Epic Brony Rap Battles of Equestria

by dustybronybooks

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy
Length: 1705

bronies go head to head in this amazing story

hello and welcome to the amazing
rap battles where ponies and bronies battle for the crown!
get your hooves ready for the stomping!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-08 19:59:04 UTC

Twilight sparkle v.s Trixie

It was a nice evening in ponyville. Twilight was re orginacing her  lybrary when she heard a loud rumble and a knock on her door.

She opened the door and was surpriced to see all of ponyville. she steped out with spike right behind her and saw trixie on stage with DJ-PON3. "what going on here?"she asked  then trixie spoke through the microphone ''THE GREAT AND POWERFULL TRIXIE CHALLENGES YOU TO A RAP BATTLE"

Twilight blinked then rooled her eyes

"DONT ROLL YOUR EYES AT TRIXIE" she boomed

"fine lets get this over with"she sighed

Twilioght go on stage and and took position in front of her and Vinyl smirked '' Epic Brony Rap Battles of Equestria, The great and powerful trixie vs. Twilight sparkle BEGIN!''

Trixie:

They call me Trixie! The master bitch of all Magic Spells!

You say your name is Twilight Sparkle? That don't ring any bells!

I've slayed an Ursa Major! All your feats are just minor!

I'll take you back to school, Twi, and show you who's the best rhymer!

I got crowds from everywhere! They come to see my magic!

My spells are straight electrifying, I'm droppin gods! It's tragic!

So check yourself, you impudent foal! I'll make you stagger!

By the way... Your horn looks kinda limp. Go and take some viagra.

And while you're at it, just put the books down, you freaking nerd

You'd have to read to know how to breathe! You're fucking that absurd!

I thought the books were better than you! Ed and Bella still got more class!

So just take a pass, cause if you keep comin' then Trixie will come beat your ass.

the crowd cheered and stomped their hooves  then twilight gave a comeback

TWILIGHT:

Dear Princess Celestia, I learned this today:

Some mares like Trixie talk shit. What else can I say?

To make it worse, they're cocky; always leavin' you sweatin'

But when they're talkin' like a bitch, THEN GO and TEACH THEM A LESSON!

You say your spells are Great and Powerful? I learned from the best!

You're just a washed up Vegas reject who failed her Magic Test!

I got a dragon with wits that are sharper than razors!

What kind of friends you got, bitch? Some smoke machines and some lasers?!

Magic is my Element! I do not need to be told!

Bitch, I was castin' stronger magic when I was just a foal!

You're a fraud; a bigger chicken than Scootaloo!

I was hoof-chosen by the Princess! Now where the fuck does that leave you?

trixie scoffed

Trxie:

Hoof-chosen by a troll? You're a pretty dense bloke!

She probably just chose as one of her big fucking jokes!

I'll beat you down, Twi. Make ya cry so, best watch what you're startin!

I'll leave you so stunned, they'll send you back to magic kindergarden.

twilight griminced and finished the battle,

Twilight:

Now Spike, Take a letter cause the bitch doesn't know

The kind of Nightmare Night she's bringing when she put on this show

Silly Mare. Trix are for kids, you fucking failure!

But don't worry, girl, though you suck, you still got Snips and Snails.

TheDumplingz vs Y.A.C and Sickness

one day kyle was on his way home from canterlot when pipsqueak a young pegasus stoped him and demanded a rap battle

TheDumplingz]

Yeah, I hope you're ready mister Yelling At Cats,

I would insert a random swear here but I'm actually not like that.

And this is the point where I insult the size of your penis,

But really why would I do that? It's not like I've seen it!

It's strange though, you use that cuss in every single rap.

Insulting people's dick sizes; how would you even know that crap?

And how you randomly call people just to show off,

I really think some of us just have had enough!

Now it's hard for me to insult you, cause i'm a nice guy!

It's like if you tried to put a mic up to Fluttershy!

But it's funny how you rap about doing things with ponies -

Off in your little fantasies cause you got no homies.

Yes, you live in America, have the intelligence of a grape.

Have the fitness of a sloth and the attitude of an ape.

But I do admit you can freestyle pretty well -

But I say your fadoodling flow should go the flom to hell.

[Yelling At Cats]

There's a word for what you're feeling kid. I think it's called "rage."

I'd really fuck you up right now but I'm afraid you're underage,

You don't wanna swear? What kind of rapper are you?

Too fucking bad. Fuck your songs and fuck you too!

You're being serious right now? You show no class.

You want a collab? Sure, but you'll have to kiss my ass.

I'll make you wish you were a tree when I'm done you fucking fairy.

By the way I still think your girlfriend's imaginary!

And what's with your voice? I can barely understand.

It sounds like your father molested your throat with his hand.

Why don't you go back to your channel, and whine to your girl,

Before Cats treats you like a scratchpad and fucks your world.

Better yet Pipsqueak, why don't you shut the fuck up?

I make a living off of kids like you. Enough is enough.

I'm laying down the law, so sit down and quit messing,

Before I write a letter to Celestia and teach your bitch ass a lesson!

[Pipsqueak]

Yes I am 13 - that's why I haven't sex, But you're twice my age and neither have you I bet!

Come to think to think of it, I think you've been sucking some cocks

So I'm gonna have to put this cat right back in its litter box.

 Get the fuck out? No! I'm polite so ladies first: When it comes to insults you're just the fucking worst

You could never effect me - you can try as you might!

You wanna make a letter? I bet you can't even fucking write!

[Yelling At Cats]

Hey, news flash Pipsqueak: You're my litter box,

Why don't you get the fuck back to sucking MicTheMic's cock,

You wanna take this seriously? I just do this for fun!

And as far as I'm concerned bitch I've already won.

When it comes to insults you're as dry as can be,

You wanna talk shit? YOU'RE the one who challenged me!

I'm gonna eat these Dumplingz with a side of stew,

Respect your fucking elders. I'm the one who taught you!

sickness noticed them and teleported next to y.a.c and dumplingz wanted to rap battle him as well.

he  groweld at him and dj pon 3 got another beat to play on her music wubs.

TheDumplingz )

yeah sickness your name really describes youself

cause by the time i'm done with you, you will be in critical health

you said i was a pussy? yeah, your probably right

but that still dosen't mean i can't put up a fight

oh you try to act tough with your little cigarete

Smoking dosen't make you cool, it just makes you dead

ha you think your mane is neet, showing it off all the time

i know your little secret sickness, your bald its all a lie.

And even if it wasen't a wig, how did it get that way?

i bet you only take a shower eveery couple hundred days

Also you said clopped since you came out of the womb?

i bet your gonna clop untill i delvier you to your tomb

thats sorta disguitng bro i have to admit

but i think you might have some weird messed up mental shit

now look at youself, you where a born a disguiting child

now goodbey sickness i'm sending you back into the wild

( Sickness )

Oh look at Pipsqueak, trying to fit into the big boy shoes

Well son, I'm afraid your biting off a bit more than you can chew

Cats took it easy on you, but by the time I'm through

They'll be using dental records to identify you

You think I'm fucked head, that there might be something wrong with me?

No shit, I make cupcakes look like a comedy

And I hope you put up a fight, cause I like my victims feisty

Hold you down under the bathtub while I'm sippin on this ice tea

Why ice tea? The coffee that I'm making's still brewin

Play Tombstone loud so the household doesn't hear what I'm doin

Then I'll dress like an Indian and throw my own little teaparty

Scream like a lunatic and molest your whole fuckin' family

( Sickness )

And my mane, oh yeah, you just had to go there

You can tell a guy's desperate when he brings up hair

( TheDumplingz )

Your think your mane is better than everyone else your a hairist?

no wait, thats not a word, is should say your a narcissist

( Sickness )

Well it's kind of hard to not be when you look this pretty

I think you're jealous 'cause your birdnest of a hairstyle's shitty

( TheDumplingz )

yes i do complement your very nice topee

how long did it take you to make that? a couple of days?

( Sickness )

Shut the fuck up Pip, it's obvious you're just stalling

Yeah you had a good run Starboy, but now you're just falling

( TheDumplingz )

I inspiried you sickness if it weren't for me you would be nothing

i think that mane might be compensating for something

( Sickness )

Kid, I think you're starting to develop a fixation

If all you have to rap about's my hair and compensation

( TheDumplingz )

oh don't worry sickness i have much more to say

like how instead of visitng family you play minecraft all day

( Sickness )

What's wrong Pip? You promised me a fight, I'm still waiting.

I've gotten more of a struggle from my dick masturbating.

(TheDumplingz)

sickness, do you know why i ain't doing much?

its because your so worthless you don't even desearve a punch

they then beeat him up and left like a boss