A Traditional Struggle

I sat on the wall outside House Av Crag, sitting with one of the Av Crag ponies. I kicked my legs, limply slapping them against the ground as the sun slowly went down. I looked over to the colt I was sitting with, watching as he poked his cellphone with his hoof. "Hey...does it ever bother you how strange things are?"

The colt looked up, nearly dropping his phone. "What do you mean?"

I looked down at my medieval attire, tugging at my chest piece and leather boots. "Like...we dress from times long past, but here you are with a cellphone."

The colt shrugged. "I don't mind. It's a nice style I think, and are you just mad cause you don't have a cell?"

I glared at the pony, snatching his phone away and holding it out of his reach. "I've never needed one! And...I mean, I've seen humans dress like this in books dated...well, centuries ago! And this...thing-" I gently tapped the delicate electronic device, "-is just sitting here, ruining the whole aesthetic."

The colt just stared at me, blankly, gormlessly. "Can I have my phone back?"

I let out a long huff and handed the phone back. "I guess it's me with the problem." I hopped off the wall and started off towards the actual compound. The Av Crag land was huge, basically one giant mile long field at the bottom of the valley. A few buildings dotted it, but it all came back to the main hall, the two story L that sat near the front.

I hurried up to the building and stepped inside. I got a few strange looks for a few seconds before the occupants recognized me. "Oh...Coal, she's in her room." A dull looking human said, stretching his legs. "Top floor, door with the purple crest with a white circle around it."

"Thanks fri--" I stopped dead and turned the the man. "Hey...does it bother you, the way we dress I mean."

The man looked down at his clothes, his outfit leather and heavy cotton. "What do you mean? Like...fashion wise?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I've seen pictures from other towns, we seem so...old fashion compared to them."

The man uncrossed his legs, his cuffed boots slamming against the stone. "Trust me kid, jeans and a tee-shirt get old after so long. I mean, I guess we do dress a little...archaic, but the folks in Canterlot are always dressed up like their going to some fancy ball or something."

"Yeah bu- hmm, I guess you're right." I rubbed my chin, blue stubble budding from my face. "What was that thing you said?"

"Jeans and a tee-shirt. It's like...the most standard clothes you could find. I mean, ponies didn't wear clothes normally until humans showed up! And even then it took like...five years, seven years. I mean...we could all be naked if we wanted, there's no laws against it!"

I rubbed my arm through my jacket. "Uh...but it's a bit cold out."

"Then stop complaining." The man grumbled, plopping back down. "Besides, you look fine. Really imposing, exotic, stuff like that."

I pulled at my metal chest piece. "It just feels so old fashion is all. I guess it's me with the problem--"

The man let out a long groan. "You're leaving right? Going to Canterlot?"

I nodded a few times.  "Yeah, what about--"

The man scribbled something onto a small slip of paper. "Go here, they sell clothes for satyrs. Just pick something normal and see how you feel."

I took the note from him. "Oh, alright sure."

"Oh, and find a way to meet Twilight Sparkle, Arrow loves her freaking show." The man crossed his arms and pulled his hat down. "It'd be a nice thing to do."

I tucked the note into my pocket, hurrying up the stairs of the true House Av Crag. I ignored the burning in my calves, hurrying to the top floor and looking down the hall. Two ways lay before me, either way could have been right, and there was nothing at stake, yet I felt an extremely large amount of anxiety from this simple thing. "...Gods damn it...." I stuffed my hands in my pockets and tried to spot the crest the man had talked about.

I couldn't see a thing, the angle to shallow to see anything. "I- just crap, crap shite bollocks," I muttered to myself, walking down one of the halls. There were almost all bedrooms, and I didn't want to risk waking anyone this early in the night. I walked all the way down the long hall, not spotting the crest on any of the doors. "...Damn." I mumbled, feeling the sense of anxiety replaced by annoyance.

I hurried down to the other hall, my boots tapping against the wood floor loudly. I charged down to the end of the other hall, still not finding a crest of any sort on any of the doors. "Is this a joke!?"

The nearest door was thrown open, revealing Arrow's father, Pyrrhic. "Coal, for the love of The Mother, what do you want!?"

I took a step back, spotting his wife scratching her head in the background. "Um.... The Count sent me to pick up Arrow...I can't--"

Pyrrhic rubbed his good eye, "Other hall, second to last door on the left.... Now hurry before you wake, everyone, up!"

I hurried off, taking my boots off to make less noise. "It's the room with the crest, no it's the room on the left, now go get out of here." I mocked, hurried to the proper door and throwing it open. Arrow was on the other side of the amazingly girly room, packing.

I stepped into the rather large room, looking around at all the posters, plush dolls and pink and white that dotted the room. "I uh...Coal...hello."

I looked at a shelf, spotting a plush doll of the Princess Twilight Sparkle. "Um...this--" I spotted another, a famous Equestrian hero, Rainbow Dash. I picked up the stuffed doll and looked it over. "Um...you really like her show, don't you?"

Arrow grew a bit pink and stuffed a pair of panties into a luggage case. "I...am a fan, yes. What of it?"

I looked at the pink painted walls, running my hand along the white shelf she had her dolls on. "You know, I was joking, but you're a girl after all!"

Arrow snapped her case closed, "Coal get out of my room!"

I set the doll down, moving to a bright white dresser. "What...we've...done things. Why are you so nervous about this?" I pulled a drawer open, spotting a myriad of different extremely girly panties. "...Words...fail me." I stifled a laugh as I plucked a pair out, unfolding them and looking at the little bow that was stitched into the waist. "And look!" I set the panties down and looked into the drawer. "Everything's so neat and nicely folded! I- this is amazing!"

Arrow raised her voice. "Coal get out of my room!"

I continued to explore her amazingly girly secret life. She had always put up a, I'm tough, don't screw with me, front. But this was gold. "This is like a shrine to PVA!"

"Don't talk about Pony Valle!" Arrow snapped, grabbing a set of teddy bear patterned socks from me. "Now get out!"

I threw my hands up. "I was supposed to come tell you we're supposed to meet the Count at the train station!" I turned to her window, laughing gently as I looked at her thin gossamer curtains. "You're a treat, you know that? A tough cookie with a creamy inside- is that porn!?" I snapped, spotting something under her bedside table. "That's porn!"

Arrow ran over to me. "Reach for that and I'll crush your fingers!"

I risked it, barely saving my digits and snatching up the magazine. "But you have a computer, why don't you just.... Oh...oh my, oooooh my." I jeered, looking the magazine over. It wasn't porn as I had thought, it was a toy catalog, full of the order numbers for the different Pony Valle cartoon toys. I hugged the magazine. "Oooh, you are adorable! I knew it was in there somewhere!"

"...Coal...please, get out of my room." Arrow croaked, closing her laptop and packing it away. "...Please?"

I snapped to her, tucking the magazine into my jacket. "Um...okay." Something about her voice was extremely unnerving, and as much fun as I had taunting her and teasing her, I could tell when she meant business. I backed out of her room, snagging a doll of Applejack and looking over it in the hall.

It struck me as odd that the princess had allowed an animation company to make a show about her exploits, it felt even stranger that the show featured the old Elements of Harmony, even though they were never really comfortable with being huge heroes.

I squeezed the doll, pressing an internal button, "Yeehaw." the orange doll cried out, confusing me even further, it was Applejack's real voice. I pressed the button again, "Ain't nothing but apples."

I pulled the magazine from my jacket, looking over the catalog. "Hmm, I could find some of these...." I mumbled to myself, ears twitching as Arrow's door opened. I looked up, finding her dressed up in a tight fitting polo shirt, a pair of tight jeans and a pair of hoof covering shoes. "...See, this is what I was talking about! This look, normal!"

Arrow cocked an eyebrow. "...We have pony legs...and human torsos...what is normal about us?"

I mumbled softly and handed her the plush doll. "It's this thing I've been thinking about. Anyways, I'll take the bag."

Arrow nodded and started leading me down the hall, her tail just off the floor as she swaggered in front of me. "Where's your bags?"

I let out a rough cough, deciding to try and speak English Equestrian. "They're at the train, already."

Arrow looked back at me, a bit of a worried expression on her face. "Can you seriously not speak Equestrian? See...this is why I watched Twilight Time and Cappy! You learn so much from those little kid shows!" She exclaimed exuberantly.

I grumbled to myself as we started off down the steps. "Cappy is for five year olds and little girls!"

"Well that makes sense, you speak like a five year old little girl!"

A pony started flailing their hoof at me as we walked down to the ground floor. "Oooooooh, sick burn!"

"Screw you!" I shot back, nearly tumbling down the stairs. "Who even is that!?"

Arrow snickered softly. "She's my cousin. Anyways, where are we gonna go?"

I scratched my head with my free hand, "What do you mean?"

Arrow held the door open as I walked towards the train station. "Like, where are we gonna go after Canterlot?"

"Uh...I don't know- I do not, know."

Arrow laughed and overtook me, walking a few steps ahead. "You sound so funny trying to speak Equestrian."

I grumbled angrily. "And your room is like a PVA convention."

Arrow went quiet, quickly leading me towards the train. I trailed calmly after her, spotting a small group standing on the platform. I could see the Count, his daughter, his wife and his son, all standing there watching us approach. I hurried my pace, catching up to Arrow and grabbing her hand. "Arrow...you ready?"

She looked back at me with a worried look. "I'm fine...but you look a little sick."

I took a deep breath and looked over to the royals that stood on the platform. "I feel a little sick...." Arrow frowned hard. She gave me a quick pull, forcing me along. I held onto her bag, racing up the steps and finding myself before the Count before I could make any complaint or rebuttal. "I- hello...."

The Count just looked at me, his face somehow obscure despite the lanterns that lit up the platform. It was like no matter how dead on you looked at him there was always a shadow cast on his face. "Coal, Arrow, kids...how are ya?" His voice was surprisingly tender, "You ready to go?"

I scratched my head, unable to feel distressed when spoken to in such a kind manner. "Um...I am...mostly. Arrow?"

Arrow looked at me, her eyebrow cocked. "I was asking him where he wanted to go, he's all nervous now."

The Count scratched his head. "Well, you're not the only ones going. There's...about six pairs, all kids who said they want their own house." He nodded dutifully, "Wight why did you not want to go?" he asked the young Countess in the corner, the raven haired satyr shooting upright.

"Uh...cause Canterlot is boring."

I could finally see the Count's face. His eyes were rolling softly. "She's not wrong. Anyways, here." The count pulled a small set of cards from his pocket and handed them to us. "Money, should be enough to get a plot of land somewhere or a house. But...I'm not in charge of you once you leave. Anyways, just go out, have fun, explore, I mean that's why I'm doing this."

The green stallion standing with the count tugged on his jacket. "Uh, dad, the boxes."

The Count looked down, "Box- oh, oh right! Wayne go give the ones on the train their boxes!"

The green stallion nodded, heading off to a small stack next to the train. The Count did the same, coming back to us with a set of oddly shaped boxes. The Countess looked the boxes over, "Uh...Ben, what are those?"

The Count put his hand on his wife's head. "Just some gifts, that's all." The Count pressed a box into my hands and leaned his head down towards my ear. "I talked with your mom, you're certified to use that thing now, but don't go chopping someone's arm off." He planted another into Arrow's hands. "Same for you, but don't shoot anyone."

I couldn't help but feel a little confused as I pulled the box open, my confusing evaporating as I looked over the slightly curved steel saber and scabbard that sat inside. "Holy shit!" I yelped, "That's- awesome!"

The Count nodded as Arrow pulled an ornate crossbow and a few bolts from her box, looking rather perplexed. "Um...Count Wesk, is this really a good idea?"

I set Arrow's bag down and slid my belt around the scabbard. "This is the best idea!" I screamed, sliding the perfect saber into the sheath with a loud, clack. "Oooo-hoo-hoo, that sound!"

The Count nodded a few times. "You're representing Transylmania, so...don't get locked up. But...that thing is real, so I mean...it's a sword, you know how to handle it."

I had to surpress my joy and picked up Arrow's bag. "Yes sir! This is- I mean I've had a lot of practice...but I've never had my own!"

The Count shrugged, crouching down and hugging his wife. "She said I should send you off with something, so I figured it'd be appropriate for your families."

The Countess wiggled free. "I didn't mean you should give kids weapons!"

The Count shrugged. "I gave our nephew a bunch of botany books and some chemistry supplies. I'm not about to give the slut family a sword, or the fighters a bunch of poetry or perfume!"

Arrow grabbed my wrist and started pulling me into the train. "...They're gonna be at that for a while." she stated, leading me into the train and pulling me towards a small room. She pulled it open, "These your bags?"

I nodded, spotting my bag in a cupboard. I stowed Arrow's bag and found a seat in the small private room. "So...now what?"

Arrow peered out the window. "Uh.... I got some cartoons on my computer...we could watch, Go West."

I scratched my head, "Isn't that, that pony cartoon with the guns?"

Arrow scoffed, "It's the best cartoon with guns!" She pulled her laptop from her bags and threw herself onto one of the bunk beds in the room. "Now are you gonna watch or what?"

I let out a long groan and joined her on the bed, laying on my stomach and resting my hand over her shoulder. "So...besides cartoons and being angry- Whoa shit!" I shouted as a gunshot snapped from the laptop speakers. A pony with a wide brim hat stood with smoke drifting from a small silver barrel just under his hat.

Arrow tightened up, laying her tail across my back. "Cartoons...are...amazing, you douche bag."

I watched the earth pony flail a pistol around his hoof, eventually slamming it into a holster under his barrel. "Um...I'm inclined to agree." We ended up watching half a season while the train was loaded up, and for the first time in my life, I enjoyed being a nerd.