward the hallway before you realise that Trixie isn't here tonight, she doesn't have toes, and the voice came from the closet.

The door bursts open and out hops a little man in a hood clutching is green clawed foot before the rope snare latches around his other foot and hoists him into the air. He gives another gruntled yep of pain as his head slams onto the ground before his ascent.

"WE GOT HIM," Moonie cheers.

Looking at the upside-down creature, you'd say he looks like a goblin. His large green ears poke out of holes in the side of his hood, a large hooked and warted nose looms from the dark miasma that masks his face, and long bony fingers are thrusted in the air as he surrenders.

"Don't hurt me," the critters pleads.

"Anon! Look," Moonie excitedly beams, ignoring the creature's gravelly squeak of a voice, "He came out the closet."

"I did not," it defensively states, arms crossed over its chest.

"You did too. How else would my trap have gotten you?"

"Oh! Ya mean in thatta way. Well, then, yer. How else do ya expect me to hide away in ther' what with all that stuff jus' crammed in?"

"He made me clean my room," Moonie gestures up to you.

"For shame sir. Do you ever think of other beings wellbein'?"

"What?"

"Anon, Anon!" Interjects Moonie as she tugs on a pant leg.

You crouch down to her level so she can whisper.

"Can we keep him?"

"What?! No."

"Why not?" She whines with her famous bratty stamp.

"You can't even water the garden when I ask you to."

"That's because it's not mine."

"I can hear you two, ya know?" The bogeyman flatly comments, "And I ain't no pet."

"What are you then?" You ask as you examine the creature once again.

For some strange reason, it seems like there is a black fog billowing around its face and yet, you can feel two beady piercing eyes from beyond it staring back at you. In all the oddness of this creature

"A bogeyman, obviously."

"And why... Why were you in the closet?"

"Under the bed is a little too cramped."

There's a brief pause as his deadpan reply catches you off guard, "Okay... but why?"

"Why? You might as well ask why is the sky black? Where do stars come from?"

"I make them."

"You make stars?" the Bogeyman asks, his eyes widen and you find yourself creeped out at somehow being sure of that information.

"Well, did before I was usurped."

"Usurped? So you were like... a king or something?"

"Queen," Moonie corrects it, bluntly.

"Oh, wow. It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness."

"Right. That's enough of that," you state flatly as your brain begins to overload.

You grab the bogeyman and shove it back into the closet, tuck Moonie into bed before retreating into the safety of your bed.

You awake in the morning, your mind still whirring as it struggles to come to grips. Muffled laughter comes from Moonie's room, so curious, you open her door. There you see the bogeyman, sitting down at Moonie's tea party table that she painted black with "blood" red splotches. The two look up at you.

"What are you doing?" You wearily ask.

"Enlisting," the two chorus back.

"Right," you resign, your mind just ignoring reality for a while, "If I catch you in this house again, I'll start charging rent. Including backpay."

The two of them poke their tongues as you close the door.

Author's Note

As I said in my latest blog post, I was thinking of converting all Moonie shorts from second into third. Though what with there now being 70 chapters that'd be a fair bit of work. So I thought I'd ask you guys.

If everyone would prefer it, then sure. Otherwise, it'd be a wasted effort.
So please click http://www.strawpoll.me/14646247 and vote. Or don't. You're a strong independent human being who don't need no poor-quality writer telling them how to live their lives.

71 I SUMMON THEE

"Oh, demons from the beyond," cackles Moonie from the side of your bed, "I call upon thee... Beseech? Look, I want something. From any of you with the power really, I'm not fussy."

You move your head slightly from your pillow to peer over to the filly on the floor who is dressed in a strange garb that looks like a shrine maiden. Almost. A shrine maiden if she were about to go vampire hunting or something. Once you let out what barely sounds like a croak of irritation in a vain attempt to ward of disturbers of sleep, you bury your head back into the pillow.

A heavy lullaby still grips you like a starving Bengal tiger that just wandered into an orphanage full of kids too malnourished to run. So rather than do anything but hope you can get back to sleep, you watch. Well, you actually listen as your eyes are still too sensitive to the light and you need to keep your head buried in a pillow, unmoving. As far as Moonie is concerned, you're still asleep so she raises her voice an octave.

"I offer to you, oh being of terror and torment, this sacrifice. A... Well, it calls itself human but I can't be entirely sure. They're not even mythical, just alien. I just call him Anonymous, or peasant for short."

"Wht hf I toll yew abt his?" You muffle into your pillow.

"What?"

With a sigh, you cock your head to the side once more but keep your eyes closed for fear of the light as if its burning sight will make you unable to return to the plane of slumber like a holy retribution for allowing the evil ritual in your room.

"You are to stop trying to sacrifice me."

"But what if I get something really good?" Moonie protests with a stamp of her hoof.

"No."

"Like maybe a big grilled cheese toastie," adds Moonie, ignoring you.

"I'd like to think I'm worth more than that," you grumble lowly so Moonie can't hear however in your sleep deprived state, she does.

"Yes but obviously I'm not going to get market value, otherwise the demons would never make a profit. Where is your sense of stable economic bartering?" Moonie scolds.

"Right," you reply dismissively as you sit up, "What do you want?"

"Food, you peasant. Obviously. When is it ever anything else?"

Moonie rolls her eyes and heads off, likely to the kitchen. You groan, almost as if in pain, and sit on the side of your bed where your feet dangle down and slip into the tomato sauce Moonie has used to draw a large seal around your bed.

"Moonie, you're cleaning this. Now!" You bark.

"NO!"

"Then you'll starve," you command without any real conviction.

"Then I'd die and rule over hell where you couldn't tell me what to do and then when you die your soul would be subject to MY ETERNAL RULE," she bellows, and you could swear you heard a thunder crack during the last part of her sentence.

"You wouldn't rule hell," you reply as you shuffle into the kitchen.

"Even if that was true, which it isn't, it'd still be preferable to here. Pitchforking tormented souls, orchestral screaming, and all the other horror-based delights," Moonie squeals with a shudder of glee.

"And you'd enjoy all that?"

She nods enthusiastically.

"Then that wouldn't be hell."

The smile on her face quivers, "what do you mean?"

"You're meant to suffer there... No, for you, hell would be boredom. Like you've never experienced before. For you... It'd be like a... Well, like a job. You'd be constantly filling out forms from an inbox that is eternally full, listening to nothing but a clock's ticking with hands that never move, breaks with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling to count the fan's rotations, and customer service!"

Moonie screams.

"What is wrong with you? How can you imagine that? Oh, you are sick!"

Author's Note

Well, unanimously the poll was decided I'd say.
14 say keep it.
13 say they don't care either way.
3 say yes.

72 Witch Rites

"Remind me what I pay you for?" You remark to Trixie begrudgingly as you start your tie over for the fifth time unable to recall how exactly any one of the twenty ties you can't do go.

"To eat your food and something about magic school," A snarky Trixie says behind a mouthful of food, chunks of whatever she is trying to digest before you kick her out of the kitchen fly out and onto the floor.

"Right," you mumble under your breath, "Moonie, you best be ready by now."

It's the school holidays, and by some magic trickery, Trixie conned her way out of looking over Moonie today.

"Please tell me we are doing something interesting," Mumbles Moonie moodily.

Her mane lacks its usual flowing glow and luster as suitcases hang from under her eyes as if to loudly boast of the late night she had. It's any wonder what she was up to, though it likely involves some kind of mischief.

"Well, at some point today we'll need to venture into the Everfree."

Moonie's eyes bulge in excitement, leaving the rest of her face in its sleep deprived annoyance.

"Why?"

Her voice lacks any emotion that isn't excitement. In fact, it's not hard to see her heart thrashing in its cage wildly and her eyes almost run all her crazy imaginations like a slideshow across themselves.

"There's an old witch up there. I need to check in on her, get a few things signed, and whatnot."

"Why?"

You furrow your brow as you experience a brief episode of anger resurging by recalling all the times she has asked why to the point of breaking.

"Because she has asked for a few permits for a few things but can't make the trip."

"Oh," a dejected Moonie replies, "I was hoping for something cool. Like she unleashed a demon and started consuming things. Or a bad batch of potions. Maybe a curse has thrown the town into an endless slumber."

"What exactly do you think a mayor does?"

"Valiant defender and guardian of the realm with a lot of paperwork to do," she lies.

"Hmm... You're half right."

You begin walking towards the office but Moonie's many questions on the witch, usually circling around when, causes change course to head into the Everfree Forest.

As always, the woods are covered in plant life that likely have minds on their own. Trees grow anywhere that isn't the pathway; vines, moss, and varieties of fungi grow on the trees all the while bushes and other shrubbery grow in between.
Little shapes and shadows leap across the corners of your eyes. And it feels like eyes are looking back from beyond the dark every time you look into it. But none of this phases you. Moonie, however, is loudly yelling about all the monsters you may happen across in the forest.

"And there are meant to be hydra here too. Great big things, with lots of heads. Legend goes, if you cut one off then two more take its place. I bet the one here has, like, a thousand heads.

"You know when we get to this mare's house. I want you on your best behaviour."

"What could I possibly do?" She says, feigning being wounded.

"I'm not giving you ideas."

"Does she live near Zecora?"

"No, otherwise we'd be on the main track."

"Huh, I thought this was smaller. How come they don't live near each other? If they're both witches. Oh! Do you think witches have turf wars?"

You screw your nose up at Moonie, "Turf wars? No. And don't let Zecora hear you call her a witch."

"Why?"

"She used to cop that title a lot when she first lived here. And enchantress, as well as a few others. I'm pretty sure shaman is the union-prefered term. So you call her a that or by her name, got it?"

"What do you think she'd do if I called her a witch?"

"If she was in a bad mood?"

The two of you meet eyes and shudder as you repress every thought that just appeared.

"Is that the place?" Moonie shrieks as you arrive at the shabby little shack.

You nod so Moonie scampers off to be the first to knock. As you look over the joint, you remark how out of place it seems in the forrest. In a strange way, it was like the house was made elsewhere, for another forest, but just got up and walked here. You shake your head as you arrive at the doorstep, just in time for the witch to open up.

"Ah, Mr Mayor. I've was expecting you later in the afternoon," the elderly mare states in her low gravely voice.

"Uh, Mayor is the title, my name is Anonymous and I am sorry about all this. I had to," you pause for a moment and glance down at Moonie who is giddily bouncing on the spot, "Move my schedule around a bit today. Is it a bad time?"

"Not at all. I had a feeling you'd be the early type. Do come in."

She leads you into a little sitting area and remarkably, the house which seems bigger on the inside, is also big enough to accommodate your size. While you could have sworn on the outside the shack was unusually small, you're able to stand straight and still have leagues of room between your head and the exposed roof joists.

"Hm, that explains it," mumbles the witch.

"Explains what?"

"Hm? Oh," she replies, seemingly taking in Moonie's presence for the first time, "Just noting about the thing with the name Mayor. Your friend here looks nothing like the old Mayor."

"Mrs Applefire, this is Moonie. My adoptive daughter. And Moonie, this is Eskarina Applefire. Behave or she will turn you into a newt."

Mrs Applefire chuckles forebodingly as she eyes Moonie who just looks back in wonder and daring. Daring her to do it. While Mrs Applefire is an elderly unicorn there was still a beauty to her. Her light purple coat was smooth though worn, while it was partially in a net you could still see her fire red mane flowed into its golden yellow tips, and she had a bit of makeup on around the eyes.

"Where is your hat?" brazenly asks Moonie.

"My hat?"

"Yeah, your witching hat. Every witch needs one, how else would you know they're a witch?"

Mrs Applefire smiles fondly, "I left it in the scullery, let me go get it and while I'm at it I'll fetch us some tea."

Moonie beams up at you.

"Skulls!"

"It's not what you think," you hastily reply. But it's too late.

Moonie darts off after Mrs Applefire to sneak a peek into the mare's scullery only to return in a defeated slump. She sags into her chair and begins to pout. There's a hanging silence before Mrs Applefire returns, donning her witch hat, with the tea floating above her. She passes you your cup and sits opposite you then wastes no time going into business. You hand a few forms for her to sign and make sure she understands what she is agreeing too. It's all boring mayor stuff so Moonie just rolls about on her seat.

"Well, thank you for coming out all this way," Mrs Applefire cheerfully comments.

"Not a problem, I was in the neighbourhood anyway."

Mrs Applefire laughs then turns to Moonie, "I 'spose you have some questions for me."

This perks Moonie right up and sends her firing off a barrage of questions. Any normal creature would be thrown off, but Mrs Applefire stayed calmed and answered them all just as quickly.

"Do witches have turf wars?"

"Used to. We have a rule now, one witch per region."

"Can you actually turn people into a newt?"

"Temporarily."

"Do you take apprentices?"

Now you seize the moment and pull Moonie out the door.

"Well, we best be off," you state nervously.

"Fair enough. Oh, one last thing. Could you deliver this to Mrs Cake. Tell her it's the 'Mr. Once-A-Fortnight' potion she asked for?"

"What's it do?" Moonie innocently asks.

"We don't need to know. That's private. Come on," you say hastily, pushing Moonie along.

"Farewell, you two," Mrs Applefire waves with a warming smile.

73 There's always something

As you glance at the piece of paper, eyeing it carefully for something you've missed, you tap your pencil over and over on the desk.

"Whats up?" Moonie asks nonchalantly as she enters the room.

You glance upwards then to Moonie who gives you a glaring warning.

"Just making a list," you resign, deciding you've already riled her up without even making the lame joke.

"For what?"

"Things I need to pack."

Again you run down the list as you feel the pessimistic pressure that you've forgotten like so many things in the past. There is always one thing you forget. And you'll never think of it until you're on your trip, doing nothing. Then you get the honour of spending the rest of the day annoyed with yourself for letting something so obvious slip through your mind like a broken sieve.

"Where are we going?" she probes while snacking away on a bar.

"I am going to Canterlot, for Mayor stuff. You are staying here with Trixie."

"Why?" she stomps with puffy lips.

"Because you have school, and I need a reason to be paying Trixie."

"Just fire her," her tone is cold and distant.

"That's far too harsh, I'm not doing that."

"Why not?"

"Because she's useful to keep around, even if she's lazy. Maybe that's why you two get along so well."

"I do NOT get along with her."

Her defiant words ring out but their meaning is hollow. You think of all the times the two have magic lessons or when they collaborate on a bit of mischief together. They argue sometimes but it's always over benign stuff and neither means any threat they throw out though they both know that, they'll never admit it. Another thing they'll likely both never admit is that they act rather like bratty sisters together. But you wonder what they're like when you're not around. You make a mental note to try and find out one day.

"Keep telling yourself that," you reply dismissively.

"Let me come, it's my last year of school anyway," her sing-song whine continues.

"All the more reason for you to stay. You'll have to get a job after that, or further education."

"But Trixie gets to freeload off you."

"She doesn't, she helps around the place. More than a certain someone. Besides, when was the last time you saw me clean around here? Or do the food shopping?"

"You did the dishes last night," Moonie says matter of factly.

"Okay, aside from that. You know she's been helping. Plus she does pay board here."

"You let her move in?"

"She's been here how long now? It's not permanent, just until she figures it time to move on to the next town. I told you this--Do you ever actually listen to me?"

"What?"

You turn back around to the desk.

"Wait-wait-wait! That was a joke, I'm listening. I am!"

"You better be."

"So you'll let me come to Canterlot?"

"No."

Moonie's crusade to wear you down until you let her come with becomes seemingly endless. Without tire, she asks the question again and again. Though your responses are slowly getting increasingly irate, you hold firm. Then suddenly, the day before it's time for you to go.

"Can I go?" the relentless filly pops her head out of her room to ask.

"Moonie, for the last time, I said no."

"Fine," she concedes before slamming her door shut.

The slam echoes in the house for a moment before silence falls and along with it, a sense of foreboding. You're expecting the question to come barraging back sometime in the day. After a week of constant questioning, you know Moonie isn't the type to give up now.

For the rest of the day, everything Moonie does is missing its usual flair and lustre. Her feet drag lightly as she walks, Sir Bearington rides on her back like she is some common horse, and she does everything you tell her without question or even a hint of her typical brattiness. You know what she's doing. The classic guilt trip. And despite that, you feel a little bad.

The big day comes. You pack up all your things as you check them off your list. Even after adding a few things, you're still adamant you're forgetting something.

"Come on Moonie," you call out.

She looks up from her bed in a bit of confusion to see you holding two bags. One large, clearly yours while the other is decorated in Moonie's trademark night sky motif. With a squeal of excitement, she leaps off the bed and grabs both her bag and Sir Bearington before making a dash for the door. You do brace yourself for some bragging or showboating, but it seems Moonie doesn't want to risk it. At least, not until she's on the train. Then her little cheer begins.

It's a short ride, but you're still glad once it's over and you can get to your hotel.

"I thought we'd be staying in the castle?"

"Why?"

"Because this is a mayor thing."

"Yes, not a royal thing."

"Did you upset one of the princesses?"

"No. I just don't want to bother them for a room each time I come here."

"In the castle that has like fifty spare rooms."

"There's not that many."

"I think I'd know. It used to be mine once upon a time."

"You're also prone to exaggeration."

She blows a raspberry at you as you finally enter your room. Then as you step inside you pause as you realise something.

"What is it?"

"Shaver. That's what I forgot," you grumble.

Moonie rolls her eyes.

"There's always something."

You continue to be sour as you place your suitcase up on the bed, then with a great heave, Moonie throws her bag at yours which causes a pop sound from your case.

"What was that?" you ask as you open it up.

"No-no! Don't!"

But it's too late, you open it up wide for the smell of the stink bomb that just went off to permeate through the room and invade your nostrils with its nauseating smell. It's like it rotten eggs decided to spend an entire week sweating up a storm before bathing in whatever smell skunks make and deodorise with a stick of that really weird french munster cheese.

"Oh, sweet moon above, I am out of here."

"No, you get back here little miss," you bellow as you stamp after the scampering filly.

74 A day in Canterlot

Anon leans down to look into the hotel's mini fridge and peruses the contents. After thinking for a bit, he decides on a soda can. Just as he opens the can with one of his dexterous fingers, you fire up your magic, and the soda can's contents spray out all over him.

"Okay, now I KNOW it's you doing that," He says as he tries to peel his sticky shirt off himself.

Your gut begins to hurt as you laugh even harder.

"Sometimes you get cans like that," you lie to him mid-inhale for much needed oxygen.

"Moonie, you were sort of convincing at home but it's not working here. I saw your horn glow."

As you roll onto your back, laughing heartily, you kick and flail your legs about in childish glee. It's been a month of this. Sometimes, you make the cans just fizz a lot, or spray, and a couple times you have them only make a loud sound to cause Anon to flinch.

"Right, well, I can't go out like this," he groans as he finally strips the wet layers and replaces it with a new clean white dress shirt.

"How much longer have you got?" You ask, glancing at the clock.

Anon notices the time too, takes a big gulp of his drink then hands it to you before rushing out the door as he tries to do his tie.

"Oh, and behave. I won't be long," he states after reopening the door.

You roll your eyes. There isn't much mischief you can get up to in a hotel room all by yourself. Well, there is but you've never seen Anon truly angry and something about the bill for wanton destruction of a nice hotel room would likely see that you do.

"What is the plan, my queen?" Sir Bearington asks with a bow from the chair you left him on.

"Uh... I guess keep busy for an hour, then go cause menace outside somewhere."

"Is that wise? Sir Anon is likely to be cross."

"Did he really think he could take me to a whole new town and contain the horror that is NIGHTMARE MOON!"

As always with great minds such as your own, boredom sets in quicker than a paper mache cast under the summer sun. The analogy brings to mind the time you pretended you had broken all four legs as an excuse to get out of school on an exam day. But Anon just borrowed a wheelchair and left you at school in the casts all day.

"Slave driver," you grumble trying to be bitter but hindsight has made the ordeal a little funny.

You step outside with Celestia's sun hanging brightly overhead. There's something odd about it, you feel. Perhaps it's the fact that you're in Canterlot, so close to the one in control of it but it feels watchful. Like some great fiery eye searching the domain to make sure order is being upheld. Of course, you know that's not possible. During the time you spent "with" Luna, you couldn't do that sort of thing with the moon. Then again, they are two different rocks.

After doing a wonderful job of building on your own paranoia, you dive under some shade and venture about the town while making a game of staying out of the light as much as possible. Kind of like how some fillies will skip over cracks for fear of breaking their mother's back. Then you notice a small crack in the pavement. You eye it carefully and think.

"In my case... Would 'mother' be Anon... Or Luna?" You think grimly as there isn't really any other candidates.

The strange conundrum rattles about in your mind until it becomes boring and opt for just carrying on with your day. You often tend to subscribe to the principle of 'Oakram's Razor' where if any question doesn't have an easy answer, it's just a headache.

A mare of snobbish upbringing gasps at the sight of you in the middle of her brunch.

"What is the matter, dear?" Her fellow bruncher asks in that slow and overly-enunciated drawl that the 'upper-crust' always seem to have before looking to where she is pointing, you.

"Oh," you say with a wry grin, "You two can see me?"

They both take a gulp and nod in unison. Slowly. Beads of sweat begin to cascade off their foreheads like shooting stars which causes your devilish ego to grow three sizes in that moment.

"After my defeat, my ghost has been wandering these grounds plotting my revenge. If you two can see me then I'll be needing... YOUR SOULS," you break out into a mirthful cackle, ensuring to flash your shark-like teeth, as the brunchers shriek before breaking into a panicked getaway.

You make a hasty getaway yourself as you do not wanting to be around when they try explaining to onlookers. It always adds to that dramatic effect.

You're not sure how exactly your wandering led you here but you stand at the castle gates. The pearly white walls stretch into the heavens and seems inviting if it weren't for the golden gates baring the way. The scene almost is reminiscent of some holy scene so often depicted. Everything looks so carefully sculpted from the castle bricks to courtyard lawn, as well as the statues and flora that lead all the way up to it. It'd be an even more spectacular view if it weren't for the two guards at the gate. One of which has a lazy eye that he tries to focus on you, switching between them in a constantly distracting and confusing pattern to any who'd politely try to look him in the eye.

"Oi, this ain't no place for a filly," a guard states in a guttural accent.

"What was with the double negative?"

"Double negative?" The second guard asks, his accent being a little cleaner but still a hard to hear clearly.

You shoot both an exploratory glare to find that they're both genuine in their bewilderment.

"I guess standards have fallen a bit in the past millennia," you loudly mumble to yourself so they can hear.

"Look, I don't know what you're on about little miss but you best be on your way."

"Why?"

"Because this is no place for little ones."

"Why?"

"Well... It's a castle Innit?."

"So?"

"Well... Uh, you tell her, Sarge.."

"It's cause this is where them Princess live. And all them dip-lo-mat-ic dig-ni-tari-es," he says taking careful notice to sound each syllable as if he isn't quite sure of what he is saying himself followed by a confident nod.

His fellow salutes him then they both look at you in wait for your retort.

"So, you're saying... It's no place for a child because of all the adulting?"

"No, the adulting in on Grope Street--" one guard goes to say before the other deliberately coughs very loudly.

"You alright Sarge?"

"Constable, that ain't any sort of talk to be having with no filly."

"There you go again. Double negative."

"Whattsat?"

"It's any sentence that has two negative words," you sigh as you think of the simplest way to explain it, "Basically the two negative cancel each other out making the sentence a positive. When you said, ''that ain't any sort of talk to be having with no filly." What that ends up meaning is "that is the sort of talk for a filly." Understand?"

Two guards look at each other then the one called Sarge says, "If that's the case, then how come you knew what we meant?"

Again they share a look, giving a confident grin as if they just won the war.

"You know, they're saying Nightmare Moon has returned."

"What?" The guards say in unison.

"Yeah, over in the food district or whatever it is. Lot's of cafes," you mention without much conviction as you feel you don't need to expend the energy to convince these two.

"Well, we better get over there then Constable."

You chuckle a little as they buy it.

"Hang on Sarge, how will we know if it's her? I've never seen what she looks like."

"Good question... I guess--"

"She looks like me, only taller. Good looking. Wears battle armour."

"Right, there we go! If we catch her, I bet we'll get promotions."

"You mean, I'll become a Sergeant?"

"What?! No! You'll be a Senior Constable, otherwise you'd be skipping like three ranks there."

"Senior? But I'd not even that old."

"I swear lad, you're a bit slow sometimes. Just--Come on."

The two guards scurry off like some kind of comedy routine and as they disappear into the horizon, you feel the tension leave with them. And then you open the gates, and begin to wander the once familiar halls of Canterlot Castle.

You peer through door after door to gather your bearings and then head to nowhere in particular. An idle thought of checking the throne room crosses your mind but you'd rather just walk until you find someone else to subject to your presence.

"Good afternoon Moonie," voices someone who sounds warm and motherly.

When you spin around you see the towering figure of Celestia, smiling at you. And the worst part about her smile, is it seems genuine.

"Ah, my most hated and vile arch enemy. BUTTlestia," you mock as you poke your tongue at her.

She laughs softly.

"Anon is right, you have a charm to it now."

"A what?"

"The adorable brattiness. It suits you well," Celestia beams, "Oh, I mean no offence by it. I like it."

"No! Loathe me," you bellow.

Your voice echoes down the hall for a bit then silence falls. Then, with a confident swagger, Celestia walks on. Her hoofsteps echo too as she passes you and then she pauses a ways away from you.

"Aren't you coming?"

"Where to?" you asks with distrust.

"To Anon."

Oh, lead on peasant!"

Celestia giggles again then two of you walk side by side. You take note of the fact that she is walking a little slowly so your normal pace keeps up with her. It makes you wonder if this is just a natural reflex for her or if she's being polite to you. Then you internally dry retch at the 'p' word.

"I believe he should be in here," Celestia whispers as she peers through a crack in two large golden doors.

You peer inside too to see a large table with various creatures around it. Most are ponies but you note there also a yak, minotaur, two griffons, and Luna at the table.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, just a fiscal meeting. A little boring to be perfectly honest."

"That's it?"

Celestia nods.

"Then why aren't you in there?"

"Luna wished to represent Canterlot. Fine by me, then I can have a bit of fun."

Your ears prick up at the possibilities, "Like what?"

"Like pouring a bit of purple-burple potion into Luna's lunch."

There's a bit of a pause while you take a moment to imagine the scene, and then another moment to muster your willpower so you don't laugh.

"One day, you and I need to collaborate."

"I look forward to it. Now, have you eaten?"

At lunch, you caught wind of Celestia's foreshadowing and switched the drinks only to find Celestia thought you'd try that. And in the end you both ended up purple-burple'd. So the two of you spend lunch trying to eat in between all the laughter and burping when Anon arrives.

"I heard the echoes of burping down the hall and figured you had to be here," he remarks, trying to hide a smirk.

"Celestia *burp* did it!"

"Oh, Moonie. How impolite to go around *burp* I do apologise," Celestia states in her most formal and innocent tone.

She slyly shoots a grin your way to let you know she's going to get out of this and you aren't. You would smile at the surprisingly devious Princess if it weren't for the fact she is throwing you under the cart.

"You know what... Let me have a go," Anon laughs with his hand outstretched.

75 The Train Ride Home

The train carriage rocks and rattles along the tracks as the scenery whizzes past in an ever changing sea of colour. Moonie stands on her hind legs as she peers out the window, amusing herself somehow. So, as all busy bodies seem want to do, you take it as a chance to get some paperwork done and pull out your glasses. Just as the rim sits upon your nose, Moonie whirs around to glare at you.

"How is it that you always have paperwork? I swear not even Minister Mare did this much when she was the mayor."

"I've got a few other roles, not just as mayor." You eye over a few 71T's and sign a quick 45S.

"Like what?"

"Confidential," you tease, tilting the forms blatantly out of her view.

"You need a hobby," grumbles Moonie from the sides of her mouth.

With a sigh, you firmly slap your paperwork into your lap and remove your glasses to shoot a scowl at her, "I have work and you, where abouts could I fit in a hobby?"

"You could take a day off work," she replies with her back to you.

"I do if you recall. That's when you and I go for lunch, muck about, or go on a trip. I took that extra day in Canterlot for the two of us to wander about."

"As I recall, you weren't going to take me on this trip to begin with."

Now her words are biting a little. While at first you thought you were doing a playful back and forth to make light of what could be a serious topic, now that you've caught on a bit, you quickly harden your tone.

"Look, I know I work a lot. Back where I came from I had many distractions so I never did much really."

"What do you mean?"

"Like TV," Moonie gives you a blank gawk until you add, "The slideshow box?"

Moonie nods when she fishes the recollection from the deepest recesses of her mind.

"People used to make millions of movies and so you could watch these stories unfold as the hours drip away. There's none of that here, so l... I guess I learnt how to distract myself in something productive instead."

"What is the point of a movie anyway?"

You give it some thought. It was hard enough to explain what a TV was to her the first time around, let alone the purpose. Moonie often seems to have a limited attention span, if things can't be explained simply then she doesn't find a reason to listen. A trait you have since been conditioned to. So many explanations and lectures cut short once you felt you said enough as you knew that was all you needed to say.

"Okay, you read a book and you imagine the scene right?"

Moonie nods.

"Well, no two will imagine the same scene. You might imagine ponies while I'll think of humans for the characters. Some people add in a background, with curtains and the such while others won't as they want to focus on the foreground, plot, or who knows what else."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, if you made a movie, I could see how you see the world. Even the angles you want me to see show how you want to illuminate certain scenes or ensure how I follow something."

"Oh, so you watch a movie to let someone else's mind do the imagination?"

"Uh, yeah, more or less."

"Are all humans so willing to be unimaginative?"

The remark catches you off guard as you realise as per usual, Moonie has found another meaning in what you were trying to say. The issue with this, as you give it some thought, is that her summary isn't what you meant at all yet isn't entirely inaccurate. And that rubs you the wrong way in the sense that there is always a sense of pride from where you come from, even if the people can be dim. Sometimes you like to forget the idiot part of the idiots you're related to.

"Some, yes. And to be perfectly honest, I used to be one of them. But here," you gesture to the wider world, "I don't get those distractions, so I need something to focus on. I'm not trying to justify my constant working, I just want you to understand where I'm coming from."

"So... You don't have the same distractions here... On the train?"

The two of you chuckle a little then the conversation seems to find itself at one of those impasses. Neither of you can really think of what to add but there's that hanging feeling like there's more to be said. So instead the conversation seems to hang overhead in a form of stagnation until one of you speaks.

"What was that meeting for anyway?" Moonie asks as she turns back to you. Her tone does a good attempt at appearing flat and uninterested, but there is the underlying accusationt to it that can't be removed no matter how well one might bluff.

"Public relations," you reply quickly.

In Moonie's mind, she recalls Princess Celestia talking about fiscal reports while in yours, your mind glazes forward to think of a blurry future.

"What do you want to do?" You state, eager to move onto another subject.

"Like, now? I dunno... Track down the food cart?"

She shrugs and you wonder if she deliberately dodged that question. If there was one thing that Moonie was good at, aside from tyrannical rule, it was putting on airs of blissful ignorance.

"School ends in a few weeks," you add.

Moonie groans and slumps onto the chair in an annoyed heap. Internally, you sigh as you try your hand at the same subject you've been trying to approach for a few months now.

"Come off it. You know I'm not letting you dodge it this time. You're stuck in this train with me."

"There are other carriages," she grumbles in that familiar tone of potential disobedience that lacks any real conviction.

"Yes, and if you get caught then you'll need a job to pay that fine," you explain as you point to a sign.

"Only staff may move between carriages whilst train is in motion. Fines apply. 100 bit minimum." It reads.

"100 bits for moving, like, a metre?"

"Now, speaking of jobs."

Moonie's eyes roll as she knows it'll take much more than what she currently has to avoid this topic. And she had done well until now.

"A job, huh? I thought you were just going to drag me into your office."

"Why would I do that? I only take you there when I don't have someone to watch over you in my stead," you note, genuinely confused and very slightly hurt.

With a groan and exaggerated emphasis on her struggle to sit up, Moonie looks at you with deadpan eyes.

"Oh, really? Her tone oozes sarcastic disbelief.

"What, did you really think I would MAKE you work with me? If you want to, that's a different matter, but I want you to do something that you want."

Moonie pauses, her eyes are unblinking as she examines you. Then they narrow as she tries to search for something deeper before widening in shock.

"Wait. Really?"

"Yeah," you nod slightly as you wonder what sort of slavedriver Moonie imagines you to be.

"Anything I want?"

"Of course. I have some money saved up, so if you'd like to go onto further education, travel, or start a business then you're welcome to. Well, within reason on the business. I'm not investing in nonsense here."

"But why?" She asks, still looking like she was struck by lightning.

"What do you mean why?" You scoff, a little affronted still, "it's my role to make sure you're cared and provided for. Which includes your future. So what you want to do, is your choice."

In a huff and display that you feel matches the offence you've received, you give the papers a flick and put your glasses back on to peruse the contents. Moonie finds herself locked in thought and while she looks to be staring out the window, however her sight is looking beyond it. You can almost feel the heat of deep contemplation. Moonie imagines all sorts of possibilities, argues the pros and cons with a little internal court system before moving onto the next idea. And these cogs turn for some time before she utters anything.

"What... If I'm not sure?"

Her face is still locked into whatever far off plane she found herself in and her tone is distant.

"That's fine. Even I'm not sure what I want to do."

This statement grabs her attention. She spins back to you.

"But you're the mayor?"

Her eyes try to hold your attention suggesting that, like a snake or vampire might do to prey as they try to assess the threat before a strike, that looking elsewhere would be unwise.

"Yeah, but I got that job as Mayor Mare's assistant because I lost the one at the bakery, remember?" You shrug.

"You mean Minister Mare."

"She was Mayor Mare at the time."

"I always thought Mayor was her first name. That she'd be minister Mayor Mare now."

"So did I," you rub your eyes as they strain from the thought, "I still don't get half the things you ponies do."

"So, you don't want to be Mayor?"

"No," you sigh as you return your paperwork to your lap once more, "I want to be Mayor... But I'm not sure if it's something I'll always want to be doing. Maybe a few years I'd like a more hands on job, or something artistic, or maybe I'll keep going until I retire... Oh god, what will I do with myself in retirement."

The image of you kicking back in some rocking chair, surrounded by various pets for company, as you count the days gone by until "the big one" flash before your eyes. A chill runs down your spine until you shove that thought deep down where you hope you'll forget it. Once you return to reality you notice Moonie has gone back to staring outside again.

"You could work until you croak, most rulers do it that way," Moonie suggests awkwardly with a wry smile.

"I don't think I'll be planning that far ahead," you chuckle sorely as you try to put it out of your mind once again.

"So... It's fine if I don't know?" Moonie flatly asserts.

"Of course, but you need to do something. You can always change your mind later. Just don't go wasting time."

"Then what should I do?"

"You know... When I was very little, I thought of all sorts of things that I'd like to do. Be a builder, write a book, a doctor maybe, or even be a detective in those crime noir books I liked reading sometimes. And know what I ended up doing?"

Moonie shakes her head.

"I worked in a restaurant, waiting tables."

"That's rather lame. You could have been a great tyrant. That was my first job," Moonie interjects with a swell of pride.

"Well, I had to wait for Mayor Mare to become a minister first," you laugh but turn it into a muffled snort as soon as you see Moonie still in deep thought in the window reflection.

"What did you do then?"

She now turns to face you, genuine curiosity etched on her face. You take a deep breath as you recall.

"Well... I got a second job. Working nights at a mall, as security. Which I then found a third job," your eyes glaze over as you fall back into history, "I didn't get much sleep."

"You worked three jobs at once?"

"Yeah... It was a living. And then after saving a little bit, I decided I still had no idea what I wanted out of life... Let alone what I wanted to do. So I decided to go travelling, not for of that find myself nonsense, I thought worldly experience might help me decice," you add distantly before shaking your head until you came back to the present.

"How was that?"

"I'm sure you can guess how well traveled I became," you remark with a knowing smile.

Then Moonie curls up once again, in thought. As you turb back to the forms once again in what you hope is the final time, you add, "If you do decide to start a business or something, please include Trixie in it. I really need her out of the house more. Doesn't need to be anything important, just like... An executive role or something."

"I thought she was going to be staying temporarily."

"What can I say, most creatures I let into my house seem to stay permanently."

76 And There Will Never Be Any More

"--General cry of despair," you read the final line of the book and then slowly close it.

You glance over the back of the book and think of how the words are sealed away forever now. It was the final book in the series, a series you were enjoying a lot. And then you find yourself letting out a very long breath you didn't know you were holding in and with it, comes in a swell of sadness. It always sucks to finish a series you were enjoying, but you think about how there can't ever be any books of the series ever again. The author passed some time ago now.

"Hey, I was thinking," Moonie states aloud in a manner that suggests that although she is posing this as a question there is only one answer, "We should go out to dinner. The Gilded Giraffe is always nice."

You rise to your feet suddenly then gingerly slide the book back into its place. Moonie's words haven't really entered your mind. While you definitely heard them and you definitely have a retort floating about in your mind, you find yourself struggling to interact with reality. Mentally, you are in another world. A world of fantasy with fond recollections. Replaying events in the series that made you laugh, sad, had you staying up well past bedtime as 'just one more chapter' turned into five, and lessons you took to heart out into the real world.

"Anon?"

"Hmm?"

"Gilded Giraffe, yes?"

"I'm not really up for outside actually. But if you want, I'll give you some bits and you can go buy yourself something."

"Agreed, we have a contract. You cannot break it, otherwise the consequences will be death," she bellows jovially.

"Very funny," you reply as you slump back into your chair.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Just tired, I guess."

It's only a half-truth admittedly. While you're not overly upset or anything, this has kind of just sucked all your motivation and energy out of you. All your mind seems want to do, is relax for a few minutes until something comes along.

"You were staring at that book a moment ago," notes Moonie as she leaps onto your lap with a cat-like swiftness.

"Just finished a series is all."

Moonie rolls her eyes, "This again?"

"What?"

"Why do you get like this over books?"

"I like books."

"But they're still there."

"It's hard to explain. But, it's... Well, I can only experience it for the first time once. Sure I can reread it, but it'll be different the second time round."

She gazes at you thoughtfully. Then she turns around and leans back onto you like you are the armchair as her magic pulls over the first book in the series."

"Your queen has not read it before. By royal decree, you shall read it to me."

"Aren't you bossy," you remark as you ruffle her mane a little.

"Page one, peasant!"

77 I have been drinking enough to poison a small community of elephants and didn't proof read. She'll be right though, I rarely edit anyway. How many letters can I put in a title? Yes, this is a good title. I'll type until FimFic stops me

Hunched over your desk in what must be a very familiar sight if you didn't work alone; you sign, dot, refer, and file the endless paperwork. Even though it doesn't make sense that you have to do this much. Sometimes you wonder if some evil mare out there is somehow conspiring to give you more paperwork as an inconvenience or if the ponies of this town don't understand what a mayor should do. Then again, that's comparing two different cultures. Maybe other mayors in other towns do this much work, which is a question you always seem to forget to ask when you meet one.

You lean back, bones wheeze as they attempt to unstiffen, and then you stretch out. And now you've noticed the outside world in what must have been hours from when you began. You remove your glasses to rub them clean idly with a handkerchief. While you don't need glasses, it was expected that a mayor would wear them. That was something Minister Mare taught you back when she was still Mayor Mare. It would be like a unicorn without a horn, a Pegasus without their wings, or whatever it is Earth ponies have going on. "A mayor isn't a mayor without a pair of glasses, the fair ponies of this town expect it," she would say. And so you commissioned a custom pair of fake glasses.

The most infuriating part, is that everyone thinks that you're off duty when you're not wearing them and now that you wear them so often you have grown habits any glasses wearing person would have. You hold the pair up into the light to check for smudges and then place them back on your nose, adjusting them a little until the pads sit back into the little indents they have made on your nose.

"I guess I should be getting home," you grumble at the night sky.

You place a few pieces of paperwork into a suitcase and shuffle on home.

"You're late," calls Moonie lounging upside down on your chair.

"I know. What did you and Trixie have for dinner?"

"Pizza."

"Any left?" You ask as you walk past and hit the lever for the chair to recline.

Moonie yelps a little and then pouts, giving you the silent treatment. You just smile and walk into the kitchen. There's a pizza box in there but upon closer inspection, only a single slice remains.

"You kids are all heart," you call out as you take a bite.

"Kids? Trixie isn't a kid. She's a fully grown mare. When is she moving out?"

"This entire town are like kids to me. Besides, Trixie fell on hard times so I let her live here where she does the bare minimum, causes trouble, and eats all my food. Sounds like someone else I know," you grumble with a smile as you lay out on the couch.

"EXACTLY! I spent years to get where I am, and she just waltzes in on my turf!"

"Your turf?" You scoff.

"Yes, this is my home!"

"I'm pretty sure I own the deed to the place," you chuckle, egging Moonie on who is getting visibly more upset.

"A minor detail, I am your queen!"

You finish the last piece of the pizza and stare up into the ceiling. The white paint looking like the skin on an orange peel somehow seems to invite your mind. The room swirls and blurs out of existence for a brief moment until you blink. Then you snap back from your lapse in consciousness.

"You know," you begin in a distant tone, "Back where I come from, there were some kids who'd live with their parents until they were 30 for all sorts of reasons. Some even longer. Now that I think about it, there is something about you that makes me suspect you'll be one of them."

"I'm already over a thousand years old," Moonie adds drily.

"Yes, and I bet if I could live for a thousand years, then you'd stay right here in this house with me."

"I've already been through one thousand year imprisonment, I don't think I shall voluntarily go for another," hisses Moonie in her typical 'I don't want to admit I feel feelings' manner.

You roll around to look upwards from your horizontal position to gaze at Moonie who is standing on the foot rest of the recliner to glare at your.

"You like me," you say in a bubbly voice.

"Ew, no."

Moonie softly blushes as she steps back slightly to put on a display of disgust. You reach out with a single finger and Moonie eyes it carefully.

"What are you doing?"

As your finger approaches her face, she reels back. But only her head. Her body stays locked in position, unsure if fleeing or standing ground is the right thing to do.

"No," Moonie uneasily states.

Then your finger pokes her squishy little cheek and she glares fiercely at you.

"Aren't you a little sweetie."

With your finger still pressed into her cheek, she looks with you with a deadpan stare and says, "I have a strong dislike towards you, especially now."

Moonie leaps down from the chair and begins to head to her room when she notices you sit up and pull out some paperwork.

"More work?" She remarks in an irritated tone, "What do you do in that office?"

"More work."

"How can you have more work?"

"If you recall, someone said there would be a big festival for Hearts and Hooves day."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that plan. That was ages ago," comments Moonie as her face brightens up.

You give a brief chuckle then look over for a certain form.

"Well, let me help," she continues.

"What?"

"Let me help. This was my idea and you said I need a job. I could be like a... Temporary assistant. Yeah?"

You eye her carefully. This WAS her idea and that means she has plans. And she beaming far too much for this to be just helpfulness. But you stop yourself just before you recall how this started as you've got far too much to do to be second-guessing help. Admittedly, you need an extra set of hands... hooves... You need help.

"Fine," you cave in the midst of silent cheers from Moonie as you write down a list, "I need you, tomorrow, to go see these ponies. The list on the left are those who we need to ask if they'd like to do a stall or event or anything at all. You'll come in with me to work first thing where I will give you forms for them if they do. The centre list are those who have already agreed, they need the form too. And finally, the list on the right is people we will need a few things from. We'll sort them out if we have time."

"This feels like you're giving me all the work to do."

"The final list we probably won't get to for a few days from now. But that's only half."

"Half?" She stammers in disbelief as you hold up a second list.

"This will be who I'll be visiting."

Moonie takes the list back to her room, grumbling.

The preparation goes rather well. While Moonie did have a bit of trouble at first, she does get into the swing of things. The only trouble she caused was mix-ups with paper work and forgetting her list twice. Amazingly, she doesn't cause any trouble with the citizens.

And had you not been so immersed in your own work, that might have worried you.

It's the day of the Heart's and Hooves festival. Most ponies are all coupled up as they wander up and down the street together. Even some of the stalls and games are run by couples, a few of which can't keep their eyes off one another. Love is definitely in the air. It goes to show that Moonie has left a mark on you as internally you stick out your tongue and dry retch at all the lovey-dovey stuff. But at the same time it brings a smile to your face seeing so many enjoy themselves and the company of others so much.

Banners announcing the festival, posters listing events, heart shaped balloons, streamers, and all sorts of decorations litter the town in celebration.

"Howdy Anon," Applejack calls out from behind a stall titled 'Couples Apple Crunching'.

"Hey AJ, how's things?"

"Going well. This is some fine work you did on this here festival. Noticed quite a few happy mares found some special someponies for the day and are having a great time. What about yourself?"

"Yeah... What is Couples Apple Crunching?"

"Oh, well. It starts off a bit like Apple Bobbing, one fishes out an apple from the tub of water here then has to hold it in their mouth while the other half of the couple tries to each as much of the apple as possible in thirty seconds or until the apple falls from their mouths."

"I bet that's been popular. How do you judge if they win a prize," you ask as you notice all the stuffed Apple-based mascots behind her.

You happen to notice one stuffed apple with a bow and arrow, wings, and that odd little diaper thing cupid is always in. But you'd rather not ask too many questions on the subject.

"I just play it by ear. Most are just giggly and wrapped up in one another that they're happy to get anything. A few of the more charming just let go of the apple and plant a kiss on the mare's open mouth," she cackles loudly, clearly recalling a few particularly awkward moments for a few couples.

"Well, I best be off. Need to check in on a few things."

"Are you serious? Take the glasses off Anon, have some fun."

"I notice you're still working."

"Yeah," shrugs AJ, "But I'm having fun with it."

"So am I," you reply with a smile as you head down the road.

As you wander down the street, you check in on a few stalls and talk to a couple of couples who call out to you. Everyone is having a good time. Then as you walk past a chocolate stand, Pinkie calls out to you.

"ANON! You're working?"

Her loud gasp nearly becomes a screech from the shock. You look around to see if anyone else is watching and then shrug. Not having a special somepony on a day like today shouldn't really come as a shock to anyone as far as you're concerned. Ponies aren't really queuing up to date the human.

"Uh, yeah... Aren't I always?"

"But you should be with your special somepony on a day like today."

"What about your special somepony then," you reply, noting she is all alone.

"Hm? Oh, I set up a speed dating event later on. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah," you answer despite not really recalling, figuring she set it up with Moonie.

"Well, you should still get something," Pinkie sweetly says as she shoves some sweets and chocolates in a heart shaped box into your arms.

"Oh, Pinkie I really couldn't--"

"Not another word," she states firmly in what seems like an impression of Rarity as she shoves you further down the road.

You take a few steps when a mysterious stallion says something about a sample before spraying you in the face with some cologne. The various smells of musk, fruit, and oak overload your sense as you cough and splutter further down the road. There a bouquet of roses are shoved into your free hand by one unknown pony while a smaller pony grips onto your pant leg to lead you along.

"What's going on?" You ask as the haze from the cologne begins to clear.

"Sit here," says Moonie as you're shoved onto a chair.'

"Moonie?" You ask as you tilt the flowers out of your face just in time to note you're sitting in an outdoor restaurant.

Opposite you is a brown mare who is blindfolded. Using her magic, the blindfold is removed to reveal a confused Minister Mare.

"Anon?" She asks noticing the romantic restaurant's atmosphere, kissing couples, bouquet of roses, and heart shaped box of chocolates in your hand.

And then, she blushes.

Author's Note

To be continued... OR WILL IT?!

78 The Date

Minister Mare's cheeks glow with a rosy tint and you almost begin to feel a swell in your own cheeks when a snicker from behind the nearby bushes calls your attention. You snatch a look just in time to see the billowing mane that is reminiscent of the night sky. The name Moonie hisses in your mind as you turn back to Minister Mare with an awkward smile.

"Uh, I'm sorry about all this. It seems Moonie has been... messing about."

Minister Mare clears her throat before saying in a carefully thought out tone, "Yes, I figured as much when she led me here."

"I got swept up in a bit of a commotion myself then dropped here all of a sudden. Honestly, I'd never do this sort of thing," you state dismissively.

Then Minister Mare raises a brow and peers over her glasses to shoot you an accusing stare.

"I see," she answers flatly.

Her tone doesn't give anything away but her blush is still there so the sudden change leads you to assume you have offended her. Then your heart rings the guilt through you.

"I," you cut yourself off and take a breath as a waiter comes over with a vase of water for the flowers you were still holding, "I meant... If I were, to say, try and get a date with you then I'd ask. Not force you during a public event, like this."

Then the two of you can feel the many eyes watching intently all around you and slowly glance around to meet all those eyes staring at you. Many of which dart back to whatever it is they are pretending to do but a small number refuse to look away, terrified they'll miss some of the juicy gossip.

"Seems half the town is here for this," you add.

"So, you are interested?"

Her words catch your attention and you find yourself the subject of her gaze as they deeply examine every flicker in your expression.

"Interested?"

"You said, if you were to ask. You didn't say you'd never or wouldn't ask. Which might be interpreted as you are interested."

"Oh, I... Uh, what I meant was," you stammer as you open your mouth a few times to speak then close it right after as words fail you. Only the sound of your heart's thundering anxiety can be found.

Suddenly, and in a rather disarming way, Minister Mare laughs.

"Sorry. That was rather mean of me, but I wanted to tease you a little to see if maybe you had a discreet hand in this."

You relax, your body almost feeling like it's unfolding as she smiles at you.

"No. This was sprung on me too."

"I can tell. But you were given some lovely flowers and chocolates."

"Yeah," you reply dizzily.

In your hand sits the heart shaped box of chocolates. You lift the lid Minister Mare leans in to inspect them. The chocolates look hand made and you find yourself wondering who it was who made it, trying to recall the events of how you got it. While Pinkie was the one to shove them in your hands, it wasn't her stall you were in front of.

"Wasn't she doing a 'Couples Ornate Cupcake Carving' stand?" You think to yourself.

It wasn't you who organised the stall with Pinkie, it was Moonie. But you recall looking the paperwork over to double check late one night as you were trying to sort Moonie's dinner then bath out while push out everyone else's forms. You click your tongue in frustration for not noticing the name then. Sure it's not exact, but you know what they're doing. They used to do it all the time when you worked at the bakery.

"Chocolate liquors, quite strong smelling too," Minister Mare states as you close the lid, "Shame. I'd have liked to have one or two, they look delicious, but I think it best not to risk it on a date. Don't you?"

"Uh, you sure?"

Then you look at Minister Mare as if for the first time. Her hair looks sleeker, the usual fringe that points out now flows down the side of her face while the ear on the other side is adorned with a Chorki Sola flower. In a way, the flower almost matches the little neckwear she always has that looks like the offspring of a scrunchie and necktie.

Mayor Mare nods, "Now, I don't know Moonie like you do but I've heard a few things and spoken to her a few times when she came to the office. But what do you think she has to gain from all this?"

You lean back a little as your eyes drift upwards in contemplation.

"It's hard to guess what she's getting. it could be anything really but we're the centre of attention here and she got us both here... Most likely what everyone else is getting in return is us."

Then all of a sudden, three ponies wander over and begin to play a love song. One has a violin, one a saxophone, the last one is singing, and over in the distance is a mare playing the piano loudly so as not to be left out. You and Minister Mare exchange looks, smile, and decide to enjoy the song.

It's a slow number, whether it's a jazzy or classical one you cannot tell. Or maybe it's the blues. Your mind wanders a bit from the lilting tune, it wanders even from you as you're not entirely sure where it takes you. But you do steal a few glances toward Minister Mare.

Then the band finishes and takes a bow to your and Minister Mare's clapping, which then leads to the entire restaurant joining in. You notice the mare with the sax blush from the applause as the stallion who plays the violin winks at you with a beaming smile. Then, they leave.

"Well... I think your guess was right on us being Moonie's side of the bargain. Still, what could she get? Is it just our awkwardness, did she take something, or?" her voice trails off as she stares out.

"Moonie is greedy and mischievous, there could be any number of things she gets in return. We'd be here all day if we tried to guess. But I do have a question."

"Yes? Ask away."

"How did you get swept up here."

"Oh, that," she giggles softly, "I was offered a little spa treatment, which I declined. But then they offered me a free hair styling and their eyes were so pleading. The second I opened my mouth to decline however, they threw themselves at my hooves to plead... So, I thought why not. Then as soon as I am out of the chair, this flower is shoved in then my face is sprayed with far too much perfume as I was pushed along to be sat here just before you arrived."

"They timed that rather nicely then."

"Yes, i thought so too."

"Which means it more than just those in this restaurant that are in on it, though I 'spose that's rather obvious."

"Yes, it would seem so."

"Would sir and madam wish to order?" interrupts an uptight waiter.

In an awkward haste, you quickly grab the menu and gaze over the wide variety of items. Many look expensive and to your horror, many look hard to pronounce.

"The chef wished you two a lovely meal and said it is all on the house," he adds.

"I'll go with the hot dogs," calls out Minister Mare.

You gaze over your menu in shock at her then look at where she gesture, the waiter. The poor stallion is wide-eyed with sheer horror. As if nothing else she could have said could have been no greater sin in this fine establishment. You quickly eye the menu once more to find something, then beam when you eyes meet your order.

"And I'll get an order of ribs and wings, extra sauce."

Now the waiter turns to you and speaks in what he must think is a composed manner but his voice quivers, "Surely sir and madam would not like something a little more... how to say--"

"Oh, a drink?" You remark as you turn to Minister Mare.

"Well, it must be a wine. Let's go with chef's recommendation. Oh, but no reds. they don't agree with me."

"And no whites either," you add as the two of you hand the menus to the waiter who slowly wanders away to try and make sense of his conundrum.

"Poor dear," Minister Mare states.

"You started it."

"Yes, well. I've always wanted to do something like that. Canterlot is filled with fine dining and every pony is so very uptight about it. Sure this is Ponyville, but it's still satisfying."

"I don't miss that about Canterlot."

"Did you used to live there?"

"Yeah," you shrug, "For a little while before I moved out here."

"I had no idea. No pony has mentioned it."

"I wouldn't expect them too. I was a fad up there for a little while. Ponies tried imitating my clothes, little bits of slang, and I was expected at every party under the Princess' sun. And then the new thing came along, thankfully."

"So, why did you move out here?"

"Well... There were lots of reasons but I can't recall what was the deciding factor... I guess, a change of scenery."

"That sounds a good a reason as any."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I've lived here all my life. Born and raised, aside from when I was sent to Canterlot Academy."

"What was that like?" You pause for a moment as Minister Mare gets embarrassed, "You're blushing. Now you have to tell me."

"No! You just, I remembered something."

"What?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Look, I promise I won't tell."

Minister mare eyes you warily until you perform the pinkie promise. Then with a deep sigh, she tells you.

"When I was at school... I was very much into... glam rock."

"What was that?" You ask genuinely as her voice was barely a whisper.

"Glam rock."

This time you hear her but you decide payback is due for the teasing she got you with earlier.

"I can't hear you properly. I'm not asking you to shout it, just clearly."

Then with a deep intake of breath, she finally says, "Glam rock."

Her blush grows to the point of encompassing her entire face. The bright red mare avoids your eye contact as you smile and try not to laugh. Though the only part of that you find funny is her intense embarrassment of it, but you're aware that if you did laugh she'd take it the wrong way.

"Nothing wrong with that," you finally manage coolly.

"Oh, but I used to wear this dress and... fishnet sleeves or stockings, and these little neck--It's just very embarrassing. A few ponies sported the look back then, because I mean, who wasn't into Ziggy Stardust at the time. But I still."

"Do you have any photos?"

"No!"

Her instant response determined to shut down the thought gives her away and you smile wryly.

"I'll stop teasing. I'd say we're even now. Still, I'd love to see it some time."

"Maybe one day," she replies with a sigh of relief that her torture is over.

"I do apologise sir and madam, it appears we are out of both of your orders. As an apology, the chef prepared this," states the uptight waiter who is now sporting a grin that suggest he has won some kind of victory.

He places down a large plate of spaghetti and meatballs. Just one, squarely between the two of you. You try to stifle a laugh as a thought of an old movie comes to mind leading you to wonder if the ponies here are waiting for that kind of scene to play out today.

"And, your wine. It is a lovely Soul Mate Rosé by the Hart of the Barossa made the early shiraz grapes to be matured in barriques from Stratusburg and blended to create a marriage of sweet and dry so as not to be too much of either."

He pours the pink liquid into two glasses before taking his leave.

"It's pink," you remark.

"Technically, we did say no white or red."

"Yes. Yet technically, pink is just white and red. So we could say they got it wrong twice."

"I think we should give it to them. Still, spaghetti and meatballs. Hardly a romantic meal, wouldn't you say?"

"You know, I think I know what they're hoping for in that regard."

She raises a brow in curiosity from behind her spectacles, so you fill her in.

"If we both end up trying to eat both ends of the same strand, our lips might meet."

"The likely hood of that."

"I know but that's my guess."

She eyes the plate before her carefully then seems to nod in agreement. And so, the two of you eat. There is little conversation to be had as you eat but then as if god himself got annoyed at the wait, the two of you end up eating the same strand. Before either of you start to eat, you catch eyes and smile.

While still holding the stand in her mouth, Minister Mare says, "So, who will be the first to back down on this."

Your eyes narrow as the two of you begin to edge closer while the piece of spaghetti gets smaller. The collective breath of the restaurant holds as two lips slowly move closer and close. You can almost feel Minister Mare's breath as your lips close. Then as there is barely a centimetre of distance, you bite and return to your seat feeling a little flustered. Though you can feel the immense disappointment from all the eyes boring into you.

"Ha, I see," Minister Mare giggles as she stares at the plate.

You look to where she is staring to see the piece of spaghetti sitting atop it, barely a centimetre long. The realisation that the two of you bit at the same time hits you, and you join in the laughter.

"No pony seems to be happy with us over that."

"Ah, well, I thought this was a date between you and I."

She blushes once more and laughs a little before the two of you finish your drinks and decide to leave the meal there.

The two of you begin to wander the streets a little, partaking a few free samples of food or watching couples play some games which always go one of two ways; a tremendous victory resulting in the best prize or spectacular failure caused by the couples being inseparable which results in giggles.

It ends up being a nice day, one surprisingly being Moonie-less. You were expecting to see her orchestrating events or around to watch and cackle from afar.

And then you arrive at the lake at sunset after a bit of aimless walking.

"Well, isn't this romantic," Minister Mare mutters.

"Heh, it's a great view," you add.

The two of you share a glance before a swell of awkwardness rises up inside you and you look away.

"I had a lovely day," Minister Mare warmly smiles toward the horizon.

"So did I. Definitely wasn't what I expected."

"Oh? And what were you expecting?"

"A day of wandering amongst all the couples. Checking in on things, chatting here and there, and maybe buying a sweet or two."

"So a day of being the mayor?"

You nod and Minster mare chuckles softly.

"Well, I hope you don't mind me taking you from your mayoral duties."

"Of course not."

"Then... I hope we could do something like this again sometime. It was nice spending the day with you."

"If you're ever back in town or if I'm in Canterlot, I'd love to."

As your eyes meet Minister Mare's, there is a pause. A silence that hangs in the air and builds as neither of you say anything. For a moment, your attention seems to fade out as there seems to be a connection building based on eye contact alone. And then, you break it.

"Well, I best be off. It's about time for me to cook dinner."

"Do say hi to Moonie for me, and thank her for our evening."

"Heh, yeah... I will. Take care Minister Mare."

"And you, Mayor Anon."

As you wander off, Minister Mare stays behind as a little mare steps out from the bushes.

"Well, the climax wasn't what I was expecting," mumbles Moonie as she brushes herself off, "Then again, I wouldn't have been able to keep myself from heaving if had to sit here and watch you two kiss."

"I thought you weren't going to watch?" Minister Mare asks, then as she sees you disappear from sight she turns to face Moonie.

"Well, I got something from everyone else who I got in on our little plan... Except, not you."

Her eyes narrow as Moonie beams at her.

"You never asked for anything to help me."

"Well, yes. To help you, that was from the kindness of my heart. And even my greed has limits. No, I want something so i won't tell Anon this was all your idea."

"I don't see Anon to be the type who would be too upset over me setting up the date."

"Maybe... or maybe not. If you'd rather, think of it as paying me back for all my hard work. Just hear me out. All I want is a favour."

79 You Ruin EVERYTHING

You and Moonie are sitting on the couch with a big bucket of popcorn as you're about to watch a movie.

"Ready?" You ask.

"One sec," she replies as she hovers a single piece of popcorn in front of her face.

"What are you doing--"

Moonie launches the popcorn into the air but the piece begins to fly backwards so as Moonie adjusts the her positioning, her head meets the back of the couch while the popcorn sails to the floor behind the couch.

"You're picking that up."

"Once more, i can do this."

You continue to sit there as Moonie launches popcorn after popcorn piece into the air and misses every time. Even the once with a good throw she somehow manages to miss, instead taking it to the eye or shoulder. The closest she got was the popcorn piece that booped her nose.

"Moonie," you tiredly exclaim as you grab a single piece, "Like this."

You launch it into the air and watch it like a hawk stares down its prey then as it begins its descent you adjust your
head in a a seemingly random pattern then snap at the right time for you to catch it.

"See," you say as you chew.

Moonie glares at you then says in an irate and sarcastic tone, "Oh, I had no idea that catching it was all I needed to do."

She rolls her eyes and does it once more, but this time she doesn't move until the descent then her head movements seem to mirror your own. The world seems to go into slow motion as it moves closer and closer, then just barely you catch the faint magical glow around the popcorn piece as it moves in mid air to land into her mouth.

"I DID IT!"

"Disqualified."

"WHAT?!"

"I saw the magic."

"I didn't use magic, that was all talent."

"Don't lie," you reply in your authoritative parental voice.

"DAMMIT! You can't just watch that sort of thing, you ruined it! You ruin everything."

With a wry grin you take two pieces and launch one to catch in your mouth. Then once you do, you launch the other at Moonie and hit her right on the lips. This sends the filly into a state of fury. Her eyes widen and her ethereal mane almost looks to be made of steam.

Using her magic, she grabs a bunch of popcorn and begins to fire them like a gattling gun, so you grab a handful of your own and leap behind the couch to occasionally fire a single piece when safe. Rather than watch the movie, the two of you spend the entire time using things from popcorn to pillows to have a fight until you're both exhausted and fall asleep where you fall.

Author's Note

Yes, you've waited nearly a month and all you get is a snippet of filler. Thank you.

80 Makeover

"Have you seen Moonie?" You ask a passerby.

The stallion shrugs as he carries on his way. Then as you turn around to gaze over the landscape to think, a mare pipes up.

"I saw her at Carousel Boutique earlier."

"Oh, thanks," you reply hastily while a little taken aback at the thought of Moonie being there of her own free will.

As you make your way over, you ponder all the various reasons she'd be there. Only one seems the most likely. Now you don't want to be one of those types who always assume she is up to something, but typically, she is. Besides, Moonie has never seemed to be the type to be into fashion, or any of that lady-like jargon. Then again, you aren't the type either. Maybe she is, and just hasn't approached you about it.

As you look downwards, you remark to yourself, "then again I wear more clothes than anyone else in this town. Why wouldn't she talk to me about it?"

You conclude that, for whatever reason, she most likely isn't there of her own free will.

The bell chimes as you step inside the fashionista's home and store.

"Hello? Rarity?"

You wait for a moment before the pattering of hooves come hastily downstairs.

"Ah, Anonymous. Darling, what brings you here?"

"Looking for Moonie, I heard she was here sometime today."

"She... Was."

Rarity avoids eye contact which makes you suspicious, then leading you to notice other cues. She shuffles a hoof just slightly, sucks her lips in a touch, and her eyes meet yours for the briefest of moments before retreating.

"Rarity--"

"She made me promise not to tell," she abruptly pleads, "Nothing is wrong and it's really, really exciting. But... I can't say. A promise between ladies is stronger then diamonds."

"I see," you reply slowly as you eye the giddy lady, "but... You want to tell me, don't you?"

"Of course not. Because I promised. But if... If I had not given my word, then I'd think it a delightful bit of news."

"Fair enough. Even if you can't tell me what it is, can you at least tell me if she is here."

"Oh, yes. Just upstairs in my workshop," she replies distantly as she eyes a customer entering, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique."

As she begins to lead the well-dressed mare to what seems to be the pricey end of the display, you stand idly for a moment. You wanted to ask a few questions more but then curiosity grips you as you realise Rarity's attention is completely gripped on the sale. A quick glance upstairs then back to the two mares who are both "ooh"ing and "ahh"ing at a shimmering gown spurs your confidence.

Eagerly, quickly, and most important, quietly, you head upstairs and past a few doors to where you know Rarity's workshop to be. You grip the handle and turn it slowly to open it ever so slightly.

Inside, sitting before a vanity, Moonie is humming to herself. Her little legs kick about as she turns this what and that to admire her hair. It's done up in a bun, tied with a string of pearls, and little strands billow in their usual ethereal manner to frame her face. But more astonishing is the make up. Cheeks glow with purple blush faintly as her eyelashes flutter. There isn't much more make up so you assume it's a work in progress. Or maybe it is finished. You find yourself wondering about this sort of thing, as clearly you're clueless to it. Then Moonie turns her head once again to notice something in the reflection. She peers closer to eye it carefully and then your eyes meet.

Moonie takes a great big intake of air before unleashing a great and unearthly scream. The loud screech of a wail hots notes that even a banshee's ears might split. It's enough to send you into a frenzy as you leap down the stairs, three or four steps at a time, and are out the door before Rarity can try to lecture you.

81 Moonie's Miserable Morning Malaise Mishap

The bed is warm as the thick duvet is wrapped around you in a snug bliss. You drift in and out of sleep, spending most of it in between the two in a strange state of being aware that you're sleeping. It could be seconds ticking by, minutes, or even hours and you'd have no idea as you refuse to let your brain kick into gear. Today is a public holiday, and you intend to spend it catching up on many missed hours of sleep. At least just one or two of them.

"Anon," mumbles Moonie.

"Mm?"

You shrug and roll over in hopes that whatever it is, isn't important and that Moonie will let you rest. Silence seems to fall for a moment and you smile inwardly. Then a pillow softly but firmly boops you on the face. Which is unusual for Moonie. Usually she thumps you hard when she is determined to bother you.

"What was that for?"

"You weren't waking up," she croaks.

"Well, I'm awake now," you yawn as you already plot how to send her away so you can sleep, "No need to wallop me anymore."

Moonie goes to speak but then something seems to catch her words. You roll back over and jolt upright. Just barely are you missed by the sick spewing from Moonie's mouth and onto your bed.

"Alright, I'm awake," you screech.

"I don't feel good," she groans.

Her face looks both pale and green, her eyes look blood-shot and gummed-up, while every fibre of her looks to be giving signs of exhaustion. You scoop her up just in case she decides to lay down and get herself covered in more sick than she already is. You can feel something crusted in her coat and decide against checking. It's already clear she's been like this most of the, if not all, night.

"Sorry about your bed," she squeaks through her dry throat, "I tried to wake you before."

"All good. Don't worry about that, let's get you into bed--" You adjust her in your arms and feel your hand squelch into some fur. "--Actually, a warm bath might do you some good."

"That sounds nice," Moonie says before sniffing a few loose strands from her nose.

You sit her down in the bathroom floor and then get the water flowing.

"Can I have a hot bath?" she states, her speech distorted from a blocked nose.

"Of course, now watch the water for me for a minute."

"Yeah, 'kay," Moonie replies weakly.

With a sense of dread, you step into Moonie's room. Your nostrils are filled with the noxious musk of someone who has spent most of the night sweating. As you inspect the place a quickly, you let out a sigh of relief. Seems your room is the only one with a mess. But you still scoop up her bed sheets and blankets to put in the washer before returning to the bathroom.

Already the bath is steaming and almost at the right level. With your hand you test the water and opt to run a bit of cold just to even it out. You then push the water along, stirring it all in the basin to spread the cold. Once you're satisfied with the temperature, you shut off the taps and place Moonie in gently. She winces a little from the heat but reassures you it's what she wants. It only takes a moment to adjust to the hot water, so she leans back to soak in bliss.

"I'm going to clean things up a bit. Are you going to be okay?"

She nods.

"Alright. When I get back, I'll help you wash and then you'll need some medicine, okay?"

"I don't want any, it tastes gross," she whines wearily.

"I'll make you some tea to have too so it'll wash the taste out."

Again she nods. Normally you'd expect protests and the usual childish display, but clearly the sick has sapped all energy from her physically and emotionally. Her head hangs low, looking at her feet as the water's waves distort their appearance, then her eyes look up at you in pleading.

"Can I have some gummy candy?"

Your heart almost leaps out for her and a voice in your head calls you a monster if you even think to refuse.

"I've got some sour watermelon ones stashed away."

It's weak, but she smiles. A genuinely warm smile from the idea. Then you leave her to soak for a moment and step into your room. There you scoop up everything that was in the splash zone, and step outside. Using the hose you spray off the 'chunkier' parts before throwing them in the washer with everything else. From there, you step into the kitchen and get everything ready. The medicine that sits in the fridge, the kettle is set to boil, the sour watermelon gummies are out, and you are about to grab a blanket from the linen cupboard when you notice it is mostly bare. Save for a few pillow covers and a blanket, you recall you're overdue on laundry day.

You sigh, and head into the lounge room where you roll out the sofa bed. You make that and then head back into the bathroom. Moonie still lies where you left her, nearly floating in the water. Once she sees you, she sits up and resigns to letting you scrub her over. A few matted clumps of fur give you a bit of trouble but hot water and a firm scrub break it apart.

"You're not gonna catch my sick, are you?" dryly groans Moonie.

"How?"

"By being so close and all."

"I'm another species to you," you chuckle, "I've never get sick."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it'll be a scary day when pony illnesses mutate where I can get infected."

"What about minotaur germs?"

"How would minotaur ones be different?"

"Cause you both walk upright," she says flatly.

You grimace a little at that, feeling somehow slighted at her comment.

"That's not... That's not how any of that works."

"Ah, okay," she replies, her voice distant as your run shampoo through her coat.

Once the bath is done, you lift the soaked filly onto the floor and gently dry her with a towel. Afterwards you scoop her up into your arms and begin to carry her to the sofa.

"You don't have to carry me."

"Oh, my bad--"

"Well... You might as well now," she adds, clearly feeling a need to get in some brattiness for the day.

Once you've set her down on the lounge's fold out, you step into the kitchen to prepare the tea and medicine then grab the gummy candy. Moonie does as she's told, taking the medicine but quickly washes it down with some tea.

"Can you read to me?" Moonie asks.

For a brief moment, you pause. Thinking over to if your voice, that has still barely woken, is up to the task. Eager to get her way, she mirrors the look from earlier. Hanging her head while her eyes look up at you with pleading. You just chuckle softly as you tuck her into the blanket. Then you grab a book and get in beside her. Moonie gives a little cheer as she cuddles up and digs into her sour gummies while you begin to read.

You feel that today, you were a good nurse.

82 If Things Had Gone Another Way

The sun bears down its great scorching heat upon you with all the radiance Celestial could muster. It's the kind of heat that seems to bring about a bit of laziness in everyone, or at least tires them out. A few ponies shuffle about, dragging their hooves a little, as they make their way through the day. And you sympathise with them. As you sit beside Pinkie Pie, you think about how doing anything else is the furthest thing in your mind.

"Why is it so hot?" You almost drawl as a side effect of the dehydration you're only now managing to fight off thanks the slush drink Pinkie made.

"I dunno, Cloudsdale said something about too much rain recently," Pinkie replies while somehow managing to drink the entire time, "Aren't you the Mayor? Why didn't you step in?"

"I'm the Mayor of Ponyville, not Cloudsdale."

"So?"

You gesture to the wilder world and are about to get into the dynamic of the relationship between Ponyville and Cloudsdale when it comes to the weather, but give up. The shelter near Sugarcube Corner only does so much. But then, up in the sky nearby, a few pegasi move some clouds around which thankfully provides you two a better shade. There is an immediate sigh of relief as the intensity of the sun is diminished. Now every sip feels invigorating rather than being simple relief.

"Did you do that?" Pinkie gratefully booms.

"What, how?"

"With your... Mayoral powers, duh."

"Pinkie, do you have any idea what a Mayor does?"

"You... Rule things... Like a princess but over a smaller area."

"Not even close," you shrug.

"What about dad powers then?"

"What are you on about?"

"Dad powers."

You pause for a moment to think about what the stone-faced ponk is saying, then shake your head.

"I... I don't get it... Is that a reference or is this really the first time I'm hearing about dads getting superpowers?"

Pinkie rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue in frustration, "parents can do all sorts of amazing things. Even dads."

"Right, well Moonie isn't one of those weather Pegasus so I doubt I could do anything there."

Pinkie pouts after having her hopes dashed with you failing to meet some strange and unknown expectations. She says deeper into her seat, sipping away at her drink for a while. The two of you sit in silence for a time until Pinkie's slurping up the final dregs happens. And it goes on. Slurp. Slurp. Sluuuuuuurrrp. Once you glance sideways at her, she stops and grins at you with feigned innocence.

"I have a question."

"Ask away."

"How different do you think things would be if you never met Moonie?"

"That's an odd question. Where is this coming from?"

Pinkie shrugs, "I just had a thought--"

"We," you hastily interject before Pinkie's mouth works up the speed, "don't have to go into the whole thought process."

"Ok... So?"

"So, what?"

"What do you think your life would be like without Moonie?"

"I dunno, not that different. But, somehow, I bet you have some wild story on the matter."

Her shiny white teeth reveal themselves as she beams wildly. You find yourself getting pulled into the thought, and you do get curious what nonsense Pinkie would have made up. Then in the corner of your eye, you notice the approach of three mares.

"Hey Pink, Anon," calls out Applejack as she, Fluttershy, and Twilight walk over to your shelter, "What are you two talking about?"

"Hypotheticals," you answer flatly.

Twilight brightens up in glee, AJ's face screws up with confusion, and Fluttershy just gives that same old content but nervous smile she seems to never be without.

"Anon thinks everything would be the same if he never met Moonie," Pinkie states, her tone of voice suggesting she is personally offended by your statement.

"I dunno Anon," drawls AJ, "you've changed quite a bit over the years thanks to that little filly."

While you'd like to correct Pinkie, you were a little curious as to what kind of story she would make up and now it seems like you might get three more. So you leave it be, and try to probe each of them on their ideas.

"So, what do you think it'd be like if I never met her?"

Pinkie squeeze as she bounces up and down on her seat as if all the energy within is bubbling, getting ready to burst. But as she goes to open her mouth, Applejack begins her tale.

"You were a little bit of a No-Friend-Ned before.... So I bet you'd get even worse," Applejack states boldly and seemingly oblivious to the fact that some might find that claim offensive.

Everyone else glances your way just to check but you smile as Applejack carries on with her story.

"You'd stay locked deep within your house. We'd only see you a few times a week then in time that would be a few times a month but then you'd get so lonely and depressed that you wouldn't even leave for food. Deciding you'd rather stay inside forever, all alone. Ponies would have to deliver food to you, either some groceries for you or maybe even leave a tray of some home cooked meal for you."

"Do you really think I was that bad?" You chuckle at the idea but then you start to take her seriously when she doesn't join.

"We almost never saw you," she solemnly replies.

"Applejack, I worked at your farm on occasion."

"Exactly! Hardly ever," adds Applejack.

"And at Sugarcube Corner," Pinkie adds.

"You were always borrowing books at the library," says Twilight.

"Oh, um, and..."

Fluttershy was about to add but gets overwhelmed with shyness when everyone suddenly turns to her.

"And," you mention on her behalf, "I'd help Fluttershy with her animals, particularly ones in the Everfree."

Applejack looks around at all her friends before realising she is outnumbered on her opinion. Her body deflates a little, she lets out a sigh, and concedes.

"Well, I guess. But you did work a lot."

"Yeah but I wasn't that bad," you scoff.

In an attempt to quickly move onto the next subject, as if it could somehow stop the mood from getting worse, you turn to Twilight who notices your gaze even if she is miles away.

"Hm?" She sys but it's clear only part of her has returned from wherever she was.

"You look like you were working on a story there. Or were you somewhere else?"

She nods. And then you feel a sense of dread as she straightens up, clears her throat, and takes on that general aura she always has when she is about to go on a long winded talk.

"Most likely," she begins in her lecturing voice.

You spy Pinkie take a deep breath and lay her head on the bench in sorrow as she also tries to find the willpower to wait patiently for her turn. Watching the deflated pink party pony does make you feel a little sympathetic, but at the same time you end up looking forward to her idea more. Especially as even now, Twilight is droning on about the evidence she has to support the story she's about to say.

"Ahem."

"I'm listening, Twi'," as you turn your attention back to her to see her staring with a raised brow.

It's clear she doesn't quite believe you. As she eyes you carefully, you do your best to look innocent.

"Very well. So, the way I see it playing out then, you'd have never become the Mayor. This leaves Minister Mare to remain as Mayor Mare, constantly stressed with her workload and in desperate need of an assistant. In fact, if we go back more, you'd never have gotten that steady job at Sugarcube Corner. Meaning you'd still be doing odd jobs for everypony, living your life without being tied down. But no pony can live like that for long without becoming restless. And so you'd save your bits, before setting out and about to travel the world. Only, you don't know much about our world and would most likely end up lost somewhere or in prison in some other country due to offending them."

Everyone looks on at Twilight as she gets carried away, but then her eyes widen as a new thought occurs to her. The group are all startled when she suddenly gasps loudly from shock.

"Actually, how many out there in the world know about you? Likely you'd be treated like some kind of alien, or animal."

"Well, yes... I am an alien here."

"No, you don't get it. Not everyone out there is as inclusive and accepting as pony society. You could end up in a zoo, on a scientist's slab to be dissected and examined, or worse as food as some bigger creature. What if someone tried poaching you to make a one-of-a-kind leather saddlebag."

Twilight carries on inventing increasingly crazy and horrid things to happen to you in the hypothetical world where you go wandering. As everyone exchanges looks, you wonder if Twilight secretly has a sadistic side as she seems unable to get out of that loop.

With a wiz, Pinkie appears behind everyone to shout. Likely about how it's finally her turn, but once Fluttershy's tiny little voice manages to squeak out, Pinkie shoves a hoof in her mouth before zipping back to her seat to mope.

"I guess it's, um, my turn. Right?"

"Go for it 'Shy," you say with a sideways smile at Pinkie who responds by poking her tongue at you.

"Um, well, it's small really. But without Moonie around, I think Anon would grow more attached to the animals of the Everfree and probably move in there. Becoming a, uh, well, um, a hermit of sorts."

There's a silence before anyone realises that was all she had.

"I don't see Anon being the hermit type," Applejack ponders aloud.

"Oh, but a shut-in to the point of starvation is?" You mock.

AJ's face whips around to scowl at your smirk but neither of you say anything as it's still sort of Fluttershy's turn.

"I think it'd be," Fluttershy stammers, "nice."

"Yeah, that sounds more like something you want to do," you mention as you direct a smile AJ's way who returns it.

"Anon please, she already is as close as it gets to an Everfree hermit without actually being one. Don't give her the final push," scolds AJ in a jovial manner.

"MY TURN," bursts Pinkie Pie, causing everyone to jolt up a bit.

"Without Moonie's mischief and minor evils around to need to be in constant check, Anon himself would forget to keep his own... Urges in check," Pinkie tells everyone in an overly sinister way, "He'd turn into the villainous Anon von Doom. With a hooded cloak and everything."

You laugh aloud but it does nothing to break Pinkie's swing of things.

"He'd go around terrorising little colts, abducting young fillies, and plotting world domination. The constant thorn in our heroes' side, the elements of harmony, Anon would be immune to the magic of friendship as he have abandoned his heart long ago."

"I feel like you've thought this out before today," you remark in surprise.

"Anon, that's awful," AJ murmurs in horror.

"What?"

"You shouldn't... become a villain," squeaks Fluttershy in a quivering ball.

"Yeah Anon," Twilight says, finally out of her trance of you centred misfortune, "What the hell?"

"Oh. Very funny," you finally say as you catch on.

Everyone shares a bit of a chuckle at the idea of you being a villain before they then all look your way. There's a moment before Pinkie gestures to you expectantly.

"Alright, now you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, what do you think would change? Really."

You give it some thought briefly but then shrug. But you don't answer right away. It feels like while everyone was going on with their stories you were thinking about it. Though as like a kind of background thought. Possibilities come to the forefront of your mind. Some are silly and unlikely like everyone else's stories but you find yourself gravitating towards the more serious and likely.

"Again, I don't think much would change at all," you begin meaningfully by sitting up, "I mean... I don't think work-wise it'd be any different. I got that steady job at Sugarcube Corner because the cakes asked me, that had nothing to do with Moonie."

You look towards Pinkie who nods to confirm it.

"And then when I lost that job, though I'll admit I got the job in the Mayor's office thanks to Moonie but she was on the list of places I was going to look for a steady job. So that one could have gone either way I suppose. And Minister Mayor's promotion had nothing to do with Moonie either. So I think I'd still be mayor in the end."

As you return from your world of thinking aloud, you notice a couple unimpressed looks.

"Well, what would change then?" Twilight replies in monotone.

"We already established that I wasn't as bad as AJ thinks, and nobody believed I'd be a forest hermit. So, yeah, more or less the same."

"That's dull," whines Pinkie.

And they all nod in agreement so you concede to say a little more.

"Okay, fine... I can think of something. I'd be pretty lonely and," you pause to give it more thought, " I'd never know this kind of feeling."

"What feeling?" they all ask in unison.

You shrug once more. Unfortunately, you're a little unsure of how to put it into words. Various titles and descriptions flick through your mind but none seem to fit. Not properly. They don't seem to do it justice or paint the idea of what you want to say. And even going into a lengthy discretion doesn't seem like it would work either. But you take a breath to steel yourself to declare what would be the closest to that feeling, and you end up getting a little nervous as you've never admitted this aloud.

"I wouldn't really know... what it feels like to have a family."

83 Forever Ago

"We're here," states the gruff voice in the dark as it rips the tape from Gruff MacIronbeard's mouth.

Gruff MacIronbeard looked up at his assailant. Dark and matted fur covered the minotaur's large build. Like a distant fiery star, one red eye looked down at him as the other was covered by a leather eye patch to hide the wound Gruff gave to him so many years ago.

"Ah, I was wondering what happened to you after Saddle Arabia, Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn."

The hitminotaur grinned, his yellowed teeth dimly flashing in the pitch blackness of the night.

"Yes, you should have buried my entire body. Vultures can be rather... Helpful with the right motivation it seems."

The large and menacing hitminotaur smiled once again before his big arms gripped Gruff MacIronbeard and pulled him out from the carriage boot.

"And don't try anything," and exasperated Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn added while revealing a magical scroll, "This fireball will leave you unrecognisable, I daresay as it will singe more than your coat."

Gruff MacIronbeard gritted his teeth before being lead into the woods, his arms bound tightly behind him. Leaves and twigs rustled and snapped underhoof as they ventured deeper. Once they were in a ways, Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn suddenly pulled loose on the rope before shoving Gruff MacIronbeard forward hard enough to stumbled and fall to his knees. Just as Gruff MacIronbeard was about to turn around to fight, Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn waved the scroll a little.

"Uh-ah-ah." Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn grinned wildly, the pleasure etched on every crease of his smile.

That's when Gruff MacIronbeard noticed beside him stood a shovel, planted partway into the ground.

"Yes, I'll have to get you to dig a couple feet."

"That's cold," Gruff MacIronbeard replied, referring more to that just the night air as his muscles tensed visibly in anger.

Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn sighed, "Look, first I had to subdue you, drive us all the way out here, and I've got to bury you afterwards. It's tiring work, the least you could do is help me out."

Gruff MacIronbeard furrows his brow as Gruff MacIronbeard gives it some thought but ultimately, his sympathy gives out and Gruff MacIronbeard proceeded to dig. Feeling more relieved about his lightened to-do list, Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn leans against a nearby tree to revel in the silence. Save for Gruff MacIronbeard's grunts and shovelling.

"You've ticked off quite a few griffons, you know."

"Yeah? I don't recall doing anything special down that way."

"Well, maybe not. But all your interference in Yak-Yakistan caused a few issues with them. Seems they had some kind of plan."

"Are you sure you should be telling me this, just ratting your clients out like that?" Gruff MacIronbeard grunts.

"I'm not worried. It's not like you'll be doing anything about it. But, it seems they know about our... shared history. Two birds, one stone. It must be fate," Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn looks skyward with a smirk.

And that's when Gruff MacIronbeard shovels a head of dirt right over his shoulder and into Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn's face. As Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn coughs and splutters Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn doesn't notice the firm iron shovel swinging at high speed directly into his face. Even if Maddox 'Mad Bull' Musclehorn is on the floor and in a daze, Gruff MacIronbeard wastes no time, Gruff MacIronbeard is up and out of the hole before darting off to the carriage.

"What are you doing? Keep reading," Moonie excitedly shrieks as she shakes you by the collar.

"Look at the time."

"Forget the time. I need to know what happens to Gruff."

"Tomorrow. It's bed time."

"No," Moonie screams and struggles as you lift her up.

"I think you mean Gruff MacIronbeard. Not Gruff."

"What?"

With Moonie slung under one arm, you glance at the pages of the book again.

"You never notice how they always say a characters full name?"

"That's... Just Minotaur mannerisms or something. Now read more."

"Bed," you reply flatly in your 'parental' voice.

"You can't just read an action packed Minotaur book and expect me to sleep part way."

"Well, then no more reading it before bed."

"Okay!" She yields.

You place the unresistant filly on the floor and she slumps off to the bathroom for a minute then returns. Suspicious of her, you kneel down.

"Breath."

"What? Don't you trust me?"

"To brush? No. Breath."

Moonie rolls her eyes and gives a heavy breathe in your face. The minty freshness of toothpaste is strong but that smug smirk gives her away. It's not the kind of smug one uses when they've won, it's the kind of smug you would put on when you're confident in a plan.

"What's the new trick?"

Moonie's face freezes in place. Then after a moment's silence, she sulks.

"I thought eating some would work."

"While I admire the persistence and constant creativity, if you don't start brushing them I'll do it for you."

"Okay, okay."

This time you lean in the doorway and watch her. She pokes a mint foamed tongue at your reflection while brushing. You just smile back.

Then once she is done, you follow her into her room where you tuck her into bed.

"Hey, Anon?"

Her voice is rather soft. A not a tired kind of soft either, though she did yawn. It draws your attention and alarms you a little. But the dad in you can't resist.

"Hello Moonie."

She rolls her eyes and whines, "Anon."

"Yes?"

"When is your birthday exactly?"

"You're only just now asking?"

The filly merely shrugs.

"I don't know to be perfectly honest. The months and days in the year are different. I have no idea how I'd transfer the day over. Why, is Pinkie planning a party for me?"

Her silence gives it away.

"Don't worry, I'll act surprised."

"The thing what I wanted to know is, why is it a different day every year. Pinkie says it's a secret."

"There's no special reason behind it," you chuckle, "She just figured if she does one party on every day of the year then she is bound to have gotten it right at least once. Though twice now she has thrown two on the same year so you can never tell."

"Oh," Moonie's remarks dejectedly, clearly expecting something a bit more. "So, how old are you then?"

"You know, it's rude to ask a gentlemen his age."

"That's only for ladies," she defiantly replies in that childish arrogance that refuses to be tricked by an adult, "And you're not a gentleman."

"You wound me so," you dramatically retort as you clutch your chest.

"How old are you?" She repeats with a sing-song whine.

"Why? Is it important?"

She shakes her head no and then covers herself a little further under the blanket, giving a partial roll away from you. You give a tisk and then pull her back.

"I'm just asking," she responds dismissively, "You are old after all."

A quiet calm fills the room. Even the crickets outside that normally are busily chirping away can barely be heard. You take a breath as you wonder exactly what the issue could be, even thinking on this morning. You've got a decent guess but still, this entire thing caught you unawares. Unable to definitely put your finger on it, you try some words of comfort.

"You know... When you're young you feel like you'll live forever. But... that does seem like forever ago now. Though, I'm not going anywhere yet. I've still got many, many years ahead. Actually... I'm going to live forever. I've just decided. Or at least a thousand or so years. Just to see what happens."

"You're being silly," Moonie pokes her tongue at you.

"Heh, yeah. Anyway, Goodnight Moonie."

"Goodnight, Anon. Sweet dreams."

"You too," you reply as you give her a soft peck on the forehead.

84 Dream a Little Dream of Me

"What do you mean?" Barks Moonie, puzzlement etched on her face.

You shrug.

"I dunno. I don't remember any of them, but Luna said they were weird."

"She never told you about them?"

"I asked a few times but she would just tell me to go away," you shrug once more.

"So, I can't then?"

"I'm not saying that, only giving you some kind of forewarning. Luna said she never went into my dreams again after the a few times."

In the surprise, Moonie scampers a little on the spot that reminds you of an over excited puppy.

"Tonight?" She beams.

"You're eager."

"Come on," she pleads in the trademark manner that only kids seem to do to get their way.

"It seems unlike you to ask so nicely."

"Tonight," she corrects herself into an authoritative bellow, "Your queen orders it."

"Hmm, I think I prefer the manners."

"Tonight," she repeats more sternly.

It's late and you find yourself struggling to sleep for a while. It didn't help that twice Moonie stomped in to demand you fall asleep that instant, which led to a small argument on how easy it is to fall asleep with a filly screaming at you. Obviously you won, even if Moonie disagrees. Eventually sleep claims you.

It's cold. The harsh air blows its winter gale with a force that could only be described as the anger of some winter deity. It feels as if you were to stretch yourself outwards, the wind could scoop you up and blow you to who knows where. Then the wind dies down as if said deity had the wind knocked out of them. You look up and see that the wind hasn't stopped at all. It's more like you're now in some sort of snowglobe. All the snow is blowing around you now, and even the sound of the wind is deafened. At your feet beams a little filly.

"How did you do that?"

"It's a dream," she scoffs and gives you a look as if you were the town fool, "You can do just about anything if you've got the imagination."

"Oh, I thought it was magic."

"I'm here, that's kind of where the magic ends."

"Right," you say as you rub your hands to get a little feeling back into them.

"Then again, it's always a little harder for the dreamer. It's got something to do with the subconscious being like another mind at this point. I don't really know, this was Luna's thing."

"Has she been teaching you this or anything?"

Moonie shakes her head, "No. I only know a bit of it because of the time we shared a body."

"Right."

There's a moment of silence as you try to think of what to say next. Somehow, something like "Welcome to the deeper recesses of my mind that I don't really understand" doesn't feel appropriate. You also feel like you should have asked why she wanted to do this and what she was hoping to get out of it when you were awake. Those questions feel too late right about now.

"This is oddly vivid," comments Moonie as she lifts some snow and shakes it as all the individual bits flutter to the ground.

"Oddly?"

"Yeah, well... For most, everything is blocky, hazy, and incomplete. The mind if supposed to be resting after all, and there's no point dreaming something you're not heading to in a dream. It doesn't work that way."

"The mountains over there are blurry."

"Yeah, but there's a blizzard. It's supposed to be blurry. This though," she shows up another hoof of snows that trickles down just like real snow, "Is far too realistic. Who dreams all the individual bits of snow up?"

"I do, I guess. My dreams are usually pretty vivid, at least the ones I recall."

Moonie's fascination with the snow ends just as she notices a big shadowy figure off in the blizzard approaches you two in the bubble.

"We can't get hurt in dreams, can we?"

"No. But you'll think you do."

"I don't follow."

With your attention focused on the approaching figure, Moonie balances on her forelegs so she can lift her hindlegs and kick you like you were some kind of apple tree. With a sharp and pained yelp, you tumble to the floor as your legs gives out in surprise.

"Relax. It didn't hurt your body. But in here, you think you got hurt. Make sense now?" She smiles a smile that shows she enjoyed that much more than any normal pony would.

"You better hope I don't remember this dream," you grumble while getting back to your feet.

It's at that moment the two of you notice the figure is now standing in the bubble with you. It's tall. Very tall. And hairy. As well as grinning.

"A yeti?" a confused Moonie mutters through clenched teeth.

The yeti looks from you to Moonie, still smiling widely.

"Uh, hello... Miss Yeti." You finally say.

"Miss? How can you tell?"

You're about to point out how, but looking at the yeti you find no clear features. The big ball of fur is so big and furry that it's impossible to discern any shape that could possibly be going on underneath.

"I don't know, just a guess."

"Well, you should know your own mind. Hello Miss Yeti."

The yeti's grin widens. Then it gestures for the two of you to follow before turning around and walking away.

"Should we?" You ask.

Moonie shrugs, "What else would we do?"

And so, the two of you follow.

Miss yeti leads you both higher into the mountain and into a cave where you're safe from the blizzard outside. But after only a few steps, it gets far too dark for you to see.

"I can't see a thing."

"Then imagine some light," scolds Moonie.

A small flicker of light hums not too far away in the cave. Then it glows again, its dim light barely illuminating the yeti's face as she blows on it gently. A few more puffs and the fire begins to grow, crackling a couple times as more of the tinder burns. Miss yeti watches over the fire, adding a couple pieces of kindling to get the flame big enough to light her own torch.

"See, this is what I mean," an annoyed Moonie gripes.

"What?" You reply defensively, already knowing where this will go.

"Who dreams up this much detail? Why can't she just produce a light, maybe the cave has magical torches, or glow worms, or maybe even we could just see in the dark. It's a dream. We should have to stand here while a yeti lights a torch."

You shrug. Which annoys Moonie even more. She grumbles and mutters under her breath as the two of you wander deeper into the caves. There's some twists and turns that means you have no idea where you're going or even how deep you've gone. But then, just as it seems the cave's network would run on forever, a chill breeze begins to flow down the cave and getting colder slowly as you walk on. Then you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Stepping out, the bright light takes a minute to adjust to. You're inside a valley. Up above the blizzard can be seen raging on but the intense wind blows most of the snow over it. The yeti makes a few grunts to grab your attention and gestures for you to follow.

You've clearly been lead to a yeti village. Little igloos dot the strip. A few yeti can be seen going about their business, stealing a few glances at the newcomers but otherwise not paying too much attention. They've got little stalls, you notice. And one yeti can be seen hanging out some fur suits on a line. Small yeti children run around and play some unknowable game that involves snowball throwing. Then you notice a few humans around the place too. One, a human female wanders over to follow you.

Then you walk into the back of the yeti. First you apologise, then look around and see the shoes poking out from the ground as if people had been planted like crops. There's a lot.

"This is the future of yeti-kind," Miss yeti explains in a rather posh and well-spoken accent.

"Uh," you stammer for a few seconds from the surprise then without any idea of what to say, you just ask the first question that comes to mind, "And what future is that exactly?"

"Well, you see, it's nearly impossible to live up here. With all the snow we can't grow anything, and human kind wont accept us. They call us monsters."

"Is this something that actually happened where you come from?" Moonie suddenly asks with a clear readiness for gullible belief.

While you do want to mess with her a little, you're a little too focused on the situation to go for it.

"Nope. No idea where this comes from."

Moonie looks a little dejected but the yeti continues.

"So, what we are doing is capturing humans and using yeti magic to plant out minds in theirs," the human female from before states as she steps forward to stand beside Miss yeti, "This way we can immigrate in peace."

"This is weird," Moonie groans.

"So... You're stealing human bodies? With magic?"

"Yes," the yeti inside the human girl nods, "but don't worry, the human mind is still safe and sound. They just aren't in control."

"No," says Moonie flatly, "I am out."

"What are you worried about? I thought you couldn't get hurt in dreams?"

"Yes, but I'm not going through that experience. I'll see you in the morning."

And with that, Moonie fades away. Leaving you alone in the yeti camp.

The following morning you wake up and try to recall your dream. Nothing but a haze comes to mind. There's the feeling of cold and confusion that remains but remnants of what you might have felt are no help. So groggily, you get up and wander into Moonie's room.

"You don't look so good," you remark once you see the weary filly in bed.

She just grunts her reply. It's the kind of grunt that says ''I'm too tired to open my mouth so this is all I'll say.''

"How was the dream? What was it?"

Moonie sits up and stares at you in irritation.

"You don't remember?" She croaks."

You shake your head.

"Go away," she adds as she slams her head back into her pillow.

85 The Company is Nice

Tak-tek-tik-tok-tuuuuuuuk.

You scratch your forehead a little as you think of what to type on your brand new type writer. It's no computer what with pony technology being uniquely behind in some aspects but on par with your old world in some way. But it does the trick.

"Whatcha doing?" Asks Moonie in the trademark sing-song voice that any bored child does when they decide to inflict themselves upon a nearby busy adult.

"Testing to see if this or the old one would be better to take to work."

"Work?" Moonie asks in disgusted confusion.

"Work," you nod solemnly.

"You're always working."

"Look, you always bring this up and you know I don''t just work."

"Seems like it," prods Moonie, hoping to irk you a little more.

"Mhm."

Moonie clicks her tongue in frustration and them thinks for a bit. Most likely to think on way to bother you some more but you pay it no attention for the time being.

Tak-tek-tik-tok-tuuuuuuuk

"When you think about it, you are always busy."

This gives you a bit of pause. You lean back in your chair to reflect a little.

"Yeah, usually... Why?"

Moonie shrugs in that way that suggests she does actually know why and this air of ignorance is just for show. A show to irk you just slightly. And it does. Just slightly.

"Well, you work a lot. And if you're not working then you're doing housework, reading, looking after me, or sometimes helping out in town. Never ever just sitting down and relaxing."

"Not true. When we camped in the backyard, we sat for a bit and stargazer. That was relaxing."

"Yeah," she replies drawing out it like she isn't convinced, "but that was ages ago, and we did that because I wanted to."

"So?"

"When was the last time you relaxed because you wanted to?"

You tilt your head to the side and squint while you think. Mentally, the time rewinds back days then weeks, months then years. Nothing comes to mind. Okay, so maybe you've taken a breather here and there. Like a minute or two to compose yourself, catch your breath, or to think on what to do next. But do they count?

"It's got to be more than a few minutes. Say, twenty at least," adds Moonie, with eyes that looks as if she were reading your mind.

"Then..."

"Never?"

"Not that I can think of. I mean, I could and just don't remember it."

"I should knight you as Sir Anonymous the Restless."

"Very funny."

She giggles to herself and pokes a tongue out to jeer a little more.

"Reading counts as relaxing. And sometimes spending time with you is."

"Aren't you sweet?"

You lob the chair pillow at her. She dodges by leaping up onto the couch where she lies down like some kind of lion proudly reigning over the land.

"But really," Moonie continues. This time her voice is more serious, "Don't you ever want to take it easy for a while?"

"I do."

"I mean, just do nothing for a bit. Let time pass you by or something."

You shrug, "Not really, no. I like... Doing something, even if it's little. Like reading, hanging with someone, or even watching someone do something. I get restless otherwise."

"Hmm," Moonie ponders, "Fair enough."

There's a moment of silence for some time. Part of you was waiting for Moonie to say something more so when you realise that was it, you speak up.

"Why?"

You notice that she was resting her head on her forelegs with her eyes closed. At the sound of your voice, Moonie opens one eye.

"Why what?"

"Why were you pointing out how busy I always am?"

She shrugs then closes her eyes once again. But you're not willing to let her out of it, at least not easily. Moonie's motives are, by nature, easy to discern.

"Do you miss spending time with me?" You tease.

"Very funny," she replies without opening her eyes.

Silence falls once again as you find yourself unable to think of how to approach the topic, or even what exactly you're trying to get out of it. A few times a sentence bubbles to the surface but disappears from your mind before you can say it. Unable to think of what to say, you spin back to your type writer. In the corner of your eye you notice Moonie open a single eye once again.

"I get antsy doing nothing. It doesn't matter what it is, I feel better when something is happening."

"I get that," flatly answers the napping filly.

"But I like your company either way."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's kind of like spending time together, even if we never say a word."

"Hm," grunts Moonie as she smiles while adjusting her position to a more comfier one for a nap.

Once she wakes a little while later, she grabs her toys and plays with them on the floor nearby which you can't resist smiling to yourself at. Both of you content in doing your own separate thing, but together, in good company.

86 Almost like friends

After a long day at work, sometimes you like to just fall onto the couch and lie there for a while. You never get to, not really, on account of Moonie's relentless efforts to make sure you never enjoy anything, but you would like it if you could.

"This isn't looking good, Nurse Trixie," grumbles Moonie as she moves her string stethoscope up and down your back.

"What is it, Doctor?" Grins Trixie as she acts a little more cooperatively than is normal for her.

"I'm afraid the patient won't make it through the day."

"I am awake, you know," you add, your voice getting muffled from laying face down.

"The patient has a chronic case of Dork syndrome."

Trixie dramatically gasps.

"Thank you for that," you groan into leather.

"Surely there's something we can do."

"His only hope, is this," beams Moonie's as she thumps down a glass of something green.

You tilt your head slightly to peer with one eye to see it bubble just once before settling back into something that resembles a liquid.

"I'm not drinking that."

The two mares exchange a look and nod. They slyly move to either side of you, Trixie at the foot of you while Moonie is at the head. Then without any signal, they use their magic to grip your limbs. Naturally, you immediately begin to struggle violently but the firm magic vice around your arms and legs only allow your mid-section to flail about.

"Here comes the aeroplane," chimes cheery Moonie as she pressed the glass to your lips which you keep thightly clamped shut.

"Grab his head too," Trixie bellows maliciously.

"I'm not that great at multiple things," Moonie answers as she tries pry open your upper lip with the glass.

"Fine," whines Trixie with an over the top roll of the eyes, "I'll do it."

Moonie holds the glass back a bit as she waits for Trixie so you decide there will be no better opportunity. Summoning all your authority as one of those parental figures and shout.

"Miss Nightmare Moon, if you don't stop this instant then you are grounded for a month."

And it does the trick. Moonie steps back in the shock, releases her magic, yells back in horror, "A month? That's not fair," and notices the glass she let go of just in time to leap forward and catch it before it hits the floor.

"Ah, look what you did," shrieks Trixie as you scamper to your feet.

"Do you want to be grounded too?"

"You can't ground me... Can you?"

"Hang on, 'too'? I stopped, you can't ground me."

"Either of you want to bet?"

The two mare cower slightly and exchange a look, both are unwilling to be the one who presses the big, red shiny button of doom.

"What is in that?"

"We'll never tell," stammers Moonie in a last ditch effort for defiance.

"Something we found in the back of the fridge that smelt like the clumped fur on a yak's backside, deodorant, and a laxative."

"Traitor," bellows Moonie while leaping onto Trixie with the goal of forcing her to drink the dubious liquid.

The two don't fight for long as you lift them both up in a arm each and carry them up the hallway. You dump Trixie in the kitchen.

"You're cleaning the dishes--"

"WHAT! THE GREAT AND POW--"

"And if you argue, then I'll ban you from using magic and charge you double the value of everything you break."

Trixie trips over her own tongue trying to kill the momentum of rebellion and resign before she makes her fate any worse, result in the kind of sound a balloon makes as it deflates.

"The resourceful, and ever helpful, Trixie is happy to do the dishes."

As you turn to head up the hallway, Moonie and Trixie poke their tongues at one another. While you don't see it, you know it happens. Neither could possibly resist the urge to taunt anyone, let alone one another.

"And you'll be cleaning this," you declare as you drop Moonie into the bathroom.

"WHAT?! This is so much more effort than hers."

"If get some of it done, and done properly, then I'll get Trixie to help you with it."

Being the type who will endure any misfortune if it means dragging someone else down with her, Moonie sets to work with malicious glee. Content you've done something productive for once, you go back into the lounge room to relax on the couch. The echoes of scrubbing can be heard in the background. For a moment, you zone out and decide to enjoy the drink beside you before spending the rest of the evening stuck on the toilet.

87 Help Me Commit Evil

"ANON," thunders a shocked Moonie as she barrels down the hallway to bursts into your room, swinging the door so hard it smacks the wall and slams itself shut under the force.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?"

"Here," you call as you slid out from under the bed with a few dirty clothes in hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning, what else does it look like?"

Moonie looks perplexed and shakes her head in that typical judgemental way that all children seem to do when they forget that there are responsibilities in life.

"It's your day off."

"And I only get one a week, so I want to get a few things done around the house."

"But... It's your day off," she repeats heavy-handedly as if her obvious message didn't get through.

You sigh a little and rub your eyes as you feel the beginning of a headache.

"Yes, yes. Is there are reason you came in here?"

"Well, yes, but this is more important--"

"If I get a few things done today then it gives me more time to take a load off after work," you interject, raising your voice to a stern drone, "Now what did you need?"

Moonie scampers on the spot a little as the internal debate rages over if she should let it go or not. Thankfully, her own desires win out.

"Alright, I need you to help me cause a little mayhem."

You open your mouth to speak, not exactly sure what to say but it would definitely be a lecture of some kind, before Moonie adds hastily.

"I'm behind quota."

"Okay... I'll ask. What quota?"

"Well, I have--One sec."

Then the filly sprints out of the room, violently throwing the door open again. Exasperated, you check that the door stopper is still holding strong. While you never had them before because slamming doors was oddly something Moonie didn't do, you saw a couple in the clearance bin the other week. So you bought a few and now it seems that because you have them Moonie will swing every door open with a strength only usually attributed to a demon. It's like she wants to break them. Well, she already broke the one on her door.

When you hear the little pitter-patter of tiny feet, you hold the door open. Moonie enters while looking up at you with scorn for spoiling her fun.

"I've got a log book of all the malarkey, jokes, pranks, traps, mischief, mayhem, chaos, evil, and torture I've done in the past few years."

She places the big leather-bound book on the floor and looks at you as while you raise a brow.

"Torture?"

"I'll admit, I've not done anything like that since the tickle torture of pipsqueak on playground. But I need to keep that column going just in case."

"Right," you mumble.

Moonie grabs a little ribbon bookmark and pulls it open to skip every other page.

"Look, I've done barely anything this week."

You scan the pages over and sure enough, all the little jokes Moonie has played are written down alongside names of who got it. Internally, you set a reminder to track this book down when she is out of the house. It could make for a very informative read.

"Replaced insides of Anon's choc-mint cookies with toothpaste?"

Moonie freezes, "Uh, I thought you already had one this morning."

"Nope."

"I'll get you some new ones?"

"You will. Now what's this about a quota?"

"Well, I have a reputation to keep up. If everypony treats me like you do, none will believe me when it is time for me to return to power and overthrow the sister princesses."

She gives an 'evil' cackle. It's like a mildly mischievous cackle however. The old evil and sinister schadenfreude isn't there anymore. Sure she might claim she's "only playing along with this parent/child thing to throw the sisters off her tail," that she is the "queen of the night, all evil, and nightmares," and still bellows about ruling Equestria once again but it all lacks conviction. All of Moonie's 'evil' comes across instead as a childish persona and a way to guard herself against anything sweet or nice.

You recall a story about a kid who refused to take his batman costume off because he wanted to be the hero so much. It even went so far as the child started punching other kids at daycare to "fight justice." Then you laugh at the recollection because sometimes Moonie pulls out her little armour set and does pretty much the same thing. It's a fight for a couple days to get her out of it, she always stinks from sweating in that armour.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," you think for a moment and then decide that the odds and ends around the house can wait, "Alright, do you have any ideas for a bit of mischief?"

Moonie beams at you, nods, then scurries off to get another book.

"Reputation?" you scoff to yourself.

The reputation Moonie thinks she has and the way the Ponyville ponies think of here are nothing alike. With jokes, pranks, and a little bullying, Moonie is often regarded as pretty much harmless. Even Pipsqueak's parents, whose son is often on the receiving end of Moonie's antics, think she is "Just a playful little dear."
Bon-Bon and Moonie have an ongoing gag where Bon-Bon pays a tribute to Moonie to spare her candy shop. But it's always a single small piece of candy and usually something newly imported, freshly made, or not yet stocked so she can get opinions on it.
Back when Minister Mare was Mayor Mare, she would con Moonie into helping out under the guise of "teaching her to rule Equestria efficiently."

Once Moonie returns with a book so thick it could only be described as a tome, you start to second guess encouraging this sort of behaviour. But at the same time, it's relatively harmless. However, it's going to be a long day.

88 Moonlight Savings Time

You wander into your home, feeling slightly out of it. As you're putting things away where they belong, you notice your glasses are looking dirty.

"Over due for a clean, I guess," you murmur as you set them on the sink.

The clicking of little hooves trying poorly to sneak on hardwood floors echoes as Moonie peers into the kitchen.

"Oh, you're home early."

You glance at the clock before you realise setting them forward slipped your mind last night.

"Actually it's daylight savings, I'll need to fix all the clocks in the house in a moment."

"So... Does this mean we lose or gain an hour?"

"Gain," you reply flatly while rinsing a few things.

Moonie audibly gasps with excitement and you can see her already trembling with anticipation.

"This means you'll be home earlier all the time."

You chuckle, "No."

She quickly scowls at you, "What? You don't want an extra hour of praising your queen each day?"

"I might get home an hour early but I'll also be leaving an hour early."

"Why?" asks a genuinely confused filly.

"Because that's how daylight savings works."

"But we're supposed to gain an hour," she explains in one of those patronising tones used when dealing with someone 'slow.'

"Aren't you like over a thousand years old? How do you not know about how daylight savings works?" You ask irritably.

"Well, I was a little distant with things for a while."

"Right," you answer, feeling like you put your foot in it a bit.

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Moonie's voice comes across as aloof and slightly monotone, which seems to hammer in a bit more of that guilt.

"Sure," you resign with a sigh as you turn around to see a toothy, "gotcha" kind of grin.

"Too late, you said yes. You can't take it back," she shouts triumphantly.

Your eyes narrow and her grin grows.

"Oh, you are in for it."

Moonie's stance swiftly drops into a ready position so that the second you move she will sprint towards her room. The two of you hang there, frozen in time almost. Then you ask which pizza she wants knowing that even though she is the type to always get one of two things, she has to look at the menu stuck on the fridge before making a decision. You remain still, refusing to break eye contact but you notice Moonie's will and eyesight waver.

"Truce?"

You flick your head in the direction of the fridge. Moonie hesitates then looks at the menu. Then her eyes widen as she realises something.

"That wasn't a nod," she screams. Too late.

You've already scooped her up into your vice-like grip in one arm to tickle her with the other until her giggles turn into a screech. The pizza you got later was good.

89 Tube Food

It's a day like any other. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and Moonie is being rather quiet so that means something is about to or has gone wrong. Idly, you wander about the house looking for her before you hear her and Trixie's voice echoing in the bathroom. Curious, you eavesdrop outside the door.

"There's no way that'll happen," Moonie scoffs in a derisive tone.

"It's true. Trixie has seen the future herself. One day we'll all be eating out of tubes, it'll be quick and have all our daily nutrients in one little tube."

"But... Why?"

Trixie shrugs, "Why not? If you're getting all your protein and whatever in a tube then you don't have to eat veggies. Why, you could eat candy all day because you've already gotten everything else."

Moonie brightens up at this, "That makes sense."

The two are quiet for a moment as they look over a tube of toothpaste.

"Try it."

"Why?"

"To practice," Trixie answers with a condescending eye roll.

"Why don't you do it?"

"Trixie does every day, saves time on brushing."

"You better not let Anon hear that," mumbles Moonie maliciously.

Trixie stares at her carefully. To which Moonie stares back so now the scene looks like some sort of old western stand-off. Neither will do anything, probably. They seem fond of daring the other to strike first so they can tattle. You have to muffle yourself by biting down on your fist when you very nearly laugh at how alike they are in their childish natures.

"Eat the tube."

"No," Moonie states defiantly, "You eat the tube."

"Why? It's just tube food," snickers Trixie.

"Stop saying tube so much."

"Fiiine, you don't have to eat the tube."

And then Trixie gives a little smirk. The kind where you know, because you appraise her face without getting instantly riled up like Moonie, that it's just an attempt to goad Moonie into a reaction. That she falls for. From Moonie's point of view, it seems like in that little smirk, that Trixie is arrogantly patting herself on the back for a small victory.

And so in her defiance to refuse Trixie any kind of victory, Moonie downs the entire tube of toothpaste. Though it's a bit late, that's when you step in.

"Spit that out," you command.

The two spin to face you with poor looks of innocence.

"Don't even try, I was listening. Now spit."

Stubborn as ever, Moonie swallows.

"The fair and innocent Trixie didn't do anything, she did it on her own."

"I swear it's like I've adopted two kids," you think to yourself before saying, "Too much of that stuff can be a poison, you know."

Both visibly pale.

"Tube."

Moonie gives you the tube and you read the ingredients. While you're not exactly sure of the effects of many foods or chemicals on horses, much less technicolour magical ones, the rule of thumb seems to be that most ways things affect you do the same to them.

"No fluride, but... Sorbitol."

"What's that?" the two squeak in unison.

"Just a syrupy alcohol thing to make toothpaste taste sweet. But in higher dosages... Well, it works as a laxative."

Trixie turns to Moonie to give a loud "HAH!" right in her face. Moonie just looks down in defeat.

"And as punishment for getting her to do it, you'll be cleaning any mess she makes."

The colour completely drains from Trixie as Moonie glances at her from the corner of her eyes while sharp teeth in a grin wider than her jaw. Yes, there would be mess. Now you do feel a little, kind of, sorta bad for making that the punishment. Though only a little.

90 The Return of Nightmare Looms

Just about everyone in the room is glaring your way. You look across the long table, mayors, delegates a sheriff, and councillors occupying every seat of the great stretch, to see Princess Celestia and Ms. Harshwhinny. The Princess gives you an apologetic smile while Ms. Harshwhinny has her notorious 'annoyed at everything and everyone just for existing' face.

"Mayor Anonymous," begins one Mayor from Vanhoover in a haughty and self-important stance, "There has still not been an official vote. Just because the Princess revealed in confidence that her vote would go to Ponyville does not mean that will be the outcome."

"Here-here," call out a couple other members of Equestria's Bureaucratic Table.

"Alright, alright. Settle down," you reply with your hands up to try and put a stop to anyone else making sure their opinion is heard and stalling conversation,"I don't know how these things go. What do we do?"

Mayors, delegates, and councillors exchange grins.

"Ahem," goes Ms. Harshwhinny, grabbing everyone's attention, "You'll each make a short pitch on why your town would be suited to host the next Equestria Games. Everyone puts it to an anonymous vote, three votes each and we do it again and again until there is a clear majority for a town. This is make sure there is no disputes later like we've so often had in the past. Then an inspector such as myself will go to whichever town gets the most. If that town fails, the inspector will go to the second town and so on."

"Does that clear up everything, Mayor Anonymous?" the Crystal Empire delegate asks while looking down her nose at you.

You nod solemnly.

"And for the record," continues Ms. Harshwhinny, "There is no leaving this room until a clear vote is finalised. I don't care what happens. We'll order pizza and even the delivery guy will be stuck here until the vote is finished. Understood?"

Everyone nods then the Sheriff stands up to take the first go.

"Appleloosa is a fine country town with plenty wide open spaces fer any kinda sport. While we ain't got a lot of them fancy facilities you folks got here in the city, anywheres the Equestria Games might need can be built within days with our labour force seein' as we been explaindin' the place an all."

"And that rat's nest called the Salt Block," whispers one nearby councillor to another as the two snicker.

The sheriff's attention fixates on them through his peripheral but he ignores the two and carries on, brimming with pride for his town. Gazing around, you see various members rolling their eyes, looking superior at the Sheriff, or just flatly ignoring him. And yet the Sheriff shrugs it all off and instead keeps talking about Appleloosa. While you're not sure if a small remote town is the best place for the games, you like the Sheriff. He seems the be the only one here talking this seriously and actually listening to everyone else. So that might be one vote.

Next is a mare mayor from Baltimare, followed by a delegate for the Crystal Empire. A few other members decline to enlist their city for various reasons, such as Applewood whose stadiums are in repair. That leaves the towns in the running to be: Appleloosa, Baltimare, Califoalnia, Chicoltgo, Crete, Crystal Empire, Fillydelphia, Foaledo, Griffonstone, Hoofington, Las Pegasus, Manehattan, Mullumbrumby, New Horseleans, Our Town, Ponyville (Naturally), Salt Lick City, Seaward Shoals, Smokey, Trottingham, Vanhoover, Whinnyapolis, and Yakyakistan.

And it all goes south from there. A panicky looking clerk bursts into the room. Even from the opposite end of the room you can hear her hyperventilating as her heavy whisper to Princess Celestia echoes through the room.

"My Princess, the town is in a panic. Nightmare Moon, she has returned," the clerk breathes.

All the delegates, councillors, mayors, and the sheriff look at you the instant word carries their way. Their glares are harsh, unforgiving, and full of nothing but the scornful arrogance that only the upper-class can master. Princess Celestia pauses for a moment, then when she finally looks your way her eyes are puzzled. There's no judgement behind those eyes. They trust and believe to a fault, instead they are curious. They know something isn't at it seems and they know that you know something.

"Mayor Anonymous of Ponyville," a regal tone carries Celestia's voice, "You were charged with the care of Nightmare Moon."

"Yes," you reply flatly.

Everyone's attention hangs for a moment before anyone realises that was all you had to say on the matter.

"Do you have an explanation or any idea what might have happened?"

"I do not," you lie, "So, we best get on with this vote?"

"Preposterous!" Bellows the minotaur of Crete, "Even we Minotaur has to deal with Nightmare Moon's tyranny. This needs to be handled now."

"Actually, you heard Ms. Harshwhinny earlier. Nobody gets out. No matter what. Even that clerk is stuck here until a decision is made."

Everyone seated exchanges looks as they realise what is going on, or at least begin to suspect. The clerk just looks around puzzled as everyone refuses to meet her gaze. Until he makes his way toward the door. Then Ms. Harshwhinny blocks her way with a stern glare that is hardy enough to break even the hardiest of will.

"Really?" The poor clerk murmurs as she resigns herself to fate.

Ms. Harshwhinny turns to her audience and declares in a hardened tone, "Vote!"

Every head in the room, save for Ms. Harshwhinny and Princess Celestia, ducks down for cover to write their three votes on pieces of paper. After a few short seconds, Ms. Harashwhinny, goes around the room to collect all the ballots into a little box. Once she returns to the head of the table she gives the box a vigorous shake and begins to count them all. Then she announces the top five.

Appleloosa: 14
Vanhoover: 14
Ponyville: 12
Crete: 10
Mullumbrumby: 8

Everyone groans.

"Yes, yes. Again. Quickly now," Ms. Harshwhinny commands.

"Really, Princess. Don't you think we should really let this go this time. The fate of Equestria could very well be in great peril."

Before answering the Princess glances your way, "I'm afraid not. Rules are rules."

Then everyone else tries to steal glances your way too. And with that, everyone hastily scrawls their votes. Ms. Harshwhinny enjoying the opportunity to have an entire room captive drags out the ballot counting until she announces the landslide winner, with 42 votes, Ponyville.

The Princess and the Sheriff are the only ones polite enough to applaud and congratulate you. The rest are already run outside screaming and squealing like pigs from the butcher shop.

"I trust you'll handle Nightmare Moon?" the Princess asks with her famous smile™.

"With all due respect, your highness," the Sheriff scoffs in disbelief, "Shouldn't you or the elements of harmony deal with Nightmare Moon?"

"Ah, I wouldn't bother them. If she's really caused trouble then I'll ground Moonie. Should do the trick."

"Moonie?" gasps the Sheriff with such open-mouthed surprise that you thought his moustache would fall off.

"I'm off. It was nice seeing you Princess and I hope you get it next time Sheriff. You sold me on Appaloosa."

"Uh, yes. Right. Thank you. You should come and visit some time," he says while shaking your hand idly as his mind still recovers.

The town square where you said you'd meet Moonie at this time is deserted. Not a soul in sight. You look around and notice a rustling in a bush. Rolling your eyes, you head over and put your back to it.

"I wonder where Moonie--"

And then Moonie leaps out, fangs bared, with forehooves and wings stretched out to make the little filly seem bigger than she is.

"Is that how you were scaring folks?"

"Not at first. First is was up on that building across the way. I made a little smoke and thundered my voice shouting the speech about my return. Then it was mainly just popping up," she cackles while revelling in the despair of ponies, "I like it here."

"You only say that because nobody is scared of you back in Ponyville unless it's a tourist."

Moonie pouts a little at that remark.

"I'm doing all this hard work to help you and this is how you say thanks."

"Yes, you're right." You give an exaggerated bow, waving your hand in circles as you bend as low as possible, "Forgive me, my queen. I am truly grateful for your efforts have won us the day."

Moonie laughs then says, "So, we got it? It worked?"

"Yes, as silly as your plan was. It worked quite well. Now I've got to work out how we're going to host this thing," you sigh.

"Then I win! So I'm picking dinner."

"Yes. Yes."

"What's the most expensive restaurant in town?"

"Really?" you splutter, "I'm surprised you weren't going to be all over that new burger place here. Or maybe Donut Joes."

"Yeah, that's a good point. But then... Which to choose you know?"

You sigh a breathe of relief at having turned her attention away from costly. You know how expensive some places here can get, your wallet might never recover.

"Which?"

"I'm thinking! One second."

"Tick-tock," you tease.

Moonie pokes her tongue out at you. As she thinks, you stare around the square. It's still empty. Off in the distance and in a couple windows a few ponies can be seen fearfully peeking at what be their last hope for Equestrian kind. You snicker but also feel a little bad for them all. It's probably best not to loose Moonie like that, well it's definitely a bad idea, but if she doesn't work off some of that 'doom and domination' energy then she'll wreak havoc in the house.

"I'm surprised at you, is all."

"Hmm?"

"I figured you the greedy type."

Moonie's eyes widen as realisation dawns and excitement builds.

"Three, at most," you interrupt.

"Burgers, donuts, and pizza! Let's do it!"

Moonie cheers and bellows over and over about it for the rest of the afternoon.

91 A Trip into the Everfree

You're barely off the train from Canterlot when Moonie tries to make a break for it. You grab her by the scruff of the neck and turn her to face you.

"Where are we off to?"

"Nowhere," she shrugs.

"Oh, then you can take your bag," you reply handing the thing in question.

She impatiently clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes.

"Me, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle are going to venture into the Everfree."

"It's and I. When listing people you should put yourself last."

"Why?" A puzzled Moonie asks.

"It's impolite," you answer, unsure if there was ever a proper grammatical reason.

"But," Moonie pauses to think about it, "I'm more important."

"Yeah, I bet you think that. So why is Sweetie Belle last?"

"Because I can't say all their names at once so I just went alphabetically," plainly replies Moonie as if that were obvious to all but you.

"Do I need to remind you about safety in that Forest?"

"No," she replies in a exasperated drone as she repeats part of the lecture you've always given her, "Don't stray from the path, I'm not to go too deep into the Forest, and if we encounter any animals or monsters we are to quietly turn back immediately."

You nod and take her bags off her which excites the little filly as she darts off to find her friends. As you're heading home with all the luggage in tow, you grumble about not receiving a thank you at all which earns you the giggles of a few mothers nearby who overheard.

The sky has been painted with sprawling hues of blue, orange, and pink that looks a little captivating out the kitchen window. Then you rinse the glass you were drinking from and note that it's getting late yet Moonie still hasn't returned. While you trust Moonie and the girls to be... mostly safe in the Everfree Forest, you can't help but hear a little voice of doubt and worry. It doesn't take long for it to eat at you, so you head out to go check on them.

The entrance to the Everfree isn't too far away from Sweet Apple Acres, so you head over the there. Usually that's where they all hang out if not in the town. The wide reaches of the farm is a rather idyllic play area for any child really.

"Hey," you wave to Granny Smith, "How's things?"

"Oh, Mayor Anonymous. Things are good, I'm just taking a breather while I let the ol' cider air out."

You notice a mug of foaming cider on the floor beside the old mare as she rocks back and forth on a deck chair.

"Moonie around?"

"Not that I know of. Ain't seen them since morning. Everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course," you say in your best attempt at 'I'm not an overly worried parent' as you try to play it cool, "It's just almost tea time and all that. You know."

"Ah, yep. Sounds about right. Well, if Applebloom is with her, could you send her home. It's nearly dinner time here too. We're having Apple Stew."

There's the urge to question Granny about her endlessly apple-themed diet, but you decide against it. It might be rude. But you always wonder about it. Because either she should be sick of them by now, might have a deficiency in some vitamins or something, or maybe it explains her long life span. She is one of, if not the, eldest pony in Ponyville after all.

"Well, I'd best be off then. Take care Mrs. Granny."

She glowers at you briefly, knowing you did it deliberately but still waves you off with a hearty smile. While you could look around town a bit more, just in case, you figure it most likely that they never left the forest. And so, that is where you go.

There's something about the Everfree Forest and then endless directions it seems to lead off into that makes you think that at some point you'll look up into the trees and there will be a cat grinning its little grin. And in some small way, you're little disappointed when there isn't. There really aught to be, sometimes this world just doesn't really follow the proper narrative expectations.

The Everfree Forest, known for it's dark, gloomy, and ominous atmosphere looked dark, gloomy, and ominous. You follow the path but look out past the foggy tree line for any sign of fillies that strayed off the track. While there isn't, sometimes it seems like something stares back. Letting her go in here was stupid.

Pushing the thought of monsters out of your mind only lets you focus on worry for the girls. And so you're in this weird thoughtful conundrum where you'd rather not worry endlessly about the girls for hopefully no reason, but the alternative is to worry about whether you're alone in theses woods right now. Both of which wrack your nerves as you push deeper in.

"Uh, you know, I'm not really so sure it was such a good idea coming in here in the first place, you know? And we definitely shouldn'ta walked off the path like that." Applebloom stammers, determined to fill the silence.

Birds caw, the trees rustle in the wind, and hoofsteps on dirt are the only things you can hear otherwise.

"It was your idea," Scootaloo grumbles.

"No it wasn't," shrieks Applebloom indignantly.

"Yeah, Applebloom's idea was to come here. It was Moonie's idea to walk off the track," squeals Sweetie Belle.

"We're almost out." you reply in a bid to calm them down as you feel three sets of eyes burrow into your back.

"We should have stayed on the track, we're going to get into trouble," one of them states, it's hard to tell which as all their voices start to sound the same when they whine like this.

"Look, we're back on it now and heading home. Relax, we're not going to get in trouble. Maybe a little for being so late but we'll be back well before it's dark."

Your tone is firm, and a little on the harsh side. But it seemed to do the trick. The paranoia and fear that was swamping them earlier fades. Clarity prevails. For now.

"Still, shame we couldn't find that manticore," grumbles Scootaloo.

That sours your mood now. It was the whole reason the four of you stepped of the track in the first place. You found manticore tracks and wanted to see one, dragging the protesting crusaders behind you.

"Uh, girls," Sweetie Belles softly squeaks.

"Probably would have been a bad anyway," Applebloom replies to Scootaloo, completely ignoring Sweetie.

"It's not like we were going to get close to it. Just look. Right Moonie?"

"Girls, little problem," Sweetie reiterates.

You turn around to try and put a stop to the endless chattering they're making when you notice just behind a wide-eyed and terrified Sweetie Belle towers a manticore.

While trying to step over a fallen tree, you stamp your foot into a puddle of mud that sprays all the way up your shirt.

"Typical," you remark as you try to flick off the chunky bits.

There's still no sign of anyone, let alone a group of four fillies. Just as you begin to resign yourself to admitting it might be best to head back and grab a few people, you hear shouting. In an instant, you break into a run heading towards the noise. Hanging leaves and over-extending branches whip your body but you keep going until you see a mass of shapes in the distance.

You push harder now. You feet hit the ground so hard your knees tremble a little before you're upon the group and the manticore.

"Anon?" squeals Sweetie Belle, "You shoulda seen it."

The manticore is out cold. No marks on it or any of the fillies give away what happened.

"Sleep spell," Moonie beams maliciously, "Can we keep it?"

"No!"

You reply is quick and escapes your lips before you can even think about the possibilities for terror that would cause. Looking at how massive the thing is, it's easy to see that this one would stand nearly as tall as you are. Your eyes are drawn to examining it, from it's wings, to it's large fangs protruding from an under-bite, and its massive paws would have to hide claws large and sharp enough to do all sorts of damage that you don't even want to think of.

"Aw, why not?"

A million reasons fill the mind. Most clearly of all, that it's wild and dangerous. But rather get into that argument, you opt to get straight into discipline. You straighten, harden your glare, and temper your voice.

"Because it's late and you're in trouble. All of you. Now march your butts back home now before I get angry."

"You mean he isn't mad already," Scootaloo tries murmur to Moonie. But you hear, scowl and she accepts her fate of walking back with her head down low.

Inside you sigh a deep sigh of relief at having found them all unharmed. And deeper in your mind you think about what Moonie just asked. Definitely not a manticore, there's not a chance that would ever happen. But maybe something else.

All of the crusaders walk back looking deflated, Moonie however, her ego inflated to the point of swelling at having beat a manticore so deftly and single-handed. This would be something you'd hear about for a long, long time.

92 The Late Night Show with Sir Bearington Starring Moonie

There's a crappy ten second opening theme playing while the lights are dim and so the audience begins clapping and cheering. As the stage lights up, Sir Bearington stands there in a suit grinning his stitched mouth widely.

"Hello, hello, everybody. I am Sir Bearington, the cuddliest evil minion and your host."

The audience claps and whoops.

"We've got a great show planned tonight with a very, very special guest."

Oo's escape the audience's lips.

"The one, the only supreme queen of the eternal void beyond, Nightmare Moon, Moonie," Sir Bearington bellows over the audiences thunderous cheers and clapping.

A light flicks on above you, revealing you to all which causes the crowd to get even louder. Truly, your subjects don't just love you, they adore you. You find yourself raising your head proudly with a haughty air and they love it.

"Alright folks," cheerfully shouts Sir Bearington, "If you keep that up we will never get to know our dearest mistress."

Instantly, the audience falls silent. There's a few hushed whispers here and there but they go deathly silent once more.

"Before we get to the interview, a bit of news in the world. Don't worry, I'll be quick. It seems all the bakeries in Canterlot have had to stop selling cakes to the Princess of the sun," Sir Bearington delivers the Celestial object with scorn to which the crowd jeers in unison, "It appears she has CAKED on the pounds."

You let out a single loud "HA!" and the crowd roars into laughter, eager to appease the night and Equestria's true ruler.

"And also, here in Ponyville, it seems the Mayor's ever iron grip has not waned as his attention and security was rigorously tested. Thieves, identities unknown, tried to steal a cookie from the kitchen jar multiple times. But Anonymous' vigilance caught them each time before they were given an early bed time."

At this, the crowd begins to chant, "Down with the false tyrant, up with Moonie!" Until Sir Bearington gestures for them to simmer down.

"And finally, we have a special bit of news. It appears we might be getting a pet--"

Sir Bearington was interrupted by the eruption from the audience as they all begin to scream, cheer, and shriek as loud as possible in the excitement. It takes several moments for them to tire themselves out enough for Sir Bearington to roar for silence.

"He has been seen going into a pet shop to look around and talk to the mare on the register TWICE now. So this will be our vote for tonight's show. What pet should we get? Option one, a dragon but better than Twilight's. Option 2, a three-headed Tartarus hound. Lastly, option 3, phoenix. We will tally the votes and reveal the answer at the end of the program."

The audience claps and a little quick jingle plays from a nearby band as Sir Bearington waddles over to sit behind his desk.

"Now, Mistress Moonie, may I call you that?"

"Yes," you nod, "I also accept; my queen, your majesty, empress, eternal one, princess of the night, the mare in the moon, the terribly tenacious tyrant of timeless totality, and obviously Nightmare Moon."

Sir Bearington joins in with the audience's chuckle.

"I would like to ask the question that is on everyone's lips. Mare, Stallion, filly, and colt alike. When will you be taking over again?"

The crowd lets out hushed whispers in eager anticipation.

"I have a special announcement on that for your guests, Sir Bearington."

His soft plushy head bops up and down as he too eagerly awaits your declaration.

"THIS VERY MOMENT," you howl before erupting into maniacal evil laughter.

Suddenly the show comes to a grinding halt. You're sitting there in your room, surrounded by your toys, as the door creaks open.

The human's face peers in before speaking in a very weary voice, "Moonie, it's 4am."

"I know so you're really cutting into my me time here."

With a tired sigh, Anon rubs his face and leaves you be. Anonymous' interruption spoiled your immersion quite considerably so you decide just to have Sir Bearington wrap up the show hastily and get to plotting some prank to wake Anon up with in a few hours. Perhaps something involving cake batter.

93 There has to be something in the stocking that makes noise. Otherwise, what is 4:30am for?

"HAPPY HEARTH'S WARMING!"

The shrill shriek of delight comes across more as the great big horn the barbarian horde would blow before an ambush as Moonie leaps into the air and huddles into a ball before landing with extreme force onto your sleeping gut. You're unable to get a word out as all the air was forced out upon impact but you jolt enough to fall out of bed.

"You okay?" Moonie cackles.

Opening your eyes to groan and complain, you find yourself surrounded by the dark.

"What time is it?"

"Like 1:00 am."

"Why did you wake me then?"

"Cause it's Hearth's Warming and I want to open my presents."

"You know, normal families do this when the sun is up?"

"What part of us is normal? There's you human from another world and me a millennia old tyrant trapped in the form of a filly. Oh, and there's the freeloader."

Still laying face down on the ground, you spy in the corner of your eye Trixie, eating away at a peanut butter cup.

"If you're up, Trixie demands to know if we are opening gifts."

"YES! We are because that's two against one," Moonie jumps with glee on your bed.

"Since when did you follow the democratic way?"

"Since it helps me get my way but if that doesn't work then get your smelly butt up because I want to open presents."

With a squeal Moonie leaps off the bed and scampers down the hall.

"Trixie will see you out there."

"Thanks," you grumble as you try to pick your weary body off the floor.

Shuffling about, you get into the lounge room to slump into your chair. Moonie flicks on the tree lights which is a little blinding at first with all it's coloured hues. You look the gaudy thing over. It looks like a simple tree at first, if you take a very quick glance at it from the periphery; with tinsel, lights, and baubles. Sitting at the top is a skull, grinning there instead of anything even remotely traditional. Not a real one of course, a resin one though it looks kind of real at a glance.

And because Moonie got her way with an addition, Trixie had to get one. So she had her name spelt out in the lights. Naturally then Moonie wanted her name too. But that meant Moonie got two things. So Trixie put a wizard hat much like her own on top of the skull. Then Moonie got upset because her item was meant to be the highest thing on the tree. Even the memory of the argument those two had over three days is giving you a headache.

At some point they also decided to put your name in the tree, though you're not sure when and you're not about to ask when or why. It is kind of a nice thing for them to decide to do and you don't want to ruin that.

"Me first," Moonie shouts.

"What? No fair. Just for that, the generous and patient Trixie should go first."

Moonie pokes her tongue out but before Trixie can rise to the bait, you step in.

"How about we all open a gift each."

You hand each a present which neither wastes a second in tearing apart. Trixie gets her's out first. '1001 magic tricks! Including 25 props!' the box reads. She smiles at you and says thank you which is muffled under the maniacal laughter from Moonie. '1,000 toy soldiers' her box reads.

"THE ARMY HATH ASSEMBLED!"

"No, you have to do that," Trixie points out with glee.

This deflates Moonie a little.

"Really? What are sprues?" she asks as she looks at what Trixie is pointing to.

"You assemble the bits yourself and paint them. You can even mix and match these yourself," you shrug in an attempt to hide your unease at her sudden lack of interest, "Who knows, you could make one big army or make several."
This brightens her up a bit.

"Well... This makes it difficult. One legion under my banner would seem to be the best option but then what force would be the opposition."

"Good point."

"Yes, for what point is there in a warrior without war?!"

Moonie continues to monologue as you unwrap your gift which just so happens to be a joint gift from the two. And it's as if a golden light was shining from the box within as a broad smile stretches your jaw to the limit.

You got exactly what you wanted.

Author's Note

It's a robanukah miracle. I got into a festive spirit for once and did a holiday-themed chapter. Maybe next year I'll do Krampusnacht.

Happy holidays folks.

94 The Shoe is on the other Hoof

"Moonie, what are you sulking in here for?"

The linen closet door swings open revealing Trixie.

"How'd you know I was in here?"

"Magic," she shrugs.

"You know locator magic?" Actually a little impressed... Well, very impressed but you mask it well enough so she'd only think you're a little impressed.

Then she takes the corner of a sheet that was poking out from under the door and tucks it in.

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, come check check this out."

Trixie smiles before wandering off and there was something in it that has you curious. It wasn't a regular kind of happy though you're unable to place what it is exactly. Trixie leads you into backyard where her wagon sits. As the two of you enter, you're hit with the great musky smell of a room that has had someone in it for days without airing.

"You do have windows, right?"

Trixie lifts her nose and sniffs.

"Huh, guess the studious and busy Trixie didn't really notice it till now," she laughs like she's enjoying it, "That's pretty bad."

The two of you immediately set about opening the place up, even leaving the door open before Trixie gestures you over to a cauldron. It's the kind of cauldron you'd expect to see in some fairytale book with a witch over it almost.

"Trixie found this spell in one of Twilight's books. It lets you see other possibilities."

"Thought you could find a world where you're successful?" you jeer.

"Careful, or the generous and unforgiving Trixie will not let you see what she found."

Curious you raise a brow, knowing full well that Trixie could never let a silence go by without filling it with boasting.

"While looking into the infinite universe's woven web of possibilities, I, Trixie, found a universe where you and Anon have your roles reversed."

"What?!"

"Yeah. You Nightmare Moon are the adult and Anonymous the child."

"How did that happen?"

"Well, I was going from one probability--"

"I don't care about the spell, I want to know how I could, as an adult, adopt some ugly little alien from another world?"

Trixie shrugs, "I can't exactly look into the past and future in these scenarios. It all carries out as if it's another world like ours and I've not overheard anyone talk about it."

You click your tongue in frustration. That'd be something interesting but you press Trixie onward to get her moment of self-appreciation out of the way before looming over the cauldron to watch.

"ANONYMOUS!"

The house is silent. The adult Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes as she walks into a room full of toys spread out all over the floor. Using her magic she scoops them up to dump into a chest before searching.

"Ugh, that me spoils him way too much."

Trixie just rolls her eyes, refusing to comment on the fact that you have just as many toys as kid Anon.

"Just watch."

"Bath," bellows Nightmare Moon as she lifts up the bed to find a gleefully screaming human child.

"Only if you give me a donut."

"HA! Like I'd fall for that again."

"For a snack."

"We both know you wouldn't eat it. Now, bath."

The human gets up to scurry away as Nightmare Moon watches but the second he turns the wrong direction she lifts him up with magic and carries him like that.

"Magic is cheating," he chimes in one of those irritating sing-song ways.

Once he is placed down in the bathroom Nightmare Moon glares at him. He smiles sheepishly then begins to undress as Nightmare Moon closes the door. She sighs.

"When is dinner?" asks a familiar voice, "Trixie is hungry."

"WHAT?! Will we never be rid of you?" You screech at Trixie from across the cauldron.

The mare just stares unenthusiastic ally at you.

"Oh, settle down. It was just a joke."

The stare continues.

"Fine, I'll shut up and watch."

Once dinner is ready, the three sit down and eat. You're not sure what it is they're eating. It's like a sludge with various oddities floating about along a side of something leafy. One one hand it's funny knowing that your creative cooking skills are universal but on the other hand you're a little annoyed at the other you for whatever that is.

"HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" Trixie screams.

"ANON! Stop picking your nose."

A thick pale green glob comes out on his finger as he grins at Trixie.

"The doctor says it's good for my immune system," he continues to grin as he slowly brings closer to his mouth, all the while other Trixie is yelling no over and over.

"If you're so hungry, eat what's in front of you," scolds Nightmare Moon as she magics over a tissue to wipe off the nugget.

But as soon as Nightmare Moon turns away, Anon's finger goes right back up. Trixie naturally yells about it but the finger is out as soon Nightmare even turns to look.

"What's going on in here?" Says Anon as he wanders into the wagon.

"I'm realising how I'm glad I am that I'm not the parent here."

"And why is that?" He asks, slightly offended.

"Cause then I'd be the one with those circles under your eyes. You're exhausting as a child."

"You wanna explain?" He asks Trixie.

She rolls her eyes then takes the opportunity to boast about herself, this time leaving out the part where she got it from one of Twilight's books. Then Anon watches with you. Occasionally when adult you does something annoying you indulge the urge to point out his equivalent of it or how he does the same thing. Like making you go to bed when you're not tired. So he in turn points out every time kid him does something annoying what your version of that is. Except the nose picking thing. That nastiness is all him it seems.

95 Fate Conspires

"Wait. Who fixed what?" You ask the doorway Moonie was standing in a moment ago where she yelled an incomplete sentence before zipping off.

"Trixie has fixed the cauldron," she returns to roll her eyes at you.

"It broke?"

"She couldn't use it to look back an the other world's history, remember?"

"And she can now?" You ask getting excited.

You grab a couple bags of chips then the two of you dart off immediately to burst into Trixie's wagon.

"TRIXIE WANTS--" shrieks Trixie before you cut her off by shoving a bag into her mouth.

Then the three of you huddle around the cauldron as Trixie looms over the cauldron to tune it in.

"So, obviously we're going to find out how big me gets stuck with snot-nose Anon, right?"

Trixie nods.

"I wonder what unspeakable evil she must have done," Moonie grins, "To be dealt such an unbearable punishment."

"I doubt she did anything."

Moonie looks up, a curious brow raised.

"She seemed like a bit of a softie to me."

Moonie's face goes red, likely a mix of embarrassment and anger, then tries to shout but can't seem to work out what she wants to say. All she manages to splutter is various indignant noises. You smile at her, having done what you set out to do. While she does seem a softie compared to what you've heard she used to be like, tyrannical dictator after all, you doubt that wasn't the reason. Likely Moonie is closer to the mark but it's just one of Celestia's reform tactics she does.

"Trixie?"

She looks up with a mouth coated in chip salt.

"What?"

"What do you reckon?"

She shrugs, "Trixie isn't even sure how you two ended up together."

"I still haven't told you that story yet?"

"Oh, I've still not told you that story?"

"No. And you promised Trixie you would."

"Okay, well sometime after this I will."

Trixie rolls her eyes, not believing a word of it then finishes her final element of her magic and is able to finally weave into another world.

Adult Nightmare Moon is skulking around Canterlot Castle at night. She takes a few steps then stops at a window to look up into the stars to mumble something unintelligible.

"What's up?" squeaks a chipper little human.

Nightmare Moon looks down and then growls, flashing her pearly white and razor sharp teeth widely at him.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" he asks, seeming to be completely unfazed by the horror show in front of him.

"Leave mortal creature. Lest I swallow you whole."

"Princess Celestia says when I'm in a bad mood I should talk about it," kid Anon adds before sitting beside Nightmare Moon.

"You're not scared?"

"Nah."

There's a bit of silence in those wide marbled halls as Nightmare Moon seems to appraise the child beside her for a while. Then once she seems to reach some conclusion in her head, she rolls her eyes and nudges him to his feet.

"Come on, where is your room?"

Anon tells her and the two quietly walk through the halls. Once there, she shoves Anon in and closes the door behind her. Only, Nightmare is barely down before Anon appears beside her again.

"What?" she looks back to see the door was silently left open.

"I'm Anon. Short for Anonymous cause nobody knows where I'm from. Huh, that kinda rhymes. I'm Anon and nobody knows where I'm from. Anon, I don't where where I'm from," chirps Anonymous.

"I don't care."

"Hi 'I don't care.' That's an odd name," he giggles.

"It's actually Nightmare Moon," she hisses back, 'Now go to bed."

"I'm not tired."

Nightmare Moon grips him by the back of the collar with her magic, lifts him into the air much to Anon's delighted squeals, and plunks him back down into bed.

"Sleep. It appears that is what the night must be for."

Nightmare Moon's tone is bitter and icy, none is directed at Anon as her eyes seem to glaze back to some place else.

"Night time is the best time to explore though."

"What?"

"Yeah, everyone else is asleep so I can do what I want."

"Not everyone. There are many guards patrolling for little trouble makers like you."

"They've never caught me before," the kid grins mischievously.

Nightmare Moon tries to contain the smile on her face and does a good job of it after a second. It's hard to tell if Anon noticed the brief flash of a grin as he seems almost lost in his own world.

"I'm thirsty."

"Fine," Nightmare grunts, "You stay here, I'll get you something."

And with a huff and a puff, Nightmare Moon blusters off to the kitchen. The halls are as empty as they always are. Nightmare Moon thinks about the guards, namely about how she herself never sees them. Though in her case, it's likely they all avoid her. Which is fine. She'd rather be left alone anyway.

Once Nightmare Moon arrives into the kitchen, she steps up the fridge and stops. Then she looks down beside her to find Anon smiling up at her.

"I thought I told you to stay put."

"You did."

There's a pause.

"Why didn't you?"

"Cause I'm thirsty now," Anon replies matter-of-factly as if it's clear as day.

Then Anon grabs a nearby wooden chair and begins to slide it over. The legs grip onto the floor to make an awful screeching noise as they slide.

"Stop!"

He stops then when Nightmare says nothing more, Anon starts pushing again.

"Look, just--Ugh!" Nightmare Moon lifts the chair with her magic and brings it over to a nearby bench.

"But I want to sit there," Anon protests with the kind of whine only a really annoying child can muster.

With another heave of magic, the chair is over where he wanted it.

"Happy?"

"I could have just sat there if it's such a bother."

Teeth mash and grind together in Nightmare's mouth while an eyeball twitches. But that fades away the second Anon snickers, letting her catch onto what is going on.

"Funny," comments Nightmare as she fills a glass with water then puts it in front of Anon, "Drink then bed."

"Ok."

"No more getting out of bed. No more trouble. No more following me. Just sleep."

"I said okay."

"And I don't believe you."

He laughs into his drink, blowing little bubbles, "You catch on quicker than Celestia."

Internally, Nightmare cheers herself on. The cheering going from just one little version of herself clapping before multiplying into an amphitheatre full of Nightmare Moons clapping and cheering a singular Nightmare Moon at the centre. That one bows and revels in all the praise as roses are thrown at her hooves. Externally she is calm and composed, refusing to give any hint she is riding that little comment all the way into superior smugness.

Once Anon has has his drink, the two walk back to his room where Nightmare tucks him in. She uses her magic to get it very tight but once Anon rolls onto his side, the blanket comes undone. But she didn't need to worry as the kid softly yawns and seems content to finally stay in bed.

It's breakfast, the next day. Princess Celestia and Luna sit at the head of the table. On one side is Anon, eating some cereal and happily humming to himself and on the other is Nightmare Moon who is grumpily glaring at anyone who looks her way. Then down the rest of the table is various noble stallions and mares, though there is a three seat gap between Nightmare Moon and the most terrified stallion.

Anon looks up at Nightmare Moon who glares at him so he smiles back.

"I want him seated somewhere else."

Celestia and Luna seem to perk up at this, even exchanging curious looks.

"Who?" Luna asks.

"Anon. The child."

"You... Know his name?"

"What is so strange about that?"

"He has been here for months and this is the first time you've acknowledged his existence," Luna replies, an angry snappish tone hidden under the overall regal politeness her manner suggests.

"We met last night," mentions Anon.

"Really?" the sisters say in unison with an almost identical smile.

"You weren't scared of her, were you Anonymous?" Luna prods, her grin growing all the more.

"Nah, it's funny when she tries to be scary."

"Oh," Celestia gives a sideways smirk to Moonie, "So, you don't find Miss Nightmare Moon scary at all?"

Little Anon shakes his head.

"Then how would you describe her?"

Celestia's grin seems to grow as she watches Anon mull over his reply. Every second seems to stretch it a little bit more as if she knows what's coming. Even her quick glances at Nightmare Moon give that away.

"Um, silly, or... maybe cute."

Nightmare Moon's eyes shrink to the barest of pin-pricks before enlarging with a furious rage. Clouds begin to swell overhead and the crackling of thunder can be heard outside.

"What?" snarls Nightmare Moon as lightning flashes beyond the nearest window, reflecting off her razor sharp teeth.

The whole scene terrifies the nearby ponies. A few even duck under the table. Luna only now gives a cautious look to her sister who returns it as they both wonder if Celestia pushed too far. It's hard to tell where Nightmare Moon's short fuse ends after all.

Nightmare's nose pushes against Anon's as she growls at him.

"Hello Nightie," Anon grins, deliberately oblivious to Nightmare's temper.

"I am the night incarnate born beyond entropy. All your and every pony's nightmares made corporeal is my form. The power I wield is the moon's fury. Fear me!"

Anon muffles a snicker before letting out a very poor wail of fear which brighten's Nightmare's face up. Though you're not sure if she knows he is clearly pretending or not.

"The end hath come for you, Anonymous the human child," she cackles loudly.

Anon giggles a little and then scurries to his feet to run off. As he runs through the halls a mix of shrieks and giggles can be heard while Nightmare Moon gives chase, cackling all the while.

"MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Sister, I know what you're thinking." Luna remarks as she steps beside Celestia.

"Can you blame me?"

"They do seem a... an odd match."

"They're both very odd," Celestia adds with a nod, "She'll protest every moment though."

"Maybe outwardly, but it appears to us that she has taken a shine to him."

"I think you're right, sister."

"Dibs on the declaration," Luna beams wryly.

Celestia scoffs irritably at having not seeing that coming and on missing out. Nightmare Moon's face is going to be priceless.

"By all that is evil, kid you is intolerable."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black," you reply in your best sing-song imitation of kid you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Moonie barks back.

"Get out! Both of you," Bellows Trixie.

96 Where HAVE you been?

As the foam builds in your mouth while brushing, you hearing the rapid scampering on Moonie running up and down the house. You roll your eyes, knowing she is up to something but you've been working a lot and aren't too bothered by the fact. The scampering gets softer and louder as she seems to be running through the different rooms of the house. Something about this does make you wonder what exactly she is up to. And then, the pitter-patter gets louder and louder until she leaps into the bathroom doorway.

"Where have you been?" She asks with a bratty stamp of her hoof.

Looking into the reflection, you can see her pouting about something. So, you spit out the toothpaste and rinse before turning to her.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't seen you all week. Your queen demands a better service than this of her household host."

Internally, you note the strange demotion and yet promotion. Normally she calls you her second or third in command, perhaps her most faithful minion or something. Unless she is being bratty you're nothing more than a servant or an insect. But this time you're a household host? It's an odd one too.

"I made you dinner a few hours ago, you saw me then."

She shakes her head in defiance of the facts. You just let out an exasperated sigh in reply. You suspect she's just acting out because you've been so busy. And you do feel some guilt about that, but at the same time it is your job.

"If I have been in need of something, I have been forced to acquire Sir Bearington's servitude or Trixie's. Both of which are at about the same skill level at both tasks."

You nod solemnly, though also make sure any humour you find at the insult toward Trixie is completely internal. Moonie doesn't seem to notice anything, thankfully.

"Well, then I fall to my knees in supplication your majesty," you state in an overly dramatic tone.

Moonie waits for a moment, "You haven't actually fallen to your knees yet. What kind of apology is this?"

"Not a very good one. Come on, we'll eat ice-cream instead."

In an instant, Moonie brightens and giddily exclaims in what was more gibberish noises rather than words before sprinting in direction of the kitchen.

"I also demand to be read stories as penance."

"Yeah, sure," you reply.

It might sound to her like you're folding but as soon as she mentioned it, it felt like exactly how you want to spend the rest of the night.

"And we can light the fireplace and get all toasty," Moonie beams while jumping up and down with excitement. She even feigns a shiver to try and sell her request.

"Sounds nice."

You smile then make sure to check if Trixie and Moonie haven't eaten all the ice-cream during the day before getting out two bowls.

"Do you think Fluttershy will let us borrow her bear?"

You stop, "Why?"

"We could use a bear skin rug by the fireplace. For the comfy."

"And how would you borrow that exactly?"

"We'd put it back," she answers in a tone that suggests you're lacking a couple brain cells.

"Absolutely not."

Likely just behind you Moonie is pouting, probably the kind with an angry expression and a pushed out bottom lip. You smile as you scoop out shares of the frozen treat.

"What if we got Rarity to make one then? And it could have gems in it to make it looks like it's an Ursa Major's pelt?"

"Wouldn't it be uncomfortable laying on it if it had hard gems on it?"

"Hm. I guess it would, yeah," Moonie stares up at the ceiling in serious contemplation, "If there some kind of reflective felt out there, maybe?"

"I doubt it."

You lift Moonie up onto the kitchen counter and get out all the toppings like fruit pieces, nuts, cookies, marshmallows, fudge, caramel, and flavoured syrups. She immediately starts making her combination abomination while you just have a couple things. While sometimes you do follow Moonie's lead and get a little silly with the desserts, tonight just isn't that night. Then you grab two spoons, place Moonie back on the floor, and carry the two bowls out into the lounge while Moonie grabs a book.

After a few stories, jokes, and then relaxing; the two of you fall asleep out in the lounge room by the fading warmth of the fireplace. Moonie resting atop your chest, rising and falling with your breathing.

97 Pony Organisational Skills are Awful

"So, do you think you'll be able to handle it?" Cheerilee asks with a hopeful, mostly desperate, smile.

You shrug then nod to which the teacher lets out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank Celestia. I was getting really worried about all this."

"Don't worry. I'm sure we can get this done. A few decorations like streamers and the like is right up Rarity's alley, food stalls can be outsourced to some of the food farmers round here, and as for games there isn't a single pony more suited than Pinkie."

"Think you'll be able to convince them... by tomorrow?"

"Yeah--No--Why tomorrow?" You ask, doing a complete triple take.

"Well, that's when the fundraiser is?"

Cheerilee feigns a cheery smile, hoping to placate you as you rise from your seat.

"Why are you posing that as a question?"

"I don't know. You're clearly angry and I'm worried you won't help now."

And then you let out a long sigh. With a conscious effort, scrunch your face tight then release to make sure you'll look more goofy and annoyed than angry.

"I'm not really angry. You just, really, caught me off guard with that. Why am I hearing about it now?"

"To be completely honest; I've been marking tests and projects, trying to keep my social life, and there was some mandatory training I had to take up in Canterlot last weekend so it's just completely slipped my mind. I'm so sorry about this Mayor Anon but it's why I'm here, I need help."

You fall back into your seat with a half exasperated sigh and half groan. Then watch Cheerilee in silence for a moment. She looks around awkwardly for a minute, avoiding eye contact completely, then the silence gets to her so she speaks.

"Are you still willing to help?"

You nod, "Just thinking of how I'm going to convince Rarity and whoever is going to be the food vendor."

"What about Pinkie?"

"It's a party emergency. If she has the time, she'll do it."

Cheerilee nods as she can't find fault in your point then begins to ponder herself.

"So, do you want food or decorations?"

She looks up at you in shock, as if she just noticed you were there. In your own office.

"Well, you see, I still need to get a few of the children's tests mark--" She pauses when she notices the patience draining from your face. "--Food. I'll talk with a few, the Apple family will probably be the easiest."

"Leaving me with the hard one, are you?"

"You gave me the choice," she smiles a cheeky grin which you return fondly.

"Do you even have the contractor for the playground lined up?" You ask with a sudden realisation.

"Not really. Depends on how much we get. If it's a lot then we'll be able to shop around."

"Fair point." You nod then the two of you say your goodbyes before Cheerilee heads out.

A quick glance at the clock shows you've got plenty of time in the day to get this done but then again, with such a closed deadline, you decide it best to push everything else back and get this out of the way sooner rather than later. You step out of your office and into reception to see Moonie is still where you left her. Thankfully.

Moonie is fiddling away with a few drawings, paper planes, bad attempts at origami from memory, and some short stories of her being the valiant villain saving the day by showing the despot princesses how a real totalitarian does it. The entire receptionist desk looks like a hurricane blew through the place.

"Why does it seem like every pony has awful organisational skills." You ask rhetorically.

Moonie places down her pencil and clears her throat as if she were about to give a lecture.

"I, myself, have always held a rather curious theory about that you know." Her voice is pompous as she feigns an educated accent, poorly.

"Oh?"

"Very well, if I must explain. Now, you see those digits you have on your hand?"

You hold up your hand and give your fingers a little flitter.

"Those, precisely. With those, you can keep track of five whole things. FIVE! Whereas, I, myself, am only able to keep track of." She cuts herself off and raises a hoof with a solemn expression.

"One? Really?"

"Naturally, of course. It's all I can count to. One."

She firmly presses her hoof into the air as if to punctuate her point. Then looks up at you to see if you're buying it. You are not.

"And THAT is why I can't keep my room clean. I can only keep track of one toy and one toy only."

"Then put it away before you get another."

"Ah, but that's where my problem comes in," she smiles as if she's caught you in her trap, "The second I think of a second toy, it is all I'm able to think about! And so I just abandon the old one and there's nothing I can do about it."

"What about Twilight then? She's got better organisational skills out of anyone in town."

Moonie seems to seriously ponder this conundrum for some time before deciding on her answer.

"Magic."

"Magic?"

"Yep, don't gotta explain it. Magic."

"Moonie," you adjust your stance and glare irritably at her, "You can do magic."

"Yeah, but not very well. Duh. I still can't do fire that well, look."

She points her horn at the paper in front of her and it begins to weave a magical aura, you stretch your hands out in front of her and shout, "No, don't!"

Moonie's horn loses its light and her smile glows instead.

"Gotcha."

You sigh what feels like the hundredth sigh today.

"You know what, I need to help Cheerilee organise a fundraiser for the school by tomorrow and you've just volunteered for the committee."

"But--"

"No buts Nightmare Moon."

"I hate when you use my name, you always make it sound like I'm trouble," she grumbles under her breath but you're able to hear.

"That's because you are in trouble. Now let's go to Rarity's."

Once she leaps down from the chair, she beings to march exaggeratedly towards the door. Along the way, turning around to poke her tongue at you. And you, being the mature parental figure that you are, poke yours back.

98 Mrs Evil McSinisterson

"Rarity?" You call out as you knock for the second time then exchange a shrug with Moonie.

It's not quite closing time for Carousel Boutique but last you heard, she was busy with something. Pinkie would probably do the decorations if you asked with her party cannon or something but you'd feel bad dragging her onto a second job when it's such short notice. Besides, Rarity lives for this kind of thing.

"Maybe she isn't--" Moonie moves to mention when the door unlocks and slides open a touch.

"Anonymous? Moonie?"

"Hey, is it a bad time?"

Rarity seems to ponder this for a moment then shakes her head and opens the door for the two of you to enter. Clothes and fabrics are strewn across the boutique. In the centre of the room is a chair surrounded by ponnequins with colourful fabrics draped over them.

"Brainstorming?" Moonie asks as she stands atop the centre chair and whirls around.

"Yes, I've got a fashion show coming up soon and I'm trying to come up with a few last minute ideas."

"Ah, well, we shouldn't be bothering you then," you hastily say before trying to collect the spinning filly and hope that Pinkie is up to the extra job.

"We can at least ask her."

"Ask me what?"

You hesitate as a creeping sense of guilt overcomes you. Rarity's hair is a mess and the accessories like her glasses, pencil behind the ear, and tape measure around the neck really sell the 'work-mode' aura. But Moonie either doesn't take note of these details or simply doesn't care.

"Cheerilee needs a decorator for the school fundraiser."

"Oh, yes. I've got a few bits for--Wait, isn't that tomorrow?"

Moonie nods and Rarity glares at you. Instantly you hands shoot up in surrender.

"Woah, she's usually not this bad at organising and besides this is just a school thing."

"It's a public school," Rarity snaps back.

"And the event is one she announced and organised."

"Well, obviously she didn't do that last part."

"I know. And you're busy--"

A long and heavy sigh flows from Rarity's lips before she looks at you with determination.

"I'll do it."

You look around at the messy workshop and think about how normally clean the place is. Everything in its place. The last time it was this messy, that you knew of, was when Rarity had a big order of dresses to make for the Gala. You remember hearing about her still working on her own dress on the train ride up there thanks to the tight deadline.

"You sure about that?" Scepticism etched deeply into the lines of your face.

"Yes. It's kind of needed. This way I'll still be creating but it's something small, easy, and not... Well."

She gestures to the room around you and you nod. Feeling a sympathetic understanding at being so overworked that you just need to slow the pace on something easy so as not to break the flow but also to get some kind of a break.

"But I'll need you to get a few things from the store from me. Oh, darling, there's that new UltiMart that opened up. I've heard they're cheaper than every pony else. Go there," hastily commands Rarity as she shoves a few bits into your hand.

"There's enough ponnequins here to make a double pentagram," Moonie suddenly utters in a very monotone voice while looking at you with a smile.

Rarity looks practically panicked at Moonie's wide-eyed and unflinching stare. The smile large and stiff to add to the creepy factor the filly is going for.

"Quit it," you reply deadpan.

"I got her though," Moonie mentions before proudly walking out.

"I don't know how you can cope with that sort of thing regularly."

You shrug.

"It's kind of funny at times."

"Ah," Rarity says, as if finally understanding a puzzle that has long since plagued her, "So, she gets it from you."

"I've never done anything creepy like that."

"Yes, but you just said it amuses you so of course she'd still find ways to terrorise the townsfolk."

Her words give you pause as you weigh what she said with your memories. Then as you open your mouth to retort, though unsure of what exactly you would say, Rarity closes the door.

"When did she push me out?"

"Can we buy candy?" states Moonie from beside you, ignoring what you said and events completely.

"No."

"I want sour watermelon," she protests.

"Only if you behave."

Moonie skips with glee as the two of you walk toward UltiMart. You recall the mare who owns the place from when she came in to get permits signed. She wanted a lot of land. But then again she was building a supermarket. Although the name was a little odd but you kind of pushed it aside to think about later once your workload did what it always did. Multiplied.

The doors slide open thanks to two rather bulky stallions at either side.

"Ooo! Sliding door minions? Now that is--"

Moonie stops in an instant. Her face hardens with an intense curiosity as she sniffs the air. You watch her for a moment as she seems to be doing some kind of bloodhound routine then look around. The customers are all Ponyville residents so once people get their usual glance out of the way, they carry on with their day. Moonie's antics being so varied and numerous that you doubt there are many ponies around that aren't used to it. Were this Canterlot or literally anywhere else, you might risk dying of embarrassment. Or a busted gut. Depends on everyone else's reactions usually.

"Huh. They do a bit of everything." You say aloud to nobody in particular.

The store is almost like a warehouse and large signs hang from the roof to indicate what area has what. And it seems that everything from food to hardware tools could be found here. Thankfully, in front of you is a sign with a map and below that are a few little smaller paper maps.

"Party supplies are up by wagon and carriage parts it--What are you doing?" You finally cave in and ask.

Moonie's nose sniffs the ground and few more times as she walks in circles then stops and points off into the distance of a seemingly random direction.

"I smell evil."

"You can bathe tonight then."

"Fool! Not me," booms Moonie.

And something about the cadence in her voice catches your notice. You look off to where she is pointing but don't notice any one or thing that way. So with a hesitant shrug, you turn away and walk toward party supplies.

"Come on."

There's a moment's hesitation in her before she follows and you find this kind of behaviour very strange, even for Moonie. You wander through the tall shelves, fearing the place could have easily turned into a labyrinth were if not for your trusty map. The ordering system seems chaotic and if there is any pattern, you haven't got the faintest clue on what it is. In one long isle you pass by hair product, chairs, and books before turning down to the isle you were looking for.

"Mayor Anonymous?" Calls out a sultry yet unfamiliar voice from behind you.

You spin around with arms full of party supplies to a dark purple mare with dark rings around her dark magenta eyes and a black coat. A dark black trench-coat with a very high collar. It takes you a moment before you remember who she is and where you know her from.

"Moonie this is Mrs Evil McSinisterson, the owner of UltiMart. Mrs Evil McSinisterson this is Moonie, my adoptive child."

Mrs Evil McSinisterson smiles warmly at the two of you while you give her an expectant look. A typical reply you've come to expect when you introduce Moonie like that never comes and you stare down at her. It's normally now that Moonie says, with an overly dramatic tone of shock, something along the lines of, 'What do you mean I'm adopted?' Instead you find Moonie sniffing the air much to Mrs Evil McSinisterson's discomfort.

"I smell the evil on you," Moonie eerily mumbles.

"Nightmare Moon!" you bark in a softened level.

"Nightmare Moon? Oh," Mrs Evil McSinisterson exclaims with suppressed surprise, "What a lovely... Unique child you are."

It's clear that Mrs Evil McSinisterson is trying to be polite about it but is very much on edge. And something about Moonie's stance puts you in mind of a chihuahua that's poised to attack. Just without the endless yapping.

"Is she, um... Always like this?"

The smile on the mare's face seems to be cracking slightly as Moonie takes a single step forward, causing Mrs Evil McSinisterson to back up a little.

"Sorry about this," you force a laugh in hopes to ease the tension Moonie is creating to little or no effect, "She's been with me for so long that I forget how odd she can be. Moonie, stop."

Your authoritative tone seems to break through to Moonie for a moment. She stops and look back toward you, with a raised brow. Her body relaxes but the intensity in her eyes return to burn holes into Mrs Evil McSinisterson. This lapse seems to make Mrs Evil McSinisterson smile for some reason. Her body relaxes too and stretched taller in a more confident pose.

"Everyone in town is pretty much used to her at this point," you add with a chuckle.

Mrs Evil McSinisterson also laughs though her's is lower and has an edge to it.

"Then I'm sure than I'll get used to you in no time. I'm looking forward to being good friends, Miss Moonie."

Moonie's head turns towards you though her eyes continue to start at Mrs Evil McSinisterson.

"That is textbook villain talk."

"Cut it out."

This seems to sour Moonie's mood and she grumbles under her breath while Mrs Evil McSinisterson grins devilishly. And with that odd and foreboding introduction, you quickly pay for everything then leave with Moonie in tow.

The second you're out of the store and the doors are closed, Moonie pipes up.

"She's evil. I mean, come on. 'Mrs Evil McSinisterson'? That is the most obvious villain name ever. She literally has EVIL in it so it's practically a title. There's nothing clever about it either."

"Yeah, I was going to look into after I first met her."

"She could have at least tried an anagram, make us guess." Interrupts Moonie, "The quality of villains is just lazy nowadays."

"Are you really giving me a 'back-in-my-day' type speech?"

"WELL IT WAS! Anyway, more importantly, if you thought she was suspicious when you met her, why didn't you look into it?"

"I was... busy," you reply, feeling slightly ashamed of such an excuse at a time like this.

"How is it that every adult is always busy when they didn't do anything? I was never allowed to use that when I didn't do homework."

"Trust me, you'll understand how when you grow up and get a job."

"Ugh, I don't want one--" Moonie comes to a complete halt, kicking up dust then practically screeches, "WE FORGOT MY SOUR WATERMELON CANDY! GO BACK!"

99 UltiMart: The Vile Evildoing of a Department Store

"She and that ENTIRE store is EVIL," screeches Moonie in your office for what must have been the hundredth time now.

"Moonie, for the last time, she has no history of villainy."

"Everyone starts off somewhere! My first evil act was blotting out the sun and taking over the current governing body."

You roll your eyes and clean your glasses wistfully. Knowing every moment she is here in your office is a moment you're falling behind on your work. The form in front of you, a UR-YY, sits there blankly with what feels like an accusatory glare.

"Yes, well, she hasn't committed any evil so far so there's not a lot I can do about it... Also, you do realise I'm the mayor, right? Not the guard?"

"We have a town guard?"

"Yes," you nod firmly. It's a small one admittedly, but they're there.

"They're not very good," Moonie says plainly, "I didn't even know they exist, let alone noticed them trying to stop any of my antics."

Part of you wants to say how most of her antics these days are far more childish compared to her old days but that'd only upset her. And she'd feel the need to prove to you and herself that she still has it by taking over the candy store or the bakery, something along those lines.

"I have already instructed the guard to investigate Mrs Evil McSinisterson. But without a history, nothing can be done. Because there is a real chance that Mrs Evil McSinisterson isn't even a villain."

"Oh, yeah? You say her full name every time."

"What has that got to do with it?"

"People don't shorten a villain's name. Whatever a villain prefers to go by, even if it's a nickname of their full title, is what everyone calls them. Nobody calls Tirek 'Terry' or Discord isn't called 'Discy' or Chrysalis 'Chrissy'."

While you feel like she went with the worst possible examples, you can't help but feel like there is a glaring exception to this rule right in front of you. You sit there silently for a moment then when Moonie drifts back to reality to make eye contact with you, you grin. Widely. And then it's very clear that she had caught on because she immediately glares at you as if daring you to say it. Before you can state anything however, Moonie cuts you off.

"I'll find out what she is up to."

"While I feel it is my responsibility not only as Mayor but more importantly, your guardian, to encourage this new intention of being a Good Samaritan, I am wondering why?"

"What's a Samaritan?" She asks, cocking her head to the side a little.

"Someone who is helpful."

Moonie immediately dry retches.

"By the night, no. Never ever, EVER, call me that."

She over dramatises the whole thing, as you really should have expected. You sit there for a bit, resting your hand under your chin, to watch her as she carries on in feigned disgust.

"So no newfound sense of altruism?"

She starts up again and you chuckle but interrupt.

"Alright, alright. But really, why then?"

The midnight mare looks up at you, puzzled. Her face doesn't just look like the answer is obvious, but also seems a little wounded. While your heart pangs a little at the incidental insult, you also find yourself a little curious. Whatever the reason seems to have a lot of personal pride tied up in this for her.

"I am the villain plaguing Ponyville," Moonie voice goes monotone at first but then deepens as the builds upon the seriousness.

Her stance looks as if she is about to pounce, her gaze as cold as ice, and fangs flash behind flared lips as a temper you've not seen from her reveals itself.

"She has invaded my territory, failed to pay the proper respects to my sub-contracted overlord, and is trying to inflict evil upon my enslaved subjects. As Queen of the Eternal Night and the void beyond, this will not stand. Not only will I uncover her plans, I will break them utterly. Mark my words, Anonymous the Overlord-Mayor of Ponyville, Mrs Evil McSinisterson shall be brought to ruin."

A fire behind Nightmare Moon's eyes flares the intensity of her stare and her ethereal mane blows rather ominously in an non-existent wind. Passion and pride brought these words forth and not just the subject but the way she delivered them proves beyond doubt that there is little you can do to change her mind. And in an odd conflicting feeling, you find yourself hoping that Mrs Evil McSinisterson is a villain. Otherwise Moonie is about to inflict a fury on some very undeserving.

"This town ain't big enough for the two of you?" You reply coolly as you place the form back in it's place to focus on Moonie.

There is no reply. Instead she just grin her razor sharp fangs and storms out. With a heavy sigh, you grab a blank piece of paper and start making notes on a plan to save Mrs Evil McSinisterson in the event that she isn't a villain.

100 The Conclusion to Mrs Evil McSinisterson

"TRIXIE!"

"Moonie, the Great and Sleepy Trixie doesn't want to," croaks Trixie before rolling over on the couch.

"The Lazy and Useless Trixie more like, it's nine in the morning. GET UP!"

Moonie leaps and kicks her off the couch, literally. Trixie just groans and tries to cover herself with her cape as a blanket once again, making no effort whatsoever to get up from the spot she fell.

"What do you want?"

"To be left alone."

"No, as in, to come with me to Ultimart. What do I have to give you?"

"Trixie wants snacks."

Moonie rolls her eyes, feeling this response to be kind of typical.

"How can you eat all the time and not be fat?"

Now she gets up and begins to look around for anyone who might be listening. Then Trixie leans in and whispers softly.

"I know a spell."

"Oh," Moonie replies, genuinely fascinated, "Teach me that one sometime."

The two share a nod then Moonie begins to walk to the door while Trixie tries to lie back down again.

"TRIXIE! I'll buy you snacks!"

"Since when did you become the element of generosity?"

"Since this morning, when Anon promised me 50 bits if I can prove Mrs Evil McSinisterson is a villain."

Trixie scoffs but smiles.

"Alright, alright. The Tortured but Resigned Trixie is coming."

It feels like always, that you're working. Sure, being the mayor can have kind of sporadic hours and you'll even have to do a couple things at home, but lately it feels like much more work needs to be done. Ponies are always submitting paperwork to request business permits, requests to hold market days, to have festivals, construction or renovation applications, and one particular pink pony is always trying to get permission for a town-wide party. And the worst part is, they often fill it out wrong.

"This is baffling," you almost curse to the open air.

One pony could fill out all the paperwork perfectly, but forgets their name or contact information, another just writes 'I don't know' in the section clearly marked for office use only or scribbles their pen when the ball stops rolling, and there was even one who thought they were VERY funny to write 'yes' in sex. You still have to go through these forms partially, so you can notify those who did it wrong. That is, if they wrote their name in the first place. Half the time, however, it seems like you'll be most of the way done before noticing an error.

"Ah, finally one done properly," you sigh with relief as you place it into the out tray before grabbing another.

"Um, excuse me, Mayor Anonymous?"

You look up to meet the eyes of a pale green unicorn mare with a two tone brown-yellow mane. It takes you a moment before the name springs to mind because you're used to seeing her in her work attire.

"Peachy Pitt?"

Her eyes light up.

"You remember me?"

"Of course," you nod as you gesture for her to take a seat opposite you, "How's business?"

The mare takes a very long breath then gives a weary smile.

"Not great. But, I need to talk to you about that."

With a quick nod, you gesture for her to speak then sit there in silence as she seems to struggle over the words to use.

"It's about... UltiMart."

"Clean up in isle two," echoes the magically enhanced voice of one of the teenage store clerks in a dull, uninterested tone of voice.

"Your turn to push," shrieks Moonie as she leaps into the shopping trolley her and Trixie are using as a getaway vehicle.

Grunting can be heard from Trixie as she builds up the momentum but once the trolley is moving, she grabs hold of the trolley handle and lifts her hind legs up as they ride. The wind whips Moonie's mane and Trixie's cape as the two fly and quite a lot of speed out of isle two, where someone will have to clean up A LOT of soup.

"What next?" asks Trixie as she places her hoof down to slow them down.

As Moonie tries to think of an idea, she glances down the isle they arrived at. Isle 13, paint and paint supplies. Moonie grins devilishly as she makes eye contact with Trixie. Unsure what is making her so happy, Trixie raises a brow until Moonie gestures to the isle. Then she catches on too.

"THERE THEY ARE," Mrs Evil McSinisterson practically screams.

Two very large stallions, clearly working as security, begin barrelling down toward them. Their great muscular is intimidating to the point where Moonie isn't sure if they actually are as tall as alicorns. All she does know, is that they need to leave. Now. Thankfully, Trixie gets the same idea.

"Hold on," Trixie shouts as she starts pushing the trolley with a speed far more rapid than before.

"DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE THIS TIME!" Mrs Evil McSinisterson's distant voice can be heard as the two trouble makers speed further and further away.

The security guards give a good chase for a few minutes but it's clear that Trixie is able to push the trolley up to a speed they can't match. And because Trixie and Moonie can glide away, they won't get tired before they do. So it doesn't come as a surprise to either of them when they notice off in the distance, the two security guards in their own trolley. Their speed is definitely faster than Moonie and Trixie's now as they slowly gain on them.

"We'll have to resort to other means if we want to get away," Moonie shouts above the rush of air.

"Like what?"

"Take us back to isle nine then we go to two."

"But two is--"

"Just do it!"

Meanwhile, as the four ponies and their trolleys race around, regular shoppers at UltiMart that heard the warning leap out of the way and shout various unintelligible things in the distance as they race past them. As Trixie pushes the cart up near a towering stack of toys, she hits the brakes and hides behind it and listens. Once the huffing and puffing of the security guard pushing his trolley can be heard from the other side of the boxes, Trixie starts to run again.

"HEY! They went past us! Quick! Turn around!" bellows Security Guard #1.

"How does she have so much energy," complains Security Guard #2.

"It's all the junk she eats stored up in her big flank," Moonie cackles as they race off while they sluggishly turn around before trying to catch up.

"MOONIE!"

"What? I'm not wrong."

Trixie grunts in frustration as she tries to keep building speed as they fly past isle eleven then ten.

"NINE! NINE!" Moonie shouts urgently.

"I KNOW!"

As they fast approach isle nine, Trixie stomps a hoof onto the left wheel, the rest of the wheels spin and whip the trolley around in a rapid 90° turn before scampering up to speed. As they continue onward, Moonie snatches a few things off the shelf while muttering about the complete lack of any real order in this store. Then once they reach the end, Trixie whips the trolley around just in time for them to be able to look down and see the arrival of the security guards on the other end.

Security guard #1 & #2 have switched places now and Security Guard #1 scrapes a hoof along the floor a few times to signal his eagerness to charge. Moonie pokes her tongue out as Trixie starts running while the guards start their VERY rapid charge.

"Let them catch up a bit before we go down isle two, alright?" Moonie shouts as she starts tying things up in the cart.

"Are you sure about this?" asks Trixie, uneasiness very clear in her voice.

"It'll be fun. Just make sure to build up speed so you can hold on before we hit the soup, okay?"

Trixie just nods as she puts her head down and puts all the energy she can muster into her legs. And she does just as instructed once they hit isle two. Before them lies a great river of various kinds of soup. Tomato, pumpkin, chicken noodle, pastas like ravioli, and chunky stews are mixed in this great puddle. It also kind of smells bad. The troublesome duo might have felt bad for the teenage store clerk who was trying to mop it up if it weren't for the fact that he was working for the enemy, Moonie was having far too much fun, and Trixie was far too anxious about whatever Moonie was planning.

Trixie builds the trolley's speed up. Faster and faster they go. Behind them, Security Guard #1 and Security Guard #2 are gaining at their own rapid pace. Then just as they're about to hit the soup, Moonie throws a makeshift ramp just as Trixie clutches onto the trolley.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Shrieks Moonie with an intense child-like glee.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Screeches Trixie with an equally intense fear as they gain an incredible altitude.

They sail up into the air almost as high as they shelves and that's when Moonie pulls on a rope she was holding. Trixie tries to look at what it is connected to but whatever it is, is below her, so she instead clutches even more tightly and closes her eyes. The ramp flies up into the air now as Moonie tugs on the rope. The security guards tailing them don't notice quick enough and aren't able to apply enough break so they hit the soup and topple over. Spraying the mixture of soup all over themselves, the trolley, and the teenage store clerk.

Now begins Moonie and Trixie's descent. Moonie looks ahead to notice a large stack of water containers up ahead and tries to shout to Trixie. To warn her that she needs to hit the breaks as soon as they hit the floor. Only, Trixie can't hear because her own shouting is far too loud. When they hit the floor and Trixie only tightens her grip, so nothing slows them as they are sent flying full speed into the stack. Bottles tumble on top of them and Moonie has to fight to make sure she isn't buried under them. But once she breaks the surface and meets the air, Trixie shoots up beside her.

"THAT WAS GREAT," Moonie cheers.

In between heaving gasps for air, Trixie asks, "My flank isn't that big."

"Oh, yes. Yes it is," Mrs Evil McSinisterson cackles.

"HEY! I'm the only one who can cackle in this town!"

And that's when Moonie notices they are surrounded by security guards #3 through to #20. Also, they all look identical save for the numbers on their badges.

"You didn't really think I had just two guards, did you? GET THEM!" squawks Mrs Evil McSinisterson.

"You are BANNED from UltiMart for LIFE!" Mrs Evil McSinisterson bellows before breaking into a maniacal laugh.

Moonie is bodily thrown out of the store and into the street where a few ponies begin to stare. Already Moonie is grumbling about the indignity of not only being thrown out but being the only one caught. Trixie disappeared at some point but not a single pony noticed that but her. But then again, their focus was probably all on her because of the threat she poses to UltiMart. And with that, Moonie feels able to shrug off the blow to her pride.

"This isn't over," Mumbles Moonie as she turns to face Security Guard #16 who was left to watch the door.

With a simple grin from Moonie, he straightens himself up so his already towering physique looms even more over the filly. Then Moonie darts off to the side of the building where she left Anon's ladder.

"Fools, the lot of them," Moonie tells herself as she climbs up to the roof and lets herself down the air vent.

"I see," you say with a heavy sigh.

"I'm guessing that means you can't help?"

"Honestly... Yes. There isn't much I can do about that. I'm sorry about what this means for your business and--"

"Nothing at all?" Peachy Pitt pleads.

She is now leaning forward, her forehooves on your desk and her face centimetres from yours. Her large eyes bore into yours as if challenging you to falter because behind those eyes is nothing but desperate begging.

"I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do," you reply, putting careful emphasis on 'I'.

"Do you... Know somepony who can?"

"Oh, yes. I know quite a few who can fix this."

"Who?"

"One is already on it."

"WHO?!"

"You're not going to like it if I tell you."

She gives you a quizzical look and is about to angrily push the question more when someone deliberately clears their throat to get your attention. Standing in the doorway are two very large stallions, covered in soup. Though what kind is impossible to tell.

Internally, Moonie hums a tune. Something slow in pace but sudden. Really giving a soundtrack to build the atmosphere over sneaking around in Mrs Evil McSinisterson's office. Immediately, Moonie looks for clues. Flicking through the papers on her desk, the drawers, and rifling into a few papers in a nearby filing cabinet. She wasn't able to find anything in that moment because hoof steps and someone swearing behind gritted teeth could be heard behind the door.

Looking around there didn't seem to be many hiding place, save for maybe under the desk or behind the whiteboard but those kinds of spots are cliched and easy to get found in. So in a blind panic, Moonie darts behind the nearby potted pant where she sits as quietly as she can and hopes.

"That--Nightmare Moon! ARGH! What I would give to just..." Mrs Evil McSinisterson's voice trails off as she falls into her desk chair.

"Just what, ma'am?" asks what sounds like one of the security guards.

"Oh, I don't know. She's just causing far too much trouble. If she weren't the mayor's daughter or some rubbish like that I'd have done something about her. Ponies from a thousand years ago must have been scaredy-cats if that little tike scared them."

Behind the fern, Moonie had to force herself not to grind her teeth in anger because she was worried about the noise. But she was absolutely fuming. In fact, she was a little surprised neither of them noticed the steam rising up from her.

"But, this will all be worth it," Mrs Evil McSinisterson sighs contentedly, "Soon enough."

The door opens up and a third voice can be heard.

"Boss, the mayor is here."

Moonie's ears prick up at this. "What could Anon be doing here?" She thinks to herself. The two guards salute Anonymous as he approaches and the mayor gives them a thinly veiled reproachful glare. Neither guard is fased by this it seems.

"Mayor Anonymous, thank you so much for seeing me."

You look around the room and see things are all in order in here at least. One of the soup covered guards filled you in on Moonie's antics... Well, destruction of private property and vandalism is more like it.

"It's the least I could do, considering."

"Look, I'll get to the point. I know you're busy and clearly frustrated about today almost as much as I am."

You nod. Not liking Mrs Evil McSinisterson's calm tone. Any and all attempts to sound angry or annoyed seem forced. You've seen better acting from Moonie. Whatever is going on, Mrs Evil McSinisterson isn't able to keep the joy hidden.

"If you keep Nightmare Moon a--"

"Moonie," you correct her sternly.

Unknown to you, Moonie very nearly replied to you. The authority in your voice almost kicking in a reflexive response despite herself.

"I'm sorry?" Mrs Evil McSinisterson asks, visibly confused.

"Nobody around her calls her Nightmare Moon. Deliberately. She isn't Nightmare Moon." You say, knowing full well that you call her Nightmare Moon when she's being bratty, in trouble, or as part of the 'queen' bit she likes to do from time to time.

And you're not entirely sure why you corrected her either. Something in the way she said it, almost as if she was biting the words, rubbed you the wrong way.

"Right. Right... Moonie?"

You nod.

"Very well. If you keep Moonie away from me, my store, and employees for good then I won't press charges. Of course, you are still welcome. But after today, she and her sister are both banned."

Moonie bristles from behind the plant once again. Sister? How many indignities must she suffer today?

"Thank you," you answer, trying to humble yourself a little.

Because you're sure that everything Moonie did wasn't exaggerated by the security stallions who were complaining to you along the way here. You also can't help but be a little angry. If she wanted to prove Mrs Evil McSinisterson was evil, then why pull pranks?

"Well, then, take her with you when you go, please."

Moonie lets out a high pitched yelp when you push aside the fern leaves Mrs Evil McSinisterson was pointing to. The mastermind behind today's trouble looking very nearly bashful there. Though, more likely, just sorry she got caught.

"Not a word," you tell her before scooping her up under an arm and walking hastily to the exit.

She does as she is told. Moonie sits quietly the whole time, even when you place her on the ground outside. You're about to dive right into your lecture when you notice Trixie's head whizz around the corner.

"Stay," you command Moonie before bolting after the escaping mare.

"Trixie!" You very nearly bark, causing Trixie to come to a skidding halt.

"IT WASN'T TRIXIE'S FAULT!"

"Explain."

"Trixie thought this was all part of Moonie's plan somehow. Like, 'Part 1: Get Under Mrs Evil McSinisterson's Skin.' You know what Moonie is like, it got all a bit out of hoof."

"Yesterday, when I asked you to help Moonie with Mrs Evil McSinisterson, I didn't mean help her vandalise and cause as much mischief as possible."

"Yes, yes. Trixie knows... The regretful and apologetic Trixie got... Swept up in things."

You stand there, sternly glaring at Trixie as she hangs her head lower. Her eyes dart up from time to time before faltering again each time she meets your gaze.

"That's no excuse, I know," Trixie adds solemnly. It stuns you briefly when she drops the third person but you recover before she notices, "It was pretty clear after the first few pranks that Moonie was running amok, but I didn't care. If you're going to be mad at any pony, be mad at me."

"I'm not mad."

Trixie looks up in shock, "What?"

"Okay, I am mad. Quite a lot actually. But more than anything I'm really, really frustrated at you two."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you really do."

There's a long pause as Trixie waits for you to explain. And you try to. You want to. But the words struggle to escape your lips, your mouth just flaps about a few times. Internally, you try metaphorically kicking your brain as if it were some old motor that refused to start.

"I really thought... I hoped today was going to be... I was really proud that you and Moonie were going to save the day but instead... You've just kicked my legs out from under me by doing this."

Your hands bury your face as you let out an agitated groan then run your fingers over your head. Trixie looks away, deliberately staring at the wall.

"What am I supposed to do with you two?"

The most Trixie can manage is a half-hearted smile and a shrug.

"I'm not giving you what we agreed, and whatever you tricked Moonie into giving you, you'll give back."

"I figured as much on that first part. But she bought me snacks... Which I ate already."

"You know... I'll tell you later actually. I need to have a word with Moonie now."

Trixie mumbles something to you but it was far too quiet, and you don't feel like stopping to ask.

Meanwhile as, you, Anon were off lecturing Trixie, Moonie sat before the store. Exactly where she was told to sit. While she is a little annoyed at being commanded like some disobedient puppy, the sense of failure is greater. Though, she does take a bit of pleasure in seeing Anon chase off that traitor, Trixie.

"If you ever, EVER," Mrs Evil McSinisterson rumbles behind gritted teeth, "Get in my way again, I shall make you suffer."

Moonie just stares at her flatly, her expression as unchanged as stone, and watches as McSinisterson's anger erodes slightly. Her eyes examine every inch of Moonie's deadpan expression in a slightly bewildered glower as she tries to figure something out.

"There isn't enough room in this town for two villains."

Mrs Evil McSinisterson laughs loudly, throwing her head back before returning a toothy grin toward Moonie.

"You still think of yourself as a villain? When was the last time you carried out a plan to take over Equestria, let alone this town?"

Moonie scoffs, "You think villainy is about how often you commit evil? I had no idea I had to deal with an amateur."

"AMATEUR?! YOU DARE?!"

"Have you never heard of the long con? When I am ruler once again, they will welcome it."

And something in those words tickled Mrs Evil McSinisterson the wrong, or perhaps right, way because she grinned so widely she almost ran out of face.

"We shall see," she replied coolly before stepping inside.

Her timing was probably deliberate for the dramatic effect. All villains seem to have a knack for it. Because just as she left, Anon returned. Trixie, however, was not in tow.

"Couldn't catch her?"

"No, I got her," you reply as you tower over Moonie, "Now it's time I had a talk with you."

Your tone was cool, calm, and collected. Which seemed to worry Moonie. The two of you walked away from UltiMart in silence for some time. While Moonie was waiting for you to start scolding or lecturing, you were unsure how to start.

After Trixie it felt as of the spring of anger just lost its tension. You never adopted her, so scolding her like she was a child like Moonie was odd but she just seemed to take it. And now you fond yourself at new odds when it came to Moonie. When you set her to a task, you could expect mischief but it got done. Or rather, you would expect mischief. And even if she didn't get it done, there was always a real attempt. This time though? She just ran amok and was just a detriment.

"Well?" She rudely says in more of an impetuous demand than any kind of request.

"Forget it, Moonie."

"Forget what?"

"Trying to figure out of Mrs Evil McSinisterson is up to something or not."

"What? No, you promised to pay me if I caught her out."

You hand her a few coins. It's only a part of what you would have paid her but considering what she did she is lucky to get even a portion. Part of you worries this is rewarding bad behaviour but this rising weariness in your chest wants the day to be over.

"Hang on--"

"Her father," you interrupt, "Was the one who came up with the name back when he was a villain. Tried to work out a chemical to put in food to make ponies docile and subservient. So there goes your name theory. Either way, I will sort this out."

"What about me? I can help," she stammers while staring at the ground.

"Go buy some sweets or something, Moonie. If this is how you're going to behave, then it's best I do it myself."

"You dare insult me, your queen?" Moonie tried to bellow but her words lost their steam the second she started speaking

Neither of you say a word for a few seconds until you decide it best to say one last thing. To let how you feel off your chest.

"I'm disappointed."

And that was the final blow, it looked. Moonie's head dropped as she stared at the ground. No words escaped her lips, no stamping of her hooves, or any kind of rebellion could be found in her. You stood there for a while to see if she had anything to say. But she didn't.

"I need to get back to work. Make sure you're home for dinner."

Moonie simply nodded. Already you regretted your words. You weren't sure if you went too far because she definitely did, but you've never seen her so... Resigned. You hesitate for a moment then decide it best to go.

Moonie arrived at Bon-Bon's candy store. It brightened her mood, though only slightly, to see there was a massive candy sale.

"Ordered too much stock?" Moonie asks behind a mouth full of gobstopper candy.

"Not quite," wistfully replied Bon-Bon as she counted the coins dropped onto the counter, "Five bits? So, how much are we spending today?"

"All of it."

"I doubt Anon will be too happy if you do that."

"Yeah? Well, I doubt I could make him any more unhappy."

"So the investigation went that badly then?"

"You knew about that?"

"Anon told me about it. He was pretty proud of you, you know."

"Oh, dont tell me that kind of thing," groaned Moonie as her head dropped onto the counter with a resounding 'thud!'

"What happened?"

"Like everything I do. I screwed it up."

"Ah... And so, you've come to drown your sorrow in candy?"

"I'm not sad... But, yes."

"Well, I'm not sure what to tell you really. There's no new candy but plenty of old favourites."

"I took three gobstoppers by the way, see."

Moonie lifted her head and opened her mouth to reveal three gobstopper candies.

"I really didn't need that. Has Anon still not taught you manners?"

"Yeah, ages ago. He got me with a good one on that. Said, 'you can't break etiquette if you don't know what it is' so now I know what all thirty-five forks are for just so I know exactly how to upset people when we go to Canterlot or the Gilded Giraffe here."

"Hah. He's a sly one, Anonymous. I can definitely see that getting you."

Moonie just moped on the counter, not really responding in any way.

"You know, if you get seven more gobstoppers then you'll still have four bits."

"Ten for a bit?"

Bon-Bon shrugged.

"That's what I have to sell them at to break even."

"Break even?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to at least not lose money before I sell the place."

"WHAT?! SELL?!"

Bon-Bon nodded, "Yeah, I can't really compete with UltiMart's prices so... I figure it would be best to pack up shop now before I hit the red."

"But that's not fair!"

"That's just how it is sometimes. I'm not the only one either, just about every shop is having it tough thanks to Ulti--" Moonie interrupts her by leaping up from her seat and bolting out the door, "Hey! Your money."

"Keep it! And don't close up!"

As the filly sprints into the distance, Bon-Bon smiles to herself.

You eye the clock as it ticks away. The longer you watch it, the more your sense of time seems distorted. Each tick seems both longer and shorter than the last as the hour approaches further into the night.

"Where is she?" You ask the world as you try to keep any edge of nerves out of your voice.

Eventually panic gets the better of you and you decide the best way to calm it down is to go looking for Moonie. There's any number of places she could be but after visiting the most likely, you'll see about getting help. A malicious little voice somehow creeps forth from the back of your mind to ask a simple question. "You don't think she ran into the Everfree, do you?"

"She wouldn't."

It wouldn't be the first time she has ran off into the Everfree. But she never goes in there alone, and it's always to play during the day. It's dangerous in there and going in alone at night is one of the stupidest things anyone can do. Once the door is locked, you begin to walk down the steps when Trixie calls out to you.

"Trixie, have you seen Moonie?"

"She's at UltiMart."

You glare at her.

"Hang on, this wasn't Trixie's fault. Beside, she said she has undeniable proof now."

"What?"

"Yes, Trixie was a bit amazed too. Moonie asked me to gather a few people before she proved it to everypony what a stinking villain Mrs Evil McSinisterson is."

"Uh, well then... Let's go."

And you follow Trixie's lead as she tells Bon-Bon and Applejack along the way. The four of you head into UltiMart then where the entire store is deserted. The typical supermarket store, that despite playing slow going songs all the time made you feel somehow anxious, is off. An eerie almost ambient silence fills the store. A gentle hum of refrigerators off the in the distance, the motors of the checkout treadmills rumble, and there's a muffled chattering coming from the office.

"Anon! Trixie! Bon-Bon! Applebloom's sister! In here," Shouts Moonie as she pokes her head out the office door.

"Heh, thanks," sarcastically grumbles AJ behind you.

In the office beams Moonie, Mrs Evil McSinisterson is sitting in her chair scowling, and a few shop owners from around town. Peachy Pitt is among them, who gives you an amused but unimpressed look as if to say, "So THIS is who you had on it, ay?"

"Are we quite satisfied?" Snarls Mrs Evil McSinisterson.

"Yup," Moonie beams even brighter than before.

As you find yourself wondering how Moonie managed to convince Mrs Evil McSinisterson to not only let her back into the store but also to hold this little meeting, and empty the store, Moonie somehow reads your mind and states.

"Anon, I made a deal with Mrs Evil McSinisterson. If I can't prove she is up to something, then we have to leave town."

"Not a chance in--"

"Told you he wouldn't go for that one," interrupts Moonie amicably.

"FINE! But I'll get your enchanted armour," Mrs Evil McSinisterson grins greedily.

Just as you turn to Mrs Evil McSinisterson to ask what she is on about, you notice in the corner of your eye a sneaky wink from Moonie. And now you've clued into the score a little bit. Because the only armour Moonie has, is a replica costume of her former tyrant self. It's not even made from metal or enchanted, just fiberglass to reinforce cardboard and a bit of paper mache.

"I don't approve of that arrangement," you state carefully.

"But it is MY armour, and I am free to do with it as I please," Moonie adds triumphantly.

Then Applejack says, "Anon, does she really have her old armour?"

"I'll, um, explain later. I promise."

Applejack, and a few other business owners, eye you with the most disapproving stares you've ever been subject to. A part of you kind of wishes you could shrink and skulk away somehow.

"Now then, I have brought you all here because the murderer is in this very room," ominously declares Moonie.

"Enough with the games! Get on with it," breathes Mrs Evil McSinisterson from behind gritted teeth.

"You want just the quick way?"

"YES!" Mrs Evil McSinisterson shrieks.

"Oh, very well," announces Moonie in a feigned sad tone, "I had a whole bit planned out but this will have to do."

And with that, Moonie kicks the whiteboard, causing it to spin once.

"Really? Having an entire evil plan written out in plain view? Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in myself for thinking you were a villain. You're barely worth calling a wretch."

Mrs Evil McSinisterson shrieks and throws the whiteboard eraser sitting at her desk at the whiteboard in some failed attempt to mask the reveal. Instead the top now reads 'EVIL P AN'

You find yourself laughing aloud as you read the whiteboard.

Step One: Create UltiMart

Step Two: Test Daddy's Mind Control Syrup on the Employee Lunches

Step Three: Undercut Everyone. Even if it has to be at no profit or a loss.

Step Four: Buy Out Everyone

Step Five: Put The Syrip in the Food, Water, and even the Laundry Powder.

Step Six: Rule Ponyville

Step Seven: Build the UltiMart Franchise

Step Eight: RULE THE WORLD

Mrs Evil McSinisterson begins to stammer as she scurries out from behind her desk to stand in from of the whiteboard.

"None of that--It's not evil, j-just aggressive business."

It was all pretty simple after that. Mrs Evil McSinisterson was dragged off to jail, you had a word to each of the business owners who were still very worried about enchanted armour, and then it was just a walk home with Moonie.

"You know, you had me worried when you didn't come home... How did you do it?"

"Well... I just broke into her office again." Moonie shrugs and laughs.

Her laugh quickly turns into a cackle, such is Moonie's way, but you join in with a genuinely joyful laugh.

"Now, about my reward."

"What? You want a parade?" You chuckle.

Moonie's face lights up briefly before a realisation dawns on her.

"It'd be as a hero, wouldn't it?"

You nod.

"Ugh. No thanks, I have got a reputation to protect."

The two of you laugh again as you continue to walk down the street as the cold night air whips around you. The stars and the moon glitter above with some of the brightest lights you've ever seen at night.

"I will admit... I was expecting it to be a little different."

"How so?"

Moonie shrugs, "Thought you'd get the elements of harmony for one thing."

"Nah. I have no idea how that magic works and I'd rather not go bothering six different ponies when a prison cell will do the trick."

"If I had the elements of terror, I could have zapped her myself," Moonie excitedly states as she strikes a dastardly pose.

"Elements? As in, more than one? I thought the only terror around was you, my Queen."

"HA! You've got that right."

And Moonie's step gets a little lighter, almost a skip, as her chest swells.

"Hang on. Moonie. Wait."

She stops and looks up at you as you squat down to her level. You hold out the bag of bits, her promised reward.

"Minus what I already gave you, of course but..."

You can't say much more as Moonie snatches it and stares into the golden contents within with amazement.

"I've never seen so much," she says, mystified.

"Also," you wait before clearing your throat to grab her attention, "I want to say... I'm proud of you."

Then you snatch Moonie up into the tightest hug. You have no idea how she's reacting, cause you know she isn't the hugging type, but the swell of emotion was too much for you. You need to hug her, to physically show her that you are a little sorry for what you said and more than anything right now, you are happy about what she did. A tremble can be felt in your arms and you loosen your grip before you feel tiny little hooves wrap around you in a returning embrace.

Moonie has long since gone to bed as you lie sprawl on the couch. The book you were reading lay open but down on your chest as you replay the day's events over and over. Mainly the good bits. Then you hear hoof steps as Trixie enters the room.

"Trixie feels like she can be a little bit cheeky, as Moonie did technically solve the Mrs Evil McSinisterson problem."

In her magical grip floats two bottles, one of which is hovered your way as she takes a sip of hers. You sit up, place a bookmark before setting the book aside, and take the proffered bottle.

"Without your help, however."

Trixie pouts to which you laugh.

"Alright, you're lucky I'm in a good mood."

Trixie silently squees as she leaps into the chair to listen intently.

"Don't get so excited. It's not that great of a story."

"Trixie has been anticipating this story for a long time. Now, tell Trixie, how did you and Moonie meet?"

Author's Note

So, chapter 100? Does time fly. It seems like only thirty-five months ago that we hit chapter 50.

Thank you all for reading. I'm glad so many enjoy these little fics.
One day I'll learn how to write more often.

101 In The Beginning

It's a cold night where the air bites at the inside of your throat every time you try to breathe, but you find it refreshing in a way. The night air swirling around you as you look to the stars alone on one of Canterlot Castle's many balconies. The place feels serene, as if the space were yours. A feeling you've felt a need for lately. You inhale deeply as your body releases some of the tension you've been holding, as if the muscles could unwind, until there is a step behind you.

"Princess Luna, that you?" You ask, not even turning around to look.

Some nights the Princess does join you out on the balcony to talk. It's never anything special or about something in particular, just idle chit-chat to while away the time.

"What are you?" Asks what is distinctly a small inquisitive voice.

You turn around to see a filly whose coat is so dark it nearly disappears into the shadows and an ethereal mane much like Princess Luna's floats about with stars glittering and glimmering in them. It almost seems like the stars trapped within her mane should light up her face, especially as they flicker, but they don't. The razor sharp teeth she bares at you however, do. Your body stiffens but you don't move. You hesitate, unsure of what to expect.

"Are you a monster?" The filly exclaims with obvious excitement and glee.

And then you notice the baring of fang is actually more of a smile. Her eyes widen and she looks ready to skip with joy. A part of your brain mocks you for worrying about a filly while another asks why are her teeth so shark-like.

"I'm a human... My name is Anonymous."

The smile falters a little. Part of you feels bad for disappointing her somehow, even if you can't help it. Though you are quickly feeling a little perplexed by the suddenness of this scene.

"Anonymous? Really?"

"What's wrong with it?" You reply, taken aback.

"Well... it's not really a name is it."

"Actually, it is. It's my name."

"Yes, but it's not a real name."

You point to yourself, "My name IS Anonymous, so that makes it a real name."

The filly seems to give this some thought before reaching a conclusion of some kind, signalling with a nod to herself.

"Very well. If you swear eternal fealty to me, as your Queen, under pain of death should you fail me in the slightest way then I shall reward you with a true name."

You half scoff and half laugh in disbelief.

"What's your name then?"

"Ah, even if you are a peasant, where are my manners. A servant must know to whom they serve. I am Nightmare Moon."

The child strikes what would be a regal, intimidating, and daring pose were she not knee high to a grasshopper. Evidently she thinks highly of herself. Internally you decide that you were going to let the whole thing about your name go, she's a child after all, until the bit about being a peasant.

"And, to make sure I have this right, you think Nightmare Moon is a real name?"

Her eyes immediately snap to yours with a glare that could melt ice with it's ferocity. So you smile back, knowing full well that you're feeling a sense of pride over one-upping a child. Yet not an ounce of shame could be found within you over that fact. A few seconds pass and Nightmare Moon smiles back though it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Anyway, it's late, so where are your folks?" You say to steer the conversation away from names.

"I don't have any parents," she instantly replies in such a matter of fact way.

Her tone suggests there's no real nerve to touch there. That just is how it is for her. A dry and realist reply. Yet it doesn't stop you feeling bad for her.

"Then who is looking after you?"

Nightmare Moon smiles widely, wickedly, and vindictively, "Well, that would be, I suppose... Celestia and little Luna both."

Something about the tone in her voice gives you goosebumps. Or perhaps it was a chill breeze. You do your best not to show that and instead look her over one more time. She does look quite similar to Luna and it has you wondering if there is a relation. Starry mane and those blue eyes. Even her cutie mark looks practically identical.

"Wouldn't they be looking for you then?"

"I doubt it," the filly confidently states, "I was just going to get snacks. Want to come?"

"Uh, sure," You reply after a brief pause before gesturing down the hall to the kitchen.

"That was all?" Trixie exclaims.

"Well, yeah. What were you expecting?"

"Something BIG!"

You shrug, "Big grand tales don't really happen to me."

"Even so, she is Nightmare Moon! A villain who held Equestria in her fangs for years with such ferocity she became a bogey-man for the millennia to follow. Trixie was expecting a story filled with action, drama, and suspense. Romance would probably be pushing it. Trixie understands."

Trixie slyly gestures to you and you stoically brush the slight aside.

"I never knew about any of that at the time so this story is about as plain as any other story with Moonie and I. A slice of life, really."

"How could you not know?" Trixie says, mouth agape.

"It all happened before I arrived," you shrug, "The princesses never actually told me about her either... I believe Moonie did but I assumed it was part of a child's game she was playing."

In saying that, you would have liked it too if it were some glandulous epic or some heart-tugging saga. Trixie slumps back into her seat, dejected.

"Carry on," she waves.

"You sure?"

"Trixie has waited this long, Trixie shall have to deal with the disappointment."

"Well, we were in Canterlot Kitchen," you continue while hiding the fact that you're feeling pretty insulted by now, "When I took a snack--"

"Hor dere yu--" Nightmare Moon muffles back through a chocolate bar wedged almost horizontally.

"What?"

"I wan-ed hat."

"Swallow that before you talk."

She tries to chew, though seems to be struggling quite a lot with what looks like a mix between chocolate, toffee, and caramel. Her mouth gapes widely between each chomp & chew. Her mouth smacks each time so it quickly gets on your nerves.

"With your mouth closed," you sternly add.

"Yew da--"

"Stop, no," you press, feeling a little like you're admonishing a puppy of some kind now.

Nightmare Moon does so. A few seconds go by as she struggles further before she gets the candy down.

"You've got guts, Anonymous."

You shoot her a perplexed look and would have asked but are startled by some hasty hooves stamping towards the kitchen. Turning to the entrance, you noticed a very wide eyed and stressed Princess Luna scanning the room with a scowl, her gaze never quite meeting you.

"Anonymous, have you seen--THERE!" Practically screeches the panicked Princess Luna.

You flinch then look down at the filly Nightmare Moon that the Princess is glaring down. A tense stand off begins between the two as they stare one another down. You, feeling caught in between and confused, decide to stay quiet. Besides, any words you might have said were caught in your throat once you took a closer look at how sweaty and panicky the usually regal and dignified Princess Luna is right now.

Nightmare Moon lowers her stance as if poised to pounce before Princess Luna's horn lights up and the two are gone. In an instant. Leaving you alone once again, only this time surrounded by snacks and wrappers to clean up.

The following morning you get out of bed and begin the usual morning routine followed by some aimless wandering. It's not until lunch time that you really have anything to do. While you would like to talk to either Princess, you haven't been able to find Princess Celestia when she isn't busy and Princess Luna is nowhere to be seen.

Then the hour arrives and just as you are about to leave to go to Donut Joe's you see a familiar face. Up ahead, Pinkie Pie who you are supposed to be meeting, is walking alongside her friends with a look of purpose. You step aside to let them through as Pinkie mouths a, "I'm sorry," to you as she passes alongside. Assuming this means your plans with her were cancelled, or at least pushed back, you play the sleuth. Because as far as you knew, Pinkie was coming alone to meet you. Not sending a heads up means something important is going down.

You follow at a long distance behind the group. Following them turns out to be easy too. They don't have a guard escort and not one looks back until they are all inside the throne room. Deciding it best to wait a few minutes before approaching the door to listen in.

"We're still not entirely sure how the elements did this to her," Princess Celestia's authoritative voice echoes, "but what matters most, is deciding what to do going forward."

"We and we have been talking," Princess Luna's voice takes over before pausing. Sounding hesitant.

"Yes, and we think the final decision should be--"

"Did the elements get you too?" A filly's voice asks from behind you, causing your heart to nearly leap into your throat.

You spin around suddenly, feeling pretty angry, and glare.

"What are you doing here?" You hiss.

"Same thing as you, I imagine," she replies, her haughty character from last night seemingly gone replaced with that of a concerned child.

Instead Nightmare Moon seems melancholic or perhaps anxious. You examine her face to try an understand. Though reading a pony's face always leaves you a little confused. Nightmare Moon looks back at you and seems to read something wrong too.

"Relax, the guards have no idea or they'd be storming the castle in search."

Then she slips under your legs to press her ear to the door. Internally you shrug before joining.

"I see, Pinkie. We shall have to... Consider that."

"In the mean time, we would like you to give us your opinion on the matter once you've spent some time with her."

"You didn't answer my question," Nightmare Moon whispers up at you.

"What?"

"Did they beat you too? I only assume because you look like a monster of some kind and they've got you stuck here like me."

"Beat me? What are you talking about?"

"Ah, so still in denial about it then. Typical of the peasantry type villain."

"Vill--Oh," catching onto the child's make-believe, "Well, you know how it is... I nearly destroyed all of Canterlot and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling ponies and that damn dragon! Shush, I can't hear."

Nightmare Moon looks up at you with awe before snapping her attention back at the door, "Oh, right!"

"We will. Princess Celestia. Princess Luna," One of Pinkie's friends replies.

"Yeah, you have our word," drawls another.

And then hoofsteps can be heard approaching the door.

"Damn. Looks like I'm too late. Scatter," Nightmare Moon whispers harshly before darting off in one direction.

Not wasting a moment, you dart off in the opposite one.

"Oh, Trixie sees what you are doing now!"

"And what is that?" You ask, annoyed at being interrupted for the second time.

"You are trying to build suspense because I complained earlier."

"This did actually happen you know."

"Perhaps, but you could just tell Trixie what the Princesses were discussing with Twilight and her gang. Instead you are building tension."

"Would you rather I just tell you then?"

"No-no! This is what Trixie wanted. One moment."

You let out an exaggerated sigh which either goes over Trixie's head or, which is more likely, is ignored. The mare happily trots into the kitchen for a few minutes to get herself a snack, then returns to her spot. She signals to you to carry on as she shoves a mouthful of food into her gob.

Once you are far enough away, you begin to idly wander about and think on what you heard. Admittedly, it wasn't much. But you have a feeling it involves that Nightmare Moon. Though you have no real idea what is going on or any idea if it's a good idea for you to snoop around, you also have nothing to do with your time.

A pink blur fills your visual along with a sudden high-pitched squeal.

"IWasLookingForYouAnon! I'mSorryIDidn'tTellYouIHadToCancelOurPlans!"

"It's alright Pinkie," you hastily exclaim while trying to pry her vice-like grip from around your body, "Need air."

She quickly lets go and gives a warm yet sheepish smile. You cough for added effect before picking yourself up and dusting off.

"I am curious what's going on though."

Pinkie Pie hesitates, "Weeeeell, I'm not so sure I'm allowed to tell you... Buuuuuut... It involves Nightmare Moon."

"What about her," you ask while gesturing for Pinkie to walk and talk.

The two of you walk side by side, the towering white marble walls lead you down endless corridors in peace.

"We need to see if she's evil."

"The kid?"

"I don't really understand it much either, especially the filly bit but nobody gets that part. But what I can explain is... Nightmare Moon is an immortal evil tyrant. Well, was one."

"You're in on her game too?"

Pinkie Pie gives you a look before seeming to come to an understanding.

"A lot of stuff has happened between Nightmare Moon before you arrived... But we do need to work out if the filly is evil."

And then you come to an understanding yourself, it's likely the filly is just Nightmare Moon Jr. and this is just a case of are the sins of the mother also the sins of the daughter. Which is a lot of pressure to put on a kid. You try to overlay the image of the evil tyrant and the mischievous filly over one another and it doesn't fit.

"Well, if it helps, I haven't seen her do anything evil... She's a kid after all."

"That does help actually. OH! And I bet it's cause of the Elements of Harmony, yes."

You give her a confused look.

"Magical necklaces that use the power of friendship to fix things."

"Right," you say.

"Pinkie, there you are. We were looking all over for you."

The two of you turn around to see a white mare with a purple mane stomping up the hallway toward you.

"Rarity, you remember Anon?"

"Of course, Darling, how are you?"

She gives a genteel bow and a smile as she looks at you. It's a look of recognition you've seen a few times by now. She recognises Anonymous, a human. Not you, Anonymous the human. It feels frustrating but you're not about to call attention to it and make an ass of yourself. Besides, you haven't spoken to much of Pinkie's friends before. You smile back.

"Good. It's been a while, Rarity. How are you?"

"To be honest, quite busy. Come on, Pinkie dear, we're here on important Elements of Harmony business."

Rarity tries to politely but firmly guide Pinkie into following her without ever making contact but Pinkie Pie quickly stands her ground.

"I know. I know. But I promised to meet Anon to discuss something important before the elements thing even happened."

"Oh, I didn't realise," Rarity looks up to you, "I am extremely sorry about this."

"It's alright. Pinkie go deal with your thing."

"Maybe Anon can come with us?"

Rarity simply raises a brow that says it all to Pinkie on the matter. Her ears droop and she seems genuinely crestfallen. She's probably the type to take a promise seriously, so you feel a pang of sympathy for her on this one.

"Sorry Anon," she states, sounding almost mournful.

Then she gets up onto her hindlegs as you squat slightly so the two of you can hug. Then just as she goes to follow Rarity, she hands you a piece of paper.

"That'll be in your price range and I already spoke to the Cakes about work."

"Ah, so--"

Your face immediately screws up into a scowl and Trixie cuts herself from interrupting once again. Though just as you're about to launch back into it again, you hear little footsteps from down the hall before a bleary eyed Moonie steps out. You glance at the time to see it's still really late but not that point of late where she is mischievously up and about.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, concerned.

"I can't get back to sleep and I heard talking," she yawns with her eyes barely open.

"Come here," you pat the couch beside you.

Moonie climbs up and rests her head on your lap so you can run your fingers through her mane. The strange ethereal locks always feel cool to the touch yet it's like running your hands through sand. As if there wasn't a single long lock, just a million dots to mimic the night sky.

"What are you two talking about?"

"I was telling Trixie about how we met."

You can't see it, but you can feel her face pull into a smile by the part resting on your lap which makes you softly smile in return.

"Yes, and Trixie is getting impatient!"

You press a finger to your lips to hush her, "Then stop interrupting."

Trixie pouts but sits there quietly once more.

It's been a few days since you spoke to Pinkie last but you've managed to get things in order on your own seeing as she already did most of the legwork back in Ponyville. So now you're back in your room, packing some things when you notice a suitcase is zipped up. You blink and shake your head in the momentary lapse in memory because you don't recall zipping it. You place the clothes you were holding to the side and unzip the case. Then it immediately zips itself up again with a bright blue aura.

You recognise the sign of magic but not the colour. You quickly scan the room for anyone who might be pulling a joke then unzip it again before thrusting the case open. Nightmare Moon in there yelps as she slams it shut again. This time her magic aura fizzes out almost as soon as it starts.

"Is it possible for ponies to run out of magic?" You ask you lift the case again.

Nightmare Moon lies there amongst all your clothes.

"Get out," you state.

"No, you have to get me out."

"Look, you seem like an alright kid but I'm not up for the game today. I need to get myself sort out right now."

"Come, Anonymous, we can be accomplices! I know they're planning on letting you free tomorrow so take me with you! With me as your Queen, with your RAW POWER and my brains, we could rule this sun-forsaken world in a week. Join me!"

She out-stretches a hoof and waits while standing there in your suitcase. All her moving around has jostled everything and now needs to be refolded. You sigh wearily then scoop the filly up in one arm. She cheers triumphantly as you walk down the hallway.

"Trixie does have a few more questions."

"Like what?" You ask, trying to keep the frustration at another sudden interruption out of your voice.

"Well, about you. What were you doing in Canterlot Castle? Why did you want to leave? And how did you even get to Equestria?"

"I was living there though I wasn't really happy there. As for how I got here, well that's a story that must have been told a million times now."

Trixie scrunches her face in disgust at you.

"You tell a long tale about meeting Moonie but those you answer in a sentence?"

"Those are hardly interesting stories. Trust me, you won't be interested. Besides, you asked about Moonie, not my tale."

"The Wise and Sceptical Trixie thinks you are lying to her."

You give her a knowing smile, "Perhaps another time. But first, if you interrupt once more then I'm stopping the story right then and there."

Gently pushing on the throne room door, you peer inside to see both Princesses in conversation. You gently knock on the door to give them a chance compose themselves before stepping inside. Princess Celestia smiles when she sees you.

"Ah, Anonymous, what can--"

Then they notice Nightmare Moon tucked under one arm.

"You!" says Luna.

"Wha--TRAITOR!" Shrieks Moonie before she tries to flee for her life, though your grip is firm.

"Stop it," you tell her.

It doesn't work. The filly flails and wails for a bit longer, her horn flickers with light for the briefest second but nothing magical happens and then eventually Nightmare Moon tires herself out.

"You done now?"

"Yes," she resigns while going limp.

You look back to the Princesses to say something but stop when both are wide-eyed with shock.

"I'm sorry if I--"

"No-no-no," Princess Celestia interjects as she moves over to you to examine Nightmare Moon still slung under your arm, "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Control her like that."

You shrug and feel a rising concern for the child's well-being when you noticed Celestia's look of genuine wonder and Luna still standing where she was when you first entered, wide-eyed and horrified.

"Discipline, I guess. I don't know, just be firm."

Celestia nods a few times while still staring at Nightmare Moon then asks you an odd question.

"And what do you think of her?'

You shrug, "She seems like any other kid, I guess she's got quite an overactive imagination and a little more mischievous than most children. But I was a little trouble maker too when I was growing up. Some are just like that, you know?"

This causes Celestia to retreat back to her sister to whisper about something. Luna's head tilts slightly though her eyes remain fixated on the child. It's not until a few words have been exchanged when Luna turns her attention to you. There's still some kind of shock or disbelief there on her face. Everything about this has you feeling uncomfortable and on the spot.

Once they have reached some sort of agreement has been reached, Luna comes over to calmly whisk Nightmare Moon away. Then it is just you and Celestia.

"I'm not sure how I can make this request of you Anonymous, so I'm afraid I will be blunt about it."

You nod.

"We would like you to take Nightmare Moon with you to Ponyville."

"Me?"

"Yes. To be entirely honest, she needs reforming and my sister and I are not... Able to handle this matter." Princess Celestia says in a tone that is matter-a-fact.

"Wait, so you see me discipline a child once and think that means I'm able to raise her. Don't you think that's a little irresponsible?"

"We know you, Anonymous, my sister more than I. We also know that we can trust you."

You feel a little tightness in your chest at the awkwardness of the request. Not only is it a big ask that is way too sudden, you find yourself wondering if you're equipped to do this. Only Celestia seemed so sure that she and Luna are unable.

"Look, I need time to think about this kind of thing. I'm meant to leave tomorrow and this is so sudden."

"I understand what we are asking of you. If it helps, you won't be alone. I'd ask you send us reports of her progress to which we will pitch in as needed and if there is any issue at all with her, the Elements of Harmony will be right there in town to assist.

"I still need time to think. I can't just leap into something this big right away."

"You're a genius, Anonymous. Tricking those stupid Princesses into springing us both. It appears you're not just raw power after all. Your queen is impressed with your charismatic abilities."

You step off the train with Nightmare Moon beside you and into the next phase of your life. In Ponyville.

"Don't call people stupid."

Nightmare Moon seems to mull this over for a moment then says, "I suppose that would blow our cover but what if they actually are stupid?"

"They better be REALLY stupid then," you joke then notice her taking you seriously.

You struggle to swallow as your chest clamps up from the pressure of this new responsibility.

"Look, this is going to be difficult for us both. So I'm going to need you to help me on this. No running away and keep the trouble making to a minimum, okay?"

"Ugh, what are you, my dad?"

You know her reply was sarcastic but part of you almost said yes. The other half finds itself in shock over this.

"I am responsible for you. So... if you want to... You could call me that."

The awkwardness rushes through you and switches to autopilot as you rise to your feet and push Nightmare Moon onwards before giving her a chance to respond. You notice her looking off in the distance however. Perhaps planning some kind of run so you brace yourself to run her down instantly. Your legs are longer so you'd catch her in a moment. But then you notice her untense a little as some kind of conclusion is reached internally for her.

"Very well, but in time we shall sow death, destruction, and despair once more," Nightmare Moon cackles.

"Absolutely," you dryly reply, playing along with her strange game, "But not until you finish your dinner and bath."

"Very well, dinner then doom."

"No. Dinner then bath."

"Ugh, fine! Dinner, bath, then doom?"

You nod which elicits a cheer from her. Her childish glee over mischief is infectious. So much so that you don't even notice to horrified stares from the Ponyville citizens, all of which staring at the two of you. Perhaps if you did, you might have noticed some where not even sure which of you was more terrifying to them.

The day is spent unpacking, chasing after Nightmare Moon, and then once she was tired out before bed you spent it planning what comes next. There was something about all this that felt familiar to you, though you can't place how. Maybe looking after kids is something instinctual but then again, you've looked after kids before and none gave you this feeling of purpose.

Still your body ached from the fatigue and was grateful when you fell into bed. One last time you ran through your checklist: you need furniture for the house, there's still the new bakery job to start, you'll need to organise some kind of care or schooling for Nightmare Moon while you're at work, and you'll need to work out this whole parenting thing too.

"For Moonie's sake, I better figure this out soon."

Then think to yourself in horror over the pet name you've given her, realising you're already getting attached.

Your fingers run through Moonie's mane as you finish the last part of the story. She's fast asleep. She did soon after laying on your lap but she looks peaceful. It's a shame you'll have to move her but you hope you'll be gentle enough not to wake her completely. Then you look over to Trixie, who hasn't said a word in a while to notice her fast asleep too.

"Jeez, it's like I've adopted two kids sometimes," you mumble as you carefully get up.

Once Trixie and Moonie are in their separate beds, you sit down on yours. You must have lifted one or both of them wrong as your back throbs a little.

"Ugh, I'm so old," you joke to yourself while climbing under the covers.

Before you fall asleep, you think over all the wonderful memories you've made here. With Moonie, Pinkie, Trixie, the Princesses, Mayor Mare, Ponyville, and even the rest of Equestria. But mostly you think fondly of your memories with Moonie.

"She's a good kid," you chuckle while drifting away, "Somewhere in there."

102 Anon is Sick

Either it's been ten minutes or an hour since you woke up. The passage of time has become an enigma to you for a long while now. Or maybe it hasn't been that long, that's kind of the point of this feeling after all. Either way, you've grown tired of laying in bed though you still feel groggy and listless. You rest on one arm to prop yourself up. It shakes under your own weight and, feeling curious over this strange new fatigue, you add the other's strength into sitting up.

As a groan escapes your lips and pops echo from stiff joints, you note a strange disconnect from your conscious and subconscious mind. It's like if you had the thought 'what am I think of right now?' you would find no other voice in your mind beyond that question. A boundless void for the thought to echo into as you sit there blinking.

"What time is it?" You grumble while waiting for your eyes to focus.

There's a dull throbbing in your left arm, your hand tingling as the blood brings back feeling. You give it a few flicks, flexing it reflexively as wait for things there to feel normal again.

"9:34am," the clock reads.

An alarm was meant to go off at 7:00am so you grunt in frustration. Then you notice a catch in your throat and have to cough to clear it. You've spent so long in Equestria that you've forgotten many things. Like how many years it has been since you arrived for one, what another human being's face looks like, and many more vague recollections that seem more silhouette than memory. Par for the course at this point.

As you run a check on your body's condition, you feel like there is a memory you're unable to recall. You can feel the recollection there but it's hidden away like a stone in murky waters. It takes some time before you realise. The aches, joint pains, and fatigue could maybe blamed upon your age or even a particularly bad night's sleep. But you catch yourself sniffing from a runny nose a few times, your throat is particularly hoarse, and an occasional dull throb in your head makes your sight blur.

You head into the bathroom and pull out the thermometer. After a few minutes you check the reading. 38°C (100.4°F). You take a deep breath and try to recall what the normal temperature is supposed to be. It's been so long ago that the memory is hazy at best. Nothing you feel confident staking your health on. As this hasn't happened in Equestria before, you can't help but feel uneasy as you make a mental to-do list when suddenly you are interrupted.

"When's breakfast?" Moonie asks before she even appears around the corner.

"Now, I'd say."

Without another word, you organise a simple breakfast for the two of you then eat in silence.

"Are you feeling okay?" Moonie asks with a level of uncharacteristic concern.

You shrug. Now you frown at your the sudden impulse to lie. She may be a child but she's old enough by now to not be coddled like that. Surely.

"I think I'm coming down with something."

"What do you mean?"

You shrug, sincerely this time. "Not sure. I've never been sick in this world before."

There's a brief pause as Moonie stares straight ahead. Her face somewhere between deadpan and stern. You finish off the last piece of your toast while watching her. She looks as if she is deciphering something. Or plotting. Yes. This definitely looks like the plotting face.

"What? Never since being here?"

"Yeah, pretty lucky all things considered. For a while I thought people just didn't get sick here," you chuckle slightly. "Then Luna once tried to power though some infection until the fever made her collapse. Princess Celestia was pretty furious at her for that."

"Isn't that... Bad?"

There's a slight delay in your mouth opening and words coming out because your brain does a double take to process the conversation twice over. You were about to reply with Luna's illness being indeed pretty bad at the time before you realise she was talking about your own.

"Hard to say... Runny nose, cough, fatigue, and maybe a slight fever."

"Maybe a fever?" Moonie asks incredulously.

"I forget what a temperature is meant to be. The normal range. For humans. I don't feel warmer than normal but I think it's a little higher than it should be."

Moonie shakes her head before she glares at you in both shock & mild horror.

"How does one forget such a thing?"

"It's been decades since I arrived. I barely remember the last time I was sick. Anyway, these are basic symptoms. It could be a cold, the flu, or some other infection."

You keep your voice cool and calm in hopes Moonie will relax a little. Her body language has become very tense and stiff. Now she's leaning on the table towards you with a strange expression. There's an ever changing mix of emotions on Moonie's face that has you unsure of what exactly is going on in her head. Then again maybe that's what is going on in her head. A whirlwind of emotion. Which makes you worry. Just a little. Kinda. Kinda a lot.

"What do we do?"

You smile at her warmly when she looks at you with a strong determination. Moonie isn't the type to show her affectionate feelings, or many other positive feelings for that matter, but she has her ways of showing she cares. She'll want to do something together, at times she'll want to just hang around you even as you both do your own separate things, and at times she tries to help. Though each in her own unique brand. The memory of waking up in the mornings surfaces to mind, of her playing quietly or reading in a corner of your room. She would wait patiently for you to wake up, unwilling to disturb you most mornings, but would still want to just be around.

However this seems to be a different thing for her. She's not the type to worry and fret over you. Honestly in your relationship, you're the one that has to do all the worrying and fretting as Moonie goes about her life almost without a care or concern. Perhaps that's the joy of childhood. Either way, you're noticing Moonie's breathing has been quickening slightly. So you begin to lay out a plan. Hopefully passing it off as you knowing what to do will help. Both of you.

"I'd like to go to the doctor's before work. They won't be able to do anything but getting some record of things as a precaution would be the smart thing to do."

Moonie nodded. Then she opens her mouth to speak but pauses. Her eyes glaze over to somewhere distant then snap back to meet yours. Her stare is piercing and intense. She opens her mouth to speak once more only this time words come out.

"You aren't going to work."

Moonie's tone is authoritative and is spoken in a way that will not accept any argument. It's almost parental. Actually, it's exactly like yours when you put on your parental voice. You scoff a little at the idea of the role reversal.

"Oh?" You ask with a raised brow, "And why is that, little miss?"

"You are sick," she replies as if she were the only adult in the room.

"I have a few things that need to be done today."

"But as you are sick--"

You cut her off by raising a hand, gesturing that you're not done yet.

"The rest I can put off. It wouldn't even be a half day's work. An hour, two at most."

Moonie glares at you once again. However this time it's something else. Disappointment? Irritation? Stubbornness? Each guess feels like it misses the mark. Whatever it is, it's definitely stony and displeased.

"How about this, while I'm with the doctor you could run to my office and collect the papers I need. Then I wouldn't be pushing myself to make a trip out. I'll be able to work at home under your watchful eye. I can't get tempted to sneak in any extra work."

She seems to consider this for some time. Once or twice she glances your way though only briefly. Once she appears to reach a decision she takes a deep breath.

"Very well, your Queen graciously accepts your terms. And... she shall hold you to them."

You're now sitting in the hospital waiting room with Moonie. You explained to her back at home what you needed for work but she insisted on coming with you. And now she seems intent on waiting. All the while, you find yourself feeling a little moved by this stubborn will to look out for you. Even if she's kind of impetuous about it. You're definitely not about to argue over it and risk losing entirely. So you wait a few minutes. The whole time to try to hide the strain you're feeling from walking here. It's a small uphill walk but with your body's endurance down the drain, you're ashamedly feeling tired.

"You know what, wait here." Moonie states as she leaps off the seat.

You watch her, curious. At first it seems she is heading over to the counter but then she turns and shoves her way through some double doors. Without a sign nearby, you're not sure exactly where she has barged into. Which makes the rising panic even worse. Not only has your child brazenly wandered off but she could be walking into who knows where. As your heart rate rises, you wonder what you should do in this situation. Just as you're about to go talk to the nurse at the desk, a yellow-orange stallion with a brown mane and white coat stumbles out. Followed soon after is a beaming Moonie. Your heart rate continues to rise.

"Uh, Mr Anonymous?" the doctor calls anxiously.

"That's me," you say as you stand up.

Hesitantly you walk over as he gestures for you to follow. Moonie continues to stand there, grinning. And you notice the doctor take a small side-step away as he walks pass Moonie.

"What did you do?"

"I explained the situation," she says without meeting your eye.

Moonie's expression is cool, calm, collected... and devilish. It's a smirk no other living creature could claim to recognise better than you. You know this mischievous grin from the thousands of times you've seen it. It's the kind of smile only the trouble makers of the world can display after satisfying their malevolent urges to delight in some schadenfreude.

"Well, if I start getting prodded with needles like a lab rat, I'll know why," you say dryly.

"I'll have a word with him if he does."

That vaguely sounded like a threat to your ears. And with that distant look now in her eyes you can tell she is off imagining the future. One of possibility and plotting. Only when you watch her creeping grin gain more and more teeth do you second guess accepting Moonie's help. This is indeed a new side to her. You never knew someone could be maliciously helpful but here you are.

From here, Moonie heads off to your office while you follow the doctor. The poor stallion is already looking overwhelmed and somewhat harassed from whatever Moonie did to him. Once you explain your symptoms to him, he starts to look worse.

"I'm not sure how... Especially because you've never been sick before. A-And--and there's the matter of..."

He trails off and you nod knowingly.

"I know. Honestly, I think it's a minor cold or something," you shrug, "But I wanted to at least have something about my condition written down."

There's a small pause.

"In case I get worse," you say pointedly.

The doctor suddenly snaps to attention with a bit of a start.

"Oh, yes, that's a very wise precaution. Here, let me--"

He grabs a monitor that looks like what you use to check blood pressure then seems to fidget in place, moving from side to side and making impatient noises.

"Could you please stand up?" He finally asks.

You do and the doctor looks at your backside while you feel confused.

"Um... You don't have a tail."

"Yeah."

Your tone is matter of fact though with some mild amusement at whatever miscommunication is going on here.

"This is an oscillometric monitor, we can monitor a few things like heart rate and blood pressure. We put it around the base of the tail but..."

The doctor looks at you imploringly. As if you were the medical professional between the two of you. Though as you think about it, you'd probably be the closest to qualified on that score. Which isn't saying much.

"Arm," you state, giving your bicep a tap roughly where you recall having that test before.

"Alright, but, you know..."

He trails off, not ever explaining what you should know. You decide it best to just go with the flow of things right now. The doctor is stressed from being out of his field of expertise and the dull throbbing in your head is threatening to escalate if you don't take it as easy as possible soon. He takes a few tests here and there but ultimately as he has no idea what is normal for you, he just writes it all down.

"38.5°C (101.3°F). Is that normal?"

You shrug.

"I dunno."

"I see."

A nervous sweat begins to bead upon his brow as he writes the final notes down then he excuses himself for a minute. While he is gone, Moonie returns wearing a saddlebag.

"Where's the doctor?" She asks, looking around the room.

"He'll be back in a minute."

"Very well."

She takes a seat beside you just as the doctor returns. Once he notices Moonie, he freezes for a moment. His body is at a total stand-still. You'd think someone stopped time if it weren't for the trembling in his eyes. Then he begins to move again in a way that looks like he is awkward inside his own body. You turn to Moonie and give her a parental scowl.

"What?"

She looks back at you as if affronted but you aren't buying it. Moonie holds her expression for a moment but your watching eyes are unyielding so eventually it causes her to scoff then look at the doctor.

"Here is a copy of the results, just in case. I've filed ours away should you need to return."

The doctor stands there silently as if that was all for a moment. Then Moonie frowns.

"And? What do you think is wrong with him?"

"Oh, I don't know. It seems like a flu and Mr Mayor Anonymous seems to agree. But as he has never been sick before we cannot be sure."

"Is there nothing you can do? Nothing you can give him?" Moonie is standing up now and pressing with an odd rigidness to her voice.

"Well, we don't know how his system will react to it. It could make him better or worse... Or, you know, worse."

You hadn't given the medication angle too much thought as your mind is processing things one step at a time on what you need to do. And the finality on which the doctor delivered the latter part sends a slight chill through you. Moonie grunts and shakes her head. A tension steadily rises in the room alongside a certain someone's hot temper. As if in a desperate bid to fill silence the doctor hastily continues.

"I'm only really trained in pony biology. Maybe Miss Morab, the local vet, might have a better idea."

The pervading temper in the room now turns icy. The poor doctor's eyes flicker to you for the briefest moment as he desperately doesn't want to take them off Moonie's. Admittedly up until now you had been watching with a bit of detachment. You're aware of what's going on but something in your head is preventing you from actually focusing on it so you've not cared as much as you should. While part of you was curious, you're actually suspecting it's whatever you've got causing you to zone out for a minute. You can even feel the sweat from this fever pooling on your lower back. You unstick your shirt with one hand and try to flick it a little, hoping to dry your shirt out some.

"An animal doctor?"

"Moonie," you say flatly.

"What?" She replies, her tone biting and irritated.

You raise a brow and put on an unamused face, "Breathe and try that again."

Moonie examines you for a time. Her eyes scan over what feels like every part of your expression like some predator weighing its odds. Her body is tense and her face screws up in contemplation. But then she lets escape a small breath of air. In the corner of your eye, the doctor lets out a breath of his own in relief yet also takes two steps back for safety's sake.

"What?"

Moonie's tone is still grouchy but the snappishness and aggression has been replaced with a cool and calmness. A cool and calm anger, clearly, but you'd never expect her to be able to let her temper go in an instant.

"You don't get angry at a carpenter who can't fix the kitchen sink."

"What does that even mean?"

Your brain does a double take again, re-examining your own words to see if they make sense. Internally you nod to yourself as you decide that they do. You think. Moonie screws her face up in confusion and stares deeper into your eyes, as if some explanation might be written on the back of them. You just blow a weary little raspberry then get to your feet.

"I'm not feeling well, let's go home," you state as you make your way to the door, "Thanks doc."

He waves back to you.

There's a moment of hesitation for Moonie as she clearly wants to do or say something more but once you open the door she scurries after you. As you both walk back, she spends most of it looking upwards at you and barely looking where she is going. The only reason she doesn't bump into anything or trip over something is you opt for just watching where you're both going, rather than scolding her for worrying too much.

"Anon?"

You glance up from the desk where you are working to see Moonie leaning on it across from you. Your mind seems to be overcome with a wanderlust. Or at the least seems to unable to focus right. Even as you look Moonie dead in the eyes, it takes a second before you actually register the fact she's in front of you.

"Yeah?" You say, though it comes out more like a grunt.

"What can I do?"

There's a moment of silence as your brain's gears catch up to speed.

"You can read, play with your toys--"

"No," interrupts Moonie, "I'm asking about you."

"Oh... Well, I'm okay thanks. I've got some water to keep hydrated, thermometer is here to regularly check on my temperature, and I'm taking my work slowly like we agreed."

Moonie nods in acknowledgement but doesn't seem satisfied with your answer.

"I could get you a blanket?"

"I don't think I should warm myself up more if I have a fever."

"Ah, then I could bring a fan or some ice."

"I should be alright, it's winter so it's cool enough as is."

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"What time is it?"

"1pm."

"Then it's only been an hour since lunch."

She moves to speak some more when there is a knock at the door. You catch her rolling her eyes and huffing in frustration as she moves.

"I'll get it. Stay," commands the filly of the night before darting to the door.

"Is Mayor Anonymous here?" Asks the newcomer.

"Who is calling?" replies Moonie in a dry and impatient tone.

"Lady Gavel."

As she introduces herself she straightens out her posture with the confident ease of society's upper crust. Though you bet she didn't notice that at the same time as her, Moonie mimicked her pose and facial expression. You smile but also have to muffle a laugh. Not only should you not encourage Moonie's naturally mocking nature but also Lady Gavel isn't the type to take insult well.

"And the nature of your business this evening?"

"Are you his secretary?," replies Lady Gavel who knows you don't have one, "The matter is rather confidential."

Moonie bristles as her remark slightly but keeps her voice level yet still mocking.

"I'm afraid Mayor Anonymous is under the weather today--"

"Yes, I am aware of that. However I need to speak with him. That's why I came here. Could you tell him it is in regards to the insurance project."

Moonie pauses for a very deliberately drawn out second then clears her and speaks in a commanding haughty voice, "As I was saying, due to Mayor Anonymous' condition he is unable to take any visitors unless is it of great importance or of a personal nature."

It was Lady Gavel's turn to bristle now.

"Is that so? And who are you exactly?"

"I am Nightmare Moon, daughter to Mayor Anonymous. So in fact you may think of me today as both his nurse and warden. Mainly warden."

Lady Gavel draws herself up to her full height and raises her nose skyward so she is looking down on Moonie even more than her height already allows. Then just as she takes a deep breath Moonie slams the door on her face. A gasp in shock followed by hooves storming off can be heard but you wait a bit before speaking.

"That was rude."

"You saw and heard the whole thing, you could have stepped in."

"I was hoping you were going to handle it a bit more delicately. She's going to be quite the pain when I catch her next you know." You sigh.

"Delicate? Me?"

"Yes. I know. But I swear I could remember teaching you manners once or twice before."

"Oh my, yes, we believe you have been very educational in that department."

"Anon?" Moonie asks.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, same old."

"You just tuned out for a bit there?"

You give her a puzzled look, "What do you mean?"

"I just made a witty remark about being above manners and then you just sat there not moving for a few seconds."

"Ah. Sorry, I--"

"Anon?" Moonie asks.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

You're about to reply when you notice Moonie is standing on the table right in front of your face. You're not sure why your mind took so long to realise it. In fact you could have sworn she was over by the door a second ago. As you play catch up you ponder over Moonie strained voice then wonder how bad you must appear to her to make her worry so visibly.

"Anon?" Moonie asks.

"Yeah?"

"What's happening?"

"You were right. I shouldn't have been working. I should rest."

"Good," Moonie replies as she hops down to the floor as you stand up.

She tries to support you walking to your room. Though being so much taller and weighing more than her, you try to find a balance between accepting her support so she'll feel helpful and relying upon your own power so you don't tumble on top of her. The last thing you both need right now is an injury.

"Anon?"

"Yeah?"

"What was your temperature last? It's reading 40°C (104°F)"

You make some effort at a reply but it's a garbled mess for the most part. "Higher" is the most coherent word you're able to get out. But Moonie seems to pick that part up. You hear her scurry off somewhere and notice you're in your bed. It's slightly confusing as the last memory you recall is just walking toward your room. You're not sure if you got there or perhaps if Moonie had to drag you.

"This might be pretty bad," you morbidly chuckle to yourself.

There's something wet and lukewarm place on your forehead. At first it seems cold but it must have been a contrast to your own body temperature.

"How is that?" You hear a voice ask.

Unable to summon the energy to fully speak, you make a pleased grunt.

"Okay, good," the voice replies as it pats your chest.

You feel your upper body being moved. The sensation is disorienting and your head feels like a compass that can't find north. It's like your being rocked and rolled into a vague direction until eventually you seem to be sitting upright.

"Drink."

The voice places a cup to your lip and you open your mouth then the cool liquid is pour slowly for you to drink.

"What about a headache?"

You grunt a no.

"Okay, so that's an improvement."

"39 degrees? You said that before and it went back up! This must be broken too."

You grunt in question.

"Oh, no, not you. It's this. Your temperature has been fluctuating for a while. Is that normal?"

You grunt yes.

"Great. Well at least you know that much." The voice grumbles.

You wake up with a sense of clarity you haven't felt in a while. There's some memories of what happened throughout the day but it's all hazy and broken up. No one scene is complete. You place the back of your hand to your forehead and note that you still feel warm but you're breathing easier and your head feels clearer. While this is likely a sign you're on the upswing, you're still not feeling great. So you make an effort to not get your hopes up.

"9:35am," the clock reads.

Then you notice the glass of water next to it and greedily gulp it down. Beside you Moonie is sleeping and you're able to piece together that the distant voice in all your foggy memories was her. She must be exhausted looking after you for so long. So you move very very slowly out of bed to go to the bathroom. Standing up makes you feel a little dizzy at first but you take it slow. After that you're refilling the glass Moonie left you when you hear hoof steps. They're moving at a speed not quite a walk and not quite a run so you step out of the kitchen for Moonie to find you.

"You're up."

"Yeah," you croak.

The two of you return to your bedroom. It's not until you're both laying back down that the conversation starts.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice is soft. It seems uncharacteristic almost but it fills you with warmth and that hardness that could be associated with her is still there. So she sounds caring.

"Better."

"I can see that much. Your temperature is down, you're coherent, and you're able to move on your own. But that doesn't answer my question."

"My nose feels blocked and runny all at once, my muscles ache, my joints feel like stone, while my mind feels clearer it still feels like there is a fog or a delay to my every thought, and I feel sweaty."

"You should take a shower in a bit then."

"Yeah, I will. Now, what about you?"

"I'm not the one who is sick," scoffs Moonie.

"Me being sick doesn't mean something can't be wrong with you. You've been through a lot."

There's a silence for some time. There's a tense and ensuing pressure to it. As if something is coming. And it's because of that atmosphere that you sit quietly and wait. Moonie might be processing how she feels, working out how to convey it, or maybe even summoning the willpower to talk. Either way, you can tell she is going to talk but it'll take a moment. And that's okay.

"I'm a little annoyed that you don't know how to look after yourself better. I mean how can you forget something so important as what your temperature is."

You nod, "Yeah, I'm a little disappointed in me too... Like I mentioned before, it's been so long since being sick was an issue so I must have gotten complacent about that kind of info."

There's another pause and you can feel Moonie shift about uneasily beside you.

"It's not so much that."

"Then what is it?"

"I am annoyed about that of course, but it's mainly that... It's just... This is the first time you've been sick."

"Yeah?" You're a little confused but decide to wait it out as Moonie fumbles over her words.

"You've... always been healthy. Always been okay. So much so that it's like you're so sure of yourself and when you haven't you've at least known what to do about it. And it's just today you weren't."

"Honestly I don't really know what I'm doing most of the time."

"Of course you don't. Nobody does, even if some think they do," Moonie rolls her eyes, "Fine. It's now that you know what to do, you know how."

"I don't follow."

"You're always trying, always working, always looking out for people. Not because you know it's what you've got to but because it's what you should do."

"I think I follow, you're saying I try to do the right thing?"

She nods.

"Then..."

"Then?"

"Since when did you care about the right thing?"

Moonie playfully hits you on the arm. With all your bodily aches and pains, it hurts more than you left on.

"Here's an example, you took me in because it was the right thing."

The sudden mention of it catches you so off guard that it fills you with a nervous energy.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why?"

Her voice is low and flat. It's not accusing however that doesn't your brain from taking it that way. So your reply definitely sounds defensive.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why did you take me in?"

You take a deep breath, "Because the princesses asked me to and I felt like..."

Now it was Moonie turn to wait for you. Not only did you need to process how you felt but also how to convey the feeling. And once that was done, you'd need to somehow find the willpower to tell it. It's such a raw feeling that you almost never think about let alone speak of. Being sick also really doesn't help the feeling of being off-guard.

"When you're a kid you need someone. Not just to care for you. You need... You need someone to... to be wanted, to have someone who wants to be there for you. I remember thinking of you as a mischievous little devil but also that you seemed kinda lonely."

Moonie seems to nod approvingly then adds, "What did that matter to you though?"

"There's a lot to that question I suppose but I guess... I wanted to be for you what I needed when I was younger. You needed someone who will always care for you."

Silence returns once more as Moonie seems to ponder over something. You hear her mumble "that's it," to herself but before you can ask she speaks up.

"That's what I'm upset about I guess, who will care for you?"

"Well, I hope that's you. Especially after today."

"I didn't really do a good job of that."

"What do you mean? I didn't really let you at first but I have enough sporadic memories to know you've been looking after me all day and night."

As you say that you pull Moonie into a hug which she offers no protest to. Her head ends up resting on your chest, so when she talks you feel the vibrations at your core, as the two of you lay there in each other's company.

"I didn't do much. Just watched you and gave you water."

"I know you did a lot."

"I didn't... didn't know what to do. I still don't. I wanted to help but I had to sit there at watch."

Your heart pours out for the kid as she gives voice to her concerns. While she doesn't outright say it, it's all about your own mortality. Which brings up a thought to your mind that you don't really think about. Moonie is so long lived to be seemingly immortal. Just that one thought alone brings forward so many other thoughts you don't even want to think about. Most of all the future.

"How can I help?" Moonie asks and her question acts like a lighthouse on dark and foggy shores. A beacon for you to focus on.

"Tell you what, tell me a bedtime story."

You can feel Moonie shift so she can look up into your face as your give an odd smile.

"I've always wanted one."

There's a little pause before you feel her nod then she tries making up a tale of a hero tyrant who frees Equestria from a distant and inactive ruler. The hero tyrant battling valiantly until her moment of victory where she forces peace and prosperity on the land with an iron hoof. The thinly veiled wish fulfillment makes you chuckle warmly a few times as you contentedly wish things never had to change.

2 Truth or Dare

You’re heading over to Sweet Apple Acres to pick up Moonie. She got invited to play with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and you’re expecting to walk up to their tree house to see it set alight or dark, evil symbols everywhere of some old cult devoted to her former self or to see her sacrificing one of the girls. Moonie is a great kid and she’s doing well in reforming but she has her... moments.

You knock on the door and Big Mac answers.

“Hey Big Mac, Moonie ready?”

“Nope. She’s upstairs.”

That's probably the most you've ever heard from him. You say thanks before heading upstairs. It's not hard to guess which room; the giggling is a pretty clear sign of which door they’re behind. You open the door a little to check if Moonie is behaving well with the girls. Surprisingly, they’re all sitting in a circle talking.

“Nightmare, truth or dare?” No doubt she made them call her Nightmare and not Moonie.

“Dare. The Princess of the Night can take any challenge you throw at her.”

The girls talk amongst themselves in a huddle for a brief moment before returning back to their spots with devilish grins on their faces.

“Ah dare ya, to call Anon your ‘Daddy’.”

Moonie goes the brightest shade of red and stutters to get out an answer. The other girls go into a giggling fit. “I will do no such thing! Anonymous is my servant and will be addressed as such.”

“You’ve got to Nightmare, it’s the rules,” Sweetie Belle adds.

“Yeah or are you chicken?” Scootaloo mocks after making a few chicken clucks.

Moonie gives Scootaloo a glare while they go back into a giggling fit. Moonie’s blush goes turns a brighter shade of red, probably from anger. You give a knock before opening the door the rest of the way. Moonie freezes, probably afraid you might have heard the dare she’s been given. You know she’s not one to back away from a challenge but she’s not fond of showing emotion either, especially around others so, you play innocent.

“Ready to go Moonie?”

“I-uh-Yes.”

“Good, let’s go then. I’ve got to get dinner ready.”

“Okay *mumble*.”

You know what she said but you’re not going to let her get away with it. “What was that?”

She responds with a confused look. You can see how nervous she really is. “NOTHING! Let’s go, your Queen is tired.”

You give a grin, seems she can’t do it after all.

After dinner and a few games you tuck Moonie into bed then read her favourite bedtime story, ‘Goodnight Moon.’ She falls asleep before you finish, so you give her a kiss on the forehead before quietly leaving. As you slowly close the door, you hear Moonie talk in her sleep.

”Goodnight, Daddy.”

8 I need a hobby

You lean back into your chair after finishing the same book for the third time. As you stare at the ceiling, you realise you have no idea on what you should do next.

"I need a hobby," you say aloud to yourself.

"You filthy cheater!"

After the sudden outburst, Moonie storms out of her room and flops onto the couch with an irritated groan.

"Everything alright?"

"No. Mr Bearington has been cheating in chess."

You decide it's best not to question how she can lose to a stuffed bear let alone how he's able to cheat. Kids usually have an over-active imagination and Moonie is no different in that regard.

"Anon, I'm bored."

"Go shovel the snow off the footpath outside then."

"No, I don't want to."

"I guess you're not that bored then."

"You know, as your Queen, these menial labour tasks are your responsibility. I work very hard and you dare shovel a greater work load at me? It's like you don't even appreciate what I do around here."

You muffle a chuckle to make sure she doesn't hear or see you laughing. The last thing she needs is to discover that you find her rants like this, amusing. She'd never end.

"Moonie, do as you're told."

"I... I am the mistress of the night, darkness incarnate. My brilliant mind should be put to use ruling this feeble country and instead you want me to shovel snow?"

"The shovel is already outside for you."

With a grumble and a loud march, Moonie heads outside. Her rant however, is far from over. It doesn't take her long, magic speeds up the process of most jobs. You know exactly when she's finished because all you hear outside is her roaring cackle. Curious about what she's up to, you take a look outside where she's made a small fort on one side of the yard and made tiny snowponies on the other side.

"FIRE!"

She shouts again as she hurls snowballs directly at the snowponies. One hits the largest snowpony in the face, causing its head to fall off which sends Moonie into a laughing fit.
"Well, at least I'm not the only one who needs a hobby."

9 Sweet Dreams

You're lying in bed as you wait for sleep to take over. Then the silence is broken as you hear Moonie let out a scream. Jumping out of bed, you rush into her room to find her crying.

"Aw, what's wrong, Moonie?"

"Nuff-*sniff*-thing. I-I am *sniff* Darkness incarnate *sniff-sniff* nothing can s-scare me."

"If you say so." You turn to leave the room.

"WAIT!" You face Moonie once again and put on your ‘I'm listening’ face. "I may have had a nightmare."

"And what can scare the great Nightmare Moon?"

"I dreamt the Elements of Harmony came and took me away."

You lie down next to her and bring her into a hug. "Nobody will take you away."

After petting her mane to calm her down for a while, you notice she's fallen asleep, so you decide to just cuddle her for the rest of the night.

11 Bedtime Antics

"Moonie. Bed time."

You wait but there's no defiant reply. Instead, the house is silent, then you hear a muffled snicker. As you walk around the lounge room, the snickering becomes more frequent. You then track it to its source, a filly queen hiding under the coffee table.

"The paladin of light has found us," she bellows as she runs off with Sir Bearington on her back.

Now, you know it's a bad idea to stir her up when you say it's bedtime but a sudden impulse overwhelms you. An impulse to chase. You leap over the coffee table and chase after the scurrying terror. For a little thing, she sure can move fast. It also helps that you're walking quickly instead of dashing at her.

The whole time Moonie is running, she's giggling and cackling up a storm. It's wonderful to hear and it gets even better when she runs through the kitchen as you go around through the lounge room. This time, you run and get to the other entrance of the kitchen before she does. She lets out a surprised squeal before trying to run in the other direction.

But your reach gives you the advantage as you scoop her up into your arms.

"Gotcha! And now it's time for your punishment!"

You don't give her a chance to speak as you begin to tickle the now wriggling and giggling Moonie.

"Pfft-Stop-heheh-no more-bahahaha-CEASE THIS AT-AHAHAHAA!!"

You keep tickling her as you carry her to bed and stop just before tucking her in.

"Alright, no more. Night Moonie."

"I... Will get... You... For that," she says in between gasps for air.

You give her a cocky grin as you leave the room for her to sleep.

"ANON!"

Moonie's shriek causes you to half wake up, still in that dreamy state of mind.

"What?!"

"ANON, COME QUICK! PLEASE!"

Her voice is frightened and panicky so you jump out of bed and bolt into her room. As you swing the door open, fully prepared for whatever is going on, a bucket of water pours all over you. Moonie bursts into a giggling fit, unable to hold her sides.

"You should see your stupid face," she says while gasping for air.

"It's midnight.... Get your flank into bed before I kick it in there!"

16 Do what you want cause a pirate is free~

"Yarr-harr-harr," shouts the midnight terror from her room.

You've heard Moonie yelling in pirate talk for the past 10 minutes now. Curiosity finally gets the better of you, so you head down into the basement to see what she's doing. The moment you walk in the room, she looks up from the her spot in front on the washing machine with a newspaper hat and cardboard sword.

"Arr, Anon, glad yer here. Ye beenin' promoted to first mate."

"Why is the washing machine on?"

"The old first mate was back talking, so I had 'im walk the plank into a whirlpool. Yarr-harr-harr! You best behave unless ye want to follow in his pawsteps."

"You know, I think it's high time you had a wash too. You smell like you've been out on the high seas for years."

"No! Mutiny," she cries as you lift her up and carry to the bathroom.

17 Trouble with a capital M

You're enjoying a sandwich when you hear something shatter in the next room.

"Moonie?" You call out with a mouthful of food but there's no answer, only the slamming of a door.

As you let out a sigh, you stand up and walk to the next room to find an antique vase smashed into a thousand pieces that are all scattered across the floor. The vase was given to you by Luna, a priceless heirloom but you're glad to see it go as it was ugly as all hell. It was white with black trimming, red circles that looked like they were staring at you with the words "wub" written all over it. You head outside to find Moonie. It didn't take more than a second as she scurried up the tree in the front yard. Once you step outside, she clings to the tree.

"Moonie, get down from there."

"No!"

As you move closer she tries to climb higher but to no avail. Hooves never were the best at climbing trees.

"What happened?"

"It was an accident. Sir Bearington and I were playing when we bumped into it."

"Are you two okay? Neither of you got any cuts?"

"No."

"Alright, well the vase was disgusting anyway so I'm not mad."

You hold out your arms but she's still not convinced. Damn this filly is stubborn.

"This is a trick!"

"It is not. Now come down before you hurt yourself. How did you even climb that?"

She looks at you, hesitating on making a decision before hiding behind the trunk with just her head poking out.

"First, I need to hear how you love me and how I'm not in trouble."

23 Moonie does her Homework

You walk around the house, contemplating life here and Earth as you munch on a carrot. Usually you'd exercise with Dash but with
your PT off on some Wonderbolt tour, you've taken the opportunity to be lazy. Like every other time you're not hanging with Dash.

"You've failed me for the last time Sir Bearington. AGAIN," Moonie shrieks in frustration from the lounge room.

With nothing better to do, you go check out what's up.

"What are you doing?"

"Homework but Sir Bearington is useless at math."

"Need a hand?"

"Very well. You may assist your queen."

She tries her best to put on a guise but you doubt she could make it more obvious that she's in desperate need for help. You take a seat on the empty floor beside her and look over her paper, just simple math problems from the looks of it.

"Which one are you stuck on?"

She points to the second question. You'd ask how long she's spent on her homework but you asked her to get it done a long while ago so you'd feel bad if the answer was the whole time.

"Using only exponents, make seven an even number," you mutter, reading the question aloud.

"What is an exponent ag-"

"Just remove the s."

She stares at the paper, confused and whispering so quietly that you can't hear it as she tries to piece together what you said until it hits her. Then she looks up at you with a hateful glare.

"Get out. I don't want your help any more."

30 Ice Cream!

"Early days from work are the best," you mutter to yourself as you take a seat outside the school.

It's going to be a few minutes before Moonie gets out but the short break from everything is just what you need.

"You're Anonymous, right?" Asks a mare as she takes a seat beside you.

"The big green alien? How'd you know?"

She lets out this overly girly giggles a little and you smile back, trying to hide that little bit of frustration. She looks familiar, though you can't place where you've seen her. A blue coat with a two tone, grey and blue mane and an hour glass for a cutie mark.

"So, what is it like... being a single dad?"

"I dunno. Probably the same as being a single mum. A pain the ass?"

Again she elicits that damn giggle again. Then you notice Carrot Top approaching in a hasty skip along with a feeling of dread as you realise what's going on.

"Oh, it's Moonie's dad," she coos sweetly.

These ponies are flirting with you. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Berry Punch speaks up from behind you as she leans on the bench.

"Anon, how come you haven't settled down with a nice mare yet?"

"I, uh, just-"

"Haven't found the right one?" The blue one adds as she tries to put on her best seductive look.

At least, that's what you think is happening. Maybe she got some involuntary facial ticks and it'd be best not to bring it up. Either way, you want out. Then the bell tolls and a horde of screaming and unholy cheering fillies and colts dash out of the school.

"ANON!" Moonie calls as she waves from within the swarm.

"Hey kiddo, want a ride?"

"Yes! Carry your queen," she bellows as she stands on her hindlegs and raises her forehooves.

You lift her into your arms as the three giggly mares let out a squee, then you make your way home. With hasty, large steps.

"I had no idea you were such a mare magnet," comments the little bundle of fur that's curled up in your arms.

"Ugh, it's because I'm a single dad. Nothing else."

"So, it's because of me?"

"Yup."

Then the grin of knowledge grows. From ear to ear she beams at you while hundreds of wonderful ideas trickle into a dance of horror for you in her head.

"I want ice-cream."

"What?"

"Hey, you're getting dates because of me. You owe me."

"I don't want to d--"

"ICE CREAM!"

"FINE!"

68 The Odd Family

"Arg," cries Moonie in a mocking sound of death, "I'm bleeding out. Blah, bleh, bluh."
She wriggles about in the office couch and then falls almost lifelessly onto the floor.

"You're an odd child." You remark as you glance up from your work as if peering over non-existent glasses.

"Do you mean for a millenia old former tyrant?"

A chuckle heaves your shoulders up and down as you carry on. Silence falls, save for the whir and click of the ceiling fan and paper shuffling.

"Besides," a lonely Moonie states, eager to get the attention she often craves, "you're one to talk."

You set down your quill and sit up to stretch.

"Oh?" You question with a raised brow.

"You're the oddest parent I've ever met."

"Maybe for your kind," you reply with a sly smile.

"Really," disbelief oozes from her words, " Are all humans like you."

You scoff.

"Knew it."

Her tone is almost sing song as she rolls about on the floor aimlessly.

"So, we have a interspecies father/daughter relationship where the child is older than the parent."

"And both dictators."

"What?"

"Well I used to be one and you still are bossing folks about."

"I'm a fair and benevolent mayor."

"Aha! That's what every evil ruler says before they plunge the world into darkness."

With a mocking maniacal laugh, you shut off the light.

"Death, doom, destruction when Anonymous is around."

The two of you laugh as you find a spot on the floor next to Moonie.

"We are weird," she flatly comments.

It's said so suddenly and distant that you feel a huge heap of concern. You try shrugging it off as overreacting parental feelings but even that isn't enough.

"You know that's okay, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Of course. What else is there to be?"

You give her a reassuring scratch on the head. Unsure if she's feeling better or if anything was really wrong in the first place. But you hope you have. You can do that much at the least.

103 The Final Chapter

"Are you up yet?" echoes a tense voice from behind your door.

You open your eyes and look toward the sound. A blurry sheen like Vaseline over your sight leaves you disoriented until you can blink it away.

"Anon?"

The voice is sterner this time. Slightly concerned but more annoyed than anything else.

"Yes... I'm awake," you reply.

Grunting and groaning under the strain of sitting up, Moonie enters your room and gingerly helps. There's a tight knot in the core of your back that leaves your whole body feeling strained and pained. Like the old withered oak, on its last leg. You twist. You stretch. You jerk at the knot. None of it works. Even reaching for it to rub ends the same. Moonie notices and firmly presses a hoof then uses her magic to twist your shoulder. Slowly she applies pressure, the tiniest of pain before a satisfying pop. Relief floods your body.

"Better?"

"Oh yes, thank you," you smile at her.

She smiles in return but it's a distant one. Already you can see her getting distracted with her to-do list for the day. Your mind wanders a bit itself, over whether you used to give that far away look when the roles were reversed and you were the one to get her out of bed. The two of you walk into the kitchen and step over to the counter.

"I'll do it today," you tell her.

Moonie opens the pantry door as if on autopilot and reaches for a few things before her ears catch her brain up. She looks you over. Funny how time changes things. When she was younger you could read every expression on her face. Her emotions were a torrent that couldn't be contained by the tiny bundle of mischievous energy that she was. Sure she was over a thousand years old even then but that's always been a truth easily ignored when faced with her bold naivety and child-like temper. Now older, more mature, she can so readily meet your face with a deadpan that is hard to read. Is she concerned? Annoyed? Perhaps this is merely her weighing up whether she wants to assert her independence as all who were once children do? Or just a matter of calculating if she has the time for her doddering father to shuffle about.
Whatever is rooting inside her mind, she makes her decision to close the pantry and take a seat. Wizened hands set about to making breakfast but you can feel Moonie's eyes on you the entire time.

"So, what's the plan for today?"

There is no answer so you turn around to meet a measured glare. It's barely a second when Moonie speaks.

"Keep going. I'm just deciding how much to share with the enemy."

The tone is playful but you can't help but wonder. Even if a little.

"Well, today is the day. Even if we have the results of the count after sundown, I want to get at least one last speech before we get under way," she pauses again, "You should too."

You wave your hand dismissively, "there's no need for me to do that. Everybody knows what to expect from me at this rate."

"Still."

You set the breakfast down.

"Well, if the enemy is going to give me a helping hand then who am I to refuse."

The remark is intended as playful though looking at Moonie's inward smile you can see this matters to her. You know why. So you take a breath, a mouthful of your breakfast, and begin to plan a speech.

"Where is your walking stick?"

"I can walk just fine," you snap.

Moonie ignores you and opens the front door back up to grab it and shove it into your hand.

"Thank you," she sarcastically remarks when you don't immediately say it to her.

"You're welcome."

Your retort gets an amused scoff from her but little more as you both walk to the town square. There, many ponies are already hanging around waiting for things to get started. Moonie prepped a small stage before she came to get you.

"So, who goes first?" She asks.

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

"Oh, so you can claim no matter that my hoof is always rock? I'm not a filly anymore so no... How about we draw sticks, whoever has the longest goes first."

It takes you a second. You look at her with furrowed brow being a little confused but then you adjust your walking stick from underneath you and catch on.

"Oh, she finally has some bite today?"

She flashes a very wide and pointed tooth grin at you. To anyone who didn't know her, it would seem villainous. But you knew better. This was competitive. So you take the initiative and step up on stage. All the many eyes of Ponyville focus on you and let out a welcoming cheer with polite applause.

"Thank you everyone."

You scan over the crowd to see many familiar faces all fondly smiling. Though there's some who don't care one way or the other and just want to get their vote in so they can get on with their day. It's all so familiar and you feel your body straighten up as you take on the usual tone. Loud, friendly, and formal.

"You all know me for the many years you have continued to elect me as your mayor. And I feel I have honourably held that position as guardian of Ponyville quite well. I can look out over the town and see many of the changes we have made together. The community we have woven amongst ourselves. But there comes a time when there needs to be a changing of the guard."

Moonie stands up abruptly and glares daggers your way. You can see how angry she is without fully looking her way. You recall when she first told you she wanted to run for mayor that you were so proud you immediately told her you would step aside. She was furious then too. More so. Though she never really explained why she wanted you to campaign, you guessed it had to do with her wanting to be chosen. That getting the position wouldn't mean as much to her if the residents of Ponyville did not put her there. Thankfully you barely skip a step in your recovery.

"And that will come one day. A day when all of you decide the time has come for us all to head in a new direction. Because you all know how I run things. I have done it reliably for decades now and nothing I can ever say here and now would be a stronger argument than my track record. Look back on the years gone by, the peaceful days that I have stood stalwart throughout, the weeks I have worked hard for a better Ponyville, and months of dedication that turn into years. A vote for me is a vote for a Ponyville that remains steadfast."

The ponies clap, cheer, and some call out a few things that sound positive but are beyond your ability to hear over the noise of the many. As you step off the stage, Moonie goes to step up. Her face is determined and you have to hold that proud grin down so she feels you're trying. The crowd's cheers and applause dies once Moonie appears.

"Greetings Residents of Ponyville. It is I, Nightmare Moon. Many have seen me work alongside the current Mayor as his assistant. And believe me when I say, he has needed it." The crowd laughs a little, "Not because Mayor Anonymous cannot but because it is hard work that takes many hooves to do. And I have the knowledge necessary for this passing of the torch. Many have seen me grow up or grown up alongside me. I am one of... I am a part of Ponyville who wishes for this town's growth. It is time for the next generation to step forth, prove ourselves, and build."

The crowd's reaction is silent in a strange way. They aren't not reacting. There's a holding of breath. A pause. Perhaps an expectation as Moonie's speech continues.

"So do not vote for me as Mayor of Ponyville," this startles the hell out of you and dart to your feet as she continues in an increasingly louder and more boisterous voice, "BUT AS YOUR QUEEN! And I shall reign in an eternal nightfall over all peasants! For Ponyville will prosper even if I have to drag it kicking and screaming INTO THE NIGHT!"

The crowd absolutely erupts into cheers and screeching laughter. Their clapping gets louder as Moonie stand onto her hind hooves, raising her forehooves into the air, while flying upwards. Using her magic she creates an illusion of the moon behind her that grows until it swallows her up. Inside it she turns around and steps off the stage as the faux moon pops, raining glittering stars down upon the crowd.

"Nice speech and the flair for dramatics is what I expect from you at this point," you say as she sits beside you.

"Thanks," she replies while the two of you watch all the ponies wander off to vote now that the polls are open.

There's a brief pause before you decide to break it. Cutting off any potential awkwardness before it can begin.

"You got me good with that 'don't vote for me' line."

"Had to get you back for that 'changing of the guard' one of yours."

"That wasn't me about to concede, just a bit," you lie.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, that was me asserting that I was the status quo. After all, I know that's what you want to topple."

There's another pause.

"You really should have sold yourself a little more," her tone is cool and distant.

"I don't really need to. That track record line has worked for the past few years."

"You've run unopposed the last few years."

"I meant the past years when I had to give a speech. Actions speak louder than words is how the saying goes and upholding their faith in me for years really speaks for itself."

"True," Moonie voice reaches a sombre tone as she continues to stare at the crowd.

"Play your cards right and that argument will be yours too one day."

"That's if they accept me. As mayor."

And there it is again.

"Want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head.

"It's just one of those things where until those results are announced, there is nothing I can do one way or the other."

You nod and spend the rest of the day anxiously waiting it out with her.

Moonie and you stand up when you notice the pony in charge of the count steps out. It went on a little longer than expected. The sun has already set and the purple and orange gradient of twilight has stretch over the sky while she steps up on the stage. She clears her throat as she prepares to announce the results. You look at Moonie as she looks to you. She's as nervous as you've ever seen her and yet something in you just feels a confident pride in her. How could you not?

"Uh, the results... The Mayor of Ponyville going forward, with 93% of the vote, Miss Moonie--"

The announcer tries to say congratulations and likely a few more words she was expected to say but is drowned out by the immediate thunderous cheers of Ponyville. Before you're able to say or do anything, Moonie wraps you up in a tight hug. She whispers in your ear, "Thank you." and you tell her congratulations as you hug her back just as tightly.

"Now go celebrate with your people."

You break the hug and push her to the crowd of adoring ponies who immediately swallow her up with their praise and affection. As you stand there alone you notice a few ponies wander over to you to offer conciliatory sentiments. It amuses you mostly because many of them are newer residents to Ponyville.

"I'm not upset," you tell them, "I was hoping she would win. She worked very hard to get here."

One looks at you with complete shock then says "I understand she is your daughter, Mr Anon, but I am still surprised at the outcome. I've heard nothing but good things about you and well... Frankly... With all due respect, she called us peasants. I just don't see how somepony like that could win. Especially by so much."

"Miss Cardia, I believe. You moved here a few months ago, right?" The mare nods, "Have you heard the tale of Nightmare Moon?"

"The old Nightmare Night tale told to scare colts and fillies? Yes, I loved it growing up. Why?"

You chuckle to yourself at how times change so slowly yet so quickly.

"Never mind. Let me say, Moonie has always been this way. A little odd but every word she said up there on that stage, especially the last part, was said with affection in her own way. And her win by such a large margin just goes to show how well she has gotten to know the ponies of this town and how well they have gotten to know her."

It's been a few days since the election and you're sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. Across from you sits Moonie's untouched plate as she steps from her bedroom to the office to grab paper work.

"Moonie... You need to eat."

It takes a few seconds before she steps into the room and shovels a few items into her stomach. As she begins to chew, her eyes meet yours. One unimpressed stare later and Moonie chews a little slower before sitting down at the table.

"Thank you," you mutter behind your mug, "So, what's the plan for today?"

Moonie takes a deep breath to collect herself as she runs through her schedule.

"Uh, well... I have an appointment with Rarity first thing. I heard she wants to expand the boutique so it's probably that, then I'll have to deliver some paperwork to a few ponies around town, put up some posters for a volunteer's charity fundraiser, reports for Canterlot and naturally a formal announcement of results and introductions... though I won't get it all done, I'll need to make a start and... There was something else I'm forgetting..."

"Word of advice from your predecessor." She stares at you with an eerie earnestness, "Hire an assistant, Mayor Moon."

"I recall a certain someone not having one for years," playfully glares Moonie.

"Oh, yes. I used to overwork myself constantly in that job but eventually I had to find a way to keep you out of trouble."

"You mean train a replacement."

You poke your tongue at her. She rolls her eyes dramatically, putting her head into the motion but it's not enough to disguise her grin before she very quickly pokes her tongue back at you. You push Moonie's plate toward her a little to remind her. A warm smile finds its way to your face which causes Moonie to raise a brow in question. The two of you set to eating and once you're both done, Moonie notices your smile hasn't left.

"What's got you so happy?"

"It's nothing," you dismiss it with a wave but then add, "I'm just proud of you."

"Don't be gross," she mocks before taking her last bite.

You laugh then go to take the empty plates but Moonie snatches them both and gives them a rinse.

"Alright, I need to go to work. Are you going to be alright for the day?"

"Of course! I'm not that old," you bark back in a jovial tone to hide the slight affrontment you actually feel.

Moonie steps away to continue collecting her things as you walk out the front door. There, by your small garden, you take a seat and wait. You find yourself feeling pretty clear headed. Though, perhaps from your wizened age, contemplative thoughts rattle around you. Namely you find yourself wondering about Moonie.
She has grown up now. And much of the childish mischief the princesses were worried would blossom back into the evil she once was, is still there. In a way you could say that behaviour is gone. Perhaps better to say it's moulded into something new. Over the years Moonie became less impetuous, self-centred, devilish, and rebellious. None of that meant she stopped being a troublesome trickster, a mischief maker, or the showboat she's always been. You can look back on her past and, with some exceptions, see the clear path into someone compassionate from the cold hearted devil. Sometimes she still is, in small ways, but she has matured well.

"Where is your walking stick?"

At mention of that cursed reminder, you find your pleasant reflection torn asunder.

"Don't need it."

Moonie rolls her eyes then steps back inside. Like she always does. You can hear her hoofsteps hastening as the search continues.

"Where did you put it?" She shouts.

"Oh, I don't know. Somewhere," you answer with a smug grin, "I must be getting forgetful at my age."

You can hear the thumping of the couch being placed back down onto the floor and click your tongue in irritation. Then Moonie appears once more. She places the stick beside your chair then lifts her workload into the air behind her with magic.

"Really?"

She sighs in mild annoyance and you put on your best feigned innocence, knowing full well she can see through it.

"What?"

"Sometimes I wonder whether I used to give you this much grief over whatever I disliked."

"Absolutely, you were very childishly stubborn about it."

"If it was so childish then why do you do it?"

"Privilege of the witheringly old," you laugh.

Moonie pauses then states, "I am older than you."

"Then what was your excuse, Mayor Moon?"

She opens her mouth to reply until you remind her of her mayoral duties. Then she shuts it. Moonie then leans over and gives you a light kiss on the forehead before taking off without anything more than "take care." You watch her go and smile. Part of you wishes she would stay so you could do the old back and forth but you know what she's like.

"Too much like her father, I suppose."

The cold air of the early morning and the spreading warmth of the slowly rising sun have makes the atmosphere a lovely chill day. Dew on the plant life, birds chirping away, fillies and colts eagerly playing with their friends in a nearby park, and the rolling of carts into town as the trade life of Ponyville begins. It's a day just like any other. You smack your lips in a pleasant grin and slide more into your chair.

"I feel like a bit of an early nap, I think."

You close your eyes and think of Moonie going about her day. In your mind you wish her well and give yourself a pat on the back. You've done a good job with her. Your mind wanders to old memories.
To the day you first met, her constant evasion of baths, giving her the stuffed bear that she would lovingly carry around for far longer than you would have ever imagined, siege weapons on Hearth's Warming Eve, teaching her to fish, all the late nights you two would chat under the stars and moon, the times she saved the town, and her declaring herself queen tyrant over and over again.
The memories, even the bad ones, make you so happy that a tear nearly comes to your eye. Nearly. Instead you feel fatigued and then quietly fade away.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading all this time.