Rupert Visits Equestria

Twilight Sparkle slept that night blissfully in her fairly new tree castle. Or at least it was blissful until she woke up for reasons unknown to her. She looked around cautiously, but saw nothing. She felt like something was there, but she couldn't quite place a hoof on it.

"Spike?" she called out. The only reply from the young dragon was his insistent snoring. Deciding it was nothing, she shrugged it off and went back into a deep sleep. There was no way for her to know that the being of stitch and felt was only a few feet away staring upon her resting form.

* * *

The day after, Twilight was stocking and organizing the new library that was in her castle. Because all of her books had been destroyed during the battle with Tirek, she had to start from scratch. Fortunately being the Princess of Friendship had its perks. It was easy enough to order more with the tax payers bits.

"Spike!" she yelled across the room, "Are you done with that side?"

"Almost!" he replied, "I have to go get the rest from outside."

"Okay, but hurry. We are so close to finishing, and I am starting to get hungry."

"Yeah, Yeah... don't worry. I'll be back in a sec."

Spike then departed from the room and left Twilight levitating the final few books up to a shelf near her. She silently thought to herself at how she had cleverly organized the books. All the way down to color coding. Rainbow would never have trouble finding a Daring Do Book again! Then right as she was about to place the books onto the shelf... "Hello New Friend!" her magic dispersed and the books fell down on top of her head.

She turned, while rubbing her pained head, to see the cause of the surprise. "Ahhhh!!!" She screamed when she faced the creature.

"Oh is that how we greet in this world?", questioned the horrifying stitched creature. "I am not very caught up on... 'Social Standards' here."

"Uhhh... umm... what are you?", peeped Twilight.

"My name is Rupert, what is your's, friend?"

"Uhh... Twilight Sparkle."

"Nice to meet you friend Sparkle."

"Why are you calling me 'friend Sparkle'?"

"Oh, do you not consider us friends? That is disappointing..." Rupert turned and his body made a 'tick' sound. "I knew a friend once who didn't think he and I were friends. He went away." He turned back making another tick sound. "Are you and I not friends?"

"...N-no! I just was... wondering... why you said 'Sparkle'! Yeah. I just usually go by 'Twilight'... yeah, that's it! We are totally friends"

"Oh, that is good friend Twilight! I have just been dying to meet new friends."

"That's... nice...", she turned toward the door hoping that Spike would return.

"I have a joke friend Twilight. Do you want to hear it?"

"Uhh... sure Rupert..."

"Why is six afraid of seven?"

"Because 7-8-9?"

"Six is afraid of seven because of an existential crisis."

"Oh... okay..."

"Friend Twilight, I hope you know you are my most best friend."

"But we only just met."

"Well you have only just met me."

"Oh..." Twilight let out a small squeak.

"Do you by any chance play the fiddle?"

His question could not be answered because Spike had just entered the room carrying stacks of books. He could only see what was at his feet. "Sorry I took so long." said Spike, "The delivery mare had accidentally toppled them everywhere." He dropped the books only to see the confrontation before him. In once glance towards Rupert he exclaimed, "Woah! That's creepy..."

"That was not very friendly...", commented Rupert.

"No! No! That... was being friendly! He just... has a weird way of showing it!", Twilight defended.

"It's learning time. Friend Twilight, did you know that dragons scales are tough enough to withstand molten lava from a volcano?"

"Yes... I was aware of that..."

"Were you also aware that if you were to remove each scale of a dragon one by one, it's heart would eventually stop beating from the excruciating pain."

Both Spike and Twilight remained stunned and silent.

"Isn't learning fun? Like I always say, knowledge is dominance."

There was suddenly a Spike shape cloud where he once stood, as he ran out of the room. Twilight took a few steps back, out of sheer terror.

"I wonder why he left friend Twilight. I thought we were getting somewhere."

Twilight tried to think of something to get out of the uncomfortable situation, but she could not think clearly.

"Friend Twilight, I don't think you are enjoying my visit... do you not like my company?"

Twilight remained silent still unsure of what to do. A whole minute past of Rupert staring down Twilight with his unblinking eyes, until he spoke up again. "I know what to do friend. I will sing a song to lighten the mood. Sing along if you know the words, friend."

Rupert then turned away from Twilight making the ticking sound and started his song.

Listen very carefully; I'll serenade with chemistry

Your body's barely built for having badly-bonded enthalpies

To put this in perspective, you'll be beaten by your hemoglobins

Since it goes accepting gas that quickly makes your breathing broken

Chlorine is a gas in a natural state at STP

Its simple to create; It forms itself quite easily

All you need is water and some hydrochloric acid

Then you sit right back and the reaction is quite rapid

H2O plus HCl

Mixing both, will go quite well

432 kilo joules per mole

is all it takes to lose your soul

Once those joules have been released

That is when your heart beats ceased

Now you know your chemistry

Next time won't you sing with me?

Rupert turned back to Twilight and back again and then back to Twilight each time making the ticking sound.

"You didn't sing along friend."

Twilight then fainted.

* * *

Twilight awoke tied with a balloon string. She looked around only to see Rupert.

"Good morning friend Twilight. cock-a-doodle-doo"

"Oh, Celestia! I thought you were a dream!"

"Dreams cause only pain and disappointment, friend. Luckily for you. I wasn't a dream."

"Uh...ha ha... yeah..."

"HIYA! I'M SCRAMBLES!!!" said a creature that looked like a hand with eyes.

"No not another one!" screamed Twilight.

"I CAME TO TAKE RUPERT BACK!", shouted Scrambles.

"Please do!", begged Twilight. She teared up out of joy.

"Don't cry, friend Twilight. I will have Scrambles let me visit again.", Rupert reassured. "Then we can have even more fun."

"YEAH! I WILL DEFINITELY COME BACK!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE PARK BENCH!"

* * *

From that day onward, for reasons known only to Twilight and Spike, the Friendship castle was suddenly filled full of park benches.