Star Friends

by A_guy_from_Earth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Science Fiction, Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 18183

A group of aliens visit the world of friendship and magic.

In the Universe of friendship and magic aliens are also friendly, altruistic and very curious. This is the story about what can happen if Derpy Hooves becomes the contactee.

Published 2014-06-08 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-08 15:00:01 UTC

Star Friends

It was ordinary late evening in Ponyville. Citizens were having rest after workday: dined with families, walked on streets and parks, read books or newspapers, were at parties or just spent their free time in cozy chairs near fireplaces. The youngest ones were already sleeping. Some tired after long working day ponies hurried home. Everything seemed to be what it should be, but…

Suddenly a huge shining column lit up the outskirts of Everfree forest. Sheaf of light seemed to come from the depth of space, but it lasted only for few seconds. The column disappeared as unexpectedly as it had appeared. No one seemed to notice this.

Such phenomena aren’t rare things in Everfree forest – this place got reputation of anomalous zone long time ago – but this event was special. Dispersing light showed three strange creatures. They weren’t look like other living beings on the planet: first one looked like huge lizard, but it was bipedal and was covered with thick long hair, it was at least 11-12 feet high and had small membranes between fingers and toes, second one was almost three times lower and looked like something average between pony and triceratops, it was four-legged and had three horns – two on forehead and one, which was smaller, on nose – but hadn’t a neck frill, also it had two small fingers at every paw, and the third one looked like giant insect – it had pair of reticulated wings, which were folded for all the time, a quite hard shell, its third pair of limbs was transformed into three-fingered arms, and its head was almost like head of the first creature – except that it wasn’t covered with hair – it also was not so high as first creature: 5 feet approximately. But the strangest thing was that these creatures were transparent – only their silhouettes were noticeable.

“Telram’hie, shte-graidu! S’ktali numae! Kry nhea!” [Congratulations, my friends The devices worked! We are there!] – the biggest creature exclaimed.
“Tah-iviuru gartea-taf’bi anf oltu… [Four thousand light years from home…] – the horned creature said , - Mal’taizhtu!” [Incredible!]
“Ke ktal’ra turyi-h’tleti sdarifge…” [I expected a bit different reception…] – the insect-looking creature sighed.
“Kte ktal’ra truip’get, Skre-tu? [You expected a delegation, Skre-tu?] – the biggest creature needled, - Cidit’ga, kry nge-sizeli derg’taide!” [Remember, we don’t need witnesses!]
“Halt’keri, ke ghat ktal’ta, fty varete, dfiro ke h’ktavi, cnet’pai jurumsu.” [Halt’keri, I just expected that planet, which I discovered, will be friendlier.] – Skre-tu answered.
“Ri ke-b mu nhentu! Je ladufari k’pa shte-hterebi!” [And I like this place! It looks just like my home!] – Halt’keri said.
“Kte gi fetres-iki outy sheku-varete, Halt’keri, u gt’a fte-risdu!” [You are the greatest mind of our planet, Halt’keri, and you are living at swamp!] – Skre-tu murmured.
“Vibetruf’tu mu kalu-aki gheit shabi gelesti b’na-eket jurui!” [At least it’s better than your windswept columns!] – Halt’keri spelled in raised voice.
“Keh’na kti btu! [Shut up you two!] – the horned creature shouted, - Ri ge btu fetres-iki getlas a-Nefie! Kry nba detrifi as-kelba!” [So-called two best scientists of Nefie! We need to focus on the task!]
“P’ti, Alvere. Skre-tu, kry nba sesetgu fru-nadbi!” [I agree, Alvere. Skre-tu, we need to listen to the lady!] – Halt’keri spelled.
“Ke gni.” [Me too] – Skre-tu agreed.
“Get faby, nadzhevi!” [And that’s nice, boys!] – Alvere said.
“Kadiv kitu, Alvere, ha ke zadzhi Halt’keri na ninute-feu taf’bi! Kry nge-vci sevtara!” [Pardon us, Alvere, but I know Halt’keri for eighty years! We can’t do in other way!] – Skre-tu noticed.
“P’ti, tshi potrev’geu graide!” [Yes, as sworn friends we can’t!] – Halt’keri added.

Alvere sighed.

“Skit’ge, kry tokkiv ste had’fge, g’si ma zibel bibuva kelba!” [Well, we cleaned all the matters, so now we can start to do the task!] – Halt’keri said.
“Ke viru larety g’nami! Hibi!” [I feel a sapient creature! And it’s near!] – Skre-tu suddenly shouted.
“Vi?” [Already?] – Halt’keri surprised.
“Madae!” [Hide!] – Alvere screamed.

Three aliens hided, and soon they saw the one who caused the alarm: a lonely pegasus at low-level flight over the forest road returned to Ponyville. It was Derpy – she hurried home after last delivery from Dodge City.

“Ski, kry ktal’ra fty mheo larety g’nami s’zi-nmo. Ri d’fo kry h’ktavi shtue, kry far’bbic shtue – virribgu “rzas’pte zhim”. G’si shtii g’nami ho sheku-ddarv – varete kry far’bbic hatt’rafe. Ri, s’daffi, g’si ke s’zi d’foga fty kte, Skre-tu, zhafio meti-geb-stolu!” [Well, we expected that sapient creatures may live here. So, if we have found them, we will explore them – “plan eight” will be executed. Now these creatures will be our aim – we’ll explore the planet in passing. And, by the way, now I can say that you, Skre-tu, found a Brother in Mind!] – Halt’keri grinned, having seen the pegasus.
“Ke-i d’foga, fty stibe…” [I would tell that I found a Sister…] – Skre-tu answered.
“Di fhe? Vellerie…” [Really? Interesting…] – Halt’keri spelled.
“Fty kry bea zi be?” [What shall we do with her?] – Alvere wondered.
“Be ez-bea zabizhu teterai t’i shati mkit’rity. Kry s’zi sur bes fhe drat’ba pkie!” [She may become perfect intermediary for our researches. We can use her as temporary host!] – Halt’keri said.
“Ke viru fty be u zba-outis naz. Shte-viriedusan’be s’gill burtyo! Miu be der’fkia. Coli-n’ma beiz “ngebl’dusi” jes vortu mazfi kalava! She-i-vri daha! Mui be dif sezs’vib favve bud nikk’lai. Ge-nhi desz aliffu bei. Ni, tep’ka mmietzu a-mu, kry s’zi miotunza ci-be.” [I feel that she is very smart being. My telepathic feeling even quivered! But she is lazy a bit. Because of this her “hard drive” has a lot of free space! It will be enough for all three of us! But she also is a real magnet for troubles. Others avoid her because of that fact. So, not paying attention to this, we can install ourselves into her.] – Skre-tu reported.
“Kty joitr’veo miotunza det-be? Mu sarri r’tib? Mu-o vtau?” [You offer to install ourselves into her? Is it the only way? Is it right?] – Alvere asked, being worried.
“Mu-t’fa “rzas’pte zhim”: shte miotunza det-shka (gitu, kry zhafie) u far’bbic afa – varete, opite mue-g’nami u dfi – g’to-bie. Ho, a-g’te, kry te lur fe daz-hart’ko mil’ste, tshi krio k’bahhu vaz shta. A-v’di, mu-o klar’ha, u te ke derrighi mu. Mu za’Eghe. U he-r’tibna, kry nge-azi okku ve ihe desazzi gtuni. Ni, Alvere, hiafe ed-det’criti!” [That’s the “plan eight”: install ourselves into fisrt local inhabitant what we’ll meet and explore everything – planet, society of these creatures – in such way. Because, at first, we have absolutely no idea how they will react on us. At second, it’s the order, and I was not the author of it. That was the Council. And, furthermore, we will be in body of other creature not for the fist time. So, Alvere, cast the spell!] – Halt’keri said slowly.

Alvere silently nodded and concentrated. Soon a small ball of bright light appeared between her horns, and three aliens disappeared in flash. At the same moment Derpy fell down because of sharp headache.

She waked relatively soon – only ten or twelve minutes have passed – and rushed home. Our alien guests hid for a while.

Soon she was at home.

“Mommy, where have you been so long?” – Dinky exclaimed when Derpy opened the door and rushed to met her.
“Excuse me, my dear. – Derpy answered, - It was the last delivery – I had to go to Dodge City… And how were you? How was your school Day?”
“Nah, nothing special. Math, Equestrian, history… But we weren’t given any homework for tomorrow!”
“You were lucky!”
“Just for one day…”
“It’s quiet late already. – Derpy said after looking for hours, - did you dine, dear?”
“Yup! – Dinky answered cheerfully, - After school I invited some friends, we had some snacks to eat.”
“Good.”
But I must say that… [Dinky swallowed a small lump in throat] during one game we occasionally broke a vase –the one which stood on cupboard in the kitchen…”
“Don’t worry and blame yourself. – Derpy spelled, - Anything can happen. We will buy new one some day!”

Dinky smiled, and Derpy smiled in reply. Then they hugged each other.

“Well, it’s ten o’clock already. Time to go to bed!” – Derpy said.
“But mom!” – Dinky protested.
“Both of us need to get up early. And, for avoiding the discontent, I’ll go to sleep together with you. I got tired today…”
“If so, than I agree!” – young pony exclaimed.

And ponies leisurely went to do their evening hygiene and then for sleep.

But this night Derpy didn’t have a good sleep – three aliens decided to learn language and customs of inhabitants of new planet, and they did it using the information from memories of their new host. But that wasn’t all! Nefians were scientists, and for exploring the planet and its civilization they needed to look more – they needed tools for monitoring and observing. And, being in body of other creature, sense organs were the only ones. For providing access to them Alvere casted one more powerful spell, and minds of nefieans united with mind of pony. Then, for protection of their mission, nefieans did so that host won’t be able to tell or even hint that she shared her brain with three other guys. After this creation of mind system was finished.

For Derpy all that wasn’t in pleasure. Because of alien’s manipulations in the morning she had even more rumpled look than in the evening.

Dinky got very surprised when she saw her mother with tousled mane and bags under the eyes.

“Are you okay, mommy?” – she worryed.
“I just had a bad dream, dear. – Derpy answered, - Instead of worrying let’s have a good breakfast!”

Derpy went to the kitchen and soon returned with plate of cereal with vegetables, a cup of tea, and, of course, muffin for daughter. Then she brought similar set of dishes for herself. For some reason Derpy became very generous today and made really big portions. Because of this Dinky, as she tried, couldn’t eat all the food.

Soon breakfast was over, and time for going to school (and work) came. Derpy, as she was already prepared, waited for a while for Dinky – she had to take her schoolbag – and when it was done, both ponies went outside.

“Mom, will you take me to school?” – Dinky asked.
“I will, but today you can take only land transport.” – Derpy smiled and bended.

Dinky quickly climbed, and Derpy took her daughter to school.

At the gate to schoolyard ponies said goodbye to each other, then Dinky hurried to classroom, and Derpy rushed to post office.

She came to work in seconds to deadline.

“Just in time!” – postmaster exclaimed, having seen Derpy in doors of office.
“Excuse me, sir, I had to take my daughter to school, and I’m still a bit tired after yesterday.” – she answered.
“I understand… Well, next time try to be late no more than for an hour!”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Now let’s start to work! Today you have to deliver a number of small parcels – twelve, or so, I don’t remember exactly. So, please!”

Derpy nodded and went to storage to take the parcels. Store manager gave her all the packages and started to list addresses. At the same time loaders had been working – they distributed mailbags and other packs. Some of them were big and heavy. Because of this all workers were tensed and focused and handled with all things very and very gently. But trouble did happen: one loader occasionally stumbled and dropped two parcels. And a lot of glassware fell down from them…

Halt’keri had incredible speed of reaction for such big creature – he quietly often worked with very expensive devices, and didn’t want to pay for broken things, so he just couldn’t allow any thing to crush. He instantly took the initiative and control over Derpy’s body… Other ponies just saw how usually inaccurate pony with lightning speed rushed to falling glassware and caught all things with her hooves and wings. Nothing was broken and even damaged!

When loaders and distributor were standing with opened mouths, Derpy accurately put all caught things on the floor and shook off.

“How?” – said some ponies in trembling voice.
“What the hay have just happened?” – exclaimed other part.
“A-a-are you all right?” – manager asked.
“P’ti.” – Derpy answered.
“What?”

Halt’keri understood that he almost got addicted, so quickly returned the body to owner.

“I mean yes, I’m all right!” – pony said.
“Well, THIS was, to say the least, unexpectedly… from you.”
“It seems that I drunk too much coffee for breakfast…”
“If you will drink too much coffee next time, try to avoid do such tricks… Okay?”
“Yes, sir!” – Derpy answered vigorously, took her mailbag and went outside to start the delivering.

The craziest day in Ponyville history had stared…

Carousel Boutique was pointed as first number in the list. So Derpy at low-level slow flight rushed there.

She arrived in a couple of minutes and knocked at door. The owner of the Boutique, Rarity, came out soon.

“Hello, here’s your package!” – Derpy said and took from the bag weighty and a bit dusty parcel.
“Thanks! But that’s not for me, that’s for Sweetie Belle! She has been waiting for it for a long time!”
“Well then allow me to take an interest what is it?”
“It’s one rare book about astronomy. My sister was given a task to make a report about stars on natural study lessons, but there was not so much information about this in textbooks. This folio appeared to be only valuable source. I was able to order it only with great Twilight’s help! – Rarity said and turned back, - Sweetie, dear! Come here! Your book has arrived!”

In one of the far corners of the room a big pile of papers on small table started to move, and soon young pony, coughing a little, appeared from it.

“At last I will be able to finish it! – Sweetie Belle spelled and, having thanked Derpy, took the book.
“She was a bit unwell today, so she didn’t go to school.” – Rarity said , having seen surprised face of postpony.
“I see.”

Meanwhile Sweetie Belle opened the parcel and started to read the book, which appeared to be full of different and difficult scientific terms. It’s necessary to tell that not every student of famous Trottingham University is able to read and understand such thing. So, compassionate Skre-tu, seeing all attempts of young pony to, at leats, get an idea, decided to help. He took control over Derpy’s body and began to act.

“Sweetie Belle, - Skre-tu said through pegasus’s mouth, - If you have difficulties, I can help you.”
“Pardon me, but… how?” – Rarity and Sweetie Belle wondered sincerely.
“Once I helped my daughter with making her report for similar theme, and I remember some things from books what I have read.”
“You really will help me?” – young pony asked.
“Well, I won’t be able to write this report for you, but I can explain you some matters, which will help you to understand the text in that book. – Skre-tu, the First Astronomer of Nefie, said and started to explain, - Well, the stars. There is incredible quantity of them on the sky. They are countless – you won’t be able to find exact amount of them even in the nearest space. On a clear night you can see this yourself. But from the ground stars seem to be only while lights of different sizes. In reality there are stars of various kinds: small and giant, white and colored, single and binaries, near and far… Speaking about the distances between them, it’s necessary to say that they are incredible, humongous: they are so big that even the light, the fastest thing in the Universe, travel from start to star for years. These huge distances determine brightness of the stars on the sky. But they are not only reason – the brightness is also determining by sizes of stars. Usually they are giant celestial bodies, which have sizes of thousands and millions of planets. For example, the Sun is more than a million times bigger than our planet. But stars can vary greatly in their sizes: some of them even smaller than Earth, and some of them in thousand times bigger that even the Sun. Also stars vary in colours: there are blue, white, yellow, orange and red ones. Atmosphere distorts its light, so from the ground they are seen like small bright white points. But you can see the shades of stars through telescope – and the bigger star is, the more noticeable will be its colour. It’s necessary to say that usually blue stars are the biggest and hottest (yes, stars also vary in their temperature, and colour of the star always depends on it), and red ones usually are the smallest and coldest – the greatest part of all celestial bodies follow this rule. But there are some exceptions, and they usually spread among the biggest stars – you can read it in the book. The Sun, for example, is the yellow star. But stars aren’t stationary objects – they are changing, evolving. And because of these changes stars break the colour-size-temperature rule and, as result, we have giant red stars and white and even blue stars-dwarfs. But the most interesting thing is that the stars almost never change their masses – whimsies of the evolution, as it’s possible to say so. Also it’s necessary to say that stars usually are not single – a lot of them have a companion, and some ones have even more neighbors. They usually spin around each other, but it could be possible only if these stars differ greatly in their sizes. If the stars are equal or almost equal, they… how to say it better… spin around an axis which lies somewhere between them. The scheme looks just about like this…”

And then Skre-tu-Derpy took a pencil and drew on piece of paper a figure, which consisted from a set of ellipses, what were mover clockwise relative each other, and fat point of axis (Nefie has two suns (and three moons – sic, for some information), so Skre-tu knew this scheme like a book).

“Well, that will be enough for the first time! Do you have any questions?” – pegasus said.

Sweetie Belle and Rarity were struck to the core. Derpy Hooves, ordinary postpony, gave them a lecture! Short, but which explains all main and necessary matters. The owner of boutique and her sister after this weren’t able to say even a word.

“Thank you…” - Sweetie Belle murmures, when she got ability to talk.
“Where did you learn all this?” – Rarity exclaimed.
“I just got interested and read some more.” – Derpy answered.
“I don’t know how to thank you!” – young pony said.
“That’s just a little explanation. If you want to understand the matter better, take “Explanatory dictionary for schoolfillies”. A couple of these books are in Ponyville library.”
“Thanks anyway!” – exclaimed Sweetie Belle and Rarity (just because she was happy for her sister) and on pleasures hugged Derpy.
“I’m very grateful, girls, but, please, don’t! I must deliver ten more… packages and I… need to breathe!”

After this unicorns let the pegasus and apologized. Derpy said goodbye to them and after the ritual of signing of the papers and small payment for book went away. Rarity and Sweetie Belle remained happy, but also still very surprised.

Postpony Derpy (at this time it really was her – Skre-tu returned body to the owner when he finished with helping) meanwhile moved to the next address – Sweet Apple Acres. Few (hundred) flaps and she was at the place. Knock at a door, some waiting, and in a minute one of the farm inhabitants appeared on doorsteps. It was Big Mac. Derpy got surprised a bit, as usually Applejack met her – Big Mac at the same time usually was working in garden or fields, but decided to not attach any special meaning to this.

“Greetings, here’s your package!” – Derpy asked and gave the parcel with documents to Big Mac.
“Thanks.” – he spelled, signed the list and returned it to postpony.
“Pardon me, but… where is Applejack? Usually she met me at times of delivering…” – pegasus asked accurately.

Big Mac, having heard this, sighed and stepped aside. And Derpy saw Applejack. She was lying on sofa at corner of the room and looked very, very bad – maybe even worse than at the time when she decided to harvest all the garden herself: she was completely exhausted and was able to move only with great efforts. Near her troublous Granny Smith was sitting.

“What happened to her?” – Derpy worried.
“Apple Bloom got intoxicated yesterday, an’ Applejack watched and nursed her for all night. – answered Big Mac, - Thanks for her now Apple Bloom feel much better, she is almost cured, but Applejack… Ah don’t remember her so tired… We planned not much work for today, but Ah won’t be able to do all it without her help… Ah just don’t know what to do!”

He was ready to fall into despair. Derpy felt for all Apple family, but she wasn’t able to do anything for Applejack.

But one of her “guests” was able.

Alvere, seeing how bad is Applejack and how close to despair are her brother and granny, decided to help. She took control and began.

“Excuse me, - Alvere-Derpy said, - but I may help Applejack.”
“How? Even with help of doctors she will able to recover in day at least!” – Big Mac objected.
“Well, there is one method. I learned it at Mountain Meadow village. One day I had to deliver a package there, and when I arrived, I was dog tired. But old earth pony, to whom I delivered the parcel, helped me. He just spelled one long word, and strength returned to me. I don’t know how such thing can happen, but old pony’s method works. He taught me how to do this thing. And I think that it will work now.”
“Well, if ya think so…” – Big Mac said and let Derpy to come in.

Pegasus thanked him and went to Applejack. She stood near the sofa and said:

“Now we must let Applejack to fall asleep. Method works only when the patient is sleeping.”

Big Mac nodded, run away and soon returned with plaid. Granny Smith covered Applejack and started to sing quietly. In minute Applejack closed her tired eyes and went to the realm of Morpheus.

Then Derpy leaned over Applejack and started to spell the magical word. It lasted for a relatively long time. All this time Big Mac and Granny smith heard only quiet murmur, which consisted mostly from voiceless consonants.

As you can guess, it was not the method of aged ponies of mountains, but aged ones of Nefie. The thing what Alvere-Derpy was doing at the moment among nefiean magicians is called “low-level (magicless) spell” – a sound code, in fact, which has great effect if it was used correctly.

Alvere had great experience in using of such codes. And the result wasn’t long in coming: when pegasus stopped the spelling, Applejack opened her eyes, shivered a little and then jumped from the sofa to the ceiling and landed on all four hooves. She changed instantly: from a mortally weary pony into a one who was ready to power all Equestria with own energy.

Big Mac and Granny Smith were dumbfounded.

“Wow! That was awesome! – Applejack exclaimed, - Ah don’ know what ya did, Derpy, but ya brought me to life! Thanks!”

And then she embraced the pegasus.

“You’re always welcome!” – Alvere-Derpy said chocking.
“Are ya alright?” – Big Mac accurately wondered, looking at his changed sister.
“I feel great! – Applejack answered, - Like on a million bits and ready for a billion bucks!”

Then she addressed to her brother:

“Ya said that we have some work to do?”
“Yes, but…” – Big Mac began to speak.
“So let’s do it! We’ll be even able to get time for Apple Bloom and today’s great meeting with mah friends!” – said Applejack, took her brother in hooves and rushed outside.

Alvere-Derpy and Granny Smith silently watched them leave.

“May I leave now?” – asked postpony when Applejack and Big Mac disappeared in the depth of the garden.

Elder of Apple family just slightly nodded. Derpy thanked her and went away.

She was on the way to the next address when she met rare guests in Equestria – siberians. Almost as high as Princess Luna and chunky at the same time, square-built and covered with long thick hair, which made them even bigger (and which was the very reason of their nickname “mammoths”), these titans made others feel uncomfortable when they were near. But these siberians felt uncomfortable themselves – they had big problem: no one from their company knew Equestrian well enough. All four members of the group stopped ponyvillers and with signs and some words tried to show what they wanted. It looked so that these guys wanted to buy something, but what exactly, no one was able to guess. Because of this usually severe and unemotional giants of Far-Eastern Europonia were very upset. It was a very atypical picture.

It seemed that no one will be able to help them. But Derpy’s “mind neighbors” decided to change the situation. Skre-tu read the thoughts of siberians to understand their language, and in a couple of minutes all four minds of pony’s brain knew Siberian.

Tourist from Far-Eastern Europonia groaned and sighed heavily after another unsuccessful attempt of explanation of their needs when a grey pegasus with blonde mane came to them and absolutely without any accent said:

“Dobryj dien’. Chiem ja vam mogu pomoch’?” [Good afternoon. How can I help you?]

“Mammoths” after this were so extremely surprised that were ready to extinct after animals because of which they got their nickname.

“Vy ponimajete po-nashemu?” [You understand our language?] – said quietly one siberian, who first regained the ability to talk after surprise.
“Da, vpolne.” [Yes, quite] – Derpy answered.
“Jasno…” [I see…] – siberian said.
“Tak v chiom vasha problema?” [So what is your problem?] – postpony asked.
“Ponimajete, my, kak eto skazat’, ischem tut u vas universal’ny magazin. Miesto, gdie mozhno bylo b kupit’ vsio neobhodimoje srazu. Samyj bol’shoj magazin v vashem gorodie, koroche.” [You see, we, as to tell it (better), are looking here for general store. The place where it would be possible to buy all necessary things in one time. The biggest shop in your town, in short.] – siberian said.
A, eto… Tak vam nado idti vdol’ etoj ulicy [Derpy pointed the direction], zatiem na shestom pierekriostke povierniote napravo. Sto mietrov – i vy na mieste! [Oh, this… In that case you should go along this street and then at sixth crossroad turn to the right. One hundred meters – and you are at the place!] – said Derpy.

Siberians, having heard the desirable at last, got so happy that not every little filly can be and, having passed to Equestrian, exclaimed:

“Thanks!”

And they embraced the pegasus – slightly by Siberian standards, but some of Derpy’s bones in spite of this crunched.

“Dazhe nie znajem kak vas blagodarit’!” [We don’t know how to thank you!] – siberians said.
“Pozhalujsta. Ja vsegda rada pomoch’!” [You are welcome. I am always glad to help!] – Derpy answered.
“Pozvol’tie pointeresovat’sia, otkuda vy tak horosho znajete nash jazyk?” [Allow me to ask, where did you learn our language so well?] – one tourist asked.
“Ponimajete, ja liubliu poslushat’ radio, v tom chisle radio drugih stran. A na Sibirskom radio mne ochen’ ponravilas’ pieredacha “Shou Shepieliavyh”. Slushaja, ja i vyuchila jazyk.” [You see, I like to listen radio, including channels of other countries. And on Siberian radio I like the broadcast “Shou Shepieliavyh” {“Show of lisping guys”}. During the listening I learned the language.] – Derpy answered.
“Jasno… My tozhe liubim etu pieredachu!” [We see… We also like this show!] – siberians said.
“Raz vasha probliema rieshena, to togda ja pojdu?” [Well, if your problem is solved now, than I can leave?] – postpony said.
“Da. I ieschio raz spasibo!” [Yes. And thanks again!] – siberians spelled.

Tourists from Far-Eastern Europe after this thanked Derpy for some more times and offered in appreciation and thanking to join them and spend some time at a picnic in woods. She with her guests would be agree and took a little break from work, but when Skre-tu learned from thoughts of siberians that “in program of thanking” drinking of alcohol beverages in incredible – for all other except siberians – quantities is included, they changed thier minds. Although Halt’keri and Skre-tu, to be honest, didn’t mind to drink a glass of wine with following increasing of dose till small barrel, but when they saw the stock of beverages of these tourists, they felt ill at ease. So Derpy from face of all minds of her brain refused very polite from such thanking, saying that she must continue her job and deliver other packages. Siberians understood her, thanked and hugged her again and only then went away. Derpy watched them leave, sighed and continued the delivering.

Some minutes of slow flight and she was at the place with the largest concentration of bird houses per acre in town – Fluttershy’s yard. Derpy landed, took the parcel from mailbag, approached the house and knocked at door. And she almost dropped the package when she heard rather loud male voice from inside:

“I’ll open it!”

Then the door opened and from the house Fluttershy’s guest appeared – Discord. Derpy with Alvere froze in surprise, Halt’keri and Skre-tu, who guessed what kind of creature was at the moment sanding before them, quietly thought: “Di kry u sdariffe gar’te mu-vel…” [And here we met spirit of this world…]

“Who is there?” – Fluttershy asked from inside.
“Mail delivering, dear. – Discord answered and addressed to Derpy, - Please, come in!”

Postpony silently nodded in gratitude and slowly entered the room.

“Please, forgive me that I didn’t come. – Fluttershy said, - There is one little problem here…”

And she with a gentle nod showed on stool at corner. There was her bunny, Angel. But at that moment it was hard to recognize him – he was from top to toe covered with burdock seeds. Because of this bunny looked just like if he was dressed in pressure suit.

“Please, wait me hear, Derpy. I will come as soon as I finish help Angel. – Fluttershy spelled, - And Discord, please, keep the company to Derpy.”
“I will.” – spirit answered.

Fluttershy nodded, turned and began to rip out the seeds from Angel’s fur, quietly singing a simple melody.

Discord grinned and gently addressed to Derpy:

“What would you like to do?”
“Well, I…” – postpony began to spell a bit confusedly, and at that moment Discord looked straightly in her eyes.

He decided to recall the past – hypnotize one pony just for fun when “supervisor” wasn’t watching. So Discord quickly changed his eyes for the necessary special ones and proceeded to the trick.

But he didn’t know that at that moment Derpy wasn’t alone. Discord with his hypnosis was able to influence only on host’s mind. And because of this a very interesting thing had happened. When he started to hypnotize postpony, nefieans remained untouched, and they, having seen what the spirit was up to, decided to teach him a good lesson. Aliens quickly freed pony from evil spell and struck back. But it happened in a bit unexpected form: after few seconds from the beginning of hypnosis pony’s eyes began to move randomly. Moves of one eye were absolutely unconnected with moves of other, and moves of both of them were so quick than even the strongest chameleon will fall ill and become exhausted in few seconds. And, as result, hypnotist and hypnotized swapped.

Discord was never so extremely surprised in his life. But he realized that he became the hypnotized one too late…

So Derpy did to Discord almost the same thing what he wanted to do to her. When Fluttlershy was cleaning Angel’s fur, Discord did some pushups on the ceiling, danced a jig, within a half-minute expressed in pantomime everything what earthlings think about existential essence of being, treated Derpy with Siberian cabbage soup and sang “’O Sole Mio” with Khoisan-Mongolian accent.

Fluttershy soon finished the helping to her bunny and turned. Derpy and Discord – already dehypnotized – were standing at the same places where they were. But the spirit was standing perfectly still and with all his soul wished to have being turned into statue again.

“Do you have a nice time?” – Fluttershy asked.
“Yes, quite.” – Derpy answered.

Discord just silently nodded.

“And here’s your package!” – postpony said, having got the parcel.
“Oh, my directory! – Fluttershy exclaimed, - I have been waiting for it!”
“What directory?” – Derpy wondered.
“It’s about veterinary. I just want to know about new medicines for animals!”
“Hm, I understand…”

Fluttershy and Derpy talked for some minutes. Discord all this time was motionless and with big sacredly-surprised eyes looked on postpony. In final Fluttershy signed the documents and paid for directory, Derpy said good-bye to her and went away.

She rushed to next address – the sweetest place in Ponyville, “The Sugarcube Corner”. She got there in ten (or so) minutes and repeated the ritual of coming. Very soon the door opened. And before postpony’s eyes appeared Pinkie, who at that moment was almost real Pie: her hair became white because of flour and powdered sugar, and for some weird reason there was a big peace of butter in her mane – add only some milk and eggs, and you’ll get finished dough. And she breathed heavily.

“Eh… M-mail delivery?” – surprised Derpy asked, spelling the words slowly.
“Good, *breath* I have not so much time, so *breath* give me the package, I’ll *breath* sign it and pay for.” – Pinkie Pie said.
“What had happened there if you look like that and hurrying so much?” – postpony wondered.

Pinkie Pie after a sigh (or breath?) answered:

“We have a real disaster *breath* here! Mr. and Mrs. Cake have very, very, very, very many orders. I help them *breath* as hard as I can, and we still hardly manage to do *breath* all of them! I don’t remember such intensive work for a long *breath* time! I just…”
“Let me ask what exactly is your problem?” – Derpy interrupted Pinkie, as she saw that the Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s helper already began to enjoy.
“Oh, that. We just can’t *breath* bake all cakes what we made!”
“And that’s all?”
“Yes, I think. We have flour, sugar, eggs, milk, butter – all *breath* ingredients for dough in great amounts, we have *breath* spice and everything nice, even few pounds of gold powdering, *breath* we somehow manage to make all the orders, but our oven *breath* isn’t big enough! We can’t place all the cakes there! *breath*”
“Well in that case let me help you!”
“You will *breath* build one more oven?”
“No, I have better idea! Tell Mr. and Mrs. Cake to make some free space on the floor, I’ll return soon!” – Derpy said and flew away.

Pinkie Pie just scratched her head, with this having smeared butter in her mane, but with owners of “The Sugarcube Corner” did what Derpy said. Mr. and Mrs. Cake at first got angry because they had to stop their work, but no one can resist Pinkie’s persuading. They had already finished their work when Derpy came back with small dark rattling cloud.

“Now put the trays with cakes on the floor!” – pegasus commanded.
“What you are up to?” – almost shocked Mr. and Mrs. Cake exclaimed.
“You’ll see!” – Derpy spelled and bucked the cloud.

The cloud rumbled, cracked and in final spit out some lightnings. Mighty charges hit the trays and… baked all the cakes to desired condition and crisp! Cakes and Pinkie Pie just froze.

“Bring other part!” – Derpy said loudly.

This scream brought all bakers to life.

“Wow! – Pinkie Pie exclaimed, - That’s was amazing!”
“Where did you learn this?” – extremely surprised Mr. and Mrs. Cake asked.
“When you have to prepare the dinner and you have only a minute, you think very quickly! – Derpy said, - And what are you waiting for? Prepare other ones!”

Cakes recovered again and, having made a sign which said “just a moment!” with Pinkie prepared the other part.

These postpony’s words could be regarded as the truth, but they weren’t. Although it was the best explanation, which “four-minded Derpy” made at that day.

Typical students of First Nefiean Technological University (FNTU, or KNGR in Common-Nefiean), especially at senior courses, have almost no time for hygiene, cleaning of rooms and cooking. So, for solving this problem, quirky students designed next: they found an electric generator (the one which on Earth would be called the Tesla Coil) and with it they fried and baked their food. This method usually took only seconds. Halt’keri and Skre-tu, who studied once in KNGR, remembered that very good. And now, when they saw baker’s problem, shared their thoughts with Derpy. She, in turn, quickly found a replacement for generator – a thundercloud. And it worked excellently!

Using this method, bakers with great Derpy’s help were able to make all the orders in a bit more than one hour – Mr. and Mrs. Cake with Pinkie Pie barely had time to do new cakes. When all sweets were baked and charge of the cloud was exhausted, rooms of “The Sugarcube Corner” were filled with batch almost till ceiling.

“I don’t remember so intensive and productive work!” – Mr. Cake said when everything was finished.
“Me neither, dear.” – Mrs. Cake added.
“I’m so tired that I’m ready to fall asleep right no…” – Pinkie Pie murmured and dozed off.
“Well, now we have to watch our kids, or else they’ll eat all our work!” – Mrs. Cake said with smile.
“Excuse me, but I won’t be able to make a new big storage for you.” – Derpy spelled, looking at the mountains of cakes, donuts and éclairs.
“You’ve helped us a lot with that new method, Derpy! We’ll manage the placing by ourselves.” – Mr. Cake answered.
“Well, in that case… Mail delivery?” – postpony said.
“Oh, sure.” – extremely tired bakers said, took the parcel, signed the form with blue cream and followed Pinkie Pie’s example.
“And I’ve complained my work!” – Derpy sighed, looking at worn out bakers.

Then she quietly left the house, only having made some admonition to Pumpkin Cake and Pond Cake to not eat all the batch when parents are having nap and closed the door.

Pegasus sighed a little again and moved to next place.

On the way to the next destination Derpy flew near the greatest building area of Ponyville, where “The first skyscraper of the town”, as the locals said – if such thing can be said about twelve-floored tower – was under construction. Usually all the workers at this building are were very busy, but now thee were turmoil and confusion – the building had to be opened in month, but forepony “successfully” fell ill and at the moment was in hospital. And two deputy foreponies were too young – they were just from colleges, and, having making attempt to unite the jobs of engineers and chiefs, failed in both fields. And now workers were an unorganized group, and unfinished building was hanged on a thread – bricks were put in very askew way, remains of fittings were everywhere, all area looked dreadfully.

Seeing all this, engineer Halt’keri and Skre-tu, who was from dynasy of builders, got disappointed and said:

“Shte-d ge hart’mau!” [Who builds so (awfully)!]

They decided to fix this and show to earthlings how to work in right way. So they took control over Derpy’s body again, made her stop and went to construction area. As all builders were on the ground and were arguing and cussing with each other, Derpy easily got in the building, put her mailbag in the safe place, took a toolbox and went to last floors of the building.

Amount of work appeared to be not such big as Skre-tu and Halt’keri thought, so they worked without hurrying. As pony’s body were under control of three minds, she worked with three instruments at the same time. Very strange picture, which lasted relatively long. But in spite of this nefieans even allowed themselves to sing a couple of folk motifs.

Meanwhile arguing between the builders continued. Deputy foreponies got tired, so they stopped to pay attention on worker’s words and began to look around. And one of vice-foreponies noticed that from one corner of the building bricks poured much more than usual. He raised the alarm, builders stopped to argue and rushed to eleventh floor, where was the source of flow.

They were at the place in half of a minute. And when they arrived and saw what was the reason… Two thirds of builders fainted immediately. Other workers froze with opened mouths. Meanwhile Derpy put the last brick at necessary place, sighed and said:

“Well, done!”

And, having asked builders for forgiveness for interruption, went away. She went downside, put the toolbox, took her mailbag and continued the delivering. When she was already near the gate, she met the forepony (who, knowing that his young deputies will commit follies at least, took the elephant dose of drugs and returned to work, so at that moment he looked not very good), who, having seen Derpy, got extremely surprised.

“Excuse me, - said Derpy-Halt’keri-Skre-tu, - I just was near and… fixed some defects what had appeared while you were away. But don’t worry! Everything is fine now!”
“Okay.” – forepony answered with stoned face.

Derpy (at that moment it was her for 100%) said goodbye and went away.

Builders silently saw her off, and very soon noticed their chief. Chief, who got angry – a bit – shouted at subordinates:

“What you staring at? Work!”
“Aye-aye!” – answered suddenly and dramatically emboldened workers and started to work so intensively and qualitatively, that even bees and ants became jealous.

Derpy meanwhile slowly moved to next address – Rainbow Dash’s house. She didn’t even reach the building, when owner of house appeared right before her.

“Do you have it?” – asked the pegasus, who now just couldn’t wait.
“Yes. – postpony answered and took bright package from her mailbag, - New book of “Daring Doo” series! Right from printing house! Still warm!”
“AAAWWW YEAAAH!” – Rainbow Dash exclaimed and took the book, - Thanks!”
“You’re welcome. Well, now sign the papers and pay for the special order.”

After these words all excitement of Rainbow Dash disappeared. She didn’t want to give back her new precious, but had absolutely no wish to pay. So Rainbow Dash began to explain away, and soon her excuses gradually turned into entreaties. All this stuff made Derpy tired and annoyed:

“Rainbow Dash, - postpony said, - it’s only twelve bits! Miserable money nowadays!”
“I know, but I haven’t even a coin!” – Rainbow Dash pretexted again.
“Well, in that case I must take the book away and keep it till you pay. It’s the rule!” – Derpy said.

Rainbow Dash got angry, but then, suddenly, she changed – a malicious smile appeared on her face. She firmly grabbed the book and flied away from Derpy.

“Well, in that case I make you the last offer. – said she, - Compete with me in flying. If you win, I’ll pay for book, if I win, I’ll take the book without any payment for it!”
“That’s unfair! You are stronger and faster than me!” – Derpy shouted.
“Well, it’s your choice! We can argue for a very long time!” – brash pegasus spelled with grin.
“Fine!”
“Well, I even can give you a head start!”
I don’t need any head start! – irritated Derpy shouted, - But I need some time to prepare…”
“Okay.”

Derpy got very, very angry because of this, but she preserved sobriety and clarity of thoughts. She had to create a plan how to win Rainbow Dash, but she hadn’t enough cunnings for this. So pony… asked her “mind guests” for help – she got used to them already. Aliens, which saw all the arguing, agreed to help.

So, working together, they created the next plan. At first Derpy took a bath with liquid rainbow and sea salt, then she had to take some solution of liquid rainbow, ice and dry clouds in her mouth and spat it out during the flight.

Liquid rainbow and sea salt baths is one of the most popular jokes in Cloudsdale. The thing is that such baths almost immediately make all kinds of fur and hair fluffy and, because of this – perfect accumulator of static electricity. Pegasuses, who flied though the clouds after liquid rainbow bath, were able to produce great lightnings right from their tails and manes. But this also made their look ridiculous.

So no wonder that Rainbow Dash, when she saw Derpy after all preparations, split her sides laughing.

“Bwahahahahaaaaa! You decided to win me with this? You think that I just won’t be able to fly laughing? Well, hee-hee, it’s good idea, but it won’t work! – Rainbow Dash said and, after one more look on Derpy, continued to laugh, - I’ve never thought that one time I will compete with flying pillow! Whahaha!”

Postpony just looked on her with angry-malicious squint.

Both ponies stood on the start line – edge of the cloud, on what Rainbow Dash’s house was standing – top of the nearest mountain was appointed as finish – together did the final countdown and started. Rainbow Dash broke away on first seconds of flight. Derpy remained behind: heightened fluffiness and very hot mix in mouth, which makes you cry, is not the best combination during any competition. In addition, Derpy flew through clouds, and this made her even slower. But she reached her aim very soon – fluffy hair got great electric charge, small lightning-kind sparks began to appear all over her body.

And now the time for liquid rainbow cocktail came. The mix what Derpy took has one specific feature – it’s combustible. So, when sparks appeared, she folded her wings, turned around, closed her eyes and spat out the solution. It got ignited and… After a second a small explosion came, and from the light and smoke sphere broke away grey fluffy meteorite – Derpy Hooves, the first rocket pony on Earth. The ignition of liquid rainbow solution gave her extreme acceleration, and she in a half of minute outstripped Rainbow Dash, having burnt some parts of her mane. Having seen the grey fluffy cannonball, flying back to front, Rainbow Dash just stopped and hardly managed to not fall down.

The charge soon disappeared, but it wasn’t important already – Derpy reached the peak, made lap of honor and flew to bring Rainbow Dash to life.

When it was done, postpony said:

“Well, we have a deal!”

At that moment universal sorrow was in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. She hung her head, sighed and said:

“Okay, follow me!”

She led Derpy back to her house, signed the documents and paid the order.

“Thank you! Address again!” – Derpy spelled and, having said goodbye, went away.

Rainbow Dash saw Derpy off till she disappeared in clouds, then sighed and said:

“Well, at least I have the book!”

And she went to house to read about new adventures of Daring Doo.

Derpy meanwhile took course on the farthest destination of her address list – Wonderbolt Academy.

Three hours of flying – and she was near the place. But from afar it was clearly seen that there was something wrong. Usually the most organized place in whole Equestria was at that moment more like a spontaneous market somewhere at Eastern Kingdoms: turmoil dominated everywhere, and nerve stress of students and teachers of Academy was felt very well even at great distance. When Derpy approached, she saw the reason of this: training device, which is known as “Ferris wheel”, was broken. There was a group of students and some other employees of Academy near it, all of them had surprised and at the same time sad look. Before them was Soarin’, who explained the matter. Little away was Spitfire, who was very irritated – ALL her hair stood on end. She feverishly thinked what to do.

Seeing all this, Derpy silently landed at some distance from the crowd and quietly approached to one teacher, who seemed to be worried less than others.

“Excuse me, - postpony said, - but what had happened here?”
“Ah, this thing got broken! It almost exploded! – teacher answered, - At the very moment when almost all groups must had trainings! But if that was the only problem… Because of this accident one pony was injured, he is in hospital now, but he was the only repairpony here who can fix it! Another repairpony will arrive only in several hours. Without this device all regime of Academy will be ruined for days!”

Derpy, having heard this, scratched her head and said:

“I may be able to do something…”
“You? – pegasus-teacher exclaimed, - But…What?”
“Well, once I fixed dispenser at post office where I work. It’s a device, similar to yours, except that wheel lies in horizontal plane. I think that I’ll be able to do something.”
“If you think so… Then please!”
“Thank you!”
“Step aside! – pegasus-teacher said to others, - Let the repairpony pass!”

The crowd immediately calmed and looked on Derpy.

“What repairpony? Let me look!” – came a voice of Spitfire from the crowd, and in a minute the owner of voice appeared herself.
“Greetings, ma’am!” – Derpy said.
“Are you kidding me? You? – Spitfire spelled, - What ordinary postpony will be able to do?”
“At Ponyville post office we had problem with similar device, but I fixed it.” – Derpy answered.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“You’re not kidding?”
“No, ma’am!”
“Well then…” – said Spitfire and with an expression which showed great lack of confidence let Derpy approach the broken construction.

Derpy nodded, came to device and started to examine it. Other pegasuses just silently watched her.

Postpony looked the construction through for a minute and then said:

“Well, now I know the problem!”

And she began the fixing.

At that moment it’s necessary to say that Halt’keri (who, by the way, took control over Derpy’s body again during the examination), being great engineer, who was able to fix almost everything, and being great humorist, always played tricks with ones who haven’t such knowledge and skills. These tricks consisted in some “solo performances”, which combined repair itself and shamanistic moves. As result guys, who saw these plays and who knew the secrets of fixing, split their sides laughing till breath loss, and on other spectators this action had effect of reverential horror and awe. And at the moment, being in body of other creature, Halt’keri behaved himself as he usually behaved in similar situations.

Because of this students, teachers and other employees of Academy watched the strangest action it their lives: Halt’keri-Derpy fixed the device, clattering wrenches, clanking nuts and bolts, rattling steel details and rustling transmission belts and joints, and at the same time howling and whining, sometimes dancing and knocking sheets of protective covering like tambourines. This madness lasted for half of an hour or so. Then Derpy stopped her work and said:

“Well, almost! I just need one more transmission belt…”

She started to look around, and, having noticed one young mare, who had very long and beautiful tail, approached her and asked in loud horrendous voice:

“Are you ready to sacrifice for the common good?”
“Y-y-yes.” – pegasus answered quietly.
“Okay then!” – Derpy exclaimed and… bit off a part of long beautiful tail of young pegasus (who after this fainted), quickly returned to device, took two electrodes and, using them, soldered the hairs and turned them into some kind of ring belt.

Then she placed the belt on necessary place, closed protective covering and with all power of her right hind leg hit the shell of device. The device grunted, rattled, gnashed a little and… activated! “Ferris wheel” started to spin around, even faster than before.

At that moment all spectators got absolutely dumbfounded.

“Job is done!” – Derpy exclaimed – now it was her for sure.
“H-h-how?” – Spitfire quietly spelled.
“Nah, nothing special. If you saw something similar before!”
“A…”
“If my work is finished, then let’s pass to the main! – Derpy said and took parcel and papers from mailbag, - Here’s your package!”

Spitfire silently signed the documents and took the mail. Derpy said goodbye and flew away. Teachers, students and other employees remained in a stupor.

They recovered from shock in an hour or so.

At that day trainings in Academy ended about midnight.

Postpony Derpy, in turn, moved to the city, where were the last addresses – Canterlot.

She was there in a couple of hours and quickly delivered four from five other packages. But the last one was particular – it was small delivering for the first persons of the state. So Derpy, having swallowed the lump in throat, moved to Canterlot Castle. She approached it on foot, and came to special entrance for deliveryponies. She knocked high and very firm door and stepped back a bit.

One minute had passed, and the door opened. A guard came from Castle yard and approached Derpy. Usually all guards of Canterlot are imperturbable and brutal, but this one wasn’t alike even to himself: sad, dejected and with universal grief in eyes.

“Greetings…” – he said.
“Hello. – surprised Derpy spelled, - I delivered the package…”
“Good.”
“Well then, sign up here.” – postopny said and gave documents to guard.

Guard just silently nodded, took the papers and slowly signed them. Derpy watched his acts and then asked:

“Excuse me my curiosity, but… Why you are so sad? Did something bad or awful happen to you?”

Guard sighed and answered:

“Yes, there is one thing…” [he swallowed a lump in throat] I liked one mare, but I don’t know how to tell her about it…”

At this moment a spark flashed in Derpy’s eyes and small grin appeared on her face. She decided to help the guard. And nefieans supported her – they gave postpony courage and daring, and usually clumsy Derpy immediately turned into professional specialist in field of interpersonal relations.

“Well, in that case I will help you!” – changed pony said suddenly and loudly.

Guard, who, obviously, didn’t expected, such thing, immediately changed color and facial expression.

“Y-y-yo-ou? B-b-but h-how?” – he babbled.
“Ye-e-es me. – Derpy answered, - Listen, dude, no one will tell you what girl want except other girl. You met this other girl – me – so now listen. I will help you to solve your problem.
So if you want to tell to your special somepony about your feelings, you have to know one very important thing: all girls like to be pleasantly surprised, all without exceptions. But every girl like to be surprised in own way. It depends on her character. Calm and quiet ones usually like gentle ways of declaration of love, saucy and perky ones usually like more unordinary and even dashing ways. I know that you, guards, are taught some psychology skills and methods, also you are taught to watch others. So you have to only watch for a couple of times your special somepony – notice what she usually read, how she usually speak, behave herself and make conclusions. I see that this thing won’t be problem to you.
Then, when you learned the character of your fiancée, you have to think the way how to declare.
My offer is next.
At first, ask for a short discharge. At that day just walk around the city. And try to meet your special somepony somewhere near a shop. Came to her and offer to help – carry her bags, for example. Then start a conversation – speak about this nice day or something similar, for example, at first, then you may joke a little. Next steps will depend on character of your fiancée. If she is calm, then accompany her till her house. The,re when she thanked you and asked to put the bags down, did all what she said and silently get on your knees before her and spell the declaration. Then look on her. She will agree. And if your special somepony is active one, you have to surprise her more greatly. I can offer next way. At first give her some good jokes, “prepare” her. Then, when she’ll be ready, say that you want to ask her a question. And after she agrees, put the bags down and start to sing – I don’t remember exactly name of the song and the singer, but I remember the lyrics. Beginning of the song will be enough. First couplet you have to sing as usual, and make special emphasis on refrain – sing it loud and with action. Like this…

When I saw you
Walking down the street,
I said: “That’s the kind of girl
I’d like to meet?”
She is so pretty,
Looks so fine,
I’m gonna make her
My oh mine!

Heeeeeeey, hey babe!
Hu! Ha!
I wanna kno-o-o-o-ow
If you’ll be my girl?”

This will have effect for sure!”

Guard, who was all this time looked on her with big round eyes, was able only to babble approximately about a minute. Only after this he regained the ability to talk as normal pony:

“Yeah, thanks a lot, but… You see, my problem is much more particular and difficult…
I have crush on Princess Luna…”

Having heard this, Derpy just sat down. But she quickly stood up and began to walk there-here, saying: “This circumstance makes everything much more difficult… Problem, problem…”

She walked like this for a couple of minutes, then she suddenly stopped, turned to the guard and said:

“I have found the way…”
“What? How?” – he asked.
“Well, in such case you have to organize something really scale. But I have one idea…
At first you have to manage to became one of Luna’s personal guards – replace the regular one who fell ill for one day, for example. Knowing you, guys, and your “male solidarity”… Well, when you get the place, do ordinary job of personal guards, but handle with Princess gently and delicately. And after some hours you can make the declaration. Knowing Princess Luna, verbal declaration won’t be the best way…”
“I know! – guard suddenly exclaimed, - I’ll make a composition, big beautiful composition: banner, flower, garlands… Then hide it in Castle and, when I will be only one near Princess, I took her to the necessary room!…
If I’ll find courage…”
“Dude, you have just created the most perfect plan! You will find courage for sure!” – Derpy said.
“You see, when you deal with such persons…”
“Don’t worry and everything will be OK!”
“I hope so…”
“Stop doubt, hesitate and act! Make your dream true! Be a stallion! Who is the stallion?”
“I am…” – surprised guard spelled in a bit trembling voice.
“Who is THE ROYAL GUARD?”
“I am.”
“Who is brutal and gentle at the same time?”
“I am.”
“Who is gallant, educated and talented?”
“I am!”
“Who know how to handle with ladies?”
“I am!”
“Who is pickup master?”
“You are, a… I mean I am!”
“Who is brave and bold?”
“I am!”
“Who have just created the most perfect declaration of love to Princess?”
“I am!!!”
“Who will start to do it right now?”
“I am!!!”
“So what are you waiting for? Act!”
“I will do it! I will!!!”
“Now that’s more like it!” – Derpy said.
“Thank you so much”! – guard exclaimed, hugged and kissed postpony as good old friend, thanked her again and rushed to make his dream come true.

Derpy saw him off, sighed and rushed back to Ponyville.

Approaching the town pegasus felt tired again, so she landed and continued her way on hooves. Walking to the post office Derpy took thought and because of this lost the way for a minute. But she quickly realized that she went to the wrong street and recollected. But only she did it and saw the surroundings, her heart stooped – she was right before house, where Doctor usually stops! And moreover – the door had started to open!

Derpy was confused and shocked, she didn’t know what to do. Her nefiean friends tried to calm her, but their attempts were unsuccessful.

Meanwhile the door opened fully, and tenant went outside. He saw postpony and got surprised.

“Derpy, what are you doing here?” – he asked.

Derpy, who two hours ago was master of interpersonal relationships without any complexes, became the most awkward and clumsy pony in Equestria. Her worrying got so strong that aliens would never be able to handle with it without showing themselves to others.

But postpony, in spite of this, began to speak:

“Oh, h-hello, Doctor. I-I just ret-turning to the post office…”
“And why on hooves?”
“J-just got tired a b-bit.”
“Hm, I see… [“I know, it won’t the best words for Time Traveller, but what can I do if there is no better phrases in this language?”] Do you have some free time?”
“What? Why?”
“Well, it’s not in a gentlecolt way to not offer some help to tired lady.”

After these words Derpy was ready to faint.

“M-me?” – she said.
“Yes, ma’am. – Doctor answered, - So, if you are returning, may I, in that case, offer you a cup of tea?”

Pegasus in answer only started to open-close her mouth like she wanted to say something as real answer. Doctor, having seen this, coughed and said:

“I’ll consider this for consent.”

And then he steeped aside and with signs invited Derpy in the house.

Derpy (after push from nefieans) silently nodded and a little unsteadily went in. Doctor followed her and closed the door.

She appeared in a big hall, furnished in Western Europonian style. There were not so many things there, but they created comfort and looked very gracefully at the same time. Right in the middle was big table – but there were nothing on it, except one broken device.

“Is that…” – Derpy began to speak.
“Yes, - Doctor answered after a sigh, - it is. My instrument… I know that it was pure accident, but after you sat on it at our last meeting I am still working on it. Damages are very great…”
“Excuse me, Doctor! I’m so sorry!”
“No need to apologize, Derpy, I have already forgave you.”
“But because of me you have so many problems!”
“It was just an accident. And let’s don’t speak about this again… So, you will drink tea with milk or without?”
“I prefer traditional equestrian tea.” – Derpy answered.
“OK.” – Doctor said and went to the kitchen.

Then Derpy realized in what situation she got, grabbed her head and began to walk there-here about the room (on two hooves – she was partly under influence). “What to do? What to do???” – she murmured quietly but feverishly. She wanted to fix the problem what she caused to Doctor, tell him about her own feelings and thank him for hospitality – and all this against the background of confusion, sharply intensified clumsiness and genuine surprise. Derpy’s mind became absolute chaos of thoughts. Being in such state, it’s impossible to act sensibly. So she after some thinking – if it’s possible to call such process so – couldn’t choose anything better than fixing of the Doctor’s instrument. And she immediately started to work.

She seized powers of nefieans – Derpy’s “mind neighbours” got touched greatly because of strong intermind bonds and body owner’s emotional stress. So, using knowledge of Halt’keri and Skre-tu and magic of Alvere (yes, and don’t be surprised – sub-astral projection, which aliens were at the moment, allowed to use magic), she had being fixing the device in accelerated tempo.

So, when Doctor returned to the room with tray, on which were necessary for traditional Western Europonian tea Party kitchenware, he saw Derpy, sitting on the floor with silly smile of confusion and… his sonic screwdriver, completely fixed and shiny polished. It looked like it was straight off the production line. He just dropped the tray, and for some seconds was in stupor. Then he slowly approached the table and silently looked on screwdriver.

“How?” – he said quietly.
“Oh, this… I j-just wanted very-very much to fix the problem what I caused. And, by the way, I just looked at the clock, and… Post office will close in ten minutes, so I have to run. But th-thanks anyway!” – postpony gabbled and shot out of the house.

Doctor remained silent and confused.

Derpy was in time right before closing, and did the regular procedure of completion of workday. And when she was doing the usual work, extremely surprised nefieans had being dealing with fact that they aren’t first (and not the most developed) Visitors on this planet.

They dealt with it for sure when Derpy left the post office and went home.

The shortest way to her house passed through the Ponyville park. There were not so many ponies there at that evening, but one company was noticeable from great distance – it was six Keepers of the Elements of Harmony with their regalia and Spike with Big Mac. They looked very strangely: their hairs, manes and tales got darker shade (Spike and Big Mac were black as coal miners after hard day), and they were extremely tired. It seemed that smoke or steam rose over them, but because of their mood it was hardly to guess if they were really toasted a bit or just reached the boiling point.

“Twilight, ya have to stop! – Applejack exclaimed, - Ah understand that it’s important to ya, but… eight attempts! And we got nothing except burns!”
“Yeah, that enough! – Rainbow Dash said loudly, - Eight fails in one hour! We are tired! And just look on Spike and Big Mac!”

Dark Spike and Big Mac, which were lying on the grass, sat up, nodded and fell on the ground again.

“I know that it’s very hard, darling, - Rarity said, - but it’s eight o’clock already.”
“I had to feed my animals an hour ago.” – Fluttershy spelled.
“And I had to feed myself!” – Pinkie Pie added.
“Girls, I know all these problems! – Twilight answered, - But listen, such favorable conditions for Superuniting of the Elements of Harmony will repeat only after seventeen months! And...”
“Twilight, that’s not the problem. – Rainbow Dash interrupted, - The problem is that your “Incredibly developed spell” doesn’t work!”
“Yes.” – confirmed others.
“I don’t know! I just can’t find what went wrong! The Spell was researched by the greatest masters of magic for many times!… Such possibility appears very and very rare. So, please, girls, one more attempt! If it will fail, then… we’ll meet again for this in seventeen months.”
“Okay…” – ponies and Spike said and stood on their places.

At this moment Derpy appeared from bushes and said:

“Excuse my interest, but can I help you?”

Ponies-Keepers and Spike with Big Mac got surprised, but quickly calmed themselves and began to act like they didn’t see what Derpy was doing today.

“Well, h-hi again, Derpy.” – some ponies said.
“Hello, Derpy. – Twilight said, - Thank for the offer, but… I don’t think that you’ll be able to help us…”
“I understand… – Derpy sighed, - And, by the way, what are you trying to do?”
“Well, with great help of Princesses and masters I created one powerful spell. – Twilight began to tell, - We called it the Superuniting Spell. Having used it, we can join the powers of all the Elements of Harmony in one. But the spell is very difficult and needs particular conditions of environment. Such conditions have developed today, so we decided to try it. But we faced with problem: everything necessary was done – we took the right positions, thought about necessary things, did all the ninety five steps in necessary time, organized outlets [she pointed on Spike and Big Mac] – one for positive, other for negative, as during the process a lot of excessive energy is forming – but got nothing! Now we’ll take the last attempt. If it will fail, then, I don’t know, we’ll probably try again in one and half years…”

Derpy, having heard all this, just scratched her head. But Alvere, Head of Nefie Magic Council, understood the probable cause of problem, and shared this thought with Derpy. Pony, having received it, lit up and, having learnt that nefieans are also wanted to help (but just for exploring the magic of this world), shared this thought with others:

“Maybe the quantity of energy is so great that you need three outlets?”
“Seriously?” – Keepers said.
“Derpy, this will not wo…” – Twilight started, but suddenly stopped, and in a minute made a facehoof.
“Of course! – she exclaimed, - And how we could forgot about this? Three outlets! Three types of energy – positive, negative and NEUTRAL! Guys, i think that now the spell will work!”
“Are you sure?” – said guys.
“It will work! – Twilight answered, - If the outlets were the only problem, then I just have to separate the neutral energy. Knowing the signatures of positive and negative energies, it’s simple job – for a couple of minutes!”
“Well, in that case – as I know what Big Mac and Spike felt – allow me be the third outlet – for negative energy.” – Derpy said.
“What? No! – Twilight shouted, - Do you understand what can happen? You can be toasted with it!”
“Twilight, after all lightning strikes what I got one more charge won’t change anything. So don’t worry! Do your Spell!”
“But Derpy…”
“Don’t doubt! I’ll do just fine!” – Derpy declared and with gestures stopped objections.

So ponies and Spike took the necessary positions and Twilight, after preparations and having swallowed a lump in throat, started to cast the Spell.

At that moment it’s necessary to say that Superuniting of the Elements of Harmony – it’s like activation of Infinite Improbability Drive, powered with pure concentrated happiness, near hyperportal type black hole. It means that everything can happen.

And everything had happened.

When Twilight did the last, ninety-fifth step of the Spell, huge column of bright light rose over the Ponyville and rushed into deep space. It lasted for three seconds, but during this time ponies with Spike travelled across 2373465012596718 realities and met all kinds of versions of themselves. Then the column disappeared – only small light cloud what covered the group remained – and the Superuniting itself had begun. Creating of energy had started immediately, and this, in turn, caused all ponies and Spike different, but not pleasant feelings: Keepers felt themselves like at acupuncture session, where ten thousand needles were inserting in their bodies at one time, Big Mac felt strong itch, Spike felt fierce tickling and Derpy felt continuous lightning strike. They screamed – all, except Big Mac: he tried to suffer. Spike, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Twilight screamed mostly because of surprise and shock than because of pain. But Derpy with nefieans felt only pain. Because of this Derpy herself and Alvere screamed, Halt’keri with Skre-tu roared.

Meanwhile somewhere from one and a half thousand light years one star turned into supernova, but it quickly extinguished as all its energy got sucked into suddenly appeared hyperportal channel and got transferred to Earth. There it condescended on Princesses Celestia and Luna, and they felt themselves as good as never before, but in a second they became very depressed because as quickly they got this energy as quickly they lost it. Meanwhile the energy, having passed through receivers, rushed to Ponyville park and powered the Superuniting. This caused changes in process, and ponies with Spike screamed louder.

Transformation lasted for a minute. And everything would be fine, but during the changing light cloud, which hided the Superuniting from curious eyewitnesses, produced energy flashes, what appeared absolutely randomly and hit things and ones all over the planet. So, one charge got to Chrystal Empire, where at the moment preliminary competitions before the Equestria Games were in the heat, and hit two colts-sportponies. One of them because of this broke the record of all times and nations in running, other, in turn, broke the same record in jumping. But he landed right in the Royal Box, right on Princess Cadance, so he got some thrashing from Shining Armor. And the competitions were begun anew. Second charge got to Manehatan and hit the Clock Tower of the city. Clock device appeared to be fixed, but the ceiling of new Mayor’s real appeared to be covered with soot. Third charge hit Discord. This caused him a strong backache, and because of this, in turn, Eternal Chaos was established on Earth, but only for thirteen nanoseconds, so no one noticed this. Fourth charge got into Everfree forest and vaporized all beverage reserves of siberian tourists. Never before the forest felt such grief. Fifth charge got into Eastern Kingdoms and turned one boring formal meeting into rave…

There were about three hundred such flashes or so, but, knowing that on twentieth charge you’ll lose all the interest to the story, let’s return to our main heroes, who at the moment were in the heat of process.

Energy from supernova made the Superuniting posiible, but it also caused some side effects: Spike, who was the outlet for positive energy, became almost two times higher. Big Mac, who was the outlet for neutral energy, got no changes, but intensive energy pumping destroyed all toxins in his body, and this provided incredible health for years. And what about Keepers… When the light cloud began to disperse, appeared that Element’s convergence caused the convergence of organisms. And Twilight became the pattern. Derpy got one more lightning stroke and fell on grass.

Ponies and Spike, paying absolutely no attention on their new parts and some other stuff, having seen Derpy, rushed to her and brought her to life.

“Are you okay?” – they asked when postpony opened her eyes.
“Imma roast...” – Derpy answered and dozed off.
“She is all right. – they said to themselves, - She just needs to take some nap.”

And after this Keepers, Big Mac and Spike began to surprise the changes what happened to them.

In ten minutes Princesses Celestia and Luna, who directly participated in process and who intuitively felt what had happened, teleported in Ponyville. Ponies-Keepers woke up Derpy. Princesses, looking on the team before them, had mixed feelings and approximately for half of a minute weren’t able to say a word. Then, when they regained this ability, they start to speak.

“Well, my congratulations! – Celestia said, - I see that Superuniting was successful!”
“Yes, it was, Your Highness. – Twilight answered, - But we didn’t expect such consequences…”
“It’s great surprise for all of us.” – other participants of the Superuniting said.
“But we’re still happy for you!” – Luna said.
“I know that your first attempts got no results. – Celestia wondered, - You informed us about this after your sixth fail. Why this try was successful?”
“Well, we got some help!” – ponies and Spike said, parted and made the way for confused and a bit toasted Derpy.

Princesses got very surprised.

“Excuse me, but let us know how did you help?” – Celestia asked.
“I just offered myself to be the third outlet, Your Majesties.” – Derpy answered.
“Third outlet?”
“Yes. For neutral energy. – Twilight clarified, - But Derpy was the outlet for negative.”
“Today Derpy helped many of us.” – other Keepers said.
“Eyup!” – Big Mac confirmed.
“Especially me.” – Applejack and Pinkie Pie added.
“And my sister.” – Rarity continued.
“But she didn’t help me!” – Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“Next time pay for delivering… Your Highness!” – Derpy spelled.

Others hardly kept from laughing.

“I see you did a lot of good things today, Derpy. – Celestia said, - You even helped to execute the Superuniting!”
“How can we thank you?” – Luna asked.
“Well, now I just want to get home!” –postpony answered.

Princesses nodded and, having brought postpony into tidy look, teleported her right on the porch of her house.

There happy Dinky met her mother and they spent nice family evening with games, reading and other entertainments. Nefieans for all this time disconnected with pony senses and retired as much as it was possible for assimilating of all the information what they got today.

At that time an emergency meeting was convened in Canterlot Castle. Now already nine alicorns (Cadance and Shining Armor were urgently teleported from Crystal Empire), Spike, Big Mac and all the ponies who got package and help from Derpy – a lot of eyewitnesses were called. Many of them were with stoned surprised faces even after hours.

“I saw a lot of strange things in my life, but today… This surpassing everything!” – Celestia spelled.
“It’s definitely something wrong with Derpy!” – Luna added.
“I know Derpy for a long time, - Rainbow Dash said, - but I don’t remember any expressions of her cunningness and this sarcastic sense of humor!”
“She never had such features. – tired and a bit disgruntled (as he was awakened) postmaster murmured, - As she never had such speed of reaction!”
“What?” – exclaimed others.
“Yes. – postmaster continued, - When she was in the distributing room, one loader dropped two boxes with glassware. And Derpy caught all the things! She was like a lightning!”
“Continuing the theme, - Spitfire intervened, - Derpy said that she once fixed dispenser at your office…”
“What? Seriously? – postmaster sincerely surprised, - She is afraid of this thing because it rumbles awfully and never come close to it!”
“Than how did she fix our “Ferris wheel”?” – Spitfire muttered.
“She did what?” – postmaster and some other ponies exclaimed.
“She fixed this scary thing? – Rainbow Dash exclaimed, - Where did she get such knowledge?”
“I think she got it at the same place where she got her astronomical knowledge, some of which are not described in books.” – Rarity said.
“And knowledge about cooking!” – Pinkie Pie added.
“And knowledge about construction and Siberian language. – Spike continued, - I heard this when I went to market. Then I thought that it’s just an absurd fiction, but now…”
“But the most important thing where did she get knowledge about magic! – Twilight said loudly, - She never heard about the Superuniting, I am sure about this for 100%. But thanks to her – only her – we did it.”
“Ah agree with Twilight. – Applejack said, - Big Mac told me that Derpy used some method, very similar to magic, to bring me to life when Ah was tired. [Big Mac silently nodded] He said that Derpy learned it from one old pony from Mountain Meadow village…”
“Mountain Meadow???” – Celestia and Luna exclaimed.
“Yes, Your Majesties.” – Applejack and Big Mac confirmed.
“This village was resettled because of the threat of landslides forty years ago!” – Celestia said.

Absolute silence set up in the hall for a moment.

“What?” – some ponies exclaimed.
“Derpy contacted with ghosts?” – Spike said.
“Or she just lied to us!” – Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, Rarity and Applejack exclaimed.
“Quiet! – Luna shouted, - We have moved from the basic problem – what had happened to Derpy and what we have to do with this!”
“May be I know what happened to her…” – Discord, who till that moment was still, suddenly said.
“You know? What?” – asked others immediately.

Spirit swallowed small lump in throat and began:

“I met Derpy when I was at Fluttershy’s place. But before she had arrived, Futtershy’s bunny, Angel, came. He was covered with burdock seeds. So Fluttershy went to clean it, and left me “to entertain” Derpy. When she turned, I *khem* decided to hypnotize her a little…”
“Discord!!!” – other ponies, especially Fluttershy, shouted.
“What? Well, I couldn’t resist – custom is second nature, you know, so don’t be surprised. – spirit answered, - So, I decided to hypnotize her just for fun, but suddenly everything reversed! And as result she hypnotized me!”

At that moment all others just froze with opened mouths.

“Yes, she hypnotized me. – Discord continued, - I don’t know how she did it – cause I sensed nothing, – but one thing I felt for sure: just before I got hypnotized, I felt that there were some more minds in her body at that moment…”
“Whaaat???” – exclaimed others.
“Yes. – spirit continued, - And I don’t know how to explain this.”
“You say that someone or something just installed itself into her?” – Luna and Celestia said.
“Or she is a changeling!” – Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“No, she isn’t. – Discord said, - Changelings aren’t able to imitate such thing. I made a bet with Chrysalis long ago, and even she failed. I think that Celestia with Luna are right, there is something or someone INSIDE Derpy.”
“Well, and as we don’t know exactly what happened to Derpy, we shall watch her.” – Celestia said.
“You mean spy?” – Discord grinned.
“Yes. Or do you have better suggestions?” – Princess asked.

Spirit didn’t find anything to object.

“Well, in that case Wonderbolts, Cadance, Shining Armor, Spike, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Discord and Luna with me will watch Derpy. Other – return to your houses and tomorrow act like nothing had happened.” – Celestia continued.
“We shall meet at 18:00 P.M. at the center of Canterlot garden.” – Luna said.

All gathered nodded in agreement, stood up and went home.

At next day they carried the plan into execution. When Derpy, after taking her daughter to school, went to the post office, postmaster and distributor with imperturbable face – as far as it was possible after yesterday events – gave her new task. Derpy nodded and went away. After this Princesses and Keepers, Shining Armor and Discord began to watch Derpy, using scanning magic (4/9 of alicorns learned it in emergency mode); Spike and Wonderbolts used “traditional” spy methods.

They attentively watched postpony – all ones, except Discord. He preferred to watch other watchers, accompanying this with creation of appropriate environment. Such tricks caused some ones paranoia (or fear) attacks, but after some thrashing from others spirit decided to stop do pranks and returned to the main task. And there were a lot of things to watch.

There were not so many acts of help as yesterday. They wewre next. At first Derpy helped Daisy, Lilly and Roseluck to banish parasprites what attacked their gardens. She did it, just having made so scary face that even Discord – who occasionally saw it – felt ill at ease. Then she told to gloomy siberian tourists (on their native language, of course) where they can fill up their stock in Berry Punch’s store. Next she met Great and Powerful Trixie – who came to Ponyville on holidays, as she said – and showed her how using minimal quantity of magic switch colors of hair and mane. Trixie was grateful, but at first, when she became red, she squealed very and very loud. After Derpy saved small group of young ponies from timbervolves – these creatures decided to stop the attack, having heard about ultramodern technologies of Dodge City power-saw bench. Then she secretly fixed the problem with electricity distribution at transformer substation near Ponyville dam. And, as the final, Derpy taught Scootaloo to fly. How? She just insensibly pricked her with pine needle, when young pony was distracted . Scootaloo screamed and disappered in the sky, having left only purple trace. No one expected such agility at the first time. Rainbow Dash, having seen it, almost fainted, and Spitfire chose first member of “Wonderbolts: the Next Generation”.

During the watching all observers with magic abilities tried to find out what have happened to Derpy using different kinds of scanning spells. But all the results what they got were chaotic structure of aura and mind, and energy level, which not every unicorn is able to reach. So, watchers gathered at Canterlot garden to discuss what to do next.

All observers arrived in time – all, except Princess Luna. It was strange – the most punctual one from all didn’t come. Ponies, Spike and even Discord began to worry, and very soon after this Luna came. She was shocked and scared.

“What happened to you?” – gathered asked.
“I saw the reason of Derpy’s behavior…” – Luna answered.
“It was so awful?”
“Yes…”
“What is it?”
“Wait! – Celestia suddenly interrupted, - Luna, tell us at first HOW did you saw the reason. Because we all, in fact, saw nothing.”
“Well, - Luna quietly spelled, having swallowed a lump in throat, - at first I used typical scanning spells, like all of you, but got nothing. So, I used some other spells – from the group of borderline magic…”
“You did what?” – Celestia shouted.
“I wanted to see the reason, that’s all! – Luna objected, - And I saw it… Discord was right – there are some ones (three, to be precise), they are installed in her body and made close system with her mind. These ones took control over her at the times of all “acts of help”. It seems that they don’t threaten to others and their host, but… These ones aren’t spirits, changelings or other creepers, or ponies with magic abilities.”
“What?” – all other shouted.
“Yes, these… entities have absolutely unknown origin. The magic what I felt isn’t similar to any known kind. It looks like these ones aren’t from our world!”
“Than where did they come from?”
“I have no idea.”

There was a pause. Than Celestia broke the silence:

“We have to undertake measures immediately. We don’t know what they are up to, so we have to make them leave Derpy’s body. Only way to do this – stop her and do the extraction spell. I know, it’s not the most equusely thing, but we have no other choice. In one hour Derpy will return from post office to her home, as usually, through the Ponyville park. There we’ll stop her and get these entities from her.”
“Wait! What about her daughter? – Keepers interrupted, - Dinky seems to know nothing about what had happened to her mother.”
“Hm… If so, we have to tell her about it.” – Celestia ordered.
“Ask her friends to do this, prepare her.” – Luna added.

Keepres nodded.

“In an hour we shall learn everything.” – Luna and Celestia said, and all gathered disappeared in flash.

The hour passed. Derpy said goodbye to every one in office and, having put the mailbag on back, went home.

She was walking though the park when she heard strange swish. It lasted for couple of seconds and then… All ponies, who got help from her at last days and even more, appeared from bright flash of light and surrounded her. Derpy was perplexed.

“A… H-hello?” – she said quietly.

But usual friendly answer didn’t come.

“Tell us, Derpy, what had happened to you?” – Luna and Celestia asked.
“Pardon me, what?”
“Your behavior, Derpy. – Twilight continued, - At two last days you made a lot of ponies surprised and even shocked.”

Great surprise, shock and even fear still were on faces of many gathered.

“E-excuse me, but I don’t understand what you are talking about.” – Derpy spelled.
“These your “acts of help”. – said Luna, - You don’t remember that?”
“I have some lapses of memory at last time, Your Majesties. – postpony answered, – I had last holiday long ago. But I don’t remember any acts of help.”
“Don’t lie to us, Derpy…” – some gathered spelled.
“What? I didn’t lie! I really don’t remember!” – Derpy exclaimed.
“Mommy, why you didn’t tell me! – a sudden voice came from behind of the round-up, and, having passed through the crowd, Dinky came forward, - Why you didn’t tell me about all that strange things?”
“Excuse me, dear, but I REALLY don’t remember anything similar!”
“That’s it…”

Celestia, Luna, Cadance and Twilight step forward and thier horns began to glow.

Derpy didn’t even have time to step back. Four fluxes of incredible energy hit her in a flash and went through her body. She cried out in pain.

Applejack with Rarity shielded Dinky. Other stood in horror.

Princesses continued the extraction for a minute, till the moment when shuddering in pain pony suddenly screamed: “Stop!!!”

Alicorns immediately stopped. Derpy fell down. But she quickly stood up, shook off a little and began to speak. But now in the changed, raspy, muffled, but loud voice.

“We left too many traces… And we can blame only ourselves for it… Well, if we have been found, we don’t need to keep dark…”

And then incredible flash hided Derpy. All gathered squinted to avoid tedious brightness.

When they opened their eyes, they saw three big transparent silhouettes: giant lizard-bigfoot creature in the center, ceratops-alike creature to the right of it and changeling-alike creature to the left of it. Derpy was sitting on the ground and rubbed own aching head.

Shocked and scared ponies stepped back. Derpy, having seen how really her “mind neighbors” look, froze.

“You have seen what we have done. – nefieans said, - We will not harm you.”
“W-who are you?” – some ponies asked in trembling voice.
“It will be hard to you to accept this, but listen to us and believe.” – Halt’keri spelled.
“As you might guess, we are not from these places. – Skre-tu continued, - We even are not from this planet.”
“Then from what place did you come?” – ponies wondered.
“We are from other planet, which is called Nefie.” – Alvere answered.
“It’s other system, very, very far from here.” – Skre-tu said.
“Four thousand light years, to be precise.” – Halt’keri intervened.
“What???” – all gathered exclaimed.
“Oh yes. – Skre-tu said, - There are lot of stars in the sky, and great part from them have planets. But inhabited planets are very rare. We have found only seven hundred ones, although explored thirtieth part of the Galaxy. This amount is miserable.”
“And you are the first real, formed alien (to us, of course) civilization what we have met.” – Alvere continued.
“First time since the beginning of our explorations, which have begun more than century ago.” – Halt’keri added.
“So… You say that there are other kinds of life on other planets?” – Twilight quietly said.
“Yes. – Skre-tu answered, - But you have to do great job to find such planets.”

Gathered just silently nodded.

“We apologize for forgiveness for scaring and shocking you.” – Alvere said.
“And especially we apologize to you, Derpy.” – Halt’keri and Skre-tu continued.
“I forgive you. – pegasus answered, - To be honest, it was very interesting to spend time with you. But I have only one complaint: notify before installing next time, okay?”
“We will.” – nefieans answered.

After these words the situation changed. Gathered calmed and decided to speak with guests.

Princesses were first who started the conversation.

“Excuse us, but we wonder…” – Celestia started.
“We wonder why did you come here, to Earth?” – Luna interupted.
“Well, your planet was a part of our research program. – Halt’keri began to tell, - We built new extra large telescope to look for planets in other star systems, which are far from our native. The closest systems we had already explored, thanks to our magicians…”
“Wait, you have magicians?” – ponies surprised.
“Yes. – Halt’keri continued, - And as there, at Nefie there is only one nation with strongly marked magic abilities [and Halt’keri gently pointed on Alvere]. These our magicians developed the spell, which allowed to travel to other planets.”
“Yes, it is, but for this you need great strength and a lot of time. – Alvere intervened, having seen misapprehension on faces of gathered, - Also this spell allows to travel not in your physical body, but in so-called “sub-astral projection”. You can see three examples at the moment.”
“But this spell had distance limitation: sixty seven light years. – Skre-tu continued and pointed on neighbor, - But this big guy, Halt’keri, Great Technology Master of Nefie, created the device, what allowed to travel much farther.”
“Yes, - Halt’keri said after a nod, - but travels still aren’t possible without powerful magic, which only greatest masters can do. We are here only thanks to only lady in our company, Alvere, Head of Nefie Magic Council.”
“But without your device it also wasn’t possible. – she spelled after bow, - And, speaking about why we came to Earth, well, your planet was chosen as first object of exploration in the “Long Way” program, which was based on using of Halt’keri’s device. Your planet was discovered to us thanks for Master Skre-tu [Alvere pointed, Skre-tu also bowed], the First Astronomer of Nefie. He determined it as the most perspective object.”
“So, thanks to these circumstances we are here.” – Halt’keri finished.
“You came there to explore the planet? – some ponies wondered, - Well, in that case you could show yourselves, and we would welcome you!”
“You see, we expected that our non-hidden appearance will, to put it mildly, scare you. So, we followed the plan of “undercover expedition”. – Halt’keri answered.
“Our libraries and archives are always open for explorers! – Celestia and Luna said, - You can use any materials what you need and want!”
“Thanks, but now we don’t need it.” – Skre-tu answered.
“You don’t?” – Princesses got surprised.
“Yes. You see, I am a telepathist. – Skre-tu explained, - I am able to get all necessary information right from the sentient’s mind. So I have been getting data during all this time and share it with my colleagues. Also thanks to this you have no need to introduce yourselves, Your Majesties!”
“O-okay.” – alicorns spelled.
“By the way, I must thank you, Princesses! – addressed Skre-tu to Celestia and Luna, - You provided greatest part of knowledge! As you, Princess Twilight.”
“Me?” – she surprised.
“Yes. Some information I was able to get only thanks to you and your extraordinary knowledge!”
“Well, thanks!” – Twilight said, blushing.
“You haven’t to confuse if so it is! – Skre-tu exclaimed, - Also I want to thank all other – for much more detailed information! Buy especially I want to thank Derpy.”

Other ponies slowly bowed. Derpy addressed to her former “might neighbors”:

“I want to ask why you chose me as intermediary?”
“Well, you just “got lucky” to be the first representative of civilization we met. – Halt’keri answered, - And we got instructions, according to which we have to install ourselves into the first one what we would see.”
“I understand now… - pony spelled, - Well, if you got knowledge about our world, then tell us about yours!”
“Yeah!” – other ponies agreed, including Dinky, who got freed, came to mother and became interested as all others and even more.
“Well, if you ask… - Halt’keri said and addressed to his friend, - Begin, Skre-tu!”
“If you ask… - Skre-tu continued, - Well, Nefie. Our native planet. In a general way, it is similar to Earth – almost the same size (our planet just a bit smaller), almost the same look – blue sea, brown and green continents, white clouds and polar caps. Atmospheres of Nefie and Earth are almost identical. Differences – they are next: on Nefie greatest part of land is at southern hemisphere and total square of land is bigger than on Earth, but in spite of this almost all land covered by forests, meadows, fields, settlements and roads, and the main difference, as you might guess, consist in flora and fauna. But also, in spite of great distance between our planets, they have common feature – plants and animals are on both. Although a lot of plants on Nefia are able to move, but not so fast…
And what about the star system, well, there are a lot of differences. At first it’s necessary to say that Nefie has two Suns and three Moons…”
“What? Really?” – Luna and Celestia exclaimed.
“Yes, Your Majesties.” – Skre-tu continued, - Moreover, Suns of Nefie are small orange stars, and Sun of Earth is average yellow one. Moons of Nefie also smaller than Moon of Earth, but they are closer to planet. And, for some information, usually planets have more Moons than Suns. [after these words Luna maliciously and cunningly looked on Celestia] Now let’s return to the main. As I said, there are two small Suns in Nefie system. Because of this nefiean year is shorter than terrestrial – 274 your days. Lunations on Nefie have duration of 7, 12 and 18 days. And the structure of the system… Well, there are 11 planets in our, Khoru-Dhire, system – there are 8 here. But it’s necessary to say that in our system there are only three gas giants, but there are two huge planets with solid surface (they are five times bigger than Nefie or Earth) – and there are no such planets there.
Well, that’s all about our part of space. About population of Nefie you will learn from the specialist…”

And Skre-tu gave place for Alvere.

“Okay… – she said after nod and began, - Speaking about population of Nefie, it’s necessary to say that now you see the representatives of all sapient species of the planet.”
“Only three?” – gathered wondered.
“Yes. – Alvere answered, - Earth in this regard is richer. Well, there are only three nations on Nefie, but it’s enough for life with adventures and fun.
All nations have approximately equal population – a billion or so. Self-designations of us are ndekhi [Alvere pointed on Skre-tu], zhate [she pointed on Halt’keri] and evsta [she pointed on herself]. As you already heard, evsta are only nation of magicians, and ndekhi are able for telepathy; zhate have no such abilities, but have incredible vitality. Together we form the Nefie Unity, the state of the planet. Its capital is called Sedt’mal, and it is very big city – almost fifty million nefieans live there.”

Ponies, having heard about that quantity, got startled.

“Yes, fifty millions. – Alvere continued, - Lots of ones… But Sedt’mal is cultural, trade, industrial, science and magic center of Nefie. It’s very beautiful place, I’ll show you…”

And shee with magic created some kind of hologram of the capital. High skyscrapers of original architecture, wide streets, big parks… It looked amazing. Ponies, surprised and charmed, watched this splendor for a couple of minutes. Then Alvere got tired to support the vision and picture of alien city disappeared in air.

“That’s the modern situation. – Alvere said, - now some words about our history.
Appearance of our civilization happened twelve thousands nefiean years ago. At that days it was represented as group of small states of different sub-nations. But in process of time these states got bigger and, in result, the Three Empires were formed. They existed for five thousands our years, then they were transformed into republics. But long before this the forming of ties between states had begun – conflicts had place to be, but their quantity became less and less each next year. The finishing of this process was the creation of the Nefie Unity. Its capital was built at the place, where borders of all three states contacted. And recently we celebrated one thousand years since the formation of the Unity.”
“Our congratulations!” – gathered said.
“Thanks!” – aliens bowed.
“Will you not mind some more questions?” – Spike interested.
“No, ask as much as you want!” – nefieans answered.
“Say, how did you learn two our languages so fast?”
“Well, if you make contact between two minds, the language of the “receiving end” is the first thing what you usually learn – or else communication is impossible.” – Skre-tu said.
“Hm… Interesting.” – Spike quietly spelled.
“Why did you help us?” – Spitfire, postmaster and some other ponies wondered.
“We don’t know… Altruism?” – Halt’keri shrugged.
“Then why it was so weird sometimes?”
“Pardon us, but we couldn’t do it in other way.”
“You didn’t say a word about spirits… – Discord suddenly intervened, - Do Nefie has some my brethrens?”
“Why, yes, there are spirits on Nefie, but they are quite rare.” – Alvere answered.
“And they prefer to not appear among us, mortals…” – Halt’keri added.
“And do Nefie has its own Chaos Master?”
“Yes, it has. And I must say that appearance is the only difference between you and him.” – Alvere answered.
“That’s interesting… And, by the way, how did you manage to hypnotize ME?”
“The art of impact reflection. Primary mystery of Nefie Magic Council. Not the subject for disclosure.”
“And how about some demonstration?”
“This, unfortunately, is also prohibited – conditions are not extreme.”
“It’s a pity!”
“I understand.”
“We would like to know some more details…” – Rarity began to speak.
“Yes?”
“Well… How do you feel about fashion?”
“If you are talking about clothes… -Alvere spelled, - Well, we, as you, wear it not very often. Ndekhi and zhate, in particular, prefer to paint own bodies instead of wearing clothes.”
“You said that atmosphere of Nefie is identical to Earth’s, - said Rainbow Dash, - but do you have weather control?”
“You know, the weather control was one of the greatest surprises of your civilization to us.” – Skre-tu answered.
“You don’t have even something similar?”
“So to speak, we, nefieans got used to forecasts.”
“Excuse me, but… – Fluttershy quietly said , - You said that and animals, and plants on Nefie can move, so… [she paused] …Are you keeping both as pets?”
“Yes, we are. – Halt’keri said, - But, you know, pet plants – this even for some nefieans sounds weird.”
“Ah want to ask you about our cuisine…” – Applejack said.
“Yeah! Me too!” – Pinkie Pie chirped.
“Well, in general we liked it, - Halt’keri spelled, - but it’s too sweet for us. We didn’t get used for such great quantity of sweet dished. And, besides, it’s necessary to say that we (all three nations) are, in fact, omnivorous…”
“What?” – ponies exclaimed.
“Yes. – Halt’keri continued, - But usually we prefer to eat something photosynthetic or non-organic.”
“Non-organic?”
“Yes, but now I’m not able to show it – stuff will just pass through me as through air.”
“We see…”
“Do you have families?” – Cadance and Shining Armor asked.
“Just like you.” – Alvere smiled.
“And what do you thing about our planet in whole? – Pinkie Pie gabbled, - Do you like it? How much? Would you like to stay?”
“Well… - Skre-tu spelled, - In general, I must say that we all liked this world. Of course, it is unaccustomed to us, but… In spite of this we liked it! And what about to stay… According to the Plan we must return to Nefie as soon as expedition will be finished. And now it’s finished…”
“So… Will you come again?”
“And this is quite possible!”
“It is?” – now pleasantly surprised ponies exclaimed.
“Yes. – nefieans said together, and Skre-tu continued, - Second expedition will be organized after processing of the information what we got. It will take some great time but… Now, I must say, the official contact between civilizations is established, so next our team will be much bigger. So, we ask to appoint Prince Shining Armor, Princesses Twilight and Cadance organizers of official part of meeting and Keepers Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity organizers of festive part.”

All gathered smiled, and Celestia with Luna agreed.

“One more question!… – Twilight timidly said and suddenly for others paused, - A… It may be pertly, but… I wonder about your technologies. You outstripped us for years. So… If you don’t mind, give us a lesson!”
“Well, it’s a rather sore point. – Halt’keri answered, - According to the Plan we shouldn’t share our knowledge, but there were some exceptions… And I must say that they allow us to share.
Of course, some things we won’t give to you – we need to consider all eventualities, and some our stuff may cause great harm in case of incorrect using. But great part of our technologies is harmless (relatively), so we can give you the data.
But we can’t stay there and teach you. So, knowing this circumstance, we decided to go other way – we will leave you the specialist…”

And nefieans stepped back and bowed to Derpy.

“ME???” – surprised pony exclaimed.
“Yes. – Halt’keri answered, - To absorb this knowledge great memory is necessary. And you, my dear, is rare one with such memory.”
“Are you sure?” – Derpy asked without trusting in the told.
“We are. – Skre-tu said, - Just believe in yourself.”
“Okay…”
“Also together with our technology knowledge we will leave you our knowledge about magic and our culture. – Alvere added, - For this also contact Derpy.”
“And magic?” – Derpy surprised with other gathered.
“Yup. We are not greedy.” – Halt’keri said.

Ponies thanked nefieans sincerely for such gift.

“Well, now it’s time for us to go home!” – Skre-tu sighed.
“Wait! One more question!” – Derpy suddenly exclaimed.
“Yes?”
“We will meet again, but it will happen there, on Earth. So, say, please, will we be able to see your world ever?”
“Well, you now aren’t under influence of the device, - Haltkeri explained, - so now we won’t be able to take anyone. But now you have knowledge how to create this thing, so… Some more years – and you will be able!”
“And I must add, - Alvere intervened, - that I, having looked on your magic, understood that you may be able to create the spell which will allow to travel in real physical body faster than we. Especially now, with our experience.”
“Thanks!”

Nefieans bowed and said:

“Thanks to you too, friends! See you!”
“How there will be in Nefiean “goodbye, friends”?” – Dinky asked her mother.
“Give a minute!… Aha! “Gek’na, graide”!” – Derpy exclaimed.
“Gek’na, graide!” – ponies said.
“Goodbye, friends!” – nefieans smiled.

Then Halt’keri and Skre-tu nodded to Alvere, she concentrated, sphere of light appeared between her horns, a sec – and all three were swept by huge light column, which rose to sky.

Light disappeared in few seconds, and when it all gone, no one was standing at the former center of the sheaf.

At that day for all ponies – and not only them – the world turned upside down. They learned that they are not alone in the Universe, and that there among far stars and planets they will find friends.

* * *

Ponies, Spike and Discord after leaving of nefieans looked for a long time at the sky and came to feelings. Then they little by little began to disband – went home to recover finally.

From next day other life had begun. Ponies and other earthlings began to relate to each other even more kinder and with greater understanding. Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Fluttershy began the preparation for next meeting with guests from Nefie. Derpy began to spend much more time with daughter and changed jobs – the last was arranged by Princesses Celestia and Luna: she became the main pony in the Research Center of Nefiean Legacy.

In general, a lot more things have changed and a lot of things had happened. But that’s another story…