The Color of Royalty

by Darkryt Orbinautz

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Drama, Spike
Length: 71604

Spike has a crush on Rarity. But when Rarity claims she's found her true love, Spike is left devastated. In a surprising twist, the one to mend his broken heart may be ... Princess Celestia. Of course, Twilight's not okay with this.

Spike has always been in love with Rarity. But when Rarity announces she's found her one true love, Spike is left devastated. In a surprising twist, the one to mend his broken heart may be Princess Celestia.

This, of course, doesn't sit right with Twilight Sparkle.

But Twilight may put too much focus on Spike that she may not notice a certain Apple mare trying to tell her something very obvious ...

Chapter 5 proofread by Troubleshooter, who does not necessarily support the shippings and views expressed in this story, and given another once-over by Indeliblink.
Chapter 6 and 7 proofread by just Indeliblink.
Remaining chapters proofread by Kuairu.

Published 2014-10-17 04:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-18 19:11:10 UTC

Liquor Is Quicker

Spike stayed behind on the pillow Celestia sat him on. He adjusted and squirmed on it before turning his gaze to the stars. Spike took his finger and played connect the dots with the gaseous balls, millions of miles away from him, creating constellations which would only be known to him and whoever he chose to share them with.

“You know ...” Spike said to himself, resting back on the chair. “I guess maybe I didn't handled that so great, huh?” He winced as the memory of Hayseed screaming “TWERP!” came surging forward from the back of his mind.

It wasn't a real apology, was it? Twilight made him say he was sorry, and in all likeliness, he wouldn't have said it at all were it not for Twilight's insistence on him doing so. What would Rarity think? What would Rarity say?

She'd probably say I should be the bigger colt and accept that I lost, fair and square.

“That settles it.” Spike pushed himself out of his seat. “I'm going to apologize to Hayseed. A real apology this time.”

Spike landed on the floor out from the chair with a noticeable lack of grace. Picking himself up and dusting himself off, Spike whistled and pretended to himself he had done the coolest, most unimaginable spy flip in the world. After all, there were no witnesses present to correct him.

On his way back to the room where he'd left Hayseed, Spike whistled to himself to keep his spirits up. The tuneless noise echoed throughout the empty royal hall, causing Spike to reflect over how large and empty the palace was.

I wonder if Celestia ever gets lonely in here …

Spike, still working on his self-confidence, swung his fists as he walked. He was about to turn in to the room when he heard Twilight's voice, which unnerved him. So instead of going in, he hid behind the doorframe.

“Again, I'm really sorry about this, Hayseed.” He heard Twilight say. “He's not usually like this. I can't wrap my head around what's gotten into him. What was he thinking?”

“Oh, it's no big deal, Twilight.” Hayseed said. Some of his innate Ponyville southerner voice slipped through. “Why, if the horseshoe was on the other hoof, I can't say for sure whether or not I'd do the same as him.”

“Hmm.” Twilight's eyes dropped to the floor. “Maybe you're right. Maybe I was too harsh on him.”

“I'd say you were just harsh enough.” Celestia said, appearing behind Twilight as if by magic. Which wasn't out of the question, given Twilight's ability to teleport and Celestia's seniority over Twilight.

Whoa. How did she do that? Spike thought.

“Harsh enough to make him realize he was wrong while not so harsh as to make him feel worthless.”

“Princess?” Twilight turned to her. “Are you sure? I don't know.”

“Don't know what, my faithful student?”

“I just … I thought I raised him better than that.” Twilight said. “I can't believe he would do something like that.”

“Love ofttimes makes us do strange things.” Celestia said. She glanced towards the door.

Getting the feeling Celestia somehow knew he was there, Spike quit eavesdropping and walked away from the door. He had really let Twilight down this time. Maybe he should go find somewhere to sulk and forget about apologizing. He wondered if maybe he would have been better off joining those dragons bullies he met during the big migration a few years ago.

“Spike?”

Spike turned back at the sound of Celestia's voice.

“Isn't there something you'd like to say to these two?”

Spike sighed and shook his head. “I don't know. You heard what Twilight said in there. I really messed up this time.”

“All the more reason for you to apologize and admit to your mistake.” Celestia said. “I'm sure that would make Twilight very happy.”

“Yeah, maybe you're right ...”

Celestia walked up to Spike and nudged him towards the door with her snout. “Go on.” Spike blushed at Celestia touching him. Celestia's body was quite warm. Spike wondered if it was a simple product of her large body size leading to high body heat or a side-effect of her connection to the sun.

Spike gulped and walked into the room. The gaze of both parties fell on him. Hayseed's was a soft smile, a sort of lukewarm greeting, while Twilight's gaze was displeased and judgmental. Spike could almost hear her asking “Are you proud of yourself?”

“Uh … hey, uh, Hayseed.” Spike walked up to him.

“Hey, Spike.” Hayseed responded in kind.

“I, uh ...” Spike rubbed the back of his neck while he searched for the words he needed. What was he trying to say? “Lovely … weather we're having, isn't it?”

Hayseed looked to Twilight, hoping she would have an explanation for Spike's off-topic sentence. “I guess.”

Spike buried his face in his claw. “Ugh, no, that's not what … look, what I'm trying to say is that I realize what I did to you was wrong, and apologizing while we were all tense and screaming and I had Twilight getting onto me, I … may have not been the most sincere. So to that end, I would like to offer you a real apology. No screaming, no Twilight making me. A one-hundred-percent, real, “I mean it from the bottom of my heart” … I'm sorry.” He offered Hayseed his claw.

“Spike ...” Hayseed took the offer, shaking Spike's claw with his hoof. “I don't think I can ask you for much more than that.”

“Can you?” Spike chuckled. Fearful of being judged, he glanced at Twilight. He could tell something was still bothering her, but for the moment, she gave him a light, small smile.

“Truth be told, I kinda needed that scream.” Hayseed said. “Nice to just let it all out once in awhile, you know?”

“Yeah.” Spike took his claw away from Hayseed and looked at the floor. He put his claws together. “Be good to her for me, Hayseed. Okay?”

Hayseed chuckled and rubbed a hoof on Spike's head, roughing up his scales in a good-natured way, meaning to show all was forgiven. “Don't you worry none, Spike. I will. And hey ...” Hayseed lifted Spike up by the chin. “Don't be so down. There's a Special Somepony waiting out there for you, too.”

“Yeah.” Spike didn't sound as though he believed him. “I guess.” He moved to leave the room, his eyes catching on Celestia again so he could see her one more time before leaving. “Come on, Twilight. I want to go home.”

“Okay.” Twilight joined him and wrapped a hoof around as they walked out. Before they finished leaving the room, Spike looked over his shoulder to see Celestia and Hayseed waving them goodbye. Something overcame him and he couldn't help but wave back. More-so to Celestia than Hayseed.

As Hayseed faded from sight, some of Spike's natural arrogance returned. “So, what do you think, Twilight? Did I do good or what?”

Twilight was amused by him. “Hmm. Yes, you did good to apologize. Don't think I'm going to give you a cookie or anything.”

“Perish the thought.” Spike said with a smile.

“Although … you would have done better if you hadn't lied to Hayseed in the first place.” Twilight said with a sharp, bitter tone, surprising Spike. He stopped, letting Twilight pass him in the hallway as she kept walking. He thought he'd been doing good and making amends. So why was she still upset?

“Spike?” Twilight realized she'd lost track of her dragon and turned around. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Spike shook his head and hustled after her. He was sure it was nothing and Twilight would let the whole thing slide soon enough. It was, after all, in a mother's nature to forgive their children for numerous offenses. Twilight would do as much for him sooner or later … right?

The discontented noise he could hear Twilight making wasn't evidence in favor of such an outcome.

"Hmm ..."

Spike lay awake in his bed, tossing and turning. Twilight's “hmm” had been running through his head the entire carriage ride home. What was it about? Why was she still upset?

“Twilight?” Spike asked from his bed.

Twilight let out a groan to make sure Spike knew she didn't appreciate him waking her up at this late time at night. But when she rolled over to talk to him, Spike could see her eyes were open and she was tired from a long night awake. She wasn't having any better luck getting to sleep than he was. Something must have running through her head as well.

“What is it, Spike?”

“Are you … still mad at me?”

Twilight gave him a look of “Really? You want to ask this now?” with an invisible hoof pointing to the clock to show how late at night it was. She sighed and answered his question. “Yes. No. A little bit. Honestly, Spike … I'm more mad at myself.”

“Oh.” Hearing this made Spike happy. “Okay. Good night.” Knowing Twilight wasn't quite as mad with him as he thought did wonders for Spike's peace of mind. He was certain he could go to sleep now. He didn't even think to ask why Twilight was mad at herself until after she rolled away from him.

“”Just harsh enough.”” Twilight said, confirming Spike's suspicion about something bothering her as well. He would not be the only one having an internal monologue tonight. “What did she mean by that? I mean, she explained it to me and I still don't know what it means ...”

Spike did his best to push Twilight's worrying out of his ears. He knew how Twilight could get wrapped up when she was trying to solve a puzzle and refused to let it rob him of sleep tonight. Scrunching his eyes extra-tight to force sleep to come to him, his thoughts strayed back to Rarity and Hayseed.

It's just a phase. He told himself. Like Blue Blood or Trenderhoof. She'll come back to me.

He thought back to earlier, when Celestia came out and comforted her. She'd been so warm, so thoughtful with him. Even though he hadn't done much to deserve it. He rolled around in his bed, trying to get his thoughts back to Rarity and how he would win her heart over Hayseed.

There's got to be something ... his mind created an image of Rarity and Hayseed kissing.

"No!" He bolted upright. Twilight grumbled behind him.

"Heh." Spike pulled his covers up and tried to think about Rarity again. But it hurt. It hurt to think about Rarity. She seemed so happy with Hayseed, and Hayseed was happy with her.

What do I do? Spike thought. How I am going to win her over? Once again, his thoughts flashed back to Celestia.

Will you go away? Spike swatted at the air, thinking it would somehow disperse his thoughts of the Princess. The kind, caring, beautiful Princess ...

Rarity is the only Princess for me ... isn't she? Celestia was quite beautiful and she had been so kind to him ...

No. No. I still love Rarity ... right? So why am I thinking about Celestia so much?

Spike drifted off to sleep at last, though whether it was a good sleep was open to debate. He had a dream.

In the dream, he was with Rarity at someplace romantic, with both of them dressed in something romantic. Spike, a tuxedo and hat, Rarity a curly magenta evening dress. The one she wore to galas and other formal events.

“R-Rarity?” Spike asked, unable to believe she was here. With him, at last, the way it was meant to be. “A-are you here f-for me? Did you breakup with Hayseed?”

Wearing an amused smile as if laughing at his puppy love, Rarity shook her head.

“N-no?” Spike stammered. “But – but if you're not broken up with Hayseed, why are you here?”

Rarity shrugged. It was almost as if she developed an aversion to using words. Her body gave a shiver and a rattle. Her teeth wriggled and her body shook before it began to stretch and grow. Her legs extended from beyond her dress, her hooves getting taller and thicker. Her tail became longer and her stylized mane lost its curls and dropped to the side of her head as her body grew in size. The dress grew with her, changing from reddish-purple to blue. Her horn stretched out and her snout contorted. Giving a shudder, she closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were no longer Rarity's dazzling blue eyes, but Celestia's wise purple ones.

“Princess Celestia?” Spike asked, so, so confused about what was going on. “What are you doing here?”

Celestia gave him a smile, not answering his question. She bent her knees to bring herself closer to ground-level with him, inching closer and closer until her snout was centimeters away from his face. Spike blushed, which was all the invitation Celestia needed to close in and give him a kiss on the nose.

Spike woke up and bolted upright, trying to uncover the hidden meaning to his dream. If there were such a thing as hidden meanings to dreams.

“I ...” Spike had never imagined, never dreamed, never so much as contemplated a future where he and Rarity weren't together. So the realization he made horrified him at first, but over a period of several minutes he learned to make peace with it. “I guess I'm in love with Princess Celestia.”

The next morning, Twilight was awoken by the sounds of clanging pots and sticky substances sticking to those pots. At most times of day, the splotch noise made as pancake batter was poured and flipped would be nothing, or even cause for celebration, but there was always something about waking up in the morning which made every sound seem as if were ten times louder than it was in reality and going out of its way to give her a migraine. Despite those noises being harmless sounds with no intentions of their own.

“Uuugh ...” Twilight tossed her blankets and rolled a hoof to get her mane's frazzled bedhead under control.

“Hi, Twilight!” Spike entered the room, carrying a platter of pancakes and wearing chef's apparel. “I made pancakes.”

“I can see that.” Twilight said with a chuckle and smile. She blew at her hair bangs covering her eyes, but they fell back down. “Ugh. Fine. I'll get it when I brush.”

“Here.” Spike handed Twilight the platter. “These ones are for you.”

“Breakfast in bed. Awesome.” Twilight levitated a fork with her magic and cut off a bite from the pancake stack. “I know when you make pancakes, Spike, they turn out delicious ...” Twilight levitated the fork towards her mouth to partake in the gooey, fluffy goodness, but stopped. “I also know you well enough to know you don't serve me breakfast in bed unless it's a holiday … or you want something.”

“Want something?” Spike balanced on his feet. “Psshaw. What would make you think that?”

Being so soon into the morning did nothing to inhibit Twilight's ability to give Spike an irritated look which made it clear she wasn't in the mood for games.

“Okay.” Spike conceded defeat to Twilight's look. “I want you to invite Princess Celestia over today.”

“Princess Celestia?” Twilight took a bite of pancake and laughed. “We just saw her last night. What's so important it can't wait until the next time we see her?”

“I want to ask her on a date.”

Twilight's eyes widened to the size of fried eggs and her lips gave Spike nothing but silence. Spike tapped his foot, exercising patience with Twilight's need to process his request.

Twilight burst into laughter and fell back onto her bed, her hooves spread over the side. “AAH HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! AAAH – HA HA HA … Ah-ha ... ha ha ha … ha?” Twilight became confused when she saw Spike's impatient glare.

“You're serious.” Twilight realized. “You want to ask Princess Celestia, a pony who is also my mentor, as a good as a grandmother to you, who has lived hundreds of years and is no doubt busy with ruling Equestria … on a date.”

“Yup.” Spike patted the spatula against his claw. “It's nothing. It's just … she was really nice to me last night and -”

"Oh no." Twilight closed her eyes and rubbed her temples as if she were fighting off a headache. "No no no no no. I see what's going on here. You're still smarting from the fact Rarity is with Hayseed. Celestia comforted you when you were feeling vulnerable and you can't tell what you're feeling is appreciation, not love, so now you're trying to use Celestia as a rebound relationship. Well, I'm sorry, Spike, but I'm not going to support this."

Spike got angry and stomped his foot. “Well, why not?”

“Because.” Twilight snapped back. “Trying to date Princess Celestia is a bad idea. There are a number of things that could go wrong and ... I don't want to see you get hurt.”

“Fine.” Spike reached to take away Twilight's platter of pancakes from her. He had given them to her to soften her up for his request, but if she was going to say no, he saw no point in letting her keep them.

“Oh no.” Twilight's grabbed the platter with her magic. “You gave these to me of your own free will. It's not my fault your plan to bribe me didn't go like you wanted.” Twilight and Spike wrestled for control of the platter before Twilight's magic emerged victorious, jerking the platter out of Spike's hand and levitating into the air.

Spike huffed and glared, his face turning red. Any minute now, steam was going to blow out of his ears in the tradition of old cartoons. He stomped over to the door and shot a dirty look at Twilight.

“No, I'm not.” Spike said in relation to the idea he was trying to rebound with the Princess. Hunched over in rage, he stomped out of the room. “I'm not!”

Twilight crossed her legs, mad at him but content she won the tug-o-war. She noticed the pancake stack sliding off the platter and grimaced as she tried and succeeded in catching the pancakes with her magic before they hit the floor. She levitated them back onto the platter before placing the platter down in her lap and taking out a big bite.

Applejack cracked open the door and took a ginger step inside, letting herself in to the Carosel Boutique. She was greeted by Rarity's giggling.

“Oh ho ho! I must say, Hayseed, you are a delight.” Rarity said, laughing at something he said and placing a hoof on him.

“What can I say? I try.” Hayseed said before they both noticed Applejack standing in the door.

“Ah'm sorry.” Applejack inched away, bringing the door closer to being shut. “Ah didn't realize y'all would be hanging out with Hayseed so early in the mornin'. Ah'll just come back later ...”

“No, no.” Rarity said. “It's quite alright, darling. Why don't you come in?”

Applejack stopped moving the door. “Are ya sure?”

“I insist.”

Applejack stepped inside and closed the door, though on the opposite of the door she expected to be on.

“So, Applejack, may I ask what prompted this unexpected visit?” Rarity asked.

Applejack crossed her legs and scuffed her hoof against the floor. She gave a guilty look to the floor before looking up to Rarity.

Rarity got the message. Applejack's words were as an invisible typewriter, perceived only by the select few who shared its secrets with each other. Rarity was one of those select few. “Hayseed, would you mind too terribly much if I asked you to give us a moment?”

“Not at all.” Hayseed was gracious in how he handled this request. “I understand some things remain between ladies. I'll just go to the kitchen, if you don't mind.”

“That would be excellent, darling. Thank you.” Rarity nodded her head to Hayseed as the stallion went into the kitchen. “Isn't he a gentleman?”

“Yeah.” Applejack said. “Must be nice, having a coltfriend like that.”

“Oh, hush, Applejack. There's no need to be jealous just because you're having trouble confessing to Twilight.” Rarity walked up to Applejack. “That is what you're here for, is it not?”

Applejack sighed and pulled her hat down over her face in embarrassment. “Yeah. Ah can't take it anymore, Rarity. Big Macintosh is gettin' onto my case. Ah ... Ah plumb don't know what to do. Ah can't tell her.”

“Why not?”

“Ah just can't.” Applejack said. “Ah should have known you of all ponies wouldn't understand. Y'all have never had any trouble letting all the colts know when you were attracted to them.”

Rarity giggled, thinking of flirtatious times gone by, which would not be repeated now she was with Hayseed. “Yes, I suppose that's true. Now come.” Rarity put a hoof on Applejack's back. “I think I know just the thing ...” Rarity got behind Applejack and pushed her, steering her into the wine cellar.

“Isn't kinda early in the mornin' for this? And Ah thought y'all said y'all were gonna stop enablin' me?” Applejack asked.

“I did, didn't I?” Rarity said with a playful voice, the kind parents use when surprised by their toddlers. “But are you really going to complain, darling?”

Applejack's shifted her hat and sat down on her haunches, preventing Rarity from pushing her any further. “All right, Rarity, what's yer game here?”

“Game?” Rarity levitated out two wineglasses from a secret compartment. “Why, whatever do you mean, darling?”

“Y'all know exactly what I mean.” Applejack said.

Rarity returned Applejack's accusation with an airy laugh. “I'm afraid I haven't the foggiest of what you're talking about, darling. Here.” Blue glows lighting up the room, Rarity pulled out a bottle of champagne, opened it, poured it into the glass and levitated the glass to Applejack. “Drink up.”

“Hmm.” Applejack took the cup in her hooves, regarding it with an amount of suspicion. She wondered if Rarity perhaps drugged it.

“Come now, darling.” Rarity poured herself a cup and sipped from it. “You're not really going to let this opportunity to drink without being judged pass you by, are you?”

Applejack looked into the cup. She noticed her murky reflection in the dark-green liquid. “Ah guess not.” Applejack took a swig.

“There you go.” Rarity said, encouraging Applejack in the most gentle of voices. “Oh, but there's one thing, Applejack. You sip champagne, you don't do … this.” Rarity mimed lifting the cup into the air and dumping all of its contents into her mouth at once. “I mean, it's not cider.”

Rarity realized she pushed a button when Applejack raised her eyebrow. “Y'all tryin' to tell me there's somethin' wrong with my family's cider?”

“Er, no!” Rarity grimaced. Drat, I'm losing her. “I merely meant the rules are different for each kind of alcohol. You wouldn't serve your cider at the Grand Galloping Gala, would you? Here, why don't you have another drink?” Rarity accompanied word to deed and topped off Applejack's glass.

“You know, Rarity, if Ah didn't know better, Ah'd say ya were tryin' to pull somethin'.” Applejack said, taking another sip. “But Ah know you wouldn't do that, because our friends might get upset … right?”

“Er, right.” Rarity said, averting her eyes from Applejack. “How about a toast, darling?”

“A toast? To what?”

“Er … to us!” Rarity waved her glass around, swishing the liquid around and spilling on the floor. “To this little hideout of ours. To the two of us, two ponies who learned to overcome our differences to become good friends, meeting in secret where we can discuss what we wish.”

Applejack shrugged. “Suppose Ah can't argue with that. To us!”

“To us!” Rarity levitated her glass against Applejack's, clinking them together. Rarity sipped her glass in a conspicuous, conservative manner, as if she was trying to mask the fact she wasn't drinking much while encouraging Applejack to drink more.

It took some time and a lot of coaxing, but Rarity managed to Applejack to where she wanted – drunk and with loose inhibitions. When Applejack began to laugh at things which weren't funny, Rarity knew she was in the clear.

“What-what'sh the deal with Parasprites, anyway?” Applejack asked. “Don't contribute to the environment or nuthin' … they're jusht pests. PESTS!” Applejack flailed her hooves. “Pest. Pest. Pest. Shounds less like a word the more ya say it. Say, y'all ever notice how that happens to every word? No matter what it is, shay enough times and it'll stop sounding like a word. Like … like lice or trees or “Cutie Mark.” Watch. Cutie Mark Cutie Mark Cutie Mark Cutie Mark … see? It shtops sounding like a real word!”

“What about “love”?” Rarity asked, taking a coy sip of her drink. “Does that stop sounding like a real word?”

At the mention of love, Applejack's eyes unfocused. “Love … love love love love-y lovely loving lovers lovely loving in the lovely trees … trees full o' books like Twilight's library … shorry, Ah got off-topic. What were we talking about?”

“Oh, nothing.” Rarity lied. “Just about you and your crush on Twilight, if it can be called that. I think it's something much more. An infatuation, perhaps?”

Applejack blinked, struggling to focus. “Now you listen here, you varmint ...” Applejack wobbled and toppled over. Rarity caught Applejack's glass with her magic before it hit the floor, preventing a mess. “Ah may be drunk as a pig in a pickle barrel, but Ah know we were not talkin' 'bout Twilight a minute ago.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Rarity admired her reflection in the glass. “Seems to me like you have a problem that needs discussing.”

Applejack pushed herself off the floor. “Ah do not have a problem! Aside from, y'know, the whole “can't tell my best friend Ah'm in love with so Ah turn to alcohol for my problems” thing … but other than that, Ah am as problem-free as a – as a – what'sh a good thing that'sh problem free?”

“Darling, if you would just tell her how you feel -”

“CHOCOLATE-COVERED PEANUT BUTTER!” Applejack shouted with surreptitious timing to interrupt Rarity. “That'sh a good thing that'sh problem-free. No, wait, chocolate's got sugar in it, doesn't it?”

“Darling, explain to me why you're so set against the idea of telling Twilight how you really feel.”

“Ah told you ...” Applejack couldn't hide her irritation. “Ah told you, Ah told you it'sh because she's a Princess now!” Applejack grabbed onto a shelf to support her wobbling legs. “A Princess!” She said in a whispered voice.

“Is that really what you're afraid of, Applejack?” Rarity said.

“Yeshh. Yesh. Yes.” Applejack tried three times before she worked the slur off.

“Funny.” Rarity said. “Twilight was still a noble when she first came to Ponyville. I don't remember you having any trouble speaking to her then.”

“Y-yeah.” Applejack tightened her grip on the wooden shelf.

“I can't see Twilight using class division as an excuse not to love somepony. Especially not somepony she's already close to.” Rarity admired her reflection in the wineglass. “I might, maybe, but I'm shallow like that. What do you think she would say, Applejack? “I'm flattered you have feelings for me, but I can't date you because I'm a Princess and you're a farmer”?”

“Yes.” Applejack whimpered, curling up into a ball on the floor. “That's exactly what she would say.”

“Nooo.” Rarity said. “I think you and I both know that's not true.”

“It's just … she's a Princess.” Applejack repeated, parroting herself from earlier. “What happens if Ah tell her and we hit it off? Will we get married? Will that mean Ah get to be a Princess, too? Ah don't want to deal with all that royal nonsense. Ah don't – Ah don't want Celestia to use me as a royal decoration like she does Twilight.”

Rarity stifled back a giggle.

“Well, it's true!” Applejack said. “Puts Twilight up somewhere she can wave at Maretonians or Saddle Ara – Arrow – Arabians so they can feel good about themselves.”

“I suppose that's a fair argument.” Rarity said. “I would certainly love to lead the life of a princess, but I understand it's not for everyone. However ...”

Rarity walked up to Applejack, planting a hoof a slight distance away from Applejack's face.

“I'm not convinced. I still don't think that's the real reason.”

“It is!” Applejack insisted, looking up at Rarity. “It's because she's a Princess. That's my story and Ah'm stickin' to it.”

“No, for some reason I still don't believe you, Applejack.” Rarity said, causing Applejack to roll over onto her belly.

“Now what do y'all mean -”

“I think you're using Twilight's status as a Princess as an excuse.” Rarity said. “A shield to hide behind so you don't have to confront your true feelings.”

Applejack's ears flopped down and a tear escaped her eye. “S-shut up.”

This did nothing but motivate Rarity to keep going. “While I may believe you have reservations about living the life of a royal, I think you could learn to adjust, as Twilight has.”

“Shut up.”

“You're not afraid of the fact Twilight's a princess, or the life you might live ...”

“Shut up.”

“I think the only thing you're afraid of, Applejack … is rejection. Isn't it, Applejack?”

“SHUT UP!” Rarity was saying things Applejack did not want to hear, so Applejack figured maybe if she plugged her ears and shouted loud enough, Rarity would stop and it would go away. “JUST SHUT UP!” The tear Applejack let out a minute ago was soon joined by its fellows as Applejack gave in to the urge to cry. To cry it all out. By far the most painful part was the fact Rarity was right about all of it, hitting the stupid nail right smack-dab on its stupid head.

Rarity stood over her, as imperious and unflinching as the moon. The pearl moon, which Applejack spent so many nights standing under, longing to reach it – to reach Twilight – but never getting anywhere close to either.

“Isn't it?” Rarity asked again.

Applejack sniffed and wiped away a tear. She nodded. “Uh-huh.” Applejack raised up the front half of her body. “It's just … what if she says no? Will Ah live? Will Ah be so heartbroken Ah can't work on the farm anymore? It'll make things awkward between us. Between me and her. Between me, her, and you and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie -”

Rarity put a hoof to Applejack's mouth, silencing her.

“Darling … that's all the more reason to tell her. If she does say no, and it does make things awkward … well, then the sooner we can start on working through the awkward phase and move on with the rest of our lives. But whatever happens, you can't go on living like this anymore. Agreed?”

Rarity's hoof still to her mouth, Applejack nodded.

“Good.” Rarity removed her hoof. “Now, why don't you wait long enough for the alcohol to wear off and then go over to Twilight's house and tell her how you feel?”

Applejack, although shaky, got to her hooves and wiped away another tear. “Okay.”

“Excellent.”

Applejack began limping towards the exit of the cellar. She stopped and turned around.

“Y'all got me drunk … so y'all could get me to admit what it is Ah'm really afraid of and convince me to go tell Twilight.” Applejack said.

“So I did.” Rarity put the champagne bottle away, sounding proud of herself.

“You … manipulative … little ...”

“Now, now.” Rarity waved her hoof. “You need to rest up before you confess to Twilight.”

Applejack humphed and walked closer to the exit. Hesitating, she stopped again.

“Rarity?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks. Ah needed that.”

“Anytime, darling.”

Twilight came from upstairs. The first thing she noticed was the smell of pancakes lingered in the air. Going down, she saw Spike had made more pancakes – these ones were for him, as they were encrusted with sapphires.

Twilight saw a plate on the table and realized Spike had leftovers. Another thing she saw was Spike writing on the table.

“So you're still here.” Twilight said. “Funny. I thought, after the way you stormed out, you would be over at Sugarcube Corner by now.”

“Nah.” Spike said. “I was pretty mad, but I decided to stay and finish my own pancakes. And I think I've managed to work up a pretty convincing argument for letting me ask Celestia on date, if I say so myself.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Still on that train, huh? Spike, I doubt there's anything you could say that could make me change my mind about this. Celestia is at least nine-hundred-and-seventy years older than you are … and that's being generous.”

“Aw, c'mon, Twilight! She's not that old.”

“I'm sorry. I wasn't clear. That was being generous to you.”

“Okay, okay, but hear me out.” Spike said. “Since she is the Princess, and if she is as old as you say ...” Twilight facehooved. All the history books reported Celestia as being one-thousand years old, if not more. “Then if I ask her on date, she'll probably say no, right? “Oh, Spike, you're such a handsome and generous dragon, but I'm too old for you,” “I would love to Spike, but I have a country to run,” that sort of thing, right?”

Twilight's eyes could not roll fast enough for the amount of rolling Spike's imagined responses warranted. “For the sake of argument, let's do the crazy thing and pretend you're right. Where are you going with this?”

“I want you ...” Spike held up a parchment. “To let me send a letter asking the Princess to come over so I can ask her on a date. If she says yes, I go on a date with her. If she says no, I'll never bring it up again and we can forget this whole silly business.” Spike held his claw to
Twilight. “Do we have a deal?”

“Hold on. Why send her a letter asking to come here? Why not just ask her in the letter?”

“Come on, Twilight. Everyone knows asking for a date is something you do in person.”

Twilight stared at his claw, weighing the pros and cons of agreeing to his terms. “Deal.”

Twilight grabbed Spike's claw with frightening force.

“If – when she says no, you will never bring it up again.” Twilight said, making clear her intent to see Spike live up to his word. “Understand?”

Spike nodded. “Understood. Now please let go of my claw. I think it's going numb.”

Twilight's glaring at Spike was interrupted only because of a knock on the door. Were it not for the surprise visitor, Twilight would have stood there watching until the break of dawn the next day. Spike, meanwhile, scribbled out his letter and blew fire on it, turning into trans-dimensional ashes which would travel to Celestia.

“Oh, Applejack!” Twilight was surprised to see. “What are you doing here? Need some help with the farm?”

“Heh, not today, Twilight.” Applejack's smile was nervous and forced, though Twilight appeared not to pick up on it. “Can Ah come in?”

“Of course.” Twilight moved to allow Applejack in. She closed the door. “Can I get you something? Water? Orange juice? Sorry, but we don't have any cider in storage.”

“Uh, no, Ah'm good.” Applejack said. “The reason I came here Twilight, is because … Ah've been meanin' to tell ya somethin'.”

Twilight grew concerned. “What is it?”

“Ah -” Applejack was cut off by a whoosh of fire crackling forth from the next room. “What was that?”

“Oh, nothing. It's just Spike.” Twilight said.

“Whoo-hoo!” Spike hopped into the room, holding a scroll up over his head. “That was Princess Celestia's response! She agreed to fly over and visit as soon she could!”

Hearing Celestia was going to be here caused Applejack to lose her nerve. Celestia was akin to a mother to Twilight, and if Applejack tried to make a move on Twilight while her mother-figure was here .. well, Applejack knew what she would do if somepony tried to confess their love to Apple Bloom while she was present. Hint: It would involve either Big Macintosh, a baseball bat, or a combination of the two.

“You were saying, Applejack?”

“Huh? Oh, it's nothing.” Applejack said. “Yup. Nothing at all.”

“Applejack, if you have something to say, say it.” Twilight put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. “I'm your friend. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Oh, Ah wish it were that simple, Twi …

“Is it about Celestia coming over?” Twilight asked. “Because I assure you, as a Princess, she's going to have a lot of royal affairs to cover before she can even think about coming-”

There was a loud knock on the door. “Twilight Sparkle! Spike! I'm here!” shouted Celestia's warm voice.

“Here.” Twilight finished before answering the door. “Princess.” Twilight and Celestia greeted each with mutual bows. “What are you doing here?”

“Why, I'm answering Spike's summons, of course.” Celestia said. “May I come in?”

“You-you're the Princess of Equestria.” Twilight gestured for Celestia to enter. “Do you really need to ask?”

“Mmm, perhaps not, but it's rude to just barge in to a pony's home, don't you think?” Celestia said as she walked in. “Now, where's Spike?”

“Right here, milady.” Spike said, running up to her.

“I believe you wanted to see me for something, Spike?” Celestia asked.

“Yes.” Spike bowed. He cleared his throat. “My Dearest Princess Celestia … although it has taken me some time to age and mature to the point where I could see it, I can no longer it the fact you are a breath-taking, beautiful pony. Your mane flows like the North Wind of myth. Your every footstep is a dance to behold. Your -”

Twilight cleared her throat, moving her hoof across her neck in a cutting gesture to have Spike cut his long speech short. Celestia appeared to be enjoying the compliments with some amusement.

“Ah have no idea what's goin' on.” Applejack said. “Twilight, can you explain?”

“In a minute. Just wait for them to finish and I'll explain everything.” Twilight whispered.

“Ahem. Dear Princess Celestia ...”

Spike pulled out a bouquet of flowers and got down on one knee, offering it to Celestia.

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

Celestia's smile faltered and faded. Her eye twitched. Her breathing got heavy and water filled her eyes. Tears falling down her cheeks, Celestia bolted through the building for the first door outside she could find, leaving everypony in stunned silence.

Twilight blinked, her mind on the verge of a complete shutdown. “What just happened?”

“Well, Ah'd say Princess Celestia ran off in tears is what.” Applejack said. “Even though Ah know that can't be right … can it?”

“Applejack, Princess Celestia does not run off in tears.” Twilight said. “I run off in tears. You run off in tears. Spike runs off in tears. Princess Celestia of Equestria does not run off in tears.”

“Are ya sure? Because that's sure seems like what happened.”

Twilight leaned into Applejack, making Applejack blush, thought not for the reasons Twilight thought. Twilight figured it was because they were too close together. “Yes, I'm sure. Spike must have done something. Spike, what did you do? Spike? … Spike! Where he did go?”

“Ah, uh ...” Applejack was still distracted by her closeness to Twilight. “Think Ah saw him go after the Princess.”

Princess Celestia stood on the balcony, looking up at the clouds in the sky and sniffling.

“Princess?” Spike came out to join her. “Is … everything okay?”

Celestia took her hoof and wiped it across her face. “Y-yes. Everything's fine.” She looked away from Spike. Spike sat down next to her and patted her on the leg.

“Funny.” Celestia said. “How fast the winds of fate blow us around again, for if I recall correctly, I was comforting you on a balcony not too long ago.”

Spike chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah ...” He looked away and scratched his head. “So, um … you want to explain what that was all about?”

The Princess smiled. “I suppose I owe you that much. You are … not the first drake to offer me flowers, Spike. In fact, the pose you took while offering those flowers was the same one he took when he asked me on our first date. A coincidence, I'm sure, but still … that doesn't make the memory any less painful.”

“Oh.”

“Needless to say, it didn't work out between us.” Celestia said.

“Oh, okay.” Spike patted her again and hugged her leg, nuzzling up against her. “I guess I can't blame you for running away like that, then. I guess it was silly to try to ask you on a date anyway.”

“Not at all, Spike. My mistakes are mine, and you shouldn't be faulted for them. It would not be fair of me to turn you down simply because he was a mess.”

“Maybe Twilight was right.” Spike said, not hearing the Princess.

“Yes.”

“This was all a stupid idea – wait, what did you say?” Spike shook his head, not sure he heard the Princess right.

Princess Celestia turned to him with a smile.

“Yes, Spike the Dragon. I, Princess Celestia, will go out on a date with you.”

Date Night

Neither Spike nor Celestia noticed Twilight Sparkle standing in the door with her jaw dropped.

“What?”

Celestia looked to her. “I've agreed to go on a date with Spike. Simple as that, Twilight.”

“You can't go on a date with Spike!” Twilight waved her hoof. “He's like, one one-thousandth of your age!”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Twilight Sparkle, when you get to be as long-lived as I have, certain things about your potential romantic partners no longer matter to you … you know, petty things like their social standing and class, like their physical gender … mental gender … species … age.”

“No. No, stop.” Twilight held a hoof out for her to stop, thinking Celestia's list was creepy.. “I don't want to hear whatever excuse you have. You cannot date Spike!”

“I can and I will.” Celestia said. “Besides, it's just one tiny date out of curiosity and courtesy to Spike. What harm could it do?”

“N-no! I forbid it!” Twilight insisted, stomping her hoof.

“Twilight Sparkle, you do not have the authority to tell me what I can and cannot do.”

“True. But Princess, can't you see what's happening? He's using you! He's trying to rebound from Rarity after she's gotten with Hayseed!”
“Enough. I am going on a date with Spike, Twilight Sparkle, and that is final. Relax. It's just one date.”

“Thank you.” Spike smiled, though Twilight's objections embarrassed him.

“So, does later tonight work for you, Spike?” Celestia asked.

“Later tonight?” Spike was taken aback. He didn't expect Celestia to ask for a time so … soon. “Uh, yeah, sure! I can make that work.”

“It's a date! I know a great restaurant in Ponyville. I'll take you there.” Celestia said.

“He was the one that asked you.” Twilight said. Twilight said. If she couldn't stop the date, she might as well as least remind them of proper dating convention. “Don't the rules of dating say he should be the one to take you to a restaurant?”

“Oh, hush, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia said. “A little role reversal never hurt anypony. Well, unless that pony's name was “Star Swirl” and he's trading places with the Princess of the Sun for a bet. Boy, was that was ever a mess! Let me you tell about it sometime.” Celestia cast her gaze toward Canterlot. “Well, I'd best be getting back to Canterlot. I asked Luna to cover for me while I came over for this visit, but I can't expect her to hold on forever. I'll see you later tonight?” She turned to Spike.

Spike nodded.

Celestia smiled, spread her wings, and took to the air.

Spike smiled and blushed. He couldn't believe it. He was going on a date with the Princess - tonight! He'd had better get ready.

He put a good foot forward and turned to enter the library to shower and pretty himself up, but he froze when he saw Twilight Sparkle standing the doorway, glaring at him with her front legs crossed.

“Hrmm.” Twilight let out a frustrated grunt before turning and going inside.

Spike rubbed the back of his head. He could tell he had touched a nerve. He realized now, as long as he was committed to this date with Celestia, he would have to walk with a careful tread around Twilight.

At the Carousel Boutique, Rarity and Hayseed were dancing in the afternoon, enjoying each others' company. They spun around in circles around the room, their front hooves on the others' shoulders to keep them steady and hold them close.

“Isn't this nice?” Rarity asked. “Just the two of us together … alone with no pony but each other.”

“Uh, yeah.” Hayseed grimaced and looked at the floor.

“Hayseed, what's wrong? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“It's nothing. Just… have you, uh, have you talked to Spike lately? You know, since you made the big announcement about us being together?”

“Spike?” Rarity was surprised. “No, I don't think I have. Why?”

“Well, it's just … I know you two were close before I came along.” Hayseed said. “I wouldn't want my presence here to get in the way of that.”

“Why would you think your presence would get in the way of me being friends with Spike?” Rarity asked.

Hayseed turned away. He could tell Rarity about Spike – about his crush. About the lying and deception. But he wouldn't. He liked to think of himself as a nice guy. When Spike was ready to face his reckoning, Hayseed would be there to see it. But he wasn't going to force the issue early. The last thing he wanted to do was to tarnish Spike in Rarity's eyes. Even if he might have been a little deserving of it, but Hayseed still thought of himself as a relative stranger, and he wouldn't appreciate a stranger telling him about the less moral side of a close friend of his.

“No reason.” Hayseed's voice slipped into a country drawl. “No reason at all.” Hayseed's eyes widened when he heard his voice and realized his slip.

Rarity giggled, covering her mouth. “That's funny. For a moment there, I thought you sounded like … like Applejack.”

“I ...” Hayseed stammered. “That's because I did. When I was in Canterlot, buildin' up my business, I learned how to speak like all those fancy folks. You know, so I could … get y'all to love me, what with you bein' a fancy pony and all ...”

“Oh ... Hayseed.”

Rarity wrapped a leg around Hayseed and bent him over her leg. Hayseed was unprepared as Rarity turned their dance from a slow waltz to a sudden tango.

“How shallow do you think I am?” Rarity asked. “I'm more than just a pretty face. Did you think you having a country accent would make me unable to love you? I mean, I do know you grew up in Ponyville, after all. Just like me.”

“Well, I ...”

“Besides, do you think if I was willing to let a little thing like accents dictate who I choose to spend my company with, I could be such good friends with Applejack? If I can look past that for her, I'm sure I can do the same for you.”

“I just … I just wanted to be the stallion you were looking for.” Hayseed said, managing to recover back into his Canterlot voice.

“Hayseed … I want there to be no secrets between us. No masks. No lies.”

Rarity ran her hoof across Hayseed's chins.

“Speak to me in your country accent, Hayseed. Let me hear your real voice.”

Hayseed was about to speak up when there was a knock at the door.

“Oh, honestly!” Rarity complained. “Doesn't whoever is out there realize we're in the middle of a private moment?”

“Rarity?” came from the other side of the door. “Are ya there? It's Applejack. I want to talk.”

“Oh my.” Rarity said. “Well, that changes things. Do you mind if I ...” Looking to Hayseed, Rarity pointed at the door.

Hayseed shook his head. “Not at all.”

“Come in, Applejack!”

Applejack inched open the door. “Thanks, Rarity. I really appreciate y'all … am I interruptin' something?” She noticed Hayseed thrown back across Rarity's grasp.

“No, no, it's fine.” Rarity told Applejack as she helped Hayseed get to his hooves. “We can always pick up where we left off later. What did you want to talk about, Applejack?”

“The same thing as the last time.” Applejack looked at the ground, disheartened. “The same thing as every other time. The same thing it will continue to be, for the next few days, and the few days after that, and the next few days after that, until we do it the whole year round ...”

“Oh, don't speak like that, Applejack.” Rarity approached Applejack and put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. “We'll figure something out.”

“Figure what out?” Hayseed asked.

Rarity looked to Applejack. “Do you mind if I tell him?”

“Eh, I doubt I'll be seeing you two separately from now on, so might as well.”

“Applejack has got just the worst crush on Twilight Sparkle.” Rarity explained. “Twilight Sparkle being one of her best friends, not to mention a Princess, you can see how she might have some … issues about it.”

Hayseed nodded. “Indeed. Don't worry, Applejack, I know what your goin' through.” Hayseed placed a hoof on Rarity. “I used to think Rarity was completely out of my league. But then I went for it, and now we're both happy.” To prove his point, Hayseed engaged Rarity in a nose-to-nose nuzzle.

“I see what your sayin', Hayseed, but this is still different. Rarity didn't have the authority to legally order y'all to be executed if she didn't like what y'all had to say ...”

“Oh, come now, Applejack. Do you really believe Twilight would do something like that?”

“Probably not.” Applejack admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “But still, there's always the fear of something like that happening, ya know?”

“Well, Hayseed and I are perfectly happy with each other.” Rarity said, pulling Hayseed close and embracing him. “I can't imagine why you and Twilight couldn't be the same way. In fact, later tonight, he and I are going to go this fancy restaurant on the south end of town ...”

Rarity paused. Her eyes shrunk. With a slow crawl, a smile crept upon her face.

“Uh, Rarity? Are y'all okay? Y'all got this … look on your face like Rainbow Dash gets when she's about to do something stupid.”

“I … have just had a brilliant idea!” Rarity exclaimed. “You and Twilight Sparkle should come with us!”

Hayseed and Applejack both raised eyebrows.

“Beg your pardon?” Applejack asked.

“Hayseed and I will take you and Twilight to the restaurant with us! And while there, you can open your heart out to Twilight and woo her to both your hearts' content! It'll be just like a double date!”

Hayseed was willing to go along with it, thinking it was a good idea – he might never have found Rarity if he wasn't in the right place for it.

Applejack felt otherwise. “Rarity, I'm not so sure that's such a good idea ...”

“Oh, nonsense.” Rarity said. “I won't take no for an answer. It'll be great, you'll see. Just you wait. I promise you, Applejack, it will be magical.”

Later, long after night had fallen on Ponyville, Rarity and Hayseed stood outside the entrance to the restaurant of their choosing.

Rarity tapped her hooves on the ground. She looked around for Applejack. “Where is she? She should have been here by now ...”

“Now, now.” Hayseed said in a gentle voice. “She did seem a little uncomfortable with this whole thing, Rarity. She could very well not show up.”

“But she has to!”

“Rarity, you should know you can't control what Applejack or any other pony decides to do. Are you so sure you know what's best for Applejack?”

Rarity gave him a disbelieving look, offended he would even consider asking such a question.

“It's for her own good, Hayseed. Trust me, she needs this.” Rarity looked off into the distance. “You haven't seen her wasting away like I have, trying to drown out her problems with a bottle, rotting and pining for somepony so close, and yet so far away ...”

Hayseed looked to the ground. He wanted to comfort Rarity, console her, but he wasn't sure what to say.

“Ah, look … maybe Twilight's just being difficult, okay?” Hayseed raised his head up. “Look.” He pointed. “There they are.”

Applejack and Twilight walked on to the scene. Twilight Sparkle seemed to be enjoying herself, giving a pleasant smile, while Applejack grimaced and turned her visage away so Twilight couldn't see the worry on her face.

“Hello, darlings!” Rarity waved at them, inviting them in a smile. “We were beginning to worry you weren't going to make it.”

“Oh, no worries, Rarity!” Twilight said. “It did take Applejack a while to convince me to come. After all, it seems a little odd to me that you would invite Applejack and I to hang with you on your date and not Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie. But if this is the company you want to keep, who am I to judge?”

Rarity and Hayseed gave each other a grimacing, worried look.

“Yes, well, quite right, darling. It's not like there's something else going on here, is it?” Rarity asked through a forced smile, nodding towards Applejack, who continued to look away from either her or Twilight.

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “That's an … interesting choice of words. Is something wrong?”

“I can assure you there is nothing wrong with me.” Rarity brought her hoof to the door. “Shall we go inside?”

Rarity began to apply pressure to the door, but Hayseed intercepted her, removing her hoof from the handle.

“Ah.” Hayseed opened the door for them. “A lady should not have to open doors herself while on a date.”

Rarity cooed. “Oh. Such a gentleman!”

“Indeed.” Twilight said. “I can see why you like him.”

The three mares went in, with Hayseed holding the door open until they were all inside. Applejack dragged her hooves, though, which displeased Hayseed. He didn't want to stand holding the door open all night. Hayseed went in after Applejack, letting the door close behind them.

Rarity walked up to the waiter at the counter of the front entrance. “Table for Rarity, please. Party of four. It was going to be two, but plans changed.”

The waiter nodded. He pulled out menus for them and guided them to a table at the far back of the restaurant. As they sat down, Applejack began to feel out of place. There were all these other ponies present, chatting and eating at the tables, dressed in suits for the stallions and sequin dresses for the mares. And here she was, a simple country farmer with a princess in Twilight, a successful business owner in Hayseed, and a proper lady in effect, if not in blood, in Rarity.

“Here are your menus.” The waiter said. “Our special tonight is the mock turtle soup.” He whipped out a notebook and a pencil. “Is there anything I can get for you?”

“Lemonade would be lovely, darling.” Rarity said.

“I'll have what the lady's having.” Hayseed draped a leg around Rarity.

Rarity giggled. “Oh, you.”

“Just some water will be fine, thank you.” Twilight told him.

“Y'all got any sprizters?” Applejack asked.

Rarity gave a disapproving glare which made Applejack feel both small and guilty.

“Ah … just water for me, too.” Applejack told him while glancing at Twilight. The waiter nodded, acknowledging her order, and left to go get their drinks.

Rarity was satisfied and nodded to let Applejack know she approved before sitting back in her chair and relaxing. “There. Two lemonades. Two waters. Creates a nice symmetry, doesn't it?”

Applejack rubbed the back of her head. “If you say so.”

“You know, they say two ponies who order the same drink are destined to wind up together.” Rarity said.

“What?” Twilight blinked. “I've never heard of that. That doesn't make any sense. Statistics show a large portion of ponies prefer water as their choice of drink when going out. If Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were here with Applejack and I, and we all ordered waters, would we all be destined to get together in a polygamist union?”

“It would be nice if you would get together with one of those ponies you mentioned ...” Rarity muttered under her breath.

“You're making this up.” Twilight concluded, not hearing Rarity's muttering.

“Fine. So what if I am?” Rarity crossed her hooves. “I just want to try to add something special to the evening that all four us could enjoy, that's all. I'm a romantic, Twilight. You know this.”

“Yes, I do. But could you at least try to stick with baseless romantic tricks that make some amount of sense?”

“Baseless?” Hayseed ask.

“Yes. Studies show that a significant percentage of things used to determine 'couple compatibility' don't actually result in any happy unions. You know, things like personality quizzes, sharing common likes and dislikes … horoscopes. That sort of thing.”

“Funny.” Hayseed said. “You would think, with all the magic we have in Equestria, ponies would be able to come up with better methods than that.”

“You would, wouldn't you?” Twilight gave an amused smile. “But magic just doesn't work that way. It's not that simple.”

“Your drinks, madams and one gent.” The waiter said, returning with a tray of glasses filled with either clear of yellow liquids, decked with lemon wedges wedged onto the brim of the cups. He distributed the drinks among them, took their orders for food, and left.

“So, Rarity … what made you invite me and Applejack over the rest of our friends?” Twilight asked. “Oh, not that I'm trying to make you feel bad! Just curious. You know, for comparison.”

“Well, I figured of all our friends, you two were the best to come appreciate the finer qualities of the restaurant with Hayseed and I.” Rarity gave Hayseed a romantic nuzzle.

“Really?” Twilight said. “Are you sure? Because I think Fluttershy might like it here more than Applejack … not that I mean anything by that!” Twilight tried to assure Applejack. “It's just … it's very quiet in here. Fluttershy would like it.”

“Mmm. I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I send out invites ...” Rarity pursed her lips. “After all, it's not like I meant for this to be more than just a get-together between friends.”

Rarity's hint not only flew over Twilight's head, it kept going until it crashed into the wall. “What do you mean by that, Rarity?”

Rarity glared at Twilight. Sulking, Rarity sunk into her chair. “Nothing.”

“Rarity?”

“Yes?”

“You've been very confusing this evening.”

And you've been oblivious. Rarity thought, though she was kind enough to keep the thought to herself. She glared at Applejack, who was staring into her cup of water. Not that you've been any help to your own cause, Applejack. I'm doing this for you, you know.

The waiter arrived with their food. Plates of fresh food waved trails of steam through the air, enticing Rarity and company with the scent of their deliciousness.

“Mmm, that smells lovely, darling.”

“Wait until you actually eat it.” The waiter gave his smug reply before setting the plates down on the table. “Bon appetit.”

“My compliments to the chef.” Rarity said.

The waiter left them to eat their meal in peace.

Applejack got ready to dig in, picking up a fork and preparing to stab her food ...

“Applejack, no! That's the salad fork!” Rarity yelped.

Applejack observed the fork in her hoof. “I don't understand y'all fancy system for this nonsense. A fork's a fork.”

“I know, right?” Hayseed agreed, letting his country origin show. “I still can't keep it all straight in my head myself ...”

“Exactly!” Applejack pointed the fork at him. “Honestly, why don't they just make one big … I don't know, super-fork that covers every use?”

“One size fits all!” Hayseed joked.

“Because.” Rarity hissed. “The organization of fine dinner silverware is an important part and tradition of the fine dining experience. It's what separates us from the animals.”

“Rarity, I hate it to break to you, but we're animals.” Applejack and Hayseed chuckled while Rarity blushed and fell silent.

“Hey … ” Applejack turned to Twilight, who was spinning her fork through her food in circles without lifting it up and eating it. “Are you all right, Twilight? You haven't said a word since the food got here.”

“Funny. You hadn't said a word until the food got here, Applejack.” Rarity said.

“I'm … fine, Applejack. Really.” Twilight answered. She went back to drawing circles.

“Yeah, all right. Hey, uh … listen.” Applejack looked away from Twilight, rubbing the back of her head. “I've got something I've been meaning to tell ya, Twilight ...”

Rarity stopped dead in her movements. She put her hooves on the table and leaned forward, her chair scooting out from underneath her. It was unladylike, but she didn't care.

Twilight's ears flicked in response to Applejack. She turned towards Applejack while still rotating her fork with one hoof.

“I, uh …” Applejack's attention was brought to the fork scraping around on Twilight's plate, making Applejack grit her teeth. “Consarn it, Twilight, you're driving me crazy with that thing! What's wrong?”

Rarity groaned and fell back into her chair, disappointed at Applejack for dodging the issue again. Though she would be lying if she said Twilight's perpetual dragging of the fork wasn't beginning to annoy her too.

“It's nothing.” Twilight said. “It's just … ugh.” Twilight dropped the fork and pushed herself away from the table. “Spike asked Princess Celestia out on a date.”

Applejack, Hayseed, and Rarity all reacted with a stunned silence. Hayseed, in particular, raised an eyebrow with a curious interest in this.

“Um … all right. That's a little unusual.” Applejack said.

“It wouldn't be so bad, except … she said yes.” Twilight said. “And I'm just … I'm having a hard time accepting it. Spike is a vulnerable place right now, and I don't want him to get hurt.”

“Oh, come now, Twilight!” Rarity said. “You don't honestly believe the Princess would do anything to hurt little Spike, do you?”

“On purpose? No. By accident ...” Twilight let them fill in the rest. “Besides, it's not really the Princess I'm worried about.”

“I … see.” Rarity's words came out strained, as she and Hayseed both took on worried expressions, their teeth gritting and eyes going wide.

“Rarity?” Twilight asked. “What's wrong?”

“Oh. Nothing. Nothing is wrong!” Rarity waved her hoof and tried to laugh it off. “But, um, Applejack, do try to keep Twilight from looking behind her, would you?”

“What? Why?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, I'm curious about that myself. Why?” Applejack asked.

“Oh, no reason. Just do it. Please, darling. This is night is going to go sour if you don't.”

“What could possibly be so bad that it will ruin the whole night?” Applejack asked and turned around. She put on the same wide-eyed expression as Rarity and Hayseed when she saw the same thing they were seeing.

“I'm quite curious about that myself ...” Twilight said.

“Uh, yep. I agree with Rarity.” Applejack said, staring transfixed. “Don't turn around, Twilight.”

This only stoked the fire of Twilight's curiosity. “What is going on over there?” Twilight turned her head around before Applejack could stop her.

Twilight's jaw hung agape.

The same waiter who had greeted them at the door and led them to a table was now performing the same service for Spike and Princess Celestia.

“What?” Twilight mouthed, unable to even speak. She supposed she couldn't blame the waiter for bringing Spike and Princess Celestia to a table. After all, it was his job. But given how serious was she taking the issue, and Celestia's flippant dismissal of her concerns earlier, Twilight still felt as though it was some kind of betrayal, even though the waiter owed no loyalty to her.

“Um …” The waiter stuttered as he pulled out his notepad. He was overwhelmed to see Princess Celestia sitting in the restaurant where he worked. “We have a wide variety of dishes available for your enjoyment, Princess. You just tell us everything you want and we'll-”

Celestia held out a hoof, asking for his silence. “Please. Today, I want no special treatment due to my status as a princess. I just want a nice romantic evening like anypony else. As far as you are concerned, I am just another pony. Understand?”

“Understood, Princess.”

Celestia glared at him, not amused. “What did I just say?”

“My apologies, Prin-” The waiter caught himself in time. He took in a deep breath, which helped. “My apologies, ma'am. What can I get for you?”

“That's better. Do you have anything romantic?” Celestia asked.

“Er, yes. We have the Couple's Special dinner, as well as ...” The waiter looked at Spike. “Well, I do not think the dragon here is mature enough for those specials yet.”

“Hey ...” Spike was offended. “What do you mean by that?”

Celestia giggled. “He means they're alcoholic, Spike.”

“Oh.”

“We'll have the Couple's Special.” Celestia handed her menu back to the waiter, who took it and left.

“I can't believe this.” Twilight said, turning back to her own table.

“Aw. Hey, come on, Twilight.” Applejack wrapped her leg around Twilight's shoulders. “Just ignore it.”

Twilight shook her head. “How can I just ignore it, Applejack? My mentor is, against my wishes, going on a date with my assistant!”

“I understand, Twilight, but they're not doing anything to us. Just leave 'em be.”

“You don't understand, Applejack.” Twilight massaged her temples. “The Princess … she was so … flippant earlier! Do you have any idea what it's like to be trying to tell somepony something that they need to hear, only for them to ignore you and make it seem like your feelings don't even matter to them?”

Rarity cringed.

Applejack rolled her eyes away from Twilight. She rested her knee on the table, leaning her head into her hoof. “Yeah. Sure sounds unpleasant …”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. “I'm sorry, Applejack. You were trying to say something a moment ago. What was it you wanted to tell me?”

Applejack's eyes widened. She didn't expect Twilight to be able to steer the conversation back after seeing Celestia in the building. “I, uh ...”

“Yes, Applejack.” Rarity said. “What was it you wanted to tell Twilight?”

Applejack could feel sweat drip down the back of her neck, which spoke volumes about how nervous she was; the air in the restaurant was maintained a comfortable chill temperature.

“I … I've been meanin' to ask y'all if the library has any good books on pest control.” Applejack said.

Rarity took in a deep, frustrated breath while Twilight gave Applejack an odd look.

“Applejack, you know the library has books on pest control. You've rented all of them in the past. If I get any new ones, I'll tell you.”

“Now, Applejack … I think we both know that's not what you really wanted to tell Twilight, is it?” Rarity asked.

“No.” Applejack ran a hoof across her sweating face. “Look, Twilight, the real thing I wanted to tell y'all was ...”

“Yes?” Twilight said. She wrapped her hooves Applejack's hoof. “Applejack, I'm here for you.”

Applejack took her free hoof and ran it through Twilight's hair. “I just wanted to say that I like the way you style your mane. The pink stripe y'all have really makes it stand out.” Applejack flashed a nervous grin.

“Better.” Rarity whispered.

“Um, okay. Thanks.” Twilight said. “I'm not sure why just complimenting my hair was such a hard thing for you to say, Applejack. But it's all out now, right? You feel better now?”

“Yeah ...” Applejack muttered and looked away.

“Good. And if there's anything else you need, don't be afraid to ask.” Twilight cupped Applejack's cheek.

Applejack smiled, though it went away at the sound of laughter coming from Celestia and Spike's table. Not so much because Applejack had a problem with it, but because Twilight cringed at the sound and took her hoof away from Applejack to plug into her own ears until the awful sound reminding Twilight of the Princess's irresponsibility in this matter died away.

“What are they even doing over there?” Twilight asked, turning around and putting her hooves on the chair, raising up to spy on Spike and Celestia. Spike and Celestia clinked their glasses together in a toast before they both took a drink.

“Hmm.” Applejack rested on the table again. She felt something bump into her hind leg and looked across the table. Rarity gestured for Applejack to go under the table.

Applejack lifted the tablecloth up and looked under the table, where a napkin was held afloat in the blue glow of Rarity's magic. Applejack grabbed it and unfolded it. There was writing on it.

Dear Applejack,

What you're doing isn't working. Please, just abandon all subtlety, grab Twilight by the cheeks, and give her a big and wet kiss.

Sincerely, Rarity.

Applejack looked up to Rarity, who had a smug grin.

Applejack smacked her forehead with her hoof, using her leg to cover her eyes and try to make the reality of the situation go away. Though she did enough sense to crumple the napkin up before Twilight could get a peek at the writing. It would raise several uncomfortable questions if Twilight saw it.

Applejack laid the napkin in her lap and sighed. She supposed there was nothing for it. “Twilight -”

Across the restaurant, Spike and Celestia began laughing again. Watching them, it was obvious they were laughing at something Spike had said.

“That's it. I can't take it anymore.” Twilight pushed her chair away from the table and got out from her seat. “I'm going to give her a piece of my mind.”

“Twilight, wait!” Applejack and Rarity tried to get Twilight not to go, but their pleas fell on deaf ears.

Twilight marched up to the table where Spike and Celestia. Celestia saw her coming and was exasperated. Spike blushed, embarrassed, and curled up in his seat, trying to hide behind his cup.

When Twilight Sparkle was about a meter away from their table, she raised her hoof, ready to let Celestia have it and tear into her.

Right as Twilight opened her mouth to speak, Celestia pointed her horn at Twilight. Celestia's horn glowed, and Twilight Sparkle disappeared from the restaurant in a flash of light.

Well, Rarity did say this evening was going to be magical, though this wasn't quite what she had in mind ... Applejack might have made a sarcastic quip if she didn't have more pressing concerns.

Applejack and Rarity were shocked. They bounded out of their seats and ran towards Celestia. They got on their knees and begged.

“Princess, no!”

“She didn't mean it!” Rarity said.

“She was just upset!” Applejack said.

“Please, don't send Twilight into an alternate dimension, or – or to a jail, or banish her and then put her in a dungeon in the place you banished her to!”

Celestia gave them both a blank stare before bursting into laughter.

“Oh, my little ponies! You have such active imaginations! Relax. Twilight Sparkle is fine. I merely teleported her outside of the restaurant. I'm pretty sure I know what she wanted to say, and I wanted to hear none of it. I have been her mentor for several years. I will not be lectured by her.” Celestia took a calm sip from her glass. “Honestly. Banishment, alternate dimensions, dungeons in foreign lands. Where do you ponies come up with all these strange ideas?” Celestia gave them an amused smile.

Rarity chuckled. “Well … some of us have nightmares about this sort of thing happening to us, and you are the pony with the highest authority in the land, so ...”

“Excuse me.” Applejack said. “I have to go. I'm gonna go make sure Twilight is okay.”

“You do that.” Celestia said.

The conflict averted, Spike dared to raise his head up. “Hi, Rarity.”

“Hello, Spike. Well, I'll leave you two to your date.” Rarity bowed and made her exit.

Spike averted his gaze.

“What's wrong, Spike?” Celestia asked.

“Oh ... nothing.” Spike said.

On the outside of the restaurant, Applejack swung the door open. “Twilight? Twilight!” Twilight was standing a few feet away from the restaurant, in the exact pose she was when Celestia's magic activated. Unhurt, but staring at the distance in shock while she tried to process what just happened.

“Twilight, are you okay?” Applejack ran up to Twilight and placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.

“I can't believe she did that.” Twilight put her raised hoof on the ground. “I can't believe she did that!”

“I know, I know.” Applejack said. “Come here. It'll be okay. You want to talk about it?”

“Yes, yes I do. At length. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“I got all the time in the world, Twilight.”

“I'm her student!” Twilight said. “I lived under her for several years! Does what I have to say mean NOTHING to her anymore? And Spike! He didn't even raise an objection! Can you believe him? And another thing ...” As Twilight continued ranting, Applejack's thoughts began to drift.

Maybe she could take advantage of this. Maybe she could capitalize on Twilight's emotional state for a bonding moment between them and plant the seeds for a relationship between the two of them …

No. No. Applejack shook her head, dismissing the thought. This was the sort of tactic used by ladies' men and pick-up artists, and Applejack did not want to sink herself to their level.

So she sat down on the grass, listening to Twilight in silence, taking in dozens of words without ever uttering one herself.

Rarity, sticking her head out the door of the restaurant with Hayseed, had a different opinion on the matter.

“Come on, Applejack!” Rarity muttered. “You have the perfect opportunity to make a move! Come on! Make a move. Make a move.”

“Now, Rarity, think about that. Are y'all sure that's the best idea?” Hayseed ask. “Twilight is a little emotional distraught right now. If Applejack were to try and take advantage of that for her own romantic gain … well, that would be kind of scummy, wouldn't it?”

Rarity sighed. “I suppose so, yes. But still … anything would be an improvement over what she's been doing.”

As Twilight concluded her rant, she fell to her haunches. She was reeling from a whirlwind of different emotions, ranging from anger and betrayal to sadness and depression. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks as she was overwhelmed by the realization of how much Celestia's dismissals of her and her concerns, her voice, had hurt her. “I can't … I can't believe she would treat me this way! I mean, do I still mean anything to her anymore?”

“There, there.” Applejack patted Twilight on the back. “It'll be all right. You'll make up with the Princess. You always do, remember? That's one thing I can say for sure, is that no matter what happens, you and the Princess will find ways to make up eventually.”

Twilight sniffed. Though she was still crying, she wore a smile. “Thanks, Applejack. You're right. This is just … a rocky phase, right? Not even the best of relationships are perfect, are they?”

Twilight reached around and gave Applejack a hug. Applejack returned it, resting her chin on Twilight's shoulder.

“Thanks, Applejack. You're a good friend.”

“Yeah.” Applejack muttered into Twilight's ear. “A friend. And nothing more ...”

“Hmm? Did you say something, Applejack?”

Applejack paused, having to give careful thought about how she wanted to answer.

“No, Twilight. I didn't say anything ...”

Author's Note

Not a lot of Spike in this chapter, huh?

I know Celestia probably seems kind of like a jerk in this chapter, but I have plans to address that. This story will not just be Celestia being a jerk while the other characters passively take it.

I also meant for the whole "teleporting Twilight Sparkle" thing to be more an act of passive annoyance than overt aggression. If your much younger-than-you student tried to give you a lecture, wouldn't you get upset?

So … you know that waiter in there, who gets all flustered about having to serve Princess Celestia? It wasn't until I had gotten to writing that part did I remember that TWILIGHT was a Princess, so why wasn't he awkward around her? OH WELL.

Runaways

When Spike rose from bed the next morning, he felt relaxed and refreshed, ready to take on the day, no matter what challenges life had to throw at him

“Good morning, Twilight,” Spike said as he went down the stairs. “How was your night?”

“Fine,” Twilight said, rubbing at her tired eyes and attempting to straighten her frizzled mane. “Just fine. Though I did have this dream where Celestia's mouth grew to huge proportions and she swallowed you whole.”

Twilight flashed a malicious smirk, showing she rather enjoyed sharing this terrifying image with Spike. “Interpret that as you will.” She walked past Spike and descended the stairs.

Spike bit his lip. This was not a pleasant image to start out his day. As he turned and resumed his walk down the stairs, there was a knock at the door.

Spike went to the door and pulled it open. “Princess Celestia!”

Twilight's head whipped around.

“Hello, Spike.” Celestia said, her long mane flowing in the breeze..

“W-what are you doing here?” Spike asked, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“After I replied to your letter, Spike, I felt bad about not being able to come see you yesterday. So I made some arrangements and came over today.”

“Wow!” Spike exclaimed. “You can do that? But… aren't you a Princess?” Spike blushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Don't you have responsibilities? Everypony was telling me you couldn't drop everything to come see me all the time...”

Celestia giggled. “You're right, I do have responsibilities. But I didn't drop anything, I merely rearranged them. You see, it's all about time management--knowing your schedules and knowing where you can deviate and how much time you can allow for small indulgences.”

Twilight pumped her hoof in the air. “Preach it, sister!”

Celestia gave Twilight an awkward stare. “Yes. Anyways, I will have to get back to the castle at some point. But before then, I thought we could go out for ice cream, Spike.”

“Yeah, sure!” Spike's tail perked up, excited to spend time with the Princess. Spike brought his claws to his chin and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, but is Twilight okay with it?”

“What do you mean, Spike?” Twilight was using her magic to pour herself a bowl of cereal. “Why wouldn't I be okay with it?” Twilight continued to pour and pour, not focusing on what she was doing, causing the bowl to overfill with a mound of wheat flakes rising up from it. Twilight followed up by getting out the milk and pouring the milk into the bowl, repeating the process and overfilling to where milk leaked from the bowl onto the table. She at last noticed she was making a mess and awkwardly stopped pouring, lifting the milk up in staggered motions. After a minute spent staring at the milk on the table, Twilight pretended as if she didn’t see and took a big bite out of the soggy cereal mound, diving her muzzle straight into as if she were an uncultured savage.

Celestia and Spike, neither of them sure how to go about addressing the obvious with Twilight, looked to each other for advice.

Celestia stepped forward and spoke first. “Twilight, if you have something you want to talk about--”

“No, no, it's fine! It's fine, really! Go. Enjoy yourselves and enjoy each other’s company.” Twilight's eye twitched. “I'll just be here, reading books. Like normal. Because everything is normal and fine and dandy.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow at Spike. Her bemused expression seemed to communicate the thought “Do you put up with this every day?” to Spike. Spike shook his head no… paused, and pinched his finger and thumb together in a ‘little bit’ gesture.

Celestia leaned in close to him. “Give me a hint here, Spike. Any ideas on dealing with Twilight’s… passive-aggression?”

Spike could only shrug. “If I knew, I’d tell you.”

Celestia nodded in acceptance of this. She raised up and turned back to Twilight. “If you insist.” Celestia said. “Come, Spike. Let's go find a vendor.” Celestia draped a wing around Spike and walked away from the library.

“Yeah… Hey, you're not going to eat me, are you?”

“What? No. Why would I do that? I mean, unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case I think I can make a few adjustments...”

Hearing Celestia say these words, Twilight desperately needed a cup of brain bleach as she unintentionally began to consider how Celestia would even begin to make such an idea work, as well as what those 'adjustments' might entail.

“No, no, it's fine.” Spike insisted. “Just… Twilight had this weird dream, that's all.”

“I see. And did this… dream involve any other situations depicting me doing something to you, Spike?” Celestia glared over her shoulder, and Twilight Sparkle could feel the Princess's suspicious, vindictive eye even from a mile away.

“Uh, no,” Spike answered.

Twilight's horn flared up and she used her magic to slam the door shut behind Celestia and Spike. The loud thump startled Spike, but all Celestia did was shake her head in disapproval before continuing to walk on.

Celestia and Spike found the nearest ice cream vendor, whose jaw dropped upon seeing Princess Celestia approach him in person. “Princess Celestia!”

“Two ice cream cones, please.” Celestia said, proceeding as if he had said nothing. “One double-scoop with vanilla and mint with chocolate frosting and sprinkles, and one...” Celestia turned to Spike. “What would you like, Spike?”

“Do you have sapphire sprinkles?” Spike asked the vendor, blushing and sheepishly crossing his legs.

“Well, lucky for you, I've learned from the last time you were here.”

“You have?” Spike asked, not remembering he had been here before.

The vendor turned away from him and produced an ice cream scoop covered with shavings of a blue gems “Thankfully, Pinkie Pie was kind enough to grant me access to the emergency sapphire sprinkle stash she had hidden nearby. Says she's got them set up all over town.” The vendor splatted the sapphire ice cream onto a cone. “She's a weird one, that Pinkie, but bless her heart.”

“Quite.” Celestia used her magic to take the ice creams from the vendor once he had finished preparing them. Once done, Celestia produced a few golden bits and hovered them towards the vendor. “Your payment, sir.”

“Oh no.” The vendor waved his hooves. “I couldn't possibly accept this. Not money from the Princess!”

Celestia made a displeased expression at once again being given special treatment because she was royalty. “Just because I am a Princess does not mean I am exempt from all the same rules as any other pony. Besides, you have expenditures to meet for your business, sir, and I insist that you take it.”

The vendor glared at her and was given a glare back in return. “Tell you what. I'll meet you in the middle. I'll take the money, but you've got to accept a 20% royalty discount.”

Celestia heaved a long sigh. “If that's what it takes for you to do your job, then yes.” Celestia divided the coins and dropped a portion of them on the vendor's table, putting the other 20% back where she got them from.

“Pleasure doing business with ya.” The vendor saluted. Celestia and Spike walked away from him.

“Honestly.” Celestia walked with Spike and took a lick of her ice cream. “I wish ponies wouldn't feel so compelled to do me favors just because I'm the Princess. Sure, I may have wings and a horn, but I'm no different than anypony else inside.”

“Are you kidding?” Spike asked as he took a lick of his sapphire sprinkles. “I would love to get a 20% discount off ice cream just because I was a Princess! Mmm, sapphire...”

“I'll ask Twilight if she's willing to leave her position.” Celestia smiled.

Spike stared at her in shock for a minute before realizing she was joking. “Ah-ha! Good one.”

Celestia giggled, and the two of them took another lick of their respective ice creams.

“Although…” Spike said. “I guess I kinda know what you mean. They don’t show it often… even less now that Twilight’s a Princess, but sometimes… when it’s quiet… I can see ponies looking at me, judging me for being a dragon. Wondering what Twilight is thinking by keeping me around…”

“Mmm…”

“Hey...” Spike paused, having an idea and wanting to move to a more positive mood. He looked into his diminutive, squashed reflection inside the sapphire sprinkles. “Princess Celestia, do you… want to try to my sapphire ice cream?” Spike blushed and held the ice cream cone up to her.

Celestia chuckled, a sound which reminded Spike of the warm and soothing crackle of a fireplace. Spike figured it had something to do with her nature as a sun-related entity. “I'm flattered, Spike, but I've already tried a sapphire sprinkle once, and I've no wish to try it again.” Celestia gave him a warm, softer smile, one which almost seemed motherly. “But thank you for thinking of me. That's very sweet of you.” Celestia ran a hoof over Spike's head. “You're going to make an excellent husband one day, I know.”

Spike's eyes shrunk and he backed away from Celestia. “H-husband?” He might have had a few fleeting thoughts of marriage during an imaginary discussion, but he wasn't ready for it now!

“I don't mean for me, Spike.”

“Oh.”

“Well, I'll be! Howdy, Princess Celestia. What are y'all doing here?”

“Hello, Applejack, Rarity.” Celestia's eyes flitted between her and Rarity as the two approached. “I was just enjoying some ice cream with Spike.”

“Out with Spike again already? Weren't y'all just on a date two nights ago?” Applejack asked. “Ah don't mean to be rude, Princess, but don't y'all have, you know, princess business you need to be attendin' to?”

“Yes, you're correct, but it can wait long enough for me to finish a single ice-cream cone.” Celestia said.

“A double-scoop ice cream cone.” Rarity cheekily observed. “Which would take twice as long as a single scoop.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, though she smiled. “All right. You got me.” She lifted the cone to her mouth and shoved it in, swallowing the entire top scoop and half of the bottom scoop in one massive gulp. Rarity's and Applejack's jaws dropped; Applejack was impressed. Rarity, however, was disturbed to see the Princess engage in such a gluttonous manner of eating.

“Well,” Celestia wiped the mint ice cream off her mouth with her hoof. “I should be heading back to Canterlot soon. I think I'll head back to the library and say goodbye to Twilight Sparkle before I go. Will you accompany me, Spike?”

“You go ahead. I'll catch up.” Spike licked his ice cream and Celestia went on her way.

Rarity and Applejack observed Spike, finding the way he ate his ice cream endearing, in an immature way. Still just like a child, they both thought.

Spike glanced up and noticed that they were staring at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked. “It’s kinda creepy.”

“Sorry,” Applejack said as she and Rarity covered their mouths to hide their giggles. “It's just… you look so cute eating ice cream. Makes us think about when you were younger.”

“Uh-huh.” Spike determined it would be best to just ignore them and went back to his ice cream, though he kept an eye on them.

Rarity looked to the ground. Applejack punched her shoulder. “Go on, Rarity. If you've got something to ask him, ask him.”

“Spike?” Rarity asked. “I have something to ask you. Are you… happy?”

“Happy?” Spike said.

“With Celestia. Are you happy with dating her? Does she make you feel… happy when you're with her?” Rarity shifted her eyes away from him and rubbed her mane.

“Happy,” Spike repeated. “Does she make me happy? Yeah, sure, I guess. Why?”

“Oh, nothing.” Rarity waved her hoof. “It was just something silly that Hayseed said, ha ha! Nothing to be worried about.”

Unfortunately for Rarity, Spike found the notion of Hayseed saying something to be something worth worrying about.

Applejack stepped in front of Rarity. “I got a question for ya, too, Spike.”

“Okay. Sure.”

“How do y'all… deal with it?”

Spike raised a confused eyebrow. “Deal with what?”

“It. You know, it!” Applejack sighed. “Your love for Celestia? How do you put up with it? How do you stand it, being so near to somepony you love, and yet so far away, and it seems like they're always just out of reach?”

“Um… come again?”

“How do you stand the fragility of it all?” Applejack asked. “Always wanting to express your feelings… how you feel… your love for her… but knowing that if you make so much as one mistake, she’ll send you away in the dungeon forever?”

Rarity gave an awkward chuckle before forcing a cough.

“Celestia doesn’t send ponies to the dungeon.” Spike said. “Not unless they’re like, Sombra-levels of super-bad. I don’t know where she keeps getting this reputation.”

“And y’all want to be close to her, ya really do, but she has this idea of you… that you just don’t want to risk? That you don’t want to break and ruin your relationship forever?”

“Applejack, I really don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“And then you start dri--”

“Ah-ha!” Rarity intervened, grabbing Applejack by the shoulder. “Well, we'd be best be going! We wouldn't want to be late, would we?”

“Late for what, Rarity? We don't have anywhere we need to be.”

“Oh, Applejack, don't be silly! Of course we do.” Rarity dragged Applejack away before Applejack let slip enough for Spike to piece together she wasn’t talking about Celestia, and was talking about someone else. He would ask for more details, and if Applejack told her, Spike would never be able to keep it a secret for long.

While Rarity dragged Applejack away before she embarrassed herself further, Spike turned to his ice cream in contemplation. What Rarity and Applejack had been asking had struck a chord with him, even if it didn't always make sense. Was he happy while around Celestia? Did Celestia make him feel happy? And how could he keep up this relationship when Celestia no doubt had more royal affairs to attend? Oh, sure, she had made time for this morning, but what about the next? The next week? The following month?

“Oh, geez.” Spike placed a claw over his head, coming to a long-overdue realization. “I rushed into this without thinking, didn't I? I need to talk to Celestia...” Holding his ice cream up high to keep it from falling, Spike ran to find Celestia, every so often taking another lick from his cone.

()

Celestia opened the door to the library and stepped in. “Twilight?”

“Upstairs!” Twilight called.

Celestia went upstairs and to Twilight's room, where Twilight Sparkle was reading a book on her desk.

“Hello, Princess,” Twilight said without turning to look at her. “Can I help you with something?”

“I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave for Canterlot,” Celestia said. “Spike has proven himself to be an unexpected delight.”

“Uh-huh.” Twilight nodded.

“Has he told you about the time he was out with Pinkie Pie, and he ended up covered from head-to-toe in chocolate pudding?”

“I've been wondering about that. He came home one day like that and told me not to ask questions about what happened.”

“Hmm.” Celestia crossed one hoof in front of the other. “Twilight? I'm curious. Do you really have a dream where I ate Spike?”

Twilight finally looked up from her book and at Celestia, a hoof on her chin. “I might have exaggerated a few details. But I did have that dream.”

Celestia nodded, pleased. “Good. For a moment there, I thought you might have been trying to drive a wedge between Spike and me because you're still objecting to our relationship. It is good to see you coming to terms with it, and I appreciate that you didn't let it become an issue this morning.”

“Of course! After all, if you want to keep indulging Spike, well, who am I to judge?” Twilight waved her hoof around before gesturing to herself.

Twilight's choice of words caught Celestia's attention. “Indulging? Twilight, what do you mean by indulging?”

“Oh, you know.” Twilight wore a disingenuous smile. “Indulging him in this delusion he has that he can make a lasting relationship with the Princess of Equestria work. I mean, just because I think you're acting immoral in helping him in that delusion, and he's being immature because he insists on it, that doesn't mean I can object to a couple's love, does it?”

Celestia sighed. “I'm disappointed, Twilight. I thought we were past this."

“You're disappointed? Put yourself in my horseshoes! One of the ponies whom I respect the most, the wizened, mature leader of Equestria, is sooner or later going to hurt the the baby dragon I’ve lived with all these years and pretty much raised, and she can't even see it and won't listen to me!”

“We've had this talk before, Twilight, and we'll have it again as many times as we need to. While I respect your right to voice your concerns and I understand them… I believe you are overly worried about Spike’s emotional well-being, and I will say this again: worry and fret as much as you like, and raise your concerns. Still… you do not get to tell me what I can and can't do.”

Twilight's eye twitched. That Celestia had the gall to claim she respected Twilight's right to voice her concerns, after what she did at the restaurant two nights ago… it upset Twilight, needless to say. And to hear the ‘you do not got to tell what I can and can't do’ line again wasn't any more pleasing to hear.

Honestly, Princess, don't you have any other material?

Twilight took in a deep breath. “Princess Celestia of Equestria… you have been a teacher to me for several years. You took me in when I was a young filly. You've guided me when I was lost. You've almost always believed in me. You're almost like a second mother to me. I'm telling you all these things you already know--”

“I was wondering about that.”

“--because I want you to understand that, despite the severity of what I’m about to say, I still love you, and I want you to remember that when I say it. I want to remember that when I say it. But...”

Spike was on his way to the library, about to cross over a small wooden bridge built over a tiny river, when Rarity and Hayseed appeared behind him.

“Oh, hello again, Spike!” Rarity said. “Fancy meeting you here. Hayseed and I were just on our way to an early lunch.”

“Hey.” Spike waved. He smiled awkwardly at Hayseed, who smiled awkwardly back. “Do we have to talk now? I gotta get to the library before Celestia leaves.”

“Oh, we'll just be a minute, darling. We won't keep you,” Rarity said. “Hayseed was concerned about you, and I figured it would be good to let him get a look at you himself so he can know you're doing okay.”

“Yeah.” Hayseed said. “Especially after… you know…”

Badly-timed word slips seemed to be becoming a recurring theme of the day.

“Know? Know what?” Rarity asked. “I certainly don't know. What does Spike know?”

Hayseed grimaced and raised a hoof off the ground. He gave a pitying look to Spike.

Spike shook his head. Don't do it. Don't tell her.

Hayseed sighed. “I can't keep this from you anymore, Rarity. Do you remember the flowers from when we first became a couple?”

“Yes. They were a lovely bouquet, and you were sure you had gotten the exact bouquet for me. Why?”

“Well… it was a bouquet I got for you. But on the day I was going to give it to you, Spike came up to me and he told me you were taken, and your heart belonged to someone else. I dropped the flowers and left. When I saw the same flowers on your counter, I knew Spike must have given them to you. I… I didn't tell ya sooner because I didn't want you to think less of Spike as a friend.”

“What?” Rarity hissed. “Spike! How could you? It's bad enough for you to lie to Hayseed, but to give me the flowers he meant to give me and pretend they were from you? That's terribly dishonest of you, Spike! I didn't know you had it in you to be such a brute!”

Spike stepped back and hung his head in shame. “I know...”

“Now, Rarity...” Hayseed said, trying to intervene on Spike's behalf. Rarity had a right to be upset, but he had forgiven Spike, and he didn't want Rarity to hurt him.

“Don't you take that tone with me! You're not innocent in this either!” Rarity snapped. “Did it not once occur to you that I might like to know if one of my best friends has been lying about my relationship status? Is this part of this secret brotherly code I've heard so much about? I – auugh!”

Rarity turned away and put her hoof over her eyes. She lowered her hoof and shot them a dirty gaze over her shoulder.

“I'm going to find Applejack. I think I need to be away from men for a little while.”

Rarity trotted away.

Hayseed took his hat off and held it to his chest. “I'm sorry, Spike. I never intended for this happen.”

“It's okay. It's not your fault. It's mine.”

“Oh, come on now, Spike. You can't talk about yourself like that.”

“Maybe not.” Spike crossed his arms, his empty ice cream cone sticking out from the side. “Hey… listen. Even if it didn't work out as planned, I appreciate what you were trying to do. You know, trying to preserve my friendship with Rarity.”

“Thank you, Spike. It means a lot to me to hear you say that.”

“Yeah… I'll see you later, okay?” Spike waved off and resumed his course on the bridge. “I have to go talk to Celestia about this… she'll know what to do.”

“See you around!” Hayseed waved his hat before putting it on and leaving.

Spike reached his destination of the Ponyville library. Once the building was in sight, he was eager to get inside. But he would not be getting any comfort or advice from either pony inside those walls. Instead, he heard a scream.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

Spike dragged to a halt. There was an explosion inside the upper echelon of the library, followed by a white flash in one of the windows. Princess Celestia appeared in another flash of light, floating in the air, her hoof raised to make an objection. The magic holding her up let go, dropping her to the ground.

Twilight Sparkle stuck her head out the window.

“Not so fun to be teleported outside of the building before you've even had a chance to speak, is it?” Twilight yelled, her horn shining as she quickly raised up a magical force field over the library before Celestia could retaliate.

Celestia stood at the edge of the glittering purple bubble. Spike ran to her side.

“Come on, Princess!” Spike said. “Are you gonna let her talk to you like that? You're powerful enough to break this force field!”

“I do believe you correct in that, Spike. Though… Twilight’s magical power has grown considerably since she became a Princess. Moreover...” Celestia closed her eyes and walked away from the barrier. “I think it would be better if I were to leave now. I will talk to Twilight again once she's had a chance to calm down.” Celestia spread her wings and flew back to Canterlot.

Spike, with concern, turned to the force field. Gulping, he stepped forward, hoping it would let him through. It did, allowing him to phase through the otherwise solid dome.

“Twilight?” Spike asked, hesitating to walk to up to the library's entrance.

The door swung open and Twilight stood in the entrance. Her face was serious and full of contempt, with her lips turned in on themselves. Her wings were flared up and stiff, like a raised battle flag.

Spike knew the answer to his question would be no, but he asked anyway, because to do anything less would get him and Twilight nowhere. “Twilight, are you okay? What was that all about? Is everything alright?”

Twilight growled, showing her teeth. “No, Spike, I am not okay and everything's not alright! You're not mature enough to realize you're only dating Celestia as a rebound. You're in love with Celestia's shadow! You’re only ‘in love’ with her because she comforted you when you were down, and you’re so blinded by that that you can’t see all the ways this relationship can’t work! Celestia is being so irresponsible by dating you and treats me like I'm some kind of little foal when I try to tell her that it's wrong, and Applejack has some serious thing that she can't even talk to me about! I have been wracking my brain for the last several hours, wondering where I went wrong as a mother with you and as a student with Celestia that this situation is even happening. And the only thing I come up with that even remotely makes sense is that since we've moved to Ponyville, you've become so – so stupid!”

Spike drew away, holding an arm. He tried to fight back tears, but his eyes still turned watery. “If--if that's the way you really feel, then I'll just – I'll just go.”

Tears running down and flying off his face, Spike ran away from the house, going through the force field and putting as much distance between Twilight and himself as he could.

Twilight heaved heavy breaths, glaring at Spike until he had left her sight and she no longer could. It was only after Spike had left the force field that it occurred to Twilight what she had said and done.

“Oh no...” Twilight lifted a hoof to her face, smacking herself. “Spike, wait, I--” She reached out for him, but Spike was gone. “What have I done?”

Twilight closed the door and put her back against the wall, sliding down until she was on the floor.

Spike ran and ran, not caring where he was going. He wanted to get far, far away from the library. But he couldn’t run forever, and by the time his legs began to tire out, he noticed he was surrounded by dark trees with either black or purple bark.

I'm not in the… Everfree Forest, am I? Spike thought. Sadly, Spike braced himself for a long walk. Going into the Everfree Forest wasn't a good idea even at the best of times and the height of emotional clarity, two things Spike was lacking at the moment.

Spike began to walk around, searching for something to clue him in on a direction to go. Perhaps a ray of sunlight, or a hoofprint leading to a trail he could follow to get somewhere.

Maybe I can find Zecora's hut… Hey, maybe I can go live with Zecora. He wasn't going back to Twilight's house anytime soon.

Spike continued to search for a way. He found some hoof prints which seemed familiar and followed them, but they disappeared and left him to fend on his own. Trusting his instinct, he went to the right and followed the clearest path he could find. This led to him going in a circle and ending where he started.

“Didn't I just pass that bush?” Spike wondered. The bush he was staring at looked familiar.

It was time to admit the truth. He couldn't hide it anymore.

“I'm lost.” As the words left Spike's lips, so did his sense of hope leave his body. All he could do was hope Twilight realized he had been gone for too long and send out a search party, or to stumble upon Zecora while she was out gathering ingredients.

Spike sat on the ground. Looking around, he saw a flowing river.

“A river!” Spike got up and crawled towards it, taking note of the current of the river. “Maybe I can follow it back to Ponyville ...”

It wasn't a bad plan. Spike couldn't be sure, but the river's current seemed to be flowing in the direction of Ponyville, and he had crossed a bridge over a river earlier today. All he had to do was hope the two rivers were connected, and the waters would lead him home.

Before he had a chance to put this plan into action, his attention was caught by the sounds of stomping. Stomping he recognized. Stomping he had heard before. The ground shook underneath him with each step of the creature drawing nearer, and Spike knew what it was.

A dragon was coming after him. Not a baby dragon such as himself, but a full-grown, massive, winged fire-breathing beast.

Spike gulped.

Inside the Carousel Boutique, the bell rang, signaling somepony coming inside as Twilight Sparkle entered the building. She went into the kitchen, where Rarity was eating ice cream from the tub.

“Has anypony seen Spike lately?” Twilight asked.

“Don't know.” Rarity levitated the spoon into the ice cream and shoved a big bite into her mouth. “Don't care. Om nom nom.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” Applejack asked.

“I don't know. Maybe,.” Twilight said. “I … said some things to him a little while ago that I maybe … no, definitely shouldn’t have, and I've not heard from him since, and I'm starting to get worried.” Twilight grimaced, slapping her face as an obvious idea hit her. “Oh no. What if he's run into the Everfree Forest again like he did when I first got Owlowiscious?”

Everypony, including Rarity, jumped up and stood at attention.

“I'm going to go cast a locator spell.” Twilight turned to leave. “If the results aren't good, I want everypony to be ready to go and find him.”

“Understood.” Rarity saluted.“Don't worry, Twilight. We'll find him.”

“Thanks, Rarity. I know I can always count on you and the girls.”

The dragon drew near. It was a terrifying sight, with black scales dark as night and ominous purple eyes. It lumbered on all fours, adding to its image as a beast. It came within a few feet of Spike and stopped, its sharp irises focusing and zeroing in on him.

Spike raised his arms over his head in defense.

The dragon opened its mouth, and what came out… was not what Spike was expecting. Instead of burning, monstrous green flames, what slipped from the dragon's mouth were spoken words by a sweet, gentle voice, with a vague southern twang, though nowhere near as pronounced as Applejack’s.

“Well, aren't you the cutest thing I ever did see!” The dragon exclaimed.

Spike's eyes widened. He put his arms down and look at the dragon. “Uh, I am?”

“Of course!” The dragon rested on its elbow, propping her head on her claw. “I mean, not that there's much cute to look at in these woods. Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Antioch.”

“I'm… Spike.” Spike hesitated to introduce himself, but Antioch appeared not to mean him any harm.

“You know, a little baby dragon shouldn't be out wandering these woods alone. That's very irresponsible of your mother dragon, you know. You must be starving!”

Spike scratched the back of his neck. If only she knew. “Heh, well, about that...”

Antioch flexed her jaws. Stretching her massive neck, she plunged her maw into the river. She came out with a pile of fish in her mouth, most of which were pierced by her fangs and killed in an instant. Craning her neck over, she dropped the pile of fish in front of Spike. “There you go. Eat up!”

Spike didn't go for it. Having grown up around ponies, carnivorous food was alien to him.

“Please, I insist!” Antioch said.

Spike, not willing to risk provoking Antioch into anger, grabbed an orange fish from the top of the pile and put it into his mouth. To his surprise, he found it rather tasty and pleasant, with a smooth texture which made it easy to swallow. “Mmm! This is pretty good.” Spike realized how odd this might have sounded to Antioch. “Uh, I mean...”

She seemed not to notice, staring at Spike with a sort of covetousness in her eyes. “You know … I've always wanted a child, but I can never find a mate ...”

Spike chuckled. “Hmph. I can’t imagine what that’s like…”

Antioch looked around the area. “Say, where are your parents, anyway?”

“My parents? Uh…” Spike stammered. It occurred to him the answer for where his mother was ‘“in Ponyville’” but he didn’t want to think about Twilight right now. “Oh, I don’t know…”

“You don’t know where your parents are? That’s awful!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Spike mused. “Can’t say I care to see them again right now. Hmph. Maybe you could adopt me instead or something…”

Antioch let out a high-pitched gasp which reminded Spike of Pinkie Pie. “Really? You mean it? Oh, that would be wonderful!”

“Wait, what?” Spike balked, eyes going wide as the implications of what he just said hit him for real. “Well, I - I didn’t mean, that is - I should probably explain -”

“Ooh!” Antioch squealed and clapped her claws. She stomped her feet in joy, switching between her left foot and her right, shaking the ground, as well as Spike. “This will be great!” Antioch scooped Spike up in one claw and the fish in the other. “Come on. Let's take you to your new home!”

Antioch marched, taking Spike back to her cave with the meal she had caught for him. She was so looking forward to getting him there and making sure he was comfortable!

“Okay.” Twilight and her friends had gone into the forest. “According to the locator spell, Spike is in a cave somewhere around this area, but I couldn't quite tell which cave it was. So I want us to split into groups of two, one with Rarity and one with me. Rarity and I will use magic to send out a flare when we find him.”

The girls nodded before splitting up. They searched the area, calling Spike's name.

“Spike! Spike!” Twilight shouted, her eyes drifting around the forest, keeping an eye out.

Some distance away, not too far from where Twilight Sparkle was searching, Spike was inside a cave, resting with his back on a polished rock acting as bed. His rock bed was surrounded by a multitude of natural gemstone deposits which sparkled comfortingly, like night lights.

Antioch came into the room, dropping another pile of fish from her mouth. Spike sat up and jumped out of his bed with zeal, crawling down the side of the rock to get to the fish. It was such a new and exciting flavor.

Spike picked up a fish and bit into it. Living with Antioch was great. He was waited on claw-and-foot, and between Antioch going out and hunting, along with the deposits in her cave, he had access to all the fish and gems he could ever want. It was all enough to make him forget he hadn’t been brought here entirely by choice.

Spike was gulping down his fish when he heard an unpleasant noise he didn't want to hear right now: the sound of Twilight's voice.

“Spike! Spike!”

“Spike, where are you?”

“COME BACK, SPIKE!”

That last one had to be Pinkie Pie, Spike thought. And the second being Fluttershy was a good bet.

Spike crossed his arms and sulked, turning away from the fish.

“Spikey?” Antioch asked, worried when Spike stopped eating his fish. “What's wrong?”

“It's nothing.” Spike looked away from her.

Antioch made a worried coo. “Are you sure? I don't want you to be upset.”

“It's fine … ” Spike put a and on his hand and sighed. “Okay. Do you remember when I mentioned I didn’t know where my parents were?”

“Of course! How else could I have taken you in?” Antioch asked with a warm smile.

“Well… that wasn’t… entirely true. I do have a mom, more or less. A girl I live with who takes care of me.” Spike pinched his his head while Antioch looked at him in confusion. “ Okay... here's what happened.” Spike said. “There was this girl that I used to like. Or maybe still like. Honestly, I'm not sure. But she's seeing someone else now, and today, she found out I did something that upset her. A lot. And I didn't know what to do, so I tried to go find the girl I'm dating right now to ask her for advice. Except the girl I live with disapproves of me dating the girl I'm dating.”

“Oh, I know what you mean.”

“Yeah. So they were having a big fight when I got there, and after the girl I’m dating left, the girl who I live with yelled at me. Pretty harshly. She… she said some pretty mean and rude stuff.” Spike rubbed at one of his arms. “I couldn't take it anymore and didn't know what to do, so I ran away from home and into the forest. That's when you found me. And now they're looking for me.”

Antioch scratched her head. “I'm confused. If this girl is as rude as you make her sound, why would she even want to look for you?”

“Well...” Spike turned away again. “She may have yelled herself hoarse at me, but she does care for me. We've been through a lot together. And I know… she does what she does because she cares, but… it still kinda smarts, you know?”

“Spike? Spike!”

Spike looked to the cave entrance. Twilight Sparkle was standing at the cave's lip, with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie by her side.

“Girls, we found him!” Twilight shouted to the outside of the cave. “Spike!” Twilight exclaimed, galloping into the cave. “I'm so glad I found you!”

“Intruders!” Antioch yelled. Twilight Sparkle halted as Antioch reared up, opened her mouth, and took in a deep breath, getting ready to breathe fire on the invaders.

“Wait!” Spike ran in front of Antioch and held his claws up. “Stop! This is the girl I was talking about! Granted, I'm not too happy to see her again...” Spike shot Twilight a dirty glare over his shoulder, causing an awkward reaction from Twilight. “But that doesn't mean I want you to fry her! Let me have a chance to talk to her.”

Antioch calmed down. She lowered herself and blew out a puff of smoke. “Oh, all right. The last thing I want would be to upset you, Spikey.”

“Spikey?” Twilight wondered while Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie joined her now that the dragon seemed to pose little danger.

“It's a long story.” Spike said. “What are you doing here?”

“I came here to bring you home, Spike.” Twilight brought a hoof over her heart. “And to apologize. I'm sorry about what I said. I still think you're being immature and that dating Celestia isn't a good idea, but that isn't a license to be mean to you. I-I shouldn't have insulted you and called you stupid. I'm sorry, Spike. I crossed a line. Can you forgive me?”

Spike rubbed his chin, squinting at the ceiling. “I don’t knoooow… you let me have it pretty hard earlier,” he spoke in a teasing voice.

Twilight looked at him with concerned eyes, her eyebrows forming a triangular shape as she worried about Spike's willingness to forgive her.

“Okay, okay, sorry. Just had to get back at you there.” Spike saw the worry on her face and decided to quit dragging this ordeal out. “I guess I can forgive you.”

“You can? Oh, that's wonderful, Spike, thank you! So, will you come back home?”

“Whoa now. I didn’t say I’d do that. Sure, maybe I didn’t intend for this to happen... ” Spike shrugged. He climbed back up on his rock bed. “But I'm living with Antioch now, and she gives me all the fish and gems I could ever eat. I’ve got a comfy bed, and she could use her fire breath to keep me warm. Why would I want to leave?”

“Oh, really?” Twilight asked with a healthy bit of skepticism. She seemed to be taking the idea Spike would try to replace her with Antioch rather well. “So Antioch is your mother now?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess.” Spike said. “She's always wanted a child, and I'm not coming back to Ponyville with Rarity and you there to judge me.”

“Uh-huh.” Twilight nodded. Fluttershy's and Pinkie's faces grew worried, but Twilight acted as though she had the situation in complete control. “So tell me, Spike. Does Antioch know your favorite flavor of ice cream and cupcake?”

“Well… no,” Antioch admitted. “But I can learn!”

“That's just one thing.” Spike said.

“Sapphire sprinkle, if it helps,” Twilight said. “Does she know your birthday?”

Spike raised a finger to answer, to object, but Antioch spoke over him.

“Noooo…”

“She can learn that, too,” Spike said.

Twilight continued to needle him. “What about your favorite lullabies? Can she sing them at the exact notes, just the way you like them?”

“Well, uh… no, no she doesn’t. I mean, she doesn’t know the the lullabies, and I don’t know if she could sing them the way I like…”

Twilight bore a well-deserved smug grin for her expert handling and manipulation of the situation before pushing it aside. “Besides, Spike. Think about Princess Celestia. What about the sapphire sprinkle cupcakes Pinkie Pie bakes for you? Watching Rainbow Dash do tricks and helping Fluttershy with her animals? I know I hurt you, Spike, but it’s time to stop this game and come home.”

“Spike…” Antioch said. “She’s right, Spike. You don’t belong here.” Antioch rubbed the back of her head. “And I guess I was being rather silly and impulsive.”

Spike sighed and walked towards Twilight. “You’re right, Twilight. I’ll come home.”

“That’s my dragon. Come here.” Twilight wrapped a leg around him and pulled him into a hug.

“Yes.” Antioch said, watching them go. “You should go home, Spike…” She sniffed. “Even if it breaks my heart.” She turned to face away from them before bursting into tears.

Twilight and Spike grimaced, as neither of them were sure what to do.

Fluttershy did. Forgetting about her fear of dragons for a moment, Fluttershy flew up to Antioch and put some comforting hooves on Antioch's jaw. “Please don't cry.” Antioch stopped crying, if only to hear what Fluttershy had to say.

“I'm sorry, but Spike belongs with us.”

“I know. I can see that now...” Antioch nodded, sniffing before turning away. “Mother always did say I got attached too easily…”

“But don't worry.” Fluttershy patted the side of Antioch's jaw. “I can tell you've got a big heart with lots of love, and somewhere out there, there's a nice boy dragon just waiting for an amazing lady dragon like you to come into his life!”

Antioch sniffled. She wiped a tear from her eye. “You really think so?”

“I know so. All you have to do is be patient. Can you do that?”

Antioch smiled and nodded. “All right. I'll try.”

“Good.”

Fluttershy removed herself from Antioch. Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike and Pinkie waved her goodbye. Antioch waved goodbye to them before going further into her cave to rest. Twilight and the others departed the cave.

As they walked, Spike ran up to Twilight's side. “I'm… sorry about running away from home.” He rubbed the back of his head. “You know. Again.”

“Don't be.” Twilight said. “I shouldn't have said those things to you, Spike. I feel awful. I still feel terrible I called you stupid. I was too critical.”

“No,” Spike said. “I am deluding myself. You were right. I didn't think this “dating Celestia” thing through very well. I am… living in a fantasy. In love with an idea of Celestia in my head who's the perfect replacement for Rarity instead of the real Celestia. But no more. I intend to fix it. One of these days, I'll sit down and have a talk with her. A real talk. A serious talk. Like the one we're having now. And then we’ll… I’ll… no, we’ll decide if we want to call if off, or if we want to try to start again under better circumstances and see if maybe there’s a spark in there somewhere… ”

Twilight giggled. “It's good to hear you're starting to take this seriously. Congratulations, Spike. You're growing into a real stallion.”

“Yeah...” Spike blushed at Twilight's words.

Twilight stopped walking.

“I want you to be happy, Spike. But I also want you to be safe.”

“Yeah, well… hey. Rarity, um, found out about what happened. With, you know, Hayseed and I and the lying about the bouquet. Do you think she'll forgive me?”

Twilight wrapped a leg around him and pulled him close. “Why don't you go find out?” Twilight pointed to Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack, coming to reunite with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy after going searching for Spike.

Rarity saw Spike and stopped in her tracks. She grimaced, remembering what happened earlier today.

Spike gulped. Twilight released him, and he ran up to Rarity.

The two of them stood there, staring at each other.

Spike gulped again and prepared to speak.

“I'm sorry.”

“I know.”

Spike offered up his claw. “Friends?”

Rarity stared at his claw. She hesitated for a moment, but she put her hoof into Spike's palm and shook it, signifying her forgiveness and acceptance of his apology. “Friends.”

Night was falling over Canterlot. Stars could be seen outside the window.

Inside a room designated for the express purpose of giving her somewhere to read in peace, Celestia was holding some scrolls in front of her with her magic, reading over the proposals presented to her today by nobles.

A flash of white light filled the room, which surprised Celestia and made her lose her grip on the parchment. The golden glow of her magic faded from them and the scrolls dropped to the ground.

Discord appeared, curled in the windowsill, a heart-shaped box in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. A miniature piano was hovering in the air above him.

“Hello, Discord,” Celestia said. “What a surprise.”

“Hello, Celestia,” Discord said.

“I must say, I wasn't expecting you.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “No pony ever is. Do you have a moment?”

“I don't know, Discord.” Celestia looked to the fallen scrolls on the floor. “I'm busy with some of these proposals and petitions.”

“Please?” Discord begged. “I'll just be a minute.”

Celestia regarded Discord. He had a great, wide smile and a look of hope in his eyes.

“Very well,” Celestia said.

“Excellent. Here, take this.” Discord handed Celestia the box. “And this.” He handed her the flowers. “And just sit back and relax.”

“This isn't some sort of scheme to take the Equestrian throne back from me, is it?” Celestia asked, regarding the flowers and box with suspicion. Discord might have put some kind of substance or oil on the flowers to hypnotize or knock her out, for instance.

“Oh no! Nothing of the sort.” Discord adjusted himself, grabbing the piano and re-positioning it to where he could play it. “Just a little something for my favorite Princess.”

“I'm your favorite, am I?” Celestia asked with a smirk.

“The one and only. Now, you just sit down, relax, and let me do all the work.” Discord used his magic to summon a top hat for him to wear and proceeded to play a tune on the piano, his claws running over the keys with a fiery speed.

Celestia sat on her haunches and enjoyed the show Discord was putting on for her. She used magic to lift the lid off the box and levitated out a chocolate from inside, popping it into her mouth before putting the lid back and pretending as if she had taken nothing from inside.

Discord continued to pound on the keys for a while, lifting his claws away from the piano for dramatic effect during intervals between notes. He played his tune from beginning to end, whereupon finishing, rather than simply teleport the piano away with a finger snap, he lifted it up and tossed the piano out the window, where the piano’s crashing, smashing keys played an out-of-tune funeral dirge for itself, with the musical accompaniment of an unfortunate, oddly conveniently-located cat yowling in pain.

Celestia gave Discord a stern glare.

“I'll clean that up,” Discord assured her. He took off his hat and bowed. “I hope you've enjoyed your entertainment for the evening, Princess. Well, I'm off!” Discord snapped his fingers and in a flash, he was wearing a janitor's outfit, complete with broom. In another flash, he was outside the window and went on a slow descent down to where his piano had landed.

Celestia turned away from the window. “Huh. How prodigiously odd of Discord.” It wasn't like him to stop by, play some music, and leave again without making a sarcastic comment or unreasonable demand.

Celestia looked again at the bouquet and box of chocolates in her hooves.

“Oh no.” Celestia groaned with realization. “No. I see what's going on here. Oh, Discord … why are you so stubborn?” Celestia placed the box of chocolates on a desk. “It didn't work then.”

Celestia threw the bouquet to the floor. She had half a mind to call a servant, give them some money, and have them buy and send a bouquet to Spike for little reason other than pure bitter-heartedness and trying to send Discord a spiteful message.

“It won't work now.”

Celestia brought her hoof down on the bouquet. Some of the petals on the flowers detached and flew off under the sudden pressure. Celestia grit her teeth, wanting to ground her hoof into the bouquet, to crush it and break all the stems of all the flowers inside. She sighed, unable to muster up the violent intent to do so. She picked up the only-partially ruined bouquet, lifted it to her muzzle and smelled the flowers. Letting out another sigh, Celestia placed the bouquet on the windowsill and turned to leave the room.

She doubled back to pick up the box of chocolates. One doesn’t let free chocolate go to waste, after all.

Author's Note

This chapter was proofread by my friend Troubleshooter, who asked me to make it known that their agreeing to proofread my story in no way meant they necessarily approved of the … odd pairings involved. Sadly, Troubleshooter had to bail out after doing this chapter for personal reasons.
Thus, this chapter was also proofread by Indeliblink, whose name confuses me because he used to by a different name, and the older was much easier to read and pronounce than they are currently using.

I had planned a different version of both the ending and Antioch’s ‘confrontation’ if you can call it that, with Twilight and friends, prior to Troubleshooter’s comments.

In the original ending, Celestia did stomp and crush the flowers, but Troubleshooter pointed out this was a bit mean, and thinking about it myself, Celestia wouldn’t do that.

In the original version, Antioch adopting Spike was all Spike’s voluntary, intentional idea, rather than just a thought which Antioch took too seriously, and he was a bit more argumentative with Twilight when she brought up all the things Antioch didn’t know about him, with Antioch cutely trying to guess when Twilight asked the questions. Twilight also didn’t bring up things like Celestia or Sugarcube Corner’s sapphire cupcakes, another change which came from Troubleshooter’s comments.

Other things Troubleshooter pointed out:

Ice cream for breakfast is kinda odd, but I can see Celestia doing that.
Antioch is named for the city’s involvement in The Crusades, but Troubleshooter pointed out that was a city closer to water. I could have renamed her “Medina’ but I’ve decided that I like the name of Antioch.

My Non-Proofreader-Related Notes

I had an idea about Celestia doing … something, but decided not to use because it seemed OOC for her. It’s been so long I forget what that was, though, but I think it might have been getting into a magic fight with Twilight.

I also decided not to go with an idea of making Spike’s apology to Rarity offscreen, what Spike actually said being left as something for the reader to imagine, though next chapter would still make it clear Rarity forgave him.

Confessions

Rarity opened the door to her boutique, closing it and locking it behind her. What a night! Searching for Spike in the Everfree Forest and rescuing--well, more like separating--him from the clutches--well, more like loving, well-intentioned but misguided claws--of Antioch. She could use a nice rest, and maybe a few snacks in lieu of dinner.

She walked into the kitchen and flipped the light switch.

Rarity gasped.

“Hayseed, what is all this?” Rarity asked, gesturing to the table. The table was finely made up, with a red tablecloth set over it, two candles burning, and a fine spread on the table.

Hayseed brought his hat over his chest. “Rarity, I am so sorry about not coming clean to you about Spike right away. So… I made this to help make up for it. I realize now I should have told you sooner. After I found about it myself, I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I felt like I would have been asking you to choose between him and me. Would you keep going out with me and ignore what he did? Or would you forgive him, but at my expense? I didn't want to make you choose. I didn't want to be the one to come between you and Spike. I didn't want to... complicate your friendship.” Hayseed looked at her with soulful eyes. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Rarity narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. “I'm glad you've learned your lesson from this, Hayseed.” She swept her eyes across the table.

Hayseed, being a gentleman, pulled out a chair for her. Rarity took her seat.

“It's a start, I suppose,” Rarity said.

Hayseed smirked. He moved to the other side of the table and took the lid off a platter, showing a desert inside – a cake decorated with intricate frosting – and he held up a bottle of champagne.

Rarity smiled.

“A very good start.”

“So then, only after he had burned down all of the Earth ponies' crops, did he finally, finally admit I was right,” Celestia concluded her tale. “He couldn't handle it.”

“Ah ha ha!” Spike rocked in his seat, slapping his knee. “I can't believe you let Star Swirl take control of the sun for a whole day just to prove a point!”

“Oh, I was quite mischievous back in my younger days. You wouldn't believe some of the things I got up to,” Celestia said. “Nowadays, I try to keep more of a lid on it, and do things far more… subtly.”

“Don't I know it,” Spike raised his glass. “Some of the things you put Twilight through… I can't remember, do you ever give her straight answers?”

“I do my best not to,” Celestia answered. “After all, what kind of teacher would I be if I give my student all the answers?” Celestia and Spike shared a laugh until Celestia let out a sigh.

“Sometimes you have to be blunt, though,” Celestia added. “There have been a few mishaps when I had to talk to Twilight Sparkle directly.”

“Yeah,” Spike nodded. “Remember when she cast the Want It, Need It spell on that doll, and you had to come fix everything?”

“How could I forget?” Celestia rolled her eyes. “But at least everypony learned something from it, wouldn't you say?”

“Yup.” Spike took a sip of his glass.

“Well.” Celestia put her hooves on the table and pushed her seat out. “This has been a lovely dinner, Spike, but it's getting late.” She looked out the window. “I think it's about time young dragons should be getting into bed, don't you?”

“No way,” Spike said. “I'm as awake as an...” Spike let out a yawn mid-sentence. “An-an eagle.”

Celestia gave him a playful glare.

“Yeah… you're right.” Spike turned and hopped out of his chair. “Well, good night.”

“Good night.”

“We should do this again sometime.” Spike yawned again as he walked up the stairs. “It was nice you could come over… especially after the day I had.”

“I'm glad Twilight Sparkle saw fit to let me come over,” Celestia said.

“Hey.” Spike stopped, throwing his arms over the rail. “After everything we went through today, she owed it to me. Well, good night. I mean it this time.” Spike pointed at her with raised thumbs, and clicked his tongue while winking at her.

Celestia chuckled. She waved Spike goodbye as he went up to the second floor of the library. She turned her attention to the table and used her magic to gather the dishes, levitating them into the air and ferrying them over to the sink to be washed later.

Celestia turned to leave the room.

“Thank you,” Twilight her entrance into the room. “For putting those up, I mean.”

“You're welcome,” Celestia said, trying to remain civil even if the drop in her eyebrows showed she wasn't pleased to see Twilight again so soon.

The two of them stood there in silence, neither of them saying a word. Neither of them would make the first move needed to mend the fences they had knocked over.

Celestia scraped her hoof and coughed, wanting to say something, but at a loss for what to say. Perhaps if she made enough movement, it would provoke Twilight into saying something.

Twilight squinted at her. She didn't seem to get the hint Celestia wanted to have this conversation, and wanted to have it now. Remaining silent, she walked through the room, passing Celestia on her way to go clean up the dishes.
As Twilight passed, Celestia coughed again.

“What?” Twilight snapped, whipping around and yelling at her. “What is it that you want?”

Celestia said nothing, merely staring at Twilight with an inquisitive expression, as if asking Twilight, 'Are you sure that's the tone you want to take with me for this talk?'

Twilight sighed, closing her eyes and putting a hoof on her forehead.

“I'm sorry,” Twilight said, sitting down on her haunches. “I didn't mean to snap at you. I just… ugh.” Twilight covered her eyes. “It's a lot to take in… So much has been going on today, between me and you, between Spike and me and that dragon… and Applejack has something that's bothering her. I'm just tired, and-and confused and uncertain about a lot of things right now.”

“I see,” Celestia turned her head and moved to go towards the door. She lifted one hoof up and took a step before halting. She grimaced and bit her lip, hanging her head so her colorful mane hid her eyes and whatever emotion may have been in them.

“If there is… anything else you want to criticize about mine and Spike's relationship… now is the time to speak up about it.” Celestia turned her head back to Twilight, letting her eyes be seen again.

“But that's just it!” Twilight snapped. “You don't have a relationship! You have a one-sided crush that you've been feeding and indulging worse than Rarity ever did when Spike was still obsessed with her! He's rebounding! You're his rebound! And I don't know what's worse – that he can't see it, or that you can't! Do you even realize how much in love with you he thinks he is? He's serious about this! Do you two even know where you'll be in a week? A month? A year? He's convinced himself he's infatuated with you, and maybe those feelings are real, but he shouldn't be acting on them so soon after what happened with Rarity! And the worst part of it is, you don't even seem to realize he's serious! You're treating this like it's a game!”

Celestia lifted her hoof and drew back in shock. She looked around the room, blinking as she tried to take in what Twilight was telling her.

“I-I'm sorry.”

“Spike's feelings are not a game, and furthermore – wait, what did you just say?” Twilight paused, raising an eyebrow.

“You're right. You're absolutely right. I have been treating this like a game.” Celestia looked away from Twilight. “I-I had no idea Spike's feelings for me were so… deep and complex. I thought this was a passing affection--a brief crush which he would entertain for awhile and then move on from. I mean, I'm not right for him. Anypony could see that. But I see now… this is a far more grave and serious matter than I realized.” Celestia looked back at Twilight. “Again, I am sorry. I promise, I will talk to Spike about this tomorrow.”

Twilight was stunned silent. She put a hoof over her mouth, unsure what to say. She looked down to the floor. She looked up at Celestia, tears forming in her eyes.

“Thank you.” Twilight wiped away the tears. “That's… that's all I wanted to hear you say.”

Celestia nodded.

They turned away from each other, separating and going on their respective paths, Twilight going to her own bed, Celestia going to return to
Canterlot.

The dishes could wait until morning.

The next day, Spike went to help Twilight with the dishes. Twilight was surprised, raising an eyebrow as Spike came up to the sink, having intended to wash them all herself with magic. Seeing Spike's eager-to-please smile, though, Twilight relaxed and let him help. He climbed up and began scrubbing.

Not too long into it, there was a knock on the door. Twilight and Spike looked at each other, wondering who it could be at this hour. “Come in,” Twilight told them.

The door opened slowly, and Celestia's head poked through. “Hello, Twilight Sparkle. Might I come in?”

Twilight glanced at Spike. “Yes, of course.” Celestia entered, walking up to the two of them. “I'll leave you two alone. I'll be upstairs,” Twilight informed them before leaving.

Spike scratched his head, watching as Twilight's tail bobbed behind her. “Well, that was weird. Wonder what that was all about?” He turned back to Celestia. “Hello, Princess.”

“Hello, Spike,” Celestia greeted him, a touch of unease in her voice. “Might I trouble you for an early lunch?”

Spike scratched his chin. “Seems a bit early for that, but sure!”

“Thank you...”

Spike went to the stove and got ready to prepare a meal, leaving the dishes behind. Celestia sat on her haunches and waited patiently for him to finish. She glanced towards the window, admiring the light of the sun she controlled coming through while she waited for time to pass.

“Done!” Spike called out, carrying out a steaming bowl to the table. “It's ready, Princess! Come and get it.”

Celestia smiled and went over the table, taking a seat opposite of Spike. He spooned some salad onto Celestia's plate before serving himself.

“Well, dig in!” Spike gestured to the food, proud of his cooking.

Celestia ate mechanically, lifting one forkful of food to her mouth, chewing it, and moving onto the next, going through the motions without any heart or hunger behind it.

“Hey, are you okay?” Spike asked, noticing her odd behavior. “You don't seem to be enjoying yourself...”

“I'm fine.”
“Okay. If you say so,” Spike said. “You know, I gotta say, it's really amazing that you could arrange your schedule so that you can visit not only last night, but today, too.”

“Mm-hmm.” Celestia stirred her fork through the food, ceasing to eat.

“You know…” Spike waved his fork through the air. “I don’t mean to ask you anything, but it would be nice if we could figure out a way to get Twilight off my back... I love her, but she-”

“Spike.” Celestia tossed her fork down with a clatter. What Spike was saying was making this too much for her to take in any longer. “I think it's time we had a talk.”

Spike stopped the bite he was about to take.

“Don't get me wrong, Spike. The last few dates we had were pleasant. I've quite enjoyed myself. But if we're going to keep going, we need to have a serious discussion about this relationship is heading. Where are we going to be in a week? A month? A year?”

“Ooh...” Spike groaned, dropping his silverware and slapping his palm to his forehead. “Twilight put you up to this, didn't she?” Spike stomped out of his chair.

“I fail to see how that has any relevance,” Celestia said. “Whether Twilight Sparkle prompted this line of questioning doesn't matter. Tell me, Spike, if she had, would it make them less valid? This is a conversation we need to have, Spike. Questions that we need to answer.”

Spike turned away, crossing his arms and giving a huff.

“How deep do your feelings for me really run, Spike?” Celestia asked. “Do you love me for me? Or did I just seem like an option because I was a light for you in your dark time? And what about Rarity? Don't you still have feelings for her? If the chance arose for you to be with her, would you leave me for her?”

“No!” Spike insisted. “Maybe! I don't know.” Spike sighed and rubbed his temples. “Look, I don't know… how I'm supposed to feel about Rarity anymore. It's… confusing.” Spike rested his arm on the chair. “I've… never felt anything like it before.”

“Spike, if I'm to continue this relationship, I need to know you're going to give it your best.”

Spike walked up to Celestia, taking her hoof and getting down on his knees.

“Princess Celestia...” Spike spoke up.. “Maybe I'm still young, maybe I still don't know a lot of stuff. I've got a lot to learn about relationships and dating. But I give my word, for as long as I'm in this relationship with you, I will remain committed to you. I'm committed. I'm committed!”

Celestia blinked, overwhelmed. A smile lightly crept up on her face. “I'm impressed, Spike. That was very mature of you.”

Spike scratched the back of his neck. “Was it?”

“Yes” Celestia got up, stepping out of her chair. “It takes a great deal of maturity to admit you still have a lot to learn. Come.” Celestia jerked her head out the door. “Why don't we go out for ice cream?”

“I'd like that.”

Celestia gestured to the door. “After you.”

“No, no!” Spike waved his hands. He bowed and gestured towards the door. “Ladies first.”

Celestia chuckled. “Such a gentleman.” She walked out the door, holding it open for Spike.

As the two of them left together, Twilight Sparkle watched from the top of the stairs. She rested her head on the rail, smiling softly, pleased with the results of Celestia's talk and feeling far more at ease with Spike dating her. Twilight gave a content sigh before turning and going up to her room. Maybe she would relax and unwind with a book.

She went to her bed and hopped onto it, the mattress bouncing as she landed on her back. She adjusted herself and got snug and comfy.

Her eyes widened with realization.

She still hadn't finished the dishes.

Applejack rested her knee on the windowsill, looking out the window and admiring the beauty of the outside world. Birds singing and fluttering, the sun casting its glorious, illuminating light over the horizon, leaves billowing and rustling in the breeze…

“You should tell her.”

Applejack lifted up from the windowsill, looking over her shoulder at Big Macintosh.

“I'm serious, Applejack,” Big Macintosh said. “Y'all should tell Twilight Sparkle how you feel.”

“Yeah...” Applejack let out a sigh and casting her gaze back to the window. “I probably should...”

“The longer you keep this in, the more it's gonna eat away at you.” Big Macintosh said.

“Yeah, you're right.”

“You know I can't stand looking at you like this… all… contemplative and staring out the window into space. You need to tell her.”

“You're right.” Applejack admitted to him. “I should tell her. I should tell her.” Applejack, feeling a sudden surge of determination swell up
inside her, smacked the windowsill with her hoof. “I should!”

Big Macintosh's eyes widened, not expecting this sudden change of attitude. Where had this come from?

“Yeah!” Applejack said to herself. “I told her I had something on my mind. She already knows I got something I want to share. All I have to do is march over there, and let her know her I'm ready to talk. I'm ready to...” Applejack gulped, struggling with her words. “To confess.”

Applejack swiveled her hat. “Thanks, big brother. Y'all have been a big help.” Applejack rushed over and gave Big Macintosh a hug before galloping out the door.

Big Macintosh blinked. “Uh… what just happened?”

Applejack galloped across Ponyville, dashing straight towards Twilight's library, letting nothing stop or deter her. She ignored all distractions, including the doubts whispering and swimming around her mind.

Arriving at the great tree, which, in Applejack's feverish mood, seemed far larger than it truly was, Applejack gulped, getting nervous.

“Buh.” Applejack shook her head, pushing the dark cloud threatening to form in her head aside. She took in a deep breath. “Okay, Applejack. You're a big girl. You can do this.”

Applejack went up to the door and rapped her hoof on it. “Twilight? Twilight Sparkle, are y'all there?”

The door creaked open, showing Twilight's face. “Oh! Hey, Applejack. I was just finishing up the dishes. What are you doing here?” Twilight scraped her hoof. “Are you… ready to tell me that something you wanted to tell me, but couldn't?”

“I was hoping to talk to you about that, yeah.” Applejack admitted. “But not right now. I was wondering...” She put a hoof behind her neck. “...if y'all would be interested in going out to eat with me tonight. Maybe even swing by and grab a drink?”

“A drink?” Twilight asked, leaning on the door frame and giving Applejack a mischievous smile. “Applejack, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to flirt with me!”

Applejack gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her head. “Heh heh heh… yeah, well. You know me. Always saying silly stuff… but what do ya say? Will you do it?”

Applejack moved aside, letting Twilight walk past her before taking up Twilight's side. Twilight didn't notice the submissiveness, the... courting nature inherent in Applejack's gesture. The two of them walked together, side by side, away from the library.

“I'd be happy to go out with you tonight.” Twilight said. She lifted her gaze to the sky, noticing the sun beginning to go down. “Still seems a little early, though… oh, what the hay.” Twilight stepped out, giving the door a light buck behind her to close it. “After the last few days I've been having, I deserve to give myself a little treat. Let's eat! So, did you have anywhere in mind?”

“I've got an idea… this nice pub on the other side of town.“

“A pub?” Twilight asked. “Goodness, Applejack, how adult of you!” Twilight held a hoof in front of her mouth in feigned shock before breaking into a quiet laugh.

“I-I'm sorry, is that wrong?” Applejack stuttered. “We don't have to go there if you don't want. We could always--”

“Applejack, relax. I'm just kidding,” Twilight said. Her ears flopped down. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. The pub is fine.”

“You sure? We don't have to if you don't want to.”

“Yes. We're two mature adults, aren't we?” Twilight asked. “I'm pretty sure we can handle ourselves at a pub, especially with a strong pony like you around.”

Applejack smiled nervously, shrugging. The two of them continued walking.

“Again, I'm sorry about teasing you. I didn't meant to hurt your feelings. Say, are you feeling okay?” Twilight asked. “You're acting just a little bit strange today.”

“I'm fine.”

“Okay. If you say so. But you know me, always worrying about my friends!”

“It's fine, Twilight.”

Applejack tilted her hat, adjusting it so the brim covered her eyes.

“It's one of the things I love about ya...”

Inside Carousel Boutique, Rarity used her magic to hold a feather duster and do some light cleaning. Make no mistake, she was no stay-at-home housewife. But still, that was no excuse for a proper lady to tolerate the excess accumulation of filth in her home.
Hayseed came into the building and slammed the door behind him, panting and tired, his eyes wide with fear.

“Hayseed?” Rarity asked, walking into the room. “What's wrong?”

“My business just went under,” Hayseed said. He brought his foreleg over his eyes. “All my stocks collapsed. All my investments... backfired. I'm broke. Ruined. In the red! Oh, it's gonna take me weeks to recover... if I recover at all!” Hayseed took in a deep breath, bringing his hat over his chest. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry?” Rarity asked. “Whatever could you be sorry for, darling?”

“One of the reasons I became a businesspony... was to impress you, Rarity.” Hayseed placed his hat back on. “I wanted you to like me, so I... I made myself a businesspony and got in with the elite crowd. I made myself a pony you could be proud of. And, I just figured... without my business, without my money, if I wasn't... special... you... you wouldn't want to be with me anymore.” Hayseed turned his head aside.

“Oh, Hayseed.”

Hayseed was surprised when he felt Rarity's hoof cup his chin and turn his head towards her. Rarity leaned forward and gave him a kiss.
“Do you really think the only reason I love you is for money?” Rarity asked. “Materialistic though I can be, I'm not so shallow as to leave you for that. No, I love you because you're a true gentleman. Because you're… everything I ever wanted in a stallion. You're nice and earnest and polite. I mean, just look at the whole fiasco regarding Spike. You should have told me right away, but I know you did what you did with the best of intentions.”

Rarity snuggled up to him, resting her head on his chest, her head beneath his chin.

“You're free to stay here with me for as long as it takes for your business to recover.” Rarity said. She separated from him, looking him in the eyes and placing a hoof on his shoulder. “And even if it doesn't, I make more than enough to support both of us. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Rarity gave him a peck on the cheek. “I'll be upstairs if you need me. Feel free to come along for some... cheering up.” Rarity leered at him before walking up the stairs.

Hayseed blushed. He adjusted his hat. “I... may just take you up on that.”

Celestia and Spike entered into the library, the two of them laughing their merry hearts out, holding up ice cream cones to their mouths.

“Oh ho ho ho!” Celestia laughed, resting a hoof on her forehead while her cone floated around her head. “I can't believe that actually happened! Did Twilight really do that? I mean, really?”

“Yup!” Spike licked his cone. “And you know what the real kicker is? Two weeks later, she did it again.”

“I would have thought Pinkie Pie would have learned not to trust Twilight around the meringue after the first time.”

Spike tried to stifle his laughter. The two of them burst into fits.

“Hahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Hahaha... oh.” Spike exhaled, taking in a breath after so much laughing. “You know, it's been really great having you around, Princess.”

“Has it now?” Celestia asked. “I can't imagine why...” She rolled her eyes upwards. “I mean, it's not like I'm a beautiful, funny, intelligent princess whose high standing can be used to get you the things you want, is it?”

Spike chuckled a little.

Celestia glanced out the window, noticing Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flying by. “Hmm. I wonder what they're doing out at this hour?”

There was a knock on the door.

“Who could that be?” Spike wondered.

Celestia approached and opened the door with her magic, stepping outside.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash; hello, Fluttershy.” Celestia greeted them. “I just saw you fly by.”

“Hello, Princess Celestia,” Fluttershy lowered her body, giving a due bow.

“Yeah. We were just passing by.” Rainbow Dash said. “We were talking about Hayseed.”

“What about Hayseed?” Celestia asked. “Rainbow Dash?”

“What?” Rainbow Dash shook her head, snapping out of some kind of daze. “Sorry. I guess I'm just still not used to having you around so much. But as long as we're here, we might as well give you the heads-up.”

“Hayseed's business has gone under.” Fluttershy informed them..

“Yeah. His stocks crashed, and I think he said he was, like, going to have to file bankruptcy or something?” Dash turned to Fluttershy for
Fluttershy to make any corrections.

“He's terribly upset about it,” Fluttershy said. “So if you see him, try not to bring it up.”

“He's going to stay with Rarity until he gets back on his hooves. Just thought you'd should know. See ya later!” Rainbow Dash waved.

“Good night, Princess Celestia. Good night, Spike.” Fluttershy said. She and Rainbow Dash flew away.

“Hmm.” Celestia closed the door as the two pegasi fluttered away. “So his business has gone under...”

“Say...” Spike began scratching at his chin and staring into his ice cream as if he saw his reflection within it. “Do you think... now that Hayseed's business has gone under, there's a chance that I could... maybe win Rarity back?”

Spike turned around, and when he saw the disappointed and stern look on Celestia's face, he realized his mistake. It was almost motherly, the way she cast her gaze down on him, as though she was unhurt by his mistake personally, but wanted to see better from him. She wasn't mad, just disappointed.

“No, no, wait!” Spike rushed to correct his errors, waving his claws in panic. “I didn't mean it! It just slipped out! It was a moment of weakness!”

“I'm sorry, Spike.” Celestia said, closing her eyes and turning her nose up. “But I cannot, in good conscience, continue to support a relationship where the other party doesn't seem to know who he's really love in with. If we're going to continue this, I need you to be in control of your emotions. I need you to be sure of yourself.”

Celestia opened the door. She glared at her ice cream cone, before gently setting it down on its base on the floor.

“I need you to be sure it's me you want.”

“No, wait!”

Celestia left, slamming the door shut behind her. The entire building shook, and the ice cream cone which Celestia had so gently set down rattled and tumbled before falling over, spilling its ice cream all over the floor and cracking the cone it was held in. Twilight was going to want him to clean that up, since she would hold him responsible for Celestia's mess by proxy, but it would have to wait for now.

Spike ran out the door, dropping his ice cream as well. He dashed blindly out into the middle of the town square, bumping into a pony's chest.
“I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going – Rarity?” Spike asked.

“Ah, yes,” Rarity said, turning to him, irritation apparent in her eyes. “Hello, Spike. You know, I was on my way to pick up something to make for dinner for Hayseed and I, and you know who I ran into? Princess Celestia, of all ponies. And you know what she told me? She told me that you were under this foolish notion that, now that Hayseed is having a difficult time with his business, you would be free to compete for my affections! To steal me away and sweep me off my hooves now that Hayseed doesn't have anything monetary to offer me!”

“Well, I...”

“Don't.” Rarity held her hoof out. “I'm not interested in hearing you try to deny it or rationalize it. I can't believe you, Spike! Do you really think I would break up with Hayseed over money? Specifically, his lack thereof? How shallow do you think I am?”

“I...”

“Don't even bother.” Rarity turned away from him. “I'm not interested in hearing your petty excuses. Or do you really think that I would believe your word over Princess Celestia's? I'm not sure what's been going on in your life right now, but I think you need to have a serious reevaluation of your priorities. Don't come over to the Carousel Boutique for some time. I reserve the right to refuse service to my customers if I deem them... unruly.”

“But-”

“Good night, Spike,” Rarity said and walked away.

Spike stood there, stunned and silent. He wandered aimlessly around town, until he arrived at the edge of a pond with rocks and lily pads around him.

His claws sinking to his sides and going over his non-existent pockets, Spike stared at his reflection. His fists shook with rage.

He reached down and picked up a rock, and threw it across the water, ripples appearing in the water as the stone bounced across. Twilight's words played out in his mind.

“WHY AM I SO STUPID?”

At the pub, Twilight and Applejack sat the counter. Applejack lifted up her mug of root beer to her mouth and took a drink while Twilight picked a piece of edible straw from their appetizer and ate it. After munching it down, Twilight turned to see Applejack wearing a beard and mustache made of foam.

“Ha ha ha!”

“What?” Applejack asked. She looked down and noticed the mass of bubbles arranged around her face. “Oh.” She took her leg and wiped the foam off. “Did I get it?”

“You got it.” Twilight assured her, even though there were still a few bubbles lingering on Applejack's chin. They soon popped, neatly taking care of themselves.

“Thank you, Applejack.”

“Thank me? What for?”

“For taking me out tonight. I didn't realize how much I needed this. Especially after what's been going on the last few days, with Spike and Celestia and... you, a little bit.” Twilight gave Applejack a concerned glance.

Applejack felt awkward and brushed the side of her neck. “Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry.”

“But we'll take care of that tonight, won't we?” Twilight asked, slapping Applejack on the back.

Applejack chuckled. “Yeah... of course.”

Celestia walked up to a creek, water running down the river. She gazed up at the stars and puffed out a sigh.

Poor Spike. I had such high expectations for you... I suppose more than would be fair. Celestia thought. You're still young. Perhaps I was too hard on him...

There was a flash of light which caused Celestia to raise her wing to shield her eyes, and Discord appeared before her.

“Why, hello, Celestia.” Discord greeted her, resting his cheeks on his hands while his tail wiggled around.

“It's Princess Celestia to you,” Celestia corrected him, sighing when she realized there was little point in trying to correct Discord. “What do you want, Discord?”

“Oh, a little birdie told me you were disappointed by your boyfriend just now,” Discord said, holding up a canary on his finger which he produced from nowhere. The canary let out a horrific, ear-splittingly shrill screech before flying away.
Celestia sighed. Figures that a being of Discord's nature would learn about something like that so quickly.

“What of it?”

“Oh, you know,” Discord said, twirling around in the air. “I was just going to offer you a little company. After all, if you need a shoulder to cry on, after your boyfriend's mistreated you so...” Discord drew himself up to full height, using his magic to dress himself in a blue raincoat and hat while a face made of licorice cried chocolate milk tears onto him. “Well, your old flame is here for you. Maybe we could go to a restaurant or something, and you could eat some comfort food. You do like your sweets, don't you, Princess?”

Celestia brought a hoof over her face. She was tired, it was late, and Discord was going to keep talking and annoying her until she did something to make him stop. The fact he was, in his own way, asking her on a date was transparent, as were his motives for doing so.

“Yes.” Celestia answered.

“Yes? I-I'm sorry, yes?” Discord asked, his raincoat disappearing in a magic sparkle, causing his fur to get soaked with chocolate milk. He reached up and pushed the licorice face to the side, where the chocolate tears from the licorice splashed and dispersed into the river. “Yes to what?”

“Yes, Discord. I will go out with you.” Celestia said.

“You will?!” Discord exclaimed, his voice brimming with surprise and excitement. “Oh, goodness! I didn't mean to – I was just messing with you! I wasn't expecting you to say yes! But wait...” Discord pulled at his goatee. “Aren't you dating Spike? How will he feel about this?”

“I beg your pardon?” Celestia asked. “I am a thousand-year old princess! I am free to go out with and date whom I choose! And... I choose to go out on a date with you, Discord.”

“Well, when you put it that way...”

Celestia looked up at him. “Take me somewhere nice, Discord.”

“I know just the place.” Discord reached over and wrapped an arm around Celestia's neck. “There's this great new restaurant that just opened in Canterlot. Very fancy, very posh, good desserts. I think you'll like it.”

Discord snapped his fingers, and both he and Celestia disappeared in a twinkle.

Twilight and Applejack paid their tab and walked out of the pub, still chuckling and laughing and enjoying themselves. They wandered around until they came across a bridge built over a river.

They went up the bridge, stopping in the middle and resting their legs and heads over the edge, gazing down at the water.

“Thanks again, Applejack,” Twilight said. “This has been a great night.”

“Yup,” Applejack adjusted her hat. “I'm... real happy to hear y'all say that, Twilight.”

Twilight turned her head over to Applejack, resting her knee on the bridge. “So, are you ready to tell me that thing you wanted to tell me?”

“I...” Applejack sighed. “Yes, Twilight. I’m ready to tell you the thing I wanted to tell you.”

“Yeah, that's not convoluted at all.” Twilight bumped Applejack in the side. Applejack chuckled. “So, what is it?”

Applejack stared back down at the water. She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “I...”

“I love you, Twilight.”

Twilight scrunched up her eyebrows. “That's it? I love you too, you silly filly.” Twilight playfully smacked Applejack's hat, knocking its brim over
her eyes. “You didn't have to get us all worked up over that.”

“No, I mean...” Applejack righted the hat and turned to Twilight. “I really love you, Twilight. As in, I am in love with you.”

“Ha,” Twilight laughed, until she saw Applejack's expression. “Oh.” Realization kicked in at last. “Ooh.”

“For so long, I've admired you... You're smart, you're pretty, and you're so cute when you get passionate about something... When it comes to being there for your friends, you always give it your all… one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time. For a long time, I thought I might have a chance. Sure, you were pretty and smart and educated and from out of town, and I was a farmer, but I figured I could make it past all that. But then...”

Applejack looked away. “Then y'all became a princess. A princess! I figured there was no way I could compete with that. I've been so afraid of telling you. I mean, you're royalty now. You could have almost anypony you want! Foreign princes, a knight, a professor and I... I'm just a simple mud pony.” Applejack closed her eyes and bowed her head low.

“But I realize now... that I can't let myself be ruled by fear,” Applejack said. “We ain't ever gonna get past this if I don't come clean. But it's out there now, and you know the truth. The truth that I... I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack lifted her hat off her head and brought it over her chest. “So, what do you say? Do y'all think a high-falutin' princess like you could love a simple country pony like me?”

“Oh, Applejack!” Twilight placed a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. “You're being so silly! I would never not love you just because you're a 'country pony'!”

“Wha-really?” Applejack asked, putting her hat back on. “You mean it? You love me?” Applejack bore a cautious smile, stars forming in her eyes.

Twilight backed away. “I, uh, well... Applejack, I... never said that.”

“You didn't? Oh, okay, yeah. I guess you didn't. So, say it now, Twilight! Say you love me like I do.”

“I... can't, Applejack.”

Applejack's eyebrows shot up. “What – what do you mean?”

Twilight backed away another step.

“Twilight?” Applejack asked.

Twilight continued to back away.

“Twilight,” Applejack growled. “Y'all better start talking sense here soon, 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna--”

“Applejack, I... don't swing that way.”

Applejack blinked, taking this in.

“No.” Applejack said. No, no, no. That can't be true. It can't be. All this time... all this buildup, the heartache, the yearning... the longing out the window, the lectures by Big Macintosh, all the drinking with Rarity... and all for what? To lead up to... this? That, after so long, after all the time she spent building herself up and preparing for the big confession, she got to learn she and Twilight were... incompatible?

“No,” Applejack repeated. “No, no, no! That can't be true. It can't be true! Say it ain't so, Twilight!”

Twilight continued to step back.

“I'm sorry, Applejack. I wish things could be different...”

Twilight's horn glimmered and cast off a light. There was a flash and hum, and Twilight Sparkle disappeared into the night.

“Twilight!” Applejack snapped. She ran towards the space Twilight was previously occupying. “Get back here! We need to sort this out!
Twilight!”

Applejack raised her head up, screaming to the heavens.

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE, Y'ALL GET BACK HERE, YA COWARD!”

Applejack brought her head down, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Come back...”

Author's Note

It does feel a bit repetitive with Spike putting his foot in his mouth again. Oh look! Spike offended Rarity again and has to earn her forgiveness!... again! But this should be the last time. I think. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully. I hope.

I really hope, because when even the author is realizing he’s re-using a plot point... it should be fairly obvious something has gone wrong.
The pub Twilight and Applejack went to based on my own experiences with a pub. If it's inconsistent with yours, well, obviously we went to a different pub. Efficient edible straws! Soon to be followed by edible cups!

So, in effect, the first “arc” of the Color of Royalty ends, because everything else? Has been leading up to this. This chapter, right here. This chapter that's intended to tug at the heartstrings and twist in the knife more than any of the ones that before it.

Now I just need to figure out where the ones after it are supposed to go...

This chapter was proofread by Indeliblink on Fimfiction! Give 'em a big round of applause, everybody!

Trust and Tryst

Hayseed entered Rarity’s house after going out and buying a bouquet, part of the long process of not only earning Rarity’s forgiveness, but also getting back into her good graces.

Hayseed was perplexed when he returned to find all the lights off and the house dark.

“Hello?” Hayseed called into the dark, empty house before flipping on the light switch. “Is anyone there?”

Hayseed picked up on the sounds of sobbing, of depressed mares crying their hearts out. It sounded as if it was coming from below the house.

Hayseed knew Rarity kept some fine drinks around, so he went to the wine cellar. The sounds of crying increased exponentially when he opened the door.

“Hello?” Hayseed called into the cellar, light shining behind him as he descended down the stairs.

There, laying on the floor with the social graces of homeless hobos, Hayseed found Applejack and Rarity sitting with their backs to a wine barrel, each of them crying and upset, taking turns pouring the other drinks into wine glasses as they drowned their sorrows. Applejack suffered in complete silence, the only sound she made when she popped off the cork of the wine bottle and clinked her glass, tears streaming down her face. Hayseed got the impression if he asked Applejack why she was crying, she would deny she was. Rarity, by contrast, wailed and wailed, a waterfall of tears gushing from her eyes as high-pitched noises escaped from her warbling mouth.

“Er.” Hayseed said. “Could I ask what you two ladies are doing down here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Rarity asked, pouring herself another drink and gulping it down. “We’re turning to alcohol to cover our pain! Oh, we’re so upset!” Rarity brought her hoof over forehead.

“Okay.” Hayseed said, “Mind if I ask why you two ladies are upset?”

Applejack said nothing, staring off into space.

“It’s Twilight,” Rarity said. “You know my dear friend Applejack has been nursing a big crush on her for some time.”

“Uh, yes, I do believe we discussed that.”

“And then when Applejack went to confess …” Rarity whined. “Twilight broke her heart! Just grabbed it out of her chest and crushed it into pieces in her cold, iron-clad Princess hoof! She yanked it out and shattered it!” Rarity grabbed Hayseed by the chest. “Shattered it, I tell you!”

“Eh, yes, I heard you the first time.”

“You see, it turns out… Twilight Sparkle... doesn’t like girls that way!” Rarity said. “And what’s worse, Twilight didn’t even have the gall to stick around to survey the aftermath of her carnage! She said her piece, and then she left before Applejack could say anything or cry for help!”

“Calm down, Rarity.” Applejack said, breaking her long silence. “It wasn’t that bad. Sure, it didn’t go the way I hoped... ” Applejack gave a contemplative stare to her wine. “And sure, I won't deny that I'm hurtin', and taking it pretty hard. But y’all are making it sound like she went out of her way to hurt me. Twilight … wasn’t prepared to hear what I had to say, and she did her best to get out of a bad situation, that’s all.”

“No.” Rarity shook her head, resting against the wine barrel. “I’m afraid it’s not quite simple as that, Applejack. I simply cannot forgive Twilight for rebuffing you after you’ve pined away for her for so long.”

“What?” Applejack said. “Are y’all saying she should love me back just because I loved her for a long time without telling her? Rarity, that’s not fair to Twilight, and you know it’s not. This isn’t one of your romance novels where everything turns out okay in the end, this is … life.” Applejack slumped back, staring into her wine again. “And things don’t always go the way you want them to in life. And all you can do … is accept it and move on.” Applejack looked upwards, remembering other losses of hers. Lost chances, missing opportunities. “Or get stuck living in the past.”

“I can’t accept it,” Rarity said, jumping to her hooves. “I won’t accept it!” Rarity tossed her wine glass aside, and it flew across the room before falling on the floor and shattering.

“Rarity! Be careful with those things.” Hayseed said.

Rarity’s walk was staggered, but she was able to make her way up the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Hayseed asked.

“I’m going to go give Twilight Sparkle a piece of my mind!” Rarity announced.

“Rarity, you’re half-drunk!” Applejack protested.

“Only half! Hic!” Rarity responded, stumbling on the steps, but recovering. “I’ll be sober by the time I get there!”

“Oh…” Applejack groaned, placing a hoof on her face. “Doggone it, Rarity. Why do you have to be so gosh-darned stubborn?”

Hayseed crossed his legs. “Well, Ma, I do believe I’m bearing witness to a pot calling a kettle black.”

Applejack chuckled. “Heh. True. Y’all want to join me?” Applejack gestured her cup to the wine bottle.

“Truth be told, I think I ought to take that away from you.” Hayseed said.

“Yeah, probably.” Applejack admitted.

“I’ll just take this bottle here then.” Hayseed lifted up the bottle. “But I know you’re upset, so I’ll leave you be. Stay as long as you’d like. I’ll clean up after you once you’re done.”

“Thanks.” Applejack said. She lifted the glass to her face. “Think I’ll finish this one off and then just… lie down here in the dark and feel sorry for myself.”

“Whatever you’d like.” Hayseed said as he deposited the wine bottle. He started going up the stairs. “Just as long as you don’t drink all our alcohol.” Hayseed winked at her.

Applejack smiled at him. Hayseed exited and closed the door to the cellar, leaving Applejack in the dark, where she was free to do exactly as she said she would and flopped down on her back, sobbing softly into the darkness.

“Twilight! Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!” Rarity knocked with a hoof of fury on Twilight’s door. “I need to talk to you!”

Twilight opened the door. “Oh. Hey, Rarity. What’s up?”

“Twilight Sparkle, I need to talk with you about a matter of grave importance and urgency.” Rarity informed her while keeping a professional attitude.

Twilight’s ears flopped down, knowing what Rarity meant. “Oh. You want to talk about Applejack, huh?” Twilight lowered her head and shrank back.

“Yes, indeed,” Rarity answered. “It was unfair of you to leave her like that. Don’t you know that Applejack has been wasting away, pining for you? Don’t you understand the seriousness, the consequences of what you did last night? It was completely unfair and totally brutish of you! I expected better of you, Twilight.”

“Oh, gee, Rarity, Twilight said, her ear twitching. “Thank you, thank you so much for the lecture. I badly needed that. Boy, did I need a reality check! I mean, it’s not like I understand what’s going on.”

Twilight stepped out of the house, walking with a tense posture which unnerved Rarity, prompting the latter to back away.

“After all, it would be unreasonable to expect that I’m fully aware of what I’ve done and what the effect it’s going to have on my friend is. I mean, it’s not like I’m a mature, functioning adult pony and a Princess who gets called away om diplomatic missions and who understands the importance of every little gesture one makes.”

“Well, I …” Rarity said. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Let me ask you a question, Rarity.” Twilight said. “Do you really think I don’t know what’s going on here? Do you think I’m not fully aware of the consequences of my actions? Do you think I’m one of the villains from your romance novels, deliberately playing with and manipulating Applejack’s emotions, preying on her feelings for me like an abusive boyfriend?”

Twilight Sparkle rose up into the air and hovered over Rarity, her wings beating furiously, her hooves outstretched as if they were talons and Twilight was a raven sent here to kill her.

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW I JUST BROKE MY BEST FRIEND’S HEART?”

Twilight turned around and went back inside, slamming the door.

“Well, I, uh… no?” Rarity answered, fear delaying her ability to process and register the fact Twilight had already gone. "Huh." Rarity turned and left the library grounds.

Discord and Celestia went to the restaurant Discord had spoken about for an early dinner. They dressed formally, Discord in a tuxedo and Celestia in a dark blue nightgown which seemed black at a glance.

After the waiter took their order and served their drinks, Celestia stared into her cup.

“You’re awfully quiet this evening,” Discord said.

“Huh?” Celestia asked, jolted back to reality. “Oh, I’m sorry, Discord. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” Discord asked.

“Spike.” Celestia said.

“Ugh.” Discord waved his hand. “Don’t talk to me about that loser. Bleh.” Discord stuck his tongue out.

“You’re just mad because I went out with him before even thinking about giving you a second chance.”

“Well, yes!” Discord said, throwing his claws in the air and raising up from his seat. Ponies in the restaurant stared at their table. Discord noticed them and realized he was drawing unwanted attention to himself.

“Okay, Discord. Remember what Fluttershy taught you.” Discord took in a deep breath and sat back down.

Discord picked up his fork, idly twiddling it in his claws. “Let’s say, in a hypothetical universe somewhere, wherein I wanted to be mature for a change, and I decided to ask you what you’re thinking in regards to Spike.” Discord set the fork down and placed his hands beneath his chin. “What would you say?”

“I would say… hypothetically speaking, of course…”

“Of course.”

“Was it wrong of me to rush out on him?” Celestia asked, turning her gaze back to her cup. “Should I have been more patient with him? Given him more of a chance than I did? We all make mistakes sometimes, after all.”

Discord took a sip of his cup while pursing his lips, an impressive feat of dental control. “Well, I can’t answer that for you. You know what my answer to that would be.” Discord placed the cup down. “Hypothetically, that is.”

Celestia lifted her head up. “And what, pray tell, would your answer be?”

“My answer would be for you to leave him.” Discord said. “To leave him in the dust and… and come back to me.”

Celestia sighed. “Discord… you know it would never work between us. It couldn’t work between us. It didn’t work between us. It still won’t.”

“Well, why not?” Discord demanded, slamming his fist on the table. “We’ve both matured. We’ve both grown up since then. We can work on what went wrong and fix it, can’t we? A thousand years is enough for a guy to change, isn’t it?”

Celestia laid her head down on the table and groaned. “Ugh, Discord…”

Discord swiveled his head around, taking notice of a waiter passing by. “Excuse me, waiter!” Discord waved a talon over at the waiter, who approached Discord with visible fear.

“We ordered some food and a dessert some time ago,” Discord said, leaning towards the waiter. “Where is it?”

“Uh, there has been a delay, sir.” The waiter said. “We were... out of strawberries for your dessert, so we had to go out and buy some more.”

“No strawberries?” Discord said. “No strawberries? Are you telling me the complete lack of any indication of our order arriving is due to a lack of strawberries?”

“Uh … yes.” The waiter answered, shaking in fear of Discord’s leering eyes. The waiter was convinced he had just signed a warrant for his own death by answering, but he consoled himself: At least he would die in service to his duty as a waiter.

“Well, that makes me very upset.” Discord said. “And do you know who I am?”

“You are, eh, Discord, Spirit of Chaos,” the waiter answered.

“So you do know who I am,” Discord said. He grabbed the waiter by the back of his shirt and lifted the waiter up, raising up his other hand, which was glowing yellow with magic. “So you know bad things happen when I get upset!”

“Discord.”

Discord looked to see Celestia narrowing her eyes and glaring at him.

“Put. The waiter. Down.” Celestia said. “It’s not his fault the chef can’t do his job and keep track of his supplies properly.”

Discord, his mouth making a guilty expression, lowered the waiter to the floor.

“I’m terribly sorry about that.” Celestia said to the waiter. She levitated out a small number of bits to the waiter. “Here. Take this for your trouble.”

The waiter held up the bits in his hoof, delight showing on his features. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all, Your Majesty!” The waiter bowed and left, shaking the coins in his hoof. “I got a tip from Princess Celestia!” The waiter exclaimed to himself. In this case, who was doing the tipping was more important than what the monetary value of the tip was.

“That.” Celestia said.

“What?” Discord asked.

“That right there is the answer to your question. That is why it won’t work between us.” Celestia said. “You can’t just go around threatening and intimidating ponies when things don’t go the way you want them to. And what if I hadn’t been here to intervene? You would have torn the whole restaurant to the ground. It seems a thousand years in stone has done nothing to cool your temper.”

Discord said nothing, sadly looking away and acknowledging she was right.

Celestia looked downwards. She lifted her head back up.

“I’ll stay here until we finish dessert, and then I’m going to go see Spike. I’m going to give him one chance to fix his mistake.”

Celestia looked at the platter as the staff brought out their food and set it on the table.

“We all deserve a chance to fix our mistakes.”

Discord looked shamefully away, rubbed his hands together awkwardly, and they ate.

Spike sat down by the river, despondent, his arms curled around his legs. A bolt of rainbow colors flew in and performed a loop before landing by Spike’s side.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash.” Spike said, briefly glancing at her. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know. I was flying around the neighborhood when I heard this noise. It sounded like a young dragon screaming about why he was so stupid.” Rainbow Dash turned to Spike with a cheeky grin. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“You heard that, huh?” Spike lifted his head.

“Yep.” Rainbow Dash picked up a stone. She bounced it on her hoof a few times before tossing it and skipping the stone on the water. “So, tell me. What’s got you down, kid?”

“I did something really stupid.” Spike said.

“What’d you do?”

Spike sighed. “I… I heard the news that Hayseed’s business had crashed. I thought, since that meant Hayseed wasn’t a rich pony anymore, that might mean Rarity would dump him, and I would have a chance to woo her… and I said all of that in earshot of Princess Celestia. Who I was dating.”

“Ooh,” Rainbow Dash said. “You probably shouldn’t have done that. That wasn’t very nice of you.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash, for telling me things that I already know.” Spike sighed. “And then Celestia told Rarity, and Rarity got upset at me for thinking of her like that.”

“Well, she’s got you there.” Rainbow Dash bounced another stone on her hoof. “You probably shouldn’t have.” Dash skipped the stone.

“I know,” Spike said, drawing his head into his knees. “I should have known better. I should know Rarity better than that…” Spike curled up, letting out a chorus of groaning.

Rainbow Dash watched the flow of the river before blinking and moving her eyes towards Spike. “Should you?”

Spike’s head perked up. “What?”

“Should you have known better than that, really?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’m going to play draconequus’ advocate here for a second. It was wrong of you to make that assumption. But was it really a wrong assumption?”

“I don’t follow.” Spike said.

“Rarity is pretty materialistic, sure, but she’s not that shallow.” Rainbow Dash said. “There’s more depth to her than that. But if you were a stranger from out of town, and you went to her house and looked around, would you really get that impression at first glance? She’s fashion-conscious, materialistic, and likes gems and things. So if you didn’t know her… wouldn’t you think she’d be the type of mare who would dump a guy for not having money?”

“But that’s just the thing!” Spike said, tensing his claws. “I do know her! I’ve known for years! I’m a close friend of hers! I should have known better than that.”

“You should have.” Rainbow Dash said. “And you’re gonna have to own up to that.” Rainbow Dash looked up at the sky. “Listen… if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all the times I crashed into something, it’s this.”

Spike looked up at her, expecting a nugget of wisdom from Rainbow Dash’s life of risky stunts.

“The Wonderbolts are the coolest thing ever.”

Spike narrowed his eyes, not amused in the least.

“Hahaha!” Rainbow Dash, however, got a chuckle from it. “But, no, seriously, though… if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this.

We make mistakes.”

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, preparing to take off.

“My advice to you would be… get over it.”

“Okay. But… how?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash said. “Maybe start with apologizing to Rarity.”

“Why Rarity?”

“Uh, because she’s the one you’re not dating?”

“Good point.”

“Go buy her something. Something nice. Maybe some chocolates in a heart-shaped box.”

Spike chuckled. “I think Hayseed might see that as a bit aggressive.” Spike climbed to his feet. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. I feel a lot better now.”

“Don’t mention it. Any time.”

Spike waved as Rainbow Dash flew off, a streak of colors ripping through the sky.

Applejack returned to the pub where she had taken Twilight Sparkle. She trudged along the hard floor and crawled onto a bar stool. Almost limp, she let her head drop down onto the counter.

Applejack wanted to leave the building, come back with a plastic dummy made to resemble Twilight Sparkle’s image, and prop it up on the stool next to her. She wanted to pretend they were still laughing and enjoying themselves as they had last night. She wanted to pretend the good times had never ended, they never left, and the confession - and subsequent rejection - never happened.

“Howdy, Applejack! Fancy meetin’ you here.”

“Wha?” Applejack brought her head up to see a headband-wearing Cherry Jubilee sitting on the stool next to her. “Oh! Hey there, Cherry Jubilee. What are y’all doing here?”

“I’m in Ponyville for a business transaction.” Cherry Jubilee said. “Thought I’d stop by for a drink. Didn’t expect to find you here.”

“Yeah, well… what can I say?” Applejack said, resting her head on her hooves. “I’ve not been having a great day.”

“Is that so? I’m sorry to hear that.” Cherry Jubilee said. She glanced across the counter. “You know… if it makes you feel better… I didn’t think I would, but after you left Dodge Junction… I missed you. I missed having you around.”

“That’s nice, I guess,” Applejack said. “I’m flattered, Cherry Jubilee, but I got folks who depend on me here in Ponyville. I can’t leave them.”

Cherry Jubilee narrowed her eyes. She put a hoof to her mouth and coughed. “Applejack, I don’t think you’re quite understanding me. I said, after you left Dodge Junction…”

Cherry snaked her leg around Applejack’s neck.

“I missed you.” Cherry whispered into Applejack’s ear.

Applejack caught wise and finally pieced together Cherry Jubilee was flirting with her. Sweat formed and ran down Applejack’s head. What would Twilight think?

Think now, Applejack. What would Rarity say in a situation like this? She’d know.

“Why, Cherry!” Applejack said. “You haven’t even bought me a drink yet.”

“I can fix that.” Cherry Jubilee said with a wink. “What do you usually drink?”

“Uh… uh… I… uh…” Applejack stammered.

“Tell you what.” Cherry Jubilee said. “Since y’all seem to be so tongue-tied, why don’t I share with you what I usually drink? Barkeep! Two malt whiskeys.”

“Coming up.” The barkeep said.

“Now, where were we?” Cherry Jubilee asked, leaning towards Applejack. “Why don’t we go to the part where you tell me more about yourself? We didn’t talk much at the cherry orchard, what with you being my employee and all.”

“Well, I, uh…” Applejack stuttered. “Gosh, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start wherever you like,” Cherry said.

“Well…” Applejack said, her eyes rolling up as she trailed her words. “I was born and raised on Sweet Apple Acres… I’ve lived there all my life, working on the chores year-round with my big brother while taking care of and raising my little sister into a fine young filly - until the day Twilight Sparkle came into my life. Then, I started travelling all around Equestria. In the spring, we sell cider to the good folk of Ponyville so we can afford to keep our farm afloat in the winter when the crops don’t grow… we make Zap Apple Jam when the Zap Apples are in season, and my granny is partly responsible for the founding of Ponyville. I guess that’s about it for me. What about you?”

"You've got quite a lot in there, Applejack. I can't say I get up to much." Cherry braced a humble hoof against her chest. "I took over my cherry business from my family when I was of age, and I mostly just sat there in Dodge Junction and ran the business, occasionally going to the rodeo every year when I could… where I first met you, Applejack." Cherry gave Applejack a flirty glance.

"Yeah." Applejack took a swig of her drink. "Probably not my best first meetin' with somepony. I was down on my spirits since I didn't win any prize money, so when we got to talking and you mentioned needing employees, I signed right up."

"I remember." Cherry smiled.

Applejack took a large swig of her drink before setting it down on the table. "Say … this here malted whiskey stuff isn't too bad. Barkeep! Another one of these!" Applejack raised the mug to show it. The barkeep nodded and got her order ready.

Cherry Jubilee chuckled nervously. The barkeep pushed the finished mug towards Applejack, sliding it across the table. Applejack lifted her first mug up and worked on finishing it, while Cherry reached over and stole the refill from under her.

"Why don't we split the alcohol content a little?" Cherry asked. "After all, we wouldn't want either of us to get so drunk we couldn't walk home." Cherry took a light sip of the malted whiskey before setting it back down in front of Applejack.

Time passed, with Cherry watching Applejack in silence as Applejack worked on finishing her drink, Cherry on occasion taking a light sip of her own.

"Cherry …" Applejack wobbled in her seat. "Thank y'all for being here and talking to me and trying to cheer me up. Really gave me a bright spot in my dark nights."

"You are most welcome." Cherry Jubilee put a hoof on Applejack's back. "Now, could I ask you to be a gentlepony and walk me home? Oh, if you're feeling alright, that is."

"I'm fine." Applejack pushed her stool away from the bar counter. "Are y'all kidding? Please. You've done me a right bit of good tonight, Cherry. I'll walk you home. It's the least I can do to repay you for all the talking we did… and for the drinks."

"Speaking of which, let me settle our tab before we go…"

Cherry Jubilee paid the tab and walked out of the bar with Applejack. They stumbled on their way, beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol.

Applejack walked Cherry Jubilee up to her hotel and accompanied her up the stairs to her room. Applejack stayed by Cherry's side while Cherry took out the key to her hotel room and unlocked the door.

Cherry stopped before opening it.

"Applejack?" Cherry turned to her. "Would you mind… accompanying me inside? Just for a minute?"

"S-sure." Applejack nodded. She stumbled in after Cherry, who herself lost her balance and flailed around before recovering and getting back her balance, flashing a smile at Applejack and pretending that didn't happen.

Cherry pursed her lips. She walked up to her bed. "Applejack? Would ... you … join me on the bed?"

Applejack's eyes widened. "Cherry Jubilee, are y'all askin' me what I think you're askin' me?"

Cherry’s eyes shifted. “I guess there’s no hiding it anymore. Yes, Applejack, I am. You don’t have to say yes, but I wanted to ask you… You don’t have to if you don’t want to, so if you’d rather not…”

Applejack narrowed her eyes. She thought about it for a minute. "You know what? I've had a rough couple of days. I could use a little more cheering up. I'm fine with it. Yes."

"Yes?" Cherry asked, not expecting Applejack to answer in positive.

"Yeah! Let's do it!"

“Are you sure?” Cherry asked. “We’ve both been - hic - drinking a little bit... the last thing I would want would be to take advantage of you.”

“I’m fine,” Applejack insisted. “I’m barely - hic - tipsy.” Even though her leg gave out from under her for no discernible reason. “Let’s do it!”

Cherry laid back on the bed, smiling. Applejack leaped on, and the two of them scrambled under the covers.

Having finished dessert with Discord, Celestia arrived at and knocked on the door to Twilight’s library. “Spike? Spike, are you in there? I want to talk to you.”

Celestia grew worried when, instead of Twilight or Spike replying from inside, there was a boom, a crash, and a shine of colorless light from the library windows.

Celestia threw the door open, slamming it against the wall. “Is everything alright?”

Twilight Sparkle shifted through her books, levitating one with her magic and flipping through it before rejecting it and tossing it over her shoulder. “No. No. No! Ugh, none of these are useful!”

“Twilight?”

“Sorry, Princess,” Twilight said. “I don’t have time to talk to you right now. I need to find a solution to my problem with Applejack.”

“Problem?”

“She’s in love with me,” Twilight Sparkle said. “But I’m not in love with her, and… I’m… not of the same… orientation.”

Celestia watched as Twilight Sparkle dove headfirst into a pile of books, burying herself in the mound of tomes.

“So far, none of these books have anything useful in them, though!” Twilight complained, popping her head out of the pile and tossing books out of it as she deemed each one unhelpful. “There must be something I can do! I know! I’ll find a spell to change orientations and make myself a lesbian! Or I’ll turn Applejack into a stallion! No, I’ll open a portal to an alternate dimension and bring a doppelganger of myself who’s compatible for Applejack to date here! No, better idea! I’ll make a clone of myself, who is identical to me in every way, except I’ll use my magic to make her a lesbian, and she can date Applejack, and then we can all be happy!” Twilight ground her teeth and tugged at her ears, a book falling over one of her eyes.

“Well…” Celestia wrapped her legs together. “From what I’ve heard, it’s certainly a better plan than any other you’ve come up with so far.”

Twilight Sparkle let out a sigh. “Damned by faint praise.”

“I’m afraid so, yes.” Celestia walked over the book pile.

“What do I do?” Twilight asked. “I don’t want to lose her. She’s my friend. One of my best friends... but I don’t love her. Not that way. I don’t want to ruin our friendship …”

“Twilight.” Celestia said. She sat down and placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, brushing the book off Twilight’s head. “Has it ever occurred to you that Applejack might be afraid of the same thing? That the reason it took her so long to come forward with her feelings for you was because sh e didn’t want to risk your friendship either? That she didn’t want to lose you as a friend, so she suffered her crush in silence instead of doing anything which might upset the delicate balance of your relationship?”

“No.” Twilight answered sheepishly.

“I assure you, Twilight. Applejack is just as afraid of losing your friendship as you are of losing hers.” Celestia said.

Celestia stood up. “You need to go have to a talk with Applejack about this. There’ll be no way for either of you to move forward until you acknowledge your problems and talk them out, so you can bury them and both move on with your lives.”

“Thanks, Princess.” Twilight said, smiling. “Oh, and, uh, I heard about what happened. Just … give Spike one more chance, okay? He’s still learning.”

Celestia smiled back.

“I intend to, Twilight. Don’t worry. I will.”

Acting on Princess Celestia's advice, and her faith in her mentor renewed, Twilight sent a letter out to Applejack, inviting her to meet on the bridge where they had parted ways... where Applejack had confessed.

“Oooh…” Applejack groaned, rising up from under the covers and rubbing her head. “What happened?”

Cherry emerged from the covers and crossed her hooves in a huff. “I thought you said you were barely tipsy and ‘fine’?”

“I was still drinkin’, Cherry. Alcohol’s not good for you, even in little doses.” Applejack made her way off the bed. “Ooh… What did I just do? Did I really just do that?”

“Hmph.” Cherry turned away. “I believed you when you said you were fine… fine enough to make this decision, at least. Maybe I shouldn’t have… I probably shouldn’t have.” Cherry sighed. “Truth be told, I probably wanted this too much to listen to my head and give you the time you needed to get the alcohol out of your system and clear your head… and after I told you I didn’t want to take advantage of you… ”

“No, no,” Applejack said. “It was my decision. I made it, and I was self-aware when I made it. I remember makin’ it, don’t I? Any regret I have should be on my head, because I shouldn’t have made the decision in the first place.”

A sliver of green fire made its way inside the hotel room, winding its way under the door and floating up to in front of Applejack, where it changed into a piece of parchment.

“What’s this?” Applejack asked, taking the parchment in her hoof. She unfurled and read it. Her eyes widened, and she dropped the letter. “Oh, sweet cinnamon apples. I’m sorry, Cherry Jubilee. I have to go now. I need to tell Twilight. Ooh… how am I ever gonna explain this to her? I’m sorry, Cherry. We’ll talk soon. Bye!”

Applejack ran out the door, leaving Cherry by herself and feeling rather cold. “Hmph.”

Applejack arrived first, pacing nervously around. She stiffened up at the sound of hooves creaking on the wooden bridge.

“Twilight!” Applejack exclaimed as Twilight Sparkle walked up the bridge. “Man, am I glad to see you. I got something I need to talk to y’all about.” Applejack brought her hat over her chest.

“Of course,” Twilight said. “After all, talking it out is an important part of the process of moving on.”

“Uh-huh, yeah.” Applejack chuckled nervously. “About that moving on, Twi …”

Twilight raised an eyebrow and leaned her neck. “Yes?”

“I thought you ought to know… y’all deserve to know, I…” Applejack said. “I went back to the pub. You know, where we went to eat? And… Cherry Jubilee was there. She bought me a drink and we got to talking…”

“Wait,” Twilight said. “She bought you a drink? Wouldn’t that mean...”

“I’m getting to that,” Applejack said. “We were talking, having a good time, and, well… One thing led to another, and I…”

Twilight kept her gaze leveled and focused on Applejack.

“I slept with her, Twilight,” Applejack admitted. “I went back to her hotel room, and I slept with her.”

“Oh my gosh!” Twilight said. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you? Do I need to tell Celestia?”

“No, no.” Applejack shook her head. “It wasn’t like that, Twilight. I… I knew what I was doin’, even if I had a little voice in the back of my head tellin’ me to stop. I went to her room and… I had sex with her. I figured you should know, that I should be the first one that you heard it from, so I… I confess and I admit it. I own up to that.”

Twilight glared at Applejack. She turned her head aside, her lips contorting as a rush of emotions surged through her.

“But it didn’t mean anything, Twi, I swear!” Applejack yelled. “We were just both slightly buzzed and not thinkin’ about what we were doin’!”

Twilight began shaking. responded with something Applejack wasn’t expecting; laughter. Twilight responded with unsettling, delirious laughter until her eyes watered. Applejack, unnerved, backed away.

“Hahahaha … wow. Do you really that’s the problem?” Twilight dabbed at a hoof at her eyes. “Wow… I… I can’t believe this. I - I knew I upset you. I knew what I said broke your heart. But I didn’t realized I had… broken you.”

“What?” Applejack stepped back, lifting a hoof.

“I admired you, Applejack. Maybe you weren’t always the most thoughtful, but you were still a moral pony. An honest pony, a pony with principles. I know I said something you really didn’t want to hear. I know I - I broke your heart. But I thought I knew you. I admired you, because I thought- I thought you were strong. Stronger than this. And that I broke you so badly… that you resorted to dishonest, cheap, drunken pity sex with a pony you only barely know like a hormonal teenager… what have I done?”

Twilight shook her head, tears still dripping from eyes as disappointment twinkled inside them.

“I’m sorry. I can’t handle this right now. W-When we’re both ready to-to sit down and talk ab-about this like adults, you can… find me on this - this stupid bridge.” Twilight displayed her anger by pounding a hoof on the floorboard. “I’ll… I’ll talk to you later, Applejack.” Twilight turned and walked from the bridge, sniffing as she prepared a teleport spell.

“Twilight, wait!” Applejack reached a hoof out, unable to stop Twilight from disappearing in a flash. “Oh, no…” Applejack groaned, putting her hat back on and pulling it down over her eyes.

“This is just like last night. Time loop. It’s a time loop. I am stuck in some kind of time loop!” Applejack fell to her knees, raising her front hooves and shaking them in anger. She looked up and saw the moon staring down at her.

The moon. The cold, impassive moon, shining like a jewel up in the sky. The one constant companion Applejack had had from start to finish, the beginning of her crush all the way up to the crushing of her heart. The moon had always been there for, but in the moment, all Applejack wanted to do was pass the blame.

“This is all your fault, ya hear?” Applejack shouted, shaking a hoof at the moon. “I don’t know how, but it’s your fault! I don’t know how, but maybe you give me this crush on Twilight Sparkle! Maybe y’all used your lunar rays to mess with my head, and now it’s your fault she keeps leaving me alone at night! I don’t know how, but it’s your fault!”

Applejack collapsed to her knees again.

“Your fault…” Applejack whispered, tears dripping off her face.

The earth rumbled. Thunderclouds formed in the sky where there were none before, booming and clapping, banging on their drums of electricity. The coldest wind howled by, blowing Applejack’s tears off her face. Shadows swirled and swam around on the surface of the moon, before consolidating together and taking the shape of the other Equestrian Princess, mistress of the moon, walker of dreams, Princess Luna.

“I beg your pardon?!” Princess Luna screamed, staring down at Applejack.

Applejack stood there with her eyes wide in shock, her mane and tail blowing in the wind, having to hold her hat down with her hoof to keep it from blowing away.

“Oh, hay bales.”

Author's Note

Not a lot of Spike in here, huh?

Repetitive ending? You bet! That's why Luna shows up to shake things up a little.

… aaand then in the next chapter this barely has any consequence. Whoops! You'll see what I mean when we get there.

This chapter was proofread by Indeliblink. Speaking of which, Indeliblink has told me he prrrobably won't be able to finish up the rest of the chapters ... so I've got an open proofreading spot for anyone who might be interested.:trixieshiftright:

Fight For Your Mare

Applejack galloped across the cosmos, the stars twinkling around her like road signs with jewels and minerals embossed into their sides. Massive straps of leather and twine tied her to the huge rock she was pulling behind her.

Applejack put one hoof in front of the other and continued to move, almost unburdened by the weight of her cargo. At the least, it could hardly compare to the whiplash of the emotional gauntlet she had been through in the last few days.

“This isn’t so bad.” Applejack said to herself. “It’s nice, quiet… I’ve got the place all to myself. Nice quiet place to just stop and think to myself.”

Applejack glanced over to the side. Seeing the bright land of Equestria in the distance brought a damper on her mood, but she smiled, determined to keep cheerful, particularly by reminding herself Twilight Sparkle was still on the planet. Far away from Applejack.

Why did Twi react the way she did? Applejack wondered in her head. I mean, I guess I… I know I messed up a little. A lot. But why did she get so angry?

Twilight’s words echoed.

“W-when we’re both ready to-to sit down and talk ab-about this like adults, you can… find me on this - this stupid bridge.”

Applejack puffed a sign.

I guess I was acting a little immature… still, she’s got no right to judge me like that. What I decide to do with my body and who I share it with is my business. My decision. Even if I did tell her that I loved her the night before … I guess that might have stung a little bit. But she said she wasn’t interested in me that way. So why did she get upset?

Applejack shook her head. She cleared away any thoughts of Twilight and focused on her task.

Out at the Canterlot castle, Luna stood on a bridge, glaring intently at the moon as it curved into its descent downwards, where it would be taken to rest and be replaced by the sun.

Celestia walked in, passing Luna by. “Oh. Hello, sister. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out there, lowering the moon?”

“I am outsourcing today, sister.” Luna answered with a smile.

“Oh? Do tell.”

“I have sent the farmer Applejack up to the stars and tasked her with towing the moon across the night sky.” Luna gestured a hoof to the moon. “She insinuated that all of her emotional problems she had been suffering as of late were somehow my doing. So I have set her with this task as a punishment for her attempt to shift the blame. Perhaps once she sees how difficulty lowering the moon is, she’ll realize I couldn’t have had anything to do with her predicament.” Luna concluded her speech bitterly.

“Huh.” Celestia said, glancing at the moon. “Well, carry on.”

Celestia walked off, continuing to the other end of the bridge.

Celestia zoomed back into the room, panic flashing in her eyes. “You did WHAT!? Luna, bring Applejack down this instant!”

Luna pouted. “But…”

“No buts!” Celestia swiped a hoof across the air. “Luna, I understand you were sealed in the moon for one thousand years, and you’re still adjusting to the way things are now. While this may have been an accepted way of punishment in the past, such drastic measures today are unacceptable! Making Applejack tow the moon is not acceptable! You bring her down this instant, young lady!”

Luna continued to frown. “Okay…” She closed her eyes and pointed her horn at the moon. It shone a brilliant, deep blue. There was a collection of sparkling white light, and Applejack appeared on the bridge.

“Wha-huh?” Applejack asked.

“I’ll get to you in a moment, Applejack. Right now, I need to decide an appropriate punishment for you, little lady.” Celestia drew her neck and glared at Luna.

Luna grimaced and shivered, hiding behind her wing in fear as Celestia contemplated what horrible punishment to dole out on her for her poor treatment of Applejack.

Celestia was silent for a while before she finally spoke. “No chocolate-pecan cake for dessert for you for the next three days.”

Luna gasped. “Not the chocolate-pecan! That’s my favorite!”

Celestia hardened her glare.

Luna hung her head. “I understand.” Luna finished lowering the moon with her magic before trotting off, sullen.

Celestia quickly raised up the sun up to its morning position, where just the crispest peak of sunlight falling over the castle. Her task done, Celestia turned her attention to Applejack.

“Applejack, I am so sorry about that. You’ll have to forgive Luna. Sometimes, she doesn’t understand that what was normal to us a few hundred years ago seems a bit … draconian today.”

“It’s fine.” Applejack said. “It’s no problem. As a matter of fact, I think that was one of the best workouts I’ve had in a long time. I feel raring to go.” Applejack kicked both her hind legs out to flex her muscles.

“Well, I’m glad to see you taking this in stride.” Celestia said. “And I’m sure your friends in Ponyville will be delighted to know that you’re okay.”

Applejack’s eyes widened, thinking of Twilight Sparkle. She ran up to Celestia, placing her hooves on the Princess’ chest. “No! Y’all can’t sent me home to Ponyville! You just can’t! Send me back to the moon! I’ll keep pulling it! I don’t mind, honest!”

Celestia chuckled. She took a hoof and gently brushed Applejack’s legs off her. “Now, Applejack… you do realize you’re going to have to talk to Twilight Sparkle and make up some time? Even if Twilight Sparkle doesn’t seem to be ready to hear it just yet, it’s up to you to at least try and make sure your friendship lasts past this… tumultuous phase.”

Applejack brought a leg over her eyes. She sighed. “You’re right. Of course you’re right, you’re the Princess...”

“Mmm.” Celestia made an amused noise. “Tell you what. If you really don’t want to go back to Ponyville - not yet, at least, then why don’t you stay at the castle for a few days? I insist.”

“Oh, gee, thanks, Princess, but y’all don’t really have to do that.”

“I insist. My treat. At least allow me to make for Luna treating you so poorly.”

“I don’t really know if staying here is the best option for me at the moment …”

“It’s that, or go back to Ponyville where Twilight Sparkle is waiting.” Celestia said with a smirk.

Applejack went pale. “So, uh, what was that you were sayin’ about a room? When do I get my key? And hey, how ‘bout that room service?”

Celestia chuckled. Like an amateur novel. So easy to predict.

Twilight Sparkle paced around the floor of her house, walking around in circles, a frown on her face and her nose towards the ground.

“Was I too hard on her?” Twilight asked. “Maybe I should have bit my tongue and held off on chewing her out until after we could settle things between us … then again, she shouldn’t have resorted to that in the first place.”

Twilight shook her head, closing her eyes as she bopped herself with her own hoof.

“No, no, no. That’s a victim-blaming statement. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t give me the right to criticize and belittle what she decides to do with her time. With… with her body.”

Twilight took in a deep breath and held it before sighing.

The door creaked open, and Spike entered through. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Hey, Spike.” Twilight continued to point her nose at the ground.

Spike walked into the room, passing Twilight and growing worried when he got close and saw her nose being aimed almost perpetually at at the floor. “Are you okay? What’s got you down?”

“It’s… nothing, It’s... Applejack.” Twilight slid a hoof down over her face before turning to Spike. “She -”

Staring at Spike’s youthful face, Twilight faltered, remembering he was much too young to talk to about this sort of thing.

“Actually, Spike, I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.”

“What? Oh, come on!” Spike stomped his feet. “Twilight, you know I’m going to have to learn about this sort of thing one day. Besides, if I ever develop a steady, lasting relationship, I’m going to need to learn how to ‘entertain’ my girlfriend, and that means knowing what you and Rarity really mean when you say ‘entertain’ in that weird tone of voice that practically includes its own quotation marks!”

Twilight blinked at him. “Today is not that day, Spike.”

“You can’t put it off forever, you know.”

“Well-reasoned, Spike, but I’m still not comfortable talking about this to you.” Twilight turned her head. “But suffice to say, she did something … I don’t think she should have. And I may have told her that I think she shouldn't have done it in… a less than friendly way, and now I’m wondering if maybe I went too far.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Gave her one of your famous lectures, did ya?”

“Hey! My lectures are informative and well-thought out, not to mention helpful!”

Before Spike could give another snarky reply, he let out a burp. The burp soon led up to an expulsion of green fire from his mouth, which twirled in the air and formed a scroll.

“A letter?” Twilight asked. “From Princess Celestia?” Twilight removed the seal and set about reading the letter.

“‘Dear Twilight Sparkle, I thought you should know what happened to your friend Applejack…’ what happened? Oh no, I hope she’s okay! Something terrible must have happened! Oh, this is all my fault!”

“Calm down!” Spike said. “We don’t actually know that yet. Celestia said she was writing to tell us what happened, right? Just read through the letter and see what it says. I’m sure Applejack is fine.”

Twilight nodded and resumed reading. “‘My dear sister, Luna, took offense to something Applejack said and blew it way out of proportion. As a consequence, she banished Applejack into space with the task of pulling the moon behind her like the gods of old…’”

Spike grimaced and paled.

“‘Thankfully, I was able to arrive and correct this grievous error in judgment on Luna’s part. I hope you will forgive her. Applejack is safe now, and back on Equestria. She will be staying with in Canterlot for a while so she can reflect on the events of the past few days, and I quote, ‘get her head back on straight.’ Love, Princess Celestia.’”

“Well, that’s good, right?” Spike said. “She’s safe and sound with Princess Celestia. There’s nopony with better hooves than her’s for keeping a pony by her side safe, right?”

“Right.” Twilight said, smiling before frowning and looking down at the floor, releasing her telekinetic grip on the letter and letting it float to the floor. Spike became concerned again. It was unlike Twilight to let a piece of paper unceremoniously fall to the floor; she believed all paper was precious.

“But still…” Twilight sunk down to her haunches. “She’s going to stay in Canterlot for a few days… and it’s all my fault.” Twilight began to walk away. “If it wasn’t for me, if it wasn’t for the words I said to her… she might still be here. In Ponyville. With her friends.”

Twilight walked up the stairs.

“Twilight? Twilight, wait! What are you talking about? What happened between you two?” Spike reached out a claw. “Twilight!”

Twilight kept walking, as if she couldn’t hear him. For all the good it would do, Spike might as well have been a ghost screaming at a brick wall.

Applejack rested her legs on the side of a bridge, looking up at the stars for the night. Lights from both the castle and the city below surrounding her, lighting up the bridge.

Too bad they can’t do anything to light up my mood. Applejack thought.

Celestia walked onto the bridge, presumably on her way to something else. She raised an eyebrow at Applejack and smiled before approaching her. “Hello there, Applejack.”

“Hello, Princess.” Applejack greeted, glancing at the Princess for a brief moment before looking back up at the sky.

“You’ve been here for a couple of days.” Celestia said. “How are you liking it so far?”

“It’s pretty good, I guess.”

“Pretty good?” Celestia asked, sounding offended. “Well, clearly my staff is not doing a good enough job at making you comfortable.”

“No, no, they’re fine.” Applejack said. “Your staff is excellent. I’m waited on hoof and hoof. I can get a milkshake any time I ask for it, any time of day… I don’t have to worry about brushing my mane… they take care of everything for me.” Applejack placed a hoof under her chin and stared at the city in the distance. “But… I miss working on the farm. Bucking the trees, pulling me own weight, making my own lunch, with my own food, that I grew and harvested myself…”

Celestia smiled and chuckled. “You know you’re going to have to go back to Ponyville and talk to Twilight Sparkle… not to mention a certain other somepony.”

Applejack made a confused expression, not understanding what Celestia was talking about. She sighed and took her hooves off the bridge guard. “You’re right. I’ll start getting ready to leave. I’ll be out of your hair by morning.”

Applejack tipped her hat to Celestia before walking into the castle. Celestia watched her go with a smile.

The train chugged along the tracks, gears grinding in its cabins and pulleys pumping in, out and around the wheels until the train reached its destination. It announced its arrival with a high-pitched whistle, the ringing of bells, and the billowing of smoke from its furnace.

Along with several other ponies, all of whom walked by her without giving her much too notice, more focused on their own affairs and problems, Applejack stepped out of the train. After the crowd had some time to disperse, Applejack felt awkwardness unlike anything she had felt before upon seeing Cherry Jubilee at the train station.

"Oh, uh… hey, Cherry Jubilee. Listen, about the other night… I may not have been drunk-drunk, but still, I… I wasn't thinking straight, okay?"

Cherry responded to Applejack with a dismissive glare. “Oh. Hello, Applejack. I was just coming by the station to explain to the conductor why I would be staying in Ponyville for a few more days than planned. And...” Cherry looked down, becoming sad. “Maybe to say hello to you.” Cherry shook her head.

Applejack raised a concerned eyebrow. “Why are y’all staying in Ponyville for a few extra days? Is something wrong?”

Cherry adopted a dumbfounded expression before chuckling. “You’re… kidding, right? You really don’t know?”

Applejack shook her head. “I don’t know. Y’all know that if you’re in trouble, you can come to me for help, right? If there’s anything we Apple Family ponies are good for besides apple farming, it’s being there for our friends when they’re in need. I can be there for you.”

“Apparently not.” Cherry muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Cherry lied, taking on a poisonous sweet tone, the kind a lady uses when she’s trying to be polite, but everyone around her can still tell she’s holding back pure rage. “It was nothing at all!”

Cherry turned around. “Just like me to you…”

She walked away, speaking a bit louder so Applejack could hear. “After all, it clearly didn’t matter as much to you as it did to me!”

Applejack responded with uncertainty. She shrugged it off and carried on her way, though was something gnawing at her she couldn’t quite put her hoof on.

Rarity was idly tidying up the display on her table, placing a singular rose inside a vial of water, when she heard a knock on her door.

“Hello?” Rarity asked, opening the door. “Applejack! I didn’t know you were in town. I mean, obviously, Twilight told me about you staying in with the Princess, but I didn’t realize you would be back so soon!”

“So you heard about that? Yeah, yeah…” Applejack said. She looked at the ground. “Listen, could I come in?”

“Of course, darling.” Rarity moved aside and let Applejack enter, closing the door behind her. “What can I do for you today, Applejack?”

“It’s about Cherry Jubilee.” Applejack said, taking her hat off and bringing it over her chest. “Do you know what’s going on with her?”

“Why, whatever do you mean, darling?”

“She was at the train station today. You know, when I came home.” Applejack explained. “I said hi to her, and for some reason, she was kind of… cold. She’s not usually like that. She’s usually as warm and friendly as can be.”

“Hmm.” Rarity smiled. “Now I wonder why ever that could be? What could be the reason?”

Applejack shrugged. “I don’t know. I was hoping you would.”

“Applejack, I do know. I’m trying to make you know it for yourself. Now think. Is there anything you could have said to her to make her act this way? Anything you could have done?”

Applejack shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t know. Not that I know of.”

“Come now, Applejack, surely you realize what’s going on? Put your head to it and think. Think. What have you done to Cherry Jubilee recently? Or more accurately, I suppose, with Cherry Jubilee?” Rarity giggled.

“I don’t…” Applejack scratched her head. “Well, we did wind up getting drunk and getting in bed together, but that’s all. I thought I explained to her. Or I tried to, at the station, at least. It was just something stupid I did because I was feeling sorry for myself and had a little too much alcohol. It was just a one-night stand, that’s all.”

“Now, Applejack, darling… do you see the problem?” Rarity asked. “You loved her, and then you left. Think. If rumors I’ve heard are to be believed, she told you that she missed you. Now why should she miss you?”

“Because I was a big help on her farm?”

“Oh, pish posh. I think it was a little more than a one-night stand to her.” Rarity winked.

The message at last got through Applejack’s thick head.. “You don’t mean…?”

“I do mean.”

“Well, well, I, uh, um… Rarity, what do I do!?”

“Calm down and take a deep breath, to start with.” Rarity said. “Now, Applejack, your little crush on Twilight Sparkle didn’t work out so well, did it? No, no, it didn’t. So if I were you, in your horseshoes… I’d realize what a golden opportunity this was and seize it. Opportunities like this rarely come up twice in a lifetime, you know.”

Rarity opened the door and pointed a hoof at the exit. “Get out there and go get her! Make it all up to her! Take her on a grand date and show her a good time! True love is waiting!”

Applejack replaced her hat upon her head. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded, swiveling her hat around to show she meant business. She kicked her legs out to stretch before galloping out the door, taking off like a jet of dragonfire.

Rarity shut the door behind once Applejack was no longer inside, resting against the door and swooning. “Ah, true love. Don’t you just love a happy couple?”

Spike was walking up to Rarity’s house. He flinched and froze when Applejack came speeding by like a bullet.

“Hi Spike! Bye Spike!”

“Well, that was weird.” Spike observed, watching Applejack fade into the distance. He knocked on Rarity’s door, and Rarity answered, surprised to see him.

“Oh… hello, Spike.” Rarity said, less than happy to see him.

“Hey, Rarity.” Spike said. “Listen, I know what I said was wrong, and it was bad of me, and I shouldn’t have said it - I shouldn’t have even thought of it - but I know it was bad. I had a moment of weakness. I know you’re not a shallow type who’s all about the jewels and the money and the fame. I know there’s… so much more to you than that. You’re a beautiful pony, Rarity, inside and out, and I’m lucky to have you as friend at all. I know it’s not much, but I… I hope you forgive me. Here. I brought you this.” Spike produced a heart box full of chocolates. “Please accept this token of my apology.”

“Oh, Spike!” Rarity exclaimed. “That was… wonderful, darling. Very above par. And I appreciate the chocolates, too. Although…” Rarity took the box from him and chuckled. “I do question why you made the choice of a heart box. Won’t Hayseed find that a bit aggressive?”

Spike nervously shuffled his foot. “It was all they had at a price I could afford.”

Rarity chuckled. “Well, I still think it’s lovely, Spike.”

“Really? So… you forgive me?”

“Of course.” Rarity ruffled her hoof through the scales on his head. “After all, we’ve all our moments of weakness, haven’t we?” Spike smirked, and Rarity blushed. “I-I mean, not that I would know anything about such a thing.”

“Hey, Rarity.” Hayseed came down from the stairs. “Who you talking to?”

“Oh, it’s just Spike, darling.” Rarity answered, moving aside to let Hayseed see him.

“Spike, huh?” Hayseed asked. Hayseed rubbed his head. “Hey, listen, Spike, do you want to maybe… come up to my room and hang out for a little while?”

“Really?” Spike asked. “You want to hang out with me?”

“Well, sure.” Hayseed said. “Why not? I’ve heard you’re a fun guy when you’re in the mood. I want to bury the hatchet, Spike, and I want for there to be to no hard feelings between us. For both our sake's. And it would help a lot with that if y’all would say yes … but, you don’t have to.” Hayseed looked away.

“What do you say, Spike?” Rarity asked.

“I say…” Spike said, pausing for dramatic effect. He stepped on the welcome mat inside the house. “Sure.”

Hayseed smiled. “Great. Let’s go upstairs. That way, we don’t bore Rarity with our ‘boy talk.’”

Rarity giggled. Spike walked up to the stairs and joined Hayseed in climbing up to the second floor, where Hayseed guided Spike into his room.

Out on one of Ponyville’s clouds, Rainbow Dash was relaxing, bobbing her legs up and down, humming a tune to herself. She opened one eye to check her surroundings, and didn’t make much of Applejack speeding past like a mare possessed. She closed her eye.

Dash snapped to attention, noticing her rival galloping at breakneck speeds. “Hey, A.J! Where ya goin?”

“I’m gonna go ask Cherry Jubilee out on a date!” Applejack shouted in reply, continuing to run.

Rainbow Dash flew off her cloud and pulled up to Applejack, using her wings to keep pace. “I thought you were in love with Twilight?”

“What? How did you know… oh, did that Rarity just blab to everypony about it?”

“Yeah. But to be fair, she waited until after you confessed.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Applejack dismissed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. “I really can’t talk now, Rainbow Dash. I have to go and make things up to Cherry.”

“Yeah…” Rainbow Dash said, stopping in place and crossing her front legs, letting Applejack go. “Yeah, that’s fine…”

Rainbow watched Applejack fade into the distance. Once she was certain Applejack was gone, Rainbow Dash sped off in the opposite direction, whipping and zooming about the sky, making sharp corner turns until she arrived at Twilight’s library.

“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash knocked impetuously on the door.

“Can I help you?” Twilight asked upon answering the door. “Oh! Hey, Rainbow Dash. What’s going on?”

“Did you know that Applejack is trying to set up a date with Cherry Jubilee?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“What?” Twilight exclaimed. “No, I didn’t know.” Twilight got stars in her eyes. “Oh, Rainbow Dash, this is great! Now she can move on, and we can still be-”

“What? No, this is not great!” Rainbow Dash grabbed Twilight by the shoulders and wheeled her out of the library. “You can’t let that two-timer get away with this!”

“What? No, Rainbow Dash, you don’t understand -”

“What’s to understand?” Rainbow Dash asked in a callous voice. “That farmer told you that she loved her, then starts trying to go off with another mare! You can’t just sit by and let that happen, Twilight.”

“This is all a big misunderstanding.” Twilight tried to explain, but Rainbow Dash seemed intent upon not listening to her.

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a great big shove. “Get out there, give Cherry Jubilee what’s coming to her, and woo Applejack back! Fight for your mare, Twilight Sparkle!”

Rainbow Dash turned around and marched into the library, slamming the door shut for a tone of finality.

“Whoops.” Rainbow Dash stuck her head out the window. “Forgot this isn’t my house.” She spread her wings and took, disappearing in a rainbow blur over the clouds, shattering Twilight’s window on her way out. Twilight wasn’t too bothered about the window. Not right now, at least.

Twilight Sparkle stood in place, watching Rainbow Dash leave. “But I don’t want Applejack to be my mare.”

Twilight turned away, staring mournfully at the ground.

“I want her to be my friend.”

Spike finished up the last of the dishes, placing a clean plate onto a drying rack. He smiled at a job well done and prepared to head out to hang out with Hayseed.

He ran up to the door of the library and opened it, prepared to step out.

He wasn’t expecting Princess Celestia to be standing in the doorway.

“Oh! Um, hello… Princess.” Spike nervously rubbed the back of his head.

“Hello, Spike.” Celestia greeted him in the warm, mothering tone she was so renowned for.

“Um…” Spike bounced on his feet, unsure what to say. “Look, just give me a chance to apologize, okay?”

“That, well…” Celestia chuckled. “That was actually what I was here for. Let me hear it, Spike.”

“Okay… here goes.” Spike took in a deep breath. “I messed up. I know I messed up. I had a moment of weakness. I’m sorry. I should treat you and Rarity better than that. Both you and Rarity deserve better than that. Better than me. Just… give me one more chance, one last chance. And if I mess this up one too, you can be done with me.” Spike swept his arms. “You don’t even have to give me the time of day. I know I still have a lot of growing up to do. I know I’m immature, still… a kid, despite my attempts to delude myself. But I know, if I could forget Rarity, grow up, and focus for just one second… I could do right by you.”

Celestia smiled and put a hoof to her chin. “I must say, I’m impressed, Spike. That was very heartfelt. Very… mature.” She gave him a knowing glance.

“Yeah, well…” Spike rocked on his ankles. “I had all night to think about it, didn’t I?”

Celestia chuckled. “And have you apologized to Rarity as well?”

“Yup. Got it covered.” Spike flashed a thumbs-up. “So… what do you say?”

Celestia smiled and tilted her head. She puckered up her lips and leaned over to give Spike a smooch on his forehead. Spike’s eyes went blank.

“One more chance.” Celestia said. “Just one.”

Spike, stricken, could give a nod as his only reply as he ran his claw over the spot Celestia’s lips had touched.

Celestia giggled before turning around to leave, walking away from the library.

She reached a stream by a bridge, the same one Applejack had made her fateful confession to Twilight. Discord was there waiting for her, arms crossed.

“So how did it go?” Discord asked.

“It went surprisingly well.” Celestia said. She walked up to him and turned him to with a grin. “I think Spike and I may be dating for a while yet.”

“I see.” Discord nodded, flicking out his tongue as he hissed his words.

Celestia walked past him, trotting over the bridge before spreading her wings and taking flight. Discord stayed long enough to watch her go, before teleporting to in front of the library, where Spike was still in shock. Noticing Discord teleport in snapped him out of it, however.

Discord shook his fist at Spike’s direction. “This isn’t over yet, Spike! Not by a long shot!” Discord snapped his fingers and folded up, his body rolling into a ball which disappeared into thin air.

Discord had been too far away for Spike to hear him, though, and it was difficult to say whether or not he did so on purpose, perhaps to avoid alerting Spike to his ire.

Spike, having no context to explain Discord’s bizarre appearance and no clue what had upset the draconequus, shrugged and carried on his way.

Hayseed walked up to the edge of the door. He peered in, watching Rarity lean over the table, busily moving a pencil on paper with her magic.

He snuck up on her. He tiptoed towards her, touching the only outermost section of his hooves to the floor. Once behind her, he reared up and wrapped his legs around her from behind, putting his hooves on his chest.

“Oh!” Rarity exclaimed in surprise, dropping her pencil in alarm. “Oh, it’s just you, Hayseed. Really, darling, you mustn’t surprise ponies like that.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Hayseed nuzzled her and ran a hoof over her back. “But you know … Spike shouldn’t be here for another few minutes now… we might not have time to show our affection towards each each if he stays for a while… we should, you know, make out. Just for a little bit.” Hayseed nibbled on her ear.

“Oh, not tonight, Hayseed.” Rarity brushed Hayseed’s hooves and pushed him away. “I just got a huge order in from a very important client. I’m going to need to get started right away if I want to have it done on time.”

“Really?” Hayseed raised an eyebrow. “They called you to put in a order like that at this time of night?”

“Fashion never sleeps, darling.” Rarity answered. She resumed focus on the paper, pressing her snout to the desk as she picked up the pencil and began drawing again. “I’ll be working on these the rest of the evening. But I’m sure you’ll be able to have plenty of fun with Spike. Oh, do keep it down, won’t you? I need to not have any distractions during my work.”

“Yeah.” Hayseed said as he turned away. “Fun… with Spike. And no distractions. Sure.” Hayseed slumped while he turned away and walked out of the room.

Hayseed went pacing about the house, staring at the floor, moping over his miss chanced at physical affection with Rarity. Not paying attention to where he was going, something bumped into his chest.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I - wait.” Hayseed said, backing away from the object and examining it, observing a small filly. “Who are you?”

The filly looked back at him with the same confused expression he was giving her. “I’m Sweetie Belle. Who are you?”

“I’m Hayseed. I’m Rarity’s boyfriend.” Hayseed answered.

“Oh? Another crush? Well, that’s good for you, I guess. Here’s hoping you turn out better than her previous attempts at a relationship, at least.”

“Why are you here?” Hayseed asked, a little annoyed at Sweetie Belle’s nitpicking.

“I’m Rarity’s little sister.” Sweetie Belle answered proudly.

“Oh, really? Then how come I haven’t seen you around before now?”

“I don’t live with her.” Sweetie Belle answered. “I live with our parents. Sometimes they drop me off here so Rarity can take care of me while they go off on vacation by themselves.”

“Really?” Hayseed asked. “And Rarity’s okay with that? With your parents just dropping you off unannounced?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s used to it. They do it all the time…”

“Huh.”

“Oh, by the way, would you mind, you know, announcing me and letting her know I’m here?”

“Sure.” Hayseed answered, before looking down at the floor again. “But it might be a bit before I can. She’s a mite bit busy at the moment.”

“Ah, yeah, I understand.” Sweetie Belle said. “She gets like that sometimes… hey, what’s got you down? Why do you look so sad, mister?”

Hayseed sighed. “It’s nothing. It’s just…” Hayseed brought a hoof over his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m talking about to this a little filly. Here goes nothing.” He put his hoof back on the floor. “It’s just, we’ve got a guest coming over later, and I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with her before they got here. You know, cuddle, kiss… maybe get on the couch and snuggle together under some blankets with some nice hot cocoa …” Hayseed let out a happy sigh of romantic longing at the image in his head of fireplaces and hot chocolate before his face turned sad once more. “But she’s busy, and doesn’t have time for any of that. She doesn’t… have time for me.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Sweetie Belle said. “But you gotta learn to live with it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Take it from me. I’ve lived with Rarity. I mean, I’m her sister, and I know a thing or two about how she tics. Come here, I’m gonna whisper something you need to know about her…”

“What’s that?” Hayseed put his ear towards her.

Sweetie Belle took in a deep breath and shouted, blowing Hayseed back with the force of her voice and messing up his hair. “She’s a businesspony!”

“Hayseed!” Rarity called from the other room. “What did I say about keeping it down?”

“Sorry!” Hayseed and Sweetie Belle called back in unison.

“Apology accepted. Now, Sweetie Belle is here for a stay, I take it?”

“Yeah.” Hayseed answered.

“Very good. Let her know I’m busy and help her get ready for bed, would you?”

“Yes.” Hayseed said. He turned back to Sweetie Belle, who held out her hoof.

“I’ll head off to bed here in a little bit. Anyways, my point is… Rarity is a businesspony who does a lot of work. Sometimes, she gets really busy trying to fill out everypony’s orders, and because of that… sometimes she’s just not going to have time for you. Now, you need to either learn to live with it and accept that… or you might as well break up with her.”

Sweetie Belle moved around and walked past Hayseed in the hall. “I’ll go brush my teeth.”

Hayseed stood there, thunderstruck. The idea of breaking up with Rarity for any reason had never occurred to him, much less a good reason, or even a halfway decent reason, in which he simply wanted to have a beau capable of spending more time with him. Perhaps not an unreasonable thing to want unto itself, but his heart’s desire Rarity was a businesspony, as Sweetie Belle had made frightfully clear to him in a most attention-grabbing way.

And he had a run a business himself; he knew to run a business, one had to meet demands, get product and services out on time, and respond to consumer complaints with promptness and politeness, no matter how cranky the customer is… and make a profit.

Hayseed wondered to himself. Could he stand a long relationship with a mare who had to do all of these things? Could he tolerate the fact she wasn’t always going to have enough time for him, or would he better off trying to find another mare who was less… hardworking, less ambitious?

Hayseed shook his head. All of these questions were ridiculous, and had to be tabled and shelved until he answered a far more important one for both his financially stability and personal happiness;

When he was going to get his business back in proper order?

Hayseed heard the front door creak open. All of those questions would have to wait. His guest was here.

Applejack stood outside a diner. She was close enough to hear ponies chatting inside and watch their shadows moving through the windows as they got up and left, as waiters and waitresses brought customers their orders, as they excused themselves to use the little fillys’ room …

Applejack sighed and hung her head. She grabbed the brim of her hat and adjusted it before going inside, pushing one of the double doors open with her hoof.

She scanned around, looking for the pony she needed to see. She let out a breath of relief upon seeing Cherry Jubilee waiting in the booth. She was here.

Of course, it might have been easier on Applejack if she hadn’t shown, and Applejack could just turn and leave with nothing on her conscience… but no. Even if it had been that way, Applejack couldn’t bring herself to do that. To leave it all alone. Not without making an honest effort to fix what she had done, at the least.

Applejack went up to the booth and slid into the other side, taking a seat opposite of Cherry Jubilee. She grinned and chuckled nervously.

Cherry Jubilee looked at her with cold eyes. She placed a hoof under her chin and looked out the window. “I wasn’t expecting you to show up.”

“Well, that was your mistake.” Applejack said.

“I got your letter.” Cherry said.

“I figured.” Applejack said. “Probably wouldn’t have been here if you hadn’t. I looked all over town for you. I couldn’t find you. But everypony I talked to who had seen you told me you were still in town. So I figured the best way I could get in touch with ya was to leave a letter at your hotel room, telling you to come here.”

“Mmm.” Cherry Jubilee said.

“Have you tried the fries and milkshake here?” Applejack asked. “They’re delicious.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Cherry said. “You know, not that it's worth much.”

Applejack sighed. She pulled the hat off her head and twirled it around in her hooves. “Cherry, can we clear somethin’ up?”

“That depends on you.” Cherry answered, crossing her legs and leaning back in her seat.

“I’m sorry.” Applejack said. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I was upset. I wasn’t… thinkin’ about you. I was thinkin’ about me. I wasn’t payin’ attention to what was going on around me, and I missed all the clues and signs that you were… that you were looking for more than just a cheap hookup.”

Applejack put her hat back on and rested a knee on the table. “And I’m… I’m just sorry, okay? I didn’t meant to hurt ya. I never meant to hurt your feelings and… take advantage of you like that."

“Hmph.” Cherry cracked a slight smile, which she quickly tried to hide. “Well, it’s something to start off with, at the very least. But I’m not sure why you feel like you need to be sorry, Applejack. After all…” Cherry looked out the window. “It clearly didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me.”

“Darn it, Cherry.” Applejack slammed her hoof on the table. “I am tryin’ to apologize for that. True, maybe it didn’t mean as much to me as it to you, but that’s no excuse for hurtin’ you, for lovin’ you and then leavin’ you. For usin’ you for a source of comfort when I was upset and feeling sorry for myself, and then leavin’ without so much as a proper goodbye. Now, if y’all aren’t interested in hearing my apology, that’s fine. You’re free to leave and go out that door. I ain’t holdin’ you here.”

“Maybe I will.” Cherry Jubilee said.

“Well, that’s just fine and dandy. But before you do, Cherry, let me ask you somethin’. If you weren’t interested in me apologizing… then why did you even show up in the first place if you didn’t want me to try to make it up to ya?”

Cherry, realizing Applejack had spotted a hole in her defense, blushed and had her eyes go wide. “W-well… I-I guess I’ll stay.”

Applejack put her hooves on the table. “Let me make it up to ya, Cherry. I’ll do anything you want or need me to do.”

Cherry looked at Applejack with interest, eyebrows raised. “Anything?”

Applejack chuckled, bearing a nervous grin as she realized she need to tack on a disclaimer. “Ah, well… within reason, that is.”

“Hmm.” Cherry smiled and leaned back in her seat, thinking about the potential she had to abuse this. “Tell me, what’s ‘within reason’?”

“Well, for starters, I know you liked having me worked at your farm. But no asking me to pack up and move in over there.” Applejack pointed a hoof. “I’ve got a baby sister here in Ponyville, and she still needs her big sister to be there for her and help show her the ropes, understand?”

Cherry nodded. “Understood.” Cherry smirked. “What else?”

Twilight Sparkle arrived at the area of the diner, having come to the conclusion while Rainbow Dash was coming from the wrong direction, it would be good for her to talk to Applejack again.

She walked up to the diner and looked inside the windows, scanning for Applejack. She wouldn’t want to go inside only to be told she had already missed Applejack, would she?

Twilight found her, sitting at a table with Cherry Jubilee. Applejack was swinging her hooves, smiling and laughing as she told Cherry an amusing story about something which had happened on the farm … or while she was with Rainbow Dash. One of the two.

Twilight stared intently in, scrutinizing Applejack’s every movement to the tiniest detail. Cherry said something which caused Applejack to rub at the back of her head, before they both began laughing. They were beginning to earn looks from other customers, and looked over their shoulders as they felt the eyes upon them. They sank into the seats and began laughing a little quieter.

She seems so happy … Twilight thought. You know what? I don’t want to ruin the moment for her. I’ll talk to her and sort things out later.

Twilight turned to leave.

Right as she did, Applejack’s laughter was dying down. She glanced over to the windows, and did a double-take when she noticed a familiar purple tail with a pink streak moving away from the window.

Applejack made a blank face as she stared. She turned to Cherry and began scooting out from the booth. “Uh, excuse me a minute, Cherry Jubilee. I need to go check on something.”

“What? But we were having such a good time together!” Cherry exclaimed, befuddled. She glanced to the window and saw Twilight leaving. Cherry crossed her legs and turned away. “Oh. I see.”

“I promise I’ll be right back.” Applejack told her before bolting out the door.

“Hmm.”

Applejack threw both of the double doors open, stepping outside and turning towards the distance while she held one door open. She shouted. “Twilight!”

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks and looked over her shoulder like she had been caught by Celestia committing a crime. She turned around.

“What are you doing!?” Twilight screamed at Applejack, which Applejack wasn’t expecting. “Anypony can see you’re clearly enjoying yourself! You’ve got a good thing going here, Applejack! Don’t throw it away! Get back inside and finish your date with Cherry Jubilee!”

Applejack stood in place for a moment, speechless, taken by surprise by Twilight’s unexpected brashness. After she had a minute to process what it was Twilight was saying, Applejack gave Twilight a soft smile to show she understood.

Twilight gave a soft smile back.

Not one word more was necessary.

Applejack turned around and went back inside, letting go of the door, causing it to swing freely before closing itself.

Applejack went back to her table and took her seat in the booth. Cherry Jubilee was resting her head on her hoof. She perked up at Applejack, surprised to see her.

“I must admit.” Cherry Jubilee said. “I wasn’t expecting you to come back.”

“I am a mare of my word, Cherry Jubilee.” Applejack said. “So, where were we?”

“And so then the cockatrice turns to the peacock and says, 'that’s no statue, that’s my wife!'”

“Ah-ha!” Spike put a claw on his head, laughing at Hayseed’s joke and appreciate the several layers of humor in it. “HAHAHAHAHA! That’s brilliant! With the cockatrice, and the stature, because you know, the whole ‘turns you into stone’ thing. HAHAHA!”

Hayseed, sitting on his bed while Spike was content on the floor, breathed on his hoof and rubbed his chest. “I got a million of these.”

There were several knocks coming from the floor.

Hayseed looked down at the floor, which was the ceiling to the lower rooms. “Oh.”

“Oh, right..” Spike said. “Keep it down because Rarity’s working. Sorry!” Spike shouted to the floor, which only earned him another series of knocks. “Right. Duh.”

“It’s alright, Spike.” Hayseed said.

“Yeah, I know. I know there’s not really any chance of a relationship between us at this point, but… I still hate to interrupt Rarity when she’s working.” Spike said.

Hayseed bit his lip.

“Yeah, so anyways.” Spike said. “I have a question. How come you and Rarity are living together, but you have an entire room all to yourself?”

“This way, when Rarity and I are having a spat, I don’t have to sleep on the couch.”

“Ooh.” Spike said. He pointed a finger at Hayseed. “Clever.” Spike turned solemn. “Hayseed?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to thank you.”

Hayseed blinked. “Uh, what fer?”

“You know.” Spike waved his hand. “For being a cool dude and a nice guy. For forgiving me for all the dumb, crazy, stupid stuff that I did and… not holding it against me.” Spike rubbed the back of his head.

Hayseed smiled. “It’s no problem, Spike. After all, neither of us are keeping any secrets from Rarity or anypony. Everything’s out in the open.” Hayseed gave a stern glare. “You are not keeping any more secrets from Rarity at least, aren’t you?”

“No, no, no!” Spike waved his hands. “No more secrets from this dragon.” He pointed a thumb at his chest. “Especially not from Rarity. I learned my lesson about that.” Spike leaned back, before glancing at Hayseed’s drawer and noticing a tiny blue box sitting on top. “Hey, what’s this?”

Spike reached to grab it, but Hayseed swatted his claw away.

“Don’t touch that, Spike.” Hayseed said.

Spike grinned. Hayseed attempting to protect the box from Spike only made him more curious. “Ooh, got a little secret? A little something we’re not proud of? A little embarrassed? Say, weren’t we just talking about secrets? Yeah, I think we were. We were talking about not keeping secrets, especially from Rarity.”

“It doesn’t concern you, Spike.”

“I think it does.” Spike said, flexing his fingers and reaching up to grab the box again. “Because I’ll bet Rarity will want to know about it.”

Hayseed smacked Spike’s claw away a second time. Spike, smirking, continued to try to grab it, with Hayseed smacking him away each time. Spike, wanting more and more to know what inside the box, quit messing around and jumped,attempting to grab the box with both claws.

Hayseed, having enough, grabbed the box and lifted it up, leaving Spike halfway up on the dresser. Spike growled and reached up, trying to pry the box from Hayseed’s upturned hoof.

“Get away, Spike! That’s enough!”

“Why won’t you just tell me what it is!?”

“Because it doesn’t concern you!” Hayseed shouted, wrestling with Spike to keep him away, pushing Spike’s head back with his free hoof. All their moving around during their tussle eventually caused the box to fall out of Hayseed’s hoof, where it landed on its side and opened up, spilling its contents onto the floor.

Spike looked down and saw what the box he was holding. He saw, on the floor, a golden ring with a large diamond embedded in it.

It didn’t take him long to realize he recognized what it was, and what it meant.

“Oh.” Spike said.

Hayseed was planning to propose.

Author's Note

Rainbow does seem a little left-field here, doesn’t she? She’s given very little indication of being a shipper for Twilight and Applejack prior to now. Oh well.

Luna’s role was a bit larger and more meaningful in my ‘storyboards,’ where Applejack’s disappearance would have been a mystery that the rest of Twilight’s friends would have to investigate and figure out with some sleuthing work, eventually finding out about Luna taking her to the moon and working together to get Luna to bring her back, Twilight and Applejack healing their friendship in the process of rescuing A.J. OBVIOUSLY, this did not play out quite like that.

Spike does seem just a little bit rude at the end, doesn't he? Oh well.

This chapter was proofread by the magnanimous Kuairu

Love Will Come To You

Spike stood there in awe, his eyes transfixed on the golden ring on the floor.

“You’re … you’re planning to propose.” Spike said, as if repeating the statement would make it seem less surreal.

Hayseed scrambled off the bed, scooping the ring up and putting it back in the box. Fraught with worry and paranoia, he looked over his shoulder at the door to make sure neither Rarity nor Sweetie Belle had entered and seen the ring.

Hayseed put the box back on the drawer and sighed. “Yes, Spike, I am. I’ve been meaning to … I mean, Rarity is just so … perfect.” Hayseed rubbed the box with his hoof. “I don’t want to let her get away. You know what I mean?”

“I understand completely.” Spike said, clicking his fingers and winking. “That said, let me give you a little piece of advice. Take it from someone who’s known Rarity a long time …”

Hayseed leaned towards Spike, curious to what he had to say.

“It’s too soon.” Spike said. “Way too soon. Rarity wants to be sure of the things she wants before she makes a commitment to them. And normally, that’s not a problem, because she’s pretty good at knowing exactly what she wants. But if you ask her to make a commitment to you before she’s ready … before she’s decided that you’re the one … it will shake her, and your relationship will be on rocky terms. If it doesn’t end completely.”

Hayseed reared his head back, taken by surprise by Spike’s brutal honesty and surprising insightfulness for his age. “I … I see, thank you, Spike.”

“No problem.” Spike waved and walked towards the door. “It was nice hanging out with you. We should do it again sometime. Oh, and I promise I’ll make sure I won’t mention this to Rarity. Or anyone.” Spike put a finger to his mouth in a shush gesture before closing the door.

Hayseed was left alone with the ring box. He tilted the lid back and lifted the box up, admiring the beautiful golden ring inside.

As he admired it, Hayseed’s expression grew stern and determined. He slammed the box lid down.

“It’s not too soon.” Hayseed said before putting the box down with his hooves still pressing on it. “I will propose to her, and I will get her to marry me.”

Hayseed looked up, out the window.

“But first, I’m going to get my business back in order.” Hayseed. “I wouldn’t want to upset her and be thrown out and left in the cold.”

Hayseed reached over and put on a hat.

“I’ll prove to her - to everypony - that I don’t need Rarity to make sure I have a roof over my head. I’m a grown stallion. I’m an excellent business manager. I have the means to ensure that I can afford to take care of myself.”

Hayseed adjusted the hat and put a tie on his neck before preparing to march out the door and bring his business back from the brink with his bare hooves.

He stepped out the door and remembered it was late, late in the evening, and nopony in Canterlot would have been wanting to do business at this hour. Well, nopony he wanted to associate with, at any rate.

“Heh.”

Chuckling, Hayseed took off his accessories. He set them on the drawer, right next to the ring box, before crawling into bed and resolving to himself he would do it tomorrow.

Rarity became perplexed when she came down to the kitchen the next morning, and Hayseed wasn’t there. Him going to sleep in his own ‘doghouse’ room after tiring himself with Spike seemed plausible, so she wasn’t bothered when she woke in the bed alone … but she found it puzzling how she couldn’t find Hayseed in the house at all. Not even a note telling her where he’d gone.

“How prodigiously odd.” Rarity murmured to herself, tapping her chin.

Rarity went out to seek out her friends and see if perhaps they know of Hayseed’s whereabouts. After some wandering around, she found Twilight Sparkle in the market trying to buy tomatoes.

“Twilight, darling?” Rarity said.

“Oh. Hey, Rarity.” Twilight prodded one of the tomatoes, and grimaced when a worm emerged from it and slithered away. The shopkeeper smiled nervously and pushed the infested tomato off the side of his table, trying to pretend it wasn’t there.

“I’m terribly sorry to trouble you so early in the morning, but have you seen Hayseed?” Rarity asked. “He wasn’t in the house … I can’t seem to find him anywhere, and he didn’t leave a note.”

“No.” Twilight gave the shopkeeper payment for a bag of fresh and she hoped, wormless tomatoes. Worms would be bad for her and the shopkeeper’s business and reputation. “I’m sorry, Rarity, I can’t say I have.”

“Drat.” Rarity thought. “Where could he be?” She happened to glance and notice Rainbow Dash flying over, pulling on an enormous cloud, while Fluttershy pushed the cloud from the opposite side. “Oh, yoo-hoo! Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy!”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “What is it, Rarity? Fluttershy and I were in the middle of moving this runaway cloud back to the factory before it got loose and became a hazard.” The cloud reared up and tried to escape, but Dash and Fluttershy were able to suppress it with their hooves and keep it down.

“Have you two seen Hayseed today?”

“Hayseed?” Dash grunted out, struggling with the cloud. “Your other half? Nope. Haven’t seen him.”

“Drat again. Thanks anyway, darlings”

“Sure! No … problem!” Dash grunted as she and Fluttershy heaved the rambunctious cloud away.

Applejack appeared on the other side of the market. She went up to the vendor for fresh green beans for her family’s cooking before glancing aside and going bug-eyed at seeing Twilight Sparkle. Twilight noticed her, too, and blushed, looking away from her.

Rarity shook her head disapprovingly and humphed before prancing towards Applejack, disregarding their awkwardness to worry about her own pursuits. “Applejack, darling? Have you seen Hayseed today?”

“What?” Applejack said. “Y’all think just because Hayseed and I are both farm folk, we know what the other is thinking? You think I know where is he just because he grows crops, same as me?”

“Applejack, I never said that!” Rarity said. “ … but now that you mention, yes. At the very least, you might have some inkling as to where he might have gone.”

“That all us farm ponies all know and get along with other, and we all know what each is thinking ‘cause we’re connected with a shared conscious like some sort of hive mind!?” Applejack asked.

Rarity was not amused. She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Really, now, Applejack, now you’re just being ridiculous. But back to the point, vis a vis Hayseed, if you will.”

“Vis a what?”

“Where might you be off to if it were you in his horseshoes?”

“Where would I be?” Applejack asked. She smirked, brimming smugness. “If I was in his horseshoes, I’d be trying to find somewhere as far away from you as possible.” Applejack chuckled.

“Very funny.” Rarity noted dryly with a noticeable lack of laughter in her voice. “I’ll be leaving now go find him, but just so you know, that kind of humor, Applejack, is some rotten thanks to the pony who you came to for relationship device, who so willingly took you and gave you access to her alcohol stores when you were devastated one or another by your crush … even if I was enabling you and shouldn’t have …” Rarity muttered the last part before turning and hopping away, leaving Applejack blushing and flustered.

Twilight and Applejack both kept their heads down, each of them avoiding the gaze of the other. Applejack finished paying for her selection of veggies, and the of them went on their ways out of the market, turning and walking the opposite direction from each other. Twilight kept her pace at a brisk walk heading to her house, but Applejack stopped, digging her front hooves into the ground.

“This is dumb.” Applejack took her hoof and smacked her head, pasting her forehead with dirt specs. Applejack inspected her hoof and shook it off before shimmying her head to clear it of dirt. She turned around and chased after Twilight.

“Twilight!” Applejack said, causing Twilight to freeze up. “Twilight, wait.”

Applejack caught up to her, and Twilight, with resignation, turn to meet her face to face.

“We need to talk.” Applejack said. “We should have a talk about this. About … everything that’s happened.”

“I don’t really think we need a talk, Applejack.” Twilight said. “Yeah, sure I’m still feeling a little awkward … but I think we said everything we needed to say last night, don’t you?” Twilight swung her hoof around.

“Last night? What are you talking ‘bout - oh.” Applejack realized. “At the restaurant … with Cherry.”

“Well?” Twilight said. “Am I wrong? Does more need to be said? Did you not have a good time with her? Are you not going steady with her? Did she leave you?”

“No, no, and no to those last three.” Applejack said.”It’s just ... “

“Applejack … doesn’t she make you happy?” Twilight said. “I saw you there with her last tonight. I could see how happy you were with her, even if you couldn’t see it yourself. You looked brighter that night in that booth than I’ve seen you in days.”

“Cherry Jubilee is not the problem here! The problem is us, Twilight!” Applejack snapped before retreating. “ But since you mentioned it … yeah … she does.”

Twilight looked to the ground, and took in a deep breath. “Applejack, I want to put this all behind us, for good, so I'd like to apologize and bury this so deep into the ground it will never come back up again. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for breaking your heart. I’m sorry for taking it bad and fleeing the scene, running away from all those heavy emotions, twice, when you, more than ever, needed to be there to help you sort your feelings out. I should have been there for you, Applejack. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, and that you can be happy with Cherry.”

“I do, Twilight.” Applejack pulled down the brim of her heart. “Finding one of your best friends has a crush on you and hearing them confess isn’t an easy thing to hear for anyone.”

“And …” Applejack looked away. “I’m … I’m happy with Cherry Jubilee, Twilight Sparkle. I really am. I don’t need you to show that to me, Twilight. She … she makes me feel good inside. About myself. About who I am.”

“Okay.” Twilight nodded.

Applejack tipped her hat and left.

Twilight blinked. “Wait a minute … ‘makes you feel good inside’? Hmm … that sounds a little fishy to me … and if I’ve learned anything these last few years, is that when I think something is fishy, it’s always worth investigating … even if you don’t always find what you expected to find.”

“Hey, Twilight!” Spike waved, coming up to her side. “Do you finish getting the groceries?”

“I did.” Twilight said. She handed them to Spike. “Here, Spike. Take these back home. I have to go send out a letter for a meeting …”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Spike took the bag, and Twilight marched off.

A branch from a nearby tree creaked before snapping and falling, conking poor Spike in the head. Twilight noticed out the corner of her eye and raised an eyebrow while Spike nursed the sore spot.

Going back to her library house, Twilight began setting up a table, levitating plates, cups, and silverware on it.

“Cherry’s here.” Spike informed her.

“Excellent!” Twilight said. “Send her in.”

Spike nodded and went to the front door, coming back to the dining area guiding Cherry by the hoof.

“Well, howdy, Princess Twilight!” Cherry greeted her. “I gotta tell ya, I was as pleased as a peach in a pumpkin patch when I saw that y’all had seen fit to invite me, up to your house! Imagine, me. A lowly cherry farmer, dining in the house of a Princess!”

“Don’t say that, Cherry Jubilee.” Twilight said as she poured tea into a cup. “Nopony is lowly in my eyes. No one too unimportant to see, no one too small to me to hear their concerns. We’re all equal here in Equestria.”

“Gosh. that’s mighty kind and noble of ya to say, Your Majesty. I’m flattered anyway.”

“Have a seat.” Twilight said, taking her own seat.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Cherry said before scooting her chair out and seating herself. “Goodness. Imagine, you, a Princess. I can’t believe a pony that I didn’t know as anything but a cherry picker for hire when on up to be a Princess. Why, I still remember when y’all and your friends came to work at my cherry orchard. You know, if y’all had told me your friend Applejack was acting strange and y’all needed her to come home, I would have understood, and we could have sorted that whole mess a lot sooner!”

“I’m sure we would have.” Twilight said before ominously sipping her tea, oddly using her hooves to lift the glass instead of magic.

“Well, I … hmm.” Cherry became unnerved by Twilight unwavering, scrutinizing state. Almost as if she was trying to get a scan of Cherry. As if she was judging her.

Applejack opened the door to her orchard and closed it behind, sighing happily before humming a little ditty to herself.

“Y’all seem to be in a good mood.” Big Macintosh said.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Applejack asked as she passed Macintosh in the hallway. “I had a wonderful time last night. Sure, I had a rocky start with Twilight in the morning, but last night was so magical I can still feel the good vibes we generated last night.”

“Ha!” In a rare display of emotion for him, Big Macintosh laughed. He smacked Applejack on the shoulder. “Good for y’all! Ya done it, A.J! You went out, confessed, and bagged her! Ya got Twilight Sparkle before anypony else got their hooves on her!”

“Um, no. No, actually.” Applejack said. “The start with Twilight was something completely different and unrelated. I went out last night with Cherry Jubilee.”

“Oh.” Big Macintosh nodded, his expression turning from happy and cheerful to thoughtful and considerate, thinking. “Oh. I see. Wait, Cherry Jubilee?”

“Yeah? What about her?”

“Didn’t y’all work for her at her cherry orchard when ya tried to leave Ponyville because ya couldn’t stand the idea of coming home and letting everypony down without the money to fix that roof that broke?”

“Yeah …” Applejack scratched herself behind the ear. “In retrospect, maybe not my finest decision-making moment as an adult mare …”

“Won’t it be awkward?” Big Macintosh asked. “You know, dating your former boss you worked for at one point in time?”

“Yeah.” Applejack placed a hoof over her face. “It will. Thanks for reminding me.” Applejack lightly smacked the end of her hoof against Big Macintosh’s chest and work collar, making the collar squeak as it slowly spun to the right. “Not.”

Applejack left the room in a huff.

Big Macintosh shifted his eyes across the room, and after being sure nopony was there to witness, took his hoof and slooooowly adjusted his collar back into its proper position.

“Good on you, eh? Go on, buy yourself something nice, huh?” A Canterlot broker said, patting his customer on the shoulder before they left. After they left, a stallion in a fine suit walked up to up.

“Hey there, what can I do for ya … huh? Hayseed?” The broker ask. “You old dog!I haven’t seen you these last few days. What have you been up to? I heard you shacked up with a nice pretty lady, huh? A real beaut, and she’s quite the keeper, I’m told.”

“Yes, yes. You ignore that for now.” Hayseed nodded, eager to change the subject to what he was here for. “I need you do me a favor, my friend. I need a business loan.”

“A business loan? Sure, sure, I can do that for ya.” The broker said. “Eh … may I ask what for?”

“For my flower business, of course.” Hayseed growled in a tone which suggested he wasn’t in the mood for stupid questions. “The one that had its stocks crashed recently. You may have heard of it.”

“Again I ask you, what for?” The broker said. “Last I heard, you got a sweet deal with that nice lady of yours, could stay at her place as long as you liked. What do you need the loan for?”

“I am planning to propose soon.” Hayseed said. “I need to repair my business before I can do that. I need to get back on my four hooves and show the world I can still pay for and take care of myself. I want to show everypony … I want everypony to know that my love for Rarity doesn’t come from her money, and to do, I need to have a reliable, sustainable source of income. The last thing I want would be to strain our relationship with the question and have her kick me out before my next paycheck comes in. I need to … be able to separate myself from her before I can unify. ”

“Oh. True beauty, right there. You got a way with words, Hayseed. I tell you, you missed your true calling, not being a poet.”

Hayseed sighed and put a hoof to his head, exasperated with his friend’s needling. “Just … get me the loan, please.”

“Sure, sure.”

Cherry Jubilee, nervous, shaking, took another sip of her tea, leaving her food on the plate, getting cold. Twilight, from across the table, continued to glower at her.

“So, um … this is some lovely tea … we’re having … isn’t it …” Cherry said.

Did I really just say that? Cherry thought. Tea ain’t like the weather. Oh, that look in Twilight’s she’s been giving me has got me and my nerves all rattled and frazzled up.

“Cherry Jubilee.” Twilight set her teacup down in a silent and subtle, yet at the same still powerful and attention-grabbing gesture. “I’m going to ask you some questions. Now, let me be clear. I support your relationship with Applejack. I think you and Applejack are excellent for each other. But I have to make sure you’re a good match for her. I have to be sure you won’t hurt my friend. Can you understand that, Cherry Jubilee? I have to be sure.”

Cherry nodded. “Yes, ma’am, Your Majesty. I can certainly understand that.” Cherry gulped down a lump in her throat. “Carry on.”

Twilight put her hooves together. “What are your intentions towards Applejack?”

A bead of sweat went down Cherry’s neck, but she kept her composure and answered calmly. Which might be only hurting her chances, as skilled liars and people of ill intent are often marked by their ability to remain totally calm while speaking complete untruths. She hoped Twilight didn’t get the wrong impression.

“As honest and true as the cherries I take my name from.”

Twilight nodded. “I see. Good answer. Poetic, but one that evades any specifics or key details. Let’s try again, a bit blunter this time. Are you going to hurt Applejack?”

“I would never hurt Applejack!” Cherry responded in shock. “The last thing I would want would be to hurt Applejack! She’s good to me! And … and I love her.”

Twilight’s brows shifted positioned, intrigued, but not convinced. “The night when you took Applejack out from the bar and to your room and had your little bout of … debauchery … did you put anything in Applejack’s drink?”

“No!”

“Did you deliberately get her intoxicated so she’d say - or couldn’t say no - to having intercourse with you?”

“No!” Cherry answered. “I did no such thing! I brought Applejack to my room, fair and square. We were both just a little buzzed! You know, light enough to not have our minds completely impaired, but hard enough to steel our nerves to do things we might otherwise not. She told me she was only a little tipsy. She was quite insistent on that fact, too, so I trusted her judgment and her ability to make conscious, rational decisions for herself.”

“I see.” Twilight said. “So she wasn’t downplaying what happened in order to defend you out of a misguided notion of obligation and friendship, had that been the case, and trying to avoid stirring up a mess …”

“What was that? Speak up, sweetie, I can barely hear you.”

“Nothing.” Twilight said. “It was nothing. Next question. What do you want from Applejack?”

“I don’t want anything from Applejack.” Cherry Jubilee said. “Okay … well … that’s not completely true. I want her to be happy.”

Twilight’s judging stare cracked into a smile. “I think that’s good enough.”

“I want her to be happy with me.” Cherry said, continuing on not because she was trying to further placate Twilight, but because she now felt comfortable and relaxed enough to the idea of expressing the rest of her true feelings. “I want her to have a happy, healthy, romantically satisfying and sexually grat-”

“Okay, okay, I said think that's good enough!" Twilight insisted, covering her eyes. "I don't want hear about my best friend's sex life!"

"Aw.” Cherry cooed. You mean to tell me y’all never get around to talking to your Rarity about what she does with Hayseed? Knowing that mare, I bet there's something kinky she could share with you ...

“I said enough! Get out! And go make Applejack happy! But get out and stop being perverted and gross while do you do it!”

Cherry scooted out from her seat. “I'll admit, answering those questions was kind of difficult for me, you know, on account of you being a Princess who could send me to the dungeon if you didn't like any of them and all.”

“I would never do that!” Twilight exclaimed. Twilight glared. “I might. Maybe. If you hurt her.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Cherry said before turning and leaving.

Spike heard the front close behind Cherry and popped his head into the dining room. “So? How’d it go with Cherry?”

Twilight smiled, pushing her chair away from the table and stepping off. “I think it well. Thanks for checking on me, Spike.”

“No problem!” Spike made an upturned thumb at Twilight before a book fell out from a shelf and hit him on the head. “Ow!”

Twilight raised her eyebrow again. This was the second time today something had hit Spike in the head, despite no previous indication the object was at risk of falling or Spike was in harm’s way.

Spike was furthered punished, pummeled and clobbered by a mass attack of books falling off the shelves and hitting him on the back and top of his head, Even though Twilight knew she had stacked those books in a neat orderly way where this many shouldn’t have been able to fall at once, especially not at the same time. And it was no longer only books assaulting him; quills, pens, inkpots, bookmarks, and candles joined in on the offensive push.

“I know I rearranged the shelves precisely recently … curious.” Twilight muttered, rubbing her chin and getting suspicious. “Come on, Spike! This calls not just for another rearranging, but a full-on investigation! Even though I would be happy to do another rearranging, hee hee.” Twilight tittered before galloping into the room Spike had come from.

“Oooh.” Spike groaned, rubbing his head. He was more upset about the fact Twilight was going to make him rearrange the shelves again instead of the fact his head had been pummeled with a merciless menagerie of falling objects and suddenly the object of target practice amidst Twilight’s possessed possessions and other non-Twilight, library-owned books.

At least until another heavy book hit him in the head.

“ARRRRRGH!” Spike shook his claws at the heavens and screamed in rage. "Twilight, don't you care that I'm being attacked by inanimate objects from nothing?"

"... oh yeah. Well, we'll figure that out."

Feeling motivated and inspired after her talk with Twilight, Cherry Jubilee went to Sweet Apple Acres. She went up to the house and knocked on the door. The door was answered by Big Macintosh, and Cherry initially flinched upon seeing his imposing, big red snout emerged through the door.

“Uh, hello.” Cherry said. “I’m Cherry Jubilee. I was hoping I could talk to Applejack?”

Big Macintosh squinted at her and gave her a look which made Cherry think Big Mac could see through her skin.

“Alright. Come on in.” Big Macintosh moved aside.

Cherry walked inside, uncertain what it was about Big Mac which made her so uneasy. Perhaps it was her size, or perhaps it was only because she could sense the drive inside of him of a big brother trying and determined to protect his sister.

Cherry jumped three feet in the air with her hooves splayed out when Big Macintosh slammed the door.

“So, you’re Cherry Jubilee, huh?” Big Macintosh asked. “My little sister Applejack is a special breed.”

“Oh yes.” Cherry agreed. “Very special.”

Big Macintosh got up in Cherry’s face, Cherry smiling nervously as she was almost eskimo-kissed by the big, red, almost demonic snout.

“What makes you think you’re special enough to be the one dating her?”

Cherry sighed and rolled her eyes, forgetting her fear and nervousness in favor of impatience and impetuousness.

Cherry placed a hoof on her forehead. “This again, really?” She pointed the hoof at Big Macintosh. “Now you listen here, you big ol’ red rascal. Twilight Sparkle done did this to me already. I am sick and I am tired already of the whole lone wolf cowboy interrogation act! Why does everyone feel the need to interrogate me all of a sudden, just because I want to date Applejack?”

Big Macintosh took in a breath and prepared to speak.

“Big Macintosh!” Applejack scolded, entering the room in a timely manner before Big Macintosh could reply.

“Sorry about that, Cherry. He gets protective of me, sometimes.” Applejack said, wrapping a leg around Cherry’s neck. “You know how big brothers get. Come on. Let’s go into the kitchen. I’ll make you something nice.”

“I know …” Cherry closed her eyes and nuzzled into Applejack’s neck. “It still hurts, though ..”

“Go on.” Applejack said, gently pushing Cherry away. Cherry went into the kitchen, while Applejack glared at Big Macintosh. “Y’all should be ashamed of yourself.”

Macintosh sank to his haunches. “Sorry.”

“Y’all should be after that display.” Applejack said before walking into kitchen to make Cherry Jubilee the ‘something nice’ she mentioned. She would figure it out when she got in there.

Once she was gone, Big Macintosh smiled.

“Well done, A.J. Looks like you found yourself a real catch. She seems like a keeper to me.”

“And here’s your order, ma’am.” Hayseed handed a bouquet of blue lilies to a mare.

The mare held them to her nose and sniffed. “They smell lovely.”

“Only the very best.” Hayseed tipped his hat and the mare walked away.

“Hey, what kind of bait-and-switch are you trying to pull here, pal?” A gruff-voice burly stallion came up to Hayseed’s counter and slammed a bouquet on the desk. “These are marigolds. I ordered begonias!”

“Did you?” Hayseed said. “Hmm. How very curious, very bizarre. Perhaps of my assistants made a mix-up. Here at my business, we value nothing but the best of service. So, if you will permit me ...” Hayseed closed his eyes and pulled out a bouquet of begonias from under the counter, able to find them by memory. “Allow me to present you with the correct bouquet, and to offer you a full-money back refund.”

Hayseed handed the pegasus the flowers and a smattering of bits.

“Good, good.” The stallion happily took the bouquet and the money. “Well, at least you have some good customer service.”

“Nothing but the best.” Hayseed emphasized, saluting as the stallion walked out.

“Whew,” Having a brief moment of respite, his customers all gone, Hayseed took in a deep breath and wiped the sweat of his brow. He would never admit, but managing his business and dealing with unsatisfied customers could be tiring. And he needed to make a note to investigate to see how the customer had ended up with marigolds - one of his employees could end up with a write-up, or worse, being fired.

Hayseed turned away from the counter. He pulled his ring box out of his pocket and opened it. He stared at the ring, taking its golden shine and the sparkle of its embedded diamond. He thought of his lovely Rarity.

Hayseed closed the box and pocketed it.

“It’ll all be worth it.”

Twilight Sparkle flipped through the pages of another book. “No.” She snapped it up and tossed it away with her magic. She flipped through another. “No. No, no, no.” She repeated this process, opening books and tossing them away as it became clear none of them had any information which would have been helpful to her.

“I’m sorry, Spike.” Twilight winced as a bird’s nest came crashing down on Spike’s head. “I can’t find anything in the library’s books about anything like this happening! Not in any of the magical history books or in any of the historical magic books!”

“Do you try the archives?” Spike asked, dancing around to avoid falling clothespins. “Maybe it’s something that happens every one hundred because of a curse or a spirit that has to be kept at bay or something random like that?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. It can’t be anything like that. I checked the archives, and there was no mention of anything like this. I would think at least one of the previous librarians would have mentioned it if they encountered something like this.”

“Are you sure?” Spike asked ducking under a table as a marble statue manifested and tried to slam down on him. "They seem to have been pretty forgetful about a few things ..."

“Pretty sure.” Twilight noticed something and glared at the corner of the room. “Wait … just one minute.”

A book was crawling around on its own, using its pages as many, many legs. It stumbled awkwardly until crossing paths with a similar walking book, at which it pointed it snapped itself open and shut several times as if it were a pair of jaws.

“There’s only one person in Equestria, who could be so diabolical, so evil as to bring my books to life and make them into jaw-biting monsters … only so … chaotic.” Twilight squinted, pulling up her lips.

“Discord.” Spike slammed his fist against his palm.

Twilight sighed. “Don’t worry, Spike. I’ll talk to him. I’ll get Fluttershy, and hopefully we can sort this out and get Discord to knock it off.”

“No, no.” Spike waved his hand. “You don’t need to do that, Twilight. I don’t need to rely on others to do things for me. I’m a child anymore. I’ll go talk to him myself.” Spike marched out the door.

Twilight cupped her chin in concern. “Are you sure? Discord, well, he’s Discord. He can get pretty mean if he’s upset or thinks you offended him.”

“Don’t worry, Twi.” Spike glared out the door as he marched out. “I’m pretty sure I already know what’s offended him …”

Spike exited the library. He slammed the door shut behind him and marched a good distance away from the library to make sure any collateral damage from any chaos-based happenings Discord cooked up stayed far away from Twilight’s house.

Spike stomped forth, planting his feet firmly in the ground, and raised up a fist as he shouted the name.

“DISSSCOOORD!”

Thunder crashed and echoed. Clouds of cotton candy formed out an invisible mist, surrounding and encircling Spike.

Discord appeared, resting a bed of the cotton candy clouds, resting his chin on his talon, staring at Spike with a self-sure smile, as if Spike were a dumb animal Discord was looking at through a cage at the zoo, and Discord was congratulating himself on his vast, assumed superior intelligence.

Discord’s antler buzzed and shook. Discord popped the antler off his head, connecting by a curly wire, and put the antler up to his ear as if were a phone.

“You rrrrang?” Discord asked, the antler-phone continue to ring before Discord got annoyed with it and placed the antler on his head, hanging up on the line.

“Are you the responsible for all the stuff that’s been just appearing and falling on me today?” Spike demanded, pointing a finger. Spike knew the answer was yes, of course, but he wanted to give Discord a chance to come clean.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” Discord said.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Excuse me?” Discord asked, rolling and lying on his back on his cloud couch. “Perhaps you didn’t quite catch on, but I never admitted to anything.”

Spike sighed and slapped his head.

“Okay.” Spike said. “Let’s try this a different. If, hypothetically speaking, it was you conjuring up all this stuff and making it fall on my head … why were you? What were your reasons be?”

“Well … I suppose in that case, if we’re just speaking hypothetically …” Discord said and stood up.

“Why?” Discord got into Spike’s face, pressing his nose to Spike’s. “I’ll tell you why. It’s because I’m jealous, Spike, jealous of your ignorant puppy love for Celestia. We used to date, and I still have feelings for you. The relationship between the two of you will never last - if not because one of you has personality flaws or something else the other just can’t stand, then because you’ll you’ll die and she’ll long outlive you, and the sooner Celestia realizes this relationship is doomed and begins dating another immortal like herself, by coming crawling back to me after realizing I was the one that was right for her along, the better!”

Spike blinked, taking in all of what Discord said.

Discord, his expression going stunned as he realized he may have tipped his hand and said more than he wanted to say, pulled away from Spike.

“Uh, hypothetically, of course.”

“So, wait, wait a minute … let me make sure I have this straight.” Spike said. “You, an immortal shapeshifter being from the dawn of time who can manipulate reality to your whim …”

“Oh please.” Discord said. “What do you take me for, a, crippled infirm geezer? I’m not THAT old.”

“Are competing for the love of and trying to woo the affection of a similarly at least partially immortal, also very powerful, thousand-year old solar princess …”

“Yes …”

“By attacking a whelp of a dragon with an assault of books and other things falling on his head?” Spike asked.

Discord raised up a finger, having an idea to speak. He looked away and rubbed the back of his head. “Well … I guess when you put that way, it does sound … rather silly. But I’m Discord!” A poof covered Discord’s face, putting glasses and a fake nose with a mustache and propeller beanie on Discord’s head while he balanced on a unicycle. “Silly is what I do!”

Spike took in a deep breath. “Dude … look. Harassing me and trying to humiliate me and embarrass me … it isn’t going to earn you Celestia’s love back. What do you think is going to happen if you ‘win’? If you ‘beat me’? Which is more likely, that she’s just gonna fall down on her knees and come crawling to you, begging you to take her back?” Spike performed a falsetto. “‘Oh, Discord, I was so very wrong about you! I’m sorry. Forgive me, please take me as your girlfriend and wife, here, let me kiss your feet!’ … or that she’s gonna be mad you were petty enough to try and beat up a teenager trying to impress her? ‘Discord! You should be ashamed of yourself, beating up poor Spike like that!’ Beating rivals isn’t gonna make her love you again.”

“I guess you have a point …” Discord groaned out under his breath, reluctant to admit so.

Discord turned away from Spike and sighed.

“I know that, Spike.” Discord said. “I guess … deep down, I’ve always known. I thought … I managed to convince myself that if I could just take out any competition for her feelings, any rivals for her affection, a.k.a, you … that somehow everything would be perfect between us again and repaired, and she would take me back as her boyfriend.”

Discord let out a deep breath.

“But that can’t ever happen, can it? No. It won’t happen. Not as long as she still has all of you to think about. You and Twilight and every other pony and civilized being living in Equestria. As long she cares about you, she’ll never take me back, because she’ll always think about what I did to the ponies during my time … during my reign.” Discord sighed again. “Oh, joy! Oh, sorrow! Oh, long did I weep in these dark hours - you get the point.”

Discord floated off the ground.

“I’ll leave you alone, Spike.” Discord said. “Oh, and by the way, you might want to tell everypony that thing you know about.” Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash.

Spike facepalmed both palms to his forehead in alarm.

“Of course! I completely forget! How could I have forgotten about that? Oh well, never mind, that doesn’t matter. I need to go tell the girls!”

Spike ran back into the library. “Twilight!”

“How did it go?” Twilight asked. “Were you able to sort everything out with Discord?”

“Yeah, it went fine, Look, that’s not important now. Get all of the girls here - except Rarity. I have something I need to tell all of you.”

“Okay …” A little bit of worry tugged at Twilight, but she went and did as Spike asked.

Sometime later after sending some letters out, all of the girls - Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and even Cherry Jubilee, both of them holding hooves with the other and seemingly unable to let go - arrived at the library and gathered in the foyer.

“We’re all here now.” Twilight said. “What is you wanted to tell us, Spike?”

Spike inhaled sharply, preparing and relaxing himself. “Okay, so he asked me not to tell you guys, but I think given the seriousness, you girls deserve to know what could happen with your best friend Rarity!”

“What?” Twilight asked. “What could happen, Spike?”

“Hayseed’s planning to propose to Rarity.”

They were shocked and surprised reactions all around.

“WHAAAAT?” Pinkie Pie said. “Oh, goodness! I haven’t even started on a wedding cake! I’ll need to get that done when I get to Sugarcube Corner A.S.AP!”

“Oh- oh my.” Fluttershy mumbled. “That - that’s an awfully big step for both of them.”

“No way.” Dash crossed her arms. “A flirty girl like Rarity would never commit.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Twilight said, disapproving.. “They haven’t been dating for nearly that long. To get engaged now would be premature. Spike, do you know when Hayseed is planning on proposing? Did he say? Did he tell you?”

“I … I … uh …” Spike stammered on realizing Hayseed hadn’t said when exactly, and he didn’t know the answer. “No.”

Cherry Jubilee frowned. She parted her hoof from Applejack, to Applejack’s surprise and dismay, and looked away before running out the door.

“Cherry?” Applejack asked. “I’m sorry, girls, do ya mind?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. Go right ahead.”

“Yes. It seems like she needs somepony to talk to…” Fluttershy answered.

With their blessing, Applejack hopped to her hooves and ran out after her, opening the door to see Cherry stopped a few scant feet in front of the library. “Cherry!”

“Cherry!” Applejack shouted, chasing her down and catching up to Cherry before she could get much further from the shade of the library tree. “What’s wrong, Cherry Jubilee? You ran out of there faster than a rat running from a rattlesnake.”

“What Spike told us just now … about … Hayseed planning to propose.” Cherry Jubilee. “It got me thinking, Applejack. Marriage!I didn’t think that far ahead! I was happy just to get you in the same bed as me and share a lunch together! I hadn’t even thought about marriage! Oh, and what about kids?” Cherry placed hoof to her head. “Do we want kids? Are we going to have kids? How would we have kids? We’re two mares!”

“Hey. Hey, hey.” Applejack grabbed Cherry, pulling Cherry’s hoof away before gently cupper her hoof around Cherry’s cheek, pulling Cherry towards her. “Look at me. Look at me. We’re still young.”

“Young? We’re both adults!”

“Young enough.” Applejack said. “Our relationship is still in bloom. We don’t have to think about all of that right now. Not yet. Okay?”

Cherry glanced to the ground before looking up, smiling and nodding at Applejack. “Okay.”

Applejack brushed her hoof along Cherry’s hair. Both of them smiling, Applejack pulled Cherry into a kiss.

Nightfall. After dark.

The girls and Spike huddled together outside Carousel Boutique, eavesdropping from the bushes and looking through the windows to see what was going on, and what was going to happen.

Rarity hummed to herself, hanging up a towel and putting some dishes away. She raised an eyebrow when she heard the front door latch open.

“Hello?” Rarity walked into the main room. “Oh! Hayseed. There you are. Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all day.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Hayseed said. “I was back in Canterlot, getting my business back together. It’s nowhere near where it was before the crash, but it’s sustainable, and I think I can build it back up again.”

“But whatever for?” Rarity asked. “You could have stayed here with me. I would be happy to provide for the both of us.”

“Who said I was leaving?” Hayseed asked. “Don’t be so quick to make assumptions, Rarity. Besides, it was just a precaution … in case something went wrong tonight.”

“Something going wrong …? Why would something go wrong, Hayseed?”

“He’s gonna do it.” Rainbow Dash said, watching from outside. “He’s totally going to do it! The brass on him!”

“Ssh! You’re going to get us discovered!” Twilight admonished her. The leaves on the bushes rustled, and Rarity whipped her around to look out the window, proving Twilight’s point, but Rarity didn’t seem to notice them.

“... Carry on. Proceed. You were saying, Hayseed?”

“Rarity.” Hayseed put a hoof to his chest. “The time I’ve spent with you have been one of the highlights of some of the best days of my life. Sure, it got a little rocky and cliff-edged for awhile there after the whole business between me, you, and Spike, but we made our way through it. We held onto the boat, and for that, we were rewarded with being able to repair our relationship. I don’t want to go through anything like that again. I want to spend the rest of my time here, with you, in this house, while managing my business on the side. Sure, it’s important to me, but you, Rarity, are my first priority.”

Hayseed reached behind him.

“I thought I told you there would be no more secrets between us … well, I’m afraid I may have lied about that. I have one more. One I been keepin’ til now ...”

Hayseed walked forward. He got on his knees and pulled out the box, opening it up to reveal the shining ring inside.

“Rarity Belle, will you marry me?”

“There’s no way she’ll say yes.” Rainbow Dash said, skeptical.

Rarity let out a gleeful, ear-piercing happy shriek which could have broken glass… and ceramic… and plaster.

“AAAAAAAAAAIE! YES!” Rarity took the ring box from Hayseed’s hoof and admired it while she did a twirl out of joy. “Oh, I can’t believe this is happening! Finally, after all these years! After all the failed suitors and unrequited pining! Yes, Hayseed Turnip Truck, I, Rarity Belle, will marry you!”

Author's Note

I considered making Rarity say no to the proposal, but I already did one expectation-subverting twist when I made Twilight straight, and I already did something similar in a chapter of Last Glass of Poison, again involving Rarity. Which may be a spoiler depending on when this chapter goes up relative to that one.

I am indeed a Cherry/Applejack shipper.

I do have the permission of the original requester to end this story with Applejack and Twilight not ending up together. Jury is still out on Spike and Celestia, though.

This chapter’s title is taken from a song! Big surprise. But the song in question is Poets of the Fall’s “Love Will Come To You.”

Sometimes when I’m writing my stories, an idea for a truly ridiculous twist will pop into my head. I think I’m going to make more an effort to share these in the future; for this chapter, in my musings, the thought of making the moon suddenly crash down like it’s Majora’s Mask, which would make Twilight and Applejack (re)confess their feelings in the face of the apocalypse and hook up.

That is not, was not, and is never going to happen in this story, but it was a thought I had. A thought I quickly dismissed with extreme prejudice, but a thought.

Liars, A To L: How To Say I Love You And Mean It

The girls retreated from Carousel Boutique and piled back into the library.

“So …” Twilight said, closing the door. She walked over to her friends. “Rarity’s getting married. How … how do we want to react to this?” Twilight scanned over her friends, noticing an outlier - Cherry Jubilee.

“Cherry?” Twilight asked. “I’m so sorry, but … could I ask you to sit this one out? We’ve known Rarity for longer than you, and she’s been our friend for all that time …”

“Of course.” Cherry nodded and went on her way towards the door.

“Again, I’m sorry …”

“There’s no need to apologize, Princess!” Cherry assured Twilight while opening the door. “I understand completely.”

“Thanks …”

Cherry closed the door.

“What do we do?” Rainbow Dash asked, flying into the air. “Rarity can’t get married!” She placed her hooves on her cheeks. “I have a fear of commitment!”

“Really?” Twilight raised a brow and chuckled. “You, Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty, have a fear of commitment?” Twilight blinked. “Wait a second, why are you having a fear of commitment? You’re not even the one getting married!”

“I have a phobia, okay?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Anypony else?”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie Pie jumped up and down. “Rarity can’t get married!”

“Why not?”

“I haven’t even finished the wedding cake!” Pinkie Pie said. “I need at least two days’ notice before I can make a really great wedding cake like my best friends’ deserve! I need to double- to compensate for the time deficiency!”

“Pinkie, I don’t think Rarity is going hold the ceremony a day after …” Twilight’s voice trailed off as Pinkie zoomed past her out the door, Twilight catching a brief glimpse of a confused Cherry as the door swung back and forth, squeaking before it closed, “proposing.”

“Twilight?” Applejack raised her hoof. “You’ll asked how we wanted to react this, right? Well, I’ve been thinking, and I think we need to act surprised. Rarity doesn’t know we know, and she’ll get upset if she finds out we spied on her during what was supposed to be an intimate moment.” Applejack glanced at the carpet. “She’d have every right to be, but still.”

“You’re right, Applejack. She’ll probably want to make a big deal of revealing it, too. Maybe invite us all over for a party or something …”

“Like when she first announced she was dating Hayseed,” Applejack said with an amused smile.

“Yeah. Or maybe come to us, clear her throat, and not-so-subtly insist we ask her what Hayseed did.” Dash cleared her throat. “‘Oooh, darrrlings! Aren’t you ever so curious about what Hayseed for for me last night’?”

Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy laughed.

“I won’t lie, that’s a pretty good impression of Rarity, R.D.” Applejack said.

“Yeah. I’ve been practicing.”

“Why would you be practicing something like that, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked.

Dash shrugged. “Hey, you never know when we’ll get into one of our crazy antics again, and having someone around to mimic Rarity when she’s not available will come in handy.”

“Given the kind of things that happen around Ponyville, I wouldn’t put it out of the question,” Twilight said. “Remember the Parasprites? Ugh.” Everypony in the room gave an involuntary shiver. “Anyway, I think that about covers it for. Go home, everypony. Go to bed, get some rest. We’re going to have more than a few big days ahead of us for the next few days. And remember, we can’t let Rarity know we already know about the proposal!”

“Got it.” Dash saluted before flying out the window.

“I think we’ve made that clear,” Applejack said, walking out the door. “I’ll go explain to Cherry.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight.” Fluttershy said as she passed Twilight on her way out. “You can count on us.”

Twilight put a hoof on the doorknob and smiled. “I know I can, girls.” She closed the door. “Alright, Spike. Come on and let’s go to bed.”

“Aw, what are you talking about?” Spike shrugged. He let out a yawn. “I’m … barely sleepy.”

Twilight glared at him.

“Oh, fine. I guess maybe… a little rest couldn’t hurt.”

“Come on, Rip Van Winkle.” Twilight walked up to him and used her magic to lift him and place him on her back, taking him with her as she climbed up the stairs to their bedroom.

Well, the moment happened. The one they were waiting for and expecting had arrived. Rarity had sent out cards telling them she wanted them to come over so she could make a “big,” which was crossed over with several adjectives, ranging from "Gigantic," "Splendorous," Mountainous," "Fantastic," "Glorious," and "Spectacular" before finally concluding with "Monumental" announcement.

Twilight and her friends went to the Carousel Boutique, gathering up outside the door. They chuckled nervously before going inside, finding Rarity and Hayseed sitting on at the kitchen table, holding hooves together.

"Hey, Rarity..." Twilight said. "You... had something you wanted to tell us?"

"Indeed I do, darlings," Rarity said, taking Hayseed by the hoof and guiding him with her as she moved towards them. "Hayseed, darling, would you like to tell them about us?"

"Well, I-"

Rarity stuffed her hoof into his mouth. "Oh, no, better idea, we'll do it together." She removed her hoof. "Ready? On three. One, two, three!"

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!" They shouted in unison.

"Ah, gee, Rarity. I'm... so happy... for you." Applejack said.

Twilight bumped her in the shoulder. "Act. Surprised." Twilight insisted through gritted teeth before turning to Rarity and smiling. "So, have you chosen a venue?"

"We were discussing perhaps outside the Apple Farm." Hayseed said. "You know, what with me being a farm pony and all, heh heh."

Rarity did not seem too enthused by the idea. "Yes, well. I had been considering at the Boutique, but then it occurred to me there might not be room for all of the guests. Then my next thought was in Canterlot, but then I thought, nooo! Surely Princess Celestia has more important things to be doing with her time than holding my wedding ceremony at her castle! And besides, the last time somepony had a wedding there, it turned out to be this whole big debacle, didn't it?"

Twilight and her friends chuckled.

"It certainly did," Twilight said. She gave a bitter glare at her friends. "For some of us more than others." Her friends blushed and backed away.

"You know, I'm starting to suspect there might be a curse or a jinx on that place. I recall reading a legend about another couple who also got married in Canterlot, but tragedy befell them, and they fell off the mountain to their doooooms!" Rarity waved her leg over her head.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "But how... ?"

"Neither of them could fly or use magic. Anyway, after much thinking, I've determined I do want to have a wedding outdoors, with nature all around us, the sunlight shining, flowers swaying in the breeze! Just ... perhaps not next to Applejack's farm, with all her smelly pigs."

Applejack looked ready to defend herself, but she relented. "Yeah, okay. Those pigs do start to stink up the place pretty bad, even right after we hose 'em down."

"Well, we're very happy for you, Rarity, and we hope you and Hayseed find happiness and wonder in your new life." Fluttershy said.

"Are you gonna make your own wedding dress?" Twilight asked.

"Ooh!" Rarity squealed in excitement, putting her hooves together with stars in her eyes. "I hadn't thought of that! We're not quite there yet in our planning, but that's a brilliant idea, darling! I'll go get started on it right away!" Rarity turned and ran into her work room, giggling with glee like a madmare. A gleemadmare, perhaps.

Hayseed bore a nervous grin at his fiance's eccentricities. He turned towards Twilight and company. They waved at him before awkwardly, nervously backing out the door, moving as one as they departed from the building, walking carefully on their hind hooves so as not to trip over each other.

“Mister and Missus Caaake!” Pinkie Pie shouted, running into Sugarcube Corner. “Do you remember that big wedding cake I told you we needed to get started on right away when I came home last night?”

“Yes, dear!” Missus Cake shouted, stirring a bowl of various baking ingredients together.

“Don’t worry, Pinkie Pie, we’re still on it.’ Mister Cake assured her.

“Oh. Okay! You want some help with that?” Pinkie Pie walked over to inspect their progress. “Seems like you’re doing fine to me!” She walked off, leaving Mister Cake grimacing at his work load.

Rainbow Dash made a motion which could charitably be called ‘sitting’ at Fluttershy’s cottage, shakily holding a cup and saucer of tea in her hooves.

“Rarity can’t get married,” Dash said. “Like, Fluttershy, I know I’ve never talked to you about this before, but I have this really bad fear of commitment! It’s a phobia, I tell you! A phobia!”

“Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said in her kindest, gentlest tone, “I don’t think you have a fear of commitment at all. I think you’re mistaking what your feeling as a phobia and rationalizing it that way. You’re not afraid of commitment, you’re just anxious because one of your best friends is about to go through a very big change in their life, and you’re afraid of that change. Change can be scary, after all… but it can be good, too.”

“No, no,” Dash shook her head. “I’m pretty sure it’s a fear of commitment. Like, borderline mental disorder.”

Fluttershy tensed her shoulders, groaning in frustration. She took in a deep breath to calm herself. “Rainbow Dash, you’re being ridiculous. (But maybe you might be onto something with that disorder idea) ... “

“What am I gonna do?” Rainbow Dash shrieked, grasping at her face, dropping her silverware and letting it shatter on the ground, furthering Fluttershy’s annoyance.

“Rainbow Dash, you’re not afraid of commitment! You make commitments all the time! To me, to Applejack, to Twilight, to your job as a weatherpony, to the Wonderbolts, and putting on a performance at all those big events we go to!”

Rainbow Dash gasped. “Oh my gosh, Fluttershy, you’re right! I’m … I’m going to have to retire early! I’m going to have to give up on becoming a Wonderbolt!”

Fluttershy growled, baring her teeth. Her pet rabbit hopped up to the side of her chair.

“Oh, Angel Bunny.” Fluttershy said, smiling at the sight of him. She reached down and pet his head, before lifting one ear up and whispering to him. “Get. The. Hammer.” Angel seemed shocked, but he developed an evil grin and saluted before hopping away. “This calls for a little percussive therapy… it’s not my favorite technique to use, but this situation demands special treatment.”

Applejack opened the door to her house and went inside, passing Big Macintosh.

“Howdy,” Big Mac greeted her.

“Howdy.” Applejack waved back to him. “Oh, um, hey, Rarity’s getting married. To that Hayseed feller?” She spoke about it as if as an afterthought.

“Ooh.” Big Macintosh developed an interest, lifting his brows. “I know somepony who could do with discussing about that, eh?” Big Macintosh playfully slapped Applejack on the shoulder, her eyes widening as she realized what she meant. “Hint, hint.”

“Now you go and stop that right there, mister!” Applejack rounded on him, slapping his hoof away. “Y’all put that idea straight out of that thick head of yours, ‘cause Cherry and I already talked about this, and I told her - and I meant - that we didn’t have to think about it right now, ya hear?”

Big Macintosh reeled back. He hung his head and sighed. “I’m sorry, A.J.”

“It’s alright, big brother. I forgive ya. But consarn it, why are y’all suddenly so darn obsessed on getting me hooked up? Aren’t you the one who’s always taking it slow through life?”

Big Macintosh nodded. “I know. I am. I’m sorry, again, Applejack. It’s just … after watchin’ you waste away by the window you way you did while you were pinin’ after Twilight Sparkle … I don’t want you to see you go through that again, so I just … want to be sure you make this opportunity last and don’t end up like that again.”

“Don’t worry.” Applejack assured him. “I will. I recognize I got a good thing going here with Cherry Jubilee. I am not throwing it away.”

“Glad to hear it. C'mere.”

Applejack pursed her lips, but obliged to Big Macintosh’s request. He took his hoof out and scooped her up into a big, bone-crushing hug.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. I can hardly breath over here.” Applejack pushed herself away, her hooves resting on Big Macintosh’s chest. The two of them shared a laugh.

"Hey." Twilight said, walking down the stairs, where Spike was sitting on the bottom step with his head slumped in his hands.

"So... do you want to go to the wedding?"

"I'm not sure." Spike answered. "I mean, I don't know how I should feel about it. Before Hayseed proposed, I talked to him. You know that, we were hanging out together... anyway... I tried to talk Hayseed out of going through with it and proposing."

Twilight pursed her lips and raised a brow.

"I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't like that." Spike said. "I just... I don't know. I'm... upset, I guess."

"About what?"

"I'm upset Hayseed's ignoring my advice. I feel like he's ignoring me." Spike gestured to himself. "I'm worried it out won't work for them."

"Worrying or hoping?"

"Worrying!" Spike answered back without the slightest of hesitation. "I want this to work out for them! I want them to be happy! Because if they're happy, I can go look elsewhere for my own sources of happiness and not have to wonder, 'what if'?"

Spike sighed and brought his head back down into his hands.

"I know how you feel, Spike." Twilight hooked her leg around his neck and pulled him into her chest. "It's a big change, and ... it can be kind of scary."

"It'll be okay, though. It'll all work out in the end..." Spike pulled his face out.. "Right?"

"I don't know, Spike. Despite you know, how smart I am and being a Princess, I really don't have all the answers. I hope so..."

Celestia stood outside a balcony on Canterlot, looking up to the sky as her sun shone its warming light all over the horizon, to Equestria and all the lands within.

Her attention was torn away from admiring the beauty and majesty by the sound and distinctive flash of a teleport spell coming from inside the building.

Discord stepped out, coming onto the balcony with her.

“My dear Princess Celestia…” Discord bowed. He got one knee and pulled out a bouquet of roses from behind his back. “Please accept this as a token of my humble apology for any and all transgressions, past, present, and future.”

Celestia sneered at him. “One last pathetic grab for my affections it is, then, Discord?”

“I’m… afraid so, yes.” Discord wilted.

A bee startled Celestia when it flew out from a rose, buzzing and twittering around angrily as it flew around in circles. Celestia grabbed it with her magic and tilted her head, flicking the bee over the edge of the balcony where it could pollinate in the royal gardens in peace.

“I am going to be generous and assume the bee was not intentional.”

“It wasn’t.” Discord was quick to claim, rubbing the back of his head.

“Discord ... “ Celestia cupped a rose with her hoof, bouncing its petals and taking a sniff of its aroma. “I won’t deny that we had something special once.” Celestia pushed the bouquet away. “But that was in the past. It’s over now, and you must accept that. It won't work, it didn’t work then, and it wouldn’t work any differently now. Just look at what happened in the restaurant. It’s over. It’s done, and you need to move on.”

Discord sighed. He stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I suppose … somewhere deep down, I know all of that already.” Discord reached up and popped the horn off his head. He twisted the horn into the shape of a heart and held it up to his chest. “But I just can’t let you go. I don’t want to let go.”

“You have to. For all our sakes.”

“Hmph. If you had no intention of ever starting your relationship back up with me, then why did you have Twilight Sparkle and her friends free from my stone prison in the first place?”

“I won’t deny that… did affect my decision making.” Celestia said. “But I still thought you could be useful, and thus far, you haven’t proved me wrong yet. But any romantic relationship between us is over… and it’s never coming back. Besides, I’m with Spike now.”

Discord pulled on the sides of the horn, breaking the heart in two. He dropped the broken heart to the ground.

“Spike won’t be able to make you happy forever, you know. He doesn’t know you like I do. How do you think he’ll react to seeing the real you, warts and all?”

“Perhaps he won’t. Perhaps he doesn’t. Perhaps he’ll have a panic attack at the realization I’m not always the moral pillar of righteousness and goodness I’m made out to be, that at my worst… I am still just a pony. Or perhaps he’ll accept me for who I really am. Although… ” A seed of doubt was planted in Celestia’s mind. “He is still quite young.”

“Ah, you see?” Discord said. “He’s too young for you. He’ll grow old and wither away before you know it. It’ll never work, you should break it up right this instant. I’ll write the letter for you!” Discord conjured a quill and paper. “To my dearest Spike… yes, that’s a good start.”

Celestia glared at him and grunted.

Discord took the hint, dismissing the quill and paper into emerald fire.

Celestia turned her head aside and pulled out a letter with magic. “Rarity will be having a wedding in a few days. I want you to be on your best behavior during this time. Don’t cause any trouble.”

“Moi? Cause trouble?” Discord feigned offense, rearing his body back and placing a hand on his chest. “Why, I never cause trouble! I am the epitome of good behavior!” He reached up and twisted his remaining antler into the shape of a halo.

Celestia rolled her eyes and walked past him, leaving the balcony.

Celestia walked through the castle, surly and dragging her hooves after her talk with Discord.

Luna popped her head through a doorway. “Ah, sister!” Luna walked up to her. “There you are.”

“Hello, Luna.” Celestia’s mood improved at the sight of her sister, reminded of happier times and forgetting about Discord. “What do you need?”

There’s been some word going around that Rarity, Twilight Sparkle’s friend, is getting married soon. Is this true?”

“Yes, that’s correct. Why do you ask?”

“I want to officiate.”

Celestia paused. “I’m sorry, come again?”

“You got to officiate last time there was a big wedding at Shining Armor and Cadence’s ceremony!” Luna pointed accusingly at Celestia and gestured to herself. “I want a turn! I want to be the one to officiate at Rarity’s wedding to… Hayseed, was it?”

Celestia nodded slowly, puzzled by Luna’s odd and unusual desire which seem to have sprang from thin air, although she didn’t see anything objectively wrong with it.

“O… kay. I will… write a letter to Twilight to ask if Rarity would be comfortable with that.”

“Huzzah! Thank you, sister.” Luna hugged Celestia, nuzzling her chest. She parted herself and left.

Celestia remained confounded. She, quite literally, shrugged it off. “Eh, alright.” She went to go write the letter.

Cherry Jubilee walked through the unpaved Ponyville streets, taking a walk. She stopped by a group of bushes, thinking to herself.

“I hope this here wedding goes well,” Cherry said. “I’d hate to have to come all this way and extended the duration of my trip for this long only to be here for when the wedding when it all goes up in flames.”

“Oh, gee.” Cherry wiped her hoof across her head. “What if the opposite happens? What if the wedding goes too well, and - and - and Applejack’s for Twilight might come back to the surface simply because she’s been pushed on by all the highs of emotions goin’ ‘round that accompany weddin’s?!”

Cherry started to fantasize.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” A male pastor announced to Rarity and Hayseed. There were cheers from all around from the audience.

“Everypony!” There was silence as Twilight Sparkle spoke up. “I … I have a confession to make. I didn’t realize until Rarity’s wedding, but now I see it true and clear as day! Applejack!” Twilight turned to Applejack. “I love you, Applejack! I can’t believe I denied for this long!”

“What? Really? Aw, shucks. I love you, too, Twilight!” Applejack ran forward. She embraced Twilight, and the two shared a passionate kiss.

“But … but what about me?” Cherry stuttered.

“Oh, uh, don’t worry, Cherry.” Applejack said. “We’ll find someone for you to substitute. Uh, here.” Applejack bent down and picked up APple Bloom by the scruff of her neck, plucking from thin air. “You can date my sister Apple Bloom! That’s close enough, right?”

“Noooo!” Cherry screamed while Apple Bloom puckered up.

“Aaah! It’s too horrible to even think about!” Cherry yelped, burying her chin into the dirt and covering her head while shivering in fear.

“Oh, come on.”

“Wha?” Cherry asked.

A Parasprite flew out from the bushes. A flash of light appeared next to it, and Discord, sans an eye, appeared. He grabbed the Parasprite and popped it back into his eye socket, where it turned back to his unmistakable yellow eyeball.

“What are you doing here?” Cherry asked.

“I was in the neighborhood. I heard there was a wedding going on, so I figured I’d swing by and see what all the hubbub was about. You know, lay my eyes on things, if you will.” Discord winked at her.

“No, I mean, what are you doing here? Aren’t you Discord, Spirit of Chaos? Shouldn't y’all be in a stone statue in the Royal Labyrinth?”

“Honestly!” Discord waved his hand, ignoring Cherry. “This is what you’re worried about now? Twilight Sparkle having a sudden change of heart and discovering her true feelings for Applejack after she’s already made her feelings on the issue very clear? Bleh, just saying ‘true feelings’ leaves a bad taste in my mouth.” Discord stuck his tongue out. “I swear, somepony needs to put a stop to all this soap opera drama! … And I know just the right pony for the job!”

Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared. Cherry Jubilee was left alone, and confused, but she was by and large, mostly confused.

Spike was skipping stones on the water by the bridge. Ever since he had done it with Rainbow Dash after his last (and so far final) screw-up, he found it a relaxing pastime.

Hayseed walked up the bridge. “Spike?”

“Oh. Hey, Hayseed.” Spike chucked another stone into the water. “What’s up?”

“Could I ask you to stop skipping stones for a sec?” Hayseed asked. “I got something important I want to ask you, and I’d rather have your full attention.”

“Oh… sure.” Spike grew concerned. He ceased his activity and walked up the bridge to him. “What do you need?”

“I assume y’all know about Rarity and I getting married. She accepted my proposal.”

“Kinda hard not to know. It’s all anyone will talk about …”

“Heh. Well, anyway, I was wondering … if it wouldn’t be too awkward for you, given your history with Rarity and all, if … you would be interested in being my best mare for the wedding?”

“Best mare?” Spike raised his eyebrow.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Hayseed said. “I didn’t come up with the terminology! It’s not my fault we live in a female-dominant society!”

Spike and Hayseed shared a laugh.

“But no, seriously… will you do it, Spike?”

“Hmm.” Spike rubbed his chin in thought. “You know what? I think I will. Consider yourself as having your best mare.” Spike took Hayseed’s hoof.

“Wonderful.” Hayseed shook hooves with Spike. “Thank you, Spike. I’m glad to have you on board.”

“And then he just left.” Cherry said, gesturing her hoof while concluding her tale.

“Hmm. Alright.” Applejack rubbed her chin. “I can’t be too sure what he’s up to, but with Discord, you know it can’t ever be anything good … even when he is trying to be good.”

“I still can’t believe Celestia told you to let out and reform that monster,” Cherry said.

“Yeah. I can’t either, at times … hmm?” Applejack’s ears stood up straight when she saw something unusual heading her and Cherry’s way.

Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy were walking together, which was by itself not strange, but the way they were walking so close to each other, stumbling as if they were drunk, whispering into the ears of one another, pulling back and giggling like school fillies most definitely was. It was almost like… they were a couple now.

After being recruited into being Hayseed’s best mare, Spike returned to his house and went to his room to make preparations.

Rifling through a basket of beauty products, Spike pulled out a cologne. He squirted it into the air and sniffed it.

“Ugh.” Spike groaned. “Definitely not. Can cologne expire? Because this definitely smells like it.” He tossed the bottle aside and continued his search through the basket to find a cologne which smelled good enough to use for the wedding.

“Hello, Spike,” came a low, seductive growl.

Spike stiffened up in fear and turned around. He was perplexed when he saw Rarity leaning against the door. “Rarity?”

“Yes, Spike, it’s me.” Rarity said, walking into the room.

“What are you doing here?” Spike asked, looking at the ground.

“Well, I did some thinking, Spike, and I had an epiphany.” Rarity said, walking up to him. She wrapped her hooves around him and pulled his head into her chest. “Hayseed was a good fling, but you were always the only for me.”

“What?”

Rarity puckered up her lips and moved in to kiss his head.

Spike shook himself out from her grip, pushing her hooves off him. “Rarity, are you sure you’re feeling alright? I think there’s something going on with your head.”

“Aww. Don’t be like that, Spikey. I’m fine.”

Rarity grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him up against the wall. She puckered up again, her lips making squeaking, popping noises.

“Ugh, no! Get off!”

“Hold on here, Cherry …” Applejack comforted Cherry, stroking her shoulder. “I’m gonna get to the bottom of this and figure out what the hay is going on here.”

“Twilight?” Applejack asked, walking up to her and Fluttershy. “What are y’all doing here? What’s all … this with Fluttershy?”

“Oh, haven’t you been told?” Twilight said, giggling and giving Fluttershy a bump with her wing. Fluttershy responded in kind. “Fluttershy and I are a couple now.”

“What?” Applejack’s face skewered up with confusion. Cherry Jubilee was also puzzled. “After all the drama we went through after I confessed my feelings to you?”

“Yup.” Twilight nodded, satisfied with herself.

“Nah.” Applejack said, causing Twilight’s eyes to open wide. “I don’t believe it.”

Meanwhile, Rarity continued to try and charm Spike. “Oh, come on, Spikey!” Rarity complained as Spike wormed his way out of her grip and ran across the room, jumping up onto Twilight’s bed. “Just one kiss, that’s all I ask! A long one, hehehe!”

“So, Applejack, are you upset about me being with Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, taunting Applejack with a smile. Fluttershy whipped and wrapped her tail around Twilight’s muzzle, and Twilight took in a deep whiff of her scent.

Applejack crossed one leg in front of the other. “I’m more upset about y’all lying to me.”

“Really?” Twilight asked, she and Fluttershy not expecting that, given the surprised expressions they had.

“Sure. Twilight, if y’all don’t want to try being with me, that’s fine, but at least tell me your real reason for doin’ so! I can accept that maybe you’re already in a relationship with somepony else. What I can’t accept is one of my best friends straight-up lyin’ to my face!”

“So… does this mean you’re happy with Cherry Jubilee?” Twilight asked with an innocent grin.

Applejack sighed, bring a hoof over her head. “Why does everypony keep having to ask me that? What do I have to do to prove it? Yes, Twilight Sparkle, I am very happy with Cherry Jubilee. We’re happy together. We’re a couple.”

“And… you’ll never leave her?” Twilight asked.

“Never. I’m the loyal type, Twi, you know that. Not unless she does something I just can’t forgive, like push Apple Bloom in front of a train or something.”

Twilight cracked another smile. “Perfect.”

Twilight and Fluttershy popped, their bodies disappearing into clouds of pink mist which rose up into the air and faded away on the wind.

“What? Oh… oh no.” Applejack groaned and facehooved. She sighed. “Okay, Discord, I know it was you behind this mess … and I can almost appreciate what you’re tryin’ to do. Almost.”

“Applejack?” Cherry asked. “I am so terribly confused right now. What is going on?”

Applejack sighed. “It’s uh, complicated, Cherry … well, you know what? Actually, no, it’s not. Discord must have saw that you were getting worried about me with the wedding comin’ up and he decided to try and help… in his own, special, Discord kind of way.”

Applejack took Cherry’s hoof.

“Did you mean what you said?” Cherry asked. “That y’all would never leave me?”

“I meant it, Cherry. Every word. So don’t push any of my family in front of a train, alright?”

Cherry chuckled. “Okay. Deal.”

The two of them kissed.

Rarity tensed up before pouncing onto the bed, pinning Spike with her front hooves. “Just one little kiss, Spikey-Wikey!”

“No!” Spike put his claw on Rarity’s nose and pushed her back as she tried to smooch him. “Get … off!” Spike mustered up the strength to push her off, pressing his claws into her stomach and sending her rolling off the bed, where she grunted as she tumbled to the floor.

“One,” Spike said, getting to his feet and standing on the bed, “I am with Celestia now. Two, I already to be Hayseed’s best mare at the wedding, and three, you’re being disloyal!”

Rarity got to her hooves. She smiled and chuckled before her body poofed away in trails of pink mist.

“Ugh. Of course.” Spike rubbed his temples. “It had to be you, Discord, it had to be you.”

Discord made his presence overt with a teleport.

“Yes, Spike, it had to be me.” Discord said. “Brave for figuring out so quickly by the way, very impressive.” He clapped, making a series of tinier versions of his hands emerged from his palms, which went to sprout tinier versions of themselves, and so on, so he could give the illusion of an audience’s applause.

“I’m not dumb,” Spike said, “I’m just youthful and inexperienced.”

“So you are.” Discord dismissed the appendages.

“Discord, was all of that really necessary?” Spike asked. “You couldn’t have just walked up to me and asked me?”

“Well, of course not!” Discord twirled around. “That would be too easy, and not nearly as much fun! But tell me, Spike, did the experience help you to fully realize and finalize your feelings in regards to those two ponies, the one you loved, and the you love?” Discord rested his chin on his claws, eager to hear Spike’s answer.

Spike rocked his head back and forth, mulling it over. “Yeah, okay … I guess it kinda did.”

“Perfect! Then it was all worth it. My mission here is done.” Discord poofed away, disappearing in pink cotton candy smoke clouds rather than his usual flash.

Spike went around and picked up the pillow of Twilight’s bed. He picked up the blanket and bundled the blanket around the pillow and hefted the bundle up over his head. He roared and threw it to the floor.

“I only said that to get you to leave,” Spike muttered quietly in case Discord could still hear him. Spike shook his fist at the air. “I already decided on what my feelings were. Ugh. What a twerp.” Spike hopped off the bed. “I should get back to getting ready for the wedding.” He glanced at the bundle. “And probably make up Twilight’s bed before she goes to sleep tonight.”

The sound of knocking was the only interruption Rarity could hear over the fervor of her working on her wedding dress.

“Rarity? It’s Twilight. Could I come in?”

“Why, of course, darling.” Twilight opened the door, shutting it gently behind the hear. “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Twilight said. “About the wedding. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Why, darling, I thought we already went over this!” Rarity exclaimed, using her magic to levitate scissors and several needles at once, pulling all of them on and through the elaborate white dress on her mannequin.

“I know, but… are you sure that you’re sure that you’re ready? Have you considered everything that goes into getting married?”

“Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Twilight rubbed her chin. “Let’s maybe start with… children? Have you and Hayseed discuss the possibility of having children? What about your house payments? How are you two going to find time to manage your businesses together while still finding the time to spend with each other? What about Sweetie Belle?”

“Oh, gee, I… I hadn’t thought about all of that,” Rarity said.

“Well, you should,” Twilight said. “Let me clear, I don’t want you to not get married, Rarity.”

Twilight left the room, pausing before she pulled the door shut.

“I just want you to think about it before you do.”

Twilight closed the door with a soft thud.

“Oh … hmm.” Rarity sat down on her haunches. The glow of her magic faded from the needles and other instruments, dropping them all towards the ground, where they dangled from the mannequin.

Applejack and Cherry Jubilee arrived at the Carousel Boutique, Cherry galloping in while Applejack held the door for her, Applejack closing the door behind her.

They found Rarity lying with her head sideways on the table.

“You said you needed to see us, Rarity?” Cherry Jubilee. “Right away?”

“We got here as fast as we could.”

“Thank you, darlings. Oh, it’s horrible!” Rarity wailed, shifting her head onto the other side.

“What?” Cherry asked. “What is it?”

“Twilight Sparkle came in while I was working on my wedding dress …”

“Yes?” Cherry asked, biting her lip.

“And - and she made me think!” Rarity shouted.

“ … you made us come all this way … because Twilight Sparkle … made you think,” Cherry said, squinting her eyes shut as the words left a bitter taste on her tongue. “What?”

“Yeeeaaahh …” Applejack drawled. “You’re gonna wanna get used to that if you’re gonna be friends with her.”

“Oh, but that’s not all, darlings! She got me thinking about all these - all these things! Things I hadn’t thought about! Like children! Children! What if Hayseed wants a child? I don’t want a child, do you have any idea what that will do to my figure? And - and Sweetie Belle. How is this going to affect Sweetie Belle suddenly having a stallion in the house? Ooh… maybe Twilight’s right. Maybe I’m not - not cut out to be a wife … I’m not ready for this.”

“Aw, shoot. Are y’all kiddin’ me?” Applejack asked. “So what if this maybe a little more than you bargained for?”

“Hmm? What do you mean, Applejack?”

“Listen. Twilight’s asking you about all these things you didn’t stop to think about, right?”

“Yes …” Rarity nodded, quite interested in hearing what Applejack had to say.

“So?” Applejack said. “Follow your heart, Rarity. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t do what I did.” Applejack put a hoof to her chest. “For so long, I knew what I wanted… but I didn’t tell Twilight because I was afraid I couldn’t get it without sacrificing sumthun else. And look at me! I finally did tell her. I went through with it… and maybe I didn’t get what I wanted out of it …”

Applejack picked up and held Cherry’s hoof. “But I’d say I got something even better. Rarity …”

Applejack walked over to the table and grabbed Rarity’s hooves. “You’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve watch you pine after stallion after stallion. Blueblood, Trenderhoof… and none of them worked out for you. Don’t let go of the first good guy you’ve found who actually cares about you, and let ‘em slip out of your grasp just because you got cold hooves.”

“I… you know what, Applejack? You’re absolutely right.” Rarity stood up, pushing herself out of her seat. “So what if there’s still consequences we need to talk about it? It can wait until after the festivities are over! The wedding is still on! Oh! I still need to go and finish my dress!” Rarity left the kitchen and galloped up the stairs.

“Hahaha, yeah! You go, Rarity! That’s my girl!” Applejack cheered. Cherry cleared her throat. “In a strictly platonic sense, of course. Thought that’d be obvious.”

Cherry shifted uncomfortably. “Well … I might still be a bit shaken up after earlier.”

It was a day before the wedding was set to happen.

Spike was standing at the closet, admiring his tuxedo hanging on its coat inside. He wondered if there was something he could do to spice it up a bit before the wedding day.

He heard the door creak. Celestia walked inside, being slow to close the door behind her.

“Hey. Come in, come in,” Spike said to her, gesturing her over.

“Hello, Spike,” Celestia walked up to him. “What are you doing?”

“Ah, just looking at my tux,” Spike said. He rubbed his thumb across his chin. “You think there’s something I could do to give it a bit more flair before the wedding? Like, maybe dye the shirt blue, or add more sequins?”

“I think it looks lovely just the way it is,” Celestia said. “Could I pull you away from… looking at you tux for a minute? I would like to talk to you.”

“Sure,” Spike walked Celestia over to a couch. He sat down on one side, and Celestia sat down on the other, taking up two of the cushions. “What did you want to talk about?”

Celestia tapped her hooves together. She seemed uncertain. “I’ve been doing some thinking, Spike and …” Celestia turned her head to face him head-on. “I think we should take a break.”

“Wha-what? A break?” Spike asked. “What do you mean, a break? Have I - have I not been good enough to you? I mean, I know I haven’t always been the best boyfriend and did more than my fair share of stupid stuff, but… but still, am I not good enough?”

Celestia chuckled and shook her head. “No, Spike. It’s nothing like that. I just… I’ve come to realize you are much, much younger than I am. Which sounds like a strange to suddenly realize, but there you have it. And… it might be best to wait until you’re a just a little older and … grown into yourself more.”

“I’m plenty grown.” Spike crossed his arms, resentment in his voice.

“Yes, you are, Spike. But you still have some more growing to do.” Celestia said.

“Well, how much growing do I have to do until you’re happy!?”

Celestia took Spike raising his voice at her with the utmost restraint. Spike scooted away on the couch after realizing he had raised his voice at her.

“Some.” Celestia replied obliquely. “I know you’re upset, Spike, but please, consider a few things. For one, you haven’t even gone through puberty. Not properly, at least. Second, weren’t you the one admitting to, how did you put it, your fair share of stupid stuff you did? Not telling Rarity about the bouquet? Like expressing the idea you could win Rarity back just because Hayseed was having financial troubles? Running into the Everfree Forest? Stuff which you could have potentially avoided with a few more years of growth and maturity under your belt?”

Spike let out a deep breath. “Okay, yeah … I see your point.” Spike looked at the floor. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it. I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait until I’m as grown up as you want me to be.”

Spike pointed a stern finger at her.

“But the second I’m as grown as you like, you’d better take me back quick, because I won’t be happy if you decide to go back on your word.”

“Oh my. So fierce. So commanding.” Celestia noted jokingly. “I don’t think being fierce suits you, Spike. But yes …” Celestia reached her wing and draped it around Spike’s shoulders. “I’ll wait for you, too, and when the moment comes, I promise I will take you back … and not one minute later.”

Celestia leaned and gave Spike a kiss on the head. Spike’s cheeks turned pink. He curled up and watched Celestia step off the couch and walk out the door, the door creaking as she left. Spike let out a sigh. He wondered how long it would be …

The big day!

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, with Cherry as her plus one arrived first out of Rarity’s more intimate friends, soon followed by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

“Hey girls!” Dash greeted them.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash. Excited for the wedding?” Twilight asked.

“You bet!” Dash said.

“Still haven’t that phobia of commitment thing going on?” Twilight added.

“Oh, no,” Rainbow Dash said. “Fluttershy helped me to see that I didn’t have any phobia, I was just rationalizing and masking my anxiety about a big change happening in one of my friend’s lives. But, uh, word of advice, if Fluttershy offers you the ‘percussive therapy’… get out. Just - just get out.”

“She left me no choice,” Fluttershy said defensively at Twilight’s questioning gaze. “And it worked, didn’t it?”

“Well …” Twilight looked around. Most everypony was present and seated, from Rarity’s parents to Applejack’s family. “Looks like the ceremony will start soon. We should take our places.”

The bridesmaids went up onto the platform, where Hayseed, Luna, and Celestia were already present. They waited there until Rarity made her grand entrance, appearing in a stunning white dress with a large cowl, long train, and several fringes hanging off the sides in a fan shape.

“Wow.” Hayseed muttered, stunned by the dress.

Rarity walked up to the platform, taking her place besides Hayseed.

“Do we have the ring?” Luna asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty!” Spike waddled down the red carpet, holding up the ring box.

“Good. Then let us begin.” Luna cleared her throat. “We are gathered here today to witness the union of two lovers, Rarity Belle and Hayseed Turnip Truck. Hayseed, do you take Rarity to be your lawfully wedded wife, to take care of her in sickness and in health, and be together with her in any kind of weather? To love her til death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And Rarity - oh, wait, hang on, there’s another vow, it looks to be a custom … and also to, um, 'compliment your wife and tell her she looks beautiful, regardless of how she actually looks?'”

The bridesmaids complained. “Rarity!”

“Whaaaat? It’s my wedding!”

“Well, I’d like think I’m a polite enough guy that I’d say that anyway, but okay. Yes, Princess, Luna, I do,” Hayseed said.

“And Rarity Belle…” Luna sifted through the papers, trying to make sure they weren’t any custom vows she missed this time. “Do you take Hayseed to be your lawfully wedded husband, to take care of him in sickness and in health, and be together with him in any kind of weather? To love him til death do you part... “

Rarity smiled.

“And to always allow him to attend the family reunion every year, regardless of the circumstances?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow.

“I love my family… and hey, it’s my wedding, too.” Hayseed said.

“Hmph! Touche.” Rarity admitted with a smile. “I do.”

“If anypony has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever your hold peace,” Luna said.

Twilight nudged Spike on the shoulder. “Spike? This is your last chance to object.”

Spike thought about it. Even considering the ‘break’ Celestia was making him go through …

“You know what, Twi? I’m good.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Luna said. “You may kiss the bride.”

Hayseed pulled up Rarity’s veil, and the two of them kissed. The audience cheered and clamoured, clapping and stomping.

Hayseed grabbed Rarity and lifted her up into his hooves. “Oop!” Rarity expressed before giggling. Hayseed carried her down the aisle and out a ways, where a chariot was waiting for them.

The bridesmaids and Spike followed them, waving them off as they climbed into the chariot. Once inside and Hayseed had set Rarity down, Rarity threw Hayseed against the seats before kissing him, pinning him before she used her magic to close the door. The ponies driving it whinnied before galloping away it, spinning its wheels.

Twilight and the girls giggled. “Well, I suppose all’s well that ends well.”

“Well, almost all.” Applejack whispered, gesturing subtly to the sky. Discord was floating around in the sky above them.

“Oh … Discord.” Twilight said awkwardly, nervous he might still have a chance and a trick up his sleeve to ruin everything. “What are you up to?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing much, just waiting for my date to get here. I’ve found someone. Celestia hooked us up together, actually.” Discord answered.

“Oh, that’s nice … wait, who? Who in their right mind would go out with ...”

The ground began to shake. Twilight’s eyes widened.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Surely that’s not … it is, isn’t it?”

Antioch arrived on the scene, wearing a red cocktail dress around her. Where she found one in her size, Twilight would never know. Perhaps dragons had tailors.

“Hey there, sweetie.” Antioch waved, flicking her fingers at Discord.

“Hello, sugar.” Discord flew up up to Antioch and hooked his arm around her’s. “Shall we?”

“We shall!” Antioch said, smiling. She galloped off, taking Discord with her, Discord shaking from her arm like a loose banner billowing in the wind.

Twilight, Spike, and the girls chuckled awkwardly at first, before laughing genuinely at Discord’s misfortune as he was swung up and down.

“Well, I’m glad she found someone at least,” Twilight said. “Come on, girls. Let’s go home.”

Years later…

Twilight Sparkle flew through the Canterlot morning sky, arriving at a cave carved into the side of the mountain. She landed inside, flapping her wings to stretch them before tucking them away. She walked into the cave, where Princess Celestia was waiting for her, the wrinkles on her face doing nothing to diminish the brightness of her smile.

“Hello, Twilight Sparkle. I’ve been waiting for you,” Celestia said.

“Yup. And I sure made you wait, didn’t it?”

“Yes. This is a visit that’s been long overdue.”

“I’m sorry.”

‘All that matters is that you’re here now.” Celestia said. “Shall we?” She and Twilight began walking further into the cave.

“How have you been?” Twilight asked.

“Wrinkles aside, I’ve been well,” Celestia said. They chuckled. “How are your friends doing?”

“My friends? Hmm, well…” Twilight tapped her chin, trying to recall all the events they developed since the last time she visited Celestia. “Well, Hayseed and Rarity are working on their second child?”

“Second?”

“Yeah.”

“My goodness, does time fly. What else?”

“Applejack and Cherry Jubilee are still happy on their new-ish still apple/cherry farm in Dodge Junction … Apple Bloom is taking over Sweet Apple Orchards, because Big Macintosh is getting on in years, Fluttershy’s veterinarian business is doing well, and Rainbow Dash is Captain of the Wonderbolts. Let’s see, did I miss anything? … Oh! And Pinkie Pie is still running Sugarcube Corner, working the Cakes’ daughters to the bone. How is Spike doing?”

“He’s doing well, thank you.”

“I have to ask, Princess Celestia, why do you keep him living all the way out here?”

“Well, it’s not like I keep him in the castle. There’s not enough space, and ponies would freak out.”

“Aah… hmm… does he ever, you know, come down with a case of dragon greed?”

“Sometimes. But a little tender loving and -”

“Agh, no, stop. I regret asking. T.M.I, Celestia, T.M.I.”

“Hmm. I’m glad, after all these years, you’ve grown comfortable enough with me to address by my first name, Twilight.”

“Likewise.” Twilight smiled.

“We’re here. Here he is. Spike?” Celestia said.

“Hmm?” Spike asked, snorting in his deep voice, lifting his pointed dragon snout off the ground, his claw still firmly clutched around his quill as he penned his next work of literary genius, his hulking body scraping up against the ceiling of the cave. Celestia might have to hollow it out more soon if he kept putting on pounds. “Oh! Hello, Twilight Sparkle. Is is time for your visit again already?”

“Yeah, it is,” Twilight said.

“It is just me, or as we’ve grown more casual, Spike has grown more formal?” Celestia observed, prompting another round of laughing.

“So, how goes writing your next great literary masterpiece, Spike?”

“Pretty well,” Spike answered, scratching his chin. “I’m almost down to the last chapter as soon as I finish this page.”

“Well, that’s good. Anything else new?” Twilight asked.

“Not that I can think of, no,” Spike said. “Unless you might need something to spice up your bedroom. Celestia knows this great -”

“T.M.I again! T.M.I!”

“Right. Sorry.” Spike grinned sheepishly.

“I forgive you,” Twilight said. She flew up to him. “Come here, you.”

Spike lowered his neck, and Twilight laid her head across his nose, giving him a nuzzle.

“I still love you, Spike. Even though you’ve moved out and in with Celestia, even though you’ve grown into a huge, mature dragon, and Sweetie Belle is studying magic under me… you’ll still always be my number one assistant to me.”

“I love you, too, Twilight.”

Twilight lifted her head up. She locked eyes with Spike, sharing with him a tender gaze. She flapped her wings back, flying away from him.

“Well, bye for now, I guess.” Twilight said. “I’ll come visit again next year. Same time?”

As Twilight turned to fly away from the cave, Spike grunted. “Twilight?”

Twilight stopped. “Yes?”

“Can we make it in the next six months this time? I miss you.”

Twilight smiled. “Sure. But you know I’m a busy pony. The moon doesn’t raise itself, you know.”

Celestia shook her head and sighed. “A shame Luna decided to retire when she did. I had hoped you would have been my successor.”

“Well, life doesn’t always work out the way we hoped, does it, Celestia?” Twilight said. “And who knows? Maybe you and Spike can visit us early when Rarity and Hayseed have their second foal.”

“Second?” Spike asked. “Goodness, has it-”

“Been that long already, yes, I know. It has,” Twilight said. “Bye!” Twilight waved her hoof at them before flying out of the cave.

Celestia watched her go. She didn’t notice Spike’s tail rearing up behind her, snatching out at her and wrapping around her, pulling her towards him.

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you just because Twilight was here. You need your fair share of affection, too.” Spike gave Celestia a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, Celestia.”

“I love you, too, Spike.”

Author's Note

This seems a bit underwhelming ; most of my finales are bit more intense. Then again, for a drama, one common plot is a foot-in-mouth BIG MISUNDERSTANDING which the characters have to apologize and forgive each other, and we’ve done quite enough of that!

Could have done more with Cherry’s paranoia, I think.

Well, if Twilight's raising the moon (a spur of the moment decision on my part) Is Celestia still raising the sun?

According to the Fimfic and Fanfiction word counter, this chapter clocks in at 9000+ words, thereby making it the largest chapter in wordcount. This pleases me, as I always find something satisfying with having the final chapter be the biggest. I don’t know why.

Discord messing with Cherry and Applejack and Spike the way he does probably came off better when it was still envisioned as happening more in Chapter 8/9 range, where everypony was still dealing with a few unreasonable things. Now it just across as petty and bored. Which is not unreasonable for Discord.

The chapter title is derived from the first issue of IDW’s Transformers More Than The Meets Eye series, which anyone who looks at my story page should figure out quick that I like Transformers. And that issue’s title itself was taken from the title of a song from the Dexy Midnight Runners!

I will never get over A Canterlot Wedding, and I will bash Shining Armor until the end of time.

Rainbow Dash’s and Fluttershy’s antics are supposed to be a light-hearted comedy beat, it actually seems really OOC for Dash to freak out like that over this and for Fluttershy to use a freakin’ hammer.

Just A Simple Mud Pony

Out in the countryside, out in the country farm, a country pony sat inside her country house, looking at the not-quite-as-country moon from her windowsill.

She let out a sigh. She used to not really pay attention to the moon, cold and distant as it was. It was pretty to look at, sure, but her chores were all done before sundown, so it meant nothing to her. Knowing about the tale of Nightmare Moon made her appreciate its beauty more than she had in the past.

She used to think of the moon as a pointless rock. It didn't do much, just sat there in the sky telling ponies it was nighttime. Now, she thought of it as a symbol, as a jewel. A jewel in the sky she could never reach.

Just like the pony who had stolen her heart – a jewel far beyond her reach.

A scuffle on the wood behind her broke her windowsill vigil. She looked behind her to see her brother up.

“Applejack?” the big red stallion asked, rubbing his tired eyes. “What are you doing still up?”

Applejack sighed. “Nothin', Big Macintosh. Just thinkin'. Wut are y'all doing up?”

“Ah needed a glass of water.” Big Macintosh stated. “Yer thinking about her again, aren't ya?”

Applejack buried her face into the sill. “It's that obvious, huh?”

Big Macintosh nodded. “Eeyup. Applejack, just tell her how y'all feel. Even if she says no, at least then ya can have yer peace of mind back.”

Applejack scoffed. “Since when are you so talkative?”

“About when I started seein' my sister wastin' away by the window every night.”

Applejack rested her head on her hoof. “Y'all don't understand, Big Macintosh. She's a princess now. Not just a regular pony, not just another mare, a princess. Maybe when she was still a normal pony, Ah might have had a chance, but now ...”

“Applejack ...” Big Macintosh came to join her vigil, putting a comforting hoof on her back. “She's still Twilight. She's still your friend, and nothing is ever gonna change that.”

Applejack looked at Big Macintosh, her forest-green eyes shining with desperation, wishing she could believe him. Wishing the abstract construct of love wasn't blockading her from believing he was right and she was wrong to worry. “But … Ah'm just a simple mud pony. She's royalty, Big Mac! Royalty!”

Applejack saw an unfamiliar, surprising emotion in Big Macintosh's eyes. For a moment, he appeared to be angry and wanted to strike for her self-disparaging talk. But he took in a deep breath and restrained himself. “Applejack, if Ah hear you call yourself a simple mud pony again, well … Ah won't be held responsible for what Ah might do. But promise me, Applejack, come tomorrow, you'll tell her.”

Applejack turned her head away. “Ah won't lie to ya, brother. Ah can't promise that. Ah'll try, though.”

Big Macintosh nodded. “Ah'll settle for that. Now go on and git to bed. Y'all need yer sleep for tomorrow. Confessions can take a lot of energy, ya know?” Big Macintosh left her for his belated glass of water.

Applejack took another look outside and sighed again before leaving the windowsill at last to get to her bed. She supposed Big Macintosh had a point about needing sleep before a big confession.

She would need a lot of energy to tell Twilight Sparkle she loved her.

The next day, Applejack could be found on the side of a path in Ponyville. She was waiting for Twilight to pass by. She didn't know Twilight's schedule in and out, but she knew Twilight was a creature of habit, so she should be by this road at some point.

Applejack did her best to resist the various urges entering her which threatened to overcome her. Including, but not limited to; (1) breaking into a sweat, (2) having a nervous breakdown, (3) going back home and forgetting about this ordeal, (4) curling up and dying on the spot.

Twilight appeared at the end of the path, making her way from one end to the other. Her assistant, Spike, followed close behind her. Seeing Twilight in her beauty reinforced Applejack's courage and made her lose her nerve at the same time.

Applejack tugged at her back, pretending she was wearing a tight, form-fitting dress Rarity had made for her for this occasion. Applejack preferred the idea of someone loving her more for her moral strengths rather than her physical attributes, but for the daunting task ahead of her, she would take any advantage she could get. Even an illusionary one provided by an imaginary dress.

“Don't forget, Spike. We need to schedule a visit with Princess Cadence, check in on Discord and make sure he's not up to anything, and visit the Sofa and Quills shop.”

When Applejack spoke, her voice was weak. “Twilight?”

Twilight stopped and turned to Applejack. “Oh, Applejack! I didn't see you there. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be doing chores at Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Big Macintosh is covering for me.” Applejack explained. “Ah wanted to talk to you about something, Twi. Something Ah've been wanting to tell ya for a long time ...”

“Oh.” Twilight became worried. “Okay. What is it?”

"See, Twilight ..." Applejack said. "Ah … the truth is … that is ..." Applejack felt a lump in her throat, as though something she had eaten was prompted to come crawling back up from her stomach for the sole purpose of lodging itself in and prevent her from speaking. "Ah ..." Applejack's neck and facial muscles became tense.

Twilight lifted a hoof as if afraid Applejack was going to explode. She had come to expect this kind of bizarre behavior from Pinkie Pie, but from Applejack? “Applejack, are you okay?”

“Ah … Ah ...” Applejack continued to choke on her words.

Twilight leaned forward and squinted at her. “Applejack, do you need some help? I'll go get somepony from the hospital. They'll know what to do.”

“No!” Applejack shouted, reaching her hoof out to stop Twilight from leaving. The lump of air in her throat seemed to go away when it came to saying anything but a confession. Saying anything except what she needed to say. “Ah'm fine. Y'all don't need to do that, Twi. It's just … this isn't easy for me to say.”

Twilight gripped Applejack hoof. “Applejack … you know you can tell me anything, right? I'm your friend, and friends are there for each other.”

Ah wish Ah could believe you, Twilight. Applejack thought to herself, her tongue still held by a fear of rejection, a fear of ruining their friendship. “Look, Twilight, the truth is …” Come on, come on. It was almost at the tip of her tongue. “Ah-”

“Yes?”

“Ah-”

Whatever nerve Applejack had worked up, it melted when Spike spat out a breath of fire which morphed into a notice. Twilight took the paper with her magic and opened it, skimming the words on it.

“Excuse me, Applejack. Oh. The Princess wants my help in receiving the Saddle Arabians ambassadors later today! Now, what were you saying?”

Seeing Princess Celestia take such a casual approach to summoning Twilight for royal affairs at the drop of a button punched out what little fight Applejack had mustered up. “Uh, never mind, Twilight … it's not important. You go on ahead.”

Twilight gave Applejack's another look of concern. “If you're sure ...” Giving Applejack a chance to raise an objection, Twilight was slow to turn around. When Applejack failed to take the chance, Twilight and Spike left.

Applejack sighed. How was she was supposed to just go up and tell a Princess she was in love with her? It would never happen. Maybe, back when Twilight was a prestigious, but normal pony, there would have been a chance for the two of them to get together. But Twilight was a Princess now, a step above the common folk. Applejack berated herself for even thinking to touch somepony on so high a pedestal. Hanging her head low, Applejack turned to crawl back to Sweet Apple Acres.

She was stopped by a high squeal assaulting her ears, making her wince. She looked up to see her friend, Rarity, bouncing towards her with little yellow cards held high in magic. The cards had pink trim and small print on them. If Applejack had to guess, the cards were invitations.

“Applejack!” Rarity called, far more cheerful than Applejack was. “Here, for you.” Rarity presented Applejack with one of the cards, levitating it in front of Applejack's face. When Applejack put her hoof on it, Rarity's magic faded. Applejack skimmed it over.

“An intimate get-together, huh?” Applejack asked, only lifting her eyebrow by a quarter of inch.

Rarity nodded with vigor. “Yes. It's a special occasion. I have an important announcement to make in front of everypony.”

“Uh-huh.” Applejack didn't believe her. What Rarity considered to be important and what Applejack considered to be important tend to have drastic variations from each other.

“Oh, there's Twilight! Do excuse me, darling.” Rarity walked past Applejack, hurrying after Twilight to give her an invitation as well.

Applejack watched from a distance as Rarity pulled Twilight aside and gave her a card. Applejack skimmed the text of the card, looking up from it at Twilight. “Guess Ah might as well go ...”

At the tea party, as Pinkie Pie continued to call it despite Rarity's insistence on the term “intimate get-together,” Rarity continued to have to lecture Pinkie Pie and talk her down before she attempted a Pinkie Pie-style loud-and-proud makeover to what was supposed to be a quiet, low-key event. All their closest friends were there. Applejack, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy, Spike and … a farmer pony known as Hayseed. He was something of an odd one out.

“So I heard a rumor Rarity's got herself hooked up with a new Special Somepony.” Rainbow Dash whispered to Twilight and Spike. “I guess this little shindig is so she can announce it to the world. Er, but don't tell her I told you!” Rainbow Dash left the two of them to get some punch.

“Are you okay, Spike?” Twilight asked, surprising Spike.

Spike raised his brow at her. “Yeah. I'm fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I know you've had a crush on Rarity for the longest time. So to hear she's found somepony … I imagine that must be hard on you.”

“I'm fine!” Spike insisted. “Remember when she fell for Blueblood? And Trenderhoof? Remember how well THAT turned out? I'm not worried. It's just a phase. It's only a matter of time before Rarity realizes I'm the guy for her ... yup.” Spike rocked back and forth on his feet, balancing on his ankles. “Only a matter of time ...”

Or so he told Twilight. In reality, he was worried about the presence of Hayseed. A while back, Hayseed attempted to woo Rarity with some flowers. Spike's envy got the best of him and he lied to Hayseed about Rarity's relationship status, claiming she already had a fiance. It was nothing much, just a little white lie. Oh, and he may have stolen the flowers Hayseed purchased for Rarity and took them to her himself. Not a major deception, right?

Still, Spike assured himself there was nothing for him to worry about. Even though he was sure he caught Hayseed giving him dirty looks.

Across the room, Rarity looked took stock of the status of the party. She noticed Applejack was missing, in addition to one of her doors being ajar. Becoming suspicious, Rarity left the kitchen and entered the room.

Flicking on the light, she caught Applejack red-handed digging through her liquor cabinet, her neck deep down in the cellar doors and her tail hanging upwards.

“Helping yourself, Applejack?” Rarity asked. “A shame. I thought we were building such good trust with each other.”

Applejack lifted her head out from the cellar, a green bottle held sideways in her mouth. She spat out the bottle into her hoof. “Ah was gonna ask before Ah opened it ...”

“I'm sure you were, darling.” Rarity said, walking towards Applejack. “Have you told her yet?”

Applejack shrugged. “No.”

“Applejack, darling, you cannot go on like this.” Rarity snatched the bottle from Applejack's hoof. “You can't hide your feelings from Twilight forever, and you certainly shouldn't be turning to alcohol to hide from them!”

“Ah know, Rarity, Ah know.” Applejack said. She reached for the alcohol bottle, though Rarity used her magic to levitate it out of her reach.

“I should be ashamed of myself, enabling you like I have.” Rarity murmured. It was true. She'd been enabling Applejack the last few days. She and Big Macintosh were the only ponies who knew about Applejack's crush and Rarity had found herself doing triple duty. First, as Applejack's confidante, hearing her troubles. Second, as her therapist, trying to sooth her late at night when Applejack was frustrated with herself. Third, as Applejack's personal bar, providing Applejack with alcoholic drinks, as she had taken up drinking to hide from her emotions.

“Ah know.” Applejack repeated. “But Ah got a plan this time, Rarity. Ah'm gonna get drunk, lose my, what do you call it, inhibition, and then tell Twilight how Ah feel.”

Rarity swung the bottle through the air and bonked Applejack on the nose. “No. Take it from me, Applejack, a drunk confession of love is a terrible idea. If you start off like that, Twilight will never take your love seriously.”

“But … but ...” Applejack dropped to her haunches. She sunk further until she was lying on her stomach. “Ah don't know what else to do … Ah don't have any other ideas.”

Rarity lost her temper, throwing the bottle against the wall to smash it and prevent Applejack from using its contents to get drunk. “For goodness sake, Applejack! If all you can come up with is getting drunk, then perhaps you would be better off having no ideas at all!”

“Ah know.” Applejack repeated, covering her eyes with her hooves.

Rarity sighed. “I suppose I can't held it against you. Celestia knows I've grown desperate when I was looking for my Special Somepony. But now I've found him. Come. It's time to let all our friends and the world know … I've found my someone.”

Rarity helped Applejack to her hooves and guided her through the door.

“I hope you can find yours.” Rarity whispered. “But right now, just for the moment, it's time to focus on my happiness instead of your despair. I deserve that much, don't you think?”

“Yeah … you do.” Applejack mumbled, walking out with Rarity. Applejack sat by the kitchen table and remained silent.

“Don't worry, Applejack. I'll get back to you. But for right now ...” Rarity clinked a spoon against a glass for everypony's attention. “Everypony, your attention, please!” As all eyes turned on her, Rarity felt satisfied. She cleared her throat. “As you all know, I've been looking for someone special in my life for … quite some time now. I tried a few suitors, you know. Blueblood, Trenderhoof … but none of them turned out well. A few days ago, that changed when the perfect stallion appeared before me. He had been living next to me all my life, and I never even noticed him. Well, today that changes. Today, I am proud to announce, to you, my friends, and to the world, the one and only colt for me is ...”

Spike took a cocky stride forward, eager to receive his due recognition and take his place by Rarity's side.

“Hayseed Turnip Truck, who I've invited here today.”

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

“Hayseed, come on up!” Rarity gestured for the odd man out to come up to the table. He took his spot by Rarity, blushing as everypony else cheered for him – except Spike.

“Congratulations, Hayseed.” Fluttershy said. “I'm sure you and Rarity will be very happy together.”

“Eh, I'm not one for mushy stuff. But if it makes Rarity happy, who am I to judge?” Rainbow Dash shrugged. She flew up to Hayseed, getting into his face. “One thing, though, pal. You make my buddy Rarity cry, and I will see to it you get a thunderbolt where the sun don't shine.” She jabbed Hayseed's chest.

“Rainbow Dash.” Rarity scolded, wanting Dash to leave her boyfriend alone.

“It's okay, Rarity.” Hayseed said, pushing Dash's hoof off. “She's just looking out for her friend. I'd want my friends looking out for me, too.” His eyes shifted towards Spike for only a split-second.

Spike winced. He thought he saw Hayseed glance at him before, but now he knew it.

“I'm sorry I can't stay, Rarity.” Twilight said. “The Princess asked my help in receiving officials from Saddle Arabia. But my best wishes to you and Hayseed!”

“Thank you, darling. No need for apologies, darling.” Rarity bowed. “A Princess's duties must come first, after all.”

“Thanks. Come on, Spike.” Twilight put her hoof on Spike's shoulder, oblivious to how distraught he was. “If we keep the Princess waiting any longer, we'll be late.”

Twilight and Spike arrived at Canterlot by pegasus-driven carriage. Spike was quiet and sulky the entire ride. Twilight didn't notice at first, as it meant she could read a book during the trip without being interrupted by Spike's whining. But after landing, Twilight realized Spike had been quiet, and as a cliché as it is to say, he had been too quiet.

“Spike?” Twilight brushed a hoof along his head scales. “Are you okay? You didn't say a single word the entire trip. Is something wrong?”

“I'm fine.” Spike pushed her hoof away. “Nothing to worry about. Let's go see the Princess.” Spike carried himself as if he was king of the world.

“Oh. This is about Hayseed, isn't it?” Twilight realized. “Spike, you were so confident about Rarity and you before. What happened?”

Spike crossed his arms. “Nothing happened.”

“Well, something had to happen, or you wouldn't be acting this way. What is it, Spike?”

“What's what? What do you mean, Twilight?”

“I mean, what's different about Hayseed from the others? What separates him from Blueblood and Trenderhoof?”

“Nothing, okay?” Spike snapped. He didn't tell Twilight about his deception. Why would he? What Twilight didn't know wouldn't hurt her. If Twilight knew he lied to Hayseed and used the flowers Hayseed had worked for and purchased to give to Rarity himself, Twilight would give him one of her awful, tedious lectures. This one would be all about morals and being the better man and letting Hayseed have his chance to be with Rarity.

Well, what about MY chances? Don't I deserve as much? Spike thought to himself. I saved her from Diamond Dogs, didn't I? Well, I tried to, at least. Did Hayseed ever try to rescue her from Diamond Dogs? I even worked as a pincushion for her. I helped her with gems, I helped with her dress, I even gave her my Fire Ruby!

Spike shook his head to clear it of those thoughts. He gestured with his arm. “Come on, Twilight. The Princess is waiting.”

“Yes, she is.” Twilight agreed. She bent her head down and whispered to him. “But don't think this conversation is over.” They walked up to the palace entrance and knocked on the door.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” A Royal Guard opened the door and bowed to her. “Princess Celestia has been waiting.”

“Yes, I know. We were sidetracked.” Twilight glanced towards Spike. Twilight and Spike followed the Guard, who announced them to the majestic form of Princess Celestia.

“Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia and Twilight recognized each other with a bow. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I would've had Luna do it, but she's busy helping Cadence.”

“It's no problem. After all, I know a Princess' work is never done.”

“The ambassadors should be arriving in just another half-hour.” Celestia said, gesturing her head at the adjacent hallway. “Would you care to join me in waiting?”

“I would love to. We could catch up on each other while we wait.”

Princess Celestia draped her wing over Twilight the she would lay a blanket over her child. Spike walked behind them down the hall, but he was surprised when Twilight place a hoof in front of him.

“Ooh. Why don't you sit this one out, Spike? You're not real royalty, and the Saddle Arabians might be offended by us including you in their visit.”

“What?” Spike exclaimed. “I'm your number one assistant, Twilight! Does being a Princess's assistant not count for being royalty?”

“Uh … not really, no. Although, since she made me a Princess, maybe Princess Celestia can make you a royal retainer or vassal in the future?” Twilight looked to Celestia, hopeful.

Celestia responded with an amused smile. “I will see what I can do. Why don't you go visit Doughnut Joe's while you wait, Spike?”

“Okay ...” Spike sagged his shoulders. Celestia and Twilight shut the door. Spike was used to this kind of treatment. It wasn't the first time he was left out of his friends' activities, though in the past, it had been because he was a baby dragon or because he wasn't a girl. Not because he wasn't “royal enough.”

Spike walked backwards down the royal carpet. He decided to take up Celestia's advice and visit Donut Joe's for some comfort food.

Spike was expecting to leave the castle, go to Joe's, eat and come back. What he was not expecting was the sound of Hayseed's voice as he traveled through the castle.

“Here ya go, sir.” Hayseed said. Spike hid behind a doorway and peered out. Hayseed was in the other room. Why was he in the castle, and at the same time Spike was also in the castle, no less?

Spike got his answer as he noticed Hayseed was handing a Guard a business card. “And here's my card. If you have any complaints, want a refund, don't be afraid to give a holler, ya hear?”

The Guard nodded. “Thank you, Mister Turnip. Oh, I heard your big news. Congratulations on getting together with Miss Rarity. She's quite the catch.”

“She is.” Hayseed expressed with fondness. “It was difficult, of course. But it was all worth it in the end.”

“Well, I hope you two will be happy together.”

Hayseed patted his hoof against his chest. “We will. I'll make sure of it.”

“Thanks again.” The Guard said, waving the card as he left. “You run a good business, Mister Turnip.”

“Thank you.” Hayseed replied. He adjusted his shirt.

Spike held his claws against the door frame, his heart pounding in his chest. He was alone with Hayseed in the wide, wide space of Canterlot Castle. Twilight and Celestia would be busy with the ambassadors for some time, so if Hayseed were to notice him and decide to do something unsavory as payback for Spike lying to him, Spike wasn't he'd be able to make it out without a few bruises.

Hayseed continued to fiddle with his shirt. Not because it was in actual need of fixing, but because it gave his hooves something to do.

He spoke the words Spike was fearing to hear.

“You might as well come out, Spike.” Hayseed said. He quit fiddling with his clothes. “It'll do nopony any good for y'all to keep hiding behind the door. Might as well come out and we can settle this face-to-face like real stallions.”

Spike gulped. With a nervous pace, he stepped into the room with Hayseed.

“So, what do you want to do to me?” Spike asked. “Good old fisticuffs? Tie me up and lock me in a closet where nopony will find me? At least not until after you've eloped with Rarity and made a clean getaway? What?”

“Spike, I ain't some kind of cartoon supervillian.” Hayseed approached him. “I'm not gonna do anything of the sort. I just want to talk.”

“Talk?”

“Yeah, talk. You want to know how Rarity and I got together?”

Spike, too scared for words, gave a nod.

“I was walking on the street one day for a job I was paid to do.” Hayseed said. “I passed by her on the street. I gave her a wave. I remembered what you told me and asked how her fiance was doing. She gave the blankest look I had ever seen on a mare and told me she didn't have a fiance. “Where in Equestria did you get the idea I have a fiance?” She asked me. I didn't tell her it was you. I didn't want her to think less of you, see.”

Spike swallowed hard. “Nice of you.”

“Hm-hmm.” Hayseed nodded. “I hesitated. I asked her out. She said yes, and we hit it off. Now, I was trying not to jump to conclusions about you. Maybe you had good reason for saying she had a fiance. I couldn't know. I made a note to ask you about later. But … I saw a bouquet of flowers on her counter which looked a bit familiar. I asked her where she got them from. She said they were from you. And … I realized those were the EXACT flowers I was going to give her before you lied to me. You lied to me, Spike.”

Hayseed approached Spike. Spike's heartbeat pounded in his chest, each step Hayseed took one step bringing Spike closer to his doom.

“You told me she had a boyfriend. You told me she had a fiance. You told me it was “super-serious.” So, Spike, what I want – and I'm not asking for much, here – all I want … is to know something.”

Hayseed was inches in front of Spike.

“Why?”

Spike was caught off-guard by Hayseed's simple, small, and innocent question. “Er, come again?”

“Why did you lie to me, Spike?” Hayseed said. “And give Rarity the flowers I got for her?”

“I, uh, well ...” Spike fiddled with his fingers. “I mean ...” Hayseed lowered his eyelids, not amused with Spike's stumbling. Spike took in a deep breath and braced himself.

“Because I love her!” Spike snapped. “I love her, and her heart's only big enough for one Special Somepony in her life, and it's ME! I'm going to her Special Somepony. You're just a phase!” Spike pointed his claw at him. “Just like Blueblood or Trenderhoof! Rarity will fawn over you for awhile before she realizes you're not good enough for her and I ...” Spike beat on his chest. “Am! I deserve Rarity's love. I gave her a rare and precious gem, I worked as a pincushion, and I saved her from Diamond Dogs! What did YOU do, huh?”

Hayseed bared his teeth. “I worked hard, is what I did! I started my own business with my own bare hooves. I made myself a respectable Canterlot-worthy pony, and if SOMEPONY hadn't LIED to me, I would have given her flowers!”

“Yeah?” Spike growled, pressing his nose against Hayseed's, fear forgotten, ready to engage in the time-honored animal tradition of engaging in masculine displays of might for the right to court Rarity.

He had forgotten to take into account Twilight Sparkle.

“Spike!”

Spike separated from Hayseed and whipped around to see Twilight staring him down. Spike was ready to challenge Hayseed, but he was going to back down from challenging Twilight. It was akin to the difference between challenging a wild bull and challenging a fire-breathing cyborg T.rex. Hayseed was the bull. Twilight was the T.rex.

“What in the wide-wide world of Equestria is going on here?'

“I ...” Spike twiddled his fingers. “Weren't you with Celestia with the Saddle Arabians?”

“We finished, Spike. They just left. Now answer my question. What is going on here?”

“I was, um, fighting with Hayseed over Rarity.”

“Well, unless I'm hearing things, you admitted you lied to Hayseed and you gave Rarity flowers from Hayseed while pretending they were from you?”

Spike nodded.

“Hmph! I'm sure if Rarity knew about it, she'd tell you herself you're not deserving. But since she's not here, I'll do it. I doubt Rarity would want to spend her life with somepony willing to lie and break the hearts of other ponies to increase his standing with her!”

Spike began to tear up. Spike had thought a lecture would be the worst of his worries, but if Twilight told Rarity about this … he'd never have any chance to be with Rarity ever again. “But, Twilight … haven't I earned the right to be with Rarity?”

“Maybe. You do a lot for her. But you DID NOT have the right to lie to Hayseed and break his heart! He has just as much right to court Rarity as you do!” Twilight pointed towards Hayseed. “You apologize to him right now!”

Spike turned back to Rarity. “I'm … sorry, Hayseed.”

“I … guess I forgive you.” Hayseed mumbled. “You … you ...”

“Well?” Spike asked, his voice breaking, tears rolling down his cheeks as his deception was revealed for the world to see. “Say it! Say it! I deserve it!”

“You … you ...” Hayseed huffed and puffed. His eyes became bloodshot.

“Say it!”

“TWERP!”

Spike ran off to another room, blubbering and crying even though “twerp” was one of the least disparaging things Hayseed could have thought to call him. Twilight Sparkle reached out her hoof to stop him, but she thought better of trying to console him in the state he was.

Hayseed a took a deep breath, his eyes returning to normal. “Well, I feel much better now. How do you do, Miss Twilight?”

“Oh, fine.” Twilight looked away from her. She went bug-eyed at the sight of Princess Celestia appearing in the opposing doorway.

Twilight bit her lip. “Princess? You don't think I was too hard on him, do you?”

Princess Celestia glanced in the direction Spike had run off. “I do not know. Perhaps you were. Perhaps you were just hard enough. Let me spend some time with him and I'll have an answer for you.”

Twilight nodded. She bowed to Princess Celestia. Celestia returned the bow before leaving.

Spike ran to an outside balcony. He climbed up on the velvet seating, curled into a fetal position, and cried under the cold and impassive starry night. “It's not fair.” Spike mumbled to himself. His tears distorted his voice to the point of incomprehension to anyone who wasn't him.

The door to the balcony opened, casting the light from inside the building over the balcony.

“Go away.” Spike shouted, picking up a pillow and throwing it at whoever was opening the door. He looked over his shoulder and went into panic mode. Princess Celestia was standing in the doorway, holding the pillow in her magic. Spike realized he had just thrown a pillow at Princess Celestia. He winced, expecting to be drawn, quartered, tried for treason and hanged.

“Oh … oh my gosh, Princess Celestia, I'm sorry!” Spike hopped off the couch and got to his knees. “Please don't banish me – or – or send me to a dungeon or – banish me and send me to a dungeon in the place you banished me to!”

Celestia said nothing, approaching him with her usual calm demeanor. Her lack of reaction scared Spike more than anything. It was as if she was a programmed automaton. She examined the pillow. Using her magic, she set the pillow down on the couch, lifted Spike up, and placed him on the pillow.

Spike was baffled. “I -”

“Ssh.” Princess Celestia told him. Her voice was so warm and comforting, Spike almost expected her to follow up with a bedtime story and carry him to bed. Another one of the many mysteries surrounding the Princess, he supposed.

Princess Celestia sat next to him, looking upwards at the stars in silence. Seeing she wasn't going to speak anytime soon, Spike looked up with her. He admired the natural beauty of the nighttime. The stars shining in the sky. How did the old song go? Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are ...like a diamond in the sky. Diamonds in the sky was a good description for them.

“They're beautiful, aren't they?” Princess Celestia spoke, making Spike jump out of his skin.

“Uh, yeah.” Spike said, resting on his claws. “Gorgeous.”

“My sister put a lot of work into them, don't you think?” Celestia asked.

Spike nodded. He wasn't sure where this was going and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. “Yeah. She does, doesn't she?”

Celestia nodded, satisfied with Spike's answer. “You put in a lot of work for Rarity, don't you?”

Spike wasn't sure how to answer her question at first. “Um, yeah. I do.”

“And Hayseed ...”

“I don't want to talk about Hayseed.” Spike insisted, turning away from the Princess.

“I don't think you did anything wrong, Spike.” Princess Celestia said, which baffled Spike.

Spike turned back to her, eyebrows raised. “Um, what?”

“Well, perhaps I misspoke. Perhaps you did do something wrong. But you were only doing what mother nature trained us to do. When a threat – Hayseed – came onto your territory – Rarity – you did what any animal would do and defended your territory. Don't you think?”

“Uh, yeah.” Spike scratched the back of his head. “I guess you could look at it like that ...”

“So you see where your mistake was, Spike?” Celestia asked.

“Um, lying to Hayseed?” Spike guessed. He sagged his shoulders. “I don't know.”

“Your mistake was considering Rarity your territory. Did Rarity say she loved you? Did Rarity say you were your boyfriend, her fiance, anything more than just a friend?”

“No.” Spike was forced to admit. There were hints in the past Rarity may have known about Spike's crush on her, but nothing more than just hints.

“Then you shouldn't have done to Hayseed what you did.” Celestia told him. Harsh, but true and straightforward, with no beating around the bush.

“No.” Spike groaned, putting his claws over his head. “All this time, I've been waiting for Rarity to realize I'm the one for her and Twilight – and Hayseed – they don't seem to get it. They don't … understand how frustrating it is for me to work to earn Rarity's affection as hard as I have and get nothing for it!”

“I understand, Spike.” Celestia's voice was calm and soothing. “You remind me of somepony I met long ago. She put a lot of work for what she loved, just like you have. When nopony recognized her for it, she did a bad thing. Just like you did.”

Spike groaned and whimpered, turning away.

“But.” Celestia's tone was as sharp as a knife. “She got better. She atoned for it and made amends. She was forgiven. I think … if ponies could forgive her, Hayseed and Twilight could forgive you.”

Spike looked at the Princess, putting two and two together. “You're not … talking about Princess Luna, are you?”

Celestia chuckled. “So you caught on to my little game. Yes, yes, I am. Think about it, Spike. If we can forgive Luna for becoming Nightmare Moon, we can forgive you for telling a little lie, can't we?”

“Yeah.” Spike nodded. “Yeah, I guess we can. I mean, Hayseed and Twilight can.”

“Good.” Princess Celestia wrapped her large wing around Spike's tiny body and pulled him close, nuzzling his head with her snout. “Why don't you go see Hayseed and Twilight and see about apologies before you turn into Nightmare Spike or something?”

“Really?” Spike asked. “I can do that?” He looked at his claws, fascinated by the prospect he could become a shadowy monster of the darkness at the drop of a hat.

Princess Celestia tugged her wing on him, refocusing his attention back on her. “I'd rather we not find out and that remain a mystery.” She said with an encouraging smile. Princess Celestia hugged him with her wing before she stood up and went to the door.

“Where are you going?” Spike asked. He was kinda enjoying talking one-on-one with Princess Celestia.

“To tell Twilight she wasn't too harsh on you.” Celestia closed the door behind him. Spike, not having the context for Celestia's answer, was confused by it. He scratched his head.

Although … Spike held his gaze on the door where Princess Celestia had left. Their little talk had caused Spike to realized an obvious hidden truth which never occurred to him before.

Princess Celestia was quite beautiful.

Meanwhile in Ponyville, Applejack was resting her hoof on the windowsill. She was staring at the moon again, sighing and thinking about Twilight.
As per the night before, Big Macintosh came down the stairs and saw his sister staring at the silver orb. “Applejack? Did you tell her?”

Applejack shook her head. “No, Big Macintosh, Ah did not tell her.”

Big Macintosh helped himself to a couple of sighs. “Applejack, Ah respect this is a sensitive topic and it needs to be handled with delicate care when you talk to Twilight. But so help me, if this goes on for a few more nights, Ah may just tell her mahself.” Big Macintosh turned and walked upstairs.

“Hmph.” Applejack huffed to herself. “You'd solve so many problems if you did, Big Brother.”

Still, Applejack felt she couldn't compete. She wasn't a valid choice as Twilight's suitor. She wasn't a prince from a faraway land or a knight in shining armor or anything fancy in the same vein. She was Applejack. Humble, honest, down-to-earth Applejack.

While Twilight … Twilight was a Princess. Twilight was Princess Celestia's personal student. Twilight had a coat colored lavender – lavender, which was a shade of purple, which was associated with nobles. How could Applejack hope to the win the heart of somepony whose bare flesh alone represented the color of royalty …

While she was just a simple mud pony?

Author's Note

Hello, one and all! You remember His Vector Grey and Her Void Pink? You remember how depressing and romantic those were? Well, this story does NOT take place in the same universe …

But it will be similarly depressing.

Not sure if the confrontation with Hayseed and Spike went down quite like I wanted to, though. I also think some people may have issues with Applejack's portrayal in regards to the alcohol, but eh. You win some, you lose some.

I was going to make the pony Rarity was in love just some random no-name guy. Who would, in the same vein as billions of other RariSpike stories, turn out to be no good, allowing Rarity to see Spike was her one true choice ALL ALOONG! But then I read about Hayseed Turnip Truck and his role in IDW comics and decided it would be more interesting to use him for two reasons.

1) He's a canon character. 2) It provides for a more interesting story, as Spike is clearly not in the right here as he would be in a typical RariSpike fic. It makes the story more grey instead of black and white, as Hayseed is not a bad guy and Spike is not the squeaky-clean good guy he would be in those kind of feelgood stories.

So yeah. Expect lots of relationship drama in this story.

Edit: I forgot to mention, this story is based on a request from a friend of mine. I don't normally do requests, but I made an exception for him. The basics of the request were a shipping story with Applejack/Twilight and Spike/Celestia.

All Take And No Give

Celestia, having enjoyed her night out with Spike, offered to walk him home at night. On the doorstep of the library, they waved goodbye to each other, and Celestia spread her wings and flew back to Canterlot.

Going inside, Spike closed the door and rested on it, sighing to himself. He heard footsteps outside and realized somepony else was coming and he needed to get out of the way, so he moved.

The door swung open, and Twilight Sparkle and Applejack walked in.

“Oh, hi, girls.” Spike said, trying to act cool as he put his claw against the wall. “What are you doing back here so soon?”

“Twilight's had a long night, so I figured I'd offer to walk her home.” Applejack said. She looked away from Spike after speaking, crossing her front leg across her other front leg in a nervous gesture.

“Yes ...” Twilight glared daggers at Spike. “A long night.”

Spike tried to deflect with a nervous smile. “Uh, hey! Just because you didn't have good night, don't go taking it out on those who of us who did.”

“Well, that would be fine, except “those of us” who DID have a nice night are directly responsible for the reason why some of us didn't.” Twilight snarled at her, baring her teeth. She put a hoof to her forehead and sighed. “Ugh. Forget it. I don't want to have this conversation with you right now. I'm going to bed.” Twilight marched up the steps.

“Good night!” Spike shouted to her as she left. Twilight ignored him and carried on her way.

“Well … I'll leave y'all be. Good night, Spike.” Applejack said.

“Good night, Applejack.” Applejack departed and Spike closed the door behind her. Spike bounced on his feet, ready to get sleep and wake up the next day to spend with Celestia.

Oh, but did he want to go to bed so soon after Twilight did? There was no way she would be asleep yet, and she would take the slightest excuse to yell at him.

Spike considered not going to bed, but he realized it was getting late, and if he were honest with himself, he knew he would admit he was just looking to stay up past his bedtime. So he brushed his teeth and risked going upstairs.

Twilight didn't recognize him with anything more than frustrated grunt and rolling to face away from him. Spike crawled into his basket, happy despite how clear it was Twilight was more than upset with him.

The following day, Twilight and Spike woke up and performed their morning routine. Brushing their teeth, brushing their mane and head scales, going through the morning checklist (for Twilight) and eating breakfast. They settled for cereal this morning.

After finishing his bowl, Spike laid his spoon down the table and crossed his arms behind his head, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied sigh.

“So … I was thinking of writing a letter to Princess Celestia, asking her to come over. You know, learn more about her.”

This got the response anyone other than Spike would have expected out of Twilight. Twilight laid her silverware down, slammed her hoof on the table, and glared at Spike with a U-shaped frown.

“Right.” Spike clicked his tongue and pointed. “Should have seen that coming.” Spike hopped out of his chair and went to write the letter. Twilight took it upon herself to put the dishes away.

Spike got out his quill and parchment. “Dear Princess Celestia, this is Spike writing. I was wondering if you could come over today ...”

Twilight hung her head and grunted. “Do you have to write it out loud, Spike?”

Spike chuckled. “Sorry. Where was I?” He aimed the quill at the parchment as though it were a throwing dart and jabbed the parchment where his letters cut off.

I was wondering if you could come over today. I would love to spend some more time with you and get to learn more about you. We could tell each other about ourselves! Yours truly, Spike.

Spike rolled up the parchment and blew flames onto it, his magical dragon fire teleporting it to the Princess.

Before the time Twilight could shoot off another glare, there was a reply back from the Princess.

Dear Spike,

I'm flattered you think of me so much, and as much as I enjoy seeing both you and Twilight Sparkle, I'm afraid I can't come over today. I am a Princess, Spike. I have responsibilities. I cannot drop everything and shove everything onto Luna every time you're stricken with the desire to see me. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

“Oh … okay.” Spike was deflated by her reply. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

“What? What is it? What did she say?” Twilight asked, showing concern for Spike for what felt the like first time in too long.

“She said she couldn't come over because she has to deal with Princess business.” Spike said. He held up the letter and rotated it, as if looking for some secret message or some other expression of affection, say, a flower wrapped inside the parchment, or something of the nature. “There's got to be a way she can make more time for me …”

“As much as you seem to think otherwise, she's not Rarity, Spike.” Twilight said. “Running a country is a lot more work than operating a clothing business.”

“Yeah … hey, maybe I can volunteer to do some of her Princess work for her! That way, she'd have more time for me, right?”

“Ha! Good luck with that.” Twilight said. “Princess Celestia wouldn't give you any job you don't qualify for, and I bet there a lot of them. Besides, don't you realize you taking over some of her responsibilities means you wouldn't have the time for her? You're just making a trade-off.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Spike looked at the letter. “Well, maybe we could spend time together on the job? Or … maybe you could volunteer and take over some of her duties.”

Twilight responded with a silent, angry glare.

“Come on, Twilight!” Spike rolled up the letter up and held it behind his back. “You know you can't stop what's going between me and Celestia, so you might as well help! If you can't beat them, join them, right?”

Twilight remained silent, still as a statue, as if her expression was stuck on her face.

“Uh, I mean .. you can't stop true love!” Spike swiped an eager fist through the air. “Right? Please, Twilight? I want to spend more time with her and get to know her more. I've been learning so much about her I didn't know before! A side to her I've never seen, and I want to get to know her the way a a good boyfriend should know his Very Special Somepony.”

Twilight kept up her unrelenting silence. She turned away from Spike and went up the stairs.

“Fine.” Spike held the letter up. “I'll just go talk to somepony else.” Spike hobbled to the front entrance and opened the door. He was surprised to see Applejack there, for the second time in a row.

“Hey, Applejack.”

“Howdy, Spike.” Applejack took her hat off and held it over her chest. “Is-Is Twilight home?”

“Yeah.” Spike pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “She's upstairs.” Spike began to walk past her, but he stopped, getting an idea. “Hey … you wouldn't happen to know anything about Princess Celestia's schedule, would you?”

“I'm pretty sure I don't know anything more about the Princess than Twilight. Why don't y'all ask her?”

Spike glared to the side. “Uh, yeah, well … thanks anyway.” He supposed he couldn't blame Applejack for not knowing he already tried asking Twilight, and what a bad idea it was.

“You're welcome, Spike.”

Spike went off on his own. Applejack entered the library and closed the door, seeking to maintain some privacy between her and Twilight.

“Twilight?” Applejack called, walking into the house.

Twilight was halfway up the stairs when she heard Applejack calling her name. “Hello, Applejack! What are you doing here?”

“Thought I'd come by and check up on ya.” Applejack put her hat back on as Twilight walked down the stairs. “Make sure you were doing okay after, you know, everything that happened last night.”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. “I'm … fine, Applejack.”

“Y'all sure about that?”

Twilight placed a hoof to her forehead. “I've been better. I'm still … functional, though.”

Functional. That's a good word. Applejack thought. It means everything's functioning. Everything is in working order. It's more than I can say for myself, some nights.

“Why don't you tell me about it, Twilight?” Applejack offered.

Twilight took in a deep breath. “It's awful! Not only is Princess Celestia dating Spike, which is highly suspect in of itself, but when I try to voice my concerns to her, she dismisses me out of hand! What am I, a child?”

“Uh-huh.” Applejack knew to expect the floodgate of words which about to come out of Twilight's mouth, so she was going to smile and nod.

“And Spike! What is he thinking, dating the Princess? She's a nine-hundred years older than him at the least, and that's being generous! And you just know that's he's only using her as a substitute for Rarity. I mean, think about it! Both Rarity and Celestia – and don't you dare tell Rarity I said this about her – but they're both white, voluptuous unicorns with long, flowing manes. Seriously, don't let Rarity know I called her voluptuous. She'd never let me hear the end of it.” Twilight paused. “Actually, on second thought, don't let Celestia know either.”

“Uh-huh.” Applejack nodded and raised an eyebrow. “Twilight? How would you … describe … me?”

“You?” Twilight asked. “Uh, well, you're honest … kind, hardworking.”

Applejack shook her head. “That's not what I meant, Twilight. You said Rarity and Celestia were voluptuous. I mean, how would you describe me … physically? How would you describe … my body?”

“You? Uh, you're, uh ...” Twilight stammered, at a loss for words. What an odd question. “You're buff! And toned and muscular.”

Applejack stared at Twilight for a minute before looking to the floor. “I see.”

“Hey, don't worry, Applejack.” Twilight said. “You're also blonde! I know lots of colts are into blondes!”

Applejack lifted her head up. “Yeah.” Applejack laughed and smiled. “Colts.”

Twilight wasn't sure what was so funny, but she laughed with A.J. She laughed with her friend. “Applejack? Thanks for coming by and checking on me, and listening to me go on. It … it means a lot to me that you would do that.”

Applejack's ears perked up, her hopes being teased.

“As a friend.” Twilight continued.

Applejack's ears flopped down.

“You know, I've been so caught up with my feelings and my problems, I haven't asked you're feeling. How are you feeling, Applejack?”

How do I feel? Applejack thought. I feel ...

“Hollow.”

Twilight adopted a confused look. “Hollow? What -what do you mean by, 'hollow,' Applejack?”

“Oh, shoot. Did I say that out loud? That was supposed to stay inside my head.” Applejack turned towards the door. “Well, I'll get out of your hair.”

“Oh, it's no trouble, A.J! You're not in my hair at all. I don't have anything planned for the day. You can stay, if you want.”

Applejack was already at the door. Holding the door, she gave Twilight a saddened look. “Trust me, Twilight. It's really better if I go.” Applejack prepared to close the door.

“Applejack, wait!”

Applejack halted.

“Between you this morning and Rarity last night, you've all been acting weird lately. Is something going on? Is there something I don't know about?”

Applejack sighed. “Rarity's fine, Twilight. But … yes, there's something you don't know.”

“Okay.” Twilight said. “Would you like to tell me what that something is?”

“More than anything.”

Twilight wasn't sure how to respond to that. “Would you ... care to tell me the something you would like to me?”

“No, not really. I … I'm sorry, Twilight. I can't.” Tears began to form in the corners of Applejack's eyes. “It's just too painful. I-I can't tell you.”

“Hey.” Twilight said. She walked over to Applejack and put her hooves on Applejack's shoulders. “It's okay. If you can't tell me right now, that's fine. I understand if it's too painful right now or if something's stopping you. But when you're ready, you just let me know, and I'll be there for you, waiting to listen. I'm your friend, okay? That's what friends do for each other.”

Applejack sniffed. “Okay … thank you, Twilight.”

“Okay.” Twilight smiled. “There. No more tears.” Twilight took her hooves and wiped the tears from Applejack's eyes. “Okay?”

Applejack nodded.

With Twilight holding Applejack's cheeks the in the tender, caring way she was, it would have been easy to turn this into a romantic moment. All Applejack had to do was reach her legs out, wrap them around Twilight's neck, and pull her in close for a kiss. It would be … so easy. But Applejack wouldn't. She couldn't do that to Twilight, to her friend. If she was going to confess, she was going to do it the way she knew how; with honesty. No unwilling or unwanted surprise kisses.

Applejack grabbed Twilight's hooves and lifted them off her cheeks. She pushed herself away from Twilight.

“Goodbye, Twilight.”

“Goodbye, Applejack.” Twilight said with sincerity. She watched Applejack walk for a short distance before closing the door.

As Applejack headed back to Sweet Apple Acres, or anywhere which wasn't the library, really, she was observed by Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, for once unaccompanied, without Hayseed by her side. The four of them were enjoying an early lunch together.

“Poor thing.” Rarity said. “So much heartache inside her ...”

“I wonder what's upsetting her?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity grimaced, realizing she hadn't told Fluttershy or the others about Applejack's crush, and her words might have been a slip-up. Rarity hoped they wouldn't catch on. It wasn't Rarity's secret to tell.

“She looks sad.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Yeah … come on, guys, we gotta do something!” Rainbow Dash rested her head on her hoof and turned away. “I can't stand to see A.J like this. How am I supposed to hoofwrestle my chief athletic rival when she's like … that?”

Pinkie Pie threw her hooves on the table and let out a loud gasp. “You know what we should do for her? WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY!”

Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash turned to each other, each of them nodding and murmuring agreement.

“Ordinarily, I might object to your proposed parties being the solution for everything, but I think a good get-together could be just what Applejack needs.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash said. “A chance to forget about her problems, drink a lot of punch, get drunk, and do something stupid ...”

“A chance to sit down and be quiet with friends.” Fluttershy said. “And talk about what's bothering her with no one to judge her for it.”

Rarity let out a nervous chuckle. “Well, I'm not so sure about that idea ...”

“We'll host it at Sugarcube Corner.” Pinkie Pie said. “Rainbow Dash, you're charge of drinks – non-alcoholic.” Pinkie Pie stressed with a growl, and Rainbow Dash was frightened enough to nod her head and obey Pinkie's demand. “I'm trusting you on this. Don't let me down, Dashie. Fluttershy, you get to be in charge of entertainment, and Rarity, you get to help me with decorations. Let's try to go something soothing and relaxing, with lots of blues and lavender.”

“I'll get my bird choir to sing a relaxing ballad.” Fluttershy said.

“You can count on us!” Rainbow Dash saluted.

Pinkie Pie glared at Dash.

“Yes, I'll make sure it's non-alcoholic. Though … I might bring a bottle for myself.”

“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy exclaimed in appall.

“What? I'm just joking, heh.”

“Um … maybe not lavender, darling.” Rarity said. “Just … trust me on this one, okay?”

“Okay!” Pinkie Pie said. “I expect to see all of you at Sugarcube Corner in three hours. Except you, Rarity.” Pinkie Pie reached over and picked Rarity up, lifting her over head. “You're coming with me now.” Pinkie Pie sped off in the direction of Sugarcube Corner, leaving behind a trail of dust.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy looked to each other in shock.

“How does she think we can be ready for a party in three hours?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“How can she be ready for a party in three hours?” Fluttershy said. “I mean, I might understand if she had been planning this, but this was a spur-of-the-moment idea ...”

Rainbow Dash shrugged, and the two of them went their separate ways to fetch the required items.

The party was all set up and decorated, with invitations handed out. Sugarcube Corner was dressed up with soft blue and soft pink streamers on the wall, along with apple-shaped balloons with smiley-faces drawn on them. Pinkie would have preferred to the pink streamers to be a louder shade of pink, but Rarity shut her down.

The party was supposed to be low-key, so only Twilight's group of friends, some family members, plus a few friends and plus-ones were invited.

“I'm just saying, a brighter pink would have brightened the place up a lot more!” Pinkie said.

“Hush, Pinkie Pie. What's done is done.” Rarity said. “Of course, you'd like to replace and change all the streamers in the middle of the party, I won't stop you.”

Pinkie Pie raised her hoof, but she deflated as she realized how rude it would be to change decorations right as the party was getting going.

“How are the drinks, Rainbow Dash?' Pinkie Pie asked.

“Perfect.” Dash said, stirring the punch with a ladle.

“And … non-alcoholic, like I said?” Pinkie asked.

“Sure. Maybe. Aw, come on, Pinkie Pie, I'm just messing with you. Don't look at me like that.”

Pinkie waved a hoof at Dash to show she was forgiven. She looked around the room and saw Applejack, standing alone by the counter with a glass of punch in hoof, and unnoticed by Pinkie, a safe distance away from Twilight while still being able to look at her.

Pinkie Pie walked up to Applejack. “Hey, Applejack!”

“Hey, Pinkie Pie.” Applejack said. She gave a bored look around the room and sipped her punch. “Nice party ya got here. Even I still don't know quite understand what it's for ...”

“It's for you, silly!”

“For me? What's the occasion?”

“Well, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and I all saw you walking away from Twilight's house earlier.” Pinkie Pie said. “You looked so upset and we just couldn't stand it, so we threw this party to cheer you up! See, that's why we have the smiling apple balloons, see?” Pinkie Pie grabbed one balloon and held it up for Applejack to see. She let the balloon go. “Now, why don't you tell Auntie Pinkie what's on your mind? What's got you so upset, huh? Huh?”

Applejack closed her eyes and looked away. She placed her cup of punch on the counter. “It's nothing, Pinkie Pie. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Oh, come on, Applejack! You're surrounded by friends. Whatever it is, we won't judge you. Just let go!"

“I said I don't want to talk about it!” Applejack snapped.

Pinkie Pie was stunned by Applejack's outburst. It was unusual for Applejack to raise her voice. She was naturally loud, sure, but this was something else.

“I'm sorry.” Applejack said after a moment.

Rarity came to Pinkie Pie's aid, grabbing Pinkie by the leg. “Pinkie Pie, darling, I rather get the feeling she doesn't want talk about it right now. Why don't we go somewhere else?”

“Okay.”

Rarity dragged Pinkie Pie away, giving Applejack a wink.

Rarity took Pinkie Pie to the table where Rarity had left her own cup. They sat down, and Rarity took a sip, holding her cup to the light and gazing at her reflection in the pink liquid.

“So, Rarity, what's going on with you?” Pinkie Pie asked cheerily.

Rarity stared at her reflection. In the relative quiet of Pinkie's little intimate get-together, Rarity had time alone with her thoughts. She thought about her actions over the last few days and had reached a sobering conclusion about herself.

“I'm an enabler.” Rarity said. “Excuse me, darling.” Rarity put the cup down and walked away from the table, needing a minute to process this.

This was enough to make Pinkie's smile falter and shrink, but not enough to make it go away entirely. Pinkie decided she wanted to go talk to somepony else, maybe Fluttershy. Surely Fluttershy wouldn't have any angry outburst or dark realizations to share.

Applejack, meanwhile, looked around the room. For the most part, she was bored, not caring to talk to anypony, until she noticed something she dreaded.

Big Macintosh was walking up to Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle stopped and looked up at him, recognizing he wanted to talk to her.

Big Macintosh opened his mouth to speak, but somepony talked over him.

“Twilight, darling? Would you come over here, please?”

“I'll be right there, Rarity.” Twilight said. “Just let me talk to Big Macintosh.”

“I'd really prefer if you'd come over now. It's time-sensitive!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Big Macintosh. I better go so what she's up to. You know how Rarity can be. Maybe another time.”

Big Macintosh nodded and Twilight walked over to Rarity.

Rarity waved at Applejack, letting her know she was safe.

That's two times Rarity's saved my hide in one night. Next thing you know, I'm gonna be doing chores for her. Applejack thought.

“What is it, Rarity?” Twilight asked. “What's so time-sensitive that you wanted me to see?”

“It's the decorations, darling.” Rarity pointed to them. “I needed to get your opinion on them before the party was over. Do you think they look too bright? Or dull? Or drab?”

Twilight hung her head. “That's what you wanted to talk me about? This is what so important it couldn't wait until I got done talking to Big Mac? The decorations?”

“Don't look at me like that, darling.” Rarity said. “This could decide the future of how Pinkie's parties are decorated! Why, if this takes off, I could open another business venue in home décor! Rarity's Decorations. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?”

“They look fine, Rarity.”

While Rarity continued to distract and stall Twilight, their conversation fading into background chatter, Applejack made her way over to Big Macintosh, who was plenty displeased.

“Y'all don't think I don't know what's going on here?” Big Macintosh asked. “Rarity calls Twilight over when I just happen to be trying talk to Twilight and tell how you feel? That's not a coincidence, is it?”

Applejack sighed. “No. Look, Big Macintosh, I know you're upset, and I know you want me to deal with this, but please. Don't tell Twilight. Not just yet.”

“Hmph! And if I don't, who will? You?”

“Yes! In fact, I'm making good progress on that.”

“Really?” Big Macintosh asked.

“Yes, really. Look, I know you're skeptical, and y'all have every right to be. But earlier today, we were talking, and she agreed she would be there waiting for me when I was ready to tell her.”

“And when will that be?” Big Macintosh asked.

“I … I don't know. I'm working on that. Please, Big Macintosh. Don't tell her. Not yet. I just – I just need a little more time.”

Big Macintosh looked none too happy about this, but he acquiesced to her request. “I'll wait as long as I can, A.J. But I ain't shore how long I can wait, understand?”

“Understood.” Applejack smiled. “Thanks, big brother.”

“Hmph.” Big Macintosh huffed and walked away.

Applejack turned back around. Rarity was waving to Twilight, who was eager to get away from Rarity after a long conversation about house decorating. Rarity, seeing Big Macintosh had gone, approached Applejack.

“How did it go?” Rarity asked. “With your brother, I mean.”

“It went okay.” Applejack said. “He's just worried about me, that's all, and he wants to do what he thinks is best for me.”

“But what he thinks is best for you and what you think is best for you are two totally different things.” Rarity said. “Am I right?”

“Yeah. That's about the sum of it.” Applejack brought her hat over her chest, the way she always did when her emotions were heavy.

Rarity and Applejack were soon joined by Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. But before any of those three could get a conversation going, they were interrupted by Spike.

“Hey girls.” Spike asked, holding Celestia's letter between his hands. “I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

“Shoot.” Applejack said.

“What do any of you know about Celestia's schedule?”

“Uh, not much.” Applejack said.

“I imagine it's something like 'raise the sun in the morning, do royal business, lower the sun at night.'” Rainbow dash said.

“Perhaps enjoying some of the finer aspects of being a princess, like foreign, imported cuisine or a warm, bubbly bath with waters carried in from volcanic hot springs.” Rarity said.

“Maybe she makes time every day to get pet the creatures in the royal garden.” Fluttershy said dreamily. “Or at least once a week.”

“Oh! Oh! Or maybe she goes off an adventures to a magical land made of chocolate and candy to fight the evil Lord Sourpuss while leaving a robot duplicate of herself to deal with all the boring royal stuff.” Pinkie Pie earned herself some odd looks. “What? It could happen.”

“Why do you ask, Spike?” Rarity said.

“She's really busy, you know, being a Princess.” Spike said. “So she doesn't have a whole lot of time for me. I was hoping I could fix that. You know, find something she didn't have to do that maybe I could do for her, so we could spend a little time together at the end of the day and get to know each other better.”

Rarity chuckled. “Well, I admire your romantic ideals, but I'm afraid I just don't think that's possible. Not with the Princess.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said. “She probably has lots of royal stuff that only a Princess knows how to do, or maybe she's the only even allowed to do it by some foreign dignitary or something.”

“A healthy relationship is based on a fair amount of give and take.” Fluttershy said. “I think it's adorable you want to do Celestia's work for her, but you can't just take away her work so she has more time for you. You have to give to her and meet her halfway if you want this to work, and that means being patient with her until she can find a day off to spend time with you.”

“Trust me.” Rarity said. “Fluttershy's right. Take it from somepony who found about that delicate balance the hard way.” Rarity looked to the floor, memories of Sweetie Belle on her mind.

“Yeah. She's the Princess, Spike. It's not like she can shirk off her responsibilities at the drop of a hat every time y'all want to see her.” Applejack said.

Spike yelled in frustration and threw his quill into the ground. “You know what? Forget it. You're all just like Twilight. I'll go get my relationship advice from someone else!” Spike stormed out of the building.

Rainbow Dash an eyebrow. “What's with him?”

“Oh, it's nothing. He's just upset because we told him the truth instead of what he wanted to hear.” Fluttershy said. “But he'll come around. He has to, if he wants this relationship with Celestia to last.”

There was a hum and a flash of bright light. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were scooped up into a hug by a lion paw and eagle talon.

“Why, hello, my little ponies!” Discord said. “I heard there was a party happening, and well, thought I'd stop by.”

“Discord.” Applejack struggled to get free of his grip. “I don't remember Pinkie Pie saying she would invite y'all.”

Discord was displeased with her comment enough to drop the five of them to the floor. “Well, yes. Obviously, I figured it must have gotten lost in the mail. It's so hard to give good directions to my house.” Discord disappeared and reappeared in another white flash, appearing by Fluttershy with his serpentine body curled up. “So, tell me. What's the news? What's been going on lately? What's hip and happening, hmm?”

“Spike is struggling with dating Princess Celestia.” Fluttershy said.

The rest of the girls grimaced.

“Ooh … not sure I'd have told him that, Fluttershy.” Applejack said.

“I trust him.” Fluttershy said. “Besides, he knows he'll get in trouble if he misbehaves."

Discord's smug, arrogant grin faded, replaced by an angry frown. He uncurled himself, straightened up, and glared out the door. “Oh, is he?”

“Mm-hmm.” Fluttershy nodded. “It's quite adorable, really.”

“I gotta say, though.” Rainbow Dash said. “Rarity seem to be pretty chill with it, more than the rest of us. What's your secret, Rarity?”

“Oh, you know. I've seen it before.” Rarity said.

Discord's ears twitched. “Really? You have?”

“You've seen a dragon and a Princess date before?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, no, darling. I meant I've seen this set-up before. Young, eager male seeks attractive, mature woman. Elderly woman seeks youthful boy to make her feel young again. It's a story I've seen more than a few times.”

“I'm not so sure Celestia would be dating Spike just to make herself feel young again.” Applejack said.

“Yeah. Wouldn't she have, like, a fountain of youth or something for that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“What do you think, Discord?” Fluttershy asked.

“What do I think?” Discord said. “Well, I think it's a very lovely party, Pinkie Pie, but I really must be going. Perhaps I'll even talk to Spike, give him a few tips on dating … Celestia.” The name left his lips like a cloud of poisonous gas.

“You do mean actual tips, don't you?” Fluttershy asked. “You're not going to hurt him, are you?”

“Oh, I would do nothing of the sort!” Discord said. “No, no, I'm just going to give him a finger in the right direction.” Discord popped an index finger off his wrist, and it turned into a traffic sign with an arrow on it. “Do enjoy your party, dears.”

Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared.

“Well, that was weird.” Rainbow Dash said. “Even for Discord, I mean.”

“Oh, I do hope he doesn't hurt Spike.” Fluttershy said. “I would feel awful if that happened. Not only would Spike be hurt, but I'd have to punish him! Maybe I shouldn't have told him about Celestia.”

Rarity put a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. “I'm sure it'll be all right. In fact, I have half a mind I know what Discord's thinking ...”

“Oh yeah? How do you know?” Dash asked.

“Lady's intuition, dear.” Rarity said. “A lady can tell when certain things are going through a boy's head, and I bet I know what's going through Discord's.”

“Really? What?”

“He's jealous.”

“Jealous.” Rainbow Dash nodded, satisfied with the answer. “Yeah, okay … wait. He's Discord. What could he possibly be jealous about?” Rainbow Dash turned to ask Rarity, but Rarity and Applejack had already walked away, leaving Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy to figure it out for themselves.

Author's Note

As I was going over this chapter, it's occurred to me that I seem to be really having a problem with beige prose as of late.

I kinda feel like Fluttershy's speech comparing Spike's situation to the "Give and Take" dilemma might could have been better phrased, but I couldn't really figure a way to improve it.

And yes, Discord is the drake Celestia was alluding to in Chapter 2. I had originally meant for this to be more of a surprise plot twist, but given the way Discord appears here and what he says, I think it's pretty obvious. I wrote it so that Rarity gets it but the others don't so I can still kind of treat like a surprise, at least for the characters.