It was in the library, where a certain lady sells things. Ointments, salves, powders, sovereign, remedies, nectars,
concoctions, decoctions, and potions. But she was about to make a deal that changed a young man's life to help win the affections of another certain woman that he had strong feelings for. But what was sure to come was a very bizarre, unexpected change of events...
And now I would like to introduce to you, Mr. Spike. Age: Late teens-early twenties. Occupation: Being in love. But not just being in love. Being madly, passionately, illogically, miserably, all-consumingly in love with a young woman named Rarity who has a vague recollection of his face and even less than a passing interest. But very soon, you'll see a switch. Because young Mr. Spike is about to take a meaningful trip into...
The Equestria Zone
It was night, and Spike was out for a late night stroll. Casually walking about, enjoying the moonlight and the stars above. But he was not out for just anything, he went out to go see the love of his life, Miss Rarity. Rarity was a dazzling woman with good looks, charm, and just an amazing personality. And Spike was drawn all over her, but the thing about Spike was, he didn't know when to quit. He came by her boutique just around every week or so to drop off flowers or chocolates, and occasionally a love letter. But all those things would soon make their way to the trash. Rarity was not interested in somebody as young as Spike, and she has tried to tell him. But Spike was as hardheaded as ever, not getting the message. Well hopefully, things will turn out in his favor this time as he finally approaches Carousel Boutique.
"Rarity!" He called her name, knocking on the door. "Rarity, it's you know who!"
"Who?" A voice came from inside. "Who's there?"
"Rarity, it's me. Spike." He said looking through the peep hole in the door. "I just came by to drop off some flowers for you."
"Thanks, but no thanks Spike." Rarity quickly rejected him like always.
"Aw, come on Rarity!" Spike started to plead.
"No Spike, I don't want them. And I would greatly appreciate it if you just left."
"At least let me look at you..." Spike begged.
The door to the boutique opened just a crack, and Rarity stuck half of her face out.
"There, you got your look. Now go away."
"Rarity, why won't you give me a chance...?"
Rarity sighed, having gone over this before. "Spike, I told you...You're a nice guy, and I'm sure you'll make some nice girl very happy. But I'm just not interested in somebody like you, now you need to stop being so persistent and stubborn and just go home."
And like that, Rarity closed the door, walking back inside.
"Okay...bye..." Spike walked away with a very depressed look upon his face. "What do I have to do to make her like me...?" He sulked.
"I've tried everything...flowers, poems, serenading her...and nothing just seems to work!" He starts to yell from frustration. "There has to be something to make Rarity love me! I don't care what it is, but just something!"
As if by some magical coincidence, a piece of paper fluttering around in the wind found its way upon Spike's face.
"Hey!" He yelled out, picking the paper off his face. "What's the big ide-huh?" He stopped in mid sentence, reading on what the paper said.
Twilight Sparkle
Books, Potions, And Other Wonderful Items
Golden Oaks Library
"Golden Oaks Library?" Spike asked, reading the poster word for word. "Hey, I know where that is! Maybe I can find something there to help me win a chance with Rarity!"
Spike began to run quickly as possible to the library, not wanting to waste any time.
"Come on, come on..." He makes it to the library door and proceeds to knock.
The door to the library creepily slid open. A dark, mysterious aura hung around as if it were telling him not to enter.
"Who's there?!" A voice came out from the shadow. "Ooh! Do I have a customer?!"
"Um...uh, yeah but-" Spike began to say but was cut off.
"Splendid!" A light shone through the library and Twilight, the owner, stood happily. "My first customer in so long! What can I do for you?!"
"Well, you see, I'm kind of-" Spike tried to get another sentence in, but once again, he was cut off.
"Can I interest you in one of my numerous book selections?"
"Uh, actually-"
"Or maybe I could interest you in a few of my tonics, or potions, or remedies?"
"Well, the thing about-"
"What?! What is it that you want?!"
Spike shrugged his shoulders and looked at the ground. "Rarity..."
"Rarity...?" She asked confused.
"Yeah...that's all I want..."
"Rarity...I might have known that all he wants is Rarity..." She starts to sadly walk over to a pile of books on the floor and sits on them. "I offer him practically everything, and all he wants is Rarity..."
"Yeah...and I guess there's nothing you can do about that, is there?"
"Please," She scoffed. "That's the simplest of all. The elementary parlor trick of my science." She looked up at him. "You disappoint me..."
"You don't understand." Spike walked to her. "You see, I'm in love with somebody named Rarity. But she's not in love with me, and..." Spike stopped his sentence and began walking to the door. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."
"I do." Twilight put her hand on his shoulder. "I can make it so she'll love you."
"How..?" Spike asked with full attention, turning his face back to her.
Twilight cracked a smile. "I promise you, she'll never leave your side...When she isn't telling you she loves you, she'll be gazing at you lovingly. She won't even eat before you do...And nothing, NOTHING, will be too much for you to ask of her. She'll worship you, she'll beg for kisses, and weep for joy at your touch...And if in passing time, you should perhaps look at another girl or even...do a little more then look...she'll feel hurt. But she'll forgive you, and love you just the same...Frankly, you'd get the same shake from a Cocker Spaniel..."
"But that's wonderful!" Spike said, grabbing hold of Twilight's shoulders. "That's all in the world I want, my Rarity's love!"
"His Rarity's love..." Twilight said in a mocking tone.
"Now...the stuff that will make Rarity love me...how much would one bottle be?"
"Oh, that...It's only a dollar.."
Spike squealed happily, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a dollar.
"There!" He slammed it down. "One dollar!"
"You fool..." She said taking a bottle of the love potion from the shelf and giving to him.
"Now, this stuff won't hurt her, will it?"
She looks at him with dead serious eyes. "If anyone's going to get hurt, it's going to be you. And I don't expect you to believe me..."
"So, how does this work?" Spike asked, taking the bottle from her.
"Just put it in a drink and you'll get what you want."
"I don't really believe this, but...I'll try it." Spike said with a big smile across his face. "Thanks Twilight...If this works, I'll be-"
"The happiest man in the world..." She finished the sentence for him.
Spike started to get a bit creeped out by her, and so he finally took his leave with the bottle of love potion. And later on, after buying a bottle of cider, he returns to Carousel Boutique to test if the love potion really works.
"Rarity!" Spike knocked on her door. "Oh, Rarity!"
"Go away Spike!" She yelled through the door.
"Oh please Rarity?" He begged. "All I ask for is just one minute."
"No!" She sounded quite frustrated. "I'm tired of you coming around like this Spike, now just go home already!"
"I have some cider with me." He said showing the bottle through the peep hole in the door. "There's just enough for two glasses, and all I ask for is five minutes. Please...?" He asked, sounding more desperate.
"Ugh...fine." Rarity gave up. "But five minutes only." She opened the door, allowing Spike to come in.
"Thank you Rarity!" Spike said cheerfully.
"Yes, yes, now let's get this over with." She begins to walk upstairs and Spike starts to follow her. "I have to put on my dress Spike, just wait right here." She goes upstairs to change.
Spike looked up to make sure she was gone. "I really hope this works..." He opened the bottle, and poured each glass with cider, and one glass with love potion.
Rarity descended down the stairs, wearing a nice, blue dress. "Alright, I'm back." She lifted her glass. "You're time is almost up." She finished her drink in one gulp.
Spike drank his as well, watching Rarity closely to see if the potion took effect.
"Well, thank you for stopping by Spike." Rarity spoke with no change at all. "Now, I do believe it's time you left."
Spike got up, feeling sad about the potion being a fraud. "Alright...bye..." He walked over to the door, only to stop as soon as he got there. "Wait! Rarity...could I just have...one little kiss?"
"No Spike, let's not make this longer than it has to be."
Spike stood there by the door, his face hung low like a sad puppy.
"Oh..alright." She sighed. "But a QUICK kiss."
"Of course! As quick as I can be."
"Good, now just do it already." She closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss.
Spike leaned in with her, his lips gently touching her lips.
Rarity opened her eyes. "Alright, you had your drink and your kiss. Now, please go." She opened the door for him, trying to force him out.
Spike walked out of the room, feeling like a complete idiot. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted her..." He said looking at the empty potion bottle, when all of a sudden, a hand was placed upon his shoulder.
"Spike!" Rarity stopped him. "Perhaps I am being quite...rude to force you out like that..." She started walking closer to him. "I don't mean to be..."
"I know..." Spike said, trying to leave again.
"Spike," She called to him again.
"Yes?" Spike asked, turning back around.
"Well, maybe I should..." She got closer to him. "Be a little bit nicer..." She instantly grabbed Spike and pulled him into a long passionate kiss.
"What's happening...?" Rarity asked, breaking the kiss. "What's happening...?"
"What difference?!" Spike asked happily. "Come here baby!"
Rarity let out a happy squeal and grabbed onto Spike for another kiss.
Months Later
Spike was sitting in his chair, reading a book peacefully. When he felt that he was being watched. He pulled the book down and noticed Rarity kneeling by his chair, looking deep in his eyes.
"Uh, Rarity...? You can sit in a chair, you know."
"Oh yes, my darling husband." Rarity never broke the gaze from her eyes to his. "I'm sorry if this bothers you, it's just that I love to kneel at your feet."
Spike grew a bit uncomfortable. "Well...Kneel in a chair, please..."
Rarity nodded her head, and sat in the chair right in front of him. Still gazing lovingly in his eyes.
"Is there anything I could possibly do for you, Spike my darling?"
"Uh, no thank you Rarity." He asked, feeling a bit uneasy.
"Are you sure? Anything at all, you name it and I'll do it."
"Rarity, please." Spike grew annoyed. "Just...sit and relax."
She nods and sits there. "Maybe I could rub your back?"
"No thank you Rarity..." His patience started to slip, going on the verge of losing it. "Rarity, I need to go out for a bit." Spike got out of his chair and started walking towards the door. "I'll be back quickly, okay?"
"Oh, yes my love.." She said giving him a kiss on the lips before he leaves.
Spike walks out of the door, and as soon as he does, he bolts right back to the Library to try to find an antidote.
"Come on, open up!" Spike knocked on the door loudly a dozen times. "Open up already!"
The door finally creaked open. "Welcome to-oh. It's just you again."
"I know, and I'm sorry for coming too late, I just really need your help."
She lets him inside. "Why? Isn't everything going so well for you? Aren't you getting everything you dreamed of?"
"No, well, I thought I would be, but this is too much. She's everywhere, I can't escape her. It's too much love!" Spike was close to a breakdown.
"Now, settle down. I know just what you need to fix this little problem?"
Spike shot his head up at her. "Really?! How?"!
She climbed up to a shelf, and pulled out a bottle that read 'Glove Cleaner.'
"Give her some of this...it will make everything right again." She handed it to Spike.
"Why, what is it? Some kind of antidote?"
"Well...you could say that..." She smirked. "Just drop some in her drink and I guarantee everything will be back to the way it was."
"Oh, thank you." He reaches into his wallet. "How much?"
"Oh, no charge. I'll let this one go for free." She started to let out a creepy laugh.
"Right, well...thanks." He runs out the door and goes back to Rarity.
"Oh, no...thank you!" Twilight let out a maniacal laugh.
Spike ran back home, bringing back a bottle of cider. "Rarity, dear. I'm back." Spike walked into the living room.
"Spike, my darling!" She gave him a tight hug. "Oh, I missed you!" She started kissing him, but Spike pushed her back a little.
"Before we get to the kissing, how about a little cider?" Spike asked, holding up the bottle and two glasses.
"Oh, how romantic!" She walked over to a little table where they usually have their drinks.
"Allow me to pour." Spike began to poor the cider in the glasses. "Hey Rarity! What's that?" He points over to the corner.
"Huh? What?" She turns her back to him, giving him time to put the 'antidote' in her drink.
"I didn't see anything darling."
"Oh, must've been my imagination." Spike started to pick up his glass, and he saw Rarity about to go for hers.
"Wait." Spike stopped her. "Maybe a kiss before the drinks?"
"Ooh, of course!" Rarity grabbed Spike and gave him a deep passionate kiss.
During the kiss, Spike opened his eyes and swapped the glasses.
"Okay." Spike broke the kiss. "Let's just have our drinks now."
"Oh, wait a minute dear..." She said stopping Spike.
"What is it?" He asked confused.
"I have a great surprise for you..." She smiled, leaning in closer to him.
"A s-surprise...?" He gulped with fear. "Like what...?"
Rarity stood up. "I made these for us darling." She revealed a freshly knit baby's outfit. "Ta-da!"
"Uhh...." Spike sat there completely frozen, only able to sit and stare at what she presented to him.
"Isn't this great Spikey-Wikey?! We're going to start a family!" She cuddled near Spike, holding him and kissing him all over.
Spike remained speechless, and eventually passed out from the utter shock.
Rarity shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to kiss him more.
Mr. Spike, who has discovered at this late date that love can be as sticky as a vat of molasses. As unpalatable as spoiled yeast. And as all-consuming as a six alarm fire in a bamboo and canvas tent...
THE END
