Derpy Pie

Derpy Pie - Prologue

By: Pnoy

***

The grey, wall-eyed pegasus eagerly awaited by her stove. 'Hmmm, normally my muffin would be done by now!' She stared confused at the uncooperative appliance. "Why won't you give me my muffin!" The pegasus frowned.

She waited for a few more moments, increasingly getting frustrated. "Hey mister! Who you tryn'a play me for! I-" As if a great revelation had descended upon Derpy's being, "Oh yeah!" she merrily stated, turning the oven's temperature knob, to the best fitting mode, "muffin". Once she had set the knob correctly, the stove lights turned on and it started humming quietly, 'Success!' she victoriously boasted to herself.

She continued to wait by her stove gleefully, but as if struck by another sudden revelation... "Wait a second..." smelling the air confirming her suspicions. 'Burning muffin...' She had just remembered that the muffin she bought, was already baked. She quickly opened the oven door to reveal a lone muffin that looked like it started to burn around the edges. "Oh no!" She tried to reach for the knob but she couldn't reach it through the unbearable heat that was pouring out of the oven.

"Err-" Derpy pondered, tapping a hoof on her chin. She looked around and found a bucket laying idly by her sink. "Aha!" She declared triumphantly as her thoughts formulated a strategy to deal with the crisis at hoof.

She quickly grabbed a hold of the bucket's handle, and looked back to the oven that seemingly mocked her with its tantalizing heat, preventing her from obtaining the glorious spoils. "Take this!" She quickly stuck the plastic bucket inside the oven's fiery mouth trying to coax the muffin out from its prison. But before she could make any progress on the muffin the heat quickly became too unbearable and forced her to pull the bucket back out.

She continued to evaluate the increasingly desperate situation when she got the best idea. She sprinted frantically to the sink, knowing she was losing the muffin with every second that passed. She filled up the bucket with water and ran back over to the oven, she grabbed the bucket with both of her hooves, aimed the bucket's open top at the oven. As she cocked the bucket back the bottom caved, weakened from the oven's heat, and spilled water all over the kitchen floor. "Oops..." Derpy said to herself putting a hoof to her chin again in trying to consider her remaining options.

She glanced around the room until she saw a button with a small plaque above it that read, "IN CASE OF DERPY EMERGENCY". 'Oooo! That's me!' She trotted over to the button and pressed it expectantly.

After a minute she heard sirens in the distant getting louder, louder, louder and LOUDER until several emergency response vehicles, a swat truck, and a fire truck came into view through her windows, surrounding her home. she could see a number of ponies, all in uniform surrounding her house and rushing to her front door.

CRASH

Derpy jumped at the loud noise, "Whoa!" and a pony bearing a badge that read, "Emergency Derpy Response Team" ran into the kitchen.

"Er- Hello!" Derpy merrily welcoming the officer.

"WHATSGOINGON, WHYISITSOHOTIN- MOTHER OF CELESTIA!" The brown, moustached earth pony hysterically blurted, gawking at the scene, before realizing what was going on.

Eventually the swat team made their way to the kitchen with pie cannons pointed at every possible threat, mostly Derpy. "STOVE, GO!" the brown earth pony shouted gesturing towards the open oven.

"RODGER!" One of the ponies responded, diving at the stove, pulling it away from the wall. The heat from the stove singeing his coat. "RAAAHHH!" He cried, "I NEED BACK UP ASAP!"

Another one of the swat ponies moved in quickly on the offending appliance, but slipped on the water Derpy had previously spilled "YYYAAARGHHH!" the swat pony howled.

"PONY DOWN!"

"I GOT IT!" Another member of the squad advancing, being sure to avoid the area around his fallen comrade. "WHERE IS IT!" The constant yelling seemingly increasingly unnecessary.

"IN THE BACK!"

The swat pony climbed over the counter and found the power plug, "I GOT VISUALS ON THE TARGET!" He shouted.

"DO IT!"

Sweat percolated on his forehead, his hooves trembled and fumbled with the power cable... He only had one shot at this... He pulled the plug and the stove seemingly turned off. A wave of relief swept over his body as he let out a sigh.

They let go of the stove and scrambled away from the dissipating heat.

"Hey, thanks mister!" Derpy cheerfully thanking the team for their efforts.

"Don't mention it mam' we're just doing our job." The team packed up their belongings, carrying out the wounded pony, and what appeared to be a suitcase with a big red button in it labeled "Plan B".

"Alright cut the chit-chat we got debrief in five, move out!" The moustached earth pony barking orders.

The ponies made their way out of the home, and the vehicles around her house disengaged from the vicinity and headed back from where they came, across the street.

Derpy looked around and seeing that the coast was finally clear and she made her way back to the oven, the heat was still there but was tolerable now. She peered into the oven to find the muffin completely burnt and ruined from the ordeal.

"Now I don't have a muffin for my date with Pinkie..." The pegasus frowned. She really loved that crazy pink pony, the only thing she loved more than muffins.

Derpy had a date with Pinkie Pie at the park in 30 minutes. 'I guess I should go get ready anyway!' Derpy stood there for a minute looking around in her kitchen. "Ummmm..." She thought out loud, "I'M READY!"

Derpy trotted gingerly through her kitchen, into her living room grabbing a hoof-full of roses and proceeding out her front door, ready to take on the world. However, the world, not so ready for what is about to happen...

***

Author Notes:

This'll probably turn out to be a short 3 part series or something, I thought it would be a funny idea for a ship so I went ahead and went there. Nothing mature here, just innocent, chaotic fun between two love interests. It'll be something to give me a break from my other project.

Also I don't care what anyone says, derpy will always be derpy to me, because derpy is best background pony.

Not going with pre-readers on this one, just my raw writing, I'm using this story more as a chance for me to improve as a writer and have fun with.

I plan on finishing the whole story with in the week! I hope you enjoy!