Doing Hurtful Things To Your Waifu: Fanfic Edition

by A Red SketchPad

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Tragedy, Dark, Human
Length: 6601

A man has come to Equestria after a rift in space-time from the power of the magic of friendship. There is one thing about this man: he hates ponies. He will do anything to make them miserable.

As Tirek gets thrown into the pits of Tartarus, he employs the last of his magic to bring in a guest from the far beyond. A human from a place called Earth. He offers a proposition: an unhealthy amount of wealth if he were to break the minds of the Element of Harmony.

How can such a man refuse?

A COMEDIC FANFIC BASED ON THE CHARTS!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-27 20:36:22 UTC

Prologue

"Ahh! Finally off from work." A man walked into his small house. He had a giant smile on his face while he took off his shoes and socks. He stretched his arms out, yawning slightly from the aching in his bones. Unplugging his Beats from his iPhone, he reconnected the headphones into the speakers on his computer. "Charlie, my man, that little prom was fucking gay, but you made big bucks!" He chuckled to himself as he turned on his computer. He clicked on Chrome because, in his words, 'he ain't a fucking scrub to use Internet Explorer' and went on YouTube to play some dubstep.

He clicked on his favorite's list and the first video to play was Sexism by Excision & Skism. He popped out a sliding shelf to reveal his keyboard, then popped another out to jam out a little with his turntable. As he was jamming out, he clicked on another tab to go to 4chan. It was a wondrous place to be for him to troll his fellow 'b-tards' and 'd-generates'. But his favorite place to troll was on the /mlp/ boards.

He went on the board to inspect the threads that took place. It was a shame that they banned the Tulpa threads. They were his most favorite threads to troll. People who, if they believe hard enough, will bring their favorite pony to life with their mind. At best, they were creating an imaginary friend. One of the threads he despised was the Flutterrape threads. A fuckin' piss yellow pony that attempts to rape the anon.

And isn't successful. He thought, "Why the fuck not. These stories show that these autists won't get any.."

Just as he was about to start his rampage of harsh words and memes, he started to fade into unconsciousness. Not wanting to get his babies, his keyboard and turntable, any drool, he hopped from his seat to the couch nearby. He was confused why he was feeling this way. He tried to fight it, but eventually fell into slumber.

A glimmer of hope filled his heart. Despite being thrown back into the pits of Tartarus, he might get his chance at revenge. With the half of his magic left, he tore open the fabric of space-time and pulled out a mythical creature that even Tartarus wouldn't allow to keep. Many of the myths foretold that these creatures brought death and woe into any world they inhabit. They were created in the image of a psychopathic, yet omniscient being. As the creature lay in front of him, Tirek, himself, couldn't help but quake in fear of this creature. Sure, it was smaller than him, but who knows what he could do.

It looked like a primate version of a griffon. The creature's arms pushed weakly against the floor. Its voice signaled distress as it got up. It was clear that the creature was a male, having no mammary glands of the sort. The clothing he wore looked bulky, having a red sweater that wrapped around its waist, neck and its wrists. His legs had white leather leggings, ending with his shoeless feet that supported him as he stood.

"H-Hello there, human." Tirek greeted him. "We don't have much time. I have a proposition for you." The human groaned in response, feeling the grogginess of his transition from Earth to Tartarus. "I understand you are tired, but please concentrate."

"Ugh...where am...what in the..." The human rubbed his eyes and stared at Tirek. He saw the centaur that stood at least two feet taller than him. "Oh god..." He stared at the beast and his surroundings. He saw this scene before. The way everything looked. It couldn't be true. "I'm in that fucking cartoon!"

"Calm down, human. I don't know what you're babbling about, but I-"

"Hey, buddy. Fuck you! Why am I in a world full of fucking ponies?! I'm not stupid. I read these fucking fanfics of 'ANUN IN EGAYSTIA' bullshit while I was trolling these autists. Why am I here?!" The tantrum on the human made Tirek fearful. He shook, wishing he had the alicorn magic to at least subdue him.

"I bring you here for a proposition! To hurt these ponies!" That made the human stop in his barrage of furious insults. Tirek smiled when the human chuckled.

"Great...what, unlimited wealth beyond my wildest dreams? That sort of cliche faggotry?"

"That...was exactly what I was going to propose. But if that-"

"Sounds good to me. I'm in."

Tirek stayed silent. Had the most feared creature of myth in all of Equestria accepted his proposal? It sounded imaginary, but he was glad. "Excellent. Now, here's the plan..."

"I'm listening."

"There are six ponies. Six that hold the Elements of Harmony. You make them lose faith in love, life, friendship, I don't care...just make them miserable."

"Will I really get this unlimited wealth?"

"Yes. You will get it. If you do a better job, I might be willing to give more, if I have the magic enough to do it."

Tirek saw the human smirk devilishly. The way he pocketed his hands within his sweater and take a small rectangular device out of it. It looked alien to him until he heard a loud noise emit from it. "Just want to document this whole adventure. Thank God I have my iPhone. Wanna show this to my friends. They ain't gonna believe this shit." A loud rumbling noise emitted deep within the sepulchral caverns. The human looked up confused. I shushed him hurriedly.

"Darn it, you have to speak that name here in this hell-hole?! Our time is up because you said that damn name!" Tirek shouted.

"What? God? The fuck are we in: Hell?" The ground shook harder. A giant hand came over the edge of the platform and grabbed the human.

"Charlie, human of Earth. You have no quarrel in this realm of the dead!" A loud, ominous voice boomed before it pelted him through the portal to Equestria.

"Dream of me in order for us to converse!" Tirek managed to shout before the portal closed.

Charlie twisted down a small hill before hitting into the back of a park bench. He groaned in pain. A centaur, a giant hand that threw him out, and now...a park bench. What was the thing that the centaur said: dream of him? Never in a million years, would he have heard a centaur say something like that. He suspected that the beast was a homosexual. But it didn't matter to him, he had to make these ponies miserable. Just make these six ponies' life a living hell and get a lot of money. From the amount of time he browsed /mlp/, he knew who which one was which.

Getting up, he saw a mint colored pony grab his hands. He saw how amazed she was when she inspected him a little more fully. He realized who this pony was. Lyre...no, Lyra. Charlie started to hate himself as he realized that he knew the name of the pony. The species he despised so much. He wasn't going to accept that at all. He got up and snapped his hand back.

"Get away from me, you bitch!" he barked before his hand hurriedly made contact against her face. The blunt force of his knuckles scraped against her cheek and his nails cut her lower eyelids. She gasped and stared at him with a look of terror on her face. "Shut up and listen. I fucking hate you and the rest of you little ponies. But I have no place to go. So I want you to take me to your house, where I'll crash until I'm done being in this place, okay?"

The word 'hate' stung at Lyra's heart. Tears streamed down her face, realizing the first human she ever met was only going to be using her for his own personal gain. Her fantasies of falling in love with these bipedal creatures slipped far out of her reach. She went up to him and held his hands.

"I-I didn't do anything wrong...please, give me a chance. I at least want to be friends!" She pleaded. The glare that he held to her got her to shut up. But the tears wouldn't stop coming.

"I know you. You're a pony that loves humans, right?" Lyra nodded, smiling at the fact that the human she's holding knows her. "Well, you love humans, but I hate ponies. I will never love you. I'm not some fucking autistic brony that will marry you on the spot." She gasped and continued to hold his hand. She desperately hoped that this was some sort of cruel prank. He slapped her hooves repeatedly, each hit stinging her until she let go of his hand.

"What did I do to make you hate me...?" She sobbed, looking up at him. Ugh, the look was sickening to him. He wanted to pummel that face of hers. He knelt down to her and smirked.

"You aren't real to me, back where I'm from. I could care less about the consequences here. Not like anything will happen to me." He looked up to see some ponies coming into the park. Looking around, he saw that there was the park bench that he hit. Behind that was a fountain that sprayed fresh water. He picked her up and shushed her when she whimpered.

"P-P-Please...don't hu-"

"Shhh, the manticore is gone now." He spoke to her. Some of the ponies gasped and ran over to them. "It's gone now. I'll take you home and get you back up on your feet." The ponies nearby who came in and saw the scene swooned at how attentive he was to their friend. Both stallion and mare stared at him with dreamy looks.

Lyra wanted to scream. To expose the lies the human was spewing. But she was afraid of the consequences. Anything could happen to her. She accepted her fate and told him where the go. The village was spacious. Noting the rural landscape of the village, Charlie sulked. He was more used to the urban landscape, where everything was near.

Kicking open the door to her house, he placed her on the couch and closed the door, making sure it was locked. He pushed her off the couch and reclined on the soft seat. "Alright...let's see what's on the...oh no..." He checked his iPhone and saw that he didn't have any connection to the internet. He had no way of browsing through the internet to see what ideas he could get to hurt these six ponies. Shrugging, he remembered the thing he said about documentation and took a picture of the forlorn Lyra that sobbed on the floor.

He stopped. He had an epiphany. He scrolled through his photos, seeing the amount of memes, reaction pictures, and porn that he saved over the months of having his cellular device. He stopped when he saw several charts that were labeled 'doing hurtful things to your waifu'. He inspected them, seeing the look of sorrow and desperation on their faces. Charlie won't be proud. He wouldn't even dream of dating a pony. But it would so be worth it to see these faces actually happen.

Chapter 1 - Meeting of the Six

"Ahh, you're back." Tirek grinned when Charlie appeared in front of him in an instant. He continued to glare at the environment and, more so, toward the centaur in question.

"Cut to the chase. I need to be subtle. Take a look at this." Charlie turned on his phone and presented him the charts that he saved on his phone. Although Tirek was dumbfounded at the technology showing him the charts, he was, nonetheless, glad at the sight of the charts. "I plan on doing this to each of those six ponies. To...date...each of them, get close to them, and subtly break away from them before revealing my true intentions."

Tirek looked at him dumbfounded. In all honesty, it was the most idiotic plan in existence. But maybe the human was attempting at a subterfuge. Charging headfirst would be a dumb move, in itself. Nodding at the plan, he agreed with it. "So, what do you need of me? Remember that I am limited in mana to cast any magic."

"Damn, this place is really keeping you down like this? Well, when I'm done hurting them, I was hoping you can cast a forget spell. No one except the pony I hurt knows that I've done wrong to that one. So when, oh I don't know, Rainbow Dash, gets hurt, everyone forgets and when she tries to tell everyone, they won't believe her. If pressed too much, the ponies might make her an outcast."

Tirek really couldn't believe what he was hearing. It sounded better and better as he started to hear more on it. He rubbed his hands and started cackling. "Ahh, I wish I would be able to see it. 'Tis a shame. But I have enough mana to do that spell."

"Good. Speaking of Rainbow Dash, I think she'll be first. That brash bitch needs to be taught a lesson. Fuckin' hate her." Charlie chuckled a little bit. He felt a little awake and smiled. "Well, I'll see ya later. Chow."

"Farewell."

Waking up, Charlie grumbled a little as he woke up. He was sure that the centaur wasn't a homosexual, but didn't realize the implications of his request. He got up and saw Lyra curled in the corner, tears and blood staining her cheeks and fore-hooves. He shrugged and looked out the window. He was sure he saw the sun up in the sky when he was sleeping, but the sun was rising up in the distance at the moment. He looked down at his iPhone and saw that a tiny insignificant chunk of battery power was lost.

His lips pursed and he shut the device off. It would be useless to him if his iPhone didn't have any power left. He wanted to make sure to take pictures of his adventures, the ponies, and his victims. He looked back at Lyra, who was waking up shakily. Their eyes met and, for a moment, she was lost in them. Those calm, blue eyes in that tall muscular body, but with a mind on the path of devastation towards her fellow ponies.

"Y-You never gave me a name..." she rasped weakly. "Can I...at least...know your name?" She was afraid that her little request would make him outraged. But he just stared back and opened the door.

"I'm Charlie." He answered as he walked out. "Don't you try anything funny. I'll know when I see or hear about it." He shut the door and decided to take a gander around the town.

It was too girly and colorful for his tastes. He shielded his eyes from the abnormal rising of the sun. The brightness and the contrast was too much for his eyes. He bumped into a tree and cursed a little under his breath, but he continued onward. His eyes slowly let him see, finally. Opening his eyes, he saw that he was at an official looking building. Out of all the houses, which looked so much like the ones he saw when he visited a renaissance fair, this one looked like a carousel that he could ride.

He was willing to bet that if he were to hop on a pony right now, he would ask it to go around the building a few times. It was that redundant. He saw some ponies walk out and go about their day. Reminiscing on his dream, he realized that he would have to put on a social mask to hide his animosity toward these equines. He grumbled a little before putting on a smile to the nearest one, a white marshmallow pony with a purple mane that looks as if she spent hours using hair cement to style her mane in a giant curl.

"What in the hot mess of fresh fuck am I looking at? Oh wait, it's that stuck up bitch. Maybe I should ask her where the rainbow fuck is..." His thoughts spoke in his mind. He stood up and forced a smile as he walked up to her.

"Hi, darling! Aren't you the one that saved Lyra from a manticore? Some ponies said you comforted her after fending off the beast." That voice. Sweet baby Jesus, it was much worse than he expected it to hear. He could hear the snobbish tone of voice she used. He hated himself for a moment for browsing /mlp/.

"Yeah, it was me. Poor girl was all scratched up. What was I supposed to do?" He said, looking a bit forlorn. God, this acting was going to be tougher than expected. He was no actor, but a DJ. His way of entertainment was through his musicality.

"What's wrong? You look horrible."

"Well..." He had to think of something. He let the mask drop and now he's questioned on the spot. Thinking of something quick, he stammered. "I-I miss...I miss home...yeah, my home."

"You aren't from the Everfree Forest? Some ponies thought you came from that dastardly wasteland." He wanted to facepalm. A forest being a wasteland? It was a simple forest. Nothing looked abnormal about it.

As he was about to answer, a rainbow trail, along with a fast whoosh, was seen above her head. He followed the rainbow trail and watched as it landed a bit away from them. It was then that Charlie found his first target. He knew this mare anywhere. The dyke-looking haircut that matched her tail, all in a rainbow color. Her cyan fur that was blasted back from all the air that blew through her.

"Hey! Aren't you the one that saved Lyra?" Fucking hell, he couldn't fathom the amount of restraint he had to keep himself in check. He nodded and she smiled. "That was awesome, from what I heard. How'd you take them down? They must've been really hard to beat."

"It was a tad difficult. But I managed to do it." He mumbled a bit. He didn't even know what it looked like. He assumed that with the ponies being smaller than him, the hostile creatures like the manticore could be at about his height. Rainbow's eyes widened and threw a hoof in the air.

"That is so awesome! They usually get angry when I hit them." Gee, I wonder why?, thought Charlie. "But anyway, I'm Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet ya!"

"I'm...Charlie..." He forced a gritted smile.

"You should meet some of my friends. I'm sure Pinkie Pie would love to throw you a su-"

"SURPRISE!"

A loud booming noise, followed by confetti flew all over him. He ducked, thinking he was going to die. He felt arms wrap around him tightly and he was picked up. He was lucky to have an arm out of its grasp. He wiped the confetti that stuck to his face and stared into eyes that mirrored the sky. The owner of those eyes was none other than Pinkie Pie, much to his chagrin.

"Great, fucking great. I was hoping to avoid this bitch..." Charlie thought. He groaned a little bit, feeling a little sick from the songs and moving around that Pinkie Pie did.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie and I heard you saved my friend from a mean ol' manticore and I wanted to give you a surprise hero's party for saving her by making you a special cupcake of my secret recipe which has-" He was slowly feeling his stomach protest at the crushing hug and swinging around.

"Pinkie Pie, he doesn't look too good. You might want to stop that before-" Rarity's warning was too late. Charlie upchucked, almost hitting the party pony in front of him. She almost dropped him in the pile of vomit, but Rainbow Dash had the decency to pull him away from it. Charlie was struggling more than ever to keep himself from attacking Pinkie Pie. All the inhumane thoughts passed through his head, strangling her neck to smothering her in cake batter. He pushed himself to get behind Rainbow Dash and glared at her once he was safe.

"Hey, Charlie, don't be afraid. I know she-"

"I ALMOST DIED!" He shrilled. Pinkie Pie's face contorted in a sad expression. "HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST, I HAVE NEVER FEARED FOR MY LIFE UNTIL TODAY!" Her hair made the noise of a balloon popping and went straight down.

"I understand that was unwanted for, but she didn't mean no harm! Calm yourself!" Rarity tried to soothe him. But he wouldn't hear any of it. Just as he was about to lash out with a great string of insults, he felt a hoof on his back, rubbing a little softly on his spine. He perked up and looked behind him, seeing the buttery pink pegasus.

"Shh, it's okay. Pinkie Pie didn't mean to do that." Her voice was more soothing and calm to him, almost motherly. He calmed down slightly. His breathing became more softer.

"Whoa, Fluttershy, I didn't know you could calm something like that!" That inquisitive tone of voice could only belong to Twilight Sparkle, he surmised. Looking up, he saw the regal crown that she wore. He remembered the bronies on /mlp/ talking about her being an alicorn, or whatever he read.

He felt like things were moving a bit too fast for him. He met almost all of them. That left just one pony left. As he was about to ask, he felt his stomach grumble a little bit. He sat down and rubbed his stomach, wishing he'd at least ate something. An apple was thrown on his lap. He looked up as he held it in his hand, seeing the farmer pony, Applejack. It seemed too coincidental that they were coming together like this.

He saw how they interacted. They managed to calm down the pink annoying pony, telling her that she shouldn't have done that, but also soothing her down, saying it wasn't her fault nor his. They didn't know that he would react to such rapid movements that they were used to. Her hair poofed back up and she started beaming back to her regular self. She walked up to him and gave him a chocolate frosted cupcake. Looking up, he forced his fake smile once again and looked down at the meager meal that he had.

"Thanks...I felt hungry." He spoke before he munched down on the food he was given. The crunch of the apple resulted in the tasty meat of the fruit. The skin would get stuck in his throat, so eating the muffin would make it go down easier. The cupcake, to him, was heavenly.

"Where are ya from, stranger?"  Applejack asked, sitting next to him.

"Charlie came from the Everfree, from what I've heard." Rarity spoke. He grunted a little bit, not wanting the prissy pony to speak for him.

"I came from another universe, I suppose." This fact caused the ponies to gasp and wonder in amazement. "I don't know exactly how I got here, though." He spoke the truth, too. Tirek himself just pulled him in to his universe through unknown means and he has no way of getting back. He's convinced that this is all an elaborate dream that his mind made up from all the time he's trolled other people. As if this was a way of redemption for himself, in which he thought was bullshit. He was fine with doing what he was doing, just as long as he can wake up or Tirek sends him back.

"Probably some strong magic?" Twilight inquired. Charlie shrugged and finished his lunch.

"Well, to be blunt, I have no fuckin' idea." He received glares from the ponies around. He guessed that they didn't take to kindly to profanity. Oh lord, I ain't havin' none of that noise. "I'm sorry, but it's true! I was doin' some important stuff 'til I got sucked in here. What do you expect from me: 'oh, don't worry, you'll fit in just fine!'" he pantomimed Twilight Sparkle, almost sounding like her, which made her flinch a bit.

"You really seem off yer rocker, but ah could understand. Don't know where ya from, but ah really do hope that you can fit in as best as you could." Applejack responded quite well to his outburst.

"Yeah...and...I'm...so...s..." Charlie couldn't manage to say sorry to the pink pony. But she smiled and nodded.

"None taken." Charlie raised an eyebrow at that. "I'll be sure not to do that kind of thing again."

"Ooh, heavens, look at the time. Fluttershy and I must be going. We must be off to the spa!" Rarity looked back as she trotted with Fluttershy. "Keep in contact with us, Charlie. We'll try our best to help you fit in!" Fluttershy smiled bashfully and waved goodbye as she and Rarity cantered away.

"Ah gotta get to sellin' some apples. Ah'll see ya 'round, Charlie." She tipped her hat and pulled her cart along toward the market district of the village.

Each of them said their goodbyes to him, until he was alone with Rainbow Dash. She could see that he got nothing to do and, truth be told, she seemed to be in a competitive mood. "Hey, Char, ya mind for some action? I'm off work for the week so we could...you know..."

"No, I don't know." He grunted a little. "You mean like..." His mind started to wander far off into nsfw category.

"Ooh! I wanna see how fast you are!"

Charlie slapped himself in order to get the lewd thought of his head. This was REALLY going to be harder than he thought.

Rainbow Dash (Pt. 1)

Sweat dripped from Charlie's face and arms. Every part of his body ached so bad he thought he was on fire. Forcing himself to lean against a fence, he saw the rainbow mare in front of him, glaring daggers into her. The both of them panted heavily from running from the town square to Sweet Apple Acres. It was a simple race that Rainbow Dash asked for, no flying permitted; which he thought was pretty redundant for her to say to him.

"Keep calm, Charlie. Just stick to the plan." He thought to himself before putting on the fake shit-eating grin. "Alright, Rainbow, you win. Whew! Oof! *cough* You're pretty fast."

"Yeah...you...did pretty good yourself..." She stammered a bit. Charlie could see that she was restraining herself from saying something. "...for a two legged creature, anyway. Hehe..."

"Yeah, well, you have four legs. Of course you'll be fast...holy shit..." Charlie wheezed and fell on his knees. His lungs were still in overdrive. "I apologize...for the...*cough cough* profanity."

"Don't sweat it. Hey, even though you weren't as fast, you worked yourself pretty hard. That's pretty impressive." Rainbow Dash started to become optimistic in viewing Charlie in that light. "We're at the farm, so I'll see about getting us some apple cider." She flew toward the barn, leaving him by his lonesome.

In just under a day, he managed to get in without any problems, beside Lyra. He had to thank that centaur, at the very least. His magic will work wonders if it works from Pony Hell to where he is. He just hoped that he was reliable enough when he does his job. He began to think on how to get inside Rainbow's mind. She's athletic and loves to challenge anyone to prove her superior abilities. She's also brash and has average intelligence for one who loves to work her body. She loves attention, but not smothering attention, from what he gathered on his time trolling /mlp/. All he had to do was appeal to her athletics and work out with her, maybe a challenge or two.

"I needed to get into shape, anyway." He muttered to himself. Looking up, he saw Rainbow Dash come back with two bottles of freshly made apple cider. Clinking their bottles together, they took a swig of their drinks. Charlie's eyes opened wide and he gulped, staring at the drink in amazement. He put his lips back on the bottle and drank it down, savoring the taste, yet wanting more. "Oh sweet God, this is the most delicious drink I've ever had in my life."

"That's the Apple family for ya. They make the best apple stuff. You have to ask her for that, though." She sheepishly said. Charlie snorted and chuckled.

"Well, be that as it may be, I'm getting pretty hungry." He got up shakily, almost prompting Rainbow Dash to be beside him when he almost fell over. "I'm guessing you guys don't have any meat in your diets?"

"No, but...there's a place that sells food to carnivores like you. C'mon, I'll show you." Rainbow zoomed toward Ponyville. Sulking internally, Charlie decided to jog his way toward the village. His muscles ached, but the hunger pangs needed to go. He jogged into town and followed the rainbow trail that was left behind. After a good few minutes, he finally reached the restaurant, where Rainbow Dash was waiting.

After some bragging from Rainbow Dash, the two found seats in the outdoor patio section and looked through the menu. There were many orders to choose from, especially for the carnivorous species. Rainbow Dash eyed the dish called the Garden Deluxe, which had a mix of lettuce, tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms and some rotelle pasta with a choice of dressing. Charlie, on the other hand, eyed a dish of chicken parmesan on top of a pile of spinach drizzled with melted cheeses. He thought that it looked confusing, since it was an meal for a carnivore, yet had some herbivore foods on it. He guessed that it must be some weird thing they're trying.

After ordering their dishes and drinks, the two had a bit of small talk.

"So, where ya from, anyway?"Rainbow Dash asked.

"Don't know. I was told that I was a mythical creature that supposedly existed years ago, though." Charlie reclined in his chair and thought a bit. Should he tell her? Bah, doesn't matter to him. "But, exactly, I'm from a place called Earth. I'm pretty sure something here just whisked me away to this land where multicolored pastel ponies live."

"Something here, huh? Well, lots of weird things happen. Eggheads like Twilight can do a lot of things, so it'd be no surprise if some pony like her pulled you from the dead ends of the world."

"I don't think you realize what I'm saying. I came from another world. Magic just pulled me in and here I am." He saw the look on Rainbow Dash's face raise in jubilation.

"Whoa! You're an alien, then!" She got up off her seat and went close to his face.

"No, that's not what I'm-"

"At least you aren't trying to probe our flanks with whatever you guys use. That's just weird."

"I'm not an alien!" Charlie rose from his seat. The ponies were startled by his outburst and looked at the two.

"But you're from another world, right? That means alien!" Rainbow Dash was set on her conclusion. There would be no way convincing her that he's not. The waiter came by with their dishes and set them on the table while the two locked eyes on each other. Rainbow Dash smiled when Charlie didn't have anything to say, and sat back down. "I told ya."

Sitting back down, Charlie ate his meal in silence while Rainbow Dash stuffed her face, literally. He thought she was a bit of a rascal for doing that. He looked to see some ponies eating like that while unicorns just floated bits and pieces of their food in their mouths. He shrugged and continued to eat his meal. He was glad that they had forks for him to use.

But man, how he wanted to stab this jockey so badly.

Rainbow Dash (Pt. 2)

"Lyra, that's just silly. I mean, just listen to yourself! Sure, he's an alien of some sorts, but for him to hurt you? I don't see it." Bon-Bon couldn't believe what Lyra was telling her. For her to say that Charlie hit her the moment he arrived sounded near heretical. "He wouldn't hurt a parasprite. Just look at him!" She pointed her hoof toward him and Rainbow Dash, who were panting on the plains after a game of tag. They smiled and he fistbumped Rainbow's hoof.

"But that's just it! You don't see it. He hurts me and he's going to hurt every pony else! Why don't you believe me, Lyra?" Lyra was choking back tears. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes and giggled.

"It's been a month since he came. You think he would've done something by now if he's that evil. No one has that kind of patience to be evil. Just think of-" Lyra shut her out as Bon-Bon went on with her rambling. She eyed Charlie and snorted in fear and anger. She was thinking to do the unthinkable.

Rainbow Dash got up and looked up at Charlie, seeing his face and body shine in the sun. The sweat dripping from his body from a strenuous session of tag. She may be fast, but he's learned to be agile and slick. He would roll to the side, fall on the ground, or jump over her when she simply galloped toward him. It was tiring, but fun. They forgot who won, but that didn't matter to her. She looked deep in his eyes. He looked back and he chuckled a little bit. Sweet Celestia, his voice, his personality, she's glad that he stuck with her. He may hang out with the rest of her friends, but she was the one who he hung out with the most. Maybe because when he first came, he looked a bit on the chubby side. Now he's got a nice lean body from all the exercising, the games they've played, and the job that he's gotten at Applejack's farm. A month was all it took for Rainbow Dash to fall for this random creature.

Charlie smiled and got up. Stretching his arms, he felt his muscles ache and burn slightly from the activity. A sigh of relief came from his lips and he opened his eyes after that stretch. Rainbow Dash was really close to his face. He had a confused and a slight uncomfortable face became apparent. "Uhh, yo, Rainbow Dash. Anybody home?" He waved his hand in front of her face and she blinked, shaking her head and looked at him again.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. A lot of things on my mind." She rubbed the back of her head with a nervous hoof.

'You're damn right. You want to fuck me, I know you want to.', Charlie thought as his plan was finally coming to fruition. It took all this damn time and he could finally see it in her eyes. The want in her eyes, the lust in her...body language, he guess. He smirked and cheered internally. But he quickly shook his head and smiled. "What's on your mind, Dashie?" Her blush was really showing now. Only Pinkie would call her that and this was the first time he used that nickname. It was a nice ring for him to call her that. She trotted closer to him and her face was close to his. Their lips were only inches away...centimeters...

"Lyra! Wait, what are you doing?!" A shriek came from Bon-Bon's lips from a distance. Charlie perked up and saw Lyra charging right at him with her horn pointed toward him. Rainbow Dash saw this a bit too late, but saw Charlie jump out of the way with ease.

'Oh, this bitch tryin' to play rough now.' Charlie thought as he jumped again from Lyra's wrath. She may have been a grown pony, or horse since Charlie doesn't care, but damn, she was slow.

"Rainbow Dash, please get out of here! He's trying to hurt you!" She shrieked, shooting bolts of magic toward Charlie. He dove out of the way, but still got hit with a few jolts. They sent waves of shocks into his body and he convulsed a bit on the ground, rendering him immobile. Lyra galloped for him and jumped in the air, about to pounce him.

Rainbow Dash stopped her, though, and they both rolled along the ground. To say Rainbow Dash was fuming would be an understatement. She retaliated with a few jabs to Lyra's body. "Don't you fuckin' touch him!" She growled through gritted teeth. The nearby ponies had a hard time pulling her off of the seafoam pony. "You son of a- what's your problem?! Huh? Why did you attack him out of nowhere?!"

"He's planning on hurting all of us! There was no manticore, he was the one that hurt me!" She shouted back, tears welling in her eyes. She looked to see Charlie on the ground, twitching, but unconscious from the pain he received. Rainbow Dash rushed toward him and nudged him. She sniffed a little. How could any pony do this to a creature like him? Even when he's the last of his kind, in this world.

"Sorry, ma'am, but you're going straight to a psychiatric ward." One of the guardspony held her with his magic, dispelling her from using any magic and restraining her. "Assault on an unknown species and shouting accusations. I hope you learn something while you're there."

As Lyra shouted obscenities and prayed for some pony to believe her, Rainbow Dash nuzzled Charlie. "Hey, wake up. Please, tell me you aren't dead."

'No, you dumb bitch, let me take my nap.'

Charlie woke up in Lyra's house, having a blanket over his body and a moist towel on his forehead. He got up, feeling well rested after almost getting attacked. 'Hope that bitch is in prison. No, I actually want to find her and fuck her up!', his little thought fueled his anger and he threw the blanket away and got up on his feet. Walking out of the bedroom, he walked downstairs to see Rainbow Dash waking up from her slumber, crashing from the couch to the floor.

"Whoa, Charlie, up already?"

"I'm gonna find that bitch and..." Charlie was angry and he threw one of the chairs, breaking it apart.

"Charlie, calm down, man! They sent her to the nut house so she'll be there for a while. She'll learn her lesson." She tried to calm him down. But he was visibly shaking. He was trying to move her out of the way, the need to beat her was taxing on his mind. She couldn't stand to see him like this. She had to do something. SOMETHING!

"Mmmph?!"

A kiss to hopefully calm him down. Embarrassed, he looked in her eyes questioningly as she wrapped her hooves around him. He gently pushed her away and looked in her eyes. There, he could now see it. She wanted him. Needed him. The plan was coming into fruition.

Days turned into weeks as they spent their times with each other. Rainbow Dash impressed him with her aerial skills and he continued to develop a more toned and muscular body. Pinkie would continually throw parties about them. A 'Finally You're Together' party, 'One Week Anniversary' was something that made Charlie's respect for Pinkie Pie go low.

"You're next, Pinkie Pussy." He thought angrily.