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Chapter One: Rarity, Derpy's Stuck in the Mailbox Again!
'Derpy' flew towards the next house, albeit clumsily, occasionally crashing into something. So far, no one is suspicious. Either I'm really good at this acting thing, or these ponies are just really stupid. , she thought. She giggled a little at that. Next letter... Twilight Sparkle, Golden Oaks Library. Wait, what?! Princess Twilight lives here?! That means the other elements are probably here too. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
"Hi, Derpy!" Whose voice was that?
"Ah! Pinkie Pie! You startled me! How did you get up here?" Pinkie giggled.
"You're only three feet up. It isn't really too hard to get up here."
"Oh. Hehe." 'Derpy' blushed. Roughly five seconds later, she crashed into a window, and managed to fly through it by opening it with her flailing.
"Ow ! Oh, hi Derpy." 'Derpy' hopped off of her and bowed.
"Hello, Princess Twilight. I have your mail." 'Derpy' pulled out the letter. "There's no return address, so I don't know who it's from."
"Thank you, Derpy. Also, there's no need for formalities. You don't have to bow, and you can just call me Twilight." Twilight took the letter. While reading, she went through a number of expressions, including a rage face, depression face, duck face, and a very, very, very deep blush.
"Twilight, why are you blushing?", 'Derpy' asked. Despite not seeming possible, Twilight blushed harder, looking like she went apple-bobbing in paint.
"O-oh, j-just a l-letter f-from... someone. A-anyway, aren't you supposed t-to be doing something important? Like delivering m-mail?" 'Derpy' giggled.
"Probably. We'll talk about this again, Twilight. Anyway, bye." Derpy flew out, occasionally crashing into a bookcase.
"Pinkie must throw a party! She is excited that Twilight has a crush. Pinkie must go make the plans! Yes." Twilight sighed.Pinkie recently learned about YouTube. I get that. And she watched the entire 'Rainbow Dash Presents' series, so now she talks with a Swedish accent. I get that, too. But she forces Spike to sound Scottish. I don't get that.
"So, what was all that about, then?", Spike asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Derpy continued on her route, being a klutz to emphasize the point. "Last package... Rarity, Carousal Boutique." She flew towards the renowned fashion store, and once she got there, she somehow managed to get trapped.
"Rarity, Derpy's stuck in the mailbox again!" Sweetie Belle started pulling on the legs of the very confused victim of the horror that was a slightly rusty mailbox door. There was a muffled 'I just don't know what went wrong!' that came from the mailbox.
"Sweetie Belle, how is it possible that she always manages to do that? Hang on, I'm coming out." The purple haired fashionista emerged from the building. Her cat, Opalescence, with her usual superior look, stayed in her cat bed, knowing they probably wouldn't need her to help.
"I don't know, Rarity."
"Well, in any case, if she's here, she has mail." They heard a muffled 'Meowth, that's right!*' from inside the mailbox.
'Derpy' popped out of the mailbox a little later. "Here's a package from some fabric company."
"A-a-a... package?!"
"Yes, and it's kind of heavy." Rarity swooned and fainted. Sweetie Belle and 'Derpy' leaned over her, looked at her, looked at each other, then shrugged. "Well, that escalated quickly." Sweetie Belle gave her a 'WTF' look, then ran off towards the CMC clubhouse. 'Derpy' looked at her watch. She realized she had a slumber party to go to in five minutes. Give or take a few hours because she didn't own a watch.
Chapter Two: Luna, MH3:U Champion
'Derpy' rushed over to Fluttershy's cottage, where the slumber party was being held. "Dang it! I'm going to be late!"
"Hello, Derpy Hooves. I hope you're excited about the party later," Octavia said, seemingly popping out of nowhere. "But, two things. You're two hours late, and Fluttershy's cottage is in the other direction. They sent me to find you." 'Derpy' shuffled her hooves sheepishly.
"Oh."
"Well come on! Luna wants to play video games. Discord and Daring Do also agreed to play them. Would you like to play her mystery game?" Octavia didn't really need to ask. She knew that Derpy would say-
"Yes !"
Wait, what? , Octavia thought. Usually, for more opportunities to raid the fridge, she says no. Something isn't right here... "Hmm... Okay... Let's go then." Octavia kept glancing at 'Derpy.' She knew something was wrong, but what? Uggh! Maybe someone at the party could be tricked into helping me figure this out. They continued walking for quite a while. "So... Derpy?"
"Hmm? Yeah?" 'Derpy' looked at Octavia (with her left eye).
"Just being nosy old me, but how is the relationship with Doctor Whooves going?" Octavia smirked. She knew it probably wouldn't do anything to tip her off of the 'Fence of Suspicions'*, but she actually was quite curious. From what she'd heard, Derpy had had a crush on him for ages, and Tavi just felt like bringing it up.
"Um... Who is Doctor Whooves again?" Octavia blinked. She was confused, and had a 'Welcome To Facebook'** expression. 'Derpy' was panicking, as she didn't want to get found out on the first day of the job. "Ohheylookwe'rehere!" 'Derpy' zoomed towards Fluttershy's cottage at a speed that even Rainbow Dash would envy.
"Now what the hay was that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nice you to finally join us. Care for some chocolate milk?", Fluttershy said in a slightly forced voice. Discord summoned a cotton candy cloud above 'Derpy's' head, and chocolate milk rain started coming out. 'Derpy' swiped Discord's wacky umbrella and started to collect the rain with it. She ate the cloud when she was done. Drinking from the umbrella, she sighed in happiness.
"Not as good as muffins, but still very good." Discord just stared in awe. She stole his umbrella, ate a (cotton candy) cloud, and drank chocolate milk rain from said umbrella.
"Um, guys? I'd appreciate it if you acknowledged my existence sometime soon"*** Octavia was leaning against the door frame, with a look that said she'd been there for a while. "Derpy, Applejack is making apple cider muffins. Like the donuts, but better. They come in regular and hard, though you of all ponies probably shouldn't have any hard ones."
"Yeah, hard ones aren't very good. Too hard to chew," 'Derpy innocently replied. Octavia facehoofed. "Ooooh! Now I get it."
"Derpy, you derp so hard sometimes," Octavia giggled.
"Hahaha, hard ."
"Aren't you supposed to be baking muffins with AJ?"
"Oh, right. Later, gator!" Octavia frowned.
What is that mare up to? She had two major slip ups earlier. Derpy suddenly likes video games and completely forgot about who Doctor Whooves is. Not to mention, she just * stole Discord's umbrella*! Something is up. There's no denying it now. I just need some hard proof, so I can get Twilight involved. I just hope that I'm not wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours later, 'Derpy', Discord, Luna, and Daring Do were sitting down on the couch, each with a plate of muffins with both kinds (except 'Derpy'), and a Nintendo 3DS with a 'Monster Hunter 3: Ultimate' cartridge in it. They were all in freehunt, and the one who managed to get the most resource points was the winner. Discord started to get a little angry. "Aggh! Stupid Purple Ludroth! Why do you have to go in the water?!" Everyone else giggled. "Oh, shut up!" Everyone laughed harder. "Finally, he dies. I give!"
"Yeah, me too. No big monsters left," 'Derpy' said.
"Done," said Daring Do. Everyone stared at Luna for the next five minutes.
"Done!" The others replied with hatred.
"Finally!" Discord had a look of pure hatred.
"Gee, do you really suck that bad?" Luna looked like she was about to cry at Daring Do's comment.
"Want a muffin?" Luna smiled and nodded. 'Derpy' handed her a fresh one from the new batch Applejack had just brought out. "Scoring time!"
"398," Discord said grumpily.
"732," Daring Do boasted.
"964," 'Derpy' exclaimed proudly.
"Huzzah! The score has been quintupled! 4820!" Everyone stared with open-mouth awe. "What?"
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Chapter Three: Discord, What Did You Do to Fluttershy?
After the fiasco with the quintupling and junk, 'Derpy' randomly said, "Hey, guys. There's a horror movie marathon tonight. You up for it?
"Yes ," exclaimed everyone, except for Fluttershy and Octavia.
"Eep!"
"Hmm. I suppose we could watch it." Octavia wasn't nearly as calm as she sounded. Oh my gosh! Horror movies are awesome. My favorites have to be the classics, like the original 'Frankenstein' and 'Night of the Living Dead.' To be honest, it's possible I like them more than Vinyl does. Now that I think about it, where is she? She was invited.
Hilariously enough, almost every movie shown was an old, well-made classic. Octavia was thrilled. After the marathon was finished, Fluttershy was curled up in a corner far away from the TV, but everyone else seemed to be in a super mood. "Now, what in tarnation wash that pony ramblin' on about makin' life for? Ah mean, sure, it might be cool to create a shlave from a few shpare corpshe partsh and a stolen brain, but that guy wash jusht loony." Applejack gave a huff and ate her ninty-seventh hard cider muffin, obviously drunk by now from it.
"Applejack, go to sleep. You're drunk." Discord laughed at how peculiar it sounded to hear that sentence come out of Fluttershy.
"But ah thought we were gonna have shome karaoke."
"I'll sing with you!"
"Well then Derpy, letsh pick out a shong." After much contemplation, they chose to sing* Find the Music in You by the Ponytones. AJ fell asleep onstage.
"Well, that was random. Off to bed now. Good night," 'Derpy' said, flying to her designated sleeping bag.
Octavia noticed her eyes then.They were underped. She pulled out a camera and took a picture of it. I have you now, faker.
"Whoo! Party hardy!" Octavia looked at Fluttershy after that outburst and saw she was breakdancing to dubstep, and had a slight grayish tint.
"Discord, what did you do to Fluttershy?"
Chapter Four: Hilarity Ensues
'Derpy' hadn't been having a very good day.
She almost had to marry Coltdemort.*
Tom the Rock knocked a hive of wasps onto her head.*
Princess Trollestia 'accidentally' ran her over with a Tank.*
At least she had some mail to deliver to take her mind off of it."Last letter, Doctor Whooves. Isn't that the guy Tavi was talking about? This is going to be fun. Wait, need the address."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor Whooves was madly in love with Derpy.
She was clumsy, and not exactly Twilight Sparkle when it came to brains, but he loved her just the same. That was why he was happy to see the wall-eyed mailmare walk in, even if it was just to give him mail. "Hello, Derpy. Got any mail for me?"
'Derpy' stood there, dumbfounded, for a minute while her brain took him in. Wow. This guy has a lot of love towards Derpy. He must, because I can't think of any other reason my heart would start pounding like this. Derpy unknowingly blushed.
"Umm... Derpy?" 'Derpy' shook her head like a wet dog.
"Oh! Um, here's your mail, Doctor." She handed him a letter. It was wrapped up fancily and smelled like perfume. Even 'Derpy' could tell it was a love letter. She got a stomachache. Uggh. This feeling hurts. I must be allergic to perfume. Yeah, that's it. Doctor Whooves smirked at the expression on 'Derpy's' face. At first she looked angry, then pained, then her face twisted up so much in a confusing jumble of emotions that she looked like a constipated Howler Monkey. He giggled a little, then opened the letter. His reactions were similar to those of Twilight, but instead of the tomato face at the end, he looked angry, sad, and betrayed. 'Derpy' materialized a carrot muffin. "Eh," she nibbled on the muffin. "What's up, doc?" He couldn't help but laugh a little a this.
"Nothing you need to worry about." Doctor Whooves looked at 'Derpy' and was a little weirded out. "Dear God, Derpy, have you shrunk?"
"Until I get really old, I don't think that that's possible."
"You just seem... smaller." 'Derpy' tilted her head in confusion, and quietly grunted in frustration.
Damnit, I got the size wrong! "Oh, that. I... lost... weight?" Doctor Whooves's laughed.
"Must be that constant diet of muffins. Speaking of which..." Doctor Whooves walked away for a few seconds, and then came back, with a basket of chocolate chip muffins.* 'Derpy' made an anime-style fangirl face.
"Oh my gosh! My favorite! How did you know?" Doctor Hooves handed her the basket. It had a pretty brown, grey, and yellow bow, which he had on there for symbolic reasons. As she dug in, he couldn't help but notice the strange way she was eating. More like a dog than a pegasus. It was... cute.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight stared at Octavia. "The only beings I know of that can successfully disguise themselves as ponies would be changelings. Why would you want to know, Octavia?" Octavia's response unnerved Twilight a little, mostly because of her face.
"Because I know that that thing is not Derpy. It doesn't act like her, it doesn't know who Doctor Whooves is, and look at this!" Octavia showed Twilight the picture of normal-eyed 'Derpy' flying around gracefully. Twilight wondered whether to believe her or not.
"I may need more evidence. However, if you are right, then there are still changelings in Equestria. That could be potentially dangerous. Therefore, I shall take your completely insane theory into consideration for now. Just get more proof." Octavia saluted her.
"Ma'am, yes ma'am! I will do that now." Octavia walked to the door.
"And one other thing!" Octavia turned her head. "The best proof would be to find the real Derpy." Octavia grinned.
Then that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Chapter Six: Octavia the Conniving
"Last delivery of the day!" 'Derpy' still had her hair fancied up. The last package was for Doctor Whooves. He hadn't actually gotten any mail, so she made something herself, so she would have an excuse to go there. As she neared the house, she pulled out the package. This is it. I can't believe I would be the first changeling to ask someone one because they were in love instead of wanting love. I feel nervous though. What if he says no? Grr... Need to think positive. You know what happens when you don't. She crashed into something. "Ow..."
"Ah! Are you okay? I was going out to town to do some shopping, and I crashed into you and... I'm so sorry, Derpy!" 'Derpy' giggled.
"Doctor, it's okay . I'm fine. Nothing was broken." This seemed to calm him down. "Oh! I have mail for you."
"Do you know who it's from?" He knew she usually just said who it was from, but she also just handed him the mail.
"Yeah. It's from me." At this, she blushed. She handed him the package. There was nothing too fancy in it, just her letter to him and a green tie. Doctor Whooves opened the package. He pulled out the tie and mumbled giddily to himself about it being a collector's item. Then came the letter. 'Derpy' held her breath. Here we go... He mumble-read it to himself, his blush getting redder by the second. He looked up, face practically a pomegranate.
"Really? I... you have no idea how happy I am to hear- well, read- this. I... I-I love you, too." 'Derpy' gave him a childish grin.
"Is this one of those mushy fanfiction-type moments where we end up kissing?" Doctor Whooves's blush put Twilight's to shame.
"I... think so." She crouched down and wiggled her rump like a hungry jungle cat. "What are you-" Before he had time to finish, 'Derpy' pounced on him and pinned him down. She kissed him softly and passionately. That was when her life took a turn for the worse. Twilight and Octavia (with the real Derpy still on her back in the cocoon). This ended the blissful moment far too quickly for their tastes. "Being a princess doesn't give you the right to just pop into my house and interrupt... stuff." He began to blush again, seeing the way 'Derpy' was standing over him.
"Well, Doctor Whooves, proof that she's a changeling using your love does give me that right. She is to be taken to Canterlot and dealt with there."
"Wait, slow down. Derpy is not a changeling!"
"Well, the one on Octavia's back isn't, but your marefriend is." 'Derpy' was off of him now, and was hiding in a corner.
"Octavia. What's she talking about?" Doctor Whooves was a little disturbed.
"Show her, Twiley." Twilight nodded. She lifted the changeling pod off of Octavia, and floated it close enough to the Doctor for him to see who was inside.
"D-derpy? So that means..." He looked at the panicking changeling, who was now mumbling to herself about how many different ways she could think of that 'The Queen' would think of to kill her. "You lied to me." That made Thunder Strike snap. She cried, and whimpered about 'Dame Octives,' how she 'hopped Princess Luna would show her up at the court,' and 'the hourglass pommy must hat her,' and other crazy stuff like that. Doctor Hooves was too upset to think straight. He ran off, leaving a crying clone, a trapped original, a too-cheerful bass player, and a very confused alicorn.
Octavia just wasn't sure how the stallion fell for the acting in the first place.
Chapter Seven: AJ has the Muffins.
Twilight stared at the Changeling with sympathy. It was a changeling, and Twilight wasn't exactly fond of them, but the poor thing was crying so much, it may have died from dehydration. Twilight felt guilty for what had happened. if it wasn't for her, than this poor little creature would by happy. Though, she wasn't sure which was better, as she didn't want Doctor Whooves to have all of his love drained from him. Yet, somehow, she was beginning to doubt her choice to expose the changeling. Twilight reluctantly walked towards the crying figure. It still hadn't transformed back, which was odd. She put a foreleg around the figure's shaking shoulders. It tensed up, but it stopped crying. Then it remembered who Twilight was, and what she had to do with her sadness, and curled into a soggy ball of wet fur and feathers. "H-hey. It's alright. I know I screwed up, but I think I can fix this." The changeling looked up at her, smiling a little, both at the thought of fixing it, and the thought of how it would probably fail.
"T-twilight? D-d you r-really mean it?" Twilight had a determined face. This made the changeling smile even more.
"Of course, changeling. Octavia, leave!" Octavia fled like a scared puppy. "Though, for my plan to work, you will need to be your changeling self, not Derpy." The changeling gave her a nod. a beam of green light shot up from the spot where the changeling sat. In the spot of the ditsy, pouting mailmare was a sleek, overly confident looking purple changeling with glowing blue hair flopped over her left eye. Twilight stood in awe at how the female changeling was so much happier in this form, and she had to admit it looked pretty cool like this.
"Oh, and Twilight? My name is Thunder Strike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little while later, Twilight had managed to explain to most of Ponyville why she was walking with a changeling named Thunder Strike. Applejack agreed to come on their journey, and she brought some Hard Cider Muffins. Rarity came to return Thunder to her true love, as that just seemed right to her. Twilight sent a telegram, and convinced Cadence to come if things went South. Somewhere along the way, Thunder ran into Gilda, and their meeting went... hilariously. "Wow! A griffon, I didn't know they lived in Equestria!" Gilda smirked.
"I think it's rarer to see stuff like you. What are you exactly?" Thunder deadpanned.
"Where were you during the Canterlot wedding fiasco? Living under a rock? I'm a changeling!" Gilda stared.
"Oh, yeah. I heard rumors about your lot. I never would have expected how awesome you look, though."
"Well, I'm a unique changeling. I look different from the others." Thunder toyed with her mane unconsciously.
"Unique? Is that like Special Ed? If so, I don't like you anymore." Thunder fumed.
"Wait... It's you ! You're Gilda! You're the one who roared at Flutters! This behavior can not and will not be tolerated! You will suffer the wrath of the mighty Thunder Strike !" Her voice grew more and more distorted as she talked.
"Uh, h-how about a bargain?" Thunder stared at her, eyes glowing blue.
"What kind of bargain?"
"If you don't hurt me, I'll help you with something!" Thunder contemplated this.
"Hmm... I suppose you could help me on my quest tomorrow. I need to talk to someone who kind of ran off, and is probably halfway to Appaloosa."
"Deal."
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Chapter Eight: By Signing This Contract, You Agree to be Thunder's Slave
Thunder Strike got a legal document that said that signing it made you agree to help the person in question, and made Gilda sign it. They had to hold a huge thing in Canterlot, and Thunder made sure to attract a large crowd. All of them watched Gilda sign it. It was even made super ultra official by having the royals (other than Cadence, she had somewhere to be). Afterwards, there was much laughing. Gilda was willing to sign, but didn't bother reading the fine print. They decided to fly to the meeting spot. When they got to Ponyville, everyone gasped when they saw Gilda. Lily could be heard screaming her trademark,"The horror, the horror!" The pair just casually walked over to Applejack and the rest of the travelling party, completely ignoring the stares towards the very hated griffon and the newly accepted changeling.
"Thunder, why the hay is Gilda here? She doesn't exactly like Ponyville." Thunder made a Trollestia face.
"Why, because she's my legally bound slave of course!" Everyone made a 'wut' face.
"I never agreed to this," Gilda protested. If Thunder had fingers, she would have waggled one.
"Oh, yes you did. It says so on page twelve, paragraph eight." She argued, showing the piece of parchment. "Octavia signed a copy while she was sleeping. She should be here soon." Everyone, excluding Gilda, made a Trollestia face, Gilda making a 'FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!' face. "We should do something while we wait for her."
"Drop the bass," a voice suggested.
"Breakdance," said another.
"Knitting!" Everyone stared at Pinkie Pie. "What? You think bad of knitting, judging Pinkie?" Everyone ended up making something. A scarf, a pair of mittens, or a stuffed penguin, no matter what it was, it was probably made that day.
"I'm here!" Everyone watched as Octavia arrived. "I need to break the habit of signing legal documents in my sleep."
Chapter Nine: The Seven Musketeers
Rarity, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Princess Cadence were prepared, and headed towards Derpy's house, which Derpy had willingly traded for a spot in AJ's barn. On the way there, Rarity got bored and wanted to spark a conversation.
"So, Cadence. How are things at the Crystal Empire?" Cadence made a shrug-like motion.
"Oh, fine. Shining usually does a lot of the work, because he says he doesn't want me to get stressed. I think he just likes to work." The two girls giggled at that.
"Hey, Applejack," said Twilight. Applejack looked at her. "Do you think we're doing the right thing? Helping a changeling like this?" Applejack gave a mature smile.
"Ah don't honestly know,* but we should still help. Cadence is here, an' ah think you two could probably handle a rowdy changeling. If Thunder Strike really does love him, everything should turn out jus' fine an' dandy." Twilight let AJ's words sink in.
"Yeah. You're right." Twilight leaned in closer to Applejack. "I have a more private matter to discuss, too. Can you keep it a secret?" Applejack nodded, and Twilight started whispering. "Do you ever think about love?"
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Chapter Ten: Twilight, Quit Strangling Octavia!
Applejack stared at Twilight. "Ah do, but why are yah bringin' it up with me?"
"Well, I know that if you say you'll keep it a secret, you'll be telling the truth. You just seem easy to talk to. Added to that, you're currently the only one I can talk to." Applejack smiled.
"Shucks. To answer yer question, yes ah do. That Wonderbolt Soarin'..." She trailed off, blushing madly when she came back to focus. Applejack cleared her throat. "A-anyway, sugarcube, what were you gonna say?" Twilight smirked.
"Applejack, I think that if both of us get what we want, we can go on a double date." Applejack blushed harder. "Anyway, I... I like Flash Sentry." Applejack looked confused. "That pegasus guard from that time I went through that mirror."
"Oooooh. Ooooooooh...." Applejack gave a mischievous grin. "Is he the one that sent that letter Pinkie told me about?"
"Uh..., yeah..."
"Girls! We're here!" Rarity pointed at the house, and they all walked inside.
"Hang on! I'll be there in a minute!" Gilda and Octavia walked up to the new arrivals. Twilight glared at Octavia.
"Hello. Sorry about the thing with Fluttershy..." Gilda suddenly took interest in how fascinating the pattern in the plain cream rug was. Twilight looked at her.
"Howdy, Gilda. It's fine, Flutters fergives yah." Gilda smiled. Twilight resumed her glaring.
"Why are you looking at me like that, Twilight?" Twilight pounced on her, pinned her to the ground, and proceeded to strangle her.
"Twilight, quit strangling Octavia! We already have a lot of problems involving what's happening, and her corpse wouldn't exactly help." Twilight listened to her step-sister's voice of reason and (reluctantly) stepped off of the traumatized earth pony. "What should we do while we wait?"
"Mad-libs!" They created the following story:
My name is Applejack and I live in a big house with my stepmother, Twilight Sparkle, and my two stepsisters, Pinkie Pie and Big Macintosh. The old tale about stepfamilies being happy is just silly! Twilight, Pinkie, and Big Mac are absolutely awesome! In fact, Pinkie, Big Mac, and I went to a dance last weekend. It was soft!
At the dance, I wore my dresses and my necklace. Pinkie, Big Mac, and I met this really fun guy named Soarin'. He was fluffy because he was the president of the Monopoly club, and he wore a cheerful tuxedo. I had a confusing time talking with him.
I had a confusing time, but I forgot my trenchcoat at the dance. Luckily, Soarin' brought it back to our house. First, Pinkie tried it on, and it didn't match her insane style. It looked really derpy! Then Big Mac tried it on, and it was obviously not hers either. But then I tried it on, and it fit me surreptitiously! I thanked Soarin' and invited him to stay for a snack of tacos. We have a lot in common. Who would have thought that a lost trenchcoat would lead to a new friend?
"What in tarnation?! This story just called Big Macintosh a 'her!'" Everyone, including Thunder, started laughing. No one saw her come down, so she scared them pretty badly. "Geez! You gave us quite a fright. Why are ya bringin' Derpy's pod, with her still in it?" Thunder made a 'liarjack' face.
"Oh, no reason."
"Okaaay." Twilight looked at Octavia, frowning.
She's the slave of a changeling, but she gives her master a respect level as if she was the master. I had better keep a close eye on her... Octavia looked at Twilight.
"Oh my Celestia, Twilight, stop staring at me like that. It's creeping me out!"
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Chapter Eleven: Manehatten, City of Twilight-Mind-Reading
Thunder Strike readjusted Derpy so that it would be easier for her to carry the pegasus, then gave commands and described a very complicated plan. At the end, Octavia smiled. "Wow, that must have taken a lot of thought. You must really like this guy. I'm sorry about screwing it up..." She frowned, and Thunder gave her an empathetic look. They all started walking towards the train station.
"Oh, it's alright. You were just worried about his safety, which I understand, seeing as I am a member of a race that almost took over Canterlot not too long ago." Tavi smiled again, but with more meaning.
"Thank you for saying that. It was nice. Though, now that I think we're at least 'close acquaintances,' I have a few things I want to talk about regarding your plan. I don't recall you mentioning the actual 'getting him back' part, we have no idea where he actually is, and nowhere in your spoken plan did you explain why you brought Derpy." Thunder inhaled and began to talk at a speed that would make Pinkie Pie envious.
"The getting him back part is just some calm, casual talking after we corner him, I planted a GPS tracking device on him when I suspected you were onto me, so I know he's in Baltimare, and the Derpy thing is for in case he wants to know where she is, because he's worried about her, or some other corny, romance movie-worthy bullshit." Octavia's eyes widened.
"Firstly, GPS tracking is a little bit stalker-ish, and secondly, there is no need for swearing. Also, you do realize that by bringing the girl he was in love with, even when you were a very unconvincing version of her, you may have made him fall in love with her again, right?" Thunder tilted her head slightly, frowned a very depressed frown, and stared at Tavi, only visible eye twitching.
"Hehehe... N-nop-pe. Ne-ev-ver oc-c-cured t-to m-me." She then ran full speed towards the train station, and when no one could see her, she let loose a single tear. Despite the possible heartbreak, she swore that not a another tear would fall from her face today. She didn't want to know what would happen if her emotions got out of check. Geez. What kind of loser am I? I'm a heterochromatic*, bipolar changeling. Just one of the previous two can get you shunned by changelings, and being a changeling gets you shunned by normal ponies. The only one who was always accepting of me as me was... Luna. Wait... LUNA! Thunder looked up, sniffing the air. Her group had caught up to her, and were completely perplexed as to why she was behaving strangely. Her ears were moving around, in seemingly random patterns. Twilight deciphered that the changeling mare was searching for something. But what? Suddenly, Thunder's ears stopped moving, and she started walking in the direction they were facing. The others followed, not knowing in the slightest what was going on. Well, except for Twilight. When they reached Thunder's destination, everyone in the group (again, excluding Twiley) gasped. They were in Baltimare. With Princess Luna, now at their side. Twilight was much less impressed.
Nice use of primal tracking ability, and teleportation** on Luna's part. I just want to know how the others didn't notice. The following a changeling concept is pretty distracting. Probably for my sister-in-law especially, since her wedding was kind of trashed by them. I wonder if- Twilight was snapped out of her thoughts as Applejack started pushing her from behind. Twilight quickly started up on her own. "You could've just said something." Applejack smirked, and frolicked off gleefully. I wonder if Applejack, Rarity, and I are the only ones who trust Thunder. My sister-in-law's kingdom was taken over by them, and Gilda and Octavia are (legally) willing slaves. It doesn't really seem very likely that there's trust there. It's also possible that Rarity doesn't trust her and only came to help with the whole true love thing. So in all honesty, it's just Applejack and I. Haha, honesty. Applejack, Element of Honesty. Rarity is generous, being the Element of Generosity. Generosity can take many forms, so she may be generous with trust. Hm. I may need to look into tha- oh look, we're here. Oh, wait. No we aren't. Twiley looked at what looked like a 1960s-style trottingham police box, in the middle of the forest. Yeah, because that isn't random at all. A shout of 'My name is Gluteus Maximus. Are you not entertained?!' could be heard coming from an improvisation drama studio. Next thing you know, some random mare with big, poofy hair will start singing 'Hey Momma, Welcome to the 60's.' Just then, some random mare with big, poofy hair started singing 'Hey Momma, Welcome to the 60's.' This place is scaring me. It's like it knows what I'm thinking. Twilight crashed into a sign that said 'Madam Pinkie Pie: She knows what you're thinking!'
"Twilight, when yer dun gawkin' at the sights, ah think Thunder'd 'preciate if ya helped us find the Doctor." Applejack extended a hoof. Twilight gave her a dirty look, but pulled herself up.
Chapter Twelve: Paradox Part One
The seven (now eight) girls walked toward the house that The Doctor was staying at. Twilight had thought about PewDiePie and got the group a chance to play games with him in the future. "You know, I could use this to my advantage," Twilight mumbled to herself. "I would like... a lollipop!" A stand with the sign 'Free Lollipops' materialized in front of her. "And some chocolate milk to go with it." Discord showed up, making a single cotton candy cloud appear directly above Twilight. He left when it started to rain. "Umbrella!" An umbrella started floating above her, but in the process, everyone else got wet.
"We do not want to be wet. We will not say huzzah, because the weight has doubled." All of the wet ponies agreed with Luna. Twilight pawed the ground sheepishly.
"Sorry. Anyone else want anything?" Thunder Strike mumbled something, but no one heard what she said. "What was that?" Thunder replied, being half serious.
"Can I have a little bottle of... Love Potion No.9?" Twilight glared daggers. "I thought we agreed on not having any more reference quotes from you, Missy!" Thunder gave her a 'you gotta be kiddin' me' look.
"That isn't until another chapter. Very important to the story line that we wait. Besides, you weren't the one who made me promise." She looked at you. "Yes, Fourth-wall breaking. Don't like that? Too bad!" Twilight looked in your general direction, but only saw the town.
"Erm... What are you looking at?" Thunder rolled her eyes.
"Is she serious? She's seen Pinkie do this." Luna cleared her throat.
"We believe this group was doing something, and Twilight?"
"Yeas, Luna?"
"She is talking to this audience watching our every move called... 'bronies.'" Twilight just stood there for a minute, then it clicked.
"Oooooh. I remember reading about them." Thunder gave her a 'really' look.
"Of course you do. Ponies go to the library and ask you if you know something, and then this happens"
Youtube Video
Twilight watched the video, and recoiled in disgust. "What?! I don't do that!" The other girls giggled. 63,549 distractions later, they actually managed to get there without Twilight killing Octavia. "Well, here we are." Thunder had been playing some game, and a lot of swearing could be heard from her mouth. "Geez, Thunder! You swear like a sailor!" You would think Thunder would blush, but she just struck a pose. "You are a very proud changeling."
"Oh, you." They finally knocked on the door ('they' being Rarity), Luna becoming Thunder's meat shield. Doctor Whooves answered the door, sticking his head out.
"May I help you?" Twilight stepped forward.
"Doctor, I apologize if Thunder hurt you, and I'm sorry I informed you before you... did... whatever you were going to do." The Doctor looked mildly shocked.
"Well, considering the context, I assume that Thunder was the one pretending to be Derpy. I'm kind of shocked you would be siding with one of... them ." Thunder hurdled Luna and poked a hoof in The Doctor's face.
"Wow, racist much? I don't really appreciate your lack of faith in me. Sure at first I was going to leech off of your love, but I didn't know you then! It was a special mission given to me directly by Queen Chrysalis herself. How could I refuse that offer?!" Doctor Whooves poked his hoof in her face.
"Can you really blame me for not trusting you? You're a changeling! You may say you're trustworthy, but how do I know you haven't just tricked me, and these other ponies as well just to back up what you say?" Thunder sighed and looked back at where she left the changeling pod.
"You know that saying, 'If you love something, set it free'?" He gave her a skeptical look.
"Yeah...?" She walked over to the pod and dragged it back to him.
"Well, you're free. Here's the real Derpy." His face hurt her, and Thunder decided to be cruel. You want an evil changeling? Be careful what you wish for... "But , you have to earn her back." Twilight looked worried, but curious as to where this was going.
"How...?" The Doctor was uneasy. He wasn't sure if should've asked that and after hearing her response, he immediately regretted it.
"Kiss me." Many gasps were heard.
"E-Excuse me?" Thunder scoffed.
"What are you, deaf?" The Doctor shook his head. "Do it. Or you don't get her back." He shook his head.
"I won't!"
"Fine. Can I at least bring Luna to go inside?" He reluctantly agreed. The three walked inside, only one knowing for sure what would happen. "Okay, I just want you to know, you are a very frustrating man. However, you still deserve Derpy. Therefore, all I want is for you to be my friend. Luna can help accomplish that."
"We can?"
"Of course. Remember, you went into my dream and saw... stuff." Luna nodded.
"Yes, even you didn't believe that your species could truly love, but we knew you could. Your dreams proved this." The Doctor softened up a little.
"Exactly what was in the dream?" Luna and Thunder looked at each other, blushed, and said 'Nothing!' in perfect unison. "Okaaay... I don't think I want to know." Again, in perfect unison, they said 'No. No you don't.'These two are scaring me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside, ponies were giving Twilight requests, and it confused Twilight as to how it was happening. Little did she know, she would soon find out.
"You said that you wanted me for something?" Queen Chrysalis looked up from the birthday card one of her changelings gave her. Idiot. It was nowhere near her birthday. In front of her desk was Thunder Strike, her most faithful changeling minion (and the only one who ever gets her birthday right). Thunder strike had a slight purplish hue where the grayish black was on other changelings, and she had electric blue hair that she always covered her left eye with. She never let anyone see her left eye, but her right eye was a cerulean blue color.
"Yes. I called you here because I have a few very good missions set up, and you are the only one that I thought deserved one. They basically just send you off to replace a pony with a lot of love directed at them. Take your pick. You can leech off of the love for as long as you want as a reward for how good you are at your job", Chrysalis said.
"Sweet. Okay... OOH! This one!", Thunder Strike decided happily, pointing to one of the files.
"Okay. So it's settled. You will be disguised as... Derpy Hooves." Chrysalis's jagged horn glowed green, and soon after, so did a pen. She wrote down something (in binary code, so no one could read it*), then said,"Everything is handled. you just need to read her file to know how to act like her, so as not to fail as horribly as I did."
"Thanks!" Thunder Strike quickly read through the file and snorted. "Seriously?", she laughed. "She's obsessed with muffins? That won't be too hard. Muffins are awesome." She set the file on Chrysalis's 'desk' **, fixed a pile of files in an OCD-type fashion, and proceeded to walk to the door.
"One quick thing!", Chrysalis yelled after her minion. " Exactly why do you never let people see your left eye?"
"Because", answered Thunder Strike, "That would cause a..."
"A... What?"
"A...". Thunder Strike puts on sunglasses. "Hairy situation."
Snowflake the changeling pops out of nowhere and yells, "YEEEEAAAAH!"
Que Awkward Silence and intense staring directed at Snowflake.
"Oookaaay then. Well then, I guess I'm off to Ponyville.", Thunder Strike said. When she walked out the front door, she said,"Thunder has left the building."***
Back in her office, Chrysalis took the file labeled 'Derpy Hooves' off of the table. She looked at a picture with the caption 'Doctor Hooves' and sighed. "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the flank."
Chapter Five: Thunder Cries
That night, 'Derpy' dreamed about love. As in, feeling it herself. She dreamed about what it would be like to love, and even kiss someone. Princess Luna showed up in her dream. "Hey, what's up?"
"We are very confused. You are not the real Derpy?" 'Derpy' looked sad.
"...No..." Then, her features twisted in confusion. "Wait... you couldn't have figured that out from my dream, I'm dreaming about..." She thought back to kissing the Doctor in her dream. "Never mind."
"We gained suspicion from Octavia's dream. She is convinced that you are a changeling, which we now know you are, but she is going insane trying to prove it."
"Hey, Luna? You aren't going to tell anyone that I'm a changeling, are you? If I was found out... C-Chrysalis would..." 'Derpy' started crying.
"Of course not. We are friends, are we not?" 'Derpy' smiled. "Besides, even if we were not, Chrysalis would punish you if you failed, which we still probably would not want to see happen." Luna started to do her usual dream exit. "Also, just because you are a changeling does not mean that you do not have the option to love. we saw the other dreams!" She disappeared, leaving 'Derpy' to think in her wake. Did she mean that Iam capable of loving someone? Preposterous! Though, with the way I was acting around Doctor Whooves... I guess I could confess this later. It is fairly obvious he likes me. That bow on the muffin basket... 'Derpy' got up happier than ever, and actually skipped through her morning routine instead of walking. She put the bow in her hair very beautifully, and hurried off to her job. She really hoped Doctor Whooves had mail. She cried tears of joy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Derpy' had just left her house when Octavia arrived. Octavia snuck in through a window, and crept to the basement. "The real Derpy is probably down here if anywhere. Now to find her..." Octavia almost screamed when she saw it. "I need to get this to Twilight!" She struggled to lift it, but managed to, and somehow made it to the library without being noticed. She knocked on (headbutted, actually) the door. Twilight's magic opened the door.
"Come in! I'll be there in a minute." Twilight rushed down the stairs. "Oh, hi, Octavia! How- what the hay is on your back ?!"
"My proof. Look inside." Inside of the changeling pod was Derpy Hooves.
"Mother of Celestia! You were right! What do we do?"
"We need to tell Doctor Whooves. He's being tricked. We have to get to him, and fast."Twilight nodded.
"Here's hoping we aren't too late..."
