Cadance loved her bed. Large, soft, and luxurious, she could honestly say it was her favorite place in the world. All warm and peaceful, especially with her husband snuggling her from behind and cradling her with his strong forelegs around her rounding belly. Many nights Cadance fell asleep under those idyllic conditions, such as this night.
However, Cadance wasn’t in her bed.
Currently, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Alicorn of Love, sovereign ruler of the Crystal Empire, Co-Savior of Canterlot from the Changeling Menace, and certified pretty pink pony princess, found herself in front of the toilet, sending the contents of last night’s dinner into her other crystal throne. This early in the morning, she would much rather be in her comfy bed instead of the bathroom floor.
She started panting, pangs of discomfort still resonating in her belly. It was always like this, more upheavals following the one that sent her scrambling. A few seconds passed, but the pain receded steadily. Maybe it was just – wait, no. Another was rising. Cadance straightened herself, exhaled deeply, and as regally as possible, resumed her vomiting.
As the latest heave finished, Cadance groaned and weakly fell on her side, the small bath mat cushioning her fall to the hard crystal floor. Wasn’t she forgetting something? Her eyes blearily rose to the toilet’s handle above, three feet and an insurmountable distance away. She doubted she could rise anytime soon, but she had her magic. Cadance lit her horn to cast her spell, and– suddenly gasped and ceased. As her magic started, so did her stomach, and she likely would have made a mess on the floor had she continued. Tears formed on the edges of the princess’ eyes, spurned by her feeling of helplessness and the lingering pain.
Stars, she didn’t even feel this powerless when she faced Tirek. She didn’t even possess magic then – not that it’d help much now – and she couldn’t just stay in a heap. Fighting back the fire in her gut, she cast her magic again, simply trying to pull the handle down with the two pounds of force it needed. The handle wobbled, her magic too unfocused for this simple task. More exertion, more pain, but no change. The alicorn’s struggle continued as her vision blurred more, partly from the hurting but mostly her tears escalated to sobbing.
Suddenly, a magenta aura replaced the faltering sky blue, and the reeking detritus in the bowl was finally banished from the royal lavatory. A slight nudge of the head forward, and her image of her crystal toilet and counter were replaced with Prince Shining Armor in the doorway, approaching steadily. She didn’t know why, but her sobbing increased at the sight of her husband. Why now? What would her love think at this?
“S-Shining,” she weakly called. “I’m just...”
Shining gave a knowing nod. “You holding on, honey?”
Her head fell, giving him the answer he needed. Gently, he moved to the side of his wife’s prone form and laid alongside her.
Tears continued to flow from Cadance’s eyes. Thank Celestia the dim lighting meant her husband couldn’t fully see how awful she must look. Not that her husband would love her any less. Though, she adored all the moments where he would whisper in ear how she’s the most beautiful and wonderful mare in the world; her current state was solid evidence against that claim. Was that why she was crying? Her husband seeing her like this? No, not that. Was she seriously considering her Shiny wouldn’t look past her state? Why was she doubting him?
Cadance shut her eyes, letting loose another sob. Oh, everything was so wrong.
A light touch broke through the princess’ haze, the feeling of her husband’s hoof gently rubbing her shoulder bringing her back to reality. Cadance couldn’t help but smile. At least she wasn’t alone. As if insulted by her brief moment of happiness, her nausea spiked again. Shining noticed the quick change of expression, quickly hefting Cadance over the rim of the toilet. Cadance choked and clenched, but nothing came out, and several agonizing attempts still produced the same result. Her brief respite was shattered, and the pain returned with its demise.
“Oh Celestia, Shiny, this hurts!” she whimpered. “How am I going to last like this? I’ve got five more months!” She shut her eyes, thinking of Shining Armor and ... anger? He did this to me, she thought. He gave that baby to her, and now she’s in the worst pain she can remember right now. He’s the reason why it hurts so much. It isn’t fair, why isn’t he feeling how she’s feeling right now?
Shining didn’t speak, but leaned forward and rested his muzzle against her neck. Just like that, the anger dissipated. Was she really thinking such? Stars, she was a wreck. Humming softly into her tricolored mane, he tried his best to soothe her. “Cady, honey, the best things in life are those we have to fight for.” Even in her state, Cadance knew very well what terrifying threats he was referring to; Chrysalis, Sombra, Tirek, that games inspector...
“But those were matters of life and death. I’m just trying to make a new foal, not fight a war.”
“Well, looks like you’re winning a battle to me, honey. Remember that book Twily gave us?”
How could she forget? Her sister-in-law practically exploded upon learning of the future addition to the royal family, jumping around like a filly while chanting “yes” over and over and over again. Talk of how she’d be the greatest aunt ever dominated the dinner discussion of the Royal couple’s visit, about all the books she’d read to their child and the perfect foal diet she was already calculating. Twilight sent the two home the next morning, their luggage one copy of Everything You Wanted to Know About Foaling (But Were Too Afraid To Ask) heavier, which they ended up consulting frequently.
She gave a nod, so Shining continued, “Remember the part about... this?” Cadance sniffled and muttered something inaudible, but he was familiar enough with her mannerisms when emotional to know a ‘yes’ when he heard one. “Your body just thinks something you ate is going to be bad for our baby, and it's getting it out. Not having any vomiting or anything probably means something’s wrong with your system.”
He caressed his wife’s cheek as he continued. “So that just means your body is working just fine, and you’re having a healthy pregnancy. Believe me, you’re the strongest mare I know.”
She felt a slight surge of pride at that praise, even if she’s heard it before. She needed his confidence, she needed him. What she didn’t need another pang from her stomach, but she mostly ignored that one. Oh, he was making that handsome, cheesy smile of his. That look never failed to make Cadance brighten, and tonight was no exception. She sighed, lowering her eyes and relaxing, and suddenly she felt her lover’s lips on hers. No, this was just what she needed.
Cadance closed her eyes fully and deepened the kiss. Another, another on her lips, and for the first time this morning her mind went hazy from a good feeling. The next press, Cadance lowered her jaw slightly, inviting her husband’s tongue just a bit deeper. Horrible idea, since her mouth still tasted of the vomit she was expelling a few minutes ago. Shining quickly pulled away, turning and coughing, almost sending himself retching as well. “Gross!”
Once he finally got his gagging under control, he swiveled his head back to his wife. “Okay, okay, remind me to never, ever do that again.”
“Oh, Shiny,” she giggled, some confidence returning. “It’s not like you haven’t tasted other gross things...”
“Like last week when you had ice cream with celery and mustard, and convinced me to take a bite as well?”
“... Of course that’s what I meant, silly.”
“I’ll do a lot of things for love, but I won’t do that. Not the ice cream, at least.” His horn lit, the sound of the sink’s faucet springing to life reaching Cadance’s ears. Out of the corner of her eye, an orb of water scooted towards the pair, the prince’s signature shield spell forming an ethereal container. A gap opened on the shield’s bottom, and Shining took the falling water into his mouth, swished, and leaned over to spit it into the toilet. Drink, swig, spit, repeat, until the white unicorn felt clean. Nice to see the same magic that could keep an invasion at bay had a domestic application, Cadance thought to herself. Hmm, water...
Shining Armor picked up on her unconscious signal, and levitated a second glob of water so Cadance could perform the same. Her strength was returning, and she could lean on her own power to spit in the bowl. Content for now, the alicorn leaned back into her husband and closed her eyes, only to be nudged back to see a third orb of water. Before she could refuse, her husband told her, “Drink. All that vomiting means you lost a lot of liquid. I’m not having you dehydrate on my watch.”
Always looking out for her, as always. Strong and decisive, but gentle and thoughtful. How could she have doubted that, if only for a moment? The ethereal container floated to her lips, and she managed it all down with no fuss. Victory at last. Oh, she must have fallen so far, if the simple task of sipping water was worthy of celebration. A breath in, a breath out. Nothing but Cadance’s panting, steadily reducing in volume, acted as fanfare for her struggle.
A few moments later, Shining Armor broke the silence. “Honey, do you think we can head back to bed now?”
Cadance almost said yes, and nearly was able to return to the large, comfy, bed with her husband gently holding her from behind and whispering kind words into her ears.. Her stomach said no, announcing such with a loud grumble that echoed off the bathroom walls. She gave a whimper. She’s going to be hunched over this porcelain prison all night. She didn’t cry, though. Not this time. She was too tired to cry.
Suddenly, Shining Armor stood up. “Be right back,” he stated, before hurriedly retreating out the door.
Cadance watched him go, wondering what he was planning. Her thoughts had no time to wander, corralled just as quickly as her Shining Armor returned. Behind him, two warm blankets and the largest, softest pillows of their bed setup idly tagged along, levitated in a magenta aura, “Next best thing,” the prince said with a smile.
She returned the smile. “You sure you want to stay here? I might ruin these wonderful blankets at any second.”
“I don’t care.”
“Not a bit?”
Her husband adopted the sternest look she’d seen. “I love you, honey. True love is letting somepony vomit all over you and not minding at all.”
Cadance started laughing. Wildly, obnoxiously, but above all, happily. Shutting her eyes, her chest clenching from the giggles. That joke wasn’t very funny, or even in good taste. Yet it made her forget how awful her early morning adventure proved, and when she opened her eyes, the blankets were below and above her, and the two lovers were in the same position as in their own bed. Shining Armor cradled her from behind, softly massaging her now-peaceful belly as he dug his muzzle into the back of her mane. Less comfortable, yes, but no less intimate.
“So,” she whispered, “I guess that means Luna doesn’t truly love me?”
“Nope,” he whispered back cheekily. Informing the Royal Sisters of their new foal didn’t go as smoothly as telling Twilight did, but that was another story. His breathing grew quiet and steady, a familiar metronome beckoning his wife to join him in slumber. Finally at ease, Princess Cadance snuggled closer to her husband and fell asleep once more.
Perhaps the bathroom floor wasn’t so bad after all.
Author's Note
Note: Princess Cadance is legally obligated to carry a bucket with her whenever in the vicinity of Princess Luna for the next six months.
After three years of putzing around FIMFiction, I've finally decided to dip my toes into the pool of fanfiction with a piece of my own. I hope it's acceptable, and you aren't gagging like how Cadance did in the story.
I can't take all the credit for sending you scrambling away from your computer. First, it's all the many, many people whose wonderful stories inspired me to make my own. You know who you are. Next, I'd like to thank the three people I somehow convinced to help pre-read. Silver Tongue, Shrapmo, and DieForSurviving are my co-conspirators, and I can't thank them enough for that. And finally, thank you, for actually reading this far. No, seriously, thank you.
