Drunk Bon-Bon vs. Berry Punch

by Duke of Canterlot

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Lyra, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2469

Bon-Bon takes on a challenge. She thinks she can outdrink Berry Punch.

Disclaimer: This story has a lot of swearing, especially towards the end.. just thought I'd warn you.

Bon-Bon and Lyra go to the local bar in Ponyville for a girlish night of fun.
However, things get competitive when Bon-Bon announces to all in the bar that she can outdrink Berry Punch.. let the games begin!

Published 2014-06-12 02:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-12 02:10:05 UTC

Girls' Night Out

Bon-Bon simply wanted to spend Friday night at home and relax.
However, that wasn't what Lyra wanted.

"Bon-Bon, I just wanna have fun tonight!! Let's go to the Ponyville Bar."

"I don't know if I'm in the mood, Lyra."

"Ugh", groaned Lyra, "you're never in the mood, but we always have fun when we're there."

"It's been a busy week at work and I haven't gotten enough sleep."

"Sleep is for the weak, c'mon Bon-Bon, we're going!"

Bon-Bon sighed. She wasn't going to be able to convince her marefriend otherwise.

"Get on your party clothes and let's go", shouted Lyra.

"You mean nothing at all?"

"Exactly!"

O'Derby's was a loud and dark bar. Especially on a Friday night. It was so crowded. Bon-Bon could swear that everypony in Ponyville was there... she could see some familiar faces. There was Berry Punch, chatting confidently with a large circle of friends. Berry Punch was the "party mare".. at least when it came to drinking. That title would normally go to Pinkie Pie but Pinkie abstained from alcohol. At O'Derby's, Berry Punch was the super party pony.

"Two beers to start off", said Lyra to Booze Brewer, the bartender of O'Derby's.

"Two beers coming right up', said Booze, "Lyra, I'm assuming this is for you and your lovely marefriend?"

"Most certainly", responded Lyra with a grin.

Bon-Bon blushed upon hearing she was lovely, but surely the bartender was just being polite. Bon-Bon felt very much out of her element at O'Derby's.

"Umm.. Lyra, what kind of beer? We have a lot of choices here."

"Give me your strongest kind of beer."

"Two Dark Magic coming right up."

"I don't know if that is good for earth ponies", said Bon-Bon to Lyra.

"It's fine, just ask Berry Punch!"

Of course.. that damn alcoholic has drunk everything under Celestia's sun.

Bon-Bon watched as Lyra levitated her glass of beer with her horn. Bon-Bon needed to think of more excuses.

"This smells strong", said Bon-Bon to Lyra.

"Stop being a negative Nancy and enjoy the sweet taste of Dark Magic."

Sweet taste? Yea, right...

Bon-Bon picked up the glass.

"Bonbonbonbonbonbonbonbonbon, let's make a toast! A toast to our love!!"

"To our love", responded Bon-Bon softly.

Bon-Bon took a sip of the beer and Lyra drank a lot of it.
It tasted awful to Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon could see her marefriend trying to swallow the large amount of beer she let flow into her mouth.
Bon-Bon was tempted to make Lyra laugh causing her to spit out some of the beer..but much of that beer would probably land on Bon-Bon, so she kept quiet.

Lyra swallowed all the beer and said to Bon-Bon, "C'mon, drink more of the Dark Magic!!"

"I think it tastes gross."

"Ugh, you clearly don't like the finest of beers."

"Hey", shouted Booze, "Bonbonbonbonbonbonbonbonbon is a lady and she deserves a lady's drink."

Lyra giggled and asked, "Hey Boozie, what about me?"

"I've seen enough from you to know that you're certainly not a lady, Lyra."

"Shut up, Boozie! I bet I can outdrink you."

"You might be able to. It's well-known that stallions have higher tolerance for alcohol than mares", commented Bon-Bon.

"Oh shut up, Bonnie", said Lyra lightly punching Bon-Bon on the shoulder.

"So, what are these lady drinks you have for me?"

"I got quite a few choices for you: the Tropical Raspberry Margarita, the Applejack, the Sonic Rainboom, the White Cosmpolitan, the Raspberry Cream Pie, and the "Soft" Raspberry Lemonade."

"I hope the soft raspberry lemonade is as soft as it sounds."

"Is that what you would like, Bon-Bon?"

Suddenly Bon-Bon heard a, "You should totally try the Sonic Rainboom!!"

Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash was with Pinkie Pie.

"The Sonic Rainboom is awesome!! After my success at the Young Fliers competition, that drink was actually named after me", said Rainbow.

"That's err.. great.. to know", responded Bon-Bon.

"C'mon, go for the Sonic Rainboom! I'll buy you the drink."
Hearing Rainbow said that made Lyra laugh uncontrollably.

"Well..", said Bon-Bon nervously, "if you are willing to pay for it."

"It's so funny watching you ponies in the bar", giggled Pinkie.
Pinkie then took a sip of water and said with a smile, "Don't become an alcoholic, Bonnie!"

"I don't think any pony here will have to worry about that.. I'm not like Lyra."

Lyra gasped and then said, "Me? An alcoholic!?!? Nonsense.."

"Where did those two beers go?"

"In my tummy.. hey! I'm a fast drinker.. and look, not drunk yet. I can handle a lot more. Two more Dark Magics, Booze!"

"So, I'll get you that Sonic Rainboom?", asked Rainbow.

"Yea, I guess you will."

"Awesome! Two Sonic Rainbooms coming up!!"

The Sonic Rainboom was quite the girly drink.. which was surprising given Rainbow Dash was such a tomboy.
It was a shot with three layers: the bottom layer was grenadine, the middle layer was banana liquer, and the third layer was a blue curacao.

"Don't forget the strawberry", shouted Rainbow.

Booze gave Bon-Bon a Sonic Rainboom and a strawberry.

"You bite on the strawberry after taking the shot", explained Rainbow Dash.

Bon-Bon nodded.

"Alright", shouted Rainbow Dash, "let's take our shots!!"

Pinkie and Lyra joined in creating a circle.

"To the best party night ever", shouted Pinkie.

The four mares clanked their glasses together and took their respective drinks. Bon-Bon took a bite out of her strawberry.. works real well with the banana.

That Sonic Rainboom was strong, thought Bon-Bon, and good...

"That girly drink looked uggo", commented Lyra, "I'll stick with real liquor. Bartender, some Jameson for me!! I wanna get fucking drunk tonight, woooooooooo!!!!"

"I think you're already drunk", muttered Bon-Bon.

"C'mon, you liked that Sonic Rainboom didn't you?"

Bon-Bon had to admit she did.

"I don't know if you noticed", said Pinkie, "but each of those drinks were named after a certain group of six ponies.."

"Applejack? Sonic Rainboom? Yea.. I know.."

"My drink can't be too strong", said Pinkie with a smile, "I'm a teetotaler after all.'

A drunk Pinkie Pie was perhaps something this world wasn't never meant to see...

"Yea", added Rainbow Dash, "let's have some Raspberry Cream Pie! Bartender, one for me and one for Bon-Bon."

"Coming right up."

"I think I had enough booze for a while", said Bon-Bon nervously.

"What the hell", shouted Lyra, "stop being a party pooper!! Drinking is a lot of fun!!"

Yea, so why didn't Pinkie Pie drink?

The Raspberry Cream Pies were made. These were in martini glasses: 1.5 ounces of vodka, 1 ounce of Chambord, and 1.5 ounces of half and half. Booze sprinkled a pinch of nutmeg and dropped a maraschino cherry which floated on top.

"Let's go", shouted Rainbow Dash.

The four mares got into their circle again.

"To my sexyyyyyyy marefriendddd Bon-Bon", said Lyra.

"Seconded", said Rainbow.

"Thirded", added Pinkie.

The toast was made.

Bon-Bon smiled. This was actually kind of fun.

"Hey, Rainbow. Do you think it would be a good idea to try each of the Mane Six drinks?"

"Better than good", said Rainbow, "let's get this show on the road!!"

Bon-Bon tried the 'soft' raspberry lemonade (which hardly tasted like alcohol) and the white cosmopolitan. Rainbow happily had those drinks too. At this point, the world was becoming kind of funny... wow, everything looked so sexy... too sexy... everything was spinning and Bon-Bon didn't give a flying fuck.

"Heyyyyy. I'm totally handing this alcohooool thing reaaaalllly well... I bet I can out drink every pony here...."

Bon-Bon quickly changed her mind though when she saw Big McIntosh down five shots of vodka without a problem. He was with his sorta-marefriend Cheerilee.. damn, she ended up with quite the hunk.

"Never mind, Big Mac here proved me wrong... I can out drink every mare in this barrrrrr....."

Big Mac heard this and turned around.

"Woah Bonnie Bon Bon", said Big Mac, "you look different tonight."

"Looking damnnnn sexxxxyyyyy, right Big McIntosh."

Big Mac chuckled and said, "Eeyup."
He turned around and continued his conversation with Cheerliee.

"Woah", whispered Rainbow to Lyra, "Bon-Bon seems to be haaaaaaving a gooooooood tiiiiiiiime."

Lyra nodded to Rainbow and whispered back, "That's suuuuuuuper sexxxyyyyyy BonBonBonBonBonBonBonBon... I bet everrry pony is turned on just frommmm seeeeeeeing herrrrrrr."

"I'm gonna go grab some garbage bags", said Pinkie, "see ya sexy girls in a minute!"

"Yea, Pinksister", said Rainbow, "ya know we sexy!!"

"Of course! That's 100% fact. Okie dokie lokie."

Bon-Bon stood up on one of the tables and said, "Heyyyy, which mare in this barrr think she can outdrinkah mee?"

A unicorn stallion poked Bon-Bon on her flank with his horn...

"Heyyyyy, watch it therrrrre, budddyyyyyy... I can totally beat ya lame ass in a fighttt..."

"I'd like that", said the unicorn with a wink.

"YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!", shouted Bulk Biceps who was on the other side of the bar, "I WANNA SEE SOME FIGHTING YO!!!! Bon-Bon, I know who can give you a real run for your money. Let's go Berry Punch!!!!"

"Ugh, Bulk Biceps", groaned Berry Punch, "don't give me such an easy-ass bitch to compete against."

"Hooooold on a seccccy, what the hell did yooooooooo just call meeeeee!?!?!?!?!!?", said Bon-Bon.

"Easy-ass bitch", said Berry Punch, "you wanna fight me."

"I, Pokey Pierce", shouted the pervy unicorn, "am gonna put down fifty bits in favor of the sexy Bon-Bon. Berry is old news, hell yea."

"I'm gonnaaaaa put my moneeeeeeeeey down all for Bonnie Bon Bon.... go Bon-Bon, you will fuck herrrrrrrr upppp", shouted Lyra.

"Sorrryyyyy Bon-Bon", said Rainbow, "buuuuuuuut if we bets on dis shit, I'm gonna go go for Berry Punch... but you more sexy than Berry Punch..."

"Fucka you.. Rainbow.. I'm gonna win this shit", said Bon-Bon.

"Naaaah dude, you know that Berry Punch is like the tank of aaaaallll of Ponyvillah?"

"Weeeeeeeelllllll, I'm liek da double tank and my guns are gonna shoot down that berry bitch."

"Prove it", shouted Berry Punch, "how much have you had to drink?"

"I c-c-c-c-c-can't rememberrrrrrrr...."

"I'll speak for Ms. Bon-Bon", said Pokey, "she had four shots so far."

"Good", said Berry, "we're on even ground then. I had four shots of Jack. Notice how I still speak like a normal pony. I haven't even started yet for the night."

"Weeeelllll, I caaaaaaaan steel beattttt yoooooou anyways."

"I'm going all Jack tonight. Alright, Booze. Keep giving me and Bon-Bon shots of Jack Daniels until one of us fucking gives up."

Bon-Bon could see many of those stupid-ass coward ponies putting in money on Berry Punch's side. The only ponies who put in money who supported Bon-Bon were Lyra, Pokey, and that wall-eyed pegasus

"Heeeyyyyy guys, I'm gonna make you allllll so fuckkkkking riche tooonight!!"

Pinkie loved nights like these. She got so much joy over the happy drunk ponies. It was also how Pinkie got so good at pranking. She was a good friend though and made sure to pick up four large garbage bags from Sugarcube Corner.

She bounced back to O'Derby's. Cheerful as ever. It was cute seeing the normally reserved and somewhat uptight Bon-Bon become drunk. She was probably going to be even funnier than drunk Twilight.

"Alright", said Booze, "this is really fucking stupid! But let's do it!!!"

"I'm gonnnaaaaa take you and pisssss allllll overrrrrr youuuuu Berry Puuuuuuunch!!!"

"I'm giving you one last chance", said Berry to Bon-Bon, "you can leave now. I don't think you know how much I can handle."

"I've hearrrrrrd, I just thinkie that I bettie than yooooouuuuuuuuuuu."

Berry rolled her eyes and shrugged.

"Bottoms up", shouted Booze.

One shot.
Two shot.
Three shot.
Four shot.
Five shot.
Six shot.

The world became all spinny for Bon-Bon. She was gonna beat Berry Punch.
But where was she anyway? She could barely see anything anymore.

"Heeeeey", said Berry Punch, "the driiink is right in front of you. You said you could beat me, right?"

That voice. Goddamn it. How could that bitch only be a little tipsy. But the cream-colored earth pony was in bad shape right now. Her vision was so fucked up now that she had trouble reaching the shot glass.

"I don't want you to die", said Berry, "why don't we say that I win and call it a night?"

"Nooooooooo...... Iiiiiiiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm da best and da sexxxxxiest maaaaaaaaare in allllll of Equestriaaaaaaland!!! I shaaaaal be victeeeeooooorioussssssss!!!"

"I'll stop drinking", said Berry.

"Yoooooooouuuuuuu meeeeeeeeeeeen thaaaaaaaat Iiiiiiiii....."

"Yes, you drunk bitch", snapped Berry, "you fucking win, ugh!! I'm going back to my corner."

"Hey you", barked a large minotaur, "you're gonna finish up this competition, Berry Punch. I put in a lot of money for you."

"Well sorrrrrrryyyyy, Iron Will..maybe next time, don't be such a fucking retard!!!"

"I have a better idea", bellowed Iron Will, "Iron Will be proxy for Berry Punch."

"Hahahahahahahahahaha", laughed Bon-Bon, "Iiiiiiiiii cancacancancacancan out drinkkkkkkkkk da minotaurrrrrrrrrr....."

"Yea, whatever", shrugged Berry, "I'm done with these shenanigans. C'mon Bulk Biceps, I know where we can have some more fun."

"YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", shouted Bulk Biceps. The two of them left O'Derby's.

"Hold oooooooon a secccccc", shouted Lyra, "da deal waaaas that Bon-Bon had to beat Berry Punch aaaaaand she did."

"Iron Will bet a thousand bits on Berry Punch. He will not lose such money", said Iron Will.

Pinkie entered and saw Iron Will and the inebriated Bon-Bon by their shot glasses.

"Hold on here, you meanie monster", snarled Pinkie, "first, you fuck over my friend Fluttershy and now you're fucking over my friend Bon-Bon."

"Ummmm.... uh.... Bon-Bon looks fine, right?"

"Iiiiiiiiii da sooooooooppeerrrrrr sexxxxxxyyyyyyy", slurred Bon-Bon.

"Heh heh", said Iron Will nervously, "ummmm....". Iron Will took a shot and ran off with his thousand bits and all the money from the betting pool on Bon-Bon.

"Whaaaattttt, Pinksie, I tought yoooooo were da superrrrrrrr funnyyyyy poooooooonnnnyyyy."

"I'm going to save your life... let's go to Sugarcube Corner... Lyra and Rainbow Dash, you two too. La la la la la la la la!!!"
Pinkie bounced out of O'Derby's with her three friends.
Pinkie noticed that Pokey was following them. She gave him a "Pinkamena" glare and the young unicorn turned around in the other direction.

After a lot of puking from all three (but especially Bon-Bon) and giving the three mares water, they all fell asleep.
Pinkie giggled. They were all going to be alright after their hangovers tomorrow.

Bon-Bon woke up the next morning with a horrible headache and smelled like vomit... ugh... what the hell happened?
Why was she in Pinkie's bed at Sugarcube Corner? She looked at her arm and noticed that there was a penis drawn on it with a Sharpie.

Drunk Bon-Bon, that's what happened.

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed the story! Just a girls' night out.

For where the mixed drinks came from... http://mlpforums.com/topic/44236-mlp-mixed-drinks/