Are You Happy to See Me or is There an Apple in My Butt?
The Awesome Rainbow Blitz and Applebutt

So, there I was, The Awesome Rainbow Blitz just innocently flying over to Applejack's to hang out. Maybe we could play some horseshoes or that weird Appleball game AJ made up.

I could always tell I'd reached Sweet Apple Acre's when the smell suddenly changed into something really special. It had this earthy, apple-y, and uhh, tree-y scent. Basically, it smelled like Applejack, or he smelled like Sweet Apple Acres. I dunno, but it'd rained a couple hours ago so there was that fresh water scent mixing in with it. I had to do a quick loop-de-loop, because all these smells were really energizing.

During my loop, I saw a blur of orange on the ground below. After I re-oriented myself, I saw the no-longer-blur of orange was Applejack. He was sprawled out on the grass for some reason. I had no time to think about why he'd be doing that, because an idea struck me. He probably hadn't seen me. Earth Ponies had this terrible problem of only thinking in two dimensions. If I was sneaky enough, I might be able to snatch his hat. I loved hearing that frustrated, country accent. 'Git over heer you no gud varmit!' or something and then he'd try to chase me. Being the fastest pony alive, he had no chance of ever catching up with me, so I'd have to slow down and let him catch me. It was just unfair to him how awesome I was, but it was still a lot of fun to tease him.

I hovered closer to the ground for a sneaky landing and saw Applejack on his back. He was rubbing some big, black stick. I was kind of confused, so I decided to take a closer look. Either way, I wanted to get his hat. It looked better on me anyway. I took light, wing assisted steps towards him and hid behind a tree a not too far from him. I peeked my head to the side of the tree to see what he was doing and my jaw dropped.

Holy crap, his dong was huge.

It had to be two inches thick and a little more than a foot long. It was like, some kind of vein-y tower of fucking. Wait, okay, that sounded really stupid, but I seriously could not believe that a cock like that existed outside of porn magazines and fantasies. Not my fantasies of course. Fantasizing about my best friend's cock would be weird. Especially the idea of wrapping my hooves all around it while AJ humped into my grip. Nope.

He rolled his hoof up and down his length, savoring every inch of touch. Applejack's eyes clenched tighter like there was nothing in the world except him and his cock giving him all the pleasure he could ever need. He took his hoof and dragged it along the his pre-covered tip, making a squishy suction noise. He slowly placed it over his mouth and licked it off.

Being surrounded by all these apples must have made me hungry, because my mouth was watering up pretty bad.

"Mmm, oh Rainbow."

Oh crap! When did he see me? I ducked behind the tree again. I don't know what that would have accomplished, but having your friend call you out on watching them make their own special applesauce isn't exactly something I had prepared for. I waited for a while, still hearing the friction of hoof against flesh and the slick of pre-cum.

"Unf, Blitz stop puttin' yer stupid, cute ass in my face all the time."

That perked my ears up and maybe my wings too. I peeked out again to see his eyes were still shut tight. He arched his back followed by a low moan and he thrust himself farther into the air. My wings were definitely full span.

He took deep breaths as his hoof speed up on his thick length. "Uoooh! Damn it, Blitz. Gotta come burstin' into my fantasies." He trusted his stallion-hood faster and ground his hoof harder against it. "That stupid smug look on your face, I just wanna kiss those lips so bad!"

Okay, this might have sounded stupid, but I thought AJ had the hots for my bod. I could understand some ponies having this problem. I was pretty much the most awesome athlete in Equestria and being the most awesome athlete pretty much gave me the best body in Equestria. Since I have the best body in Equestria, it only makes sense that I would have a really awesome butt and lips. It was all simple mathematics. Except for the part where I was totally a dude, and he was totally a dude, and he totally wanted to shove his big dick down my throat.

Jeeze, all these apples must have made me really hungry, because my mouth was watering really badly.

I realized my own little guy wanted to see the action. I might have been accidentally encouraging him with some casual fondling. I mean, you see one guy going to town on himself and talking about you while he's doing it. You might get a little chub yourself. Or a full erection. And leak bit of pre on the grass. He's all by himself out here and I didn't want him to feel like he was weird or something. That made sense to me.

I looked down at my own and had to admit another painful truth. AJ was now bigger than me in just about everything now. He was heavier, taller and now had a bigger dong. I was going to blame stupid Earth Pony genetics. I wasn't small or anything. I just wasn't as big as tall, orange and dicky over there showing it off to all of Equestria. I had one advantage over him though. Most stallions have black skin underneath, however, I have an awesomely non-black colored one. It was pink. Radical pink. And it was enjoying the casual fondling as I watched my best friend to make sure he didn't feel weird for milking himself alone in an open field. That made sense to me.

"Oh fuck, I wanna put my dick between those cheeks so bad."

There must have been an annoying fly buzzing around, because my tail rose to deal with something.

His enthusiasm was pretty contagious. I followed his hoof work along my own stiffness, and it wasn't hard to replace my forelegs with his muscular ones in my mind. They wrapped around my shaft and pumped it up and down. When he took both hooves to himself, I tried to follow suit. But I stumbled into the tree I was hiding behind, when Equestria reminded me how gravity worked. I tried to re-adjust myself to see AJ at work, but I heard a loud snap.

Applejack snapped to attention and looked in every direction in search of the cause of the sound. "Uhh, is anypony there? Missy Mac? Appleseed? If it's y'all. I swear I can explain. Oh sweet Solaris, I hope it wasn't Grampy." He looked back down to his throbbing erection, spilling pre everywhere as he moved about. He shoved his stetson over it, somehow managing to blush even deeper.

Crap! I ducked behind the tree again. I glared daggers at the stupid twig beneath my rear hoof, but it did bring attention to my very stiff pinkness. Oh man, if AJ sees that I was going at myself while watching him do it, he'll think I'm some kind of uncool stalker weirdo! Who would think this made any sense at all? I slapped myself in the forehead.

"Missy? Lil' Apple? Are y'all hidin' behind that tree?"

I am idiot.

I heard the sounds of hoof-steps on grass growing louder by the moment. I wanted to fly away, but my wings were too stiff for some reason. Maybe if I ran really, really fast, but then he would see me and the only downside to having a natural rainbow mane is that nopony will ever confuse you for someone else, especially after doing something wrong. Maybe I could climb this tree and pretend I was a bird. I had the feathers and Butterscotch taught me how to do some good bird calls.

"Now see, us stallions sometimes get these special urges and we have to deal with-Rainbow Blitz!"

Before I could enact my fowl plan, it was already too late.

"Uhh, hey Applebutt!" I tried to cross my legs and forelegs to cover my shame, but the radical pink really stood out against my sky-blue coat, not to mention the additional friction wasn't helping the little guy's excitement issue. Okay, maybe if I play it cool enough, he won't even notice.

"Pretty crazy rain we had today? Like it was raining cocks and dicks-I mean-How about that busy market yesterday? I bet you made a lot of good fucks-Damn!-Hey, you've got a hat on your dick!"

Smoothest pony alive.

"Blitz, how much did you see 'n' hear?" Applejack flatly asked.

"Well, now I know I have a really nice booty and lips, and you possibly have the biggest dick in Equestria that apparently accessorizes very well." I had to admit, his dick looked better in that stetson than I did. I pointed my hoof for emphasis, but exposed more of myself. It had obviously grabbed his attention.

"Aaand just what exactly were y'all doin' behind Cheryl, sugarcube?" he said while looking directly at my little problem.

"Cheryl?"

"The tree, her name's Cheryl. Now answer the question."

"Just making sure you didn't feel weird."

"By peepin' on me behind Cheryl?"

"No! By making applesauce with you behind, uhh, Cheryl."

"Did y'all just call masturbating, 'makin' applesauce?' Wait, no, I don't even care about that. Why in the wide world of Equestria did y'all think hoofin' yourself behind my poor apple tree would make me feel less weird?"

"Well, you were jerking off by yourself and I thought it was kinda lonely. So I would keep you company by jerking off with you...behind a tree you named Cheryl. This might sound a little weird when I say it out loud, but I swear it makes sense in my head."

Applejack stood there for a moment staring at me or through me. He blinked once, returning to reality, before turning around and saying, "Eeenope."

"Wait! Don't go! I swear I this'll make more sense eventually!"

I got up and started following him, when I noticed something sticking out of his tail hole. Well, first I noticed that his balls were huge. So that's another thing on the list of stupid Earth Pony genetics that's bigger than mine. But as I came closer, I noticed it was a stem and leaf sticking out of his butt. I had to make it up to him and the best way to do this would be getting whatever this is out of his butt. That made a lot of sense to me. I ran up to his rear and stuck my face underneath his tail and between those farm-work chiseled cheeks.

He froze on the spot. "What in tarnation?!"

Upon closer inspection of the leaf and stem, it had to be an apple lodged inside. If I just grabbed the stem, it would get plucked off leaving the apple behind. I needed to get to the apple inside, so I pushed my muzzle deeper into Applejack and slid my tongue inside to feel for it.

"Oooh dear Solaris!" He pushed his ass harder against my muzzle. Which was a good thing, because it made it easier to find the apple. It wasn't very deep. I kept licking at the smooth, fleshy walls of his tail hole in hopes of getting the fruit lose. It was good that Applejack had cleaned up before hoof. It was always a good thing to prepare for something to suddenly get stuck in your butt, like an apple or something. Applejack must have been pushing pretty hard with how loud and throaty his moans were getting. It really motivated me to lick and push harder.

I felt a wetness covering my hooves and pulled my tongue away from my important, life-saving work. Somehow my hooves were massaging the length of Applejack's now-stetson-less cock. Pre slicked my hooves. I wondered what it tasted like so I lifted them up to lick-

"If y'all fucking stop now, I WILL destroy y'all Blitz!"

So in awesome non-death-defying action, I returned to getting that troublesome apple out and making sure my best friend was comfortably not jerking off alone in a field. Made sense to me.

Returning my hooves to his stallion-hood, I could really feel the strength of it. It was hard like a diamond and impossible to hold still when it twitched. His balls were hard at work too. They were constantly contracting and relaxing. His apples were pumping out gallons of pre all over my hooves. I might have also gave them a lick and suckle and buried my muzzle deep in that musky sex scent. Maybe I took one juicy ball in my mouth and rolled my tongue around it. I might have enjoyed that delicious, salty sweat flavor and then did it again to the other one. It really helped the flow of pre, which helped make AJ's meat perfectly slick and smooth, which made it easier to make sure he didn't feel weird for getting off alone in an open field.

It was so slick; I could put my own cock next to his and we could be cock buddies. That'd have to be double not weird. He's not getting off alone in an open field, and I'm not getting off while watching my best friend in an open field behind a tree named Cheryl. I positioned myself a little underneath him and pushed his cock downward. It took a lot of effort, but I managed to wrap my forearms around each of our cocks and ground them together tightly. The friction between us felt like I was starting a fire. I heard another deep moan as his flare leaked more on my nuts when they bumped against each other. I might have moaned and added more bodily fluids to the mix, but that was what being cock buddies is all about. It was totally normal for two stallions to be cock buddies. You couldn't be cock buddies with a mare. And why not be cock buddies with my best friend? But elevating my friendship only solved one problem, I needed to focus on that apple bothering my friend.

The apple was close, now. It was at the entrance, or exit in the case of Applejack's rear and just needed a couple more pushes. I diligently worked my tongue around the entire rim, coating his plot-hole with a thick layer of saliva. Applejack grunted and heaved as the intruder was pushed a fourth of the way out. I decided that I should strike now and released our cocks from my grip. His cock hit his stomach with a loud slap and a stallion juice splashed on the grass below. I used my free hooves to grab his firm flanks and used my mouth to bite deep into the apple. Then I pushed him away and I tugged at apple as hard as I could. Applejack howled in what was probably not a very happy way, but I managed to force the apple from his rear with a satisfying popping sound.

"That HURT Rainbow!"

Nope. Not happy.

"Ermsurryafflejyak!" I spat out the offending apple. "But we got the apple out of your butt, Applebutt! Now you don't have to be mad at me. In fact, you don't even have to thank me. You're my best friend after all." I gave him one of my trademark smiles. The type that meant we ended the argument with a laugh and went out to play horseshoes or Appleball or something, but Applejack's face showed no mirth nor a desire to play Appleball.

"I told y'all, if y'all stop, I WILL destroy y'all. And then for some dag blasted reason, y'all stopped." His hard-on twitched accenting every testosterone-powered word.

"Uh, that's because I got-"

"Shut yer sexy mouth and turn around!"

I promptly shut my sexy mouth, losing my trademark smile, and did what I was told in more non-death defying action. I liked to reserve all my death defying antics for safer things like flying. Daring Doo re-enactmenting, and lion taming.

I felt his muscular forelegs roll over my rear, giving it a quick feel over before pushing my tail out of the way. He grabbed the insides of my cheeks with his hooves and pushed them apart. I could feel the open air flowing inside my exposed innards and had to open my stupid sexy mouth. "Uh, what are you going to do?"

My question was answered with a warm, wiggling tongue. He stopped for a moment and responded, "I'm going to destroy y'all."

Well, if this was what getting destroyed was like, then I would love getting destroyed every day. Though I didn't think I had any apples in my butt, but I did clean myself just in case. I was glad to know our friendship was strong enough to check up on each other in case we had apples secretly lodged in our butts or something. Made sense to me.

His tongue dug deep into my rear, forcing a more girly than normal moan out of me. I guessed his tongue being stronger and bigger than mine is another thing on the list of stupid Earth Pony genetics, but I let that slide as his tongue felt around every nook and cranny inside of me. His tongue massaged my prostate, sending my balls into overdrive, but then it retreated entirely leaving an empty feeling. Applejack's tongue slowly glided across my taint to my nuts. His dexterous tongue lifted both of them into his warm mouth and caressed them. The wet warmth stroking at the same time drove me crazy, but then he let out a low hum on my balls that caused my legs to give out. Applejack's strong hooves held my rear in place as I shakily got my front up and uncrossed my eyes. Fortunately, he released my balls from his mouth before I lost all control and pushed my cock backwards behind me. He dragged his tongued from my balls down my shaft, licking left and right all the way down. The pleasure was becoming too much and I let a super uncool squeak from my throat. I heard AJ laugh, but then he wrapped his lips around my flare and licked and sucked and pulled and holy shit, "I'm gonna cum!" Being destroyed was fucking awesome!

And just as soon as it started, it suddenly stopped. Applejack leaned on top of me. His entire muscular frame wrapped around me. His embrace was warm and strong, and the addition of neck nibbling to ear nibbling might have induced a moan or two. His member chilling between my legs next to my pink one was cool too. They were probably talking about hot mares or something in that funny penis-twitch language. If I ever needed a snuggle buddy, I'm sure I could upgrade Applejack to that. I felt a fore-hoof grab my rear and pull up while the other pushed my front down. The heat of his cock left from between my legs and then I felt a heavy pressure against my little pink tail-hole. He let go of my ear from his teeth and whispered, "Y'all ready to get destroyed?"

Before I could think of much, his pre-slicked, titanic cock slid its way inside me.

"Hot damn, yer tight!"

"Not tight. Too big." I barely shuddered a response as my brain was lost in a strange combination of pain and pleasure. He moved my insides around just by flexing his cock. I could feel every twitch and throb as it pushed my walls apart.

"Oh, well that's too bad, because we're just gettin' started. I'm only a quarter in, and I intend to be all the way by the time I'm done with you, sugarcube." Applejack began pushing more of his diamond-hard length into my poor ass. I could only whimper as he split my insides apart. I felt a bit of relief as the pressure relented for a moment. He pulled himself back to my entrance, but suddenly refilled me as he pushed more of his cock deeper inside me again, and again, and again. The thrusts were rhythmic and steady. Each one stretched my insides further apart. Each one forced a little more of that monster deeper into me. The slick noises of all the pre and spit grew louder as Applejack's grunting became wilder. I barely noticed my own sweat-covered body. Pleasure had taken over pain as each thrust pushed me closer and closer to release.

But then he slowed down. He changed to long, deep thrusts from his flared head all the way to the hilt. Each powerful strike shook my entire body. I felt his balls slapping against mine making me shudder and squirt pre. I turned my head around and saw a lump in my stomach grow when he thrust forward. His cock really had rearranged my insides. Cool. He filled me up entirely with all that stallion meat and emptied me when he left. He leaned into my ear and whispered, "You close?"

"Fuck yes..." I whimpered. I gasped as he grabbed my cock and ground it with his hoof against my stomach. He accelerated up to a breakneck pace in my ass. He pushed himself all the way to his balls and pulled out a couple inches before pushing himself back in.

He took his free hoof and guided my lips to his for a sloppy, but passionate kiss. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I let his tongue wrap around and dance with mine. His tongue was powerful and I couldn't really think straight. All I knew was that Prench kissing between two cock buddies was a normal and wonderful thing. It might have made sense except for the sensory overload of all these sensations. I had to break the kiss, because I felt my body coil up, ready for release.

"F-fuck, I'm coming!" I sputtered.

"Me t-too," AJ grunted back.

Every part of me went rigid, except for my wings which flapped wildly, as Applejack pumped hot streams of cum from my cock. My seed stained my chest and the grass below white. My vision blurred as I could barely comprehend all the pleasure I was experiencing at once, and my attempts at vocalizing it was best described as long strings of delirious profanity and moaning. Mostly moaning.

Applejack gave one last heavy thrust, pushing me into the semen covered grass, and came deep inside. Long, hot jets of thick seed quickly filled me and leaked from my abused plot-hole. Then he kept to coming. I couldn't believe he was still coming, there was no way his balls had THAT much. I shouted, "Put it in my mouth!" Thinking that I could make less of a mess if I just drank the rest of it. He pulled out, unplugging my ass and letting the fountain of cum pour from my gaping asshole. He shot a load onto my back, before he flipped me over. He shot another load on my chest before rushed to shove his flare into my mouth. I stretched wide to cover his huge flare with my lips as another load struck against the back of my throat. I gagged, but tried to gulp down the rest of his apple flavored seed. After one taste I wouldn't dare waste another drop, so I wrapped my tongue around his flare and my hooves around his shaft. I tried to pump what was left of his balls into my mouth. There were a couple of creamy mouthfuls left and I savored every drop. A good cock buddy never let anything go to waste.

Applejack kept pumping me with his hooves, squeezing what little was left in me. He pulled my still stiff length upward and dragged his himself above it. Then he dropped down. I felt the hot walls of his ass surround my entire cock, squeezing and pushing against it. I curled up and I somehow came again inside of him. It was a small load, but it caused Applejack to moan and squirt another stream on my chest.

I wanted to scoop some of the delicious apple seed from my chest into my mouth, but I was just too sleepy. Applejack showed his exhaustion by passing out on top of me with my cock still inside. I could feel my own semen leaking from his ass on to my balls. Unfortunately, he weighed a lot more than I did, so I couldn't move his stupid Earth Pony genetics off my tired body. I decided to upgrade him to cuddle buddy to take advantage of the situation and turn this into a sticky mid-afternoon sleepover. I gave him a cuddle buddy kiss good-nap and passed out.

"And that's how were here now," Rainbow Blitz stated matter-of-factly while he raised a cuffed hoof to point to the jail cell they were sitting in.

"And public indecency is against the law," a pink policemare added.

"We were on private property!" Applejack exclaimed, also wearing cuffs, while he banged on the blue cell bars.

"Private property that was still in public eye. We only know about this because of an anonymous complaint."

"It's my land and if I wanna fuck my boyfriend until we pass out in a cum covered mess, then that's my right as a tax paying Equestrian citizen!"

"Boyfriend?!"

"Damn right you're my boyfriend after that!"

"Dude, I'm totally not gay."

"Blitz, are you still in denial?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. We just had completely straight, pleasant exchange of stallion bonding."

"That story didn't sound anything like a straight bonding experience," the policemare interjected as she adjusted her collar and coughed.

"I know! Blitz just doesn't want to admit that he likes it in the butt, because he thinks it makes him seem girly!"

"I'm the stallion-ist stallion in Ponyville." Blitz looked away with a huff.

"Will you both just shut up!" A lavender alicorn raised his hooves to massage his temples. "Ugh, how much is parole?"

"Yes, Prince Dusk Shine, you may simply issue a royal pardon, your highness."

"I know, but how much is the parole for this."

"I apologize for over speaking, your highness. It's 400 bits in total."

Applejack and Rainbow Blitz both shied away from making direct eye contact with their furious friend as he pondered the best way to deal with this situation.

"I told y'all we shoulda got Elusive to take care of this."

"Are you kidding me? Think of all the crazy rumors he'd start telling! I don't care if he'd never ask for the money back, I don't want him adding more fuel to the fire that I might be gay."

"Sugarcube, the entire town already knows your gay."

"Shut up! I can't believe you perverts! You two just can't hold it for two seconds. You know how much damage control I'm going to have to do now? You know how much I hate censoring the local media, but if word got out that the elements of harmony are a bunch of sex crazed exhibitionists, do you know how much that would hurt Prince Solaris' image!? Do you understand how disappointed he would be if he knew I had such depraved friends?!"

A series of frustrated, unintelligible grunts and sounds left Dusk Shine's mouth ending with the jail cell being ripped open.

"Royal decree to transfer of issue of punishment to me, Prince Dusk Shine. This is verbal law!"

"You can do that?" Both Applejack and Blitz asked in unison.

"Umm, yes sir, though I could have opened it for you," The policemare nervously responded.

"Both of you are coming with me to the palace." Dusk's unicorn horn glowed a light purple and surrounded AJ and Blitz in a similar light. They were lifted against their will and floated out of the broken jail cell. They struggled to get back to solid ground, but the angry prince pulled them along outside the police station.

"W-wait! Your highness! Those hoof-cuffs are police property!"

His frown slowly turned into devilish grin and his eye twitched a little.

"Don't worry, I'll return them. I just need them for right now."

Applejack and Rainbow Blitz looked at each other knowing this might be the last day of their lives as Dusk Shine carried them to his palace on the edge of Ponyville.

Author's Note

Oh wow, you actually made it through? I hope you liked it, maybe if it wasn't sexy, at least I hope you found it funny. Like I said in the description, this is my first fanfic and first clopfic. Please let me know what you think in the comments below. Criticism is encouraged.